Video Game High School Vghs (2012) s02e01 Episode Script

Welcome to Varsity

Hey, what do you think about Italian? For a first date? Depends, are we talking on pizza or pasta? So complicated Ted, my sword! Hang on dude, I got something cooler! You should invite her on a study date.
Everyone loves to study! Oh man, poor props.
We're up all night farming this guy All night! All night? Do you know what this means? We're late for class! Come on Ki! Delivery! Class is cancelled! Score! More time for questing! BD I'm looking at you! Oh, sorry dude! I gotta go get ready.
We're meeting the new FPS coach today.
Oh man, there's always a FPS thing.
What about you Ki? Wanna grind some mobs? How can you think about grinding in a time like this? We have no class.
I haven't learn anything in weeks.
I'm off to yell at Calhoun! Whatever, I guess I'll nab some zeez# before drift class.
I don't get sleepy BD, I get gamey Oh man I'm tired Here.
You could# use# this extra fuel.
Oh yeaah Brian! Thank God, hold this.
What is all this stuff, Jenny? Playbooks, scorials#, anything to show the new coach I'm awesome.
Still going for to Varsity, yeah? Totally yeah, whatever it gets to tape me to the flagpole.
## Wait They tape you to a flagpole? It's an old Varsity tradition.
Plus, I'm gonna lose my mind if I have to keep baby-sitting JV.
Oh, not you, I mean you're great.
It's just Them One Two three! ### nerds, the trial's on! Well another bad day in court for VGHS superstar the Law, accused of first-degree hacking by the Anti-Aimbot association.
Word is coming the former FPS coach Bob Jackson has fled to Zanzibar, refusing to testify on Law's behalf.
Hey! How you doing out there? Thanks for coming out, that means a lot.
Alright, I'll just get through this.
Hum In light of these super bogus cheating allegations, and out of respect to VGHS, the last place in the world that truely believes in me, my legal team and I feel it's in my best interest To punch through my ### statement, fire my legal team and swear vengeance on the loser who dared frame the law! You're going down, buddy, just like this podium! No! I never cheated, I never lose! #### No one can stop! Get ready to run#! Wooh! I can't believe I dated that guy Yeah Hum, so I was gonna grab some pizza and pasta with Ted and Ki at my room# tonight but they kinda wanna just stay inside and hang out You wanna come? Wha Really? Awesome, I was thinking around 7 Are they allergic to anything? Because I can make my #### Oh, no, they're not coming TedHum It's just gonna be the two of us.
We grab some Italian food, and maybe catch a movie Just, you know, hang out This doesn't really sound like "hanging out" Brian.
It sounds like you're asking me on a What's that call? You know, when you like someone, you're asking them on what? A date.
Yes, I'm asking you on a date, Jenny.
Please come to my date? Okay.
Thirty seconds late, Jenny, off to a bad start.
Mom?! Coach Matrix! Fall in! Asleep at the wheel, Theodore? Sorry DK, long night Ah! No doubt toiling over the book report you were about to give me.
The one that's due today? Book report? Oh, shucks, I left it in my room, can I just get it to you on Monday? You didn't do it, did you? No way, I super-did it, I swear If you speak the truth, then deliver on to me at the FPS tourney The report.
You want it by tomorrow? I wanted it by today.
We have an FPS team in shambles with sponsors dropping like flies and you bring out a wild card like Marry Matrix? ## #### your job, Calhoun, I hope you made the right choice.
Not the right choice, the only choice.
No if you'll excuse me, I have a school to run.
What the crap do you two want?! Tell Freddie to give me homework, we haven't had an assignment in weeks.
You want homework? Didn't you come here to play video games? - Actually I came here to learn about gamers, but makes them ## - #### Ki, nobody cares.
Freddie, come on, you know the rules.
Tss, I know I rule.
Just give her homework each week.
This is a school, God damn it! Fine, fine Ki, your homework for every week, forever, is to do no homework! Nice try, Freddie, but I don't think that counts.
- That counts.
- What?! - In your face! Just breath, Ki #### Dean Calhoun, I respectly request to be withdrawned from Freddie's class.
Yeah I know.
But you don't get to do that.
You don't get to withdraw from a class, you have to get kicked out by the teacher.
## And that's never gonna happen, you ugly ###! But Okay.
That doesn't make any sense, there's got to be a loophole - Why don't you look for that loophole elsewhere?! If you two don't mind, I have a school to run.
