Totally Spies! (2001) s01e26 Episode Script

Man or Machine

THEME SONG: Here we go again
and on the road till we stop.
And then we'll shop.
So 1, 2, 3 now, baby,
we will go, go, go.
Here we go.
Here we go on a
mission undercover,
and we're in control.
Here we go.
Here we go-oh-oh-oh.
We're the Totally Spies so
we'll get on with the show.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
[water flowing]
[computer sounds]
[helicopter sounds]
If you've just tuned in, we're
coming to you live from Niagara
Falls, [grunt] where
someone is turning
this national landmark into some
kind of dangerous water park.
What kind of sick
mind would do this?
[upbeat music]
[computer sounds]
Come on, Sammy, why
don't you blade with us?
Yeah, it doesn't matter that
you're a lame rollerblader.
You still at least
try to have some fun.
Ladies, and I
quote, "excess time
spent on recreational
activities could be better
spent exercising the mind."
I got a quote for you.
Go fish.
SECURITY GUARD: Well, well--
Look what we have here,
skaters and violators.
You know the rules, girls, no
rollerblading and no littering.
I was making a wish
and ran out of pennies.
Save it for someone who cares.
Thankfully a model citizen
alerted me to this situation.
It's them, Mr. Officer.
If you want, I can identify
each criminal in a line up.
The only thing criminal
here is your nasty haircut
and faux nails.
You can't believe
anything she says.
She's a notorious
rumor spreader.
Believe me, sir, I know
these girls all too well.
They're repeat
offenders and shouldn't
be free to roam the mall.
Now, now, this poor young lady
was merely doing a good deed.
Here, it's good for 20%
off anything in the mall.
I'll be back with
I didn't even do anything wrong.
Oh, that's right.
You didn't do anything, Miss--
Miss Sam No Fun.
(TOGETHER) Sam No Fun.
Cut it out.
Sam No Fun.
Stop it right now.
Afternoon, ladies.
You wouldn't have a blow
dryer in your back pocket,
would you, Jerr?
Sorry, only white
terry cloth beach towels.
You can take one home as a
souvenir after your mission.
You'll have to teach
me that sometime.
Sure thing.
Right after you get
something to wrap.
Now we've uncovered something
quite bizarre and troubling.
It seems various
world leaders have
been creating
dangerous thrill rides
in their respective countries.
(TOGETHER) Thrill rides?
In Germany, the chancellor
instructed the removal
of the lines on the autobahn.
He also added [inaudible].
Driving has become--
JERRY: --a reckless, road
raging, bumper car, speedway.
In Malaysia, the
prime minister has
programmed on the elevators
of the Petronas Towers
to drop 88 floors.
Lastly, the Brazilian
President ordered cables
cut on a suspended bridge.
Bus loads of tourists
were left dangling
over crocodile-infested waters.
Why when world leaders
convert safe national landmarks
into major danger zones?
Frankly, that's what
we need you to find out.
The Emperor of Japan's wife
is a former WOOHP agent.
Through her, you can get
direct access to your husband.
That's like sushi central.
Let's go.
Uh, wait for the gadgets--
one digit decoder card, one can
of Insta-Freeze Back-Off breath
spray, a pocket-sized
protracting lip spear,
the just sticky enough glue
gloves, the mini lint vac
battery decharger and CATS.
I'm more of a dog person.
It stands for Crystalline
Anti-Tri-Sect Shield.
As long as it's
litter box trained.
Yes, very amusing.
Hey, do you guys
think this bullet
train has a sushi bar on it?
[sniffing] Here fishy, fishy.
Let's just hope it takes us
to the Emperor's Palace soon.
I'd like to breathe again.
Can't you at least
try to have fun, Sam?
Where else can you experience
a nice smooth ride like this.
During an earthquake!
Since when do public
trains do loop-de-loops?
Can we just get out of here
before I lose my sashimi?
This digit decoder
card should do the trick.
I think we need a little
more purchasing power.
Credit cards, is there
anything they can't do?
Did we make it?
I think so.
Hey, there's the
Emperor's Palace.
[japanese music]
Who are the suits?
Something tells me this
isn't the welcoming committee.
You are making one
super-sized mistake,
Mr. Scary Japanese Guard?
I just learned a mean martial
arts move in gym class.
[martial arts grunts]
Hold, it.
I'm Keako, the Emperor's wife.
These are my guards.
What do you know?
This is the welcoming
committee after all.
Jerry told me you'd be coming.
Come with me.
If you need anything, Mr. Katsu
will be happy to assist you.
