Underbelly s01e07 Episode Script

Wise Monkeys

1 Women don't seem to play much of a role in the underworld.
Fuck! Oh.
Fuck me.
Oh ohhh! Extortion, drug dealing, violence - they're bloke things.
Is that all the thanks I get? Oh, my fanny's about to fall out.
Are you gonna drop it in court? I'm months off, dimbo.
It'd serve the bastards right if I gushed all over their fucking floor.
Fucking taking you away from me.
I'm an innocent man.
Don't worry.
I'll make bail.
But when the magistrate didn't believe the 30,000 ecstasy tablets found in Carl's possession were for personal use only, he was sent to jail, which meant his expanding drug business was left to the care of his expanding wife which made Roberta Williams the odd woman out.
She knew exactly what her old man did for a living, although I guess she didn't know the full extent of his dirty deeds.
But most of them - the wives, lovers, girlfriends of career criminals - they either don't have a clue what their men really do or they refuse to acknowledge it.
Me, I don't get it.
Why are they attracted to guys who are bound to end up in jail or worse? What goes on in their minds, in their secret hearts? I don't know.
I suppose every woman's prepared to pay her own price for love.
I'm sorry.
Are you OK? Keeping busy.
Oh, that brief, I've nearly done it.
Good.
Room for one more? Of course.
Just a DUI.
Favour to a major client - big Mick Gatto.
Have you met him yet? No.
Well, he's kind of taken this bloke under his wing.
Just out of jail and the idiot sinks enough piss to break a drought.
And what was he in jail for? Murder.
And he's waiting for you in the boardroom.
Hi.
Hi.
I'm Zarah, your lawyer.
G'day.
Hello.
Nice painting.
Thank you.
How am I looking? Pardon? The DUI.
How am I looking? Yes, of course.
Sit down, please.
Right.
OK, um Right, now, you had How many drinks did you have at At Bar 20? I had three beers, I think.
OK, you breathalysed 0.
07.
Yeah.
Look, I'm not used to drinking.
OK, you've been abstinent? No, I've been inside.
Yes.
For 12 years.
Of course, of course.
Long time between drinks.
Yes.
Oh.
So, what do you reckon? Can you help us out or what? Yeah.
That Versace? You know your dresses.
I'm impressed.
I'm an impressive kind of guy.
You know, Giorgio Armani wants me to model his new collection.
Mm? Yeah, for the short fat guy.
Hmm.
The salon's going great.
Really good.
Yeah, we're really busy at the moment.
It's great.
Yeah, you know the cash that goes through there? It's better than my other businesses.
Well, maybe you're in the wrong business.
Yeah, maybe I am.
Hmph.
So how you been? You know, since Mark? Do you really care, Tony? What? About Mark? No, no.
But I bet you didn't get any tea and biscuits from the Morans either.
Nup.
You make your bed, you lie in it, right? Tony, it's good to see you.
Oh, g'day, Nik.
Hey, nice threads.
You like? It's Versace.
Of course.
They prepared table for us.
Terrific.
Sorry, we're leaving to eat.
You believe how beautiful she is? Oh No, really, she's fucking Shut up! You're embarrassing her.
No.
There's no shame in the truth.
Yeah, yeah.
Let's go, hey? Yeah.
It was nice talking to you, Tony.
Yeah, yeah.
See you in the salon one day, hey? Sure.
You like this fat bald man? Because you are too beautiful to work in one of his shops.
I mean it.
Oooh! But I like hairdressing.
And I have lots of nasty bills to pay and I never sweat.
I make you sweat.
Really? Mm-hm.
Tell me, why are you called 'The Russian'? 'Cause I've heard that you're actually from Bulgaria.
Where is bloody Bulgaria? I don't know.
Nobody knows.
I don't know.
But Russia In my business, it helps to Hey, hey, arsehole.
Nik What? What you look at? What you doing? You look at my girlfriend? No, no I saw you look.
Nick I saw you look at my girl.
No, no.
You want trouble? I give you fucking trouble.
Next time, you keep your eyeball for yourself.
Yeah.
Sorry.
OK? Understand? I like you.
Now, the name, it helps with the business.
People think, they remember 'The Russian'.
It's better than 'BIow Joggs'.
You mean 'Joe Bloggs'.
Yes, this man.
You like this French bubbles? Mm.
Mmm! If Carl Williams is gonna come and sell these things on my turf, then what? I'm entitled to a cut? Yeah.
You know that and I fucking know that and that malakia Williams needs to know it.
You know what I mean? Relax, will ya? He's in remand.
Just relax.
