Trying (2020) s04e08 Episode Script

Scott of the Atlantic

I'm rowing the Atlantic Ocean today.
Oh, wow. Good luck.
Oh, God, it's that season again.
There'll be nowhere to park.
[JASON] Okay, guys.
- So, this "launch" is at 12:00
which means it is gonna be
quite tight getting back for kickoff.
So as soon as he changes his
mind, we're back in the car.
Last match of the
season. Are you nervous?
I am a little bit actually. Yeah.
Although if we don't get
a yellow card this game,
it means we've come off the
bottom of the disciplinary table.
- Mm-hmm?
- That's four matches in a row without a fight.
And last Saturday was the first match
that the referee didn't have
to hide in his car at halftime.
- Honestly
- [NIKKI] Ooh.
I couldn't be prouder of this team.
Let's make an Atlantic-Ocean-
rowing-mix-up-road-trip playlist.
- [PRINCESS] Yeah.
- We're gonna be at the coast in four minutes.
No, that's fine. Compiling
it is the best bit.
- Billy Ocean.
- "(Sitting On) the Dock of the Bay."
- "Sail Away."
No, that's wrong because that's
about sailing, not rowing.
- Ooh, The Cure! Yes!
- How's that work?
Well, 'cause they're a new wave
band and waves are on the ocean.
[GASPS] The Lighthouse Family.
Yes! Good shout.
Oh, have you had your exam
results emailed through yet?
- I don't know where it's got to actually.
- Oh.
"Surfin' in the USA."
That's the wrong ocean.
Jase, if you're not gonna
take this seriously then,
- I'll throw you in the sea.
You're overdressed for this.
Well, I've never been
to a boat launch before.
You're not going to one now.
Will everyone stop talking
like this is a real thing?
It's just gonna be Scott flailing
around in a blow-up dinghy.
Obviously, my 50-year-old husband,
who has to arrange his
body before he coughs
so he doesn't put his back
out, is not rowing the Atlantic.
I bought champagne and a banner.
[KAREN] Well, do you know what?
If people weren't so quick
to make banners every time,
then maybe this sort of
thing wouldn't keep happening.
And besides, I found
some tickets he bought us
to go and see Ed Sheeran
at Wembley, in September.
He's got no intention of being in
the mid-Atlantic. I can assure you.
What the hell has he done?
Does that mean you have a
spare ticket for Ed Sheeran?
They have vetoed vinyl, and
Sorry, Freddy. Excuse us. Right.
Come here.
- Scott, who are all these people?
- Hmm?
My American sponsors hired
them for, uh for final prep.
- You've got American sponsors? [CHUCKLES]
- I do. Yeah. Yeah.
You know, it's actually really handy
having people eight hours behind.
Means there's always someone
awake during my night terrors.
And you don't think that
night terrors are maybe a sign
that this has gone too far?
No one ever achieved anything
without a few night terrors.
Scott, come on.
I admit you've taken this
further than most but, you know
We all know you're not
actually going to do this.
I hate to disagree with you, but
in my mind, I'm already out there.
Oh, I got you something.
Um, I'm not gonna be here
for your birthday, obviously,
and so I wanted you to have this now.
I thought maybe you could take Nikki.
Well, you know, maybe it's
time to make up with her
or at least take some
of the drama out of it.
There's no drama, Scott.
I'm just not talking to her.
Hmm. It's just, I think
you're gonna need her,
you know, while I'm away.
[JASON] Hey.
Hey. What's the matter with you?
You were supposed to just
coach him for a couple of weeks
and then lose interest
like you always do.
What can I say? I'm growing.
Well, it's very annoying
and it's probably gonna
kill my brother-in-law.
He's sort of inspired me to move
beyond what I thought possible.
Oh, bloody Not Not
Not you as well. You
Wha Oh, no. No. No.
I asked out my Pilates teacher.
I mean, she said no, but at
least I don't have to go anymore.
- Okay.
- [SCOTT] I've got it. [CHUCKLES]
Ooh! Uh. Oh! Haven't got it.
Hang on. Hang on, mate. Wait
there. I'll help you out.
That's all right. I've
He'll be fine.
Is that another lady friend?
Yeah. Well, at my age it's
five women to every man,
so as long as you can get
dressed and not soil yourself.
