Tucker's Witch (1982) s01e01 Episode Script

- Thanks.
- Don't mention it.
- Boy, you're up early.
What are you doing? - My dream diary.
- Oh.
What is it this time? - Not nice, those elevator murders.
- Oh, my stomach.
Elevator murders? - You know, those three girls who were strangled in elevators? - Oh, I wish Tina wouldn't make such great lasagna.
- You didn't have to ask for thirds.
- I didn't wanna be rude.
Oh, where is the medicine? Why can't I ever find anything in this house? Boy, I need something, I need some antacid, a bicarbonate or Novocaine or something.
- Try some of Mother's peppermint tea, that should work.
- I've got a better idea.
Come here.
- Rick, I'm busy.
Oh, the pain's going away.
- So's my dream.
- This is definitely working.
- Bless you.
- Oh.
Dickens, come on, scram, beat it, pal.
You know the rules.
- Rick, wait.
I think he's got a message for me.
- Well, it'll keep.
- No, no, no.
- Amanda, that's not fair! - I'm sorry but it might be important.
- Oh, he sure has terrific ti - Bless you.
- Timing.
Why can't witches get their messages from fish or canaries? Why does it always have to be a cat? - Okay fella, this better be important.
Rick! There's been a fourth! - Fourth what? - Elevator murder! And we're going to get involved.
- Oh, no, honey, the only thing we're gonna get involved in is a vacation, some place where there are no insurance frauds, no blackmailers, no missing persons, no strangled girls and most important of all, no cats.
- You wanna bet? - I got five says you're wrong.
- You're on! - Rick, his name is Frank.
- Whose name? - I just flashed on the name Frank.
I think it has something to do with those elevator murders! - Amanda, it just scares me that you put so much faith in this stuff, it's unreliable.
One of these days it's gonna let you down when you're really counting on it.
- Good morning, children, good morning.
- Hi, Ellen.
- Good morning, darling.
- Good morning, Mother.
- Myra got loose again.
Honestly, that goat, this time she's into my herbs, polished off most of my valerian.
- Mother, are you going to be here today to let the plumber in? - What? Oh, oh, no problem, I have dozens of orders to fill.
- Nothing in here about a fourth murder.
I think Dickens should check his sources.
- Let me see that.
- These are pretty flowers, Ellen.
Who's Bernie? - What, Bernie? Oh, oh Bernie He's driving me to my Chinese cooking class this morning.
He does the best shrimp szechuan.
Oh my goodness! Look at the time, he'll be here any minute, I had no idea how late it was.
- Ellen, it isn't.
- What? - Amanda, dear? If you are going to practice on the clocks, I do wish that you would reset them afterwards.
- Sorry, Mom.
- Yes.
- Move, damn it! Shucks.
- Close, dear.
- Aw, come on, Mom, I missed.
- I rest my case.
- That can't be Bernie already, I, I'll go see.
- That's Marcia, something's come up at the office.
- You wanna bet? - Five dollars.
- You're on.
Hello.
Oh, hi Marcia.
Let me put you on the box.
Go ahead, we're both here.
- There's a woman here in the office who's really anxious to talk to you.
- Did she say what it's about? - Those elevator murders, the second victim was her sister.
- Go on.
- The discovered another body this morning, it's the fourth, she thinks she knows who the killer is.
- Tell her we'll be right there.
It's lucky for you I'm a good loser.
- Psst, Mrs.
Delasandro from across the street and you know who - Here we are! Ta-da! - Yeah! - What do you think? - She's amazing, amazing.
- And that's just a preview.
Now don't forget, it's the Monica Clinger School of Dance on the corner of Olympic and La Brea, I'll see ya at four sharp.
- What's at four sharp? - A dance recital.
You are coming, aren't you? Rick promised.
- Must've slipped my mind.
- He's a violent man, Mr.
Tucker.
He used to beat my sister.
- Have you told this to the police? - Of course, but they haven't gotten anywhere with it.
- What reason would he have for killing the other three women? Did he know any of them? - No, the police said he didn't but I think he's pulling the wool over their eyes.
There's something he isn't telling.
Don't ask me what it is but I feel it right here in my gut.
- We need something more substantial, Ms.
Barringer.
We can't get very far on just your intuition.
- Mr.
Tucker, I've built a two-million-dollar cosmetics business on my intuition.
I thought you'd understand.
Especially you, Mrs.
Tucker, aren't you supposed to be psychic or something? - Ms.
Barringer, this is a detective agency.
If I have any special talents, they're not something we rely on.
We deal in hard, cold facts here.
