True Jackson, VP (2008) s02e30 Episode Script

232 - Ditch Day

True Jackson, VP was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
Do you smell hotdogs? No.
Wait, yes.
I got them at the baseball game.
But it's not baseball season.
It certainly is not.
This one seems okay though.
Hey, True.
I have your revised schedule.
You wanna hear it? Can it wait? I'm pretty busy.
Actually, based on this new schedule, you've gone from pretty busy to pretty super crazy busy.
Oh, no.
What happened? Production called.
They need everything you're working on done by this week.
There's no way I can do it all in a week.
When am I supposed to relax? I can fit in half an hour next Thursday.
I can help.
Put me to work.
Thanks, but the last time you helped, you erased my hard drive.
In my defense, I had no idea what I was doing.
Well, if you really want to help, you can sort out those big rolls of fabric.
Wow, this would be a million times easier if I had mondo moth with me.
Who's that, some stupid character from one of your comic books? Stupid? He happens to be a 500-pound crime-fighting moth.
Forget I asked.
After being hit by lightning, mondo moth was given the power to speak.
What do you suppose a 500-pound moth would sound like? Good morning, children.
Amanda, I just found out production needs all my projects by the end of the week.
So can you help me? Well, I'd love to, but I'm only halfway through the chuff a report, so I can't.
Chuff a report? That sounds made up.
That was close.
Hey, Jimmy.
Hey, True.
It's my mom's birthday.
You have any ideas what I should get her? How about a handsome son? I'm just kidding.
She's already got one of those.
I was thinking since she's the manager of my band, I'd get her a new outfit for when she has meetings at record labels.
Good idea.
Or maybe a spacesuit for when she goes to planet narnak.
What's that supposed to mean? Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought we were talking about things that were never gonna happen.
You don't think fire and ice is gonna get signed? I think your mom's got a better chance being elected vice overlord of narnak.
True, Lulu.
Yeah, Mr.
Madigan? I have an important project and I need volunteers.
True and Lulu can do it.
I'm busy making headway on the chuff a report.
Chuff a report? Well, that sounds made up.
Well, it come along, girls.
This will require your undivided attention for the rest of the day.
Oscar, we're unreachable.
Copy that.
Madigan, I already have more work than I can do.
Sometimes business requires working harder than one would think humanly possible.
And sometimes you have to blow it all off and do something fun.
What? We're playing hooky.
This is sort of like ditch day at school.
Except it's usually not the teacher's idea.
Ladies? Yippee.
From my head to my toes it's all real and you know fresh and cool it's just what I do t-r-u-e j-a-c-k-s-o-n v-p working at a grown-up job I never really knew I could work this hard used to sit at home and watch tv now I'm in an office as the new vp I'm always setting trends with my two best friends when things get out of hand we have a plan we're just messin' around and we're making new ground for the whole wide world to see if you see us in town you know it's going down 'cause I'm the new vp Is there any place more fun than the mall? I know.
A water park made out of candy.
Do those even exist? No.
But I bet Mr.
Madigan could have one made.
I tried.
The sugar was murder on the drainage system.
Worst $80 million I ever spent.
You guys wanna get something to eat? I'm curious to try just egg rolls.
I wonder what they make.
Food can wait, ladies.
We have something we need to do first.
I give you the wishing fountain.
You're giving it to us? I'm not giving it to you.
It's an expression.
Oh, what do you have to wish for, Mr.
Madigan? Don't you already have everything? Oh, it's not for me.
I have a little tradition.
I come here every year and listen to people's wishes as they toss coins into the fountain.
Then I choose someone and make their wish come True.
That's so cool.
It's amazing.
Well, here goes.
Oh, no, no.
It has to be a stranger.
Oh, then I'm getting my quarter back.
Lulu, please, I'll give you a quarter.
Yeah, like you gave me that fountain.
What kind of wishes have you granted before? Well, one young man wanted to impress a girl he thought was his greatest love.
So I set him up with singing and dancing lessons.
Did it work? Not really.
He discovered his even greater love was musical theater and got a job in the road show of dickens on ice.