And increasingly with
the ones in the homes,
- even that's not the red line it was.
- Hmm.
As long as you apologize.
Oh, look at that. Oh, that's lovely.
Princess, have your exam results
still not come through yet?
No. I told you, not yet.
Oh. Just keep refreshing your email.
I can't believe they're
still not speaking.
Oh, I like it. I'm the go-between.
They've not talked to
me this much for years.
You got the forecabin, the
rigger and Oh, my God.
Look at the size of that oarlock.
Well, that's taken me
by surprise, that has,
and I prepared myself for a biggun.
Yeah. Vic, can we talk?
[NIKKI] All right.
- Debbie wants a sex life.
- Oh.
I wouldn't mind, but [SIGHS]
she wants it with me.
And, um, you you don't?
I mean, cavorting round half-naked,
it's just not realistic at my age.
I'm a pensioner.
I can't afford to have
the heating up that high.
[SIGHS] I don't want
her sleeping on the mattress.
I lost Sandra in the sofa,
but there's still the shape
of her in the memory foam.
Someone else sleeps on it, she'll go.
She'll be erased.
Before you make any decisions,
um, why don't you think about
the things that you do like
about spending time with her?
[SCOTT] Get all the
life jackets, okay? Yep.
Maybe he'll be okay.
I mean, you've taught him well.
You're a rower. You should know.
Well, actually, I was only ever
social secretary of the rowing club.
They didn't let me row.
This was big for me.
[SCOTT] Ooh. You're fine. You're
fine. That's right. There it is. Easy.
[SIGHS] Bloody hell.
Are you okay?
Am I the only sane one here
who can see this is madness?
I mean, are we are we
actually gonna let this happen?
People do it.
The thing you're worried about
is never the thing that gets you.
That's too predictable.
The guy rowing an ocean, he's fine.
It's the bloke driving home from
the launch, whistling a tune,
that's who you should be worried about.
Plus, it's been a very
mild season on the Atlantic.
Well, how do you know?
I've been researching. I got an app.
You downloaded an app?
What you gotta watch out for is the
surface pressure causing cold air
that mixes with the warm water.
That creates fog.
- But it's been very good this summer.
Ooh, I've got an alert
set up for updates.
You downloaded an app
and you set up alerts?
[NIKKI] God, I've missed you.
I am sorry that I didn't
tell you about Princess.
It's okay.
My life is full of things I wish
I didn't know. [INHALES DEEPLY]
Okay. Enough is enough.
- [SCOTT] Ooh. Oi, what are you doing?
- Karen! Karen!
It's stupid! It's stupid!
- K-Karen!
- Karen!
- You're not gonna go!
- What are you doing?
- No!
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Wait. Okay. O okay, okay. Okay.
- Let go! [PANTING]
This is my fault. I've
never appreciated you
and now you feel you have to
do this to be worth something.
That's not why I'm doing
this, and you do appreciate me.
No, I don't.
Sometimes when you
start telling me a story,
you ask me if you've told me before
and I say yes, even when you haven't,
'cause I just can't
be bothered to listen.
- Oh.
- And now
I'm actually scared that you mean this
and that you're actually gonna
- I'm really scared!
- No, no, no.
Please stop hitting the boat.
It's what keeps the water out.
I know I haven't been as supportive
of your efforts on climate change
- as I should've been but
- It isn't just about that.
[SIGHS] Look
this can't be another
thing I nearly do, okay?
I I can't have already done the
most impressive thing I'll ever do.
That can't be it. I-I-I
It can't all be behind me.
I can sense something bad is
gonna happen to you. I know it.
I think you're gonna die.
I am asking you to stay.
A person who loves you
is asking you to stay.
However, um, a slight change of plan.
Yeah, I've decided not to go, but
[STAMMERS] a point's been made
and, uh and we've
started a conversation,
and and that's
that's the main thing.
S-So we I Yeah.
All right, everyone back in the cars.
At least we'll be back in
time for the football, hey?
Told you we should've only
paid for an hour's parking.
Okay. Um
- Yeah, let's just go.
- Okay.
You did the right thing.
- The water bottle. That's it. Okay.
- Whoo!
Let's get warmed up,
shall we? Come on. Big day.