- Well I don't have any hard, cold facts.
That's why I came to you.
- So we can help you pin it on your brother in law? What if we find out he's innocent? - I loved my sister a great deal, Mr.
Tucker, I want that murderer caught whoever he is, before anyone else dies needlessly.
- Okay.
Ms.
Barringer, we'd like to talk to your brother in law.
How do we find him? - Well he's working at the new Fleischmann Building in Century City.
- What's his name? - Kopcheck, Frank Kopcheck.
- Did you say Frank? - Well it's really Francis but everyone calls him Frank.
- I do not owe you five dollars, we didn't bet on his name.
- Kopcheck.
- What is this, huh? Open season on Frank Kopcheck? First the cops, now you? Why doesn't the pushy broad just keep her mouth shut? - She thinks you killed her sister.
- Yeah, of course she does, she hates me.
Says I was never good enough.
- She also says you used to beat her.
- Hey look, buddy, I don't know who you think you are, you don't come up here where I work-- - Mr.
Kopcheck! Hey look, we're not trying to nail you, we're just trying to find out who murdered your wife.
Now we need your help.
- Once, I just hit her once.
I didn't used to beat her.
- When was that? - When I found out she was cheatin' on me.
It was a couple of days before she got killed and she didn't even bother to deny it when I called her on it.
So I belted her.
Doesn't make me a murderer.
Look No matter what my sister in law says about me, I loved my wife.
- Mr.
Kopcheck, are you by any chance carrying something that belonged to your wife? - No.
- Are you sure? - Yeah, I'm sure.
- Could you check your pocket? - Amanda.
- Yeah, a buck 50 in change and our car keys.
- Could I see that, please? - What's with your wife? - She's a witch.
- What is this? - I don't know, my wife got it somewhere, I don't know where.
- What about this guy she was seeing? What's his name? - Like to find that out myself.
- I don't think that guy's on the level, you know it wouldn't surprise me at all if the company he works for has put up at least one of the other buildings where the bodies were found.
Now if that's the case, I will bet you-- - Ah ah ah, you can scratch Frank Kopcheck.
- You always were a sucker for sentiment.
- No, no, no, I'm getting an image.
I'm getting an image of a short, bald man with beady black eyes! He's the one we're lookin' for! - Nah, Kopcheck's clean as a whistle.
We checked him out, got an air-tight alibi for every one of the murders.
Okay, move it out.
- Any link between the murders? - The M.
O.
, always strangulation, always in an elevator, always in a new high rise.
- What about the girls, did they have anything in common? - Two blondes, one brunette now a redhead.
Two short, one tall, one average, three in her 20s, one in her 40s.
One thing in common, all married.
- Ah.
You don't have much to go on, do you Lieutenant Fisk? - No, but I feel a whole lot better knowing you two are on board.
- Thank you.
- Tell me, any of your famous insights? - No, no, not yet, but I'm working on it.
- Well, that's good, but do me a favor, if you decide the murder weapon's at the bottom of the La Brea Tar Pits like last time, just keep it to yourself.
I'm still trying to live that one down.
- I have a feeling that I'm gonna make up for that one on this one, Lieutenant.
- Forget it, forget it.
We've gone over every piece of evidence with a fine-toothed comb.
Blood tests, hair tests, fiber tests, logistic analysis, put it all into a computer and what do we come out with? Zilch.
We're dealing with random killings here.
The girls are just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
So why don't you just leave it to us and tell your client her brother in law is clean and go look for somebody's lost cocker spaniel.
- You're probably right, Lieutenant, but in the meantime do you mind if I have a look at that charm bracelet before we go? - Oh, yeah.
We found it under the body, must've fallen off during the struggle.
We've checked it for prints.
- Good.
- Say, how did you know about this bracelet? - Huh? You mentioned it to one of your men when we arrived.
- I did? - Mm-hmm.
- Good.
- Oh.
- Pretty, huh? - Uh-huh.
- Okay, now you're the murderer, how are you sure you're not gonna run into someone getting out of the elevator? - Ah, that's why I pick new buildings, they're deserted, no tenants.
- Oh, very clever! - First, I lure the girls into the elevators then I push the stop button between floors.
- Why? - Do you know how long it takes to strangle somebody? - I think you people are sick! - I forgot about Ernie again, oh that poor plumber.
I just have had so much on my mind lately.
- He'll get over it.
How's business? - 10 more orders for Slumberland Tea, I knew it would be a big seller.
- Are you sure they're drinking it and not smoking it? - What? Well, whatever.
Pays the rent.
- Thanks.
- Any patterns emerging? - Well, you tell me.
