Top Gear (US) s05e06 Episode Script
Cool Cars for Grownups
Ferrara: Now on "Top Gear" Wood: Oh, dear God! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! We head to Colorado to test responsible cars not so responsibly Holy [Bleep.]
As we make our way to a death-defying race up the world-famous Pikes Peak Don't look at the edge! Don't look at the edge! One of the highest and most dangerous roads in the country.
Oh, he's going off! When you were young, you wanted to drive a super car.
Practicality meant nothing.
Now you're all grown up.
Practicality is everything.
You have a family.
You have responsibilities.
You need to drive a big, slow, boring car, right? Or do you? "Top Gear" sent us to Denver, Colorado, to find out if a vehicle exists that has room to pick up the kids from lacrosse practice but is still blindingly fast and ridiculously fun.
We are here in Colorado to see if you can still recapture the joy you had in a vehicle when you were 21 years old, even though now you're a responsible adult.
Sort of.
So I chose the state-of-the-art, sublimely engineered German wagon.
This is an AMG Mercedes, which stands for "almighty God, is this is a fast wagon.
" Foust: Me, however, I'm a Porsche guy.
And I picked the Cayenne Turbo S because it drives like a sports car.
It handles and speeds like a super car.
And it's a turbo.
And it's got a little "s" on the back, which stands for "so freakin' fast"! Foust: Adam and I have chosen two of the coolest dad cars money could buy.
Rut, however You got a minivan.
You rimmed up a minivan! How is that a cool grownup car? You know how it's cool? It's burgundy.
[Laughs.]
You guys got anything else? Is that it? You kinda done? I know you love the Odysseys.
[Engine revs loudly.]
Holy crap! I can't hear you! Why don't you guys just try and keep up.
What the hell? You've got to be kidding me.
He found a minivan that'll do a burnout! Oh, yeah.
Oh, this thing is fun.
That is a monster minivan.
What has he done? Frankensteined something together.
[Engines revving.]
Oh, my gosh! That thing has got some power.
Oh, Tanner's getting beat by a minivan.
Oh, speed bump! Oh! Speed bump.
Speed bump.
Speed bump.
Speed bump.
Speed bump.
There's a goose! Watch the goose! Move the goose! Goose! Goose! Goose! [Goose squawks.]
[Bleep.]
Is this the coolest van in the world? What is that?! There is nothing van about that.
This, my friends, is a monster.
Are they gonna finish building the front of it? Oh, it's done.
That gigantic intercooler is what makes this Honda Odyssey so magical.
All right.
Start talking.
This is a 2014 Honda Odyssey, but not just any Odyssey, oh, no.
This was built by the legendary Bisimoto.
Wood: This family-friendly front-wheel-drive minivan started out with a mild-mannered stock v-6 engine.
The folks at Bisimoto engineering turned it into a beast by fitting it with a gigantic turbo, a 6-speed manual transmission, and best of all, launch control, which can propel this Odyssey forward with an incredible 1,029 horsepower.
You have found your dream car.
[Laughs.]
That's the face! 1,000 horsepower at 40 pounds of boost? - Front-wheel drive? - Uh-huh.
That's good.
Safety first.
Here's the reality.
It's a $30,000 minivan, and $48,000 later, you would have the most rad minivan in the world For 78 grand.
My car doesn't really cost much more than that.
2014 Porsche Cayenne Turbo S.
- How much? - $159,000.
What?! I mean, you could get seven houses in Detroit for that.
You can buy Detroit for that.
Foust: This S.
U.
V.
defies the laws of physics.
At 550 horsepower, Porsche has translated the ultimate sports car into an all-wheel-drive, dad-friendly, kid-caring, grocery-getting super machine.
- Granted - Go ahead.
I've not been a huge fan of the S.
U.
V.
movement, but they did it right.
They kept the center of gravity down.
It's actually engineered.
I'm a driver.
I want to drive the car.
I want to use everything it's got.
Gentlemen, come with me.
Ferrara: The 2014 E63 AMG wagon.
It has a 5.
5-liter biturbo v-8, 577 horsepower.
It does zero to 60 in a stunning 3.
5 seconds.
Suddenly, a trip to the mall just got a lot more fun, even with the screaming wife and kids.
It's a wagon.
It's not really good at anything.
I'm sorry, what? Are you just saying that 'cause it's faster than yours? What are we doing here? Wood: We would journey through Colorado from Denver to the second-highest road in America in the majestic Rocky Mountains.
Along the way, we'd test our cars' heart-pumping performance, as well as their family practicality, with a series of challenges ending with a winner-takes-all race to the clouds at the highest, most dangerous hill-climb course in North America Pikes Peak.
Yes! [Chuckles.]
We're gonna go fast.
In your mom's Porsche? Or in your wife's minivan?! Mount up! Foust: As we headed out of Denver, it was Rut's Odyssey that was turning heads.
Wood: The best part about this van is now it really is a fun family cruiser.
It still holds seven people just fine.
Does have a small roll cage in the back in case the kids want to go to the race track.
Foust: Porsche had some weight on their shoulders coming out with an S.
U.
V.
It could be seen as nothing less than a complete sellout, and that's why they had to make this car so good.
The seating position is perfect.
The instrument cluster makes you think you're in a 911 turbo.
The fact is this is quicker than almost any super car from the '80s, and you can hold your baby seats.
Hey, Adam, what color would you say that leather is on the seats in the wagon? 'Cause that looks a lot like a woman's purse.
Really? You're driving a burgundy minivan, and you're throwing stones from your glass house? Oh, yeah? You want to see what 1,000 horsepower looks like? [Engine revs.]
Holy crap, that's fast! What has happened to you?! You're speeding right now! Oh, my gosh.
You're gonna have to go to confession when this is over, Rut.
I'm gonna need a change of underpants when this is over.
[Laughs.]
We've broken free from the city, and we're winding our way on some of the most spectacular driving roads in the country Heading 40 miles south to our first challenge at an abandoned airstrip.
This is a nice dusty choice.
How old is this roadway? Lindbergh practiced here.
I think this is the place, guys.
Whoo! It's windy out here.
Okay.
What are we doing here? A cool grown-up car not only has acceleration that rivals smaller sportier vehicles, but is practical, too.
To see which of you has the best of both worlds, you will load your cars with sporting goods, accelerate to 120 miles an hour, then come to a complete stop.
Fastest time wins.
Are you kidding me? I mean, this is basically purpose-built for a Cayenne, balls in the trunk.
That's the only way a Cayenne will have balls.
Now, see, that's funny.
I like that dad jacket.
That's nice.
Come on.
Don't go away mad, dad! I am going to lower the suspension, dominate the acceleration, and kick some serious butt.
All right, I'm ready.
3, 2, 1, go! Here he comes.
That's it.
He's got to pull that seat down.
Seats go down.
Pbht! A little dusty.
Very smart.
Perfect.
Grab those balls with both hands! Getting some balls.
That's good ball handling right there.
Give me a hand with the balls! Yeah, we'll give you a hand with them.
Get that one.
That one got away from me.
That one got awa Foust: What one? Come on! There's a frisbee down there.
Boy, Tanner, this stuff's really getting away from ya.
Almost there.
Okay, almost there.
Almost there.
You know what? I tried to grab that one.
[Panting.]
Boy, the altitude really gets ya.
And we're off.
That's 40.
That's 60.
That's 80.
I'll stop this when I see him come to a complete stop.
Holy Ferrara: Coming up, Rut gets sick of fun and games.
Throwing up? And later, it's an epic race to the top of Pikes Peak.
Foust: We were on a journey to Pikes Peak, where we'd race in a competition to prove who had chosen the ultimate car for grown-ups.
Our first challenge required us to load sports equipment, hit 120 miles an hour, and come to a complete stop, with the fastest time winning.
110.
120.
Holy [Bleep.]
Wait for it.
There it is.
Ooh! What'd he do? Where's the radio? Stop the clock.
And slam on the brakes.
Oh! Gosh! What was my time? 3:01.
But you got some stray balls around here.
You lost three balls.
What's the penalty on the balls? 15 seconds.
Seems a little steep.
3:16.
Disappointed.
Whatever.
Set, hut! Ferrara: Next up was Rut.
