Top Gear (US) s04e05 Episode Script
Sturgis
1 Now on "Top Gear" What?! Oh! It's cold! It's cold! We swap four wheels for two and head to the legendary Sturgis Motorcycle Rally.
Whoever does best gets to take on the fastest bike in the world, while the loser pays a heavy price.
Sturgis, South Dakota.
51 weeks out of the year, it's just another small town on America's great plains.
But in early August, it transforms Into the home of the biggest motorcycle rally on the planet, where the world's toughest bikers come to show off their rides.
"Top Gear" sent us here on a mission to see which one of us was the best on two wheels.
Wow.
How awesome is this? This is bucket list for me right now.
This is Harley Woodstock.
This was it.
Time to mount up and show Sturgis that we could hang with the toughest bikers on the planet.
So what rides did we have waiting for us? All right.
Here you guys go.
Here's your three bikes right here.
- These? - Yeah.
- No, no, no.
- Scooters? - There's a mistake.
- No.
Have a good ride, guys.
Thanks.
I guess.
So - You can't go to Sturgis - Not on a scooter.
Rolling through Sturgis looking like pizza-delivery boys was likely to get us killed.
Who ordered these? I mean, I said we wanted Harleys.
That's what I Then how did we end up with piaggio? We got hosed again.
But these scooters were just the beginning.
To determine who was the best rider, we'd compete in challenges.
Win a challenge, and we'd get a chance to upgrade to a better bike.
Really? You know, maybe there's some logic here.
A lot of motorcycle gangs have, like, crazy initiations.
Maybe this is ours.
This? Why can't we just rob something? At the first Sturgis bike rally in 1938, only nine riders showed up.
But this year's 75th anniversary brought over 500,000 bikers from all over the world, and almost every single one of them was on a Harley.
This wasn't the place to be seen on a scooter.
So as we headed to our first challenge 15 miles away, our only chance for survival was to keep a low profile.
Whatever you do, don't hit the horn.
Hey, how's it going? Nice hog.
You guys, this is why you're gonna get beat up.
Right here.
Oh, Adam.
It didn't help that these bikes topped out at only 39 miles per hour, which made us moving road hazards.
This thing is so slow, it's unbelievable.
Oh, we're getting passed by a dump truck with a trailer.
Oh, my God.
We're dead.
Riding motorcycles is not for everyone.
It is really, really dangerous.
I mean, it's for real, and it's really hard, 'cause no one pays attention anymore.
People are sitting there texting.
They're changing songs on their iPod.
They're not looking at the road.
And adding someone like Adam, who's never ridden a bike before, makes things really dangerous.
Hello.
Oh! Dude! Left side! "Hello" doesn't work.
I can't believe that Adam even passed the test to get a motorcycle license.
He's not very good on four wheels.
Why would you want to take two of them away? And he didn't even flip us the bird.
What a nice guy.
He figured we got enough problems.
What's up, guys? Hey, just riding to Sturgis with y'all.
Did you see the look of disgust on their face? That was amazing.
The only thing worse than the embarrassment of being seen riding these scooters was actually riding them.
The difference between riding a motorcycle and a scooter is that on a motorcycle, one it's, like, balanced.
It's got the gyroscopic effect of the wheels, so it actually feels stable.
Scooter, no.
Anytime you wiggle the wheel, sneeze, you get a speed wobble, it could just put you on the ground.
Two there's the slope of the seat.
What it does is it grabs the seam of your jeans just grabs it and then yanks it up.
You constantly see people pulling their jeans down on scooters.
That's because they are riding high and dirty.
Where are you from originally? - From California.
- Are you? Apparently, Tanner's scooter had gotten very dirty in 20 minutes.
He's gonna stop at every one of these.
We're never gonna make Sturgis.
"Yeah.
Oh, hi.
I'm a rally-car driver.
" "My hog's getting some repair work done.
This is a loaner.
" It's a lot smaller than we've been washing.
Oh.
Uh, it I mean After tiny dancer's bath, we continued on to our first challenge, a few miles away.
Jump it! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Even as dorky as these things are, man, it is so nice to just hit the road.
That's what I love about riding a motorcycle.
Because there's no distractions.
There's no cellphones, there's no e-mails.
It's just you and the road.
Wherever it takes you.
Thankfully, we had arrived at our first challenge, and it was a chance to upgrade our bikes.
These were yamaha v star 250s.
They may not have been Harleys, but with a top speed of 85 miles per hour, they were a vast improvement over the scooters.
All right.
Well, there's a couple bikes.
That's good news.
Only a couple, though.
Yeah.
You know what this is? Three men enter.
Two men leave.
One of us is still stuck with a scooter? I mean, he's talking to you.
You know that means you.
"To see which of you has the best riding position, "you'll complete a slalom course with a bowl of fruit punch secured on the top of your helmet.
" That explains that.
"The two with the most fruit punch left will upgrade to motorcycles.
" This isn't fair.
Look at that.
No.
You're right.
It's not.
The stability of the foundation.
Yeah.
You guys make fun of it now.
You wish you had a head this big.
You're gonna be on a scooter at Sturgis.
- Really? - Adam.
You're up first.
Thank you.
You need to keep your head right about that level there.
Okay.
Go.
"Okay.
Go"? What do you mean, "okay.
Go"? I just you just oh, there's a bee and fruit juice.
Yeah.
He's gonna chase you around.
Oh, man! This stuff is heavy! Full throttle! - Oh.
- Come on.
Oh, boy.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh! Oh! It's cold! It's cold! Aah! Put your feet in there! Ride a scooter like a man! Oh, boy.
This ain't good.
Oh! Aah! Easy! How is that possible? Hey.
Aw What an idiot.
Juice me.
Let's see what's in here.
Bow to the master.
You have to yeah.
Just come on down.
Just a little lower.
Just out of respect.
There it is.
Okay.
And bow.
Thank you.
Keep coming.
All righty.
Little bit further.
Thank you.
Okay.
How much did he lose? You had two quarts.
You got one left.
Great.
It's not good.
You see the glass as half empty.
I see it as half full.
Just go.
Just don't listen to that.
Okay.
I'm ready.
Let's do it.
Just remember you're Tanner faust.
You can't be seen on a scooter at Sturgis.
Right? No pressure.
Great.
I'm just gonna take it nice and easy through the whole track.
No time component.
No reason to rush.
No hurry here.
Hit it.
Just gonna take my time.
- No time penalty, right? - There you go.
Watch this launch.
Nice and easy.
There he goes.
Nice.
Oh, you know what? Give me a break.
It's a race.
You got to go fast.
Oh, yeah! Yeah! What?! Oh! It's cold! It's cold! It's cold! It's cold! Oh, God, no! What is happening? Oh, right on the crotch! You guys suck! You suck! I'm gonna kill you! You're gonna look really cool riding this the whole time at Sturgis.
If there's something left, then I got a chance.
Okay.
Ladies, can we focus, please? This is serious stuff.
All right.
Come on.
This is awkward.
This is very awkward.
What?! I'm thinking half a juice box.
What do you think? Two ounces, tops.
Two ounces, tops.
It's a stupid game anyway.
I know.
I know.
There's no clock in it.
I was like twice as fast.
Drive away.
Take your helmet off.
I can't wait to ride that motorcycle.
Oh, my God.
If he doesn't lose every drop, I'm gonna shoot myself.
All right.
I'm ready to lose this scooter.
Let's do it.
Coming up I get a real motorcycle.
This is great.
But with three challenges to finish, which one of us will be forced to suffer the ultimate punishment? You got to remember, now, this is a stunt that people die doing this if you're not careful.
- What? - I'm sorry.
What? "Top Gear" had us in South Dakota for Sturgis bike week.
Embarrassingly, we all had to start out on scooters.
