True Jackson, VP (2008) s01e19 Episode Script

True Jackson, VP Was filmed in front Of a live studio audience.
If I were A professional wrestler, You know what my name would be? Dr.
Lazy? No.
Mr.
Boring? No.
El stinko de underpants.
No.
Then I have no idea.
Kid dynamite.
What do you thijk About that, True? I'm sorry.
What? Don't you think kid dynamite Would be a good name for me If I was a wrestler? Is Dr.
Lazy already taken? True, I have your pillow samples.
Thanks, Oscar.
Pillow samples? Come to papa.
Hands off, papa.
These are for my presentation.
Wow, those are really nice.
They'd be perfect for a bedroom Or a living room or a Pillow fight.
No, this is work.
No fighting.
But I'm kid dynamite, I live to fight.
You're gonna fight to live If I see you messin' With my pillows.
This is for my presentation Tomorrow And it's gonna take me All night to prepare.
All night? What about Mikey j's party? That's tonight? True, we've talked about this Like a million times.
You just told me yesterday.
Yeah, and we've had, like, A million conversations Since then.
Mikey j.
Is having everyone over While his parents Are at a super long movie.
The magnificent case Of Reginald raincoat, Three hours and 20 minutes Of nonstop boredom.
He's not making that up.
That's what it says On the poster.
So you're coming, right? Yeah, totally.
I just gotta make sure Everything's done For the presentation.
Let me check with Oscar About what time that is.
Hey, Oscar, what time Is the pillow presentation Tomorrow? A.
M.
? No, the year 7 b.
C.
Oscar? I am so sorry.
I'm just a little out of sorts, Not sure why.
Well, I guess Everyone deserves To be a little cranky Every now and then.
Whatever.
Oscar? Why is the meeting so early? Something to do with Doris.
She's redoing Max's townhouse Now that she's moving in.
Oh boy.
Guys.
It's not what it looks like.
from my head to my toes it's all real and you know fresh and cool it's just what I do t-r-u-e-j-a-c-k-s-o-n-v-p working at a grown up job I never really knew I could work this hard used to sit at home and watch tv now I'm in an office as the new VP I'm always setting trends with my two best friends when things get out of hand we have a plan we just messin' around and we making new ground for the whole wide world to see if you see us in town you know it's going down cause I'm the new VP people, people, Settle down.
Settle down.
Mr.
Madigan, Nobody's talking.
I know.
I just like saying that.
It's powerful.
Before we begin, I think you should all know That my lovely bride Doris Feels the office Should be feng shui.
I know You're the boss and all, But I'm a kid, So maybe you should watch Your language.
Feng shui Isn't a swear word, True.
It's a chinese ritual For making changes to a space To improve the creative flow.
I knew that.
No, I didn't.
For instance, Doris feels That one chair in a room Should always remain empty.
Ah, yes.
That does feel better.
We'll also be making Other small changes Around the office.
Like what? Last night, We moved Oscar's desk Two feet closer to the elevator.
Small changes, big results.
Okay, shall we begin? Amanda, I believe You have some skirt designs To show me.
I do indeed.
Presenting stars and skirts Forever.
Hmmm.
I know.
Thank you.
Amanda, obviously, I have great respect for you, But I was expecting something, A little more hip, well, these are very hip.
Tell him, True.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
My mom wears skirts like that All the time.
Not helping.
These colors will be terrific For a line of shawls Or lap blankets.
We could call it mature couture.
Care to head up the campaign? You mean old people clothes? People who are seconds away From dying Deserve to look great too.
Hey, I think we have our slogan.
Oh, that's lovely.
Not at all sad.
Then it's settled.
True, are you ready For your pillow presentation Tomorrow? Not really.
Can we do it Friday instead? You know, Friday's not very good for me.
How's tomorrow? I just said I'd rather not do it tomorrow.
I just said I'd rather you did.
But I'm not ready then get ready.
People, people, Settle down, settle down.
I really do like saying that.
True, is there a reason You can't prepare tonight? I kind of promised Ryan and Lulu I'd go to a party.
They're having snacks.
Can you believe this? We'll do it Friday.
But settle down! People, settle down! I can go to the party.
That's great.
Hey, you guys Cleaned up pretty good.
Yup.
We re-stuffed all the pillows With their feathers And maybe my left shoe.
Thanks.
I have a lot to do In the next two hours If I'm gonna go to Mikey's, Get market research, Assemble sample books, Go to production.
Need any help? I don't think she heard you.
Whew.
Hey, kids.
Something We can help you with? I'd like to get inside Of your head.
Good deal.
As subtle as you can, Call the police.
Let me get Right to the point.
I'd like you to help me Get more in touch With today's youth.
Lulu's boyfriend, Mikey j, Is having a party tonight.
Are you crazy? I mean, are you crazy And forgot that the party Is totally not tonight? Well, when is it? On the night you're not free.
Tuesdays.
You're busy Tuesday? Yes.
It's Tuesday.
Come on, Lulu, I won't do anything To embarrass you.