These flags represent the murder sites.
And these pins are all the new high rises near completion in the city.
What do you think? - Looks random to me.
- Great.
Thanks a lot.
- Morning.
- Oh, hi Marcia.
- Hi.
- What's all this? - It's copies of all the coverage on the murders, right back from day one.
Rick asked for them.
Oh by the way, Rick, you were right about the charms.
- You talked to the Secretary of State's office? - Yep, they referred me to the Department of Trademarks, I had to go down there in person to get the dope.
According to them, the symbol is registered to a video dating service.
- You didn't tell me about any of this.
- Honey, I don't tell you everything.
Besides, I was just following up your hunch.
- Hunch? - That the charms are the link.
- Video dating service huh? - Yeah.
You know, one of those high-tech Lonely Hearts Clubs.
This one's an outfit called Data Match.
- Okay, I'll go in and join and see what I can find out, you go check out those relatives.
- No, wait a minute, why don't I go in and join and you check out the relatives? After all, the victims were women.
- Now wait, hold on here, now if the killer's one of the members, this could be very dangerous.
- Well yeah, but it could also be a lot of fun.
Let's flip for it.
- Okay.
Call it.
- Tails.
- You sure? - Nope.
- Never flip with the kid.
Cute.
You stay here and keep practicing that while I go join.
- Wait a minute, wait a minute, I'll be a sport.
We'll both join but you can go first.
- We're always open for new members, Mr.
Tucker, the more the merrier! Let me call Danny, our manager.
There's a Mr.
Tucker here who'd like to join.
Okay.
He'll be right out.
- Hi.
I'm Danny Kirkwood, welcome to Data Match.
First you take a look at our profiles here and if you find a girl that interests you - Hey, huh? - Then you, then you come on over here to our tape library and you locate her tape according to her code number.
Then you come on over here to one of our private viewing booths, you slip this in and you take a look at the tape.
- Danny, what about watching it at home? - Sorry, no tapes or profiles allowed off the premises, house rules.
- Got ya, I'm cool.
So what if I find someone I like? - Well then we let her know you're interested, she comes down here and takes a look at your tape and if the lady likes what she sees, you're in business.
- What do you got in here, your own private collection? - No, this is the file room, you can put your membership on hold for up to six months if you go away on business or find a young lady you wanna concentrate on for a while.
- Oh, that sounds fair.
Terminated, what's that? Dead or married? - No, that's past members and drop outs, you'd be surprised how many people rejoin.
We let the married ones keep their tapes.
- Hi, I'm Lori, I'm going to be taping your interview.
- Hi Lori.
- Right this way.
- Lori is our Assistant Manager, you'll be in very good hands, believe me.
- I can see that.
- Okay, right this way.
You can have a seat right here.
- Ooh, camera.
- Rick, I'm not gonna be here when you're through so I'm gonna give this to you right now.
- What's this? - This shows you're a member in good standing at Data Match.
It's your golden key to a whole new way of life.
- Okay, now look at the camera.
- Hi, I'm Rick.
Let's party! - So what name did you use when you joined? - My own.
I'm an insurance adjuster.
- Oh.
Okay, I'll use my maiden name then.
And I'll give the office address.
- Uh-uh, I used the office.
- Okay, then I'll give the home address and phone.
- Better warn your mother so she doesn't give the game away.
I went through every profile in that library and not one of the victims was there.
Not even the two we know for a fact were members.
- Well, that figures.
I mean, they're hardly available for dating anymore.
They must've been pulled.
- And put in the terminated file.
- The what? - They hang onto the records of all past members in this special file.
- There's your answer.
Do you wanna bet that we find all four of them in there? And if we do then the killer's got to be another member.
I'll tell ya something else, I'm gonna spot him, soon as I go through those profiles tomorrow.
I'd know him anywhere.
Short.
Bald.
Beady black eyes.
It's getting clearer and clearer all the time.
Wanna know another thing that bothers me? - Hmm? - That the club never reported to the police that two of the victims were members.
Huh.
But then think of the publicity.
Thing like that could ruin a dating business.
Right.
You gotta get into the special file.
- Amanda.
Come here.
- Oh.
He's at it again.
- The peeper? - I'll fix him.
- Can I help you? - Yes.
I did a real dumb thing, I left my glasses at home and I keep making a mess of this application, I was wondering if maybe you could help me.
- Sure, that's no problem.
Can I move this? - Sure.
I think it belongs to that gentleman over there.
- Is this yours? - Oh yeah, thanks.
- Okay Rick, I've got your first tape set up if you wanna come on back.