Air's a little thin up here.
[Exhales.]
I have a feeling I'm gonna get worn out before the Odyssey does.
All right.
You ready, Rut? Ring the bell! 3, 2, 1, go! Here he comes.
Like lightning.
Look at that.
You're off to a good start.
All right.
Get in there.
His arms are way longer than mine.
He's able to hold a lot more.
He's apelike in his approach.
Using the side door.
I like it.
There you go.
Oh, son of a [Bleep.]
! Oh! Oh! Oh! Hurry up! I'm running out of steam! This is when the fatigue sets in.
That altitude will kill ya.
It's like 17 miles up! Is there a hospital at the end of the runway? [Laughs.]
I'm gonna throw up.
[Engine revs.]
He's short-shifting it.
That's 80.
120.
Whoa! Brake lights.
Whoa.
Whoa up, girl.
Oh.
And There it is.
I'm gonna throw up.
I'm gonna throw up.
Is he throwing up? How's it going there, tchotchke? [Laughs.]
Oh, this altitude's so bad! Did you throw up? No, but my body tried.
Okay, so you dry-heaved.
I think that's what you call it.
So that's five seconds for dry-heaving.
Yeah, you can't make that up.
[Both chuckle.]
How did I do? I did awesome, didn't I? 3:09.
You lost two balls.
10-second penalty, 3:19.
As if the dry-heaves weren't bad enough, Rut's mutant minivan had lost to Tanner's S.
U.
V.
But I had no doubt that I could beat Tanner's time of 3:16.
Okay, and 3, 2, 1, go! Here we go.
Watch out for the altitude.
[Chuckles.]
Oh, he's fast.
Going for the side door.
Interesting.
Hey, why aren't you using the back? You got a whole trunk back there.
Yeah, I know.
I have a plan.
Oh, okay.
I was trying to get that for you.
No, you weren't! Hey, it's a wagon, man! Use the back! Hey, did I tell you how to load your truck? You did.
Hey, take your time.
In your old age, I don't want you to have a stroke.
Just be calm.
Deep breaths.
[Panting.]
All right, let's go.
[Speaks indistinctly, chuckles.]
Daddy's gone.
70, 80, 90.
Wow, that thing's angry.
110, come on.
Braking.
And Stop the clock! Now.
Do we need the paddles? Are you okay? Wow! Why do people live here?! Well, I got one idea, because they legalized it, but no clue.
2:51 plus one ball.
That's 2:56.
So I'm the winner! 2:56! I'm the fastest wagon full of balls! Yeah, do you want to just drive yourself to the hospital? I think I might.
We'll meet you there.
Foust: So, with Adam victorious and Rut still nauseous, we headed to our next challenge 25 miles away.
Wood: Isn't it weird to think back to those cars our parents had as kids and they were all so slow? We had a '70 coupe de ville.
That was the family car until my mother burnt out the back seat with her cigarette.
Then it became a plumbing truck.
Wood: How did it become a plumbing truck if it was a Cadillac? Ferrara: My father and I took the back seat out and realized we can get a length of pipe from the trunk through the two front seats and underneath the dash.
That's kind of awesome.
Wood: Luckily, we wouldn't have to follow in the footsteps of our forefathers.
My Odyssey was the coolest thing parenthood had ever seen.
You guys realize that I am, in fact, driving a dream car? You know what? I believe you.
Foust: What happens in someone's life where your dream car goes from a Lamborghini countach to a 1,000-horsepower minivan? You go through puberty, you need glasses, and you grow a beard.
[Laughs.]
Wood: That is really nice, you guys.
That is really nice.
Ferrara: And so we arrive at the location of our second challenge.
Well, this is lovely.
It is.
What are we doing here? I'll tell you.
Burning rubber in a fast car can make you feel like a man.
To see which of your practical cars allows its driver to be the manliest, you will see who can go through a tire and then change it the quickest.
Wait, we're all-wheel-drive cars here? Yes.
Yes, you are.
And I've got front-wheel drive and 1,000 horsepower in a minivan.
Ugh, all right.
Good luck trying to pop a tire, losers.
You're gonna pop an engine before you pop a tire.
That's not true.
Yes, it is.
That is not true, and you know it.
Foust: Okay, I happen to know from experience with a lot of these German cars that the stability control sometimes doesn't turn all the way off.
And this is a car that that is the case.
So I'm gonna have to take matters into my own hands here and go to the owner's manual.
Okay.
Fuses, fuses, fuses.
All right, I'm dead.
Dead.
I got all-wheel drive.
The electronic babysitters are on this thing.
It doesn't let you do anything.
Wood: My minivan, on the other hand, is two-wheel drive, so I can put on the emergency brake, lock up my rear wheels, and thanks to my awesome horsepower, spin these front puppies all day long.
Well, this really seems unfair, doesn't it? Oh, I'm kidding.
This is perfect.
Okay, gentlemen.
You ready? Yeah.
The smoky burnout van is ready.
Foust: And 3, 2, 1, burn the tires off! [Engine revs.]
Wood: Oh, yeah.
Oh, this is ridiculous.
Foust: Okay, okay, got it! Wood: Oh, look at that.
Oh, that is beautiful.
This could be the key right here.
Ferrara: I got to come up with a plan "b.
" What the hell am I gonna do? Plan I just came up with plan "b.
" Foust: Coming up, we meet a man so mysterious, his own mother doesn't know his middle name.
Oh, crap! And later, our race to the top of Pikes Peak takes a dangerous turn.
Wood: Oh, there's ice! Wood: We were on a journey to find the ultimate car for grown-ups.
On our way from Denver to Pikes Peak national forest for a winner-takes-all race, Adam had won the first challenge.
Now we were in a race to burn out a tire and then change it.
Adam's all-wheel-drive Mercedes was stopping him from popping a tire until he came up with plan "b.
" Plan "b.
" [Air hissing.]
This is the way you shredded a tire in my neighborhood.
Ferrara: Tanner and Rut, meanwhile, were burning up a storm.
Foust: Burn, baby, burn.
Wood: Oh, I can't even see.
Look at all that smoke! [Tire pops.]
Oh.
Ooh.
Ooh, that was it.
Foust: How are these tires so damn tough?! These are the toughest tires! [Tire pops.]
Oh, there it goes! It popped! [Tool clangs.]
That worked.
Foust: With the three of us each having popped a tire, the race to change it for the spare was now on.
It's a good-looking spare.
I'd take four of these and stick 'em on an old 911, really.
And now Tanner's probably calling a Porsche dealership.
"Hey, how do you change the tire?" Ferrara: Come on, little doughnut.
[Speaks indistinctly.]
Adam's calling someone in New York.
"Yeah, I need a guy up here in Denver.
I need to make a tire disappear.
" Wood: Adam was actually having to inflate his spare, an innovative, space-saving, but time-consuming feature.
Ferrara: Eight minutes?! Great.
What's that little race boy doing? Eight minutes was too long.
I needed to buy some time.
Hey! Really? You got my lugs.
I beg your pardon? And you dropped this.
What are you doing with that? Nothing.
All right, even trade? You didn't even wear the tread off the tires.
I popped the tire! Hey! Hey! I've got to tighten these lugs down, and I am done.
You cheated anyway! Yeah! Whoo! Need a hand? 'Cause I won! Beaten by a minivan! That's right.
Come on in.
Wood: Nailed it.
What did you do? You just stood here the whole time.
No, I didn't.
I changed the tire.
Go look.
He used a knife.
Okay, it said to burst a tire.
The tire is bursted.
And he stole two lug nuts from me.
I gave them back.
The point is this, gentlemen I have the safest car here.
You can't even do a burnout.
Let's say a kid takes your car.
You don't have to worry about him spinning around in the parking lot and shredding your tires.
This wasn't about safety.
This was about manliness and being a man! Look at this.
[Exhales slowly.]
All right.
I'll see you two sore losers later, and I mean losers.
Wood: So Adam and I had each won a challenge.
Our next challenge, however, would favor the racing driver among us.
In the shadows of the rockies lies one of the fastest mile oval tracks in America A place where a certain Tanner Foust cut his teeth.
Foust: You know I used to work here? Yeah? Yeah.
Did you paint the lines? I didn't paint the lines.
