Unsafe Sex in the City (2012) s02e02 Episode Script
Series 2, Episode 2
1 This programme contains some strong language More young people than ever are catching sexually-transmitted infections.
GIGGLING And Britain's STI clinics are the first stop for anyone who thinks a night of passion might mean they've caught something nasty.
You've got a bit of a discharge.
It was quite offensive in odour.
- You nervous? - Yeah.
I should know better, really.
This series goes behind the doors of two clinics Bit cold, as you know, OK? .
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in two very different cities.
We're a bit mental, but we're not judgmental.
Watch it! Leeds - with its huge student population People are having a lot of sex, and it's pretty much all unprotected sex.
God gave you a minge.
Use it! Why are we not looking after little Ollie? What's he done to upset you? .
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and Exeter - in the heart of the Devon countryside.
This is Exeter, mate.
Everyone sleeps with everyone.
Condoms for sex? No.
Getting a sexually transmitted infection from a farm animal.
We help bring patients to get checked out - I've trusted people that I shouldn't of.
- Oh, my God.
I'm just hoping and praying that I haven't got anything.
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before following them home 12 months, 20 partners? That's well shocked me.
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to find out how getting tested Your results from your recent visit are .
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affects their health You were positive to Chlamydia.
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their relationships Why would you need to carry on coming and taking the test if you're not sleeping with anyone but me? .
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and their sex lives.
She wanted it so bad! This week, in Leeds, 23-year-old Krista is hoping her STI history won't repeat itself.
I've had chlamydia before.
You'd think I'd learn after last time, but I haven't.
While in Exeter, nurse Abbey is itching to see her next patient.
So we've got a guy who's come in because his boyfriend's told him he's got crabs.
I haven't examined him yet.
I'm just too scared to, because I'm itching already.
And 21-year-old Ash is praying that probing into his past Ow.
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won't open a can of worms in his new relationship.
If I've given Jaz something, I don't know how I'd live with myself.
The Leeds Centre for Sexual Health is gearing up for another manic week.
Fill this form out in the waiting room.
Circle yes and no's on the first form Fill the bottom page out as well.
With over 100 patients to see a day, demand for their sexual health service is booming.
When you come through the door, sometimes you can't get upstairs.
It's jam-packed and you think, "Oh, no.
" Morning.
Would you like a cup of tea? Yes, I'd love one please.
It's like there's been a shower of boys and girls.
But before she can mop up the shower, support worker Dawn is doing the morning top-up.
This is liquid nitrogen for the treatment of genital warts.
We spray it on to each, like, wart.
It's like a really cold spray and it freezes the wart.
Liquid nitrogen is used to freeze off genital warts.
And putting peoples privates on ice keeps the Leeds clinic busy.
It's one of the most common sexually transmitted infections we see.
Constantly, throughout the day, we're using it.
It is a bit of an odd job, this.
Very weird.
You have to be weird though, you see, to do it.
And I'm a bit weird.
My friends think I'm mad doing this job but they all envy me, in a way.
Every day is different.
You never know who's going to come through the door.
They've all got a story to tell.
Just get my forms ready.
Coming through Dawn's door this morning is 23-year-old Krista, joined by best mate Emma.
Do you have any pain, irritation, or stinging when you pass urine? My granddad does.
Krista? Recently single, Krista's been playing the field, and rarely with condoms.
Like, if I'm on a night out, I never do because I'm always intoxicated or anything like that so it's very rare, really.
It's quite bad.
I've had chlamydia before.
It was quite horrible, actually.
You'd think that I'd learn after last time, but I haven't.
So you've come for a peace-of-mind check-up today.
Have you got any symptoms? - No.
- No.
Have you ever had sex with a bisexual man or woman? Not that I know of.
I know it's hard to tell sometimes.
Have you had unprotected sex in the last five days? Nope.
Lovely jubbly.
So what we do today is we do a test for chlamydia and gonorrhoea.
It has a two-week incubation period so this episode a week ago, was that with a regular partner or? Yeah, it was, yeah.
We're no longer together.
To test for the gonorrhoea and chlamydia she could have picked up on the pull, Krista can do a self-swab.
So there's your swab.
If you insert it about two inches and rotate around six or seven times.
You can go behind the curtain if you wish, and I always suggest you put your foot up on the chair to make it a bit easier.
All right, OK.
Next door, Krista's best mate Emma is having her first ever full STI check.
Just been looking at the issue about your sexual history, OK, - and I noticed that you had sex last night, yeah? - Yeah.
One of the things to say about the tests is that they are only - accurate up to about two weeks ago.
- Right, that's fine.
So if we're looking for things like chlamydia, it can take some days before it shows up.
So what we can do is to look at a self-taken swab.
- That just checks for chlamydia and gonorrhoea, OK? - Right, yeah.
And then we can get another test in a few weeks' time.
Although last night's antics mean Emma will need another check-up, her recent sexploits means today's test is very much necessary.
I do use condoms, but not, you know, religiously.
It's not like you're going to stop and go, "So have you got something?" When you're in the moment, no, it's not right.
Would you like some condoms today? Yeah, go on then.
Would you like some flavoured ones, or just? Yeah, all right then.
I'll give you one of each.
Be kind.
There you go.
What you saying(?) - Thank you.
- Cheers.
See you later.
- Bye.
We have to be, like, really personal and ask them really delicate questions.
I've asked the girls about positions and different positions that they've had sex in.
We find it interesting what they say.
But with the prospect of having already caught HIV, gonorrhoea, chlamydia, or syphilis - So what is syphilis? - I think they sound like sandwiches.
Do you want a gonorrhoea? It's a sandwich.
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A bag of condoms could be too little, too late.
You just never know, do you, when you might need a condom? So it's always best to have one in your bag.
That's what I say.
- INTERVIEWER: - Have you got one in your bag, Dawn? I certainly have.
I've got one or two.
Or three, maybe.
Just in case.
Down in Exeter, the hot summer means the clinic is busy dealing with a city on heat.
What am I looking for? The bags, yeah, the big bags.
For all of those.
I'm stocking up.
Cleaned, cleaned.
Having worked at the clinic for four years, nurse advisor Luke has seen almost every sexual infection under the sun.
These aren't, you know, simple infections that you want to get again, again and again.
Yes, they're easy to treat and, yes, they're easy to test for.
But that doesn't mean you still want to get them over and over again.
And I think that's something which a lot of young people do.
I think that they make that assessment and they think, "Oh, you know, if I get chlamydia, I can get treatment for that.
"And, at the same time, I can have better sex, "because I don't need to use a condom cos it's much more enjoyable.
" Next on Luke's list is 20-year-old barman Josh, who, along with his mate Brad, is taking a keen interest in the clinic's STI literature.
"Sucking cock without a condom "is less risky than unprotected fucking.
" This is a really brutal leaflet.
It's not very professional, is it? I didn't even know there was that many.
I thought there was only, like, three.
I didn't even think scabies was real.
I thought it was something that pirates had.
But this isn't Josh's first visit to the clinic.
I've had chlamydia once, a couple of years ago.
Pass it round like it's candy, these days.
I wanted to get rid of it straightaway and I panicked.
I haven't had it since.
Touch wood.
Touching wood might not be enough for Josh, especially if his safe sex ideas are anything like Brad's.
That's for gays.
- Are you nervous? - Yeah.
ALARM WAILS What's that? If you've got chlamydia, the alarm goes off? We've got a winner! - Thank you.
Josh, hi, do you want to follow me? - Yeah.
I'm Luke, I'm one of the nurses.
How are you doing? Yeah, not too bad, mate.
- How can I help you today then? - I'd like an MOT, please.
- An MOT? OK, so a sexual health check-up, yeah? - Yeah.
When was the last time you had any sexual contact at all, then? About two weeks ago.
- About two weeks ago.
OK.
- About.
When did you last have sexual contact with somebody different? A week before that.
- A week before that, OK.
And did you use any condoms? - No.
- OK.
Last sexual contact with someone different before that? Probably about two weeks before that.
Two weeks before that.
OK, so we're on five weeks ago.
I was just looking back at your old notes and, back in 2011, we treated you for chlamydia, didn't we? Yeah.
So you have had a sexually-transmitted infection in the past.
- What is it you don't like about condoms? - They ruin it.
- They ruin it.
- Yeah.
- What, the pleasure aspect? Yeah, I think they do.
One in ten, one in 12 people have got chlamydia so, you know, do the math, as it were.
Nurse Luke has lost count of the number of patients like Josh, who don't learn from their STI mistakes.
You do get repeat offenders.
They have that kind of look on their face where they nod, as if to say, "Yeah, I've heard it all before.
I know it," and you get a bit frustrated because you think, "You've had it once or twice and you're nodding "like you know it all, but you're not still partaking in safe sex.
" And Josh has to wait two weeks to find out whether he'll be joining Luke's long list of repeat offenders.
In Leeds, it's the day after their visit to the clinic and single girls Krista and Emma have a new reason to be nervous.
- I'm nervous.
- Oh, don't be nervous.
It doesn't hurt.
Does it actually really hurt on your wrist? Yeah, I think it does.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Does anyone else want to go first? BUZZING I'm scared now.
For Krista, Emma and their friend Lauren, a padlock tattoo is not just for decoration.
So what's the meaning behind all these tattoos, then? It's our secret pulling code.
- Is it? - Yeah, so basically, if when we're out When you're dancing with a guy and you want towe notice that you want to take him home, we'll be like, "Have you found your keys?" And that means, "See you later.
" Or, if we're that drunk and we can't talk, we'll just be like Padlock is basically a code word to say whether we are going to go have sexual intercourse with someone or not.
Aw, that's sexy.
- Absolutely gorgeous, in fact.
- Aw, that's really nice.
- I love it.
Let's have a look, mate.
Padlock.