- Oh boy! - I'll be in my office if you need me.
- Thanks, beautiful! - Okay, I'm all yours.
- Hi, I'm Babs.
I have an insatiable appetite for live people I love rollercoaster rides, pink champagne, long walks on the beach, yellow roses and sensitive men.
You know what I mean.
I'm a woman of many moods.
Impulsive, of course.
Humorous and shy sometimes.
Uninhibited, yet discriminating in my passions.
- Ooh, there's more to you than meets the eye, Amanda.
Well.
- Dancing, music, sports.
- Yeah.
- You know, I think you're really gonna be in demand here.
- Oh gee, I hope so! - Come on.
Let me show you around.
- Around? - Yeah, the rest of the place.
Amanda? Amanda.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
I guess I'm just a little nervous.
- Yeah, boy, you gotta relax.
- Right.
- These are our viewing booths.
Back here we have the profiles.
Oh, hey, Rick.
I'd like you to meet Amanda.
Amanda, this is Rick.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- How are you? - Fine.
- Amanda's just joining us today and, you know, taking a look at her profile here, I'd say the two of you have a lot in common.
- You don't say? - Rick's only been a member here a couple days himself, he's already very popular.
- Oh, really? - Yeah, who's it gonna be? Marilyn, Liz? Babs.
- Babs, Babs, she kinda made it happen for me.
You know, she's got a lot going for her.
- Yeah, she's a good choice, great gal.
Little bit independent, maybe, but she gets her share of repeat calls.
- Lucky old Babs.
- Okay, we're set up for your interview, Amanda.
- Okay.
It was nice meeting you - Rick.
- Rick.
- Right this way.
- Good luck.
- Thank you.
- I think you did it again, pal.
Listen, I'm gonna give you a call as soon as I set up that date with Babs, all right? - Okay.
- Oh, I got it.
- Thanks, Danny, I'm always leaving this behind.
See ya, pal.
- Yeah, take care.
You know, that guy's briefcase was empty when he came here.
Not when he left.
- Uh-oh.
Another member with sticky fingers.
- Maybe I ought to check.
- I don't see why you have to go through with this dumb date.
"Hi, I'm Babs, I'm insatiable.
" - You ran her tape.
- Well, curiosity got the better of me.
- Look, I just think she might be helpful.
In the first place, she is married but separated and in the second place, Danny said she gets a lot of repeat dates and maybe one of them is our killer.
- More than likely she's the killer herself.
She looked pretty tough to me.
- Like a short, bald man with beady black eyes? - Who knows, maybe she wears a wig and contact lenses.
Come to think of it, you might try giving her hair a real good pull tonight.
- I love it when you get like this.
I gotta run.
- What's your rush? - I gotta pick her up in 15 minutes, see ya later.
Amanda.
I know what you're up to and it is not going to work this time.
This time I'm really leaving, I'm going.
Amanda, this is no time to play games.
I'm leaving, right now.
Here I go.
I Oh boy, I'm gonna be very late.
Amanda.
I've got work to do.
- You're right, business before pleasure.
Well, now, that's better.
I'll see you later.
Oh honey, on second thought, don't bother waiting up for me.
You said you liked the beach, so I made a reservation in Malibu.
- Uh-uh.
I made the date, we go in my car.
- Let's go.
- I pick the restaurant, I pay the tab and afterwards, we come back to my apartment.
You make the date, you get to call the shots.
Those are my rules.
And everybody sticks to 'em.
Okay? - Okay by me.
- Right.
I think you're gonna like this.
- I'm looking for a man.
Actually, I'm looking for different types of men.
I'm looking for a variety of interpersonal relationships.
- In other words, you're really interested in playing the field, is that right? - Yeah.
- I brought you a sandwich and a glass of milk.
- Oh, thanks.
- You're welcome.
Any luck? - No, no, nothing.
I was so sure I could pick up a sense of who the killer is from watching these tapes but - My goodness.
It's cold in here! - Oh.
Oh, Mama.
Oh, I gave you such a start.
Hey Mother, look, any time any of my little stunts begin to get on your nerves, you just let me know.
- No, no.
No, that's all right, dear.
I'll get used to it again, it will just, it'll just take me a little bit of time.
- I only want you to be happy here.
- Oh.
Besides, nothing you could do is anywhere nearly so maddening as the things your grandmother used to do.
We never knew what was going to happen next.
- She was a character, wasn't she? But she certainly knew her craft.
I wish I had her command.
Mine is so unreliable.
- Well, maybe you just try a little bit too hard, dear.