At least it had a happy ending.
It did for delighted audiences around the world.
Another time, a woman was homesick for her village in Norway.
So I flew the entire town out to visit her.
It was wildly expensive, but it made her wish come True.
Wouldn't it have been cheaper to just fly her back to see the village? Yes.
Here's someone now.
Excuse me, ma'am.
Can I ask what you wished for? World peace.
Let's wait for the next person.
Egg roll? I hope Uncle Max doesn't find out I blew off work to come to the mall.
Don't worry about it.
He's doing some all day work thing with True and Lulu.
After I get a present for my mom, I have to pick up new drumsticks.
Why don't you pick up some drum lessons while you're at it? Is that another shot? I thought you liked fire and ice.
I prefer to listen to actual fire and ice.
We happen to be amazing.
And that's not an opinion, either.
It's fact.
Here's another fact: You guys stink.
I'm just kidding.
Here's the dress store.
Shouldn't we get a little closer? We don't have to.
Lulu can read lips.
It's True.
See that guy over there? He's saying, "why is that girl staring at me? "She's still doing it.
"It's really creepy.
Let's get out of here.
" Okay, they left.
That looks like a nice boy.
What did he say? He said he wished he were brave.
What if you pretend you're a thief trying to steal.
Lulu's purse? And when that kid steps up to help us, you run off, crying like a baby.
I'll bet that would make him feel brave.
You go stand next to him and I'll be by shortly to Rob you.
Hi, I'm True, and this is Lulu.
What's your name? Joe.
Nice fountain, huh? I hope it's safe here.
I'd hate for someone to steal my purse.
Lulu, don't worry.
Joe's here.
He'll protect us.
I'm snatching your purse.
Somebody do something.
Chase him down and punch him in the back, Joe.
I don't know.
He looked pretty dangerous.
Really? That guy looked dangerous? I'm getting away.
No, you're not.
Snatching purses, huh? We frown on that here at the mall.
No, no, officer.
It's a bit of a misunderstanding.
I can explain.
Save it for your mall lawyer, 'cause you're going to mall jail.
Mall jail? Mr.
Don't worry about me, True.
Stick to the mission.
Stick to the mission.
I'm so glad I got away from a day of looking at dresses at mad style so I could come here and look at dresses with you.
Don't worry, I'll be quick.
What do you think? Love it.
Me, too.
But I don't know if it's the right size.
Try it on, will you? I'm sorry, what? You're about the same size and shape as my mom.
Are you insane? I'm not putting on a dress.
Don't be a baby.
How is not wanting to wear a dress being a baby? Come on, you wanna spend all day here? Just do it.
I'll take you for lunch at just egg rolls, on me.
You think I can be bribed with egg rolls? Please.
And a soda.
Dressing rooms are this way? What are we gonna do about Mr.
Madigan? He'll be fine.
Besides, we still have to figure out a way to make Joe feel brave.
It'd sure be easier if we had Mr.
Madigan's money.
We could fly a village of cowards out to boost his confidence.
Boost his confidence.
That's it.
Hey, thanks again for scaring away that purse robber.
I didn't scare him away.
He was escaping.
Right into the arms of the law.
Good job, hero.
I think we can all sleep a lot easier tonight knowing Joe's on the job.
Yeah, I sort of don't know what you're talking about.
Joe, the truth is we overheard you wishing you were brave.
So what's going on? Why do you wish you were brave? Well, there's a mall bully and he won't let me go to the food court.
Why not? Who knows? He's a bully.
He doesn't have to have a reason.
Dealing with bullies is easy.
You just have to know how to talk to them.
Really? Oh, yeah.
We deal with bullies all the time.
There's a bunch at school.
And one at work.
Listen to me, you insane turtle.
If you don't bring this to Mitchell in the copy room a-s-a-p, you'll be eating steak through a straw.
That doesn't even make sense.
Because I'll punch your teeth in.
Oh, now I get it.
I've got a ton of work left to do on the chuff a report, so when you get back, I don't want to be disturbed.
How's it look? The cut is nice, but it could use some more pleating around the waist.