Padlock, padlock! While Krista gets her top-secret pulling code inked in full view, Emma gets the chance to put her padlock into action.
- Someone's just walked past that could unlock your padlock? - Yeah.
What did he look like? Go that way.
I bet you're looking at the wrong person! - It were a little old man! - Not that one! He were a lovely little old man.
- Have you lost your keys? - No, mate, it's under my cling film.
The girls are chuffed.
Aw, I love it.
But their padlocks don't impress every man.
I think it's stupid, but it's their thing, soI can't say 'owt.
Do you think we look like idiots with the same tattoo? - Nah! - Little bit.
Nah.
Maybe it will get opened, maybe someone will find the keys? Who knows? - Keeping mine locked.
- Doubt that.
- Shut up.
Krista and Emma may be pleased, but will they still be smiling when they get their results in a couple of weeks? For most of the staff at the Leeds clinic, opening their padlocks is a distant memory.
I think if you were single and worked here you'd be You'd be examining that penis before it came anywhere near you! .
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the bloke a blood test.
But if they were still young, free and single - You wouldn't do anything if you worked here, would you? - Nope.
If I knew then what I know now It's quite frightening, actually.
I wouldn't have done half of what I've done - nah, I'm joking.
- LAUGHTER - Keep your fisting to yourself, love.
Only joking! Back down in Exeter, Josh is feeling the nasty side effects of sleeping around in a small town.
It's not regretting how many people you've slept with, it's certain people that you've slept with.
That's what it's like down here, though, it's a small community, innit? Everyone knows each other.
If one person says something, everyone says it.
It's all rumours.
I know a girl at the moment, and she probably hasn't even got it, but everyone saying that she's got fucking herpes.
People have said, "Oh, yeah, don't sleep with him, he's got chlamydia.
" Yeah, you have a reputation, but you can't get rid of it, you've just got to convince people differently, ain't you? Well, you'll find out if you've got chlamydia, won't you? Rumours of having chlamydia might not be something to shout about, but Josh isn't keeping quiet about the number of people he's slept with.
- Exactly? - 33.
- Is that exact? It's not going to be 33.
5, is it? Have you got like, a black book? No, I've got it on my phone - notes.
LAUGHTER I have slept with 60 people and I'll happily admit it now, and a lot of people ask me Yes, it's, like, 60.
Now that's the end of it.
60 is just I can't imagine 60.
Honestly, I haven't got the time.
LAUGHTER - "I'm too busy for men.
" - I am too busy for 60! - Yeah, that's a lot.
- Some people are worse than that.
I definitely think that the boys have slept with a lot more than we have.
Like, a lot more.
They are a lot worse.
Let's put the girls on the spot - shoot.
- 14.
- You slag! Coming from you?! Failing to impress with his big figures, Josh heads out to find some new targets.
Shots! Everyone's getting Eight shots! DANCE MUSIC But unfortunately for Josh, his fears of the rumour mill were justified.
And since word spreads as fast as chlamydia in this town ALL: Wahey! .
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Josh's attempts to bed anyone are an epic fail.
And he's got another week to wait before finding out if the rumour's become a reality.
Picking up STIs on drunken nights out on the town Morning, Liz.
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leaves sexual health clinics dealing with the hangover in the morning.
I think the 15-25 bracket, which is considered the most at risk of things like chlamydia.
We do see that group particularly - weekend drinking, unsafe sex, and it seems to be a pattern.
Quite often young people have this mentality of, there are certain people who get infections and certain people who don't, and they always consider themselves in the "don't" category.
I think the most times I've ever treated someone for chlamydia was about five times.
But, you knowI haven't seen them for a while.
Clinic regulars are common in Leeds, too.
I've treated some guys since I started here and I can see from the notes that this is the fourth, fifth, sixth time they have been treated for, say, chlamydia, in the last three, four years.
Some people come in with quite thick notes, you know.
So the concern there is - why are they not getting the message? Right, I'm going to go see my first patient.
Tim's next patient is a classic repeat offender.
OK, Geoff.
Come on in, mate.
25-year-old student Geoff has had two bouts of chlamydia Right Geoff, soyou've come in basically - for a peace-of-mind check, have you? - Pretty much, yeah.
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but still believes that coming to the clinic is a valid alternative to rubbering up.
How are you doing with your condoms? To be honest, I never, ever use them.
Is there any particular reason, Geoff, or? It just never gets mentioned, to be honest.
Girls just say they're on the pill or whatever, as long as they're not getting pregnant, people aren't really bothered.
It's an excuse nurse Tim has heard time and time again.
You need to be keeping an eye out for yourself.
I mean, look, we know gonorrhoea and chlamydia are treatable, but what I'm concerned about is that there's a good proportion of our HIV population do not know they have got HIV.
You know, and this is not an infection that shows its ugly head immediately.
And this is where we start getting into the realms of, you know, somebody being confirmed with HIV eight or nine years later and then, "How many girls have you slept with in the last eight or nine years?" Yeah, well, I've been thinking Because I don't want to see you back here confirmed with HIV.
And guilt's a good motivator.
Tim tests Geoff for the HIV, syphilis, chlamydia and gonorrhoea that could have been living in his body for the two years since he last got tested.
'I think he was a little more anxious than he was letting on.
' I definitely don't judge, because most guys have been there, haven't they? A lot of young men I see often find themselves in a position where a girl might be saying to them, "You don't need to wear a condom, I'm on the pill and I'm clean.
" And those seem to be the three magic tick boxes.
They think, "Right, fine, let's go for it.
" But how do we know that person you've slept with hasn't been in contact with HIV in the last few weeks, and does not yet know? I'm 25 now and I need to start being sensible.
Stop not using condoms.
I should know better, really.
If I keep it in my head that I'm going to wear condoms, then hopefully I'll wear condoms.
In the meantime it's a two-week wait to see if it's third time unlucky for Geoff.
Just have a look down there.
The Leeds clinic is riddled with medical jargon.
Can you see some little clusters of diplococci? Bacterial vaginosis.
Trichomonas vaginalis.
But not everyone understands the clinic's terminology.
No anal symptoms at all, no discharge when you're going to the toilet or anything like that? What do you mean "discharge"? From the back end? Your bottom.
Have you noticed anything? Nah, nah, nah.
So the staff have to try and get their mouths around some slang.
Bell end.
That's always a popular one.
Jap's eye for the opening to your urethra.
Widge, pidge.
Dicky-dido, tickle-tackle.
Me front bum.
Me frou-frou, me whatever.
Flange.
It's no good wrapping things up in terminology and somebody walking away not understanding at all what's been said to them.
There was a lady the other week and, you know, the light was shining and it does get quite warm, and she was like, "Oh, that's quite warm", and we're like, "Yeah, we're nearly done", and she went, "Yeah, it's quite warm.
" "We're nearly done.
" She went, "It's burning me minge!" Back down in Exeter, nurse Abbey has a nose for diagnosis.
She's come in with a ten-day history of white, smelly discharge.
I would have said she had bacterial vaginosis, which is the imbalance of the bacteria in the vagina, and it causes a smelly, kind of fishy discharge.
It's just one of the 100 diagnoses made by the Exeter clinic each week, and nurse Abbey takes nearly every new case in her stride.
So I've got a guy who's come in because his boyfriend has told him he's got crabs.
I haven't examined him yet.
I'm just too scared to, cos I'm itching already.
Thanks to the fashion for de-fuzzing down below, pubic lice are now one of the clinic's least common complaints.
I've never seen them since I've been here.
I've seen someone got one under the microscope.
That's a crab.
That's the pincers at the front, and the little legs.
I'm just really itchy now.
Oh.
Until now, nurse Abbey has never come face-to-face with a crab.
I should just examine him, shouldn't I, really? No pubic lice.
I examined his thighs and his genitals and couldn't see anything.
If they're not there, then they're not going to be in his arm or something, are they? And while it may have been a false alarm the effects on nurse Abbey last way after the patient has left.
I'm still itching.
I feel better now.
I've had two coffees.
Purely medicinal.
You should have a whisky.
That'll sort you right out.
- What type of sex do you have? - It's mainly oral.
Sometimes it's penetrative.
- OK.
Are you top, bottom, versatile? - We're versatile.
- Condoms for anal sex? - No, we don't.
- OK.
20-year-old student Jazz was a virgin before meeting boyfriend Ash.
When was the last time you had any sexual contact? Oral sex, mutual masturbation - It would have been last night.
- Last night, OK.
But 21-year-old Ash slept around unprotected before committing to Jazz, and previously had crabs.
When did you last have sexual contact with somebody different? Oh - I thinkHalloween? - Halloween, yep, OK.
- Any toys, fisting, rimming, anything like that? - No.
- And are you still in contact with that person? - No.
Do you know if they were from the UK or not? I think he was from the UK.
He had, like, zombie make-up on.
THEY LAUGH OK, so we'll take a swab from the tip of the penis, we'll also take a swab from the back as well, from the rectum, and then we'll get some blood for HIV and for syphilis.
- So I'm just going to pop the cotton bud in.
- OK.
Stay nice and relaxed as possible.
That's brilliant.
Try and relax for me.
Ow.
- Sorry, just a little bit of a wiggle round in there.
- OK.
That's fine, that's all done.
Hello.
Having been swabbed and probed to check for HIV, syphilis, gonorrhoea and chlamydia, Ash and Jazz will now have to wait two weeks to get their results.
If one of us or both of us have got something, then obviously it's going to be an interesting conversation.
I love a little romance.
Coming to the clinic as a couple is surprisingly common to nurses Luke and Abbey.
- I think we do get a lot of people come in as - We see it a lot.
- I tend not to like to take them in as a couple, though.
- Yeah.
We always try to take them in separately, I think.
We won't refuse to see them together, but we do try and make it clear that it's better to be seen separately.