I remember something your grandmother used to say, she used to say, "If you have the knack, don't force it, "it will come in its own sweet time.
" Of course, in my case, it never did.
- It's funny how it skips a generation, isn't it? - Mmm.
- Did you ever feel left out? - Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, I wouldn't have wanted all that responsibility.
Besides, having your grandmother in the house was quite enough.
And pity your poor father.
That man had the patience of Job.
Bless his soul.
- You still miss him, don't you? - Yes.
But living here with you and Rick now, it isn't so bad.
I hope you don't mind about Bernie.
- Bernie, no.
I couldn't be more pleased.
- You'll like him, he's a very nice man.
Well, of course, he's a widower and He's not your father.
But he's a very good company.
There's Bernie now.
We're going to a movie.
Don't forget to finish your sandwich.
- Okay, have a good time.
- Thanks.
- Hello.
Hello? - Hi, this is Danny.
- Danny? - Danny Kirkwood from Data Match.
Look, I know it's kinda short notice but I was wondering if you were free for dinner.
- Dinner? - Listen, to tell you the truth, I was very impressed with your interview.
- Is that okay? I mean, for management to date clients? - There are no rules against it.
As a matter of fact, the last manager married one of the clients.
- Well, I suppose.
- Pick you up in about 15 minutes.
- Well, why not? Dickens? Oh, don't be silly.
What's good for the gander's good for the goose.
- Hey, I'll bet some of those guys you've been out with through Data Match have been a little weird, huh? A couple, yeah.
- Did any of 'em ever try to get rough with you? - With me? - Yeah.
- I'm a black belt.
Hey, what are you doing sitting way over there, huh? Come on over here and give me a kiss.
Come on, come on.
- Now shouldn't you keep your eyes on the road? - Oh, relax sweetie, I could drive this road with my eyes shut.
Now, how 'bout that kiss, huh? Come on.
- Hey, look out! Oh, no fair, you're peeking.
- Hey, wanna hear something real funny? The brakes are out.
- Put it in low! - I'm trying to but it won't go! - Come here.
You all right? - Yeah.
- You sure? - Think so.
How 'bout you? - Yeah, I think so.
- I don't understand, I mean, I just had these brakes fixed.
- Who knew you were going out tonight? - Nobody I can think of, except, well, the people down at the Data Match office, that's all.
- Carol and Lori? - Yeah, and Danny, of course.
He keeps tabs on all the girls.
- All set.
- Good.
- So, where are we going to dinner? - Oh, I found a great new place, just opened.
- Oh, really? Where is it? - It's not far from here.
Fabulous view, oh.
- Is it in the Hills? - No, no, it's a new high rise, top floor.
You'll love it.
Well that's funny.
- Looks like we're outta gas.
Excuse me, do you have a ladies' room? - It's around the back.
- Thank you.
I'll be right back.
- Rick! Hi, this is Amanda, we're unable to come to the phone right now.
Oh, swell.
Everything okay? - Yeah, seems to be.
Damnedest thing though, I mean, the tank was nearly full, right? - Yeah, must've been something in the gas line.
- Isn't that strange? - Hi fella.
Where's Amanda? Amanda? Amanda? - Rick, it's me, I think Danny Kirkwood is our man.
I'm with him now, supposedly on a date.
We're at a gas station on the corner of Pico and Beverly.
I don't know how much he knows.
But he's taking me to a restaurant in a recently-completed high rise somewhere near here.
He says it's got a great view of the city.
I'll bet it does.
I'm going to try to nail him.
Better bring the cavalry, gotta run now.
Hurry! - Hey, Dickens! Thanks, pal.
- Top floor? - Mm-hmm.
- Hey, wait a minute! What are you doing? - Private detectives have been known to carry guns, Mrs.
Tucker! - Rick, wait! Don't let me down now.
Got him, wanna bet? - No bets.
- What's that? - I hope it's the cavalry.
- All right, what's this all about? - We've got your elevator killer.
- Where you hiding him? - Where else? I thought you said he was a short, bald man with beady black eyes.
- You wanna throw him back? - So apparently Danny Kirkwood's wife used to cheat on him regularly.
And finally she ran off with a guy she met through a dating service.
So Danny sets himself up with Data Match, starts killing off other married women who were doing the same thing.
I guess in his own sick way he was trying to get back at her.
It's too bad he had to involve Data Match.
I think they provide an excellent service for people who are looking for that sort of thing.
It takes one rotten apple.
You know, Babs wasn't really that bad.
I'll bet if I hung in there long enough I could find the girl of my dreams.
- Rick.
- Hmm? - Come here.