I hear you, but if there's too much fabric around the midline, it'll look bulky and won't flow.
That's True.
You think we've worked at mad style too long? Possibly.
Hey, I should get a new shirt while we're here for my next gig.
Something that will really pop.
Like your fan's eardrums.
I'm just kidding.
You don't have any fans.
Zinger, you are on fire today.
Let's take a look at that dress in this mirror.
That's a door.
So it is.
Let me in.
Not until you admit fire and ice is a great band.
I won't do it.
Fire and ice stinks.
You just cost yourself an egg roll and a soda.
And I'm not opening this door.
Joke's on you.
I'll just walk around to the front of the store in this dress.
Hey, don't mind if I do.
Excuse me, are you the mall bully? Depends who's asking.
We heard you're not letting our friend Joe go to the food court.
Yeah, he's not allowed over here.
Why not? I'm the bully.
I don't need a reason.
Why don't you take your lame weave and your stupid face and get out of my air space? Excuse me.
Oh, you should have not said that.
Listen up, jerk, that sort of thing might apply with the little kids, but you're in my world now.
So if I ever, and I mean ever, catch you looking at me funny, I will drag you out the mall by your neck.
And I know I can 'cause you got a big old neck.
You look like a cartoon giraffe.
Do you understand? Do you understand?! Oh, no.
I didn't mean to do that.
I'm so mad at myself.
Why didn't I film that? You are mean.
I'm so sorry.
Here, let me help you up.
Get away from me, both of you.
Just get away from me.
What's going on here then? Those two bullies pushed me into the fountain.
Couple of bullies, huh? We're not the bullies.
He's the bully.
The kid you pushed into the fountain? Right.
Okay, let's go.
Where? I'll ask the questions.
But to answer your question, you're going to mall jail.
Got some company for you.
What are you in for? True made a bully cry.
It's a long story.
Well, we got nothing but time.
Where did you get the harmonica? They give them to you when you're arrested.
Here we go.
Can I get a red one? Red one.
Okay, let's see.
Here we go.
Nicely done.
You guys are fast learners.
So it's cool if we take off? No can do.
Officer, we were just trying to do something nice for a stranger.
Isn't that right, Mr.
Madigan? I'm not singing for no warden.
Madigan? I'll rot in this cell before I make friends with the man.
We're not making friends with the man.
We're just explaining the situation to avoid rotting.
We have to get out so we can make things right with Joe.
Right away.
Love to stay and chat, but I gotta get to court, the food court.
Madigan, why were you being so mean to the officer? He's the only one who can let us out of here.
Wrong again, True.
I can get us out of here.
How? I've been working on a tunnel.
It's hidden behind this poster.
Really? Behold the tunnel.
What tunnel? All I see are a bunch of scratches on the wall.
It'll take a little time, I'll give you that.
But on the other side of this wall is a little thing I call freedom.
How long you think it's gonna take us to get to the freedom? One year.
I'm calling Jimmy.
Hello? Hey, Jimmy.
It's me, True.
Blue? Not blue, True.
Jimmy's got the junkiest cell phone.
I need your help.
I'm at the mall.
What ball? Not ball, mall.
We got arrested for bullying a kid and now we can't Wait, you're at the mall.
I'm at the mall.
What? I'm buying a dress for my mom.
I'm with Ryan, but Ryan said mean stuff about fire and ice so I pushed him out the door in a dress huh? I said not again.
Hello? Hello? What did he say? I don't know.
It kinda sounded like he said Ryan is walking around the mall in a dress.
What are you doing here? I thought you were too busy to help True do her work? I am.
I happen to be here on very high-priority fashion research.
Really? No.
I'm playing hooky.
Please don't tell on me.
Don't worry.
I'll keep your secret if you keep mine.
What's your secret? I'm in a nothing.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna tear through every designer store in this mall like it was hit by a cyclone.
That's a lovely dress, young man.
Thank you.
Did you pay for it? Did I pay for it? You wanna explain why you're wearing a dress? Some other time.
It could use more pleating around the waist.
I know.
Well, 4:00, time for me to go the roof and yell at the pigeons.
I thought he'd never leave.