Let me come to Mikey j's.
Fine, you can come.
It's tonight.
Great.
Oh, grab a cab and pick me up At, say, 11:00.
Ma'am, we're children.
Oh yes, of course.
What time is the party? But if you really wanna see How we roll, We'll do dinner first at 5:00.
Ever been to a little bistro Called snackleberry junction? That hobo themed Burger restaurant? Bingo.
That's the name of the hobo.
Hi, Oscar.
What is it? Nothin', I was just saying hi.
Ecch.
Guys, what did I tell you About goofing around With my pillows? Oh, this time Were not goofing around.
This time We're actually fighting.
Why? It's really not a big deal.
I merely invited Amanda To Mikey j's party.
You did what, now? True, may I? Go for it.
I think that was the one With the shoe in it.
Awesome, you made it.
True's coming later.
Awesome.
This is our friend, Amanda.
Lulu invited her.
Nice to meet you, ma'am.
Make yourself at home, Sit wherever you like.
Except my dad's club chair.
Thank you.
And is there some sort Of vip area Or is this the whole party? This is the whole party.
Very good.
Is there a catering tent In the back or This is the whole party.
But there's free snacks Chips, doodles, whiffles and I'm fine.
We took her To my favorite restaurant.
Snackleberry j's? Bingo.
Don't mention That filthy hobo.
He put his phone number In my chili.
Well, I better go Check on the snacks.
Enjoy the party And don't forget, Do not sit on my dad's chair.
That's your boyfriend? Yeah, why? Oh, no reason.
He just seemed A bit formal with you.
Is that bad? No.
No, no, no.
Yes.
Don't look.
What is it? I think kelsey's here.
Just don't look.
Who's kelsey? My ex-girlfriend.
Just don't look.
Well, what does it matter If I look? I don't know Any of these children.
Well, if you look And she sees you, It's this whole thing.
Just don't look.
Oops.
What? I looked.
Do you think she saw me? Don't look.
Hey, you.
No.
Did you just call me? Yeah.
Get me a fizzy water With a Twist of lime, will you? There you are.
Is everything okay? I don't know, Lulu.
I just don't know.
What do you mean? What's going on? I thought the whiffles Would be the most popular, But everyone's eating the chips.
If it keeps going like this, We'll be completely out Before 7:00.
That's not what I meant.
Now somebody else is here.
What if they want chips too? I'll look in the pantry.
You get the door.
Nice talking to you.
You made it.
Of course, I made it.
How's the party? Great? How's Mikey? Great.
Really? No.
He's barely paying Any attention to me.
I don't know what's going on.
Well, Have you tried any tricks? You mean, like, Asking him to pick a card Then making that same card Appear in a paper bag Across the room? Can you do that? No.
I'm talking About girl tricks, Like flipping your hair, Blinking, doing the wiggly walk.
Guys like that? Yeah.
Works for my aunt tonesha.
You should see her Walk down the street.
Cars driving into fire hydrants.
Cops falling into manholes.
She made a blind man whistle.
Great.
I'll try it.
Hey, girl.
Oh, hi.
What was that? I've know Shelly Since kindergarten.
We shared a cubby.
Maybe she was in a rush.
To get where? The whole party's right here.
Hey, kids.
Get me a plate of appetizers, Will you? Amanda, you have to help me.
I don't think so.
No, kelsey's Right over there.
I need you to pretend To be my girlfriend.
Yeah.
I'm not gonna do that.
What do you mean You'll óeet me in the closet In five minutes? We just got here.
Hey, Shelly, what's the deal? I don't know What you're referring to.
That, the way you're talking.
Oh, the way I'm talking? Yeah, you're still doing it.
I'm still doing it? Yes.
Come on, Shelly, We shared a cubby.
If you got a problem, say it.
Fine.
Ever since you got This fancy new job, It's like you're better Than everybody.
That's not True.
You can't even go to a party Without bringing your new posse.
What posse? Oh.
Hi, True.
I'm going to see If there's any caviar In the snack room.
Amanda's not my posse.
I didn't even invite her.
Honestly, I don't hang out With people from work.
That will be, like, Totally pathetic.
Knock, knock.
It's party o'clock.
Who's that? My boss.
Mr.
Madigan, What are you doing here? Oh, Doris is burning sage At our townhouse.
It's a ritual to get rid Of anything with bad energy.
And it made you leave? No, no, no.
It's just that I'm terribly allergic to smoke.
It's one of the main reasons I never became a chimney sweep.
Well, I don't think This is your kind of party.
Chicken fight! Excuse me, won't you? I was a champion chicken fighter At state.
Hey, Mikey.
Lulu, I'm glad you're here.
You are? Yeah.
This doesn't seem pushy, Does it? Oh, you.
Are you okay? Did you get something In your eye And then step on something? I'm fine.
I've barely seen you all night.
You wanna hang out? It's my parents.
Be quiet, everybody.
It's my parents.
Everybody be quiet.
Hi, mom.
No.
No, I'm not throwing some party.
I'm throwing The awesomest party ever.
