VICE Does America (2016) s01e03 Episode Script

The Four Presidents & The Sweaty Senator

1 [Cheers and applause.]
Why are we stopped? Is it touching another car right now? It's touching the car.
- Is it hurting it? - Yes.
It's hurting it? Basically, we're like this.
So if we go backwards we can't because it's like that.
We'll come into it.
Can't we just go straight? Yeah, sir, do you know, uh, whose car this is, by any chance? - No? - No.
I don't live here.
Martina: We didn't park well.
It's my fault.
I I I drove the I the RV here.
We tried to move it out, and it got worse.
And now nobody can do anything about it.
- Hey.
- This isn't You know, the gap is not that big.
- Yeah.
- Is this a stolen towel? Yeah, it's from the hotel I think.
Wilbert: It's from the hotel? I think just hop in there and back up.
- Let's try to be, like - I can't.
- No, you got to do it.
- No, you got to do it.
You have to do it.
You got to undone what you done done.
- No.
- Undo what you done.
Then I'm gonna smash I'm gonna destroy this car.
No, you won't.
There's a towel there protecting it.
Yeah.
[Laughter.]
This is not gonna go well, guys.
[Suspenseful music plays.]
Man: Make sure yeah, there you go.
Just back up.
Abdullah: Now straighten out.
Straight, straight, straight.
- Straight! - Straight.
All right, so cut r cut to the - Cut to the right.
- Left.
- Left.
- Oh, yeah.
Cut to the left.
- Left.
- Cut to the left.
Yep.
You got it.
You got it.
You got it.
Keep going.
- Straight? - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, no.
Keep doing what you were doing.
- [Screams.]
- Go, go, go, go, go.
- You're good.
You're good.
- Keep going.
Keep going.
- She got it.
- She got it.
- We're free.
- You did it.
Hey, the towel the towel was a great idea.
All right, let's go.
Let's get out of here.
My name's Abdullah.
I work at Vice as a writer and reporter.
Aah! I'm traveling from L.
A.
to D.
C.
with my two co-workers Wilbert and Martina.
As the country gears up for the most polarized election in our lifetime, we're zigzagging across America, meeting people [Screams.]
Abdullah: and exploring the issues they care about until we reach our ultimate destination - Hey.
- the White House.
[Cheers and applause.]
From Denver, we head deeper into the Black Hills of South Dakota, to the monument of our forefathers Mount Rushmore.
[Thunder crashes.]
Well, there it is, guys Mount Rushmore.
Covered in fog.
- This is it.
- Yeah.
You guys impressed? - Yeah.
- It's big.
I mean, it's an incredible feat to be able to put something like this together.
Abdullah: Do you think these guys deserve to be on a statue? Wilbert: Yeah.
I I think people are complex.
Like, when I look at these some of these guys, I automatically think "slave owners.
" People that were horrible and enslaved my people.
But also there are certain ideas and concepts that they brought to the table that I can appreciate and take stuff away from.
Some of the most fascinating historical figures have a duality to them.
And it's not all good and it's not all bad.
Abdullah: Have you wanted to see Mount Rushmore, - like, your whole life? - Yeah.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Well, what about it is, like, so special to you? Well, it's just so historical.
- Where are you from? - I'm from Alabama.
- Uh-huh.
- Where are you from? From Majorca, Spain.
Oh, I bet it's beautiful.
It is very beautiful, yeah.
Like, which one of these guys is your favorite? Lincoln.
Do you think there's any candidate right now who's anywhere near Lincoln? - No? - No.
Wilbert: You think Obama's gonna get up there one day? [Sighs.]
I don't know.
He might.
- He might.
I think he's - You think he deserves to? I think he's done the best he could do in the situation he went into.
Okay? He didn't he didn't do it.
I think he's tried really hard.
I really do.
I really do.
- Awesome.
- Nice to meet you.
Abdullah: Thanks so much.
Enjoy the rest of your trip.
- Thank you.