Each challenge gave us a chance to upgrade to a bike less likely to get us attacked.
Oh! Oh, it's cold! I had beaten Tanner.
So it all came down to whether rut could make it around the track without spilling all the punch.
And three, two, one.
Good till the last drop! Okay.
Oh, wow.
I got to keep the shoulders oh, this is no problem.
I got this.
Oh, oh.
That is heavy.
Oh, boy.
Eas oh.
Ooh.
Ooh.
I've run over my foot.
Didn't expect that.
Okay.
Now I got it.
Now I'm in a rhythm! No.
I got it.
Oh.
Okay.
Oh! - Oh! - Oh! Yes! Pick that thing up so you can live on it for the next three days.
Wait.
Let's measure.
Stay right there.
We're coming.
Why are you bringing that? We just want to keep it official and fair here.
Let's go ahead and get ooh.
There's a little bit.
- Did you get it? Nothing.
Motorcycle-bound.
This just feels so wrong.
So wrong.
Uh-oh.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, daddy.
You ready to ride? Let's go.
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Okay.
Okay.
Whoo-hoo-hoo! See ya.
You guys suck! So with the world's largest pizza-delivery boy in tow, we headed to our next challenge, 20 miles away.
They may not be fast, but they sure are shiny.
Yeah.
Wait a minute.
I got to shift.
There you go.
Rut, did you shift? Oh, I'm sorry.
I have one gear.
No shift? Yeah.
No shift.
Real funny.
Are you guys gonna wait for me at all, or what's the deal here? Are you seriously not keeping up with us? What's the matter? This is as fast as it goes! Come on, rut.
You can catch up.
Come on.
Hey, Adam, we could cut our trip in, like, half if we just hop on the highway, you know.
I like your thinking.
Rut, you know how to get there on surface streets? You guys aren't gonna leave me, are you? See you later, bro.
Be careful on that scooter, fruit punch.
Wow.
Look to your right, my friend.
Rolling hills.
Now we're kind of experiencing the land, yeah? Yeah, a little bit.
All right, Tanner.
These are they're an upgrade, no doubt, you know.
But we're still, like, not out of the woods of getting beaten to death at Sturgis on these things.
You know that.
For sure.
It's not so bad, really.
See the chicks in the car behind me? They're digging me.
Hey.
How you doing? See? See? They like a dude on a scooter.
What am I talking about? This is awful.
This is degrading.
It's demeaning.
I ride motorcycles.
I own two motorcycles, and I'm on a scooter at Sturgis.
This is just wrong.
But when I pulled into the next challenge, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel.
Win, and I'd get one of these.
A $15,000 v-rod muscle with a 1,250cc liquid-cooled engine, and my favorite Harley of them all, the 20-grand, 1,600cc twin-cam street glide.
- Oh! - Yeah! - There it is.
- That's what I'm talking about.
- V-rod.
- Finally, some Harleys for Sturgis.
Street glide.
It's even flat black.
I mean, it's calling me.
All right.
"Being able to handle your ride at any speed "is the key to being safe as a motorcycle rider.
"And sometimes slower is harder.
"To see which of you has the most control, "you'll now compete in a three-wide drag race where the last to cross the finish line wins.
" Seriously? A slow race? Did you write this? I don't like to go slowly, for the record.
I mean, right now I don't really have a choice.
I'm on a scooter, which, oddly, is going to help me land my dream bike.
We had to do just one lap of the deadwood go-kart track, and to have any chance of surviving at Sturgis, this was a challenge I couldn't afford to lose.
Here's the thing.
Rut has the clear advantage.
No gears.
A light bike.
I use the word "bike," but you know I mean scooter.
And he likes to go slow, so this is made for him.
Tanner, on the other hand I'm counting he snaps.
Just snaps and says, "I can't go this slow," and just takes off, in which case, I'll slide right in, finish, and get a Harley.
All right, guys.
This is it.
First person to finish loses.
I don't know why you're doing that.
You're not gonna need that throttle.
I'm ready to go, fellas.
Okay.
You want to stop? Ready.
Set.
Go! All right.
Here it goes.
Are you guys gonna you go! - Go! - Go! Go! All right.
Go.
Oh, yeah.
Look at me.
That's it.
Oh! Foot down! Foot down for Adam! All right! All right! I'm still going.
Oh, you tried to cut me off, huh? You jerk.
Not gonna work.
Look at my balance wow.
I am graceful right now.
Got a little throttle, a little brake.
Oh! Foot down.
Oh, Adam's foot is down again.
Hey, Tanner, you're going kind of fast.
Why don't you slow down? You can't do it! Finally we've found something you're terrible at.
Did you put your foot down? Rut has been oh, I just caught him! What are you talking about?! Rut has had his foot down the whole time! That is not true.
Rut is cheating like crazy back there.
Not true.
Not true.
As the light faded, Adam could control himself no more Oh, come on.
Come on.
No! No! No! And crossed the line first.
Yes! It's over! Oh.
It's all over! Oh, finally I can get rid of this scooter! Whoo! That was the dumbest idea they've ever come up with.
It served its purpose.
What? To prove that you're a pain in the "You put your foot down.
You put your foot down.
" Which one do you want? I'm all over the v-rod.
Done.
I want the street glide.
Really? Yeah.
Oh, my gosh.
Look at the size of this thing.
You know street glide, a man's bike.
Yeah.
But you can ride it, too.
You hear that? You hear that? You know what? I like it.
You know why I like this? Anyone can ride to Sturgis on a Harley.
Can you hear him? I can't hear you! Can you see me? Can you see that? Let's roll.
Now we're talking.
Okay.
There you go.
Oh, she's a big girl.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, there it is.
Oh, good.
And I thought this was gonna suck.
The next morning, we headed for Sturgis and our final challenge, with at least two of us looking forward to our triumphant entrance.
For the record dumbest challenge I think we've ever done, and I ended up on this.
It sounds like it's just dumb because you didn't win.
It looks pretty good on you, Adam.
I'm gonna say it makes you look huge.
Thank you.
Thank you, and you know what? That big bike actually makes you even smaller than you are, you hateful, tiny man.
Okay.
You got to show off like that? You guys know why I love the street glide? To me, it's that perfect mix of, like, a total touring bike plus a good street bike.
Like, what Tanner's on, you can't put a lot of miles on that.
That's like a stop-light-to-stop-light or a restaurant-to-restaurant bike.
I want something that I can put some miles on and just go.
I beg to differ.
It revs at 9,000 rpm, and the engine was designed by Porsche.
This thing is pretty comfortable, especially considering what we've spent some time in here.
I'll be honest with you, fellas.
I have never ridden a motorcycle before, but this is great.
It's almost like meditating when you get into it.
Now, why didn't you ever ride a motorcycle before? It just wasn't appealing? My father actually went down on one and kind of forbid me from ever being on one.
I think it's this feeling right here is what they're all addicted to.
It's this, like, freedom.
You can go so fast on a motorcycle.
You can drive anywhere in the Lane.
You can just use all the ribbon in the highway in the country.
And then it just comes out in an attitude.
So it turns into, like, naked chaps and boobs hanging out with tattoos everywhere.
But that's just a manifestation of this feeling of freedom.
So in other words, the feeling you get riding your motorcycle makes you want to wear assless chaps and flop your breasts out? Yes.
We were closing in on Sturgis and our final challenge.
Gentlemen, I'm gonna pull over.
This is amazing.
Wow.
Look at that.
Oh, yeah.
Welcome to Sturgis, guys.
Holy Below us was the biggest concentration of leather, chrome, and Harleys in the world, and not a yamaha in sight.
How many people are down there, rut? They say it can swell, like, 600,000 people just from this.
I mean, look how many people there are just from up here.
We are inappropriately dressed.
Yeah.
I mean, we Look like dorks? Yeah.