You ask why they're here, "Oh, I'm in a new relationship, I just want to get tested.
" And they've actually been in that relationship for about six months having unprotected sex with that partner.
And you think, "Hmm, OK.
Might be a little bit too late, now.
" Anyway.
They're there, that's the main thing.
- We're not a couple, by the way.
- Aren't we? On the other side of town, Josh is worrying about his results and needs to get things off his chest.
Off to see the old man.
He's one of the lads.
We talk about literally everything.
But today, Josh's dad is not such a lad.
Justdon't like your attitude towards women.
Just like a blow-up doll to you, isn't it? - Having sex and - Deflate her! .
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chuck it away.
Move on to the next one, don't you? Just because you're Josh, you're not exempt from sexual diseases.
In a way, I hope you have got a little bit wrong with you, just so you learn.
Well, no, it will, it will make you learn.
Make you realise.
- Yeah.
- If you do get something then you've got to go round and tell everybody you've slept with that there's quite a good chance that they've got it.
So you are actually worried about it? - Yeah, course I'm worried.
Who wouldn't be worried? - Well, then use something, then.
It ruins it.
Oh, so does a sexual disease ruin it.
Or a baby.
Touche.
- See you later.
- All right, see you later, boy.
'I've told him time and time again about it.
' When he was staying here with me for a while, he brought home two different girls.
Never bothered using anything, wasn't bothered about it.
I tried to explain to him then about sexual diseases and that, babies He didn't care.
After a wake-up call from his dad, the reality of his upcoming results is starting to dawn on Josh.
At first when you get the test done, you think, "Nah, it's absolutely fine, yeah.
" But after a week of waiting, you think, "Hang on, something's wrong here.
" It starts eating away, eating away at you, eating away at you, and you come to the conclusion after two weeks, you think, "I've got AIDS, I've got AIDS, I've got something.
" But it's just that worry.
I hate worrying.
It's Sunday morning, and although the Leeds clinic is shut for the weekend, Dr Mags is doing overtime.
The last time I was at pride was when I was on the float then dressed as a sailor boy having lots of fun! It's Leeds Gay Pride, and the staff are grabbing the opportunity to spread the safe sex message to the masses.
We're going to be talking to people, getting the low-down on their sexual health.
Also we'll be giving out condoms and hopefully just having a little bit of fun.
One in 500 people in Leeds have HIV, and a quarter of them don't know they have it.
It would be great if we meet people and then they come up to clinic.
Fantastic.
But really it's just kind of making people more aware of us being out there.
And with HIV being most common in the gay community, Dr Mags is keen to inject some safe into the sex that's brewing.
It's been quite a long time since the clinic has been represented at Pride, so this is kind of a bit of a trial, - but I don't want people showing me their bits and pieces.
- Not today.
Not today.
Let's go! As Dr Mags sets off, across town ladettes Krista and Emma are getting ready to tackle Pride for very different reasons.
I'll be so gutted if I get there and there are no straight lads there.
I'll be like, "Come on, let's go.
" All the straight lads will be looking at all the lesbians.
No, there will be straight lads looking for straight lasses, I think.
What did you do last night? I want to know! Has she told you and she's just not.
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I lost my keys, then I found them again - And then lost them again.
- Then found them again.
Then you lost them again.
Quite a few times.
With their test results still a week away, the girls are relaxed and ready to party.
Where is the worst place you have ever had sex? Lauren.
I've had it on like their apartment steps and it were like the basement.
In his dad's car when it were parked in the driveway! In a bus on Halloween dressed as Batman and Catwoman.
My worst one, probably .
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when I was leaning out of his bedroom window talking to his best mate and he was stood behind me.
- No! - Honestly? - Yeah.
- What were you saying? Nothing.
We were just talking.
I'llbe downin a minute! See yousoon! See ya.
As the girls make their way to Pride .
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Dr Mags is in the thick of it demonstrating that when it comes to sexual health, sometimes size does matter.
So you kind of measure the length when it's erect or you can measure the width also and then you can get your free condom size.
Would you like some condoms? Yeah, go on, then.
Do you have any questions about your sexual health or anything - that you want to ask me? - If you get AIDS, does it kill ya? We tend to just say HIV more, these days.
No, it's very rare that people would die of HIV, because the treatment out there is fantastic, so that's why we want people to get tested, so come and see us in clinic.
Can I give you some condoms? There you go.
- Can I give you some condoms? - Yeah, sure.
Condoms.
Condoms? Condoms.
I think I need to get some more condoms.
In the taxi ride to Pride, the girls are still talking dirty.
Oh, God, I were proper filthy last night.
- We want to know the juicy gossip.
- Yeah.
- Well, it were juicy all right.
- Not the actual juices.
I got pissed.
Text him .
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he says, "All right, I'll be ten minutes," and there you go.
How many times? - Were it four you said, this morning? - 40? - No.
- Forty? Fucking hell! She wouldn't be walking.
I think it were like eight or something.
- Eight times? - Yeah.
Did he come eight times? No.
- That would be impossible.
- That's what I mean, that's why I said it, like.
- Did you come at all? - Yeah, quite a few times.
Not eight.
With 30,000 people partying at Pride, and the celebrations reaching fever pitch - Can I have a chat with you? - No, not really.
No.
All right, thanks - bye! .
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the safe sex message becomes a harder sell.
What surprised me is that people were saying no to free condoms.
People probably weren't at their most receptive for outreach.
But never one to give up without a fight They've got their condoms and hopefully they'll use them.
.
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Dr Mags decides that if she can't beat them, she'll join them.
Give me give me give me A man after midnight Won't somebody help me Chase the shadows away Dancing at Pride is as contagious as the clap I'm up all night to get lucky I'm up all night to get some .
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and the girls are spreading the love.
What? - Padlocks are still sealed.
- Still sealed.
Fuck off.
I saw you.
Shut up, I got his number.
I'll give a while next Friday until he's unlocked her padlock.
I'll give it till Tuesday.
I'm being generous.
I'll give it till the morning! It's not fair that men have a lot more sex than lasses do.
It's a unwritten rule that lads sleep about, but they're like, "You slept with loads of people, you slags!" Why should they have all the fun and us stay at home, like, "Oh, where's my boyfriend?" Why should we not go out and do it? Fuck it.
There's no rule that says women should stay at home and be fannies.
God gave you a minge Use it! With their results due in a week, Krista and Emma will find out whether making use of what God gave them has got them into an almighty mess.
While awaiting his results, student Geoff gets a grilling from old school friend Tina.
Why don't you use protection? It just ruins the mood, I think.
Like, say I was to sleep with you, not that I ever will, cos I've already tried Yeah, it doesn't usually get brought up.
You could get someone pregnant.
- And that is not worth it.
- No, not at all.
Have you had anything before? I've had chlamydia twice before.
Did you not learn from them two times, though? Obviously not.
That's bad.
Third time.
Maybe, anyway.
- Yeah.
- Or you could have something worse.
Like, if I found out I had HIV or something, I definitely wouldn't be as laid-back then.
How do you get rid of gonorrhoea, anyway? I have no idea.
So what you going to do, then, when you get your results? If they come back positive, I'm obviously going to have to let people know.
Do you remember how many people you slept with, though? I'd rather not say.
You can't remember, then? No.
Slutty Geoff.
Slutty Geoff might need to start remembering if he scores an STI hat-trick when his results come in.
At the Leeds clinic, there's one STI that keeps the staff grafting.
Genital warts.
Every clinic I do, my clinics are always full of people with genital warts.
Must be very cold on your genital skin.
Might make you jump at first.
I'm the wart queen! They can come in all shapes and sizes.
Soft, fleshy They can look like little cauliflower segments.
They're typical warts.
Bit cold, as you know, OK? The clinic sees up to 200 cases of genital warts a week.
Some patients don't tolerate it very well.
They say, "Stop, it's burning.
" And other patients, they're fine with it.
They're just let you spray, spray, spray.
Although she's not yet qualified to spray the warts herself, this morning it's up to support worker Dawn to make sure the clinic's liquid nitrogen supply is well stocked.
So what's it used for, then? Erm It's used for freezing warts.
Dave the van man is used to its more heavy-duty application.
We use it for industrial purposes, which is for cutting metal.
We use it for t'food industry.
It's one of the best treatments for warts.
I mean, we do have creams.
Sometimes we can cut 'em off, we don't have to freeze them.
Just one of many treatments, this.
Just in case you were interested! I'll stick to the industrial side, if you don't mind.
Am I putting you off your dinner? While freezing warts isn't everyone's cup of tea That's a strange subject, isn't it? It is.
I mean everyone's aware of it, it's just strange.
.
.
having worked in sexual health for seven years, nothing puts Dawn off HER dinner.
Lunch time! Or almost nothing.
I don't like it when people bring cottage cheese.
It does remind you of what you've seen at t'morning.
Thrush! Cottage cheese! Cottage cheese.
I do like cottage cheese.
I bring it in myself sometimes.
I'm all right when I'M eating it.
But if somebody else is eating it, I think, "Oh, reminds me of that lass "I saw this morning about half nine.
" Oh, Dawn! Waiting for results is no picnic, and down in Exeter, 20-year-old Jazz has an awkward question for his new boyfriend, Ash.
I was just wondering, how many people have you slept with and that before? - Five, sixish.
- Yeah? - Can't really remember proper.
- No? No.
And were they like, were they unprotected? I can't say for sure.
About half were.
- Half were.
- Hmm.
'Bout three or four unprotected.
In the UK, gay men are the group most at risk of contracting HIV, and since Jazz was a virgin before meeting Ash, the burden of a potential STI is on Ash's shoulders.
Feeling a bit nervous about it all now.
As long as we don't have HIV or anything.
Oh.
Don't want to talk about that.