- All right.
Take care.
Abdullah: I think it's actually really interesting that in the United States, we sort of treat our own national mythology as a religion.
I can't think of another place that carves actual people's faces into the sides of mountains.
Gods, sure.
But, you know, ac these are actual guys that lived.
America's such a young country that if you don't treat its founding somewhat like a religion, then you can't convince everybody to really buy into it.
This land used to be home to the Lakota Sioux.
And just 16 miles from Mount Rushmore is the unfinished Crazy Horse memorial.
Crazy Horse became legendary in the 1800s for taking up arms against the government, defending the Lakota territory and their way of life.
Wilbert: So, I guess he was, like, kind of a peaceful dude at first, you know.
- After they took the land - Yeah.
they they put the in Native Americans on a reservation, and then they didn't give them, like, the food and clothing that they said they were gonna do.
- Yeah.
- And that was when he was like, "Yo, this is it.
Enough is enough.
" Yeah.
There he is.
- So, you can't really see - Wait, where? Martina: Where? Guys.
H his head is up - See on the right side? - His head is in the clouds.
That's, like, the arm's edge in the clouds.
[Laughing.]
His head is in the clouds.
That's pretty sweet, man.
Once it's done, it's gonna be the biggest statue in the world.
You'll be able to fit all four Mount Rushmore heads in Crazy Horse's head.
Wilbert: The reason why he's pointing is that someone asked Crazy Horse, they're like, "Yeah, wh where are your lands?" And he pointed.
And where he was pointing is saying basically that "My lands are where my people's bodies are buried.
" Unfortunately, we got here on the one day that it's cloudy.
It's supposed to be like 100 degrees.
But we can't see anything right now.
But we're gonna get a much better idea of what the Lakota people are all about, 'cause we're gonna travel east through South Dakota to hang out with some tribespeople.
Abdullah: From here, we head deeper into the Black Hills.
We were invited to a camp constructed by the Lakota Sioux to protest the building of the Keystone Pipeline.
Woman: We are here for one simple reason, and it is to tell President Obama to reject the Keystone XL Pipeline to protect our land and water.
Abdullah: If it's completed, the pipeline will pump 700,000 barrels of heavy tar-sands oil a day across the U.
S.
Considering the oil spills we've had in the past, this could have a catastrophic effect on local water supplies and farmland.
How's it going? Abdullah.
So where exactly are we right now? You're on tribal land.
We set up a a spirit camp here to in opposition to the KXL Pipeline.
And we set up a tepee camp, and you'll be staying in some of our tepees.
That's what this camp is.
A physical embodiment of every single prayer that we have against this pipeline.
The name of the camp is [Speaks Lakota.]
.
That's "the place where it turns.
" The place where it turns.
And, uh, we chose that name because we aim to turn it around and send it back to wherever the hell it came from.
Prophecies were told years and years ago about a black snake coming through that would destroy the land and the water and devastate the people.
This is the last stand for the Great Sioux Nation, for all the Lakotas.
If it if construction starts, it won't get past this point.
Please educate us.
Martina: Before, you you were talking about that this in a like, in a spiritual site.
- Yes.
- Right? What what do you mean by that? This is the physical embodiment of the entire Rosebud Sioux tribe of the fight against the Keystone Pipeline.
The people wanted us to be all militant at the start.
They wanted us to carry guns out here and have security.
What do you see? There's nothing here.
There's nothing to be militant against.
You're talking about the poorest three counties in the entire United States.
We have homes that where 10 families live in a home.
85% of the people on our reservation live in poverty.
A lot of them, you know, they can't come out here because it's so far.
But we have grandmothers tell us, you know, they want us to continue on so our people will live.
This is all the prayers, all the hopes of the people that we protect the land and the water.
And we're gonna do everything we can to protect our land.
Wilbert: Just slept in a tepee.
It was a pretty nice experience.
You know, other than the cold.
- What do you think, Martina? - Uh [Groans.]