Yeah, alright, in remand.
It'll be a good chance for you to lean on his scraggy bitch of a missus, then, huh? There she is.
Here.
That's your lawyer? Yep.
You're kidding me.
Mate, stick those norks in my mouth, will ya? Hi.
I hate these places.
Shall we? Hey, Lew! Lew! Good luck, hey? Hey, sweetheart! Hey! Want me to check out your witness box? Come here.
I'm surprised you've ever picked up a chick.
She's nice, but.
Yeah, she's nice.
Mate, listen, do me this favour, alright? Just go round, have a chat with puttana, puttana Roberta.
$10,000 a week, bro.
Hey? You go tell her.
No fucking way is Paul Kallipolitis getting a fucking cent.
He can go fuck himself.
And what are you doing delivering messages for him anyway? You know he's serious? I bet he is.
We're making five times what he does.
Yeah, well, you should pay it, Roberta.
You know, it's business.
You wanna know about business? When I grew up, I had nothing.
Now look.
This is what business has bought us.
Me and Carl have worked our tits off so our kids can have a home to be proud of.
I was up until three fucking a.
m.
This morning packing these bags for the runners.
Three fucking a.
m.
There's no fucking way I'm sharing my hard-earned cash with some jumped-up wog boy from Sunshine.
Present company excepted.
You know he's a fucking psycho? Oh, he's a fucking joke.
I'm sorry.
I still get to see the sun, don't I? $3,000 fine and two years suspended licence is very harsh.
Another lawyer might have been You want a chewie? Yes.
Wanna have a drink sometime? With you? Yeah.
No, I didn't mean I just mean I don't think that I should.
I'm not supposed to date clients.
What's the worst thing that could happen, Zarah? You know, you could've helped, you lazy bitch.
Fuck off! Have a go, you fucking slag.
Stick a souvlaki up your greasy Greek arse.
Come on.
Moll.
HEY! Get off her! Give us the fucking money, bitch! Get off! Get off, get off, get off! Arggh! Get off her! Fucking bitch! Fucking moll! You fucking dirty moll! Fuck! Hey.
Oh! It's Larry and Curly, huh? Where's Moe? Don't want to find my fucking house burning down around my ears.
All there? Huh? Don't you fucking touch my daughter ever again.
Like I'm gonna touch anything of yours, huh? I'd be scared I'd get a disease, mate.
Oh? Give us that, then, huh? Is she for real? Huh? Is that moll for real? You're a dirty moll, mate.
Every week! Hey! Every week, ya clam! Jesus, Bobbie.
Don't you say a fucking thing, Carl.
Don't.
Don't you say a fucking thing.
You're in here having a fucking holiday.
I'm out there with shitheads terrorising my kid.
Plus, I'm hauling around your fucking sprog, which is doing my fucking fanny in, and my back is fucking killing me and the house is a fucking bomb site.
I'm doing my fucking best, alright? So just say one fucking word, Carl Williams, and I'm gonna jump across this table and I'm gonna feed you your skinny fucking balls.
Ain't got nothing to fucking say? I'll fuck off, then.
She made a smart business decision.
Mate, if I wasn't stuck in here You're only stuck, Carl, if that's the way you choose to look at it.
I made some of the best connections of my life right here in the boob.
There's a lot of people in here worth getting to know, Carl.
Hey, are you listening? You should listen to Uncle Tone.
I'm your fairy godmother.
See you all.
See you.
Don't have too much fun.
Yeah.
I'm gonna go.
See you.
Visit from the boss.
Aren't we honoured! For you.
Gerberas.
And champagne.
Tony.
Why don't you come and have dinner with me? We'll go somewhere nice and stuck-up.
I guess I could squeeze you on my dance card.
Then you'll need, uh You'll need this.
Nice.
Arggh! Knew you were gonna do that.
Arggh! Arggh! Fuck! You like hairdressing? You know, you are the second man to ask me that lately.
Yeah, I do.
I'm exceptionally good at it.
Ha.
I bet you are.
What about the future? You know, like marriage, babies.
You know, most women want some sort of security, don't they? Yeah, in my own way, I suppose.
Ah.
With a rich gangster prince, right? Yeah.
He's got to be a sweetheart.
A sweetheart? Mmm.
You mean, like a stupid, lanky Russian one or a cuddly, smart Kuwaiti one? I thought you were Lebanese.
Yeah.
It's a long story.
Right.
Seriously, Danni, you're a beautiful woman.
You deserve someone with better prospects.
Prospects? Prospects are good.
Yeah.