- No? - It's a scary thought.
I don't think so, but .
.
you can never say never.
I don't know for sure if I haven't given him something, and I'd be devastated if I had, so Yeah, I would be upset if it's something I've got, but if I've given Jazz something, I don't know how I'd live with myself.
There's another week to wait before finding out whether Ash's reckless past will change both of their lives for ever.
Leeds student Geoff is facing the possibility of a third bout of chlamydia.
His results are due today and he's relying on his mates for support.
Do you go often and get checked out or what? This was the first time I've been in Leeds, I think.
- You've lived here two year.
- I know.
That's so bad! Not sure if I've got anything, but I reckon that I probably do.
How many people you got to tell? I was thinking about it, and it's more than I thought, and I think I think .
.
it's more than five, but less than ten.
You'll have some women kicking off at you, if you've got something.
They're saved in my phone, but I'll just have to go through and be like, "That's one, that's one.
" That sounded really bad.
PHONE RINGS Oh! - Hello? - Oh, hi, Geoff, my name's Jane.
I'm a health advisor at the Centre For Sexual Health at Leeds.
Geoff, we're just phoning up because we've done your tests.
There's no gonorrhoea, no HIV and no syphilis.
Oh, right.
But we have found chlamydia.
That's come back positive, so obviously as we have found an infection, Geoff, we would like to get you back down to the clinic so we can give you some antibiotic treatment for that.
- All right.
All right.
- Cheers.
Yeah, what we expected.
How bad is it, having it three times now? Well, it is bad, isn't it, but .
.
it's nothing major.
You don't see it as a concern then? You're just gonna keep doing what you were doing and not using protection, you know what I mean? No, no - like, I am gonna start using protection and stuff cos it is stupid that I've got it this many times now.
But before he can put his past behind him, Geoff has to face up to his exes.
Did she mention what you should do with going about telling people that you've slept with? She was just asking if I was still in contact with people.
Some of them knew that I'd like, slept about and stuff, anyway Others might be annoyed.
The Leeds clinic deals with up to a hundred results a day.
Pretend you're in that little Post Office.
Next! Fourteen stamps, next! This is quite a big pile today actually, we were saying this morning.
That is your gonorrhoea positive, and that one is a chlamydia positive.
That is your syphilis positive.
Every one of these I look at is a person waiting for their results so that's why I find it's really important to get these done as well, so if somebody needs contacting that either needs treatment or is waiting for their results, you know, we can get on with them.
Away from his mates, the seriousness of Geoff's chlamydia hat-trick is beginning to sink in.
I do care that I've got chlamydia.
I don't want it any more times than three times, to be honest.
Or anything else.
I understand that I have to tell other people that I've got it because obviously they could have it as well.
I really don't want to do it.
Well, there's the first one that I slept with, who .
.
said for me to get checked out.
Someone afterwards I slept with a few times.
Erm The third one from home Erm Erm Erm Another one from Leeds Erm Erm Uh I'm going to have to go through my phone.
Erm Yeah, I've just been through my full phone book there.
I think it's just five.
It's not too bad, but still, it's five people that .
.
shouldn't really have to deal with it, but It's me that's potentially given them chlamydia anyway, so I do feel bad for it.
Geoff bites the bullet and sends the dreaded text.
Right, I've put, "Hi, it's Geoff, just to let you know "that I got tested and it turns out I've got chlamydia.
"Just in case, I would get checked again, sorry for the random text.
" Geoff's job is done - for now - but if he doesn't wrap it up in the future, three bouts of chlamydia could easily become four.
Down in Exeter, 20-year-old Josh's wait is nearly over.
It's results day.
I could have got something like, a year ago and I haven't been tested since, so it could be eating away at me, do you know what I mean? And it's not very healthy as well.
Like, chlamydia you just pass it around like it's You spread it like butter.
Having caught chlamydia once before, Josh is dreading more bad news.
They wouldn't have rang me, would they? I fucking hope not.
Cos I've missed two calls.
Probably someone I owe money.
MESSAGE ALERT SOUNDS HE SIGHS Fuck's sake.
I don't want to open it.
Yes, get in.
That does mean I'm clear, doesn't it? It's a lucky escape for Josh.
His results are negative.
It's just a massive weight off your shoulders, isn't it? But that waiting time is horrible.
It's horrible.
It's horrible for anyone.
It makes you believe everything.
Fuck you, waiting.
Celebrate time.
Josh heads to the pub to tell mate Brad the news.
So then, you don't look too impressed.
I'm all right, mate.
- No way.
- Uh-huh.
- Really? - Yeah.
Yeah, bad.
They misspelt "all clear".
Oh, really? Get in.
I'm happy for you, mate, that you ain't caught chlamydia.
Cheers, mate.
All clear! Cheers.
Josh has one more person to tell.
Dad.
Hi, it's Josh.
I got my results, didn't I? They're all clear, I'm all good, told you.
When it's just some random, I'll wrap it up.
I might even use two.
With his Dad's words ringing in his ears, Josh is thinking twice about his future use of condoms.
Start wrapping it up, start wearing something on it.
As my dad put it, "Put a crisp packet on and use an elastic band.
" And hopefully his lucky escape won't come back to bite.
Karma.
Karma will hit everyone one day.
It hasn't hit me yet, but it will.
Back at the clinic, there are more results ready and nurse Luke is the man with the news.
There's no hepatitis B, no hepatitis C, no HIV, and no syphilis, OK? What? You're pleased about that.
One patient who's come into the clinic to collect his results Jazz.
Hi, do you want to follow me? .
.
is 20-year-old Jazz.
You've been with your current partner for seven months, so these results will be accurate.
They are all fine, OK? So there's no HIV, no syphilis, no hepatitis B, no hepatitis C.
Chlamydia, gonorrhoea, throat rectal and urine - all fine.
- All right? OK? Good, so you're happy.
- Yes.
Ah, relieved, I'm free from it all.
For now.
Another day done.
Does anyone want to go for a drink with me, ladies? - Is it a large one? - I can get you a large one.
I didn't actually mean that in a way But I can get you a large glass of wine.
Come on.
Hiya.
I have good news for you.
- Yeah? - I'm clear of everything.
- Everything's clear? - Everything.
Oh, brilliant.
But they're not out of the woods yet.
But hopefully you're the same.
- Hopefully.
- Yeah.
That's good news.
- If I have got anything it will be treated - PHONE RINGS It's a call from the clinic.
Hello.
Speaking.
Mm-hm.
Mm-hm.
Cheers, bye.
It was all clear, nothing.
Yeah, all clear as well.
That's good, so we're clear.
HE SIGHS - I'm so glad.
- Me too.
- It's all good.
- Relief, eh? 'With a double dose of good news, 'Ash and Jazz can look forward to an STI-free future.
' Today's going to get naughty.
Back up in Leeds, Krista and Emma are making the most of a day off.
Are you enjoying playing the field? I wouldn't say I'm playing the field.
- I'd say you are.
- Oh, would you? - I love it, it's brilliant.
- Yeah! You can do what you want, when you want.
No-one has to judge you.
I feel a lot better in myself now.
Like when you have one-night stands, you both know the score.
It's like a one-night stand, get over it.
- There you are.
- Thank you.
It's also results day for the girls.
Are you worried about your results? - Genuinely.
- No, I'm not.
- I'm worried for you.
- Thanks(!) We worked out, like the timeframe between you and your ex and the people .
.
and we are worried.
What would you do if it came back and it were positive? I think I'd change myself a hell of a lot.
Because of that.
I said that.
What, and you didn't change? - No.
- No.
I need sex on the beach.
Literally.
Thanks for me gonorrhoea sandwich.
- Would you like some chlamydia sauce? - Oh, yeah.
Oh, that sounds awful.
- And you're still eating.
- MESSAGE ALERT BEEPS - I'm hungry.
- Oh, my shit.
- I daren't read it.
- Have you actually just got it? - Yeah.
- MESSAGE ALERT BEEPS Oh, my gosh, so have I.
SING-SONG VOICE: I've just seen it, man, and I'm negative, do you want to see it? Wait a minute.
Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
I feel like - Are you relieved? Massive, massive, massive relief.
- High-five, mate.
- Yay! We can get drunk now.
Happy drunk, not sad drunk.
It's good news, but will the pair change their ways with condoms? - Are you going to start using them now? - Yeah.
I'll I'll If I think about it, I'll definitely use them.
If you go out on a night out, are you going to take them with you? I might put one in my bra.
Or my shoe.
Might put one in my shoe.
But having had unprotected sex the day before her STI test .
.
Emma will need to return to the clinic to go through the whole process again.
It's an STI cycle that's never-ending and there are always more infections to be treated.
I'm just trying to hunt down some spores.
And when they detect an infection Oh! Oh-oh-oh! .
.
it's a small victory.
Yes! Thank you, God.
We do think we're like, saving t'planet from STI's because you think that at least if somebody's come in and you're treating them for chlamydia because it's such a vicious circle going round.
So, by just treating one person we're saving, you know, half a dozen others.
And while the battle against STI's is never-ending - TANNOY: - Please proceed to counter number two, thank you.
At the end of another long day, the staff are satisfied with a job well done.
You go home at t'end of t'day and you think you've done a good job and you've saved some people.
Saved the world.
Before it all starts again tomorrow.
Next time on Unsafe Sex in the City - Ollie? - Yeah.
- All right, mate, come on.
.
.
18 year old Ollie is given a lesson in safe sex By shoving your penis into a women without a condom, you can catch HIV, hepatitis, chlamydia and gonorrhoea.
I'll just take them as they come, literally.
.
.
farmer Greg finds waiting for his results a real ball ache - What does that feel like, when? - The left one hurts a little bit.
.
.
and clinic staff get up to date with the sex scene in Leeds.
