Top Gear (US) s05e09 Episode Script

Weekend Race Cars

1 Now, on "Top Gear" Taking all the ooh! Oh! It's an all-terrain battle on America's toughest racetrack That's it! to find the ultimate Weekend Race car.
Oh! This is a big one! And the winner gets to drive the most extreme off-road supercar through the Highlands of Scotland.
Let's face it work can be dull.
That's why over 130,000 Americans spice up their weekends by taking their daily drivers onto a racetrack, or a rally course, or even a mud bog.
But is there a daily driver that is versatile enough to handle all of these? "Top Gear" challenged us to find that car for under $5,000 and turn up at the Auto Club Speedway in Fontana, California.
The weekend starts here.
This is the 1999 Mazda Miata.
I chose this car because it's bare-bones, no-frills performance.
At only 2,400 pounds, this baby's lightweight enough that even with just 140 horsepower, it's enough to get me to the finish line first.
There's a reason there's a million of these babies on the street, and believe me, it wants to win, if you just let it.
And it definitely can beat that.
Really? A wagon? Not just any wagon The 2002 Subaru WRX.
My Subie featured a turbocharged 2-liter boxer engine, all-wheel drive, and a five-speed manual transmission.
And with room for five passengers and their stuff, it's 227 horsepower of rally-fighting awesomeness.
So, it's not only the perfect racer It's the perfect daily driver.
It could be the most perfect car ever made.
Were you an I.
T.
guy in another life? Rut, we're here to race.
Look at this thing.
It's a go-kart.
You could probably pick this up if you wanted to.
This is a man purse on wheels.
That goes fast.
Ish.
Adam apparently didn't get the memo.
I mean, what could you possibly do with that? - Where is he going with that? - Oh, gosh.
I don't know.
Oh, oh, oh! He's going so fast.
Really? It says "daily driver.
" This is not a daily driver.
Oh, of course it is.
This is a race car you can use as a daily driver.
Gentlemen, behold the 1969 Volkswagen Baja Bug.
My Bug has a 1.
5 liter motor, four-speed manual transmission, weighing in at a feather-light 1,800 pounds.
Add to that a three-inch lift, legendary German engineering, two deck stripes, and you have the perfect Weekend Racer.
This is quite possibly the most off-road-capable, rear-wheel-drive vehicle there is.
Until you come to a hill, because it has how much horsepower? Ooh.
Okay, it has approximately 90 horsepower.
- No.
- That's way high.
- I said "approximately.
" - Approximately, it's like 50.
50! - It's approx - 50 horsepower! It only weighs 1,800 pounds.
Lawn mowers have 50 horsepower.
You have to have something that's good at everything.
This is hardly good at anything.
All right, what are we doing with these things? Let's see.
"To prove who has chosen "the best all-around Weekend Race car, "you will compete in various styles of racing.
"In this first challenge, "to see which of your cars has the best aptitude on asphalt, "you will each do a hot lap around the track.
Fastest time wins.
" That's what I'm talking about.
Rut was up first.
One lap from a standstill.
You ready? Even the windows are slow.
Did you see that? Here's what I've got in my favor.
This thing's all-wheel drive, 227 horsepower.
It's the fastest car here.
We know that.
On the downside, this five-speed transmission a lot of people make the joke that it might actually be made of glass, so I have to be really smooth when I shift it, 'cause if you eat through a gear in this thing, then I'm gonna be toast.
Okay, Rut, you ready? Wagon attack! In three, two, one.
Go get the groceries.
All right, here we go.
Oh, down to second.
There it is.
Okay.
Oh, I got a little tire rub going on.
There oh whoa! He's finding his way around the track.
Going faster than I thought he would.
Up to fourth gear.
Here it is.
Come on, baby.
Oh, rotate.
Oh, I struck a lot of speed there.
Come on, baby, come on! Okay.
Is it good? I don't know.
Holy cow.
Whoo! Hold on, we'll give you a minute to get on out of that thing.
There you go.
Come on.
- There you go.
- Uh-oh.
Wow.
Did you guys see that? I was flying! Okay.
You're not even impressed a little bit? That was awesome.
I'll be honest with you.
We're impressed - No, not even a little bit.
- No.
What was my time? 1:37.
6.
Did the all-wheel drive help you? Uh Mm Give me a minute, gentlemen.
I'll show you how this is done.
