United States of Tara s01e09 Episode Script


Previously, on United States of Tara What are we doing here? We're in different places in our lives.
- I just want to be an employee again.
- I'm not sure I can do that.
I got fucking fired from my fucking work today.
Gene, can I have my job back? Kate, I've given you the after-school shift on Monday.
I hope to see you there.
I think he's nice.
- You're so cute.
Come on.
- Thank you.
What do you think of these? Do you think Dr.
Pete can fix me? You're a nice-lookin' woman.
I bet that commie doctor fixed you up good.
- I think there may be a new alter.
- Tell me everything now.
It's animalistic.
Pure id I guess.
Ocean says with the You and Dr.
Ocean've been talkin' about this?'bout me? I'm gonna go meet Tara's old roommate, Heidi.
One morning, Tara comes back to the room and she'd been knocked around.
His name is Trip Johanssen.
Wait till Tara's next session.
And we'll talk together about this.
Sous-titres: browncoat, grischka, lafeelicita, salomon, valpi SeriesSub.
com So Let's talk about the new alter.
Can I just say I think it's totally weird that you guys talked about me when I wasn't there.
I know sometimes Max and I come together, but, aren't you supposed to be my therapist? Of course I am.
- That's my fault, I came over here.
- There was never any breach - of confidentiality.
- Was it a crisis? I mean, was I a threat to myself or others? I didn't know what it was.
I just wanted to get you some support.
I don't feel supported.
I feel kind of sold-out.
What can I do, right now? Anyway you can help me understand Gimme? I believe that Gimme holds all your raw emotions.
It's Gimme's job to keep the truth from coming to light.
I know the name of the guy.
You what? I know the name of the guy at boarding school.
You know what? I'm sorry, I can't deal with this.
I wish you would stay.
It's up to you.
It's her session.
I met with your old roommate, Heidi.
- What? - I met with Heidi.
The guy's a fucking Johanssen.
- I don't want to know! - So of course, just no record of anything that happened to you at that school? His family's name - is on every godamm building.
- It's a big fucking black hole, Max.
The month before and the month after.
There's nothing there.
Every shrink who's ever looked inside my skull has said there is a reason I don't know.
Maybe I don't want to know what that reason is.
I'm just trying to help.
It's like you've got all these John Wayne movies going on inside your head.
Like you're some cowboy and you're gonna ride into town on your big horse and clean everything up.
You know what? I'm not your town.
So you're going on shift? How'd you guess? How psyched are you you're off from school today? Teacher work days are second only to bomb scares.
That wasn't funny.
But you know what is? Tomorrow night, I have 2 tickets to my roommate Kurt's improv show.
It's great.
I mean they have no idea what they're gonna say next.
Actually, I think I'm coming down with something.
- Sorry.
- Oh really? Last time you were sick, you had a party.
When are you coming down with it, do you think? How should I know? I think it's plague from the chicken salad we serve here, but it could also be staph infection.
You know, from Gramble's coke nail.
Katie, way to hit me where I live.
- You should go home.
- Really? Yeah.
Are you gonna doc me? Of course not.
You were thinking about it.
I gotta to take Kimmy to some gymnastics bullshit, pizza bullshit.
I'll be back after to finish the project, though.
The project from Hell that refuses to end.
It's cool mister.
I ain't mad at you.
Charmaine, you keep saying "Spangly top," but I'm pretty sure T.
doesn't have anything spangly.
She's not Celine Dion.
OK I'll take a look and I'll leave it out for you.
- Hi Mrs Gregson.
- Hey, Jason.
Good to see you.
- He's cute.
- What? You sure he's in the market? Mum, that is so wildly helpful.
I really appreciate it.
You're looking up flights to Tokyo? Yeah.
Not that I'll ever be able to afford it on my sweat shop salary.
How about this? Bus ride to Omaha, 45 dollars.
- Get a free fold-up chair.
- You must be desperate.
- Something happened? - Yeah.
I just kind of made a bad decision at work, so now I want to crawl out of my fucking skin.
I just wish I could get away like you do.
It's not as glamorous as I make it look.
Seriously mum, don't ever just want to get the fuck out? - OK.
- OK what? - Let's get the fuck out.
- Seriously? - Where you wanna go? - Tokyo? - Closer.
- St Louis Galleria? Green Hornet's leaving in 5.
Hey bitch cakes.
Bitch cakes? Mum's trying to act all cool because we're going on a road trip.
Does dad know? He does now.
I know this is weird but Kate and I really need to get out of town.