This is not what people look like here.
May I suggest we make a stop before we go down there? And just a few miles away, we found the perfect place.
Yep.
Absolutely.
Coming up, we make our way into Sturgis.
And rut commits a cardinal sin.
Oh sh oh! Oh We were in South Dakota for Sturgis bike week.
We had all started out on scooters.
But after two challenges, rut and I had earned Harleys, while Adam was stuck on a much smaller yamaha.
After getting a glimpse of the Sturgis dress code, we'd decided to try and blend in.
Yep.
Absolutely.
Let's do it.
Let's ride.
I was born to wear this.
These pants do not ventilate.
What's that? Don't do that in that outfit.
If you move the wrong way, you'll make it rain.
What is your Indian name, anyway? Breaking wind.
What's so fancy about your outfit? Oh, I don't know.
Oh, you got an eagle on the back.
With an American flag? Are you kidding me? - Wow.
- Live to ride, baby.
- Score.
- I love that.
Feeling confident in our gear, we were ready for our next challenge.
We had to pick up a band and transport them to their gig at the world famous buffalo chip.
First one there safely would win.
I'll tell you what, fellas.
You guys go ahead.
I'm gonna catch up with you.
Cool with me, man.
All right? Cool with me.
Do you feel like you have to, like, do a Every time you move around? No, I don't feel like that.
You hear this guy? We headed off to meet up with the band.
Once we picked them up, we'd have 15 minutes to get them safely across town to their gig.
Be good, fellas.
Oh, my God.
Your tassels are awesome.
Do they look good? They're awesome.
Look at those things.
I mean, I feel like I could dress like this all the time.
Hey, Tanner, I think this is it right here on the right.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is it.
All right.
I'm pulling in.
We can't carry all three of them ourselves.
I would assume that Adam will eventually show up like he always does.
Oh, good lord.
You got a sidecar.
Yeah.
- Wow.
- How great is that? You know, you still can crash it.
Yeah.
I cut the odds a little bit.
- Wow.
- Let's hope so.
Hey, fellas.
Can I help you? Yeah.
We're here to pick up sweet cyanide.
With a name like sweet cyanide, we didn't know what to expect.
Turned out the bass player had bigger concerns than riding in a sidecar.
- Look at what I have for you.
- All right.
Your own private car.
This thing's gonna mess up my hair.
You're gonna be fine.
Don't you worry.
I got a show tonight.
You take that off before we get there.
I'll hit the gas.
It'll blow your hair nice and straight, and you'll be ready for showtime.
My passenger would arrive with his dignity and hair intact, and I'd be sure to win the challenge, while rut and Tanner's passengers would be forced to ride bitch.
I'm good when you are.
This might be the lowest moment of my career.
Come on.
See? It's not so bad, right? Look how comfy you are.
Could you ride like that all day or what? No.
Should be plenty of room back there, Rory.
Like a glove.
You guys look cool.
All right.
15 minutes.
Let's do it.
Hold on.
No problem, right? Let's go.
Let's go.
We almost just crashed already.
Holy And we are on the road.
Okay.
See that jeep? Don't hit that jeep.
Not gonna hit that jeep.
As we set off for the venue, Tanner was distracted again by how dirty his bike was.
Hey, you ever been to one of these bike washes? On occasion.
You know, but we're in a pretty big hurry here.
We got to get to the show.
Okay.
I mean, they're pretty quick, too.
It'd be like two minutes.
If we got two minutes to spare, we could just stop in there real quick.
Hey, I always got time for boobies.
Fair enough.
I'm glad we're on the same page on that one.
But no amount of bikinis could hide the flaw in rut and Tanner's plan.
You don't see a lot of guys riding with other guys on a bike up here, do you? No.
No.
No.
We're pretty much doing what's the cardinal rule.
We're breaking it.
For me, everything was running smoothly.
Great ride, isn't it, ange? What? You comfortable? Huh? I can't hear you.
I can't hear a word this guy's saying.
To get the band to the buffalo chip on time, we were going to have to brave the extreme congestion of Sturgis.
But traffic wasn't our only problem.
Whoa.
Whoa.
So what? You all right? You all right? Rutledge just set it down.
Look at that.
One, two, three.
All right.
Sorry, brother.
They're not really good riders, these guys, are they? - No.
- Okay.
Keep it moving, guys.
Keep it moving.
Oh, look at the traffic, man.
All right.
I got an idea.
- Yeah? - Let's go this way.
We'll see you guys there.
To ensure victory, I took a shortcut to make sure I got my passenger to the chip first.
Man, this place is packed.
This is, like, the worst way to go right through the middle of it.
300,000 bikes.
We are never gonna make it.
Luckily, Tanner was also running into some obstacles.
Oh, here's the bike wash.
When did you need to be there? Get a little closer and I'll tell you.
Oh, we got time.
- All right.
- We got time.
Just a little bit of a scrub-down.
Let's do this.
Oh, here we go again.
You guys are doing great.
We're gonna be really late, guys.
I'll tell you right now.
We'd almost made it across town, but the stress of riding two men up was taking its toll on my passenger.
- Hey, man.
- Yeah.
Can you pull over for a second? I got to get a water and some cigarettes.
Go for it.
- All right, brother.
Thank you.
I'm gonna park right here.
We'll be fine.
This is crazy.
Oh sh oh! Oh We were at the Sturgis bike week, on a mission to find out which of us was the best on two wheels.
Only rut and I had made it onto Harleys, and our final challenge was to transport the band sweet cyanide to their show at the buffalo chip.
But rut had just violated the biggest law in bike week.
Oh sh oh! Oh Oh, no! You dropped your bike.
No, I got it.
No, it's, uh, it's, uh I got it.
Oh, I broke the seat.
Oh.
Sorry.
Sorry.
We got to go.
Come on.
Come on.
Oh, we are gonna get beat up.
Derek, let's go, brother.
Did you get what you need? Yeah, man.
Great.
Great.
Okay.
Had a little situation.
Everything's cool, though.
You holding on? Yeah.
I'm ready.
All right.
Let's roll.
What did you do? Oh, nothing.
Nothing.
No, everything's cool.
Let's just, uh, let's just get out of here rapidly.
With just five minutes until sound check, there wasn't a moment to lose.
Ange.
There's the chip.
We're almost there.
Looks like we actually might make it.
We're gonna make it.
Don't you worry, angelo.
Come on, come on, come on.
What happens if we miss sound check? Are you screwed? I'm in big trouble, man.
I can't even tell you.
I'm never late, so I don't know.
I've never been late before.
- We made it, ange.
- We're here.
Just be glad you didn't get in Adam's sidecar.
I heard that! They're giving us a welcome.
Yeah.
Now we're talking.
Yeah.
- Awesome, man.
- We made it.
- We made it.
But we are late, brother.
We got to go.
Just in time, right? Hey, thanks, brother.
Appreciate the ride.
Thank you so much, but we're late.
- Have a good show.
- Thanks.
Let's go.
Well, we're here.
Pretty good dudes, huh? I like them.
I wish we could stay for the show.
So much for 15 minutes, though.
Yeah.
There was a lot of traffic.
- Where did rut go? - I don't know.
We lost him in the middle of town.
He's just a vagabond wanderer in that jacket.
Once he gets a jacket on, he's, like, nomadic.
He just keeps wandering.
There he is.
Oh, my God.
He's gonna lay down.
Hey, we made it.
Oh, finally.
Pretty crazy ride.
I appreciate it.
Yeah.
Sorry we're late.
All right.
No problem.
Take care.
You got it.
This is the most I've ever rode a motorcycle, and I had no idea it was that demanding.
But when you get it right, it's really fun.
Well, I mean, we know this.
You obviously lost, and I guess you won.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
How do you figure I lost? I didn't spill the punch.