Yeah, you'll show me what slow looks like.
Okay, my Bug wasn't built for asphalt, but I had a trick up my sleeve.
Oh, my God.
What did he do? Are those racing slicks? Huh? Look at that.
What do you mean, "look at that"? You can't put racing slicks on.
Why not? Everyone that races their cars changes their tires on the weekend.
This is the weekend.
What Adam didn't know is that he'd now made it dangerous.
Here's the thing.
A lot of people don't realize when you put sticky tires on something that's raised up, it flips easier.
Right to left isn't good in this thing.
Right to left usually means you're on your roof, so I'm gonna have to be careful.
You know, this racetrack is where they filmed the movie "Herbie.
" "Herbie Fully Loaded.
" - I love that.
- Yeah.
Lindsay Lohan's last great movie.
Before she got awesome.
"Before she got awesome"? - I don't know.
- What are you talking about? All right, you ready? Here we go, in three, two, one.
- Go.
- Here we go.
That's it.
Second gear.
Hey, is he gonna flip on the first corner? Come on, baby.
No, but he downshifted for it, which was considerate.
Okay, here's one of the prep things I got to be careful of flipping over.
The problem is, basically, turning.
And the straights are presenting a problem, too.
Now pick up some speed.
Pick up some speed.
Pick up some speed! Clearly, I wasn't gonna win this the long way around, so I decided to flatten out the corners a bit.
Cutting a few corners.
Whoa.
There he is.
Come on, come on, come on, come on! You got it! Here we go! Stop the clock! Unbelievable.
He still could flip it.
Sometimes, you got to do what you got to do and then hope it's enough.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh.
Ha! Uh-huh! Uh-huh? I hope you learned something.
Did you make all of the turns? It seemed like you kind of made your own path there in places.
I played to the strength of the Bug.
2:02.
Ah? 2:02.
With an asterisk for "still alive.
" Yeah, it's fine.
It's just it tends to roll over a little bit.
I'm you know what? These things do have a problem with rolling over.
The outside tire tucks in.
They go over real easy.
This place should be called Miata raceway.
I'm gonna show you why.
- That was good.
- Thank you.
Maybe you should move that so he can get his murse up here.
Tanner's a race-car driver, and we were at a racetrack.
Something needed to be done.
I mean, this is no problem.
You could beat us with your hand tied behind your back.
Well, that's neither here nor there, - is it, gentlemen? - No.
It's here.
No, you're not handcuffing me.
Yes, I am.
I found these in your bag.
You know what? It doesn't matter.
That's a little too tight.
All right, if anything goes wrong, your safe word is "teddy bear.
" - "Teddy bear.
" - Yeah.
- How's that? - I heard you.
It's good.
Frickin' teddy bear! See? I can hear you.
There' nothing to worry about.
All right, you ready? Yeah, I'm ready.
Here we go, powder puff, in three, two, one, go.
Oh, my gosh.
She's a bit slippery.
God, this is creepy.
Oh, forget it.
I'm not even braking.
Oh, I don't like this.
Oh, crap! Whoa! Coming up, Tanner gets dirty.
Oh! Whoa! And later, one of us gets to drive the ultimate all-terrain vehicle.
We were competing to see which daily driver was the most versatile Weekend Race car.
Adam had proven his Baja Bug could cut corners.
Come on, come on, come on, come on! Now it was my turn to beat them both on the racetrack, and I was gonna do it one-handed.
Oh, forget it.
I'm not even braking.
All I had to do was beat Rut's time of 1:37.
Whoa, the back tires are pretty greasy! Whoa! I'm gonna bite my arm off! It's just flat-out the whole way.
Go, go, go! - Damn, that thing zips, doesn't it? - Oh, he's too quick.
Go, third gear! I don't want to shift! I can't shift! Damn these chains! Come on! Here he comes.
Here he comes.
I hate him.
What's my time? - Tell him.
- I don't want to say it out loud.
1:33.
Yes! - You suck.
- Yes! - Get me out of this thing.
- You know what? Just follow us.
- That's yours.
- Let's go.
Guys! Hey! 18 years of racing.
I don't know what you're so happy about.
Hey! You almost got beat by me.
Being beaten by Tanner in pink handcuffs was just annoying.
Our next challenge was 30 miles away at Lake Elsinore and hopefully better suited for my Bug.
Okay, so, the Bug didn't do that good in the road course.