So, are you worried about these drug-trafficking charges? Listen, whatever life throws my way, I'll just make the best of it, you know? Always have.
That's me.
Just suck it and see, eh? Yeah.
Hi there.
You've got no new messages.
What's the worst thing that could happen, Zarah? So, Danielle, I have something.
Just a little something for you.
Oh, Nik.
You are spoiling me.
No.
I would like to spoil you more.
Hmm? Nik, Nik.
Good things Good things come to those who wait, OK? How much longer are you gonna make me wait, huh? I'm just a poor little girl in a big bad forest.
I've got to look out for big bad wolves who want to eat me up.
You should be careful.
I will eat you.
Probably.
Maybe.
If you play your cards right.
Hey.
Thanks for tea.
Hey, angel face.
I got a big surprise for you.
A big surprise coming up.
Really? Yeah.
You will like.
I promise.
Goodnight, Nik.
Your fairy godmother says hello.
That's her.
Right there, right there.
Hey! Valet parking, huh? Jesus Christ! What? Are you having triplets? Where's the money? Huh? Yeah, yeah - right here.
Ah! Count it.
You know, for a bloke who shoots up horse hormones, you got an awfully small dick.
You know, I hear Carl's doing alright.
Yeah.
No, he does his time good.
Yeah, yeah.
Must be all those whores I hear he's been having smuggled into his cell, huh? One by one, mate.
'Cause, you know, you're preggers and everything.
Have a nice day.
Voila! Nik! Wow! This one - 100% Danish.
Duck feather.
This one.
Imported from Copenhagen.
You know Helena Christensen? She sleep on that.
Really? And this one.
You feel this, please.
It's soft.
This import from Milan.
Milan? Milan.
Milan.
Only one in the country.
Soft, eh? Oh, that feels beautiful! Mmm.
Is that marble? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is chirtzo.
I love marble.
You like? Like? Nik, it's a freakin' palace! Yeah, it's palace.
For you my princess.
What?! You mean I can live here? Mmm, no.
Next door.
Of course you live here.
Huh? Oh, my God! Yeah, yeah, yeah! So, what So are you gonna throw in a car so I can drive to work, huh? Work? What for you work? You gonna make me take a tram? No, you don't work.
Hmm? I look after you and all those "nasty little bills".
You'd do all that for me? Angelucci, I spend money on beautiful thing.
This make me happy.
Hmm? And now you make me very happy.
Ow! Nik! Niki! Not yet.
No fucking "Not yet".
Nyet to "Not yet".
It is finished now - you tease my prick.
OK.
It's OK.
Just relax, hmm? Nik! Nik Yeah, come on.
You will like.
Please.
Don't.
We're closed.
You couldn't squeeze me in, could you? I, uh, got all this hair in my eyes.
You seem sad.
I'm just thinking.
Can I make a suggestion? Shoot.
You're a good cutter, Danielle.
I mean, that's at least what I heard.
But, I mean, have you ever thought about managing a place like this? We've already got a manager.
Yeah.
But what if I want a new one? Hey? How about it, Danni? What? You want me to manage this place? Yeah, yeah.
You could hire, fire, redecorate, if you want.
I mean, I trust your judgment.
OK.
So, what's the catch? Oh, if we was to screw each other's brains out every now and again, I wouldn't say no.
Hello.
Angelucci.
Come on.
Let's go, huh? Um, Nik, I Oh, what's this? It's cherry slivovitz.
Ooh! It's a Bulgarian liqueur.
And this.
It's to say thank you and, um, goodbye.
Hmm.
You have been such a generous man, Nik, and I've really enjoyed myself.
But, um But what? You know What is this? You don't give me fucking present! I do! Who the fuck you think you are?! Who the fuck you think you are?! You are fucking nothing! Nik Nobody! You are fucking hairdresser.
Woman! You're fucking nothing! Fucking WHORE! Ow! OK, good.
I hate your face.
Bottoms up.
Titties down.
Ah! You're bad.
Yeah.
I'm really, really bad.
Hey, Tiff.
Hey.
You know, after he's had a few, it's about this big, yeah? It's like a limp biscuit Arggh! Ar-ar-ar! It's true.
That true? Look at you.
You're a poofter.
Hey, least I don't have to root goats.
Root what? Who's rooting goats? Get fucked.
Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Say sorry to her.
Hey.
Hey, play nicely.
We're only mucking around.
Fucking apologise! You alright? Huh? Yeah.
Everything alright? Yeah.
Did I hurt you? Nah.
Nah? Alright? Come on, man.
Happy? You wanna rumba, sexy? Mmm.