I don't like it.
[Laughter.]
Fielder: This is our camp, Oyate Wahacanka Woecun.
It means "of the people.
" And we've been here for a year and a half.
Wilbert: What exactly is the pipeline, and what's the threat it poses? The pipeline is gonna ship that bitumen oil from Canada to Texas.
- And that's, like, crude oil, essentially? - No.
- Like fuel? - It's bottom of the barrel.
It's, like, when everything settles, that stuff on the bottom.
They're gonna ship that through the pipeline.
Now, if that breaks, it'll filter down into the water table.
And and and the solution that the government is giving to you is just to move out? They don't have a solution.
- They just, "We're gonna do this.
" - They're just Yeah.
"We're gonna do it, - and whatever happens, happens.
" - Wow.
Really? How come you guys don't feel more anger a about this? See, that's that's why this camp is here.
Because we're trying to change things through love.
We tried the other way, and it doesn't work.
I mean, aggression brings back aggression.
I mean, if I want to change your mind, I have compassionate words to speak to you with.
The Creator put all of us here to live as one.
And we all start growing apart.
When I was growing up, you never seen a person of a different color with another person.
But nowadays we're all coming together because we're growing in our heart.
That's so interesting you say that, 'cause I think, like, being young people, I think we kind of see it as, like, things are just disastrous, you know? But you you feel like things are actually getting better and improving? Slowly but surely.
You got to remember one thing.
If you look at how old the universe is, we're not even here for the blink of an eye.
And it's up to us, it's our responsibility to develop as much good as we can for our blink.
I'm I am very glad that we met these people, because, finally, there's someone representing what I feel about protesting or defending your rights, whatever, without the need of guns.
It is a clear representation of what I meant when I was at the Bundy ranch.
We are part of the same thing.
We don't need to fight for everything because it's all ours.
Abdullah: Can you imagine having your entire people marginalized and decimated and basically exterminated and still feeling peace? I think that's incredibly inspiring.
And it's really sad that these people are so forgotten in America.
Because we could all learn a lot from them.
In November 2015, President Obama pulled the plug on the Keystone XL Pipeline, citing the devastating impact it would have on the environment.
This was a huge win for the Lakota and many other activists that fought against it for years.
The state department has decided that the Keystone XL Pipeline would not serve the national interests of the United States.
I agree with that decision.
Abdullah: We're going to the Iowa State Fair.
I've never seen a state fair.
Do you have anything in Spain that's like a state fair? - Nah.
Nah.
- Nuh-uh.
Will, are you excited to go to a state fair? Yeah, man.
I love I love state fairs.
I grew up going to state fairs, so, you know This is my shit.
- My shit.
- This is going back home.
[Chain saw whirring.]
Abdullah: The Iowa State Fair is really just a celebration of Midwest farm culture.
People from across the state gather to ride carnival rides, compete in contests Wilbert, drink that milk! Wilbert, drink that milk! and eat lots of food on sticks.
Oh, my God.
We got two of the sticks.
- The chocolate one.
- Oh, baby.
- Yeah.
- It's so good.
Martina: It looks very good.
It's like a a corn dog, but without the hot dog inside, right? I love corn dogs.
- Do you like the corn dogs? - Mucho.
So, the Iowa State Fair plays a really weird role in sort of the American political process.
It's kind of like the kickoff of the 2016 election.
[Crowd chanting "Bernie!".]
Man: The fair has certainly become a tradition for candidates as they try ever so hard to relate.
- [Train whistle blows.]
- Whoo! Hey! Bye! Now go get something to eat, guys.
- You guys want one? - Oh, sure.
Thank you.
These are very good.
- They are super yummy.
- Thank you.
Abdullah: Oh, that's so nice of you.
Is this your first state fair? - [Laughing.]
No! - No? You been to lots of them? Thank you.
Oh, I got the really stuffed one.
- This is very good.
- That's awesome.
- Is this your first time here? - Yeah.