Woo.
Say hi to my parents.
Why did you tell everyone To be quiet? So I could hear my folks.
Yeah.
Yeah, The chips went really fast.
Hey, do you know Where the bathroom is? No idea.
I've been using the sink.
Look out, Hong Kong spooky.
What are you watching? Hong Kong spooky.
It's a g-g-g-ghoul.
Hey, remember we saw that When it first came out.
No.
Sure you do.
Remember, you kept screaming And throwing your popcorn In the air And then the Usher came over To tell you to knock it off And you got startled You squirted him in the face With hairspray? That was pretty awesome.
Right? Look, I'm sorry I was icing you before.
It's just I miss the old you.
You got the wrong idea About me.
I am not all work.
Hi.
Mom.
Mom? True, production needs to know How many books to prepare For the presentation Friday.
Spaghetti sounds great.
Can you hear me? I'm calling about the books For your presentation.
Why don't we say 50 Meatballs? I love meatballs.
And don't forget To collate the garlic bread.
That's how they do it in Italy.
Muy delicioso.
Now are you going to be needing A slide projector? That sounds yummy.
Thanks, oscar mom.
I call her Oscar mom.
A little game we play.
Bye, Oscar mom.
I pressed the wrong button.
Get over it.
That's my mom.
Yeah.
Right.
Stair sledding.
Mr.
Madigan, are you okay? I knew there was a reason I put on padded underpants This morning.
Hey, True.
Why the long face? Shelly said that ever since I started working at mad style, I've put all my friendships Second.
Can you believe that? Right.
The nerve.
Wait.
You don't agree with her, Do you? No.
Not at all.
A little.
It's sort of True.
I can't believe you guys.
I'm jetting.
Cowabunga! Sorry, tumbles.
Where are you going, True? Anywhere but here.
All my friends are mad at me.
Forget this.
What's the problem? They all think I care more about my job Than hanging out, Which isn't True, And so what if it is? Staff meeting.
Staff meeting.
No one knows what that is, Sir.
People, people, settle down.
I just don't get tired Of saying that.
It is quite powerful.
I have called this meeting To discuss an issue at hand.
This is a meeting? Is this about the chips? Listen.
If you put enough dip On a whiffle, It'll taste just like a chip.
Calm down, son.
Well, aren't you A strapping young man.
I understand your Uncle kopelman Works for me.
Splendid.
Out! Better.
Now, True, What seems to be the problem? My friends are mad at me Because they think I work too much.
This is True's first party In three months.
I see.
So you're just fulfilling Your work responsibilities.
Exactly.
Thank you.
But what about your Friendship responsibilities? My what now? True, being a friend means Being there for your friends.
That's what I'm saying.
Remember that time You wet your drawers And hid 'em in my cubby? I never told anybody.
You just did, In front of everyone At a High School party.
Oh, I was just kidding, Everyone.
That never happened.
She just sat on the juice box.
Good cover, Shelly.
Max, are we going to get To any actual business? What are we doing here? Ganging up on me.
We're not ganging up on you.
I just miss Some of the fun stuff We all did together.
I miss all that too, But I have no choice.
I have a big job.
It is a big job.
That's why I'm taking you off The colorful cottons project.
Mr.
Madigan, You can't do that.
I already started it.
And Amanda can finish it.
Are you sure It's not too youthful for me? Of course not.
You're the second youngest Executive at the company.
Mr.
Madigan, I can do the project, really.
No, True.
parties and chicken fights And just plain goofing off.
But I can do it if meeting adjourned.
Meeting adjourned.
No one knows what that is, Sir.
Oh.
Then how about this? A dance off.
Fun party, huh? It was Until three seconds ago.
Good one.
Hah.
There you are, Pumpkin.
Listen, I'm very sorry to inform you But Ryan is with me now.
Who's Ryan? This guy.
I thought his name was Carl? You said you used to date That girl.
It is entirely possible I exaggerated.
How well do you know her? Her hair once touched My math book in assembly.
Hey, Ryan.
Are you really dating That business lady? Yeah.
It is what it is.
Oh, 'cause I was gonna ask If you wanna dance.
We just broke up.
There you are.
Don't you have a punch bowl To refill or some dip emergency? Huh? We're supposed To be going out And you've been ignoring me All night.
Ignoring you? I did all this for you.
It's our three week aversary.
It is? Yeah.
This is the longest relationship I've ever had, Beating my previous record Of never.
I guess I just wanted tonight To be perfect.
Oh.
Wow.
You know, it is perfect.
So, should I hug you? I don't really know How it works.
Ryan, You're such a good dancer.
Oh, that is nothing.
I'm just getting started.
Oh, come on! Oscar, you look terrible.
You look terrible.
Sorry.
I just something's not right But I can't figure it out.
I am back.
Mad style, How may I direct your call? It's not what it looks like.
I was just wondering, Did you finish that report? Not yet.
Good for you.
Incoming.
I'm sorry.
Are we in a middle of a meeting? Amanda, Would you still like to know What young people find fun? Yes.