Okay. That's it.
- Hello. Aw. [CHUCKLES]
- Hey.
"Ass. Man."?
Assistant manager.
They charged per letter, I
didn't really think it through.
Last game, so let's leave it
all out on the field. All right?
[JASON] Hey, mate, you all right?
All right, let's get warming up.
Oh, my God. Look. Look-y.
They've got those ladder things.
It's another world, man.
Go, Cuttlefish!
All right, let's see some shuffling.
Hello, mate. You all right?
Yeah, just this win for the league.
Yeah. Saw that. Well done. Well done.
You took away the two
worst players, didn't you?
- Huh?
- No, I'm only kidding, mate.
- That's just my way.
- Well, no.
You know, for for
me, sport's about more
than, uh, just just the winning.
It's about them building relationships
and learning how to
manage difficult emotions.
Yeah, uh, well, best of luck in the
Managing Your Emotions World Cup.
No, you've done well with that lot.
There's a limit to some of these
kids, isn't there? What they can do.
At least you ain't got a load of parents
in your earhole like me. [CHUCKLES]
Suppose that's the, uh
that's the benefits of coaching a
bunch of orphans, innit? [CHUCKLES]
No, I'm only kidding, mate.
- That's just my way.
- No. Yeah.
All right, 10 press-ups now. Come on.
Quicker. Quicker. Come on.
Honestly Honestly, I just
wanna punch him full in the face.
Oh. Hello, Noah. What are you
do What are you doing here, mate?
- Jason, just a word to the wise.
- Go on.
Got some VIPs in the crowd.
Potential parents for Michael.
Oh, okay. Well, that's
that's fantastic news.
- Aw.
- Yeah, they seem like nice people.
They've got a rosemary plant in
their kitchen, which is a good sign.
So, I was hoping we could see
Michael at his best behavior today.
You know, avoid any
last-minute doubts from them.
Okay. Then I'll tell you what
I'll do. I'll move him off the wing
because their winger's got a
ponytail, that's asking for trouble.
Don't worry, he'll be good as gold.
- Michael.
Quick word, mate. Listen.
[NIKKI] Kick it.
Kick it right! Eyes forward!
Kick it! Go on, Tyler!
- Ah!
- Still no email?
- No.
I don't know what's going on with that.
I j I just keep thinking about
how no one in Mallorca
had heard of my mum.
No. No. No one.
It's just so weird 'cause
she was there so recently.
Yeah, I know. I know.
I wish I'd not wasted that time.
I actually could have
done okay in the exams.
I'm way smarter than
these crybaby vitamin kids.
- Oi, you are the smartest person I know.
I mean
- it's not a strong field, I admit.
The person in second place
had to be cut out of a life
jacket earlier, so [CHUCKLES]
- Okay. [CHUCKLES]
Go for one, Max!
everyone, that's halftime.
Beautifully managed, okay?
Well done, mate. Few good touches
there. Fantastic stuff, mate.
Yeah, it's going I think
it's going really well,
- all things considered.
- Aren't we 3-nil down?
Yeah, but the slope
on the pitch is insane
- and they got the wind behind them, so
- [NIKKI] Okay.
Honestly, if you could see
how far this team has come.
You know, there was no fights today
and one of the other team was
wearing a friendship bracelet
and reading a newspaper.
- It's amazing from us.
These kids, it doesn't
even occur to them
that they're gonna win, does it?
At 11, they already know that.
Maybe if they were a bit
more on the front foot.
Look, winning is being able to
control and regulate their moods enough
to be able to sit in a classroom.
And do you know what? It might
not be the worst life lesson
for them to learn how
to be on a defensive.
'Cause let's face it,
that might be their lives.
[MAX] What?
Not you though, mate. No. No.
[STAMMERS] Some other kids I know.
Go Well done. You get some
water. Good lad. Good lad.
You know, anger can take you a long way.
Yeah, but some people are
allowed to be angry, aren't they?
And some aren't.
- Just gonna go to the toilet.
- Okay.
[PARENT] Yeah, I was gonna
wait until full-time to do this,
but I think the other team has
pretty much given up. Bless them.
- Ah, yeah, it looks good like that.
- the other sign. Here we are.
Yeah. Are those the gold
Guys, come here.