I sold sponsorships.
And I started nascar races from that starter stand right there.
This track is really fast.
Did you ever race here? Yeah, I did the road course in a spec Ford, slowest car ever made.
Way slower than this Porsche.
What are we doing here? Glad you asked.
[Paper rustles.]
In preparation for your hill-climb race and to see which has picked the fastest practical car, you will now pit yourselves against the epitome of American two-seater muscle.
The epitome.
You know, the epitome as in, like, the top, the highest.
It's got four syllables.
I still know what the word means.
That's very good.
What could it be, though? Gt40? No.
Is that who I think it is? A z06! I'm just gonna scoot up a little bit! Ohh, crap! But at least it's driven by the stig.
Foust: The corvette z06.
505 horsepower, top speed of 198 miles an hour.
This is one of the great American sports cars and driven by none other than the stig.
I happen to have the fastest car here.
But you have no risk management system.
So there's a chance.
Don't.
There's no way you could explain that to him.
Timers on the track would measure the gap between our cars and the corvette.
Whoever could get closest to the stig over two laps would win.
First up was Adam.
Ferrara: I'll be honest with you.
I'm a little nervous.
My plan is to not to drive like me.
Now, there's marks on the track from where some of the stock car schools run.
And if he runs in those, then he will definitely stuff it in the wall on turn 2.
'Cause those cars are set up to go like this, not to drive straight.
Let's do this! Oh, God.
I thought he would say that.
Okay, here we go.
In 3, 2, 1, go! Oh, he's catching him already.
I'm coming to get you, stig.
Get on the gas.
Looks like he's too high.
He's too high.
There's the wall.
Oh, there's the big wall.
He's too high! Oh! [Tires squeal.]
Oh! I'm alive.
Bring it down.
Ferrara: After I escaped nearly kissing the wall, the stig was screaming away.
He's going fast, though.
With one lap left, it was time to drop the hammer.
Ha ha! 120.
Listen for the wreck.
Listen for the wreck.
Oh! Oh, this turn comes up quick! As I headed into the last corner, the stig had already crossed the line.
Here comes the time! Here comes the time! Look at that.
It's all in one piece.
Huh! Look at you! Huh! Did you see on your start? Dude, you had the stig.
Yeah.
How close did you get to the wall? Closer than I would like.
Is your hand shaking? [Laughter.]
But I shoot with this hand.
Oh, good.
But do you want to see your time? Oh.
I don't know if that's a good time or not.
That's 11 seconds.
Who knows? That's child's play.
And I should know.
I drive a minivan.
Yep, and you're a giant bearded child.
Wood: The truth is that this car is not designed to go around corners at all.
Yes, I had nearly twice the horsepower as Adam, but that could pull me into the wall twice as fast.
The characteristics of a car this big going into these turns is not really on my side here.
'Cause it's gonna want to understeer or it's gonna oversteer and just come right around me in the turns.
I am in deep crap.
Are you ladies gonna count it down or what? Here we go, in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
You're gonna die! Oh, spinning the tires, come on, first gear.
Second gear.
He's still getting real spin.
[Laughing.]
He's still getting real spin.
Holy crap.
Dangerous or not, i couldn't stomach the idea of losing to Adam.
Oh! [Bleep.]
This is scary! He's literally sweating.
His glasses are all fogged up.
Oh, she's coming around.
Then, coming into turn 4, I just pushed it too hard.
He's too high.
Wall! Wall! Wall! Ferrara: Coming up, at 14,000 feet, Tanner takes crazy to new heights.
Are you kidding?! And you call me the crazy one! Foust: We were in Colorado competing to see who had chosen the best car for grown-ups.
Adam and Rut were tied with one win each.
Our last challenge before the race at Pikes Peak was to see who could keep up with the stig on an oval circuit.
Adam went first and finished 11 seconds behind the stig.
Now Rut was having a difficult time controlling his slightly overpowered minivan.
[Bleep.]
This is scary! There's one lap! Get on it, Rut! Whoo! My mom has driven faster to get me to school than that.
Oh, my gosh! I am so screwed.
Oh, my God! The stig's here already.
Ohh! I don't even think the stig is on the track anymore.
Oh, he's making noise.
That's it! Hit it now, Rut! Big finish! [Both chuckle.]
Oh, I'm alive! Oh, that is the dumbest thing I've ever done! All right, dude.
This was fun.
But my mom's here.
See you in school tomorrow.
Okay.
Solid.
That was amazing! Ha-ha! Holy crap! [Laughs.]
You guys cannot imagine what it's like when that turbo spools up and it just wants to rip you right into the wall.
Holy crap! You okay? So, 1,000 horsepower, front-wheel-drive car, not a practical thing? Not as good on an oval as you would think! Really? That's weird.
Anyway, you want to know your time? We had to time you with a calendar.
Come on.
It wasn't that bad.
20.
9 seconds.
That's a full indy lap.
[Sighs.]
Ferrara: Rut had failed to beat my time of 11 seconds, proving his Odyssey was better suited for navigating an elementary school parking lot.
Now, a race car driver in a Porsche in theory should win, but lesser men have underestimated the stig at their own peril.
Wood: Tanner, you ready over there? Y-yeah! In 3, 2, 1, go! All-wheel drive, baby! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Oh, stig's spinning the tires.
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Well, the stig has finally got some grip.
I'm right on his tail.
Oh, that horse is fast out of the hole.
Oh, man! Whoa! It's sliding up to the wall! That corvette is super fast.
I'm doing 125 miles an hour.
Now he's opening up.
Yeah, stiggy.
Oh! I'm overheating the front-right tire.
It's up to 49 pounds.
This is dangerous! All right, full throttle onto the straightaway! Come on, stig.
Here he comes.
Come on, baby, run! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Yeah! Ha ha! Hey! Whoo! That was awesome.
Yeah.
How'd I do? It's just when you see a car as fast as that z06 go around, and then you see this thing, like, running after it with a purse.
What was the time? Does it have a really cool exhaust? 'Cause I barely even heard it.
It sounded like it was a hybrid when it went by.
It was kind of quiet.
What was the time, 7 seconds? So you felt good about the run? Was it faster than 11 seconds? Was it slower than 11 seconds? No.
8 seconds.
You know when you have really bad news to give someone you're not sure how to give it to them? We don't want to crush you.
What was my time? How do you think you did? Man, I'd like to be in the 8, 9 range.
Something just faster than 11 would be good.
All right.
You were faster than 11.
Can we go? What was it? Come on.
4 seconds.
Yes! I mean, ooh.
Ah, played it like a real Porsche owner.
Yeah.
And people think they're not that nice.
What's next?! This is awesome! Ferrara: See? Ferrara: So, unsurprisingly, Tanner won a racing challenge.
And with one victory each under our belts, we embarked on the last leg of our epic journey through Colorado to our final stop Pikes peak.
Gentlemen, if you look at your 1:00 and you see that ominous white Mountain in the clouds, that is Pikes Peak.
Oh, wow.
[Epic music plays.]
At 14,000 feet, it waited for us in all its glory.
Home to the annual international hill climb race, Pikes Peak is the highest race course in America.
Its twisting, vicious switchbacks are carved into the Mountain with steep drop-offs that have claimed the lives of many seasoned racers.
You don't race this kind of course without scoping it out first.
If we were to survive, we needed to get the lay of the land.
Foust: Gentlemen, right here is the start of the Pikes Peak hill climb, right at that mark.
12.
7 miles, 156 hairpin turns.
Why do people race up here? This is stupid.
Foust: Once we get up to a place called "George's corner," we'll get to the timber line, and then it's just straight cliffs.
They range from 1,000 feet to 6,000 feet.
Wood: If the fear of 1,000-foot drop-offs wasn't enough, we'd be racing to the top at speeds over 100 miles per hour.
This is possibly the most dangerous road I have ever seen in my life.
Hey, when you ran the Pikes Peak hill climb, were you ever in a minivan? No.
Actually, nobody was, strangely enough.
I want to win so bad, but I do not want to die on this Mountain.
Ferrara: Wow! Look to your right, fellas.
Wood: Oh, my gosh.
That's insane.
Gentlemen, on your right, certain death.