Oh, yeah, unicorning, where they put the dildos on their head.
GIGGLING And Britain's STI clinics are the first stop for anyone who thinks a night of passion might mean they've caught something nasty.
You've got a bit of a discharge.
It was quite offensive in odour.
- You nervous? - Yeah.
I should know better, really.
This series goes behind the doors of two clinics Bit cold, as you know, OK? .
.
in two very different cities.
We're a bit mental, but we're not judgmental.
Watch it! Leeds - with its huge student population People are having a lot of sex, and it's pretty much all unprotected sex.
God gave you a minge.
Use it! Why are we not looking after little Ollie? What's he done to upset you? .
.
and Exeter - in the heart of the Devon countryside.
This is Exeter, mate.
Everyone sleeps with everyone.
Condoms for sex? No.
Getting a sexually transmitted infection from a farm animal.
We help bring patients to get checked out - I've trusted people that I shouldn't of.
- Oh, my God.
I'm just hoping and praying that I haven't got anything.
.
.
before following them home 12 months, 20 partners? That's well shocked me.
.
.
to find out how getting tested Your results from your recent visit are .
.
affects their health You were positive to Chlamydia.
.
.
their relationships Why would you need to carry on coming and taking the test if you're not sleeping with anyone but me? .
.
and their sex lives.
She wanted it so bad! This week, in Leeds, 23-year-old Krista is hoping her STI history won't repeat itself.
I've had chlamydia before.
You'd think I'd learn after last time, but I haven't.
While in Exeter, nurse Abbey is itching to see her next patient.
So we've got a guy who's come in because his boyfriend's told him he's got crabs.
I haven't examined him yet.
I'm just too scared to, because I'm itching already.
And 21-year-old Ash is praying that probing into his past Ow.
.
.
won't open a can of worms in his new relationship.
If I've given Jaz something, I don't know how I'd live with myself.
The Leeds Centre for Sexual Health is gearing up for another manic week.
Fill this form out in the waiting room.
Circle yes and no's on the first form Fill the bottom page out as well.
With over 100 patients to see a day, demand for their sexual health service is booming.
When you come through the door, sometimes you can't get upstairs.
It's jam-packed and you think, "Oh, no.
" Morning.
Would you like a cup of tea? Yes, I'd love one please.
It's like there's been a shower of boys and girls.
But before she can mop up the shower, support worker Dawn is doing the morning top-up.
This is liquid nitrogen for the treatment of genital warts.
We spray it on to each, like, wart.
It's like a really cold spray and it freezes the wart.
Liquid nitrogen is used to freeze off genital warts.
And putting peoples privates on ice keeps the Leeds clinic busy.
It's one of the most common sexually transmitted infections we see.
Constantly, throughout the day, we're using it.
It is a bit of an odd job, this.
Very weird.
You have to be weird though, you see, to do it.
And I'm a bit weird.
My friends think I'm mad doing this job but they all envy me, in a way.
Every day is different.
You never know who's going to come through the door.
They've all got a story to tell.
Just get my forms ready.
Coming through Dawn's door this morning is 23-year-old Krista, joined by best mate Emma.
Do you have any pain, irritation, or stinging when you pass urine? My granddad does.
Krista? Recently single, Krista's been playing the field, and rarely with condoms.
Like, if I'm on a night out, I never do because I'm always intoxicated or anything like that so it's very rare, really.
It's quite bad.
I've had chlamydia before.
It was quite horrible, actually.
You'd think that I'd learn after last time, but I haven't.
So you've come for a peace-of-mind check-up today.
Have you got any symptoms? - No.
- No.
Have you ever had sex with a bisexual man or woman? Not that I know of.
I know it's hard to tell sometimes.
Have you had unprotected sex in the last five days? Nope.
Lovely jubbly.
So what we do today is we do a test for chlamydia and gonorrhoea.
It has a two-week incubation period so this episode a week ago, was that with a regular partner or? Yeah, it was, yeah.
We're no longer together.
To test for the gonorrhoea and chlamydia she could have picked up on the pull, Krista can do a self-swab.
So there's your swab.
If you insert it about two inches and rotate around six or seven times.
You can go behind the curtain if you wish, and I always suggest you put your foot up on the chair to make it a bit easier.
All right, OK.
Next door, Krista's best mate Emma is having her first ever full STI check.
Just been looking at the issue about your sexual history, OK, - and I noticed that you had sex last night, yeah? - Yeah.
One of the things to say about the tests is that they are only - accurate up to about two weeks ago.
- Right, that's fine.
So if we're looking for things like chlamydia, it can take some days before it shows up.
So what we can do is to look at a self-taken swab.
- That just checks for chlamydia and gonorrhoea, OK? - Right, yeah.
And then we can get another test in a few weeks' time.
Although last night's antics mean Emma will need another check-up, her recent sexploits means today's test is very much necessary.
I do use condoms, but not, you know, religiously.
It's not like you're going to stop and go, "So have you got something?" When you're in the moment, no, it's not right.
Would you like some condoms today? Yeah, go on then.
Would you like some flavoured ones, or just? Yeah, all right then.
I'll give you one of each.
Be kind.
There you go.
What you saying(?) - Thank you.
- Cheers.
See you later.
- Bye.
We have to be, like, really personal and ask them really delicate questions.
I've asked the girls about positions and different positions that they've had sex in.
We find it interesting what they say.
But with the prospect of having already caught HIV, gonorrhoea, chlamydia, or syphilis - So what is syphilis? - I think they sound like sandwiches.
Do you want a gonorrhoea? It's a sandwich.
.
.
A bag of condoms could be too little, too late.
You just never know, do you, when you might need a condom? So it's always best to have one in your bag.
That's what I say.
- INTERVIEWER: - Have you got one in your bag, Dawn? I certainly have.
I've got one or two.
Or three, maybe.
Just in case.
Down in Exeter, the hot summer means the clinic is busy dealing with a city on heat.
What am I looking for? The bags, yeah, the big bags.
For all of those.
I'm stocking up.
Cleaned, cleaned.
Having worked at the clinic for four years, nurse advisor Luke has seen almost every sexual infection under the sun.
These aren't, you know, simple infections that you want to get again, again and again.
Yes, they're easy to treat and, yes, they're easy to test for.
But that doesn't mean you still want to get them over and over again.
And I think that's something which a lot of young people do.
I think that they make that assessment and they think, "Oh, you know, if I get chlamydia, I can get treatment for that.
"And, at the same time, I can have better sex, "because I don't need to use a condom cos it's much more enjoyable.
" Next on Luke's list is 20-year-old barman Josh, who, along with his mate Brad, is taking a keen interest in the clinic's STI literature.
"Sucking cock without a condom "is less risky than unprotected fucking.
" This is a really brutal leaflet.
It's not very professional, is it? I didn't even know there was that many.
I thought there was only, like, three.
I didn't even think scabies was real.
I thought it was something that pirates had.
But this isn't Josh's first visit to the clinic.
I've had chlamydia once, a couple of years ago.
Pass it round like it's candy, these days.
I wanted to get rid of it straightaway and I panicked.
I haven't had it since.
Touch wood.
Touching wood might not be enough for Josh, especially if his safe sex ideas are anything like Brad's.
That's for gays.
- Are you nervous? - Yeah.
ALARM WAILS What's that? If you've got chlamydia, the alarm goes off? We've got a winner! - Thank you.
Josh, hi, do you want to follow me? - Yeah.
I'm Luke, I'm one of the nurses.
How are you doing? Yeah, not too bad, mate.
- How can I help you today then? - I'd like an MOT, please.
- An MOT? OK, so a sexual health check-up, yeah? - Yeah.
When was the last time you had any sexual contact at all, then? About two weeks ago.
- About two weeks ago.
OK.
- About.
When did you last have sexual contact with somebody different? A week before that.
- A week before that, OK.
And did you use any condoms? - No.
- OK.
Last sexual contact with someone different before that? Probably about two weeks before that.
Two weeks before that.
OK, so we're on five weeks ago.
I was just looking back at your old notes and, back in 2011, we treated you for chlamydia, didn't we? Yeah.
So you have had a sexually-transmitted infection in the past.
- What is it you don't like about condoms? - They ruin it.
- They ruin it.
- Yeah.
- What, the pleasure aspect? Yeah, I think they do.
One in ten, one in 12 people have got chlamydia so, you know, do the math, as it were.
Nurse Luke has lost count of the number of patients like Josh, who don't learn from their STI mistakes.
You do get repeat offenders.
They have that kind of look on their face where they nod, as if to say, "Yeah, I've heard it all before.
I know it," and you get a bit frustrated because you think, "You've had it once or twice and you're nodding "like you know it all, but you're not still partaking in safe sex.
" And Josh has to wait two weeks to find out whether he'll be joining Luke's long list of repeat offenders.
In Leeds, it's the day after their visit to the clinic and single girls Krista and Emma have a new reason to be nervous.
- I'm nervous.
- Oh, don't be nervous.
It doesn't hurt.
Does it actually really hurt on your wrist? Yeah, I think it does.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Does anyone else want to go first? BUZZING I'm scared now.
For Krista, Emma and their friend Lauren, a padlock tattoo is not just for decoration.
So what's the meaning behind all these tattoos, then? It's our secret pulling code.
- Is it? - Yeah, so basically, if when we're out When you're dancing with a guy and you want towe notice that you want to take him home, we'll be like, "Have you found your keys?" And that means, "See you later.
" Or, if we're that drunk and we can't talk, we'll just be like Padlock is basically a code word to say whether we are going to go have sexual intercourse with someone or not.
Aw, that's sexy.
- Absolutely gorgeous, in fact.
- Aw, that's really nice.
- I love it.
Let's have a look, mate.
Padlock.
Padlock, padlock! While Krista gets her top-secret pulling code inked in full view, Emma gets the chance to put her padlock into action.
