Video Nasty (2025) s01e01 Episode Script

1
This programme contains strong
language from the start,
discriminatory language and some scenes
which some viewers may find upsetting
Come on, lads, hurry it up.
Don't want to get raided.
I have to check the tracking.
The tracking!
SCREAMING
If you don't want it, go watch
fucking Ghostbusters, yeah?
Relax, Christy, will you?
Give us a minute.
Is it real? Yeah.
It's genuine. First generation.
Look, this is the last
of the money, all right?
Don't throw it away.
Just stick to the plan.
Follow my lead and don't show
any weakness, yeah? Yeah.
Not a penny over 25. Mm.
Let's go.
The best we can do is 20, all
right? That's all we have.
You're fucking joking? I'm
taking all the risks here.
The distributor of that film, he's
in prison. You know that, lads?
OK, then. 30, all
right? But no more.
It's number 71, it's worth it.
Ah!
You've nearly got the full
video nasty collection.
And you need this one.
40, or I walk.
MUSIC: Sanctify
Yourself by Simple Minds
Lads, do yourselves a favour.
Leg it.
Is this the age of
the thunder and rage?
Can you feel the ground
move round your feet?
If you take one step closer
It'll lead to another
The crossroad above
is where we meet
I shout out for shelter
I need you for something
The whole world's out
They're all on the street
Control yourself
Love is all you need
Control yourself
In your eyes ♪
"You have been warned," is the
message to video retailers.
If you stock any of the
titles on a list circulated
by Scotland Yard, you
could end up in court.
Public concern is growing as more
evidence of the video's corruption
of children comes to light.
The video nasty has
replaced the conjuror
and the party games at parties.
I haven't seen it. I have far
too much respect for my mind.
We actually saw people
eating live monkeys' brains.
The DPP has compiled a list of
72 films that are to be banned.
10,000 tapes have been seized.
Police seized 22,000 cassettes.
One of 4,000 video nasties
seized in the biggest raid yet.
I can't understand people who get
entertainment value from death,
gore, torture and horror.
Love is all you need ♪
These films not only
affect young people,
but I believe they
affect adults as well.
Open up your heart
Sanctify yourself
Sanctify
Be a part of me
Sanctify
Sanctify ♪
Enjoy your Catholic
couples course.
It's a religious retreat.
Mm-hm.
We'll be checking
everything when we get back.
Homework, chores, everything.
One step out of line, you'll be
grounded till after your exams.
Yeah, you'd love that.
Me stuck here so you don't
have to speak to each other.
BRAKES SQUEAL
There he is now.
And Billy. How you doing?
Keep an eye on
her, will you, OK?
Make sure she goes in tomorrow.
You're the responsible one.
I'm the older one!
Lads, you off to watch a movie?
Yeah, erm, Karate Kid.
Right? Yeah.
Wax on, wax off.
See yous on Sunday.
See you Sunday.
Has your dad even
seen Karate Kid?
Has he fuck.
Ahem.
Look, you behave
yourself, all right?
Rent a movie and get
a few cans of Coke.
I want a chipper too.
What? And I need materials
for my art project.
OK, but that's it. OK, bye now.
All right, Number 71.
Usual rules - no screaming,
no looking away.
And no shitting yourself.
That was one time.
Is there tits in this, or what?
Nah, the sex is all implied
in the sound design.
I'm just fucking with you.
I thought you were going all
Kubrick on me. Fuck Kubrick.
The Shining was tame.
Me and you, we'll top that.
Oh, wait till we get
to London next year.
Get some work on sets, work our way
up, make some proper, gory shit.
Yeah. Yeah, let's just finish
the collection first
..before anyone cops
where the Debs money went.
CLUNK
Look, stop freaking out
about the money, all right?
It's just a stupid
graduation dance.
You're the treasurer.
You're entitled to
invest that money.
Invest?
I'm not sure people at
school will see it that way.
It's their money we
spent on these videos.