- Both of you together? - I really need a night away.
Kate's got her cell and I'll actually answer mine, OK? OK.
I won't try to stop you.
Not that I could.
Could I? Hey, check you out! I gotta do some stuff, so - I'll be back later, OK? - It's rather vague.
You're so cute.
You drive like a little old lady.
Mum, you never took me out to teach me.
I'd to do all my permit hours with dad.
and his, like, zen driving theories.
I took you out driving.
Buck took me out driving, remember? He was teaching me how to parallel park and he backed into Mr Hubbard's mailbox.
Dad was cool with us leaving, right? He gets so worried about me.
I've been There's been a lot lately.
Mum, let's not stress.
You wanna just check in here? We can play pong in a shitty sports bar.
Thanks, Katie.
Where's your mother? Flew the coop with Kate.
What are you dressed as? I was just working out.
Yeah? Since when? I'm actually a very light sweater, always have been but I just got back from a very vigorous run.
Don't make that a habit, Marshall.
You're a cute kid, OK? Skinny suits you.
That's a breathtaking view.
Tatoo parlor and a Chipotle.
That's perfect.
Maybe I can get a tatoo in honor of girls' night.
Absolutely not, you're 15.
Yeah, but i could pass for 18.
- I'm an old soul.
- Oh, yeah? What guy told you that? What are you doing? - I'm going swimming.
- I didn't bring my bathing suit.
Well, i guess you can watch nova or something.
You need to focus on your attributes.
Force yourself to take a compliment.
Or can I force people to give them to me? That's what I've learned these past few weeks.
Someone compliments me, like Nick Hurley, environmental lawyer with whom I have a date tonight, thank you very much.
I take it, I say " I deserve the good things people say about me.
" This is gonna give me some primo side boob action.
I went from being a 6 in hotness to an 8.
Which is an Overland Park 11.
I need new rules, higher standards, now.
I think I want to wait 3 dates before I let a guy fuck me.
Is that inappropriate? I don't know.
Now I'm still working through your whole birthday nipple surprise.
Unless he gets me drunk, then all bets are off.
Cowboy? What the fuck does that even mean? Bullshit.
- What's bullshit? - That's the bullshit lady.
She comes out whenever I smell bullshit.
And I smell bullshit.
- It's a terrible lady voice.
- Well, you know what? You know exactly what she means when she says cowboy.
You take out the bad guys, you write letters to the editor.
Remember the time the rasta guy ran away with my backpack, you chased him down, you went all jason statham right there in the street? Okay, see, you can't change that shit, man.
You can't.
It's just like this drink you get all the time.
Gin & Tonic, has Gin and Tonic in it, you don't put Sprite in a gin and tonic, you fucking hillbilly.
Get out of here, all right, and go fuckin' wrangle.
My name's Nordic.
Nordic? That's a cool name.
Really? I used to hate it so much when I was younger, but I guess now I'm just kinda used to it.
Nordic Hellmuth.
So what do you do in Monte Carlo? No, actually I'm from Quebec.
I'm just living in Monte Carlo right now.
Few years ago I was in this really fucked up thing with Lance Armstrong.
No kidding! Yes, he's actually pretty boring in real life.
I'm Nordic's mum, Rula Hellmuth.
- Bonjour, maman.
- Bonjour! What's the buzz, party people? Mike, this is Nordic, and her mother, Rula? - Hi Mike.
- I could've sworn you two were sisters.
Can I buy you ladies a couple of drinks? Well, no.
Nordic is actually deathly allergic, - and I'm married, so - That's OK.
Mike is married too.
You know what they say: what happens at the pharm conference Who says that? Seriously, I wanna know who says that! No, I have a great wife, Rula, but if my Cindy were here, she'd say that being hit shouldn't stop a fellow from enjoying a margarita with an equally hapilly married lovely lady ? - Totally.
Convention gave me a buttload of drink tickets.
I'm pretty high up at Merck.
Why didn't you say that to begin with? So I have some rum, and some brandy.
I'll try the rum.
Marshall, right? Gene Stuart, Kate's general manager.
- Barnabeez.
- I know.
- Hey, man.
- Hey.
I brought some beef broth for Kate, and a Family Guy DVD.
She says she doesn't like it, but she just needs to give it a chance.
May I bring the stuff inside? Yeah, okay, but she's not here right know.
Really? So she's out? She's probably at the doctor or something.
That's OK.
I'll just set this stuff up now, so when she comes back, it'll be all ready.
Okay, well, we're just gonna work on our project.
No worries.