You can't just swap out for a sidecar just so you don't have to put your foot down.
You were supposed to be on that 250.
You cheated.
You lose.
I didn't flip off a scooter.
How did I lose? We eventually convinced Adam that he'd lost and would have to face the consequences.
Since I had won, I got to check out a bike that was about as far from an armchair Harley as you could get.
The attack performance racing team's motogp bike.
1,000ccs.
Zero to 60 in 2.
9 seconds.
235 horsepower.
Weighs in at a featherweight 352 pounds.
It accelerates like a cheetah on fire with a top speed in excess of 200 miles an hour.
Safe to say It's blisteringly quick.
If you don't know what motogp is, well, pay attention.
It's pretty much the pinnacle of road racing on two wheels.
And with over 100 rider deaths in its history, it's not for the timid.
It's the best riders in the world competing on a global scale.
Think formula one but with bikes.
So attack performance out of huntington beach, California, decided to throw their hat in the ring and has just qualified to run the whole series.
Now, if that wasn't enough, knowing that I'm a car guy, not necessarily a bike guy, they challenged me to a race, and they allowed me to pick any production car I could find.
The race would be held on a 2 1/2-mile course with tight turns that would favor the car and long straightaways that would favor the bike.
So my seemingly wide choice of any production car quickly narrowed.
The bugatti veyron is fast, but really only in a straight line.
The zr1 just wouldn't make the grip needed.
And even the power-to-weight ratio of the lightning-fast mclaren mp4 just wouldn't stack up.
Soon it became obvious that what I really needed was less of a car and more of a racecar that just happened to be street legal.
And this little rocket ship from england could be my only hope.
Meet the third-generation Ariel atom.
It's basically a track car that's entirely street legal.
Zero to 60 in under three seconds, top speed of 155 miles an hour, and 300 horsepower with a weight of 1,350 pounds.
That's a power-to-weight ratio that outguns such illustrious names as the aventador and enzo.
Good God! It's freakin' quick! This car turns every single ribbon of road into an outright race track.
You don't even got to think about going through the corner, and the car just makes its way there.
It really is so much more of a racecar than a street car.
It's ridiculous.
But are they fast enough to beat a motorcycle? The time for talking was over.
Riding for the attack team would be Steve rapp, a California native, former power ranger, and one of the most experienced riders in the country.
- How you doing, Steve? - Good.
Good to see you, man.
Thanks for coming.
How's the bike running these days? Bike's running good.
It just came back from a motogp race at indy, and it's running fast.
Zero to 60 is like even for both of them 2.
9 seconds.
Zero to 60, I think the bike's harder to launch, but zero to 100, I think that's where the bike's gonna shine.
The course would pit the atom's quick handling in the turns against the bike's raw acceleration on the straightaways.
We'd start the race in pit Lane.
The race would take us through a chicane followed by a couple hairpin turns and a straightaway.
After that were a few more turns, and then it was back to the banked straight.
We'd run two laps.
All right, Steve.
In three TwoOne.
Go! Coming up Adam pays the price for losing.
Cool.
So we're gonna do a car explosion.
We're gonna blow you up.
Is that okay? Goodbye.
Hey.
Wait a second.
Wait.
We were in South Dakota at Sturgis bike week.
I'd won the motorcycle challenge, which meant that I'd got to race a third-generation Ariel atom against one of the fastest bikes in the world.
I got him on the start! I had him beat zero to 60.
But if I was gonna stay in the lead, I'd have to block him in the turns.
With four wide tires to fight the laws of physics, I had an advantage through the corners, while Steve seemed to be barely touching the track.
Holy crap! That thing is so fast! I'd just beat Steve through the first hairpin turn.
I could feel him behind me, just waiting for the perfect moment to strike.
I'm going as fast as I can! I don't know if I have anything for him.
He's pushing me pretty hard.
Okay.
Here's the other hairpin.
Halfway through the first lap, on the infield straightaway, Steve made his move.
There he is right there.
Lucky for me, he ran out of real estate before the next turn.
This was my chance.
To have any hope of winning, I had to gain as much ground as possible through the back turns before we hit the dreaded banked straightaway.
Got him in the turn.
Good lord! He's gone.
What the hell? I'm doing 140 miles an hour, and he just left me.
That's when I realized I was just a little mouse being toyed with by the fastest cat on earth.
I think I see him talking on his cellphone.
That's just not even funny.
Oh, man.
Look at him bouncing through that turn.
I'm pushing as hard as I can.
I'm fighting to push the power down.
I'm locking up brakes.
I'm working.
Then Steve hit the straightaway.
That is so awesome, though.
Okay.
So I'm getting myKicked.
That's fine.
But watching that thing accelerate away from me is unbelievable.
Okay.
So I bit off a little bit more than I could chew racing a motogp bike with a car.
Go figure.
But the best thing about the Ariel atom for most of us that aren't gonna take it on the track very often is that it's basically like riding a motorcycle with a roll cage.
If you're one of the millions of guys out there whose significant other or just plain common sense won't let you ride up the canyon on a two-wheel beast, well, this is the next best thing.
As much as I'd enjoyed the Ariel atom I couldn't wait to get back and see Adam's punishment.
We'd invited one of the guys from history's newest series, "American daredevils," to teach him a much-needed lesson in safety.
- How you doing? - How are you? Cool.
So we're gonna do a car explosion.
We're gonna blow you up.
Is that okay? Goodbye.
Hey.
Wait a second.
Wait.
- You lost.
- I didn't lose! It's a Volvo.
It's safe.
One of the safest cars on the road.
Driver's-side airbag.
This is the turbo, so it's intercooled, which is nice keep it cool.
Oh.
See, I was afraid of the fire.
But now that I have an intercooler, should be fine.
I could use short sleeves.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Good luck with that.
I'd need more than luck to survive, so I suited up and got some last-minute advice.
I was gonna ask you, diz how long you been doing this stuff? Long time.
Quite a few years.
At least the blow-ups, about 10, 11 years just for the car explosions.
All right.
I got to be honest with you.
Mr.
dizzy is not a name that inspires confidence.
Why not? Never mind.
What am I really in for here? Well, here's your helmet.
It's got your head sock.
It's got your gloves.
You got to remember now, this is a stunt that people die doing this if you're not careful.
You can get burned.
The tires can blow out, which creates an explosion.
The door might not open because of the concussion.
Make sure you don't breathe any of that superheated air once you get out.
It'll fry your lungs.
Any questions? Let me just ask, guy to guy how much you get for a stunt like this? Quite a lot.
It's really dangerous.
Yeah.
Hey, if this was easy, anybody could do it.
That's right, man.
This is very expensive to do.
You know what? That's pretty good right there.
You know I'm not gonna be able to hit that.
I don't want to hit it.
Adam, you look different.
Are you wearing two suits? Is that, like, double protection? Yeah.
Safety first, my friend.
Are you ready for this? I was born ready.
I'm not pushing it.
I don't feel good about I'm not pushing it.
Okay, Adam.
Any last words? Yeah.
I do have one last word.
I really didn't lose.
Okay.
Now I want to push the button.
All right, guys.
Let's get it over with.
- Here.
Take it.
- No, you take it.
- Take it.
- I don't want it! - You take it.
- I'm not doing it.
- It's yours! - I'm not doing it! - Don't give it back! - It's yours! Take it! - Oh! - Oh! Oh, that is so hot! Holy cow.
Look at him.
He's totally fine.
He's okay.
He's on fire, though.
I can't believe he did it.
I can't believe you hit the button.
I didn't hit the button.
You are the one that dropped it.
You rat bastards.
Oh, come on.
You could've killed me.
That was Mr.
dizzy? Hell yes! - He did it.
- What? It was an accident.
I will say Rutledge was more concerned about blowing the car up than you.