Uh, sorry, Katsu,
I never valet
park the designer originals.
Hello, ladies.
Hello, Mr. Emperor,
sir, master of masters,
ruler of the unruly.
[gasping] Huh?
Good bye, ladies.
Good bye.
OK, a man of few words?
Too few.
I got a feeling there's
something he's not telling us.
CLOVER: Well, then,
what are we waiting for?
Let's get to the bottom of this.
An entire palace
filled with neat stuff,
and we're stuck in
this bore-a-torium.
- Uh-oh.
- [gasp].
Could be the Emperor.
Get out you're just
sticky enough gloves.
You're sure these gloves
are sticking enough?
[machine sounds]
What's he doing
with that battery?
It looks like he's
charging himself.
The repeated words, stiff hand
gestures, the battery charger,
it's like he's some kind
of animatron. or something.
[unsticking sounds]
Uh-huh, just as I
suspected, the gloves
weren't sticky enough.
Girls, in here, quick.
What was that all about?
I don't know how to
say this, but, um, we
think the Emperor has been
replaced by an animatron.
Oh, my, that would explain
the Emperor's bizarre behavior.
Someone must have
abducted the real Emperor.
You girls must
find my husband.
He may be in great danger.
We'll do everything
we can, Your Highness.
Whoever abducted
the real emperor
must be using a
signal to control
the animatronic emperor.
We just need a way
to track the signal.
I've got it.
A compact?
It's a gadget
from my spy days.
That thing is
anything but light.
A compact with a satellite
dish, a compact-a-lite.
Regardless, it should
track the signal.
You can borrow the family jet.
It's very fast.
Not the shoes!
ALEXANDRA: We've got
to be getting close.
Because the beeping's
getting faster?
Because I can't hold
this thing anymore.
At least there aren't
any long lines.
Check out these footprints.
[beeping getting faster]
That's weird.
The signal seems to be
coming from beneath us.
Never did like
OK, so which way is out?
Not that way.
Oh, hi, um, we
were just leaving.
Are you sure you
wouldn't rather
just talk this out instead?
[grunting and gasping]
Back off, robot breath.
1, 2, 3.
I've had it.
There aren't any emperors down
here, just dirt and rats and--
MAN 1: [inaudible], so be quiet.
MAN 2: [inaudible],,
I was here first.
Irritable foreign men?
There's got to be a way in.
Hm, let me try something.
[grunt] Now I get it.
That martial arts
move was for taking
out doors not Japanese guards.
Whoa, there's got to be every
world leader in the world here.
Oh, no, more bad guys.
We're the good spies.
I've always wanted to say that.
Then you'd better
untie us quickly
before that doctor
finishes his plan
and makes us all
mysteriously disappear.
girls, but the park is closed.
Hello, intruders.
Welcome to my once
secret laboratory.
I am Dr. Eisenstein.
Dr. Eisenstein?
Yah, I know.
With a name like Eisenstein,
I knew I'd either have to be
a genius or create a monster.
I decided to do both.
[zapping sound]
So, doc, why replace
all the world's
leaders with your robots, to
show off your hidden talent?
I've be making animatrons
since you were a your girl
going to amusement
parks just to have fun.
You mean Sam used to have fun?
(TOGETHER) Sam No Fun.
Sam No Fun.
Sam No Fun.
My animatrons were the best.
Then game this new
invention, video games.
Now children would rather
move around a plastic joystick
than see a lifelike
swashbuckling fighter!
So you thought you'd
get back in the biz
by kidnapping world
leaders and replacing
them with your machine men?
I decided to get
revenge by making
my version of the greatest
rulers and programming
them to build
hazardous thrill rides.
The world will be my personal
amusement park until it
inevitably destroys itself.
OK, this guy puts
the "reek" in freak.
Yeah, that plans
stinks even more
than your average
Look at me.
I've been having
all the fun so far.
Don't worry, girls.
I promise to make it up
to you by letting you try
my favorite ride in the park.
Now, allow me to explain
how to ride works.
When the car you're in
gets up to 15 rotations,
the ride will blow up.
In other words,
after the explosion,
my cotton candy will have
more of a form than you girls.
Ooh, and remember
to keep your hands
and feet inside the
vehicle at all times.
You wouldn't want to get hurt.
[evil laughter]
Sarcastic much?
We're in the fifth
rotation already!
Don't worry.
I'm sure we'll figure a way out
of this soon, any second now.
[gasp] The lip spear--
if only I could reach it.
13 rotations!
Got it!