It's not made for that.
It's made for off-road.
Hopefully, our next challenge will be off-road and I'll show these guys why this was a great choice.
There are three things always kept in a Baja Bug A fifth of Wild Turkey, a machete, and a mullet.
See, I think these cars are perfect 'cause we only had 5 grand to spend.
You know, when I was racing my STI, that car was really expensive, so if I wrecked it, I was screwed.
But with this, a $5,000 car, I mean, it's not the most expensive thing in the world.
You could save up your money and get another car pretty quickly.
We arrived at the Pomona Fairplex Oh, yeah.
Host to car shows, horse racing, and, luckily for me, a whole lot of mud.
Watch the Bug come alive! Oh, God.
Now, now we're in Subaru country.
No, you have Welcome you to Bug world, my friend.
What are you guys talking about? This is Miata country.
You kidding? This is where you're gonna die.
You're gonna go into that mud, and it's gonna fill up that car, and we're never gonna see you again.
I'm gonna win.
Ooh, what are we doing? "Weekend races don't all take place on tarmac.
" No, they don't.
"And in many parts of America, "people use their daily drivers "to compete in races on or in mud.
"To see which of you has the best all-around race car, you will compete in a classic mud-bog race.
" First of all, what's classic about a mud-bog race? Second of all, that's, like, a hopped-up non-daily driver.
This is perfect.
This is where it's gonna shine.
With 50 horsepower.
You know what's gonna shine? The all-wheel drive turbo as I plow through that.
I'm going first.
Go right ahead with no ground clearance.
Rut could scoff all he wanted, but this was thick, quicksand-like mud 80 yards long and deeper than Tanner Foust.
So, I'm guessing right about there is where the nose is gonna submarine and he's gonna go in.
Are you boys ready to watch this Subaru carve through a little mud? Yeah.
You ready to bring it? I am so ready.
All-wheel-drive turbo power is about to come at you fast.
No ground clearance you're gonna sink.
Oh, this is it.
Come on, Subaru.
You know what to do.
Let's go! Here we go! Dig, baby! Dig! Dig in! Go! Go! Go! Don't stop! Don't stop! He's really going for it.
I don't think it's gonna make it.
Is he gonna? Is he? Oh! It's gonna make it! It's gonna make it! You sons of [Bleep.]
It looks a lot better.
- Now it does, yeah.
- Did you see that?! Yeah, we were standing right here.
Uh-huh.
I know what you're thinking.
"Wow, that was impressive.
" And I agree! 9 seconds, by the way, is what it took, in case you were wondering pretty slow.
You guys don't have a prayer.
It is so deep in there.
This thing just kept digging and clawing and digging and clawing, and then boom, I was out.
Who thinks Tanner should go next? Oh, I do.
You ready, Tanner? Yeah.
Remember, you don't start that time till I hit the green flags.
I'm gonna count you down.
Three Two, one.
Go! I have a plan.
Why is he backing up? Gonna tighten the belts.
It's gonna get real here in a second.
Oh, big surprise.
He's cheating.
No cheating from a race-car driver.
Dun-da-da-dun, dun-da-da Dun-dun-dun, da-da-dun-dun Da, da-da, da-da-da, da-da Oh! Oh! Whoa! Oh! Off-road comes a-knockin'.
And later, the hills are alive with the sound of Bowler.
We were testing daily drivers to see which would make the most versatile Weekend Race car.
Not surprisingly, Tanner beat us on the track.
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! But his Miata was about to meet its greatest Nemesis The mud bog.
And he had my Subaru's 9-second time to beat.
Dun-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da Da, da-da, da-da-da, da-da Oh! Oh! Whoa! Whoa! No! Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! Abandon ship! Pbht! Come on, you dirty, little - There it is.
Stick a fork in it.
- Done! Come on! Oh, wait a minute.
He's still moving.
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Yeah! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoa! - Pbht.
- Whoo-hoo-hoo! That's what I'm talking about! Oh, here it comes.
Like it was built for mud-bogging.
Best all-around weekend race car right here.
Perfect! I mean, it's like look at that thing.
It's even a better color now.
Well, I'll be honest.
I didn't think you were gonna make it.
I thought you were gonna sink, and I'm a little upset you didn't, but you made it.
You started in June.
It's now August, so it took you about a month.
What was the time? 41 seconds.
You still lost.