Hello? Hey? Roberta? Yeah, I'll be there in a minute.
OK.
Come here.
Hey, where are you going? Stay there, alright? Don't go away.
Alright? Tiff, what are you doing? Come.
Are you just gonna stand there? You want a chewie? Hello, Lew.
Hey.
How'd you meet Mr Gatto? I was inside with Jason Moran, and I was looking out for him.
So he then put in a word with Mick and Looked out for him how? Well, you know, he's like 5'8" with this huge ego and even bigger mouth, so blokes are lining up to kick his head in.
I stopped them, that's all.
What do you actually do for Mr Gatto? Uh pick up stuff, drop it off.
OK, yeah.
Yeah.
Not gonna be a delivery boy forever.
Nah, of course not.
Heaps of stuff I can do.
It's just Yeah.
It's kind of hard when you've only done physical kind of work.
Could be a model.
Heh.
YOU could be a model.
It'd be good, I reckon, poncing around in your undies, you know, holding toasters, opening fridge doors.
I take photos, actually.
Oh, yeah? Anything good? Yeah.
Yeah? Yeah, I'm not an expert or anything, but I could maybe take some of you if you want.
The light's good.
Kind of over here.
Yeah.
It's good.
OK.
Alright.
Hmm.
It's nice.
What do you want me to do? Want me to It's great.
Want me to take off my jacket? Yeah.
Yeah.
Take your shirt off.
Hmm.
You know, after all I've done for the fat toad, and he goes and sticks his cock into some dirty whores.
I'm sorry, Benj.
Hey, dollybird, don't stress.
I don't know what I'd do without you.
Got no other fucking friends.
Hey, I got you something.
Huh? Little spoonful.
Here we go.
Come on, lift it up.
Hah.
Mmm.
Mmm.
You're a fucking legend, you truly are.
It's better than sex, isn't it? Oh, yeah, and, uh you want that in the freezer? No.
Fucking give it here.
You know how long it is since I've had a drink? Who are you hanging with tonight? Uh PK.
Fucking P fucking K.
Keeps making my life a misery.
You know, the world would be a better fucking place if he just did us a favour and fucked off it for good.
Hey, Roberta, have you got any, uh So that's what you're after, is it? Got a lady.
I need a little cha-cha-cha! Shift over.
Fuck! Shut up.
Fuck.
Oh, you like it like that, huh? You like it like that, huh? Come here.
Oh.
Oh, your tits.
Oh, they're beautiful.
That's it.
That's it, that's it.
Right there.
Jeez, if a girl wants a root, she's gotta do it herself.
Shut up.
Let me come in peace, will you? Give me some of that pot you promised, and I'll blow you next.
Really? Yeah.
What about blowing me now? Where you going? Where you going? You're leaving me with blue balls, mate.
What are you doing? What are you doing? Dunny through here? Yeah, just through there.
Mate, you're a prick tease.
I'm hung and hard like a donkey, mate.
Where you going? Hey.
Oh! Thank you.
Mm-hm.
Boss.
What have you got for me? Paul Kallipolitis - ran most of the drug trade in Sunshine.
Another one for the whiteboard.
Get anything from the neighbours? Nah, no-one saw or heard anything.
They must sleep heavy in west Sunshine.
Aren't they lucky? Hey.
Tiffany? This is Detective Inspector Butterworth.
Have they taken him away yet? Not until Forensics are finished with him.
Did you see who did this, Tiffany? I'm not signing a statement.
Not going to court.
Now, anything you give us is great.
I didn't see the shooting.
I only heard it, and then I saw someone leave.
That's all.
Who did you see? Hey? His friend.
I only met him tonight.
Does this friend have a name? Benji.
Benji who? I don't know.
He seemed a real sweetie.
Aw.
Hey, yeah, it's OK, little bubba.
It's alright, Dhakota.
You do have a way with the girls, don't you, Benj? Yeah, I got a way with everybody.
Oh, hello.
Oh, she's so beautiful.
Oh, yeah.
There you go.
Aw.
Yeah.
There you go, bubba.
Did you hear about poor old PK? He was cut down in his fucking prime.
Tragic, eh? Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a tragedy.
Women who survive in the underworld have to have the gift of looking away and choosing what to see, what to hear, what to say.
They have to be wise monkeys - see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.
# Hide and seek is the game # We'll teach you how to play # Close your eyes # Really tight # Make it dark # Like the night # The party never ends # The game begins again # The party never ends # The game begins again # Climb the stairs to the top # Rooms are dark but don't stop # Getting close # Really warm # Now you're cold # On the floor #
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