He's blocking me! There's a cliff! Wood: Adam pushes Tanner to the brink.
Oh, he's going off! Foust: We were in Colorado competing to see who had chosen the best car for grown-ups.
After winning one challenge each, we were now on to Pikes Peak, home to one of the most dangerous races in the world.
In this final winner-takes-all challenge, we would race up the Mountain at speeds of over 100 miles an hour with 1,000-foot drop-offs and minimal guard rails.
We needed to determine where the race would end and scout the course to lessen the risk of going over the edge.
If you look to your left, you'll see certain death.
Oh, and if you look to your right, more death.
Hold on.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
It's completely snow-covered up there.
Oh, you are kidding.
Wood: Eight miles up, the road was snowed over, making it too dangerous to go on.
What are we, in outer space?! It's like the moon up here, isn't it? How high is this? We're probably like 12,500 feet right now, maybe 13,000.
Dude, this is so much crazier than any of the pictures and anything I've read make this seem.
This seems really fair, doesn't it? You know, you're about to vomit, and you've done this four times before.
Well, I've got a little home track advantage.
So, why don't you guys start first? Maybe you can go first, maybe 10-second gap there, and I'll take like a 30-second gap behind the two of you, race up to here.
This is where you want to finish? Yeah.
Don't go past that, because you're gonna go into the drifts and you'll get stuck.
And, since it's all tied up all around, first one to finish wins.
Ferrara: But even with our head starts, Tanner still had the upper hand.
Luckily, we had another brilliant idea.
What's the deal? What are you doing? We had a meeting.
We've thought a lot about it, and we just feel like we need to level the playing field a little bit.
You're already getting 30 seconds, and you're getting 40 seconds.
What do you need? Go get it.
Four times you've run this.
Yes, four times.
But 40 seconds is a lot.
Look, it's a baby! Ferrara: Eh? Hello, what's your name, beautiful? You want me to take that in my car? Yeah.
It's a family vehicle, right? It's fine.
Get in.
She's safe.
Foust: You guys.
Yeah, she's ready.
Well done.
Brother wood.
Baby's on a timer.
We'll be good to go.
You're a genius! Well, I do what I can.
These guys have completely lost it.
Okay, gentlemen.
Are we ready to race to the top? Let's do it.
Foust: Okay, Rutledge.
Don't look down.
In 3, 2, 1, go! Oh, just wheel-spinning fury.
All right.
I'm off, second gear.
Here we go.
Adam, go in 3, 2, 1, now! Here we go! Ha ha! All right.
In 30 seconds.
Okay, off to a good start.
Oh, this is it.
This is my chance to prove that this Odyssey is a winner.
Oh, yeah.
Downshift to second.
Here we go.
Sorry, not today, fellas.
Oh, there's ice! Oh, boy! Okay! Holy crap, it's hard to breathe up here! Oh [Bleep.]
this is fast.
Okay, easy in this one.
No sign of the little fella.
Okay, here I go in 5 [Baby crying.]
4, 3, 2 what the hell?! Go! [Crying continues.]
Oh, stop! Keep your food in the back! Coming to get you, Adam.
Oh, it's getting scary now.
I can't even see this turn.
There you go.
[Chuckles.]
Race boy should be knee deep in cheerios right about now.
[Crying continues.]
Stop spitting back there! Ohh, there's no guardrail.
Oh, 10-mile-an-hour turn.
Oh, wow.
Rut was showing amazing bravery.
Oh, I had to slow way down on that one.
Come on, baby.
Foust: But two miles up, Adam was beginning to catch up with him in the famous W's.
Come on, boost! [Cars whooshing.]
Climbing, climbing Oh, wow! I am higher than the trees! Wow! Oh, that's scary.
[Crying continues.]
There's Adam! I got him already.
There he is.
Ferrara: Even with a screaming, puking child in the back, race boy was coming up fast.
[Crying continues.]
Seriously?! It's like fingernails on a chalkboard.
It was hard enough trying not to fly off the road.
Hard on the brakes.
And now I had Tanner on my tail.
Okay, easy here in this one.
Foust: Oh, reeling him in on the scary turns.
Coming to get you, Adam.
Oh, look at the edge! Don't look at the edge! Don't look at the edge! Ferrara: Race boy already thinks I'm crazy, so I'm gonna use it to my advantage.
Foust: I got you now, Adam! Yeah, that's what I'm talking about! [Laughs.]
What?! He's blocking me! There's a cliff! Oh, you're not gonna get around me, race boy.
Adam, seriously! [Crying continues.]
Go! Let me over! Come on! Nuh-uh, nope! I got you now, buddy.
Coming to get ya.
What? Oh! Adam, watch out! Oh, he's going off! Wood: We had journeyed through Colorado in search of a car that could satisfy all of your practical family needs while still delivering the heart-pounding thrills of your teenage dreams.
And now we were on our final winner-takes-all race up Pikes Peak, the highest, most dangerous hill-climb course in the world.
Go! Having given us a head start, Tanner had caught up with Adam.
Foust: What?! He's blocking me! There's a cliff! [Baby crying.]
Adam, seriously! Nuh-uh, nope! I got you now, buddy.
Coming to get ya.
What? Oh! Adam, watch out! Wood: Oh, he's going off! Whoa! Ferrara: I tried to keep Tanner behind me, but I didn't want to kill the little fella.
And you call me the crazy one! Foust: Whoo! One down! But he still had to catch Rut, who was surprisingly far up the hill.
Oh, Rutledge, I'm coming for you, buddy.
Wood: Oh, here comes Tanner.
Oh, wide turn.
Oh, I got Rut in my sights now.
[Crying continues.]
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Oh.
Oh.
Come on, baby.
Get in second.
Come on, Rutledge.
That two-wheel drive is hurtin' coming out of those hairpins.
Oh, no.
Tanner's getting close.
Coming for you, Rut! [Crying continues.]
Come on, baby! Don't let him around you.
That's a Porsche.
Yes! Power! Come on, baby.
Yes! Ohh.
Oh, come on! Oh! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Come on! No! Are you kidding? He passed Rut on the outside with no guard rail! [Crying continues.]
See ya! Now with Tanner and his screaming baby in the lead, my dignity was on the line.
I desperately needed to overtake Rut and his steroid-enhanced mom van.
Ferrara: I got to get Rut.
Come on! Rut, get out of my way! Oh, Adam is all over my tail.
Yes! Oh, it's a little bit slippery up here! Wood: With only two turns left, Tanner was about to cross the finish line, and Adam was not letting up on me.
Come on.
Give me an opening, Rut.
Give me an opening.
[Crying continues.]
Yes! That is what I'm talking about right there! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Ferrara: Surprise, Tanner had won.
This was it.
It was do or die, my one chance to get Rut.
Oh, this is tight.
Here it is.
Here's my chance.
Aah! Oh, really? Oh, really? Ha ha! Yes! Yes! There it is! I had beaten Rut, but second isn't first as Tanner politely pointed out.
Foust: Yeah! Yeah! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! That's what I'm talking about, baby! Ferrara: [Groans.]
Oh, now you're gonna litter? That is gonna be there till spring.
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Pikes peak domination! Does this make me a poor loser?! No! It makes me a bad winner, but You almost killed yourself when you passed me.
You almost killed me.
I had trouble finding first gear, and then you just shoved me out of the way.
Oh, that's weird.
He almost pushed me off a ragged edge.
That's like a 1,000-foot drop.
Anyway, here's what we learned.
It was close.
It was close.
It came down to a race up one of the most epic pieces of road in this world.
And the Cayenne Turbo S proved itself as the best cool-dad car there is.
You guys have to give it up for that van.
You had a hard time catching up with me.
And I don't think you waited the full 30 seconds, for the record.
I did wait the full 30 seconds.
I tell you what, Rut.
I am very surprised the van even made it up here.
I am in no way surprised how well the wagon did.
Who knew? S.
U.
V.
I wasn't convinced until today.
Oh, God.
If I just admit that the Cayenne is the best, - can we get off the top of this Mountain, please? - Yes.
Then it's the best.
Fine.
Yes! It is the best, 'cause it's number one! That's what it is! [Laughter.]
What are you doing? Get back in your minivan.
Let's get out of here.