- Someone's just walked past that could unlock your padlock? - Yeah.
What did he look like? Go that way.
I bet you're looking at the wrong person! - It were a little old man! - Not that one! He were a lovely little old man.
- Have you lost your keys? - No, mate, it's under my cling film.
The girls are chuffed.
Aw, I love it.
But their padlocks don't impress every man.
I think it's stupid, but it's their thing, soI can't say 'owt.
Do you think we look like idiots with the same tattoo? - Nah! - Little bit.
Nah.
Maybe it will get opened, maybe someone will find the keys? Who knows? - Keeping mine locked.
- Doubt that.
- Shut up.
Krista and Emma may be pleased, but will they still be smiling when they get their results in a couple of weeks? For most of the staff at the Leeds clinic, opening their padlocks is a distant memory.
I think if you were single and worked here you'd be You'd be examining that penis before it came anywhere near you! .
.
the bloke a blood test.
But if they were still young, free and single - You wouldn't do anything if you worked here, would you? - Nope.
If I knew then what I know now It's quite frightening, actually.
I wouldn't have done half of what I've done - nah, I'm joking.
- LAUGHTER - Keep your fisting to yourself, love.
Only joking! Back down in Exeter, Josh is feeling the nasty side effects of sleeping around in a small town.
It's not regretting how many people you've slept with, it's certain people that you've slept with.
That's what it's like down here, though, it's a small community, innit? Everyone knows each other.
If one person says something, everyone says it.
It's all rumours.
I know a girl at the moment, and she probably hasn't even got it, but everyone saying that she's got fucking herpes.
People have said, "Oh, yeah, don't sleep with him, he's got chlamydia.
" Yeah, you have a reputation, but you can't get rid of it, you've just got to convince people differently, ain't you? Well, you'll find out if you've got chlamydia, won't you? Rumours of having chlamydia might not be something to shout about, but Josh isn't keeping quiet about the number of people he's slept with.
- Exactly? - 33.
- Is that exact? It's not going to be 33.
5, is it? Have you got like, a black book? No, I've got it on my phone - notes.
LAUGHTER I have slept with 60 people and I'll happily admit it now, and a lot of people ask me Yes, it's, like, 60.
Now that's the end of it.
60 is just I can't imagine 60.
Honestly, I haven't got the time.
LAUGHTER - "I'm too busy for men.
" - I am too busy for 60! - Yeah, that's a lot.
- Some people are worse than that.
I definitely think that the boys have slept with a lot more than we have.
Like, a lot more.
They are a lot worse.
Let's put the girls on the spot - shoot.
- 14.
- You slag! Coming from you?! Failing to impress with his big figures, Josh heads out to find some new targets.
Shots! Everyone's getting Eight shots! DANCE MUSIC But unfortunately for Josh, his fears of the rumour mill were justified.
And since word spreads as fast as chlamydia in this town ALL: Wahey! .
.
Josh's attempts to bed anyone are an epic fail.
And he's got another week to wait before finding out if the rumour's become a reality.
Picking up STIs on drunken nights out on the town Morning, Liz.
.
.
leaves sexual health clinics dealing with the hangover in the morning.
I think the 15-25 bracket, which is considered the most at risk of things like chlamydia.
We do see that group particularly - weekend drinking, unsafe sex, and it seems to be a pattern.
Quite often young people have this mentality of, there are certain people who get infections and certain people who don't, and they always consider themselves in the "don't" category.
I think the most times I've ever treated someone for chlamydia was about five times.
But, you knowI haven't seen them for a while.
Clinic regulars are common in Leeds, too.
I've treated some guys since I started here and I can see from the notes that this is the fourth, fifth, sixth time they have been treated for, say, chlamydia, in the last three, four years.
Some people come in with quite thick notes, you know.
So the concern there is - why are they not getting the message? Right, I'm going to go see my first patient.
Tim's next patient is a classic repeat offender.
OK, Geoff.
Come on in, mate.
25-year-old student Geoff has had two bouts of chlamydia Right Geoff, soyou've come in basically - for a peace-of-mind check, have you? - Pretty much, yeah.
.
.
but still believes that coming to the clinic is a valid alternative to rubbering up.
How are you doing with your condoms? To be honest, I never, ever use them.
Is there any particular reason, Geoff, or? It just never gets mentioned, to be honest.
Girls just say they're on the pill or whatever, as long as they're not getting pregnant, people aren't really bothered.
It's an excuse nurse Tim has heard time and time again.
You need to be keeping an eye out for yourself.
I mean, look, we know gonorrhoea and chlamydia are treatable, but what I'm concerned about is that there's a good proportion of our HIV population do not know they have got HIV.
You know, and this is not an infection that shows its ugly head immediately.
And this is where we start getting into the realms of, you know, somebody being confirmed with HIV eight or nine years later and then, "How many girls have you slept with in the last eight or nine years?" Yeah, well, I've been thinking Because I don't want to see you back here confirmed with HIV.
And guilt's a good motivator.
Tim tests Geoff for the HIV, syphilis, chlamydia and gonorrhoea that could have been living in his body for the two years since he last got tested.
'I think he was a little more anxious than he was letting on.
' I definitely don't judge, because most guys have been there, haven't they? A lot of young men I see often find themselves in a position where a girl might be saying to them, "You don't need to wear a condom, I'm on the pill and I'm clean.
" And those seem to be the three magic tick boxes.
They think, "Right, fine, let's go for it.
" But how do we know that person you've slept with hasn't been in contact with HIV in the last few weeks, and does not yet know? I'm 25 now and I need to start being sensible.
Stop not using condoms.
I should know better, really.
If I keep it in my head that I'm going to wear condoms, then hopefully I'll wear condoms.
In the meantime it's a two-week wait to see if it's third time unlucky for Geoff.
Just have a look down there.
The Leeds clinic is riddled with medical jargon.
Can you see some little clusters of diplococci? Bacterial vaginosis.
Trichomonas vaginalis.
But not everyone understands the clinic's terminology.
No anal symptoms at all, no discharge when you're going to the toilet or anything like that? What do you mean "discharge"? From the back end? Your bottom.
Have you noticed anything? Nah, nah, nah.
So the staff have to try and get their mouths around some slang.
Bell end.
That's always a popular one.
Jap's eye for the opening to your urethra.
Widge, pidge.
Dicky-dido, tickle-tackle.
Me front bum.
Me frou-frou, me whatever.
Flange.
It's no good wrapping things up in terminology and somebody walking away not understanding at all what's been said to them.
There was a lady the other week and, you know, the light was shining and it does get quite warm, and she was like, "Oh, that's quite warm", and we're like, "Yeah, we're nearly done", and she went, "Yeah, it's quite warm.
" "We're nearly done.
" She went, "It's burning me minge!" Back down in Exeter, nurse Abbey has a nose for diagnosis.
She's come in with a ten-day history of white, smelly discharge.
I would have said she had bacterial vaginosis, which is the imbalance of the bacteria in the vagina, and it causes a smelly, kind of fishy discharge.
It's just one of the 100 diagnoses made by the Exeter clinic each week, and nurse Abbey takes nearly every new case in her stride.
So I've got a guy who's come in because his boyfriend has told him he's got crabs.
I haven't examined him yet.
I'm just too scared to, cos I'm itching already.
Thanks to the fashion for de-fuzzing down below, pubic lice are now one of the clinic's least common complaints.
I've never seen them since I've been here.
I've seen someone got one under the microscope.
That's a crab.
That's the pincers at the front, and the little legs.
I'm just really itchy now.
Oh.
Until now, nurse Abbey has never come face-to-face with a crab.
I should just examine him, shouldn't I, really? No pubic lice.
I examined his thighs and his genitals and couldn't see anything.
If they're not there, then they're not going to be in his arm or something, are they? And while it may have been a false alarm the effects on nurse Abbey last way after the patient has left.
I'm still itching.
I feel better now.
I've had two coffees.
Purely medicinal.
You should have a whisky.
That'll sort you right out.
- What type of sex do you have? - It's mainly oral.
Sometimes it's penetrative.
- OK.
Are you top, bottom, versatile? - We're versatile.
- Condoms for anal sex? - No, we don't.
- OK.
20-year-old student Jazz was a virgin before meeting boyfriend Ash.
When was the last time you had any sexual contact? Oral sex, mutual masturbation - It would have been last night.
- Last night, OK.
But 21-year-old Ash slept around unprotected before committing to Jazz, and previously had crabs.
When did you last have sexual contact with somebody different? Oh - I thinkHalloween? - Halloween, yep, OK.
- Any toys, fisting, rimming, anything like that? - No.
- And are you still in contact with that person? - No.
Do you know if they were from the UK or not? I think he was from the UK.
He had, like, zombie make-up on.
THEY LAUGH OK, so we'll take a swab from the tip of the penis, we'll also take a swab from the back as well, from the rectum, and then we'll get some blood for HIV and for syphilis.
- So I'm just going to pop the cotton bud in.
- OK.
Stay nice and relaxed as possible.
That's brilliant.
Try and relax for me.
Ow.
- Sorry, just a little bit of a wiggle round in there.
- OK.
That's fine, that's all done.
Hello.
Having been swabbed and probed to check for HIV, syphilis, gonorrhoea and chlamydia, Ash and Jazz will now have to wait two weeks to get their results.
If one of us or both of us have got something, then obviously it's going to be an interesting conversation.
I love a little romance.
Coming to the clinic as a couple is surprisingly common to nurses Luke and Abbey.
- I think we do get a lot of people come in as - We see it a lot.
- I tend not to like to take them in as a couple, though.
- Yeah.
We always try to take them in separately, I think.
We won't refuse to see them together, but we do try and make it clear that it's better to be seen separately.