You know what? Now it's your chance to beat Tanner.
It's gonna feel good.
You won't beat me, but you will get a chance to beat Tanner.
And you're gonna learn how to deal with disappointment.
This is it.
The Bug was made for this.
I have ground clearance.
I have good tires.
I have no power and no torque, and I'm in a 45-year-old car, but other than that, this is my event.
As soon as the front tires make it into the mud, it's gonna yank the steering wheel out of his hands.
That's when it's gonna be Armageddon inside that little Bug.
[Bleep.]
and elbows everywhere.
It's gonna be like he's swatting bees in there.
Let's do this! All right.
Let her rip.
Here we go.
Hammer down.
Get in there, Bug! Get some, baby! Whoa! That's it! Yeah! I can't see a thing! Yeah, keep digging! Keep digging! Don't stall! Don't stall! Stop the clock! It's shut off.
It stalled, but I won.
- You're not through.
- Finish line.
- No, you have to get through.
- No, finish line.
- No, you have to get through.
- Finish line.
Technically, when he breaks the beam.
You son of a Oh, come on! I just washed this shirt.
Okay, since I don't have a horse in this race, I will say he broke the beam on the finish.
Technically, that's a finish, and he did 6 seconds.
6 seconds.
That is a miracle.
Yeah.
What's next? I don't know, but I could probably use a push.
- Not on the bumper! - I thought you said you needed a push.
With Tanner's dirty little Miata and my Bug tied at one apiece, we headed to our next location.
For the most part, our cars were holding up.
The mud bog it won.
The idle's still a little touchy, so it does kind of stall now and again, but I'm very happy with it so far.
Adam, the fact that your Bug looks more at home covered in mud than clean proves it's not a daily driver.
How do you figure that? What if you live in a flooded area? Where are you gonna put the kids? Where are you gonna put groceries? How are you gonna do any of the things you need to do on a daily basis? I can fit a bag of groceries.
I can fit a child in the back.
They're small.
It's fine.
The road got dustier, taking us to an off-road course that I knew well The Lake Elsinore Motorsports Park.
Had I realized we'd end up here Oh! I would have changed the shocks on my Miata.
That's sick.
That's gonna hurt.
That's suicide, right there.
I raced here two weeks ago.
I had to launch off that thing at 70 miles an hour every lap.
How'd you do? - I rolled on the corner over there.
- Yes, you did.
But still, I'm just saying, it's massive, massive jumps.
What are you worried about? You're driving that.
You're gonna wreck way before you hit that jump.
All right, gentlemen, pay attention.
"Suspension is important in all types of racing, "but none more so than off-road truck racing.
"To see which of your race cars "can handle this type of race the best, "you will compete door-to-door on the course behind you.
First one to cross the finish line wins.
" That is awesome! That is awesome.
All the suspension in that Miata is right between this vertebrae and that one.
Well, it's not a lot of suspension travel I guess 'cause you're short.
I've got one lap, all-wheel drive, 227 horsepower, and a helmet that's questionably fitting.
That is a recipe for success.
Adam's car is the best suited for this.
I just don't think he's got the power for it.
I'm kind of hoping that these guys start bumping each other, they both wreck each other, and I can cruise right past them.
I don't know if that's gonna happen or not, but I will be poised to strike.
You boys ready for this? Let's do it.
Oh, hell yes.
In three, two Go! Oh, come on, Tanner! Come on, I'm coming for you! Already got Rutledge off the line.
I'm gonna slow down for this jump, though.
Ooh! Oh, gosh! Oh I've left the ground.
Whoa! I feel like I'm losing suspension bits.
Oh, he is fast! It is rattling, but at least it's terribly unstable.
Oh, my God! Oh! Okay, Subaru, there you go.
There it is! Oh! Oh, now we got a race! No! Oh This is a big one.
Oh! Oh! Whoa! We were halfway home, and I was tired of following in Tanner's dust.
It was time to make a move.
No, he's got so much better grip out of the corners! Oh, he's cutting in front of me! Oh! Oh! Oh! Bug's coming to get you! I can barely keep up with the all-wheel-drive.
Whoa! Oh! Whoo! Oh, I hit my head on the roll cage.
I'm hitting my head everywhere.
Whoo! Tanner's got stuff falling off his car left and right.
Here we go.
Don't flip.
Don't flip.
Whoa! I'm taking the high line.
The finish line was in sight.