Oops, guess we forgot
to keep our hands
and feet inside the
vehicle at all times.
Where'd all the
world leaders go?
Load 'em up, boys.
This trailer's is
already late for a date,
off a bridge, that is.
Now, which robot did
I program to drive?
Driving them into the river,
like how mysterious is that?
We've to catch that trailer.
But how?
[horn honking]
Shot gun.
They're getting away.
Don't we have a gadget we
can use to catch up to them?
We don't need no
stinkin' gadget.
Are you sure this
is such a good idea?
How does this thing work?
SAM: Like this.
We did it!
Hey, what's with world leaders
and their drab gray suits?
Would it kill them
to throw a little
white into their wardrobes?
Don't worry.
We're going to return you
all to your countries.
Now all we have to
do is return leaders
and deactivate the
animatrons before Eisenstein
realizes he's lost his trailer.
First stop, Malaysia.
But how are we going to find
the Malaysian animatron?
He turned the Petronas Towers
elevators into a deadly ride
on the WOOHP tape
Jerry showed us.
Then that's
where we're headed.
[computer sounds]
OK, so how exactly does
one go about deactivating
an animatron?
This mini lint vac
battery decharger should
suck the life out of him.
Only problem is how do
we get close enough?
Now I can get as close as I want
to that phony prime minister.
Jerry forgot to
charge the battery.
How techno lame.
Doesn't he know it's
like a cell phone?
No juice, no use.
- That's it?
- Huh
What's it?
Your cell phone--
we can use the power from that.
Here, give it to me.
[scoffs] What if I get
a really important call?
Here you go.
Now, be careful.
It might be slightly
more powerful.
Excuse me, Mr.
Prime Minister, sir.
Yes, soldier?
Um, are my medals
on correctly?
[gasp] Back off, you creep!
Get out of the way!
He's gonna blow!
That's one down.
Now let's take care of
the rest of the world.
[computer sounds]
Where to next,
the Land Down Under?
I don't know about
under, but we'll
be going down if Eisenstein
has anything to say about it.
We've got to protect
the world leaders.
We'll put it on autopilot.
- Look out, [inaudible].
- Help, please!
Everyone stay calm.
We've got the situation
under control.
Hello, ladies.
So nice to see you again.
We've taken down your little
henchmen robots before.
Hm, yeah, that's true.
Perhaps this time I
should have some support.
On second thought,
everybody panic.
Eliminate them all!
Maybe if we just hide
back here they'll go away.
That'll teach you
to mess with my hair.
We've got to get the
leaders out of here.
Sucks, don't it?
Spread out!
You heard your
boss, eliminate me.
I hope you're equipped
with built-in parachutes.
Quick, everyone into the tube.
Time to let the
CATS out of the bag.
[grunting] Help.
Help me.
We really should help him out.
All right.
Ready to give up
your practice, doc?
[gasp] You're an animatron!
But if he's an animatron,
then someone had to build him.
Unless he built himself.
But [chuckling] I don't see how.
My head hurts.
The real live Dr. Eisenstein
created me in his image
before he passed on.
It was his way of being im--
But unfortunately he programmed
me to self-destruct if I
ever give out that information.
[slowing down] Well, girls,
it was fun for a [inaudible]..
That was, like,
totally unexpected.
Look, this must
control the animatrons.
Hopefully that's the end
of Dr. Eisenstein's robots
Let's get inside the plane
and get these leaders home.
[japanese music]
Anybody home?
Oh, thank you so much
for saving my husband.
Yes, excellent work, girls.
It was our pleasure.
It was the least we could
do for a fellow WOOHP spy.
You girls should take a
vacation after that assignment.
Why bother?
We've been every place in the
world in the last 24 hours.
Every place except home.
[computer sounds]
[banjo music]
week on "Troy's Bayou."
What gives, you lame-os?
Let's go to the
rollerblade park.
You want to go to
the rollerblade park?
All that talk about thrill rides
got me psyched up to have fun.
Go away.
I'm wiped.
[sighing] You're right.
We should stay home, blob out,
and order some yummy takeout.
(TOGETHER) Love it!
Ah, hello?
Yes, I'd like to
order egg rolls,
shrimp fried rice, and some
Clover and Alex No Fun.
Oh, no.
Clover and Alex No Fun!
Clover and Alex No Fun!
Hey, this is fun!
Clover and Alex No Fun.
Oh, Clover and Alex so tired.
Clover and Alex No Fun.
Ah, ha-ha-ha-ha.
Eat my dust.
[theme music]
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