You ask why they're here, "Oh, I'm in a new relationship, I just want to get tested.
" And they've actually been in that relationship for about six months having unprotected sex with that partner.
And you think, "Hmm, OK.
Might be a little bit too late, now.
" Anyway.
They're there, that's the main thing.
- We're not a couple, by the way.
- Aren't we? On the other side of town, Josh is worrying about his results and needs to get things off his chest.
Off to see the old man.
He's one of the lads.
We talk about literally everything.
But today, Josh's dad is not such a lad.
Justdon't like your attitude towards women.
Just like a blow-up doll to you, isn't it? - Having sex and - Deflate her! .
.
chuck it away.
Move on to the next one, don't you? Just because you're Josh, you're not exempt from sexual diseases.
In a way, I hope you have got a little bit wrong with you, just so you learn.
Well, no, it will, it will make you learn.
Make you realise.
- Yeah.
- If you do get something then you've got to go round and tell everybody you've slept with that there's quite a good chance that they've got it.
So you are actually worried about it? - Yeah, course I'm worried.
Who wouldn't be worried? - Well, then use something, then.
It ruins it.
Oh, so does a sexual disease ruin it.
Or a baby.
Touche.
- See you later.
- All right, see you later, boy.
'I've told him time and time again about it.
' When he was staying here with me for a while, he brought home two different girls.
Never bothered using anything, wasn't bothered about it.
I tried to explain to him then about sexual diseases and that, babies He didn't care.
After a wake-up call from his dad, the reality of his upcoming results is starting to dawn on Josh.
At first when you get the test done, you think, "Nah, it's absolutely fine, yeah.
" But after a week of waiting, you think, "Hang on, something's wrong here.
" It starts eating away, eating away at you, eating away at you, and you come to the conclusion after two weeks, you think, "I've got AIDS, I've got AIDS, I've got something.
" But it's just that worry.
I hate worrying.
It's Sunday morning, and although the Leeds clinic is shut for the weekend, Dr Mags is doing overtime.
The last time I was at pride was when I was on the float then dressed as a sailor boy having lots of fun! It's Leeds Gay Pride, and the staff are grabbing the opportunity to spread the safe sex message to the masses.
We're going to be talking to people, getting the low-down on their sexual health.
Also we'll be giving out condoms and hopefully just having a little bit of fun.
One in 500 people in Leeds have HIV, and a quarter of them don't know they have it.
It would be great if we meet people and then they come up to clinic.
Fantastic.
But really it's just kind of making people more aware of us being out there.
And with HIV being most common in the gay community, Dr Mags is keen to inject some safe into the sex that's brewing.
It's been quite a long time since the clinic has been represented at Pride, so this is kind of a bit of a trial, - but I don't want people showing me their bits and pieces.
- Not today.
Not today.
Let's go! As Dr Mags sets off, across town ladettes Krista and Emma are getting ready to tackle Pride for very different reasons.
I'll be so gutted if I get there and there are no straight lads there.
I'll be like, "Come on, let's go.
" All the straight lads will be looking at all the lesbians.
No, there will be straight lads looking for straight lasses, I think.
What did you do last night? I want to know! Has she told you and she's just not.
.
I lost my keys, then I found them again - And then lost them again.
- Then found them again.
Then you lost them again.
Quite a few times.
With their test results still a week away, the girls are relaxed and ready to party.
Where is the worst place you have ever had sex? Lauren.
I've had it on like their apartment steps and it were like the basement.
In his dad's car when it were parked in the driveway! In a bus on Halloween dressed as Batman and Catwoman.
My worst one, probably .
.
when I was leaning out of his bedroom window talking to his best mate and he was stood behind me.
- No! - Honestly? - Yeah.
- What were you saying? Nothing.
We were just talking.
I'llbe downin a minute! See yousoon! See ya.
As the girls make their way to Pride .
.
Dr Mags is in the thick of it demonstrating that when it comes to sexual health, sometimes size does matter.
So you kind of measure the length when it's erect or you can measure the width also and then you can get your free condom size.
Would you like some condoms? Yeah, go on, then.
Do you have any questions about your sexual health or anything - that you want to ask me? - If you get AIDS, does it kill ya? We tend to just say HIV more, these days.
No, it's very rare that people would die of HIV, because the treatment out there is fantastic, so that's why we want people to get tested, so come and see us in clinic.
Can I give you some condoms? There you go.
- Can I give you some condoms? - Yeah, sure.
Condoms.
Condoms? Condoms.
I think I need to get some more condoms.
In the taxi ride to Pride, the girls are still talking dirty.
Oh, God, I were proper filthy last night.
- We want to know the juicy gossip.
- Yeah.
- Well, it were juicy all right.
- Not the actual juices.
I got pissed.
Text him .
.
he says, "All right, I'll be ten minutes," and there you go.
How many times? - Were it four you said, this morning? - 40? - No.
- Forty? Fucking hell! She wouldn't be walking.
I think it were like eight or something.
- Eight times? - Yeah.
Did he come eight times? No.
- That would be impossible.
- That's what I mean, that's why I said it, like.
- Did you come at all? - Yeah, quite a few times.
Not eight.
With 30,000 people partying at Pride, and the celebrations reaching fever pitch - Can I have a chat with you? - No, not really.
No.
All right, thanks - bye! .
.
the safe sex message becomes a harder sell.
What surprised me is that people were saying no to free condoms.
People probably weren't at their most receptive for outreach.
But never one to give up without a fight They've got their condoms and hopefully they'll use them.
.
.
Dr Mags decides that if she can't beat them, she'll join them.
Give me give me give me A man after midnight Won't somebody help me Chase the shadows away Dancing at Pride is as contagious as the clap I'm up all night to get lucky I'm up all night to get some .
.
and the girls are spreading the love.
What? - Padlocks are still sealed.
- Still sealed.
Fuck off.
I saw you.
Shut up, I got his number.
I'll give a while next Friday until he's unlocked her padlock.
I'll give it till Tuesday.
I'm being generous.
I'll give it till the morning! It's not fair that men have a lot more sex than lasses do.
It's a unwritten rule that lads sleep about, but they're like, "You slept with loads of people, you slags!" Why should they have all the fun and us stay at home, like, "Oh, where's my boyfriend?" Why should we not go out and do it? Fuck it.
There's no rule that says women should stay at home and be fannies.
God gave you a minge Use it! With their results due in a week, Krista and Emma will find out whether making use of what God gave them has got them into an almighty mess.
While awaiting his results, student Geoff gets a grilling from old school friend Tina.
Why don't you use protection? It just ruins the mood, I think.
Like, say I was to sleep with you, not that I ever will, cos I've already tried Yeah, it doesn't usually get brought up.
You could get someone pregnant.
- And that is not worth it.
- No, not at all.
Have you had anything before? I've had chlamydia twice before.
Did you not learn from them two times, though? Obviously not.
That's bad.
Third time.
Maybe, anyway.
- Yeah.
- Or you could have something worse.
Like, if I found out I had HIV or something, I definitely wouldn't be as laid-back then.
How do you get rid of gonorrhoea, anyway? I have no idea.
So what you going to do, then, when you get your results? If they come back positive, I'm obviously going to have to let people know.
Do you remember how many people you slept with, though? I'd rather not say.
You can't remember, then? No.
Slutty Geoff.
Slutty Geoff might need to start remembering if he scores an STI hat-trick when his results come in.
At the Leeds clinic, there's one STI that keeps the staff grafting.
Genital warts.
Every clinic I do, my clinics are always full of people with genital warts.
Must be very cold on your genital skin.
Might make you jump at first.
I'm the wart queen! They can come in all shapes and sizes.
Soft, fleshy They can look like little cauliflower segments.
They're typical warts.
Bit cold, as you know, OK? The clinic sees up to 200 cases of genital warts a week.
Some patients don't tolerate it very well.
They say, "Stop, it's burning.
" And other patients, they're fine with it.
They're just let you spray, spray, spray.
Although she's not yet qualified to spray the warts herself, this morning it's up to support worker Dawn to make sure the clinic's liquid nitrogen supply is well stocked.
So what's it used for, then? Erm It's used for freezing warts.
Dave the van man is used to its more heavy-duty application.
We use it for industrial purposes, which is for cutting metal.
We use it for t'food industry.
It's one of the best treatments for warts.
I mean, we do have creams.
Sometimes we can cut 'em off, we don't have to freeze them.
Just one of many treatments, this.
Just in case you were interested! I'll stick to the industrial side, if you don't mind.
Am I putting you off your dinner? While freezing warts isn't everyone's cup of tea That's a strange subject, isn't it? It is.
I mean everyone's aware of it, it's just strange.
.
.
having worked in sexual health for seven years, nothing puts Dawn off HER dinner.
Lunch time! Or almost nothing.
I don't like it when people bring cottage cheese.
It does remind you of what you've seen at t'morning.
Thrush! Cottage cheese! Cottage cheese.
I do like cottage cheese.
I bring it in myself sometimes.
I'm all right when I'M eating it.
But if somebody else is eating it, I think, "Oh, reminds me of that lass "I saw this morning about half nine.
" Oh, Dawn! Waiting for results is no picnic, and down in Exeter, 20-year-old Jazz has an awkward question for his new boyfriend, Ash.
I was just wondering, how many people have you slept with and that before? - Five, sixish.
- Yeah? - Can't really remember proper.
- No? No.
And were they like, were they unprotected? I can't say for sure.
About half were.
- Half were.
- Hmm.
'Bout three or four unprotected.
In the UK, gay men are the group most at risk of contracting HIV, and since Jazz was a virgin before meeting Ash, the burden of a potential STI is on Ash's shoulders.
Feeling a bit nervous about it all now.
As long as we don't have HIV or anything.
Oh.
Don't want to talk about that.
- No? - It's a scary thought.