Time to show that wimpy Miata who's boss.
Oh, here's my chance.
Let the door open.
Get in there.
- Get in there.
- Oh, he's got a good slide! Oh, no! Coming to get you, buddy.
We play a game of chicken with gravity.
Oh! And the winner gets the keys to an all-terrain supercar.
We were competing to find the best, most versatile Weekend Race car.
So far, Tanner's Miata had won the asphalt, and my Bug had conquered the mud.
Don't stall! Don't stall! Stop the clock! Now Rut was trying to bounce his WRX to victory on the road course.
I'm taking the high line.
Downshift into the turn! Oh, here's my chance.
Let the door open.
Get in there.
Oh, he's got a good slide! Oh, no! It's coming down to the wire! No! I got ahead! Damn it.
They didn't wreck.
Tell me that I didn't just lose that.
Down to the wire! You just left that inside line, man.
You can't you know me.
I'll take that inside line all day.
Stop with Now the accent comes out? Station wagon.
You guys got beat by a station wagon.
With all-wheel drive and tread.
- My tread's gone from doing donuts.
- Mm-hmm.
Proud moment for wagon owners everywhere.
Okay, let's give him his moment.
- And we're done.
- Yeah.
Okay.
Let's go.
Can't wait to see what's next! What can't this thing handle? I'd finally proven my WRX was a worthy competitor.
Our last challenge was 40 miles away and would determine who would get the keys to one of the most powerful Weekend Racers ever made, costing a quarter of a million bucks.
But there was a time when, if you were creative enough, you could Weekend Race without even owning a car.
The ultimate weekend-warrior race car back in the day was a Mustang Hertz edition.
You could rent it, have the right motor, good suspension it was fast Bolt in a roll cage and race it.
Pretty soon, Hertz caught on to it, and they just looked for the tear marks in the carpet to see who'd bolted in the cages.
Look at these cars.
Are we killing these, or what? The Bug is still going And not stalling quite as much.
I think the Miata's just coming into its own.
So far, each of these cars has won at the thing it's really best at.
I mean, the Miata on the road course, the Bug in the mud bog, and the WRX on the off-road course.
Makes you wonder what's next.
And driving through an abandoned mining town didn't give us any clues.
But it probably meant we weren't hitting tarmac anytime soon.
Then, climbing up and up a giant gravel hill posed more questions than answers.
Wow, we are on top of the world here.
That was a fun climb.
That was a fun climb.
Good girl.
What kind of racing are you gonna do up here? I'm guessing downhill.
Let's see what we're doing.
"Weekend racing comes in many different forms, "and not always with brakes and an engine.
"For your final challenge, "you'll compete in a Soap Box Derby-style race down the hill behind you.
" What? "Last one to hit the brakes wins.
" Okay.
"Last one to hit the brakes wins.
" So, once you touch the brakes, you're out.
- Correct.
- This is a long hill.
Do you guys see how far down it goes? There are cliffs everywhere and hairpin turns.
Playing chicken, fellas.
- So, you're playing chicken with gravity.
- Yeah.
Did you ever race Soap Box Derby cars? Hell yeah.
Third in the region.
Of course you were.
Yeah, Monterey County, 19 We are about to have the biggest Soap Box Derby Race of all time.
There's a lot of danger here.
We're gonna be carrying a lot of speed down this hill.
It's steep, and on the sides, it's not forgiving.
It's not just gonna gently cushion you back to the center of the road.
No, these are giant slabs of marble.
I have good tires, so that's good.
The bad news is this thing will flip over if you sneeze hard, so it's pretty much bad news, to be honest with you.
To make sure that we don't hit the brakes, the horn is now tied into the brakes, so if you hit the brakes, the horn goes off.
You noticed the instructions never said anything about whoever crosses the line first.
That's just lame.
I mean, you got to cross the line first to win a Soap Box Derby.
I get it, "last one to hit the brakes.
" I'm not gonna hit the breaks, and I'm gonna cross the line first.
Gentlemen, you ready? Ready.
- Hold on.
- Keep her in neutral the whole time.
On "go," drop the hand brake.
You got it, Rut? Ready.
Okay.
Here we go.
In three Two, one.
Coasting! Dead even with Rutledge.
He's pulling ahead.
Adam's right there, too.
Okay.
See, I expected this 'cause I'm the lightest one here.
Picking up a little momentum.