I hate the both of you.
If Mr.
dizzy did that for 35 bucks, I can't imagine what those guys will do at the show.
Whoever does best gets to take on the fastest bike in the world, while the loser pays a heavy price.
Sturgis, South Dakota.
51 weeks out of the year, it's just another small town on America's great plains.
But in early August, it transforms Into the home of the biggest motorcycle rally on the planet, where the world's toughest bikers come to show off their rides.
"Top Gear" sent us here on a mission to see which one of us was the best on two wheels.
Wow.
How awesome is this? This is bucket list for me right now.
This is Harley Woodstock.
This was it.
Time to mount up and show Sturgis that we could hang with the toughest bikers on the planet.
So what rides did we have waiting for us? All right.
Here you guys go.
Here's your three bikes right here.
- These? - Yeah.
- No, no, no.
- Scooters? - There's a mistake.
- No.
Have a good ride, guys.
Thanks.
I guess.
So - You can't go to Sturgis - Not on a scooter.
Rolling through Sturgis looking like pizza-delivery boys was likely to get us killed.
Who ordered these? I mean, I said we wanted Harleys.
That's what I Then how did we end up with piaggio? We got hosed again.
But these scooters were just the beginning.
To determine who was the best rider, we'd compete in challenges.
Win a challenge, and we'd get a chance to upgrade to a better bike.
Really? You know, maybe there's some logic here.
A lot of motorcycle gangs have, like, crazy initiations.
Maybe this is ours.
This? Why can't we just rob something? At the first Sturgis bike rally in 1938, only nine riders showed up.
But this year's 75th anniversary brought over 500,000 bikers from all over the world, and almost every single one of them was on a Harley.
This wasn't the place to be seen on a scooter.
So as we headed to our first challenge 15 miles away, our only chance for survival was to keep a low profile.
Whatever you do, don't hit the horn.
Hey, how's it going? Nice hog.
You guys, this is why you're gonna get beat up.
Right here.
Oh, Adam.
It didn't help that these bikes topped out at only 39 miles per hour, which made us moving road hazards.
This thing is so slow, it's unbelievable.
Oh, we're getting passed by a dump truck with a trailer.
Oh, my God.
We're dead.
Riding motorcycles is not for everyone.
It is really, really dangerous.
I mean, it's for real, and it's really hard, 'cause no one pays attention anymore.
People are sitting there texting.
They're changing songs on their iPod.
They're not looking at the road.
And adding someone like Adam, who's never ridden a bike before, makes things really dangerous.
Hello.
Oh! Dude! Left side! "Hello" doesn't work.
I can't believe that Adam even passed the test to get a motorcycle license.
He's not very good on four wheels.
Why would you want to take two of them away? And he didn't even flip us the bird.
What a nice guy.
He figured we got enough problems.
What's up, guys? Hey, just riding to Sturgis with y'all.
Did you see the look of disgust on their face? That was amazing.
The only thing worse than the embarrassment of being seen riding these scooters was actually riding them.
The difference between riding a motorcycle and a scooter is that on a motorcycle, one it's, like, balanced.
It's got the gyroscopic effect of the wheels, so it actually feels stable.
Scooter, no.
Anytime you wiggle the wheel, sneeze, you get a speed wobble, it could just put you on the ground.
Two there's the slope of the seat.
What it does is it grabs the seam of your jeans just grabs it and then yanks it up.
You constantly see people pulling their jeans down on scooters.
That's because they are riding high and dirty.
Where are you from originally? - From California.
- Are you? Apparently, Tanner's scooter had gotten very dirty in 20 minutes.
He's gonna stop at every one of these.
We're never gonna make Sturgis.
"Yeah.
Oh, hi.
I'm a rally-car driver.
" "My hog's getting some repair work done.
This is a loaner.
" It's a lot smaller than we've been washing.
Oh.
Uh, it I mean After tiny dancer's bath, we continued on to our first challenge, a few miles away.
Jump it! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Even as dorky as these things are, man, it is so nice to just hit the road.
That's what I love about riding a motorcycle.
Because there's no distractions.
There's no cellphones, there's no e-mails.
It's just you and the road.
Wherever it takes you.
Thankfully, we had arrived at our first challenge, and it was a chance to upgrade our bikes.
These were yamaha v star 250s.
They may not have been Harleys, but with a top speed of 85 miles per hour, they were a vast improvement over the scooters.
All right.
Well, there's a couple bikes.
That's good news.
Only a couple, though.
Yeah.
You know what this is? Three men enter.
Two men leave.
One of us is still stuck with a scooter? I mean, he's talking to you.
You know that means you.
"To see which of you has the best riding position, "you'll complete a slalom course with a bowl of fruit punch secured on the top of your helmet.
" That explains that.
"The two with the most fruit punch left will upgrade to motorcycles.
" This isn't fair.
Look at that.
No.
You're right.
It's not.
The stability of the foundation.
Yeah.
You guys make fun of it now.
You wish you had a head this big.
You're gonna be on a scooter at Sturgis.
- Really? - Adam.
You're up first.
Thank you.
You need to keep your head right about that level there.
Okay.
Go.
"Okay.
Go"? What do you mean, "okay.
Go"? I just you just oh, there's a bee and fruit juice.
Yeah.
He's gonna chase you around.
Oh, man! This stuff is heavy! Full throttle! - Oh.
- Come on.
Oh, boy.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh! Oh! It's cold! It's cold! Aah! Put your feet in there! Ride a scooter like a man! Oh, boy.
This ain't good.
Oh! Aah! Easy! How is that possible? Hey.
Aw What an idiot.
Juice me.
Let's see what's in here.
Bow to the master.
You have to yeah.
Just come on down.
Just a little lower.
Just out of respect.
There it is.
Okay.
And bow.
Thank you.
Keep coming.
All righty.
Little bit further.
Thank you.
Okay.
How much did he lose? You had two quarts.
You got one left.
Great.
It's not good.
You see the glass as half empty.
I see it as half full.
Just go.
Just don't listen to that.
Okay.
I'm ready.
Let's do it.
Just remember you're Tanner faust.
You can't be seen on a scooter at Sturgis.
Right? No pressure.
Great.
I'm just gonna take it nice and easy through the whole track.
No time component.
No reason to rush.
No hurry here.
Hit it.
Just gonna take my time.
- No time penalty, right? - There you go.
Watch this launch.
Nice and easy.
There he goes.
Nice.
Oh, you know what? Give me a break.
It's a race.
You got to go fast.
Oh, yeah! Yeah! What?! Oh! It's cold! It's cold! It's cold! It's cold! Oh, God, no! What is happening? Oh, right on the crotch! You guys suck! You suck! I'm gonna kill you! You're gonna look really cool riding this the whole time at Sturgis.
If there's something left, then I got a chance.
Okay.
Ladies, can we focus, please? This is serious stuff.
All right.
Come on.
This is awkward.
This is very awkward.
What?! I'm thinking half a juice box.
What do you think? Two ounces, tops.
Two ounces, tops.
It's a stupid game anyway.
I know.
I know.
There's no clock in it.
I was like twice as fast.
Drive away.
Take your helmet off.
I can't wait to ride that motorcycle.
Oh, my God.
If he doesn't lose every drop, I'm gonna shoot myself.
All right.
I'm ready to lose this scooter.
Let's do it.
Coming up I get a real motorcycle.
This is great.
But with three challenges to finish, which one of us will be forced to suffer the ultimate punishment? You got to remember, now, this is a stunt that people die doing this if you're not careful.
- What? - I'm sorry.
What? "Top Gear" had us in South Dakota for Sturgis bike week.
Embarrassingly, we all had to start out on scooters.
Each challenge gave us a chance to upgrade to a bike less likely to get us attacked.
Oh! Oh, it's cold! I had beaten Tanner.