Whoo! The baby's more mature than you.
I think there is ice forming in my ear.
Ow! I got it in the face! Ohh, that hurts.
As we make our way to a death-defying race up the world-famous Pikes Peak Don't look at the edge! Don't look at the edge! One of the highest and most dangerous roads in the country.
Oh, he's going off! When you were young, you wanted to drive a super car.
Practicality meant nothing.
Now you're all grown up.
Practicality is everything.
You have a family.
You have responsibilities.
You need to drive a big, slow, boring car, right? Or do you? "Top Gear" sent us to Denver, Colorado, to find out if a vehicle exists that has room to pick up the kids from lacrosse practice but is still blindingly fast and ridiculously fun.
We are here in Colorado to see if you can still recapture the joy you had in a vehicle when you were 21 years old, even though now you're a responsible adult.
Sort of.
So I chose the state-of-the-art, sublimely engineered German wagon.
This is an AMG Mercedes, which stands for "almighty God, is this is a fast wagon.
" Foust: Me, however, I'm a Porsche guy.
And I picked the Cayenne Turbo S because it drives like a sports car.
It handles and speeds like a super car.
And it's a turbo.
And it's got a little "s" on the back, which stands for "so freakin' fast"! Foust: Adam and I have chosen two of the coolest dad cars money could buy.
Rut, however You got a minivan.
You rimmed up a minivan! How is that a cool grownup car? You know how it's cool? It's burgundy.
[Laughs.]
You guys got anything else? Is that it? You kinda done? I know you love the Odysseys.
[Engine revs loudly.]
Holy crap! I can't hear you! Why don't you guys just try and keep up.
What the hell? You've got to be kidding me.
He found a minivan that'll do a burnout! Oh, yeah.
Oh, this thing is fun.
That is a monster minivan.
What has he done? Frankensteined something together.
[Engines revving.]
Oh, my gosh! That thing has got some power.
Oh, Tanner's getting beat by a minivan.
Oh, speed bump! Oh! Speed bump.
Speed bump.
Speed bump.
Speed bump.
Speed bump.
There's a goose! Watch the goose! Move the goose! Goose! Goose! Goose! [Goose squawks.]
[Bleep.]
Is this the coolest van in the world? What is that?! There is nothing van about that.
This, my friends, is a monster.
Are they gonna finish building the front of it? Oh, it's done.
That gigantic intercooler is what makes this Honda Odyssey so magical.
All right.
Start talking.
This is a 2014 Honda Odyssey, but not just any Odyssey, oh, no.
This was built by the legendary Bisimoto.
Wood: This family-friendly front-wheel-drive minivan started out with a mild-mannered stock v-6 engine.
The folks at Bisimoto engineering turned it into a beast by fitting it with a gigantic turbo, a 6-speed manual transmission, and best of all, launch control, which can propel this Odyssey forward with an incredible 1,029 horsepower.
You have found your dream car.
[Laughs.]
That's the face! 1,000 horsepower at 40 pounds of boost? - Front-wheel drive? - Uh-huh.
That's good.
Safety first.
Here's the reality.
It's a $30,000 minivan, and $48,000 later, you would have the most rad minivan in the world For 78 grand.
My car doesn't really cost much more than that.
2014 Porsche Cayenne Turbo S.
- How much? - $159,000.
What?! I mean, you could get seven houses in Detroit for that.
You can buy Detroit for that.
Foust: This S.
U.
V.
defies the laws of physics.
At 550 horsepower, Porsche has translated the ultimate sports car into an all-wheel-drive, dad-friendly, kid-caring, grocery-getting super machine.
- Granted - Go ahead.
I've not been a huge fan of the S.
U.
V.
movement, but they did it right.
They kept the center of gravity down.
It's actually engineered.
I'm a driver.
I want to drive the car.
I want to use everything it's got.
Gentlemen, come with me.
Ferrara: The 2014 E63 AMG wagon.
It has a 5.
5-liter biturbo v-8, 577 horsepower.
It does zero to 60 in a stunning 3.
5 seconds.
Suddenly, a trip to the mall just got a lot more fun, even with the screaming wife and kids.
It's a wagon.
It's not really good at anything.
I'm sorry, what? Are you just saying that 'cause it's faster than yours? What are we doing here? Wood: We would journey through Colorado from Denver to the second-highest road in America in the majestic Rocky Mountains.
Along the way, we'd test our cars' heart-pumping performance, as well as their family practicality, with a series of challenges ending with a winner-takes-all race to the clouds at the highest, most dangerous hill-climb course in North America Pikes Peak.
Yes! [Chuckles.]
We're gonna go fast.
In your mom's Porsche? Or in your wife's minivan?! Mount up! Foust: As we headed out of Denver, it was Rut's Odyssey that was turning heads.
Wood: The best part about this van is now it really is a fun family cruiser.
It still holds seven people just fine.
Does have a small roll cage in the back in case the kids want to go to the race track.
Foust: Porsche had some weight on their shoulders coming out with an S.
U.
V.
It could be seen as nothing less than a complete sellout, and that's why they had to make this car so good.
The seating position is perfect.
The instrument cluster makes you think you're in a 911 turbo.
The fact is this is quicker than almost any super car from the '80s, and you can hold your baby seats.
Hey, Adam, what color would you say that leather is on the seats in the wagon? 'Cause that looks a lot like a woman's purse.
Really? You're driving a burgundy minivan, and you're throwing stones from your glass house? Oh, yeah? You want to see what 1,000 horsepower looks like? [Engine revs.]
Holy crap, that's fast! What has happened to you?! You're speeding right now! Oh, my gosh.
You're gonna have to go to confession when this is over, Rut.
I'm gonna need a change of underpants when this is over.
[Laughs.]
We've broken free from the city, and we're winding our way on some of the most spectacular driving roads in the country Heading 40 miles south to our first challenge at an abandoned airstrip.
This is a nice dusty choice.
How old is this roadway? Lindbergh practiced here.
I think this is the place, guys.
Whoo! It's windy out here.
Okay.
What are we doing here? A cool grown-up car not only has acceleration that rivals smaller sportier vehicles, but is practical, too.
To see which of you has the best of both worlds, you will load your cars with sporting goods, accelerate to 120 miles an hour, then come to a complete stop.
Fastest time wins.
Are you kidding me? I mean, this is basically purpose-built for a Cayenne, balls in the trunk.
That's the only way a Cayenne will have balls.
Now, see, that's funny.
I like that dad jacket.
That's nice.
Come on.
Don't go away mad, dad! I am going to lower the suspension, dominate the acceleration, and kick some serious butt.
All right, I'm ready.
3, 2, 1, go! Here he comes.
That's it.
He's got to pull that seat down.
Seats go down.
Pbht! A little dusty.
Very smart.
Perfect.
Grab those balls with both hands! Getting some balls.
That's good ball handling right there.
Give me a hand with the balls! Yeah, we'll give you a hand with them.
Get that one.
That one got away from me.
That one got awa Foust: What one? Come on! There's a frisbee down there.
Boy, Tanner, this stuff's really getting away from ya.
Almost there.
Okay, almost there.
Almost there.
You know what? I tried to grab that one.
[Panting.]
Boy, the altitude really gets ya.
And we're off.
That's 40.
That's 60.
That's 80.
I'll stop this when I see him come to a complete stop.
Holy Ferrara: Coming up, Rut gets sick of fun and games.
Throwing up? And later, it's an epic race to the top of Pikes Peak.
Foust: We were on a journey to Pikes Peak, where we'd race in a competition to prove who had chosen the ultimate car for grown-ups.
Our first challenge required us to load sports equipment, hit 120 miles an hour, and come to a complete stop, with the fastest time winning.
110.
120.
Holy [Bleep.]
Wait for it.
There it is.
Ooh! What'd he do? Where's the radio? Stop the clock.
And slam on the brakes.
Oh! Gosh! What was my time? 3:01.
But you got some stray balls around here.
You lost three balls.
What's the penalty on the balls? 15 seconds.
Seems a little steep.
3:16.
Disappointed.
Whatever.
Set, hut! Ferrara: Next up was Rut.
Air's a little thin up here.
[Exhales.]
I have a feeling I'm gonna get worn out before the Odyssey does.