And I have to keep my foot on the floor to keep it away from the brake pedal.
Damn it, that Subaru is heavy! Oh, oh, now we're picking up a little speed, a little yep.
Hello.
Oh, great.
I didn't count on the dust.
Oh, man, this thing is all over the place.
It's 40 miles an hour already, and I can't see! All right, big turn here.
Oh, speed around the corner.
I'm gonna take the inside.
Thanks, you guys! I'm blind in neutral, rolling down a mountain! Keep sliding.
Keep sliding.
Oh, rocks! Damn it.
Oh! There's Tanner.
Yes! I got to get back in front of him.
There it goes.
Yeah! Now we're really cooking with gas.
Oh, my gosh.
He's shooting rocks over my head.
Rutledge is sliding a bit.
Oh, I am flying! Coming to get you, buddy.
He's opening the door! Come on! Taking all the ooh! Oh! Oh! We were taking our Weekend Racers on the ultimate Soap Box Derby.
Whoever won would get to drive an off-road supercar through the Hills of Scotland.
Adam got lost in a cloud of dust.
So, now it was between Rut and I in a game of chicken, and as I caught up to him, I wanted to make sure he knew who ruled the roost.
Taking all the ooh! Oh! Oh! Oh, you're kidding! Aah! No! Damn it! What was that, man? We're in the clear! Unbelievable! I'm not even gonna have to use the brakes to stop! The donut at the end was a bad idea.
Oh, sometimes, victory tastes like Southern California desert dirt.
What was that, man? I had to hit the brakes 'cause I couldn't see anything.
As soon as the dust cleared from you two, there was a giant rock in my way.
- Whoo! - This guy didn't use the brakes.
He just bounced right off me, and then I went off-road.
Yeah, it was like a video game right there.
Did you see that? That was like, "pah-ching!" Anyway, good game, guys.
Miata best all-around Weekend Race car.
So, who feels like a trip to Scotland? Oh, yeah, you're not invited.
Sorry.
Just the winner.
It's It's choking up the lungs.
- The victory is it's deep.
- That's victory? Yeah, and don't feel that, do you? This is the Scottish Highlands, the last real wilderness in the British Isles.
An ancient land where swirling mists and rain obscure towering mountains and dark loch waters hide legendary monsters of the deep.
And that is why I'm here to confront a monster.
No, not Nessie something much more terrifying.
Whoo! This is the Bowler EXR S.
Oh, my God! My eyes are wide open! It's what happens when you mix a supercar with a rally car and a Baja truck.
They give birth to a monster.
The Bowler gets its design cues from the Range Rover Sport, and it shares its chassis, six-speed transmission, and its supercharged v-8.
But the 550 horsepower in the Bowler goes a lot further because it's lost a ton of weight Literally 2,000 pounds.
That means it can go zero to 60 in 4.
2 seconds.
That's as quick as an Aston Martin DB9.
Bowler Motorsports are a hugely successful British off-road racing team that make ridiculous machines out of a shed somewhere.
The EXR S is their first road-legal car, and the good news is they're finally making plans to build it in the USA.
The Weekend has found its warrior.
You could cruise the mall in Newport Beach or Orange County and still destroy the desert flatlands of Southern California.
The EXR S is based on the EXR, a fire-snorting rally-raid car that has tamed such illustrious races as the Paris Dakar.
I actually grew up in Scotland, and some of my first driving experiences were on roads here.
But I could never get out on the open public road 'cause I was only 10 years old.
Oh, my God, they're awesome.
Well, it certainly is fast.
I'll give it that.
I'm going 115 miles an hour in the wet.
Doesn't seem safe.
And at a cool 240 grand, it's not cheap, so the question is who is this car for? Is this gonna be your main family car? No, not if you want to stay married.
Could it be a great fourth, fifth, sixth car if you are someone with those kinds of means? Absolutely.
In essence, it's a competition car.
Sure, it's good on-road, but really it's made for one thing, and that's going off-road.
So, we decided to race it against something, but therein lies the rub, as Shakespeare used to say.
There's nothing out there that can do all the things this can do.
Well, nothing with four wheels, anyway.
So we found something on two.
This is Graham Jarvis on a Husaberg TE 300.
He is one of the most successful riders in the world at a sport called extreme enduro.
Now, while that sounds like a stamina pill, it's actually one of the craziest and toughest off-road motorcycle competitions on earth.