You guys just do what you need to do, and I'll be done in a second.
I'm such a freak about presentation.
Oh, my baby Kat.
I'll be honest with you, Rula, my Cindy used to be a bit of a downer, but now, 100 mg of Ativan and a Zoloft chaser, she's doing awesome.
God, if she could only drop like 40 pounds and stop watching Judge Joe Brown all the time.
I wonder where Nordic went? Oh, they left a while ago.
I'll be back.
Johanssen Investments.
Hold please.
Johanssen Investments.
Hold please.
- Hi, may I help you? - Is Trip Johanssen available? - Do you have an appointment? - Can I help you? - Trip? - I'm Charles Johanssen.
Trip works out at the Chicago office.
Is there anything I can help you with? No.
No, thank you.
That was an awesome movie.
Just because it's a black and white terrible.
No, I never said that.
You have this idea of me, and it's not.
No, I don't.
It's cool.
I get it.
I know I haven't been exposed to that much stuff.
I was never allowed to go over to a friend's house 'cause influence.
And if I met a kid with cool baseball cards that they were okay with, we'd move.
It sucks.
There is a pirate ship in outer space on your ceilling.
My mum painted it.
It's nice.
My mom wouldn't give a shit about me.
I think it's fair to say I win every crazy mother contest.
Fine, but I win every "my mother's a fucking horrible person" contest.
To mother issues.
You're lucky, Marshall.
Your mum's there for you.
Look what she made you.
Hey, Nordic.
I just read in Us Weekly that Lance is dating one of the Olsen twins.
Which must be total vindication for Sheryl Crow.
I mean, that guy is just gonna fuck everyone, isn't he? Hey, I would.
I see you are.
One sec, Dev.
Mum, quit looking at me like that.
think this was gonna be one of those mother/daughter "let's get French manicures" kinda getaways? This is us, remember? What are you doing? You don't even like this guy.
And the bubbles in the hot tub have crust on 'em.
You do this all the time.
Charmaine told me you were all over that skinhead at the Sugar Shack That was T.
I hate to break it to you, but the same person that is here right now is the same person that was at that Sugar Shack.
Welcome back.
like to get out for a second, and then get back in, and it's like, it's hot again.
I just like when you stay in, cause it's always hot.
- Mum, what the hell! - What's crack-a-lacking! Pimp-a-limpin'? - Aren't you a yummy bird! - T.
! Get outta here! - Go skankzilla somewhere else! - Come on! No, no negotiating.
Get out of the fucking jacuzzi right now or I'm gonna call dad.
Bitch ass, snitch ass! Sprung from the custom paint job.
It's a splurge, you know.
I don't wanna look dingo driving a Camry to work, you know.
I just personalized her licence plate last week, It's gonna say Drug-D-Ler.
D-L T.
? I've been looking for you everywhere.
, come on.
I believe I've already given my consent.
Go ahead, Luther.
Hurt me good, baby.
, that's mum's body.
She's mentally disturbed.
Multiple personalities.
Sometimes, she thinks she's my daughter.
Sometimes, she pretends to be a stuck up Overland Park brat, and sometimes, Canadian ho-bag - That's mum's blood, mum's skin, - who used to date Lance Armstrong.
- mum's teeth, mum's hair Just do it, Luther.
You sure? You put that shit under a microscope, you'll see that that's mum's DNA.
You're a visitor and you know it.
Fuck! Mummy? Is this on me? No, not yet.
I think I'll pass.
So you don't want the dolphin fucking the unicorn on your ass either? No, thanks.
Hey, Jason.
Hey, M.
How are you doin'? I'll be honest with you, it's been a weird day.
It's good to see you, though.
Thank you, sir.
No, no, come on.
Not that "Sir" stuff, huh? - Bye.
- Night, pal.
How did you do that magic you did? When is he gonna fuck the pie? He's not gonna fuck the pie.
So why are we watching? I don't know.
Pass the Neosporin.
Jeez, mum, matching tatoos.
What's next? - Clip rings? - No, thanks.
Oh, man.
Dad is gonna flip.
He's got one.
What? Where? Everything okay here? Mum ever call? No, but I got a text from Kate telling me to go fuck myself, so I think everything's fine.
What've you been up to? Jason came over, we watched a movie for film lit, hung out Oh, shit.
What? You got it bad, don't you? I think that's a distinct possibility.
Oh, son.
Nothing like love.
I know it's late.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry about today.
It was hard.
If you want me to stop digging, I can do that.
I'm done.
Have fun at the mall tomorrow.
Bye, love you.