All right.
You ready, Rut? Ring the bell! 3, 2, 1, go! Here he comes.
Like lightning.
Look at that.
You're off to a good start.
All right.
Get in there.
His arms are way longer than mine.
He's able to hold a lot more.
He's apelike in his approach.
Using the side door.
I like it.
There you go.
Oh, son of a [Bleep.]
! Oh! Oh! Oh! Hurry up! I'm running out of steam! This is when the fatigue sets in.
That altitude will kill ya.
It's like 17 miles up! Is there a hospital at the end of the runway? [Laughs.]
I'm gonna throw up.
[Engine revs.]
He's short-shifting it.
That's 80.
120.
Whoa! Brake lights.
Whoa.
Whoa up, girl.
Oh.
And There it is.
I'm gonna throw up.
I'm gonna throw up.
Is he throwing up? How's it going there, tchotchke? [Laughs.]
Oh, this altitude's so bad! Did you throw up? No, but my body tried.
Okay, so you dry-heaved.
I think that's what you call it.
So that's five seconds for dry-heaving.
Yeah, you can't make that up.
[Both chuckle.]
How did I do? I did awesome, didn't I? 3:09.
You lost two balls.
10-second penalty, 3:19.
As if the dry-heaves weren't bad enough, Rut's mutant minivan had lost to Tanner's S.
U.
V.
But I had no doubt that I could beat Tanner's time of 3:16.
Okay, and 3, 2, 1, go! Here we go.
Watch out for the altitude.
[Chuckles.]
Oh, he's fast.
Going for the side door.
Interesting.
Hey, why aren't you using the back? You got a whole trunk back there.
Yeah, I know.
I have a plan.
Oh, okay.
I was trying to get that for you.
No, you weren't! Hey, it's a wagon, man! Use the back! Hey, did I tell you how to load your truck? You did.
Hey, take your time.
In your old age, I don't want you to have a stroke.
Just be calm.
Deep breaths.
[Panting.]
All right, let's go.
[Speaks indistinctly, chuckles.]
Daddy's gone.
70, 80, 90.
Wow, that thing's angry.
110, come on.
Braking.
And Stop the clock! Now.
Do we need the paddles? Are you okay? Wow! Why do people live here?! Well, I got one idea, because they legalized it, but no clue.
2:51 plus one ball.
That's 2:56.
So I'm the winner! 2:56! I'm the fastest wagon full of balls! Yeah, do you want to just drive yourself to the hospital? I think I might.
We'll meet you there.
Foust: So, with Adam victorious and Rut still nauseous, we headed to our next challenge 25 miles away.
Wood: Isn't it weird to think back to those cars our parents had as kids and they were all so slow? We had a '70 coupe de ville.
That was the family car until my mother burnt out the back seat with her cigarette.
Then it became a plumbing truck.
Wood: How did it become a plumbing truck if it was a Cadillac? Ferrara: My father and I took the back seat out and realized we can get a length of pipe from the trunk through the two front seats and underneath the dash.
That's kind of awesome.
Wood: Luckily, we wouldn't have to follow in the footsteps of our forefathers.
My Odyssey was the coolest thing parenthood had ever seen.
You guys realize that I am, in fact, driving a dream car? You know what? I believe you.
Foust: What happens in someone's life where your dream car goes from a Lamborghini countach to a 1,000-horsepower minivan? You go through puberty, you need glasses, and you grow a beard.
[Laughs.]
Wood: That is really nice, you guys.
That is really nice.
Ferrara: And so we arrive at the location of our second challenge.
Well, this is lovely.
It is.
What are we doing here? I'll tell you.
Burning rubber in a fast car can make you feel like a man.
To see which of your practical cars allows its driver to be the manliest, you will see who can go through a tire and then change it the quickest.
Wait, we're all-wheel-drive cars here? Yes.
Yes, you are.
And I've got front-wheel drive and 1,000 horsepower in a minivan.
Ugh, all right.
Good luck trying to pop a tire, losers.
You're gonna pop an engine before you pop a tire.
That's not true.
Yes, it is.
That is not true, and you know it.
Foust: Okay, I happen to know from experience with a lot of these German cars that the stability control sometimes doesn't turn all the way off.
And this is a car that that is the case.
So I'm gonna have to take matters into my own hands here and go to the owner's manual.
Okay.
Fuses, fuses, fuses.
All right, I'm dead.
Dead.
I got all-wheel drive.
The electronic babysitters are on this thing.
It doesn't let you do anything.
Wood: My minivan, on the other hand, is two-wheel drive, so I can put on the emergency brake, lock up my rear wheels, and thanks to my awesome horsepower, spin these front puppies all day long.
Well, this really seems unfair, doesn't it? Oh, I'm kidding.
This is perfect.
Okay, gentlemen.
You ready? Yeah.
The smoky burnout van is ready.
Foust: And 3, 2, 1, burn the tires off! [Engine revs.]
Wood: Oh, yeah.
Oh, this is ridiculous.
Foust: Okay, okay, got it! Wood: Oh, look at that.
Oh, that is beautiful.
This could be the key right here.
Ferrara: I got to come up with a plan "b.
" What the hell am I gonna do? Plan I just came up with plan "b.
" Foust: Coming up, we meet a man so mysterious, his own mother doesn't know his middle name.
Oh, crap! And later, our race to the top of Pikes Peak takes a dangerous turn.
Wood: Oh, there's ice! Wood: We were on a journey to find the ultimate car for grown-ups.
On our way from Denver to Pikes Peak national forest for a winner-takes-all race, Adam had won the first challenge.
Now we were in a race to burn out a tire and then change it.
Adam's all-wheel-drive Mercedes was stopping him from popping a tire until he came up with plan "b.
" Plan "b.
" [Air hissing.]
This is the way you shredded a tire in my neighborhood.
Ferrara: Tanner and Rut, meanwhile, were burning up a storm.
Foust: Burn, baby, burn.
Wood: Oh, I can't even see.
Look at all that smoke! [Tire pops.]
Oh.
Ooh.
Ooh, that was it.
Foust: How are these tires so damn tough?! These are the toughest tires! [Tire pops.]
Oh, there it goes! It popped! [Tool clangs.]
That worked.
Foust: With the three of us each having popped a tire, the race to change it for the spare was now on.
It's a good-looking spare.
I'd take four of these and stick 'em on an old 911, really.
And now Tanner's probably calling a Porsche dealership.
"Hey, how do you change the tire?" Ferrara: Come on, little doughnut.
[Speaks indistinctly.]
Adam's calling someone in New York.
"Yeah, I need a guy up here in Denver.
I need to make a tire disappear.
" Wood: Adam was actually having to inflate his spare, an innovative, space-saving, but time-consuming feature.
Ferrara: Eight minutes?! Great.
What's that little race boy doing? Eight minutes was too long.
I needed to buy some time.
Hey! Really? You got my lugs.
I beg your pardon? And you dropped this.
What are you doing with that? Nothing.
All right, even trade? You didn't even wear the tread off the tires.
I popped the tire! Hey! Hey! I've got to tighten these lugs down, and I am done.
You cheated anyway! Yeah! Whoo! Need a hand? 'Cause I won! Beaten by a minivan! That's right.
Come on in.
Wood: Nailed it.
What did you do? You just stood here the whole time.
No, I didn't.
I changed the tire.
Go look.
He used a knife.
Okay, it said to burst a tire.
The tire is bursted.
And he stole two lug nuts from me.
I gave them back.
The point is this, gentlemen I have the safest car here.
You can't even do a burnout.
Let's say a kid takes your car.
You don't have to worry about him spinning around in the parking lot and shredding your tires.
This wasn't about safety.
This was about manliness and being a man! Look at this.
[Exhales slowly.]
All right.
I'll see you two sore losers later, and I mean losers.
Wood: So Adam and I had each won a challenge.
Our next challenge, however, would favor the racing driver among us.
In the shadows of the rockies lies one of the fastest mile oval tracks in America A place where a certain Tanner Foust cut his teeth.
Foust: You know I used to work here? Yeah? Yeah.
Did you paint the lines? I didn't paint the lines.
I sold sponsorships.
And I started nascar races from that starter stand right there.
This track is really fast.