So it all came down to whether rut could make it around the track without spilling all the punch.
And three, two, one.
Good till the last drop! Okay.
Oh, wow.
I got to keep the shoulders oh, this is no problem.
I got this.
Oh, oh.
That is heavy.
Oh, boy.
Eas oh.
Ooh.
Ooh.
I've run over my foot.
Didn't expect that.
Okay.
Now I got it.
Now I'm in a rhythm! No.
I got it.
Oh.
Okay.
Oh! - Oh! - Oh! Yes! Pick that thing up so you can live on it for the next three days.
Wait.
Let's measure.
Stay right there.
We're coming.
Why are you bringing that? We just want to keep it official and fair here.
Let's go ahead and get ooh.
There's a little bit.
- Did you get it? Nothing.
Motorcycle-bound.
This just feels so wrong.
So wrong.
Uh-oh.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, daddy.
You ready to ride? Let's go.
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Okay.
Okay.
Whoo-hoo-hoo! See ya.
You guys suck! So with the world's largest pizza-delivery boy in tow, we headed to our next challenge, 20 miles away.
They may not be fast, but they sure are shiny.
Yeah.
Wait a minute.
I got to shift.
There you go.
Rut, did you shift? Oh, I'm sorry.
I have one gear.
No shift? Yeah.
No shift.
Real funny.
Are you guys gonna wait for me at all, or what's the deal here? Are you seriously not keeping up with us? What's the matter? This is as fast as it goes! Come on, rut.
You can catch up.
Come on.
Hey, Adam, we could cut our trip in, like, half if we just hop on the highway, you know.
I like your thinking.
Rut, you know how to get there on surface streets? You guys aren't gonna leave me, are you? See you later, bro.
Be careful on that scooter, fruit punch.
Wow.
Look to your right, my friend.
Rolling hills.
Now we're kind of experiencing the land, yeah? Yeah, a little bit.
All right, Tanner.
These are they're an upgrade, no doubt, you know.
But we're still, like, not out of the woods of getting beaten to death at Sturgis on these things.
You know that.
For sure.
It's not so bad, really.
See the chicks in the car behind me? They're digging me.
Hey.
How you doing? See? See? They like a dude on a scooter.
What am I talking about? This is awful.
This is degrading.
It's demeaning.
I ride motorcycles.
I own two motorcycles, and I'm on a scooter at Sturgis.
This is just wrong.
But when I pulled into the next challenge, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel.
Win, and I'd get one of these.
A $15,000 v-rod muscle with a 1,250cc liquid-cooled engine, and my favorite Harley of them all, the 20-grand, 1,600cc twin-cam street glide.
- Oh! - Yeah! - There it is.
- That's what I'm talking about.
- V-rod.
- Finally, some Harleys for Sturgis.
Street glide.
It's even flat black.
I mean, it's calling me.
All right.
"Being able to handle your ride at any speed "is the key to being safe as a motorcycle rider.
"And sometimes slower is harder.
"To see which of you has the most control, "you'll now compete in a three-wide drag race where the last to cross the finish line wins.
" Seriously? A slow race? Did you write this? I don't like to go slowly, for the record.
I mean, right now I don't really have a choice.
I'm on a scooter, which, oddly, is going to help me land my dream bike.
We had to do just one lap of the deadwood go-kart track, and to have any chance of surviving at Sturgis, this was a challenge I couldn't afford to lose.
Here's the thing.
Rut has the clear advantage.
No gears.
A light bike.
I use the word "bike," but you know I mean scooter.
And he likes to go slow, so this is made for him.
Tanner, on the other hand I'm counting he snaps.
Just snaps and says, "I can't go this slow," and just takes off, in which case, I'll slide right in, finish, and get a Harley.
All right, guys.
This is it.
First person to finish loses.
I don't know why you're doing that.
You're not gonna need that throttle.
I'm ready to go, fellas.
Okay.
You want to stop? Ready.
Set.
Go! All right.
Here it goes.
Are you guys gonna you go! - Go! - Go! Go! All right.
Go.
Oh, yeah.
Look at me.
That's it.
Oh! Foot down! Foot down for Adam! All right! All right! I'm still going.
Oh, you tried to cut me off, huh? You jerk.
Not gonna work.
Look at my balance wow.
I am graceful right now.
Got a little throttle, a little brake.
Oh! Foot down.
Oh, Adam's foot is down again.
Hey, Tanner, you're going kind of fast.
Why don't you slow down? You can't do it! Finally we've found something you're terrible at.
Did you put your foot down? Rut has been oh, I just caught him! What are you talking about?! Rut has had his foot down the whole time! That is not true.
Rut is cheating like crazy back there.
Not true.
Not true.
As the light faded, Adam could control himself no more Oh, come on.
Come on.
No! No! No! And crossed the line first.
Yes! It's over! Oh.
It's all over! Oh, finally I can get rid of this scooter! Whoo! That was the dumbest idea they've ever come up with.
It served its purpose.
What? To prove that you're a pain in the "You put your foot down.
You put your foot down.
" Which one do you want? I'm all over the v-rod.
Done.
I want the street glide.
Really? Yeah.
Oh, my gosh.
Look at the size of this thing.
You know street glide, a man's bike.
Yeah.
But you can ride it, too.
You hear that? You hear that? You know what? I like it.
You know why I like this? Anyone can ride to Sturgis on a Harley.
Can you hear him? I can't hear you! Can you see me? Can you see that? Let's roll.
Now we're talking.
Okay.
There you go.
Oh, she's a big girl.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, there it is.
Oh, good.
And I thought this was gonna suck.
The next morning, we headed for Sturgis and our final challenge, with at least two of us looking forward to our triumphant entrance.
For the record dumbest challenge I think we've ever done, and I ended up on this.
It sounds like it's just dumb because you didn't win.
It looks pretty good on you, Adam.
I'm gonna say it makes you look huge.
Thank you.
Thank you, and you know what? That big bike actually makes you even smaller than you are, you hateful, tiny man.
Okay.
You got to show off like that? You guys know why I love the street glide? To me, it's that perfect mix of, like, a total touring bike plus a good street bike.
Like, what Tanner's on, you can't put a lot of miles on that.
That's like a stop-light-to-stop-light or a restaurant-to-restaurant bike.
I want something that I can put some miles on and just go.
I beg to differ.
It revs at 9,000 rpm, and the engine was designed by Porsche.
This thing is pretty comfortable, especially considering what we've spent some time in here.
I'll be honest with you, fellas.
I have never ridden a motorcycle before, but this is great.
It's almost like meditating when you get into it.
Now, why didn't you ever ride a motorcycle before? It just wasn't appealing? My father actually went down on one and kind of forbid me from ever being on one.
I think it's this feeling right here is what they're all addicted to.
It's this, like, freedom.
You can go so fast on a motorcycle.
You can drive anywhere in the Lane.
You can just use all the ribbon in the highway in the country.
And then it just comes out in an attitude.
So it turns into, like, naked chaps and boobs hanging out with tattoos everywhere.
But that's just a manifestation of this feeling of freedom.
So in other words, the feeling you get riding your motorcycle makes you want to wear assless chaps and flop your breasts out? Yes.
We were closing in on Sturgis and our final challenge.
Gentlemen, I'm gonna pull over.
This is amazing.
Wow.
Look at that.
Oh, yeah.
Welcome to Sturgis, guys.
Holy Below us was the biggest concentration of leather, chrome, and Harleys in the world, and not a yamaha in sight.
How many people are down there, rut? They say it can swell, like, 600,000 people just from this.
I mean, look how many people there are just from up here.
We are inappropriately dressed.
Yeah.
I mean, we Look like dorks? Yeah.
This is not what people look like here.
May I suggest we make a stop before we go down there? And just a few miles away, we found the perfect place.