Why is Mr.
Madigan carving his name in the wall? He's tunneling out.
With a spoon? You've got a better plan, laserbeam? We could call Amanda.
She's here.
Amanda's at the mall? Well, I thought she was too busy to help me with all my work.
Let me borrow your phone.
Amanda cantwell.
Amanda, it's Max.
Where are you? I'm here in my office, working away.
Oscar, can you bring me the revised chuff a report? Ryan said he saw you at the mall.
That's preposterous.
Why would I be at the mall on a work day? Yeah, just put it on my desk, Oscar.
Thank you.
Ryan seemed quite certain you were here.
Max, who are you gonna believe, me or a dumb kid in a dress? How did you know he was wearing a dress? That was close.
I'm sorry to bother you.
Would you mind holding this duffel bag while I use the restroom? I don't see why not.
Thank you.
Thank goodness you've come to rescue us.
I'm not.
Apparently there's some law against holding a large bag of stolen money.
Where's my harmonica? Can I get a red one? We're all out.
What are you all in for? Purse snatching.
Stolen dress.
Bullying a bully.
Accessory after the fact.
I'm getting a bit concerned.
We're running out of people to get us out of here.
Don't worry.
I finally got through to Jimmy and told him where we were.
What did he say? He said it's hero time.
Hero time.
I'll have a gladiator meatball sub and a Caesar salad.
Baby, whenever I see ya I'm so happy to see ya I want to explode just like fire and ice Did you write that song? Yes, I did.
You can't just put someone in jail for writing a song you don't like.
That's no crime.
It is in my mall.
I'm just waiting for the day maroon 5 wanders in here.
I got five harmonicas with their names on them.
Officer Hooley, how much longer are you gonna hold us? End of the day.
That's policy.
But we're not bullies.
Sounds exactly like something a bully would say.
No, it doesn't.
Bullies enjoy being bullies.
Right, Amanda? It's a lifestyle choice.
Who's that? Shhh.
Hey, officer Hooley, who's that a picture of on the wall? Abraham Lincoln.
I never noticed he had so much hair in his nose.
I don't see any hair in his nose.
I mean ears.
Yeah, they're pretty bushy.
I don't mean to tell you your business, Hooley, but shouldn't you be out doing rounds? There could be bullies out there.
Or purse thieves.
Or dudes in dresses.
Or an incredibly polite bank robber.
Or accomplished but misunderstood songwriters.
I should probably head out.
Wait a second.
You did it.
You got the key.
Quick, let us out.
What about us? Well, you're a purse snatcher.
Not usually.
It's okay, you can let them out.
Even the robot? Yeah, her, too.
You know, a nice pair of pumps will tie that all together.
Yeah, I don't think I'm come, I'll take you.
Good work, Joe.
You saved us.
Well, it's the least I could do.
You're trying to save me.
Still, it was very brave.
It was? Doing something you believe in, even when authority stands in the way, is the bravest thing one can do.
Madigan's pretty smart.
If he says you're brave, you're brave.
Now, we should probably head out before that power-mad mall cop gets back.
Even though I was this close to finishing my tunnel.
You know what we're doing while we're here? Getting you a new phone.
What are you talking about? This phone works great.
All things considered, today was a pretty fun day.
Enjoy it now.
Tomorrow we're back to pretty super crazy busy.
It's okay.
Amanda will help.
Right, Amanda? Right.
Really? No.
Hey, Jimmy.
I'm sorry for calling your band terrible.
No, seriously.
I guess I get jealous sometimes.
Not being able to play an instrument, missing out on all the fun.
It is pretty fun being great.
So anyway, I'm sorry.
I wonder if other people at mad style ditch work sometimes.
Probably not.
It's a pretty serious company.
Kopelman? I was pretty sure I had a cage full of prisoners here.
It's okay, Hooley.
They're gone.
Everything went exactly as planned.
And the little boy felt brave? He did.
Every now and then it feels good to do something selfless.
It does, doesn't it? You got my money? Right here.
I always say, you can't put a price on wishes.
Oh, by the way, check out my tunnel.
Not bad.