Did you ever race here? Yeah, I did the road course in a spec Ford, slowest car ever made.
Way slower than this Porsche.
What are we doing here? Glad you asked.
[Paper rustles.]
In preparation for your hill-climb race and to see which has picked the fastest practical car, you will now pit yourselves against the epitome of American two-seater muscle.
The epitome.
You know, the epitome as in, like, the top, the highest.
It's got four syllables.
I still know what the word means.
That's very good.
What could it be, though? Gt40? No.
Is that who I think it is? A z06! I'm just gonna scoot up a little bit! Ohh, crap! But at least it's driven by the stig.
Foust: The corvette z06.
505 horsepower, top speed of 198 miles an hour.
This is one of the great American sports cars and driven by none other than the stig.
I happen to have the fastest car here.
But you have no risk management system.
So there's a chance.
Don't.
There's no way you could explain that to him.
Timers on the track would measure the gap between our cars and the corvette.
Whoever could get closest to the stig over two laps would win.
First up was Adam.
Ferrara: I'll be honest with you.
I'm a little nervous.
My plan is to not to drive like me.
Now, there's marks on the track from where some of the stock car schools run.
And if he runs in those, then he will definitely stuff it in the wall on turn 2.
'Cause those cars are set up to go like this, not to drive straight.
Let's do this! Oh, God.
I thought he would say that.
Okay, here we go.
In 3, 2, 1, go! Oh, he's catching him already.
I'm coming to get you, stig.
Get on the gas.
Looks like he's too high.
He's too high.
There's the wall.
Oh, there's the big wall.
He's too high! Oh! [Tires squeal.]
Oh! I'm alive.
Bring it down.
Ferrara: After I escaped nearly kissing the wall, the stig was screaming away.
He's going fast, though.
With one lap left, it was time to drop the hammer.
Ha ha! 120.
Listen for the wreck.
Listen for the wreck.
Oh! Oh, this turn comes up quick! As I headed into the last corner, the stig had already crossed the line.
Here comes the time! Here comes the time! Look at that.
It's all in one piece.
Huh! Look at you! Huh! Did you see on your start? Dude, you had the stig.
Yeah.
How close did you get to the wall? Closer than I would like.
Is your hand shaking? [Laughter.]
But I shoot with this hand.
Oh, good.
But do you want to see your time? Oh.
I don't know if that's a good time or not.
That's 11 seconds.
Who knows? That's child's play.
And I should know.
I drive a minivan.
Yep, and you're a giant bearded child.
Wood: The truth is that this car is not designed to go around corners at all.
Yes, I had nearly twice the horsepower as Adam, but that could pull me into the wall twice as fast.
The characteristics of a car this big going into these turns is not really on my side here.
'Cause it's gonna want to understeer or it's gonna oversteer and just come right around me in the turns.
I am in deep crap.
Are you ladies gonna count it down or what? Here we go, in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
You're gonna die! Oh, spinning the tires, come on, first gear.
Second gear.
He's still getting real spin.
[Laughing.]
He's still getting real spin.
Holy crap.
Dangerous or not, i couldn't stomach the idea of losing to Adam.
Oh! [Bleep.]
This is scary! He's literally sweating.
His glasses are all fogged up.
Oh, she's coming around.
Then, coming into turn 4, I just pushed it too hard.
He's too high.
Wall! Wall! Wall! Ferrara: Coming up, at 14,000 feet, Tanner takes crazy to new heights.
Are you kidding?! And you call me the crazy one! Foust: We were in Colorado competing to see who had chosen the best car for grown-ups.
Adam and Rut were tied with one win each.
Our last challenge before the race at Pikes Peak was to see who could keep up with the stig on an oval circuit.
Adam went first and finished 11 seconds behind the stig.
Now Rut was having a difficult time controlling his slightly overpowered minivan.
[Bleep.]
This is scary! There's one lap! Get on it, Rut! Whoo! My mom has driven faster to get me to school than that.
Oh, my gosh! I am so screwed.
Oh, my God! The stig's here already.
Ohh! I don't even think the stig is on the track anymore.
Oh, he's making noise.
That's it! Hit it now, Rut! Big finish! [Both chuckle.]
Oh, I'm alive! Oh, that is the dumbest thing I've ever done! All right, dude.
This was fun.
But my mom's here.
See you in school tomorrow.
Okay.
Solid.
That was amazing! Ha-ha! Holy crap! [Laughs.]
You guys cannot imagine what it's like when that turbo spools up and it just wants to rip you right into the wall.
Holy crap! You okay? So, 1,000 horsepower, front-wheel-drive car, not a practical thing? Not as good on an oval as you would think! Really? That's weird.
Anyway, you want to know your time? We had to time you with a calendar.
Come on.
It wasn't that bad.
20.
9 seconds.
That's a full indy lap.
[Sighs.]
Ferrara: Rut had failed to beat my time of 11 seconds, proving his Odyssey was better suited for navigating an elementary school parking lot.
Now, a race car driver in a Porsche in theory should win, but lesser men have underestimated the stig at their own peril.
Wood: Tanner, you ready over there? Y-yeah! In 3, 2, 1, go! All-wheel drive, baby! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Oh, stig's spinning the tires.
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Well, the stig has finally got some grip.
I'm right on his tail.
Oh, that horse is fast out of the hole.
Oh, man! Whoa! It's sliding up to the wall! That corvette is super fast.
I'm doing 125 miles an hour.
Now he's opening up.
Yeah, stiggy.
Oh! I'm overheating the front-right tire.
It's up to 49 pounds.
This is dangerous! All right, full throttle onto the straightaway! Come on, stig.
Here he comes.
Come on, baby, run! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Yeah! Ha ha! Hey! Whoo! That was awesome.
Yeah.
How'd I do? It's just when you see a car as fast as that z06 go around, and then you see this thing, like, running after it with a purse.
What was the time? Does it have a really cool exhaust? 'Cause I barely even heard it.
It sounded like it was a hybrid when it went by.
It was kind of quiet.
What was the time, 7 seconds? So you felt good about the run? Was it faster than 11 seconds? Was it slower than 11 seconds? No.
8 seconds.
You know when you have really bad news to give someone you're not sure how to give it to them? We don't want to crush you.
What was my time? How do you think you did? Man, I'd like to be in the 8, 9 range.
Something just faster than 11 would be good.
All right.
You were faster than 11.
Can we go? What was it? Come on.
4 seconds.
Yes! I mean, ooh.
Ah, played it like a real Porsche owner.
Yeah.
And people think they're not that nice.
What's next?! This is awesome! Ferrara: See? Ferrara: So, unsurprisingly, Tanner won a racing challenge.
And with one victory each under our belts, we embarked on the last leg of our epic journey through Colorado to our final stop Pikes peak.
Gentlemen, if you look at your 1:00 and you see that ominous white Mountain in the clouds, that is Pikes Peak.
Oh, wow.
[Epic music plays.]
At 14,000 feet, it waited for us in all its glory.
Home to the annual international hill climb race, Pikes Peak is the highest race course in America.
Its twisting, vicious switchbacks are carved into the Mountain with steep drop-offs that have claimed the lives of many seasoned racers.
You don't race this kind of course without scoping it out first.
If we were to survive, we needed to get the lay of the land.
Foust: Gentlemen, right here is the start of the Pikes Peak hill climb, right at that mark.
12.
7 miles, 156 hairpin turns.
Why do people race up here? This is stupid.
Foust: Once we get up to a place called "George's corner," we'll get to the timber line, and then it's just straight cliffs.
They range from 1,000 feet to 6,000 feet.
Wood: If the fear of 1,000-foot drop-offs wasn't enough, we'd be racing to the top at speeds over 100 miles per hour.
This is possibly the most dangerous road I have ever seen in my life.
Hey, when you ran the Pikes Peak hill climb, were you ever in a minivan? No.
Actually, nobody was, strangely enough.
I want to win so bad, but I do not want to die on this Mountain.
Ferrara: Wow! Look to your right, fellas.
Wood: Oh, my gosh.
That's insane.
Gentlemen, on your right, certain death.
He's blocking me! There's a cliff! Wood: Adam pushes Tanner to the brink.
Oh, he's going off! Foust: We were in Colorado competing to see who had chosen the best car for grown-ups.