### That's what I'm talking about, Calhoun, you're my man, right there.
## Lay it down, large and charge.
Give me the bones.
Pound it.
Right here.
Pound me ## So you lost your star player, big whoop.
You know what's better than a star player? - Having a star team.
- No, a star coach, that's me.
As the head coach of the Denver Commandos, I've never lost a pro championship, but I'm sure it's hell not going to start at the high school level.
I do not like wasting time.
Speaking of which, JV, I can't bother with you, so you just do whatever it is like you do.
Varsity, let's talk business.
This is the new Playbook.
Banged# it out last night.
Memorize it by game time.
Memorize a million moves by Monday morning Miss Matrix that's marble madness! You're cut from the team, Alliterator.
Anyone else? Well, it was fun while it last.
Goodbye everybody! So I see the rest of you at the game.
Dismissed.
Move it! So your mom is the new coach, that's cool, right? See you at 7, Brian.
Okay, yeah, see you in my place.
Trying to butter up the new coach? I can handle our annual phone call, but hum Is there a reason why you're here? Yeah, Calhoun called in a favor and I thought: "Why not? I'll stop my daughter from screwing up her career".
Okay, you're here, whatever, yay About that spot on Varsity, I want it.
And when you're ready for it I Ready?! Are you serious? Is there anything else, because I have a game that I need to prep# for.
Story of my life.
Good talk, mum.
That's the last rule book.
There're no loopholes I'll never have homework again.
Hey, Kiwi Got the homework blues? Me too I will be up all night doing this long, boring, succulent, savoury homework Man I'm hungry, and sleepy.
Do you wanna us eat a pizza and go to bed? ## - Ted! I need your help! - You got it best friend! Ted, wait! You left your home work.
Okay, man, this place is bocks#! No I'm really gotta hate clean this place ## Alright, thanks buddy.
Hey, what do you think? Tommy Vercetti or Max Payne? I don't want to smell like a guy that has nothing to lose.
Or do I? No no no no, Ted, you gotta wake up man! Jenny's gonna be here any second! I get it - Well hello - Got a moment? Sure Miss Coach, what's up? It smells like you have a date, so I'll just cut to the chase# I just talked to Varsity, phew, they hate you.
- Oh good? - Yeah, I thought the same thing.
See, I need someone to make them mad, to let a fire under their asses, and your ass is that fire.
So I am ### you in the Varsity game tomorrow.
What?! Jenny Hum, Benny, Ted Benny, my roommate, Ted Benny.
The stories I can tell you about Tedd Benny Oh man, I'm sure he's in one of those classic jams, again.
Hum be right ###.
- Hey you! - Do you mind if we skip dinner and stay in tonight? Sure, but hum The ###, where's the ###? ###? Oh, I must forgot.
Look Jenny, just because Ted and Ki ain't here #### Okay, hum I think I have some ####, in my room That sounds great yeah, go get that! Please Okay, sure.
Oh, bring chips too.
Haha, you so funny, oh my goodness - So, about tomorrow's game, I really think that who you should ### - I see you at the game, Brian.
Yes, ma'am.
#### My goodness Here's your ###, weirdo.
Jenny, wait, listen we gotta talk,alright? Your mum Brian please You mind if we just relax tonight? We need chips We need chips.
Chips.
Oh Come on Ted! Come on Ted, be awake.
Ted! Jenny's here.
In her pyjamas#! She looks terrible# I think we gonna cuddle! But, but her mom has just ### me in Varsity tomorrow but she wants to ### tomorrow, and if I tell her, that's gonna ruin our date! Dude, what do I do? Brian? - Ki? - Do you have homework? ## What? Where's Ted? Oh, I don't know.
And I don't care.
I just finished his homework, and I need more.
What do I do? Welcome to Varsity, Brian! Brian? Brian?! Brian!! One second Brian, I have another phone call coming in.
Hello, Ki's phone, this is Ki speaking? - Hello Ki.
- This isn't what it looks like! It's look like you're doing your homework! This is not mine, I promise.
Oh, if that's not yours, that's o Wait man, not doing your homework? Isn't that the homework I assigned you? Hahaha! "F" stands for more than just Freddie King It also stands for "You Faaiiled" Yes, mwhahaha! Hahaha! You ### my class, Ki.
No! Oh God! Brian? So? You're ### tomorrow.