Yep.
Absolutely.
Coming up, we make our way into Sturgis.
And rut commits a cardinal sin.
Oh sh oh! Oh We were in South Dakota for Sturgis bike week.
We had all started out on scooters.
But after two challenges, rut and I had earned Harleys, while Adam was stuck on a much smaller yamaha.
After getting a glimpse of the Sturgis dress code, we'd decided to try and blend in.
Yep.
Absolutely.
Let's do it.
Let's ride.
I was born to wear this.
These pants do not ventilate.
What's that? Don't do that in that outfit.
If you move the wrong way, you'll make it rain.
What is your Indian name, anyway? Breaking wind.
What's so fancy about your outfit? Oh, I don't know.
Oh, you got an eagle on the back.
With an American flag? Are you kidding me? - Wow.
- Live to ride, baby.
- Score.
- I love that.
Feeling confident in our gear, we were ready for our next challenge.
We had to pick up a band and transport them to their gig at the world famous buffalo chip.
First one there safely would win.
I'll tell you what, fellas.
You guys go ahead.
I'm gonna catch up with you.
Cool with me, man.
All right? Cool with me.
Do you feel like you have to, like, do a Every time you move around? No, I don't feel like that.
You hear this guy? We headed off to meet up with the band.
Once we picked them up, we'd have 15 minutes to get them safely across town to their gig.
Be good, fellas.
Oh, my God.
Your tassels are awesome.
Do they look good? They're awesome.
Look at those things.
I mean, I feel like I could dress like this all the time.
Hey, Tanner, I think this is it right here on the right.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is it.
All right.
I'm pulling in.
We can't carry all three of them ourselves.
I would assume that Adam will eventually show up like he always does.
Oh, good lord.
You got a sidecar.
Yeah.
- Wow.
- How great is that? You know, you still can crash it.
Yeah.
I cut the odds a little bit.
- Wow.
- Let's hope so.
Hey, fellas.
Can I help you? Yeah.
We're here to pick up sweet cyanide.
With a name like sweet cyanide, we didn't know what to expect.
Turned out the bass player had bigger concerns than riding in a sidecar.
- Look at what I have for you.
- All right.
Your own private car.
This thing's gonna mess up my hair.
You're gonna be fine.
Don't you worry.
I got a show tonight.
You take that off before we get there.
I'll hit the gas.
It'll blow your hair nice and straight, and you'll be ready for showtime.
My passenger would arrive with his dignity and hair intact, and I'd be sure to win the challenge, while rut and Tanner's passengers would be forced to ride bitch.
I'm good when you are.
This might be the lowest moment of my career.
Come on.
See? It's not so bad, right? Look how comfy you are.
Could you ride like that all day or what? No.
Should be plenty of room back there, Rory.
Like a glove.
You guys look cool.
All right.
15 minutes.
Let's do it.
Hold on.
No problem, right? Let's go.
Let's go.
We almost just crashed already.
Holy And we are on the road.
Okay.
See that jeep? Don't hit that jeep.
Not gonna hit that jeep.
As we set off for the venue, Tanner was distracted again by how dirty his bike was.
Hey, you ever been to one of these bike washes? On occasion.
You know, but we're in a pretty big hurry here.
We got to get to the show.
Okay.
I mean, they're pretty quick, too.
It'd be like two minutes.
If we got two minutes to spare, we could just stop in there real quick.
Hey, I always got time for boobies.
Fair enough.
I'm glad we're on the same page on that one.
But no amount of bikinis could hide the flaw in rut and Tanner's plan.
You don't see a lot of guys riding with other guys on a bike up here, do you? No.
No.
No.
We're pretty much doing what's the cardinal rule.
We're breaking it.
For me, everything was running smoothly.
Great ride, isn't it, ange? What? You comfortable? Huh? I can't hear you.
I can't hear a word this guy's saying.
To get the band to the buffalo chip on time, we were going to have to brave the extreme congestion of Sturgis.
But traffic wasn't our only problem.
Whoa.
Whoa.
So what? You all right? You all right? Rutledge just set it down.
Look at that.
One, two, three.
All right.
Sorry, brother.
They're not really good riders, these guys, are they? - No.
- Okay.
Keep it moving, guys.
Keep it moving.
Oh, look at the traffic, man.
All right.
I got an idea.
- Yeah? - Let's go this way.
We'll see you guys there.
To ensure victory, I took a shortcut to make sure I got my passenger to the chip first.
Man, this place is packed.
This is, like, the worst way to go right through the middle of it.
300,000 bikes.
We are never gonna make it.
Luckily, Tanner was also running into some obstacles.
Oh, here's the bike wash.
When did you need to be there? Get a little closer and I'll tell you.
Oh, we got time.
- All right.
- We got time.
Just a little bit of a scrub-down.
Let's do this.
Oh, here we go again.
You guys are doing great.
We're gonna be really late, guys.
I'll tell you right now.
We'd almost made it across town, but the stress of riding two men up was taking its toll on my passenger.
- Hey, man.
- Yeah.
Can you pull over for a second? I got to get a water and some cigarettes.
Go for it.
- All right, brother.
Thank you.
I'm gonna park right here.
We'll be fine.
This is crazy.
Oh sh oh! Oh We were at the Sturgis bike week, on a mission to find out which of us was the best on two wheels.
Only rut and I had made it onto Harleys, and our final challenge was to transport the band sweet cyanide to their show at the buffalo chip.
But rut had just violated the biggest law in bike week.
Oh sh oh! Oh Oh, no! You dropped your bike.
No, I got it.
No, it's, uh, it's, uh I got it.
Oh, I broke the seat.
Oh.
Sorry.
Sorry.
We got to go.
Come on.
Come on.
Oh, we are gonna get beat up.
Derek, let's go, brother.
Did you get what you need? Yeah, man.
Great.
Great.
Okay.
Had a little situation.
Everything's cool, though.
You holding on? Yeah.
I'm ready.
All right.
Let's roll.
What did you do? Oh, nothing.
Nothing.
No, everything's cool.
Let's just, uh, let's just get out of here rapidly.
With just five minutes until sound check, there wasn't a moment to lose.
Ange.
There's the chip.
We're almost there.
Looks like we actually might make it.
We're gonna make it.
Don't you worry, angelo.
Come on, come on, come on.
What happens if we miss sound check? Are you screwed? I'm in big trouble, man.
I can't even tell you.
I'm never late, so I don't know.
I've never been late before.
- We made it, ange.
- We're here.
Just be glad you didn't get in Adam's sidecar.
I heard that! They're giving us a welcome.
Yeah.
Now we're talking.
Yeah.
- Awesome, man.
- We made it.
- We made it.
But we are late, brother.
We got to go.
Just in time, right? Hey, thanks, brother.
Appreciate the ride.
Thank you so much, but we're late.
- Have a good show.
- Thanks.
Let's go.
Well, we're here.
Pretty good dudes, huh? I like them.
I wish we could stay for the show.
So much for 15 minutes, though.
Yeah.
There was a lot of traffic.
- Where did rut go? - I don't know.
We lost him in the middle of town.
He's just a vagabond wanderer in that jacket.
Once he gets a jacket on, he's, like, nomadic.
He just keeps wandering.
There he is.
Oh, my God.
He's gonna lay down.
Hey, we made it.
Oh, finally.
Pretty crazy ride.
I appreciate it.
Yeah.
Sorry we're late.
All right.
No problem.
Take care.
You got it.
This is the most I've ever rode a motorcycle, and I had no idea it was that demanding.
But when you get it right, it's really fun.
Well, I mean, we know this.
You obviously lost, and I guess you won.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
How do you figure I lost? I didn't spill the punch.
You can't just swap out for a sidecar just so you don't have to put your foot down.
You were supposed to be on that 250.