I don't think so, but .
.
you can never say never.
I don't know for sure if I haven't given him something, and I'd be devastated if I had, so Yeah, I would be upset if it's something I've got, but if I've given Jazz something, I don't know how I'd live with myself.
There's another week to wait before finding out whether Ash's reckless past will change both of their lives for ever.
Leeds student Geoff is facing the possibility of a third bout of chlamydia.
His results are due today and he's relying on his mates for support.
Do you go often and get checked out or what? This was the first time I've been in Leeds, I think.
- You've lived here two year.
- I know.
That's so bad! Not sure if I've got anything, but I reckon that I probably do.
How many people you got to tell? I was thinking about it, and it's more than I thought, and I think I think .
.
it's more than five, but less than ten.
You'll have some women kicking off at you, if you've got something.
They're saved in my phone, but I'll just have to go through and be like, "That's one, that's one.
" That sounded really bad.
PHONE RINGS Oh! - Hello? - Oh, hi, Geoff, my name's Jane.
I'm a health advisor at the Centre For Sexual Health at Leeds.
Geoff, we're just phoning up because we've done your tests.
There's no gonorrhoea, no HIV and no syphilis.
Oh, right.
But we have found chlamydia.
That's come back positive, so obviously as we have found an infection, Geoff, we would like to get you back down to the clinic so we can give you some antibiotic treatment for that.
- All right.
All right.
- Cheers.
Yeah, what we expected.
How bad is it, having it three times now? Well, it is bad, isn't it, but .
.
it's nothing major.
You don't see it as a concern then? You're just gonna keep doing what you were doing and not using protection, you know what I mean? No, no - like, I am gonna start using protection and stuff cos it is stupid that I've got it this many times now.
But before he can put his past behind him, Geoff has to face up to his exes.
Did she mention what you should do with going about telling people that you've slept with? She was just asking if I was still in contact with people.
Some of them knew that I'd like, slept about and stuff, anyway Others might be annoyed.
The Leeds clinic deals with up to a hundred results a day.
Pretend you're in that little Post Office.
Next! Fourteen stamps, next! This is quite a big pile today actually, we were saying this morning.
That is your gonorrhoea positive, and that one is a chlamydia positive.
That is your syphilis positive.
Every one of these I look at is a person waiting for their results so that's why I find it's really important to get these done as well, so if somebody needs contacting that either needs treatment or is waiting for their results, you know, we can get on with them.
Away from his mates, the seriousness of Geoff's chlamydia hat-trick is beginning to sink in.
I do care that I've got chlamydia.
I don't want it any more times than three times, to be honest.
Or anything else.
I understand that I have to tell other people that I've got it because obviously they could have it as well.
I really don't want to do it.
Well, there's the first one that I slept with, who .
.
said for me to get checked out.
Someone afterwards I slept with a few times.
Erm The third one from home Erm Erm Erm Another one from Leeds Erm Erm Uh I'm going to have to go through my phone.
Erm Yeah, I've just been through my full phone book there.
I think it's just five.
It's not too bad, but still, it's five people that .
.
shouldn't really have to deal with it, but It's me that's potentially given them chlamydia anyway, so I do feel bad for it.
Geoff bites the bullet and sends the dreaded text.
Right, I've put, "Hi, it's Geoff, just to let you know "that I got tested and it turns out I've got chlamydia.
"Just in case, I would get checked again, sorry for the random text.
" Geoff's job is done - for now - but if he doesn't wrap it up in the future, three bouts of chlamydia could easily become four.
Down in Exeter, 20-year-old Josh's wait is nearly over.
It's results day.
I could have got something like, a year ago and I haven't been tested since, so it could be eating away at me, do you know what I mean? And it's not very healthy as well.
Like, chlamydia you just pass it around like it's You spread it like butter.
Having caught chlamydia once before, Josh is dreading more bad news.
They wouldn't have rang me, would they? I fucking hope not.
Cos I've missed two calls.
Probably someone I owe money.
MESSAGE ALERT SOUNDS HE SIGHS Fuck's sake.
I don't want to open it.
Yes, get in.
That does mean I'm clear, doesn't it? It's a lucky escape for Josh.
His results are negative.
It's just a massive weight off your shoulders, isn't it? But that waiting time is horrible.
It's horrible.
It's horrible for anyone.
It makes you believe everything.
Fuck you, waiting.
Celebrate time.
Josh heads to the pub to tell mate Brad the news.
So then, you don't look too impressed.
I'm all right, mate.
- No way.
- Uh-huh.
- Really? - Yeah.
Yeah, bad.
They misspelt "all clear".
Oh, really? Get in.
I'm happy for you, mate, that you ain't caught chlamydia.
Cheers, mate.
All clear! Cheers.
Josh has one more person to tell.
Dad.
Hi, it's Josh.
I got my results, didn't I? They're all clear, I'm all good, told you.
When it's just some random, I'll wrap it up.
I might even use two.
With his Dad's words ringing in his ears, Josh is thinking twice about his future use of condoms.
Start wrapping it up, start wearing something on it.
As my dad put it, "Put a crisp packet on and use an elastic band.
" And hopefully his lucky escape won't come back to bite.
Karma.
Karma will hit everyone one day.
It hasn't hit me yet, but it will.
Back at the clinic, there are more results ready and nurse Luke is the man with the news.
There's no hepatitis B, no hepatitis C, no HIV, and no syphilis, OK? What? You're pleased about that.
One patient who's come into the clinic to collect his results Jazz.
Hi, do you want to follow me? .
.
is 20-year-old Jazz.
You've been with your current partner for seven months, so these results will be accurate.
They are all fine, OK? So there's no HIV, no syphilis, no hepatitis B, no hepatitis C.
Chlamydia, gonorrhoea, throat rectal and urine - all fine.
- All right? OK? Good, so you're happy.
- Yes.
Ah, relieved, I'm free from it all.
For now.
Another day done.
Does anyone want to go for a drink with me, ladies? - Is it a large one? - I can get you a large one.
I didn't actually mean that in a way But I can get you a large glass of wine.
Come on.
Hiya.
I have good news for you.
- Yeah? - I'm clear of everything.
- Everything's clear? - Everything.
Oh, brilliant.
But they're not out of the woods yet.
But hopefully you're the same.
- Hopefully.
- Yeah.
That's good news.
- If I have got anything it will be treated - PHONE RINGS It's a call from the clinic.
Hello.
Speaking.
Mm-hm.
Mm-hm.
Cheers, bye.
It was all clear, nothing.
Yeah, all clear as well.
That's good, so we're clear.
HE SIGHS - I'm so glad.
- Me too.
- It's all good.
- Relief, eh? 'With a double dose of good news, 'Ash and Jazz can look forward to an STI-free future.
' Today's going to get naughty.
Back up in Leeds, Krista and Emma are making the most of a day off.
Are you enjoying playing the field? I wouldn't say I'm playing the field.
- I'd say you are.
- Oh, would you? - I love it, it's brilliant.
- Yeah! You can do what you want, when you want.
No-one has to judge you.
I feel a lot better in myself now.
Like when you have one-night stands, you both know the score.
It's like a one-night stand, get over it.
- There you are.
- Thank you.
It's also results day for the girls.
Are you worried about your results? - Genuinely.
- No, I'm not.
- I'm worried for you.
- Thanks(!) We worked out, like the timeframe between you and your ex and the people .
.
and we are worried.
What would you do if it came back and it were positive? I think I'd change myself a hell of a lot.
Because of that.
I said that.
What, and you didn't change? - No.
- No.
I need sex on the beach.
Literally.
Thanks for me gonorrhoea sandwich.
- Would you like some chlamydia sauce? - Oh, yeah.
Oh, that sounds awful.
- And you're still eating.
- MESSAGE ALERT BEEPS - I'm hungry.
- Oh, my shit.
- I daren't read it.
- Have you actually just got it? - Yeah.
- MESSAGE ALERT BEEPS Oh, my gosh, so have I.
SING-SONG VOICE: I've just seen it, man, and I'm negative, do you want to see it? Wait a minute.
Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
I feel like - Are you relieved? Massive, massive, massive relief.
- High-five, mate.
- Yay! We can get drunk now.
Happy drunk, not sad drunk.
It's good news, but will the pair change their ways with condoms? - Are you going to start using them now? - Yeah.
I'll I'll If I think about it, I'll definitely use them.
If you go out on a night out, are you going to take them with you? I might put one in my bra.
Or my shoe.
Might put one in my shoe.
But having had unprotected sex the day before her STI test .
.
Emma will need to return to the clinic to go through the whole process again.
It's an STI cycle that's never-ending and there are always more infections to be treated.
I'm just trying to hunt down some spores.
And when they detect an infection Oh! Oh-oh-oh! .
.
it's a small victory.
Yes! Thank you, God.
We do think we're like, saving t'planet from STI's because you think that at least if somebody's come in and you're treating them for chlamydia because it's such a vicious circle going round.
So, by just treating one person we're saving, you know, half a dozen others.
And while the battle against STI's is never-ending - TANNOY: - Please proceed to counter number two, thank you.
At the end of another long day, the staff are satisfied with a job well done.
You go home at t'end of t'day and you think you've done a good job and you've saved some people.
Saved the world.
Before it all starts again tomorrow.
Next time on Unsafe Sex in the City - Ollie? - Yeah.
- All right, mate, come on.
.
.
18 year old Ollie is given a lesson in safe sex By shoving your penis into a women without a condom, you can catch HIV, hepatitis, chlamydia and gonorrhoea.
I'll just take them as they come, literally.
.
.
farmer Greg finds waiting for his results a real ball ache - What does that feel like, when? - The left one hurts a little bit.
.
.
and clinic staff get up to date with the sex scene in Leeds.
Oh, yeah, unicorning, where they put the dildos on their head.