Gather around, I wanna have
a little chat with you, okay?
Come here, come here, come here.
Look, I've taken something away
from you that I wanna give back.
No, not your fireworks.
You're not getting them back.
- All right?
I took away your anger.
And I took away your anger
because I wanted you to fit in.
But I don't need you to fit in
anymore, because you are different.
And I don't know, maybe it's because
your brains formed differently
- at an early age. Or
- Our brains are different?
- Let's not focus on that.
- That seems like a big thing.
It's a good thing.
Being different is a
really, really good thing.
The world needs different people.
Who do you think sings the songs,
and writes the books, and
the films, and all that?
Adopted children are two times more
likely to become serial killers.
That's not really the
vibe that I would Look,
I'm gonna be honest with you,
life for you might not always
be an even playing field.
But for the next 30
minutes, we've got the slope.
So, I want you to think about
every single thing in your life
that has ever made you angry.
And I want you to go out there
and smash these posh,
two-parent wankers to bits.
- Yeah!
- Come on!
Rub the head for a bit of luck!
That's it, bit of good luck.
All right, let's go! Come on!
- Listen, if we're gonna win this ugly
- Mm-hmm?
then I don't want Michael's
"maybe parents" to see it.
- So I need you to distract them.
- Right. Yes.
- Yeah, but how?
- I don't know, just get them out of here.
- Right, okay. Yeah.
- All right? Okay.
- Jase, Jase, Jase.
- Yeah?
- You're brilliant. No.
- I don't know about that.
- You are. Okay.
- [ASSISTANT] Cuttlefish! Come on!
- Cuttlefish!
- [ASSISTANT] Louder!
- Cuttlefish! Cuttlefish!
- Louder!
- What are we gonna do?
- I have no idea. Just follow my lead.
- Hello. Hi, I'm Nikki.
- Oh.
- Oh, hello. [CHUCKLES]
- Yes. An experienced adopter.
- Oh.
- Yeah, this is my daughter, Princess.
- Hi.
- Hi.
[STAMMERS] Fancy a coffee?
Oh. Is there enough time?
- Yes.
- [JASON] test out every tackle?
- Great. Yes. Come on then.
- Are we gonna go in hard? Yeah!
- Yeah!
- Are we gonna enjoy ourselves? Yeah!
- Yeah!
- Come on, let's go!
- Come on. Uh, this way. [CHUCKLES]
- Ooh. Okay. [CHUCKLES]
Boom. Yes.
So, what do you do, Mark?
Oh. Well, I'm an actuary. [CHUCKLES]
Shut up.
Princess, we've got an actuary.
Shut up.
- Oh, my God.
- I have so many questions.
- Really? Oh, okay.
- Yeah.
Uh, well, fire away, I suppose.
So, um, what is
- an actuary?
- Mmm. Mmm.
[JASON] Yes! All right.
That's it. Run back. Run back.
Loving you. Stay in
their faces. That's it
- That's it! Come on!
All right, guys. Le-Let's keep
the celebrations respectful.
- [SHOUTS] Yeah.
- Okay.
- Well done.
Uh, okay.
Well, again, it's using
statistics to assess risk,
and then developing policies to
minimize the cost of that risk.
Yes, yes, yes.
- Should we head back? Uh
- Oh. Yeah.
Oh, um, what is it that you do?
- Well, uh, I am an actuary too.
- Oh.
- Oh.
Well, then, all the exact
same questions to you. [LAUGHS]
Oh. Yeah, that's that's a bit spicy.
- That's definitely a bit naughty.
Oh, God. No! Stop! Stop!
- Hey, hey! Back up.
- S stop! Stop the violence.
Come on, kids. Get out of my face.
That's everything I know about
probability distributions.
- Aw.
- Aw.
- [CHUCKLES] So, uh, shall we head back?
- Yeah.
- [NIKKI] Oh.
- Thank you so much.
- [MARK] Thanks, guys.
- [PARTNER] Thank you. [CHUCKLES]
I I've gone blind!
- Oh.
Oh, no! We missed the
end of the match. [SCOFFS]
- It's gone.
- What? [CHUCKLES]
- Shall we exit? Uh
- All right. Thanks.
- Sorry. It's kind of my go-to.
- Right.