Oh, perfect.
- Mm-hmm.
- Are you headed to Ted Cruz? - He's right down here.
-Oh, really? - He's right down here? - Yeah.
- Yeah, maybe he'll chat with us.
- Yeah.
Wilbert: Like, one of his parents was an American, but he was born in Canada, and one of his parents was Cuban.
Ask him, like, what he thinks of the 14th amendment, and, like, immigration.
Wha what's the 14th amendment? The 14th amendment is about naturally born people.
So, like the idea is, like, you could if you had a kid, your kid would be an American.
- And he doesn't want that? - Well, 'cause yeah, because then it would be easier for you to stay here.
- Yeah, yeah.
- They call them anchor babies.
Abdullah: Oh, that's him.
Guys, we found him.
We found Ted Cruz.
Let's go.
I'm glad you're here.
And I bet you, if you ask really nice, Mom might let you try a a fried Twinkie.
How you doing, Mr.
Cruz? We've been driving across the country.
We came all the way here to see you.
Well, fantastic.
Thank you for being here, sir.
What's gonna be your first act as president, sir? I I just gave a speech outlining all five things that that I'm gonna do.
- Cool.
- Excuse me, sir? Can I get a photo with you, sir? How's it been on your campaign trail? - How's it been going? - It's fantastic.
The energy we're seeing is incredible.
- Sure.
- Would you sign his cast? Wilbert: He didn't want to talk real talk, so it basically played it for the stupid scene that it was.
This is me kissing Senator Ted Cruz, or about to.
[Snickers.]
Got my lips puckered.
Well, one of the incredible things about our campaign - Oh, we should have had a microphone.
- Yeah.
He would have talked to us if we had a microphone.
Martina: Chris gave us a fake microphone.
It wasn't connected to anything.
And that gave us access.
Hey, Mr.
Cruz, what's your favorite snack at the Iowa State Fair? You know, I ha I I haven't gotten to eat anything yet.
I'm getting ready to flip some pork chops.
But I heard this year the winner for the best new food was brisket wrapped in bacon with hot sauce on it, - so I'm definitely gonna try that.
- All right.
You know what? This is a lot of pork, but it doesn't come close to Washington.
[Scattered chuckles.]
This Iowa State Fair has been going on for a long time, and presidential candidates have been coming here for a long time.
And the hand-shaking and the baby-kissing and the pork-chop flipping, it it works for them.
It was a nice little slice of the circus that goes around the American presidential election.
Hey, you guys you guys just got stuff signed by Mr.
Cruz? Can we ask you a couple questions? Any specific issue that's really important to you guys ahead of the elections? Well, what I like most about him is the way he stands up to the established, uh, Republicans in in the Senate, so He's the total package.
He's got he's got control on the border, he's got character, faith, integrity.
You think Washington needs more religion right now? - Yes.
This nation needs more religion right now.
- What kind of religion? Like, any specific one, or all religions? Well - Biblical.
- You're yeah.
Biblical.
Wilbert: Hey.
Excuse me, sir.
- Did you just meet, uh, Ted Cruz? - Yes.
Are there any particular policies or things that are really important to you right now? Um, well, border control is one.
Uh, right now we've got so many, uh, criminals coming in our southern border.
There's no control over it.
And is there anything else that really concerns you about America right now? Well, if we don't change its direction, we're gonna lose America as we know it.
[Imitating hog call.]
We're signed up to be contestants, uh, the three of us.
- For the hog calling? - Yes, ma'am.
[Cheers and applause.]
Man: Greetings.
This is pig Latin for "come and get it.
" [Squealing.]
Woman: [Screeching.]
Pig! Here, pig, pig, pig! Pig! Here, pig! Pig, pig, pig! Here, pig, pig, pig! Abdullah: This is our last event of the day.
We've entered the hog-calling contest.
Essentially, each of us has to get up there, squeal like a pig, and do it better than everyone else here.
[Squeals.]
[Applause.]