- All right.
Serving as our racecourse will be this beautiful, 80,000-acre Scottish Highlands estate.
We'll start here at this loch, and we'll carry down the beach, find our way through some gravel trails, forest roads, eventually making our way to the top of that summit in the clouds, where a cell-phone tower awaits as our finish line.
The course would be 25 miles.
I'd have to stick to the trail or risk getting stuck.
But Graham was free to pretty much go as the crow flies.
My work was cut out for me.
Ready? Okay, here we go.
Fire in the hole.
All right, Graham, here we go in three, two, one.
Go! I was in Scotland to drive the ultimate Weekend Race car The Bowler EXR S.
Fire in the hole.
And to put this competition beast to the test, I was about to race one of the toughest dirt bikes on the planet.
All right, Graham, here we go in three, two, one.
Go! And we're off! Four-wheel drive helping.
Ooh.
Sucked into the water.
And he pulls ahead.
He's got good grip on the sand.
But mine is better.
Got him.
Oh, no, I've got to go around the outside.
Oh! I hope I don't get water in the intake.
Oh, gosh, the windshield wipers aren't good.
Oh, it got over! I'm getting off the beach, though.
Time to hit the forest.
Oh, no, there he is! He's so quick! Onto the gravel we go.
Oh, he's fast on the dirt.
His power-to-weight ratio is nearly twice as much as mine.
Oh, we are flying.
Oh, my God, we are jumping everywhere.
The road is so narrow.
He's kind of holding me up a little bit on the gravel.
I could go much faster through here.
With two tons of Bowler about to take him out, Graham decided to take a shortcut.
There he goes! Time to hammer down.
Whoo! Ooh.
That's 100 miles an hour.
Whoo-hoo-hoo! Now we're having fun! And while my Bowler destroyed the gravel roads, Graham was flying through the woods.
Oh, there he is! Oh, he's in front of me again! Whatever I tried, I couldn't lose him.
He was like a Terminator on two wheels.
Up ahead was a locked gate blocking our way.
Oh, he's swerving off.
But what Graham didn't know True story.
The manager of this estate married some friends of my parents, and they gave me a key.
Let's see him find his way around this one.
While I opened the lock, Graham had jumped into a riverbed and taken the lead again.
One thing I will say Never leave an open gate in Scotland.
These guys love their sheep.
That's for sure.
Graham's river run had left me looking sheepish.
But we had 14 miles to go.
What the hell is he doing? The bike was now taking the direct route up the mountain toward the finish while my Bowler had to take the long way around by road.
I don't know what kind of shortcut that is, just climbing straight up the mountain.
If that works, honestly, my only hope is finding pavement.
I'm gonna have to go fast.
Whoa! There it is pavement, finally! And there's the mountain.
This is it.
Ooh, narrow bridge.
Nobody coming.
Looking good.
All right! Put the hammer down, baby! Whoo! It was now five miles by road to the finish Less for the bike, which was already halfway up the mountain.
My only hope was that Graham would be slowed down by the rough terrain.
But for him, this wasn't rough terrain.
This was home.
This is an eye-poppingly narrow road, and I'm going 95 miles an hour.
What an idiot.
I cannot see a damn thing.
I know my turn off the road is here somewhere.
Ooh, there it is.
Oh, geez, I almost missed it.
This was it A mile of zero-visibility Scottish hell trail to the finish.
And somewhere out there was a relentless cyborg called Graham.
I can't see anything.
I know he's up here somewhere.
Oh, no! There he is! How'd he get there? Damn it! Oh, no! He's out in front of me! Oh, he's spitting rock.
Holy crap, those are huge! Oh, my God.
I'm not gonna lie I've absolutely been getting the crap beat out of me.
I'm gaining on him, though.
Oh, now he there he goes.
Come on, baby.
Open road, baby.
With 800 yards to go, it was now or never.
I could only pray that the wet rocks would slow Graham down.
Good God.
I'm gonna have a chipped tooth and the worst heartburn ever after this.
Oh, my God, there it is! Aah, yeah! Oh, my gosh, I can't believe we made it up here.
Bowler has created a monster with this car.
We hadn't just climbed a mountain We were on top of the world.
Who cares if it costs more than a house? Who cares that it's a completely impractical daily driver? It's lightning-fast, tough as a tank, and insane, monstrous fun.
And I want one now.

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