Yeah Sorry, I wanted to tell you, I just I mean, you said yes to us dating, ## or, at least going on a date and I I don't want to ### in.
Yeah, I get it.
- You're probably pretty pissed.
- Oh yeah.
Well If it makes you feel better, I have had a wedgie before they put me up here, ## and everything I do makes it worse ## Well, settle in, you've got a long night ahead of you! And, an entire Playbook to learn.
If I ### you, you cut me down? And ruin 40 years of tradition? Bad# chance.
Okay.
Page 1: the Panamopanzer formation.
You have two guys on the left and the rest of your team stays back on# the base.
At second thirty, you send Good morning me! Oh crap! I forgot my homework! - So, both the ### flank left.
- Exactly.
Hi ###, what's going on? The Law's verdict came in.
The Law, in regards to the charge of aim-botting in the first degree, we find you Guilty.
On behalf, #### #### forever.
What?! Also, the VGHS Varsity FPS team is stripped of its victories and banned from this year's High School Championship.
- What?! Thank you on #### report, and may God have mercy on your soul! - Wait, so does that mean - It means the season's over.
Varsity can't even go to play-offs.
Well, peace guys.
I'm going to Yale.
For they need a sniper.
Did you even read your contract Marry? You signed on for a season.
No dice#.
Don't you dice# me.
#### Have your lawyers call my lawyers That won't be necessary.
What's the hell is this? A loophole.
And it looks like this game is finally gonna get a Wait a minute.
Is this the JV team? What's the heck is Marry Matrix thinking? If she just received the same news ### I did, she's thanking "Thank God" to weird student Ki Swann who just discovered a loophole allowing JV to take the Varsity's place in VGHS's ### for the championship.
I guess technically the #### applies to Varsity, the JV squad can do what Who cares, it makes# for great TV.
Thanks for watching! It's just like any of the game, guys.
- Except, we lose all our games.
### not this time.
- Let's go! - VGHS! Go for the bomb! Thirty seconds to plank#! Cyber Dwarves, Cyber Dwarves!! Ki! There you are! Have you seen my oh, backpack! Alright, let's do this thing! - Oh wait, hum, I Ted, hu Is that what I think it'd be? By my ###, this is Amazing! A+, the best paper I've ever looked at! So many words! It pains me to admit, old friend, that I have doubted you.
Please accept my apologies.
Yeah And my ### dog.
They're coming.
Lock it down.
Watch out for sniper fire.
Where's the bomb? Tight game, and VGHS scores by the skin of their lucky underpants.
They'll need more than underpants to close the deal against this powerful Cyber Dwarves defense in the final round.
DK! Take it back! I didn't write that paper.
I don't know who did, but I'm really sorry.
I wanted to do it, I just didn't.
There's no excuse.
I'm a butt.
Oh Theodore A butt you may be, but an honest butt at that.
The ### dog is yours, the paper is mine! By Monday.
You got it! Yeah! Alright guys, final round.
Please, tell me that somebody read my Playbook.
- I did.
- I did.
Special Delivery.
Got it? Go! Take of front! ## Games, Moriarty make some noise.
Split! See you, assholes#! Look out for Jumpin' Jax! VGHS, VGHS, VGHS! Final chance for VGHS! It all comes down to Jenny Matrix and Brian D.
Brian, they're on you.
Don't blow up, don't blow up! Jenny, get ready for the chance of your ## VGHS wins!! Hey! Practice is at 5 AM.
Don't be late.
Nice loophole, Ki! Consider yourself off from ####.
But I didn't find a loophole, sir, hum Ki! He means a loophole to his heart.
I hate both of you.
- I won! - You won! - Yes! We won! - Of course we did! Welcome to Varsity.
Thanks, you too.
So Pizza or pasta? Brian I can't.
It sucks but we're in Varsity now, and my mum's the coach, and I'm the captain of Varsity, I have to get us to play-offs, it's just It's too much.
Probably hate me now, huh? No Jenny I don't hate you.
I really like you.
I know.
Friends? I'll see you at practice, captain This is gonna be a weird year, Brian.
You said it.
You know what guys? As long as the three of us are together, no Ted! Get back to work! No questing until you have ten pages.
Okay, okay, sorry.
Sorry buddy, you just told us to keep you focus.
Hey, Brian D, my best buddy! What's up? So, hum, Marry Matrix made you and me roommates, isn't that awesome? Put all of my stuff everywhere!
Previous EpisodeNext Episode