You cheated.
You lose.
I didn't flip off a scooter.
How did I lose? We eventually convinced Adam that he'd lost and would have to face the consequences.
Since I had won, I got to check out a bike that was about as far from an armchair Harley as you could get.
The attack performance racing team's motogp bike.
1,000ccs.
Zero to 60 in 2.
9 seconds.
235 horsepower.
Weighs in at a featherweight 352 pounds.
It accelerates like a cheetah on fire with a top speed in excess of 200 miles an hour.
Safe to say It's blisteringly quick.
If you don't know what motogp is, well, pay attention.
It's pretty much the pinnacle of road racing on two wheels.
And with over 100 rider deaths in its history, it's not for the timid.
It's the best riders in the world competing on a global scale.
Think formula one but with bikes.
So attack performance out of huntington beach, California, decided to throw their hat in the ring and has just qualified to run the whole series.
Now, if that wasn't enough, knowing that I'm a car guy, not necessarily a bike guy, they challenged me to a race, and they allowed me to pick any production car I could find.
The race would be held on a 2 1/2-mile course with tight turns that would favor the car and long straightaways that would favor the bike.
So my seemingly wide choice of any production car quickly narrowed.
The bugatti veyron is fast, but really only in a straight line.
The zr1 just wouldn't make the grip needed.
And even the power-to-weight ratio of the lightning-fast mclaren mp4 just wouldn't stack up.
Soon it became obvious that what I really needed was less of a car and more of a racecar that just happened to be street legal.
And this little rocket ship from england could be my only hope.
Meet the third-generation Ariel atom.
It's basically a track car that's entirely street legal.
Zero to 60 in under three seconds, top speed of 155 miles an hour, and 300 horsepower with a weight of 1,350 pounds.
That's a power-to-weight ratio that outguns such illustrious names as the aventador and enzo.
Good God! It's freakin' quick! This car turns every single ribbon of road into an outright race track.
You don't even got to think about going through the corner, and the car just makes its way there.
It really is so much more of a racecar than a street car.
It's ridiculous.
But are they fast enough to beat a motorcycle? The time for talking was over.
Riding for the attack team would be Steve rapp, a California native, former power ranger, and one of the most experienced riders in the country.
- How you doing, Steve? - Good.
Good to see you, man.
Thanks for coming.
How's the bike running these days? Bike's running good.
It just came back from a motogp race at indy, and it's running fast.
Zero to 60 is like even for both of them 2.
9 seconds.
Zero to 60, I think the bike's harder to launch, but zero to 100, I think that's where the bike's gonna shine.
The course would pit the atom's quick handling in the turns against the bike's raw acceleration on the straightaways.
We'd start the race in pit Lane.
The race would take us through a chicane followed by a couple hairpin turns and a straightaway.
After that were a few more turns, and then it was back to the banked straight.
We'd run two laps.
All right, Steve.
In three TwoOne.
Go! Coming up Adam pays the price for losing.
Cool.
So we're gonna do a car explosion.
We're gonna blow you up.
Is that okay? Goodbye.
Hey.
Wait a second.
Wait.
We were in South Dakota at Sturgis bike week.
I'd won the motorcycle challenge, which meant that I'd got to race a third-generation Ariel atom against one of the fastest bikes in the world.
I got him on the start! I had him beat zero to 60.
But if I was gonna stay in the lead, I'd have to block him in the turns.
With four wide tires to fight the laws of physics, I had an advantage through the corners, while Steve seemed to be barely touching the track.
Holy crap! That thing is so fast! I'd just beat Steve through the first hairpin turn.
I could feel him behind me, just waiting for the perfect moment to strike.
I'm going as fast as I can! I don't know if I have anything for him.
He's pushing me pretty hard.
Okay.
Here's the other hairpin.
Halfway through the first lap, on the infield straightaway, Steve made his move.
There he is right there.
Lucky for me, he ran out of real estate before the next turn.
This was my chance.
To have any hope of winning, I had to gain as much ground as possible through the back turns before we hit the dreaded banked straightaway.
Got him in the turn.
Good lord! He's gone.
What the hell? I'm doing 140 miles an hour, and he just left me.
That's when I realized I was just a little mouse being toyed with by the fastest cat on earth.
I think I see him talking on his cellphone.
That's just not even funny.
Oh, man.
Look at him bouncing through that turn.
I'm pushing as hard as I can.
I'm fighting to push the power down.
I'm locking up brakes.
I'm working.
Then Steve hit the straightaway.
That is so awesome, though.
Okay.
So I'm getting myKicked.
That's fine.
But watching that thing accelerate away from me is unbelievable.
Okay.
So I bit off a little bit more than I could chew racing a motogp bike with a car.
Go figure.
But the best thing about the Ariel atom for most of us that aren't gonna take it on the track very often is that it's basically like riding a motorcycle with a roll cage.
If you're one of the millions of guys out there whose significant other or just plain common sense won't let you ride up the canyon on a two-wheel beast, well, this is the next best thing.
As much as I'd enjoyed the Ariel atom I couldn't wait to get back and see Adam's punishment.
We'd invited one of the guys from history's newest series, "American daredevils," to teach him a much-needed lesson in safety.
- How you doing? - How are you? Cool.
So we're gonna do a car explosion.
We're gonna blow you up.
Is that okay? Goodbye.
Hey.
Wait a second.
Wait.
- You lost.
- I didn't lose! It's a Volvo.
It's safe.
One of the safest cars on the road.
Driver's-side airbag.
This is the turbo, so it's intercooled, which is nice keep it cool.
Oh.
See, I was afraid of the fire.
But now that I have an intercooler, should be fine.
I could use short sleeves.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Good luck with that.
I'd need more than luck to survive, so I suited up and got some last-minute advice.
I was gonna ask you, diz how long you been doing this stuff? Long time.
Quite a few years.
At least the blow-ups, about 10, 11 years just for the car explosions.
All right.
I got to be honest with you.
Mr.
dizzy is not a name that inspires confidence.
Why not? Never mind.
What am I really in for here? Well, here's your helmet.
It's got your head sock.
It's got your gloves.
You got to remember now, this is a stunt that people die doing this if you're not careful.
You can get burned.
The tires can blow out, which creates an explosion.
The door might not open because of the concussion.
Make sure you don't breathe any of that superheated air once you get out.
It'll fry your lungs.
Any questions? Let me just ask, guy to guy how much you get for a stunt like this? Quite a lot.
It's really dangerous.
Yeah.
Hey, if this was easy, anybody could do it.
That's right, man.
This is very expensive to do.
You know what? That's pretty good right there.
You know I'm not gonna be able to hit that.
I don't want to hit it.
Adam, you look different.
Are you wearing two suits? Is that, like, double protection? Yeah.
Safety first, my friend.
Are you ready for this? I was born ready.
I'm not pushing it.
I don't feel good about I'm not pushing it.
Okay, Adam.
Any last words? Yeah.
I do have one last word.
I really didn't lose.
Okay.
Now I want to push the button.
All right, guys.
Let's get it over with.
- Here.
Take it.
- No, you take it.
- Take it.
- I don't want it! - You take it.
- I'm not doing it.
- It's yours! - I'm not doing it! - Don't give it back! - It's yours! Take it! - Oh! - Oh! Oh, that is so hot! Holy cow.
Look at him.
He's totally fine.
He's okay.
He's on fire, though.
I can't believe he did it.
I can't believe you hit the button.
I didn't hit the button.
You are the one that dropped it.
You rat bastards.
Oh, come on.
You could've killed me.
That was Mr.
dizzy? Hell yes! - He did it.
- What? It was an accident.
I will say Rutledge was more concerned about blowing the car up than you.
I hate the both of you.
If Mr.
dizzy did that for 35 bucks, I can't imagine what those guys will do at the show.