[Rising in pitch.]
Sooey! Soooooey! Sooeyyyyyyyy! Pig, pig, pig, pig, pig, pig, pig! Piggy! [Cheers and applause.]
I've done this for about 10 years, and I've won Iowa, Illinois, and Nebraska.
Wilbert: Oh, wow.
So, what makes a perfect pig call? - Hog call? - You know, you got to put a little variety in it.
'Cause you got different judges every year.
Some are looking for "sooey," some are looking for the squeal.
So, you just give it your heart and just get the crowd.
Woman: Number 228.
228.
[Shrieking.]
[Cheers and applause.]
[Whistles.]
- Man: Here, pig, pig, pig, pig, pig! - - Here, pig, pig, pig, pig, pig! - - Sooey! - - Sooey! - Number 222.
Hi.
I'm from Spain.
I came all the way to the state to the fair of Iowa.
[Cheers and applause.]
I'll do my own version.
The Spanish version.
Puerco! Puerco! Puerco! Puerco, puerco, puerco! [Shrieks.]
Man: Yeah! [Cheers and applause.]
What's up, everybody? My name is Will Cooper.
I came here from Brooklyn.
I've never been in a hog-calling contest before, but, uh, I want you guys to roll with me and help me help me figure it out.
[Cheers and applause.]
Since, uh since you guys are clapping, can I can I get a clap? Like a steady clap like [Audience clapping rhythmically.]
Hey, piggy, piggy, piggy, pig, pig Hey, piggy, piggy, piggy, pig, pig Come here Come here Hey, piggy, piggy, piggy, pig, pig Hey, piggy, piggy, piggy, pig, pig Come here Come here All right.
Now, when I say, "Hey," I want you to say "Pig.
" - Hey! - Pig! - Hey! - Pig! When I say, "Hey," I want you to say "Pig.
" - Hey! - Pig! - Hey! - Pig! All right.
Thank y'all so much.
[Cheers and applause.]
And first place for 2015 is 223.
Yeah! [Cheers and applause.]
- You did it, man.
- Thank you.
- You did it, man.
- Thank you.
Yeah! Whooo! Reporter: This guy's so special, our hog-calling winner, that we gave him his own microphone.
- What's your name, sir? - Uh, my name is Wilbert L.
Cooper.
- How'd you learn to hog call? - I didn't.
- You know, I just kind of - [Laughs.]
Today was the first time I ever hog-called in my life.
[Laughter.]
Uh [Laughs.]
Hit it, man! You got a blue ribbon.
Hey, piggy, piggy, piggy, pig, pig Come here Come here Come here - All right.
That's it.
- That was awesome! Woman: Now, that's a whole different kind of hog calling.
First time our hog caller - has ever come from Brooklyn, New York.
- Tom, you ever heard anything like that before? Abdullah: Oh, check it out.
Look, look, look.
- Beautiful.
- Oh, wow.
You guys have fun at the State Fair? - Hell yeah.
- Yeah.
Wilbert: We pretty much did it to the fullest.
We might have missed a couple things, but we really got deep in this fair, man.
How I ended up in a hog-calling competition, I do not know.
This shit is so we it's just weird.
I was on the news.
I was on the news.
Martina: America is crazy.
It is a crazy, weird place to be.
And there's things that I will never understand about American culture and American politics.
But at the same time, I really like being here.
Now we are going to Texas.
And I believe it's gonna be even more crazy.
Abdullah: In May, Ted Cruz dropped out of the presidential race, clearing the path for Donald Trump to clinch the Republican nomination.
It it it'd make me happy if I started tossing pork over my shoulder.
- Yeah.
- Right here in my mouth.
Woman: The charrería comes from Mexican.
But since we're in the U.
S.
, it has to be a little bit of both.
Do you guys agree with a level of border protection? They say all Mexicans, we're all drug dealers.
This is a desperate person that desperately wanted to have a life.
The border's where the American dream goes to die.

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