After winning one challenge each, we were now on to Pikes Peak, home to one of the most dangerous races in the world.
In this final winner-takes-all challenge, we would race up the Mountain at speeds of over 100 miles an hour with 1,000-foot drop-offs and minimal guard rails.
We needed to determine where the race would end and scout the course to lessen the risk of going over the edge.
If you look to your left, you'll see certain death.
Oh, and if you look to your right, more death.
Hold on.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
It's completely snow-covered up there.
Oh, you are kidding.
Wood: Eight miles up, the road was snowed over, making it too dangerous to go on.
What are we, in outer space?! It's like the moon up here, isn't it? How high is this? We're probably like 12,500 feet right now, maybe 13,000.
Dude, this is so much crazier than any of the pictures and anything I've read make this seem.
This seems really fair, doesn't it? You know, you're about to vomit, and you've done this four times before.
Well, I've got a little home track advantage.
So, why don't you guys start first? Maybe you can go first, maybe 10-second gap there, and I'll take like a 30-second gap behind the two of you, race up to here.
This is where you want to finish? Yeah.
Don't go past that, because you're gonna go into the drifts and you'll get stuck.
And, since it's all tied up all around, first one to finish wins.
Ferrara: But even with our head starts, Tanner still had the upper hand.
Luckily, we had another brilliant idea.
What's the deal? What are you doing? We had a meeting.
We've thought a lot about it, and we just feel like we need to level the playing field a little bit.
You're already getting 30 seconds, and you're getting 40 seconds.
What do you need? Go get it.
Four times you've run this.
Yes, four times.
But 40 seconds is a lot.
Look, it's a baby! Ferrara: Eh? Hello, what's your name, beautiful? You want me to take that in my car? Yeah.
It's a family vehicle, right? It's fine.
Get in.
She's safe.
Foust: You guys.
Yeah, she's ready.
Well done.
Brother wood.
Baby's on a timer.
We'll be good to go.
You're a genius! Well, I do what I can.
These guys have completely lost it.
Okay, gentlemen.
Are we ready to race to the top? Let's do it.
Foust: Okay, Rutledge.
Don't look down.
In 3, 2, 1, go! Oh, just wheel-spinning fury.
All right.
I'm off, second gear.
Here we go.
Adam, go in 3, 2, 1, now! Here we go! Ha ha! All right.
In 30 seconds.
Okay, off to a good start.
Oh, this is it.
This is my chance to prove that this Odyssey is a winner.
Oh, yeah.
Downshift to second.
Here we go.
Sorry, not today, fellas.
Oh, there's ice! Oh, boy! Okay! Holy crap, it's hard to breathe up here! Oh [Bleep.]
this is fast.
Okay, easy in this one.
No sign of the little fella.
Okay, here I go in 5 [Baby crying.]
4, 3, 2 what the hell?! Go! [Crying continues.]
Oh, stop! Keep your food in the back! Coming to get you, Adam.
Oh, it's getting scary now.
I can't even see this turn.
There you go.
[Chuckles.]
Race boy should be knee deep in cheerios right about now.
[Crying continues.]
Stop spitting back there! Ohh, there's no guardrail.
Oh, 10-mile-an-hour turn.
Oh, wow.
Rut was showing amazing bravery.
Oh, I had to slow way down on that one.
Come on, baby.
Foust: But two miles up, Adam was beginning to catch up with him in the famous W's.
Come on, boost! [Cars whooshing.]
Climbing, climbing Oh, wow! I am higher than the trees! Wow! Oh, that's scary.
[Crying continues.]
There's Adam! I got him already.
There he is.
Ferrara: Even with a screaming, puking child in the back, race boy was coming up fast.
[Crying continues.]
Seriously?! It's like fingernails on a chalkboard.
It was hard enough trying not to fly off the road.
Hard on the brakes.
And now I had Tanner on my tail.
Okay, easy here in this one.
Foust: Oh, reeling him in on the scary turns.
Coming to get you, Adam.
Oh, look at the edge! Don't look at the edge! Don't look at the edge! Ferrara: Race boy already thinks I'm crazy, so I'm gonna use it to my advantage.
Foust: I got you now, Adam! Yeah, that's what I'm talking about! [Laughs.]
What?! He's blocking me! There's a cliff! Oh, you're not gonna get around me, race boy.
Adam, seriously! [Crying continues.]
Go! Let me over! Come on! Nuh-uh, nope! I got you now, buddy.
Coming to get ya.
What? Oh! Adam, watch out! Oh, he's going off! Wood: We had journeyed through Colorado in search of a car that could satisfy all of your practical family needs while still delivering the heart-pounding thrills of your teenage dreams.
And now we were on our final winner-takes-all race up Pikes Peak, the highest, most dangerous hill-climb course in the world.
Go! Having given us a head start, Tanner had caught up with Adam.
Foust: What?! He's blocking me! There's a cliff! [Baby crying.]
Adam, seriously! Nuh-uh, nope! I got you now, buddy.
Coming to get ya.
What? Oh! Adam, watch out! Wood: Oh, he's going off! Whoa! Ferrara: I tried to keep Tanner behind me, but I didn't want to kill the little fella.
And you call me the crazy one! Foust: Whoo! One down! But he still had to catch Rut, who was surprisingly far up the hill.
Oh, Rutledge, I'm coming for you, buddy.
Wood: Oh, here comes Tanner.
Oh, wide turn.
Oh, I got Rut in my sights now.
[Crying continues.]
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Oh.
Oh.
Come on, baby.
Get in second.
Come on, Rutledge.
That two-wheel drive is hurtin' coming out of those hairpins.
Oh, no.
Tanner's getting close.
Coming for you, Rut! [Crying continues.]
Come on, baby! Don't let him around you.
That's a Porsche.
Yes! Power! Come on, baby.
Yes! Ohh.
Oh, come on! Oh! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Come on! No! Are you kidding? He passed Rut on the outside with no guard rail! [Crying continues.]
See ya! Now with Tanner and his screaming baby in the lead, my dignity was on the line.
I desperately needed to overtake Rut and his steroid-enhanced mom van.
Ferrara: I got to get Rut.
Come on! Rut, get out of my way! Oh, Adam is all over my tail.
Yes! Oh, it's a little bit slippery up here! Wood: With only two turns left, Tanner was about to cross the finish line, and Adam was not letting up on me.
Come on.
Give me an opening, Rut.
Give me an opening.
[Crying continues.]
Yes! That is what I'm talking about right there! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Ferrara: Surprise, Tanner had won.
This was it.
It was do or die, my one chance to get Rut.
Oh, this is tight.
Here it is.
Here's my chance.
Aah! Oh, really? Oh, really? Ha ha! Yes! Yes! There it is! I had beaten Rut, but second isn't first as Tanner politely pointed out.
Foust: Yeah! Yeah! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! That's what I'm talking about, baby! Ferrara: [Groans.]
Oh, now you're gonna litter? That is gonna be there till spring.
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Pikes peak domination! Does this make me a poor loser?! No! It makes me a bad winner, but You almost killed yourself when you passed me.
You almost killed me.
I had trouble finding first gear, and then you just shoved me out of the way.
Oh, that's weird.
He almost pushed me off a ragged edge.
That's like a 1,000-foot drop.
Anyway, here's what we learned.
It was close.
It was close.
It came down to a race up one of the most epic pieces of road in this world.
And the Cayenne Turbo S proved itself as the best cool-dad car there is.
You guys have to give it up for that van.
You had a hard time catching up with me.
And I don't think you waited the full 30 seconds, for the record.
I did wait the full 30 seconds.
I tell you what, Rut.
I am very surprised the van even made it up here.
I am in no way surprised how well the wagon did.
Who knew? S.
U.
V.
I wasn't convinced until today.
Oh, God.
If I just admit that the Cayenne is the best, - can we get off the top of this Mountain, please? - Yes.
Then it's the best.
Fine.
Yes! It is the best, 'cause it's number one! That's what it is! [Laughter.]
What are you doing? Get back in your minivan.
Let's get out of here.
Whoo! The baby's more mature than you.
I think there is ice forming in my ear.
Ow! I got it in the face! Ohh, that hurts.