Mine is I can't hear out of this ear.
- Oh, that's better.
- I know. [CHUCKLES]
Did we win?
No, we drew 3-all, but it means
we stopped them from winning the league.
- Yes!
- Come on.
- [LAUGHS] Oh, well done. [CHUCKLES]
- Oh. This is the song
that I was telling you about.
- It's quite catchy.
- [NIKKI] Wow.
- [PLAYERS] It's big, it's round
- [JASON] Yeah, there you go.
it takes up half
the ground. Jason's head!
- [NIKKI] Whoop! Whoop! [CHUCKLES]
- Jason's head!
It's big, it's round,
- it takes up half the ground. Jason's
- I passed!
- She passed! [SCREAMING]
- Oh, come on.
- There you go. See?
- Barely, but I passed. [CHUCKLES]
- She passed! [CHUCKLES]
Oh, we have to celebrate. Mum,
have you still got that champagne?
- Some of it, yeah.
- Jason, quick word?
- Yes, mate. Yeah.
Hey, mate, you want a beer?
They're not very cold, I'm afraid.
- Jill, love.
- Oh, thanks.
- Yeah, I'm good.
- Yeah, you happy?
- [VIC] Yeah.
- Can I get you anything?
- [VIC] No, no. I'm fine.
- [NIKKI] All right.
Now, come to me for a tackle.
Fair barge. Fair barge.
Fair barge. All right?
So, Dad, for your art, you got
an eight which is basically
- That's an A.
- An A.
- It's not?
So few painters are recognized
in their own lifetime.
- Mum, Vic, you got fives which is a C.
- Oh.
- [NIKKI] Yeah. Yeah. [CHUCKLES]
- [VIC] A C?
- Whoo! [CHUCKLES]
Deserves more, but what do you
expect from a bunch of Marxists?
[NIKKI] All right, let's have
a photograph. We need a photo.
Come on, Jase, we're gonna do a photo.
Yeah. Tall ones at the back.
- No, Mum, you've got to get in it.
- No, no.
Mum Mum, get in it.
- Come on, Nik.
- Get in it.
Right. Three, two, and say cheese.
- [ALL] Cheese!
- Yeah!
- [NIKKI] Oh.
- I'll get it.
[NIKKI] Oh, that's lovely.
I want the footballers. I want
a picture with the footballers.
Hey. Congratulations.
Come on. Come in. They're all in there.
- Oh. Is Scott here yet?
- No, not yet. No.
Oh. That is weird. He
should be here by now.
- Hello.
- Hey, come on.
[NIKKI] Karen.
Have this.
- Oh.
- Come here.
I was thinking about what
it is I liked about dating.
I like fixing things.
Just not people 'cause you never
know when you're done with people.
They don't just click into
place like a shelving unit.
- So
Tyler did it for me.
It's a viral, I think.
[NIKKI] Oh. Thank you.
Oh. Oh. What did Noah
say? Did he tell you off?
No, he didn't tell me off. He, um
He asked me if I wanted to
be a social worker, actually.
Well, train to be one anyway.
Right. And
what did you say?
Well, I said I'd talk
to you first obviously,
but I would really like to say yes.
Although it is a
it's a two-year course.
How How do you feel about that?
About being a student again.
I mean, I can't be a taxi
driver forever, can I?
And, you know, the kids are older now.
Don't need me to stay
with them all the time.
And, um
I f I feel like
I would be good at it.
I feel like I could really help people.
What's that face for now?
I think I just heard you
click like a shelving unit.
- Although, you do know what this means?
- Mmm? What?
Well, I finally completed
your transformation,
and I must move on to the other men.
- That's probably for the best, actually.
- Oh.
Yeah. Well, it's a
waste having a girlfriend
when you're in college, innit?
Oh, Mum, can I see the
photos? I wanna post them.
Yes. Yeah. My phone's on the table.
- Cool.
Oh, good. At last. Didn't
think he was ever gonna come.
- I'll go get that.
- Yeah. Got it.
It's big, it's round, it
takes up half the ground.
Jason's head! Jason's head!
It's big, it's round, it
takes up half the ground.
Jason's head! Jason's head!
- Oh, hello. [CHUCKLES]
- I need to speak to Karen.
It's Scott.
Quick. Go.
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