They won't have to see it.
I haven't even booked a venue.
Yeah, we'll pay it all back when
we sell the full collection.
Right? All we have to do
is find the final tape.
We already have a lead.
What, your pen pal?
She's not a pen
pal. She's a source.
Yeah, well, she's in
the middle of nowhere
in the middle of middle England.
She can't do a postal
exchange on this one,
even if she does get
her hands on the tape.
Well, then, we'll find it here.
All right?
Don't lose your nerve now.
CLUNK
MAN SCREAMS
Get out! The girls
are on their way.
No! This is our time.
You have the whole house.
Uhh! There's no video player.
What are you even
watching anyway?
Girl Gets Killed In The Woods 4?
Spoiler - she gets killed
in the woods again!
It's Nightmares In
A Damaged Brain.
It's extremely
rare and valuable.
And weird! Take your
messed-up video and get out!
You're not using my VCR
to watch Flashdance again.
Do you want me to tell Mum and
Dad about your video collection?
They left their phone number.
Who are they going to believe?
I'm the altar boy.
You're the one they
think has gone mental.
I'll get their camera as well.
Give them a nice surprise
when the roll's developed.
All right, all right! Fine!
You can have the room.
Well, I'm taking this.
Oh, come on, don't
be an arsehole.
You're on your bike, how are
you even going to carry it?
I can carry the plug.
Billy, what are you doing?
Billy, put it back!
Put it back!
Prick!
I don't know what
he's got over you.
He's going to get you
strung up over that cash.
Shut up about it, will you?
I knew we shouldn't
have told you.
Have you told him
about next year yet?
Jesus, Con. You're going to have
to tell him eventually, you know?
MUSIC BLARES
Da, will you turn it down?!
Shut up. That's Tony Allen.
Don't disrespect.
This is your music.
I don't even know
what he's saying.
It's Niger. Oh-ho!
Irish boy!
You pick it up if
you listen properly.
Can you not put things back?
Then how would you learn
to look after the place?
Someone has to prepare
you for the real world.
What are you even doing
making a sandwich?
I'm cooking. Stop complaining.
You'll be a happy man when
you see what I've got.
Did you get some more
of those seized tapes?
Some idiots tried to
smuggle them in from Italy.
I don't know why you can't
trade some nice comedies.
They're not as valuable. Hmm.
At least you are
showing some initiative.
Take what you need, bring the
rest over to the video shop.
See what TJ will
pay me for them.
There's a few good ones in here,
but it's mostly Italian
giallo that I already have,
and some mainstream
shit that TJ won't take.
What about this girl in
England, your pen pal?
Fangoria Fungirl?
Trade them with her.
Figure it out.
Nobody's going to
hold your hand.
It's Fangirl, not Fungirl.
And she's not a pen pal.
She's a fellow collector.
Ha! Is she collecting
boyfriends?
Why does she write
to you so much?
DOG BARKS
RUSTLING
Hello?
Right, then.
Let's go through
Let's just do it.
Why? Because it's hurling today.
And faking off PE
is fucking cliche.
I want it to be authentic.
But I'm good at faking injuries.
Stop fucking with my vision, Con!
Eyes on the prize.
Now, we've got the hot plate,
the heating mantle
Right, then. Fuck it!
OK.
On the count of
three, yeah? Yep.
Three
..two
..one. HE GASPS
THEY WINCE Gah!
It would be good if
we could get out tonight
It would be great if we
could make something happen
We can run, we can run, we
can run, we can run all night
We could find, we could find, we
could find a place to hang around
No-one's man enough No!
No-one's bad enough No!
No-one's crazy any more
No-one's man enough No!
No-one's bad enough. ♪
Any leads in the classifieds?
I can't see anything.
It's hard to decipher
some of these messages.
Got one for you.
The Gingerdead Man.
You know, like the
gingerbread man.
What's it about? Ginger zombies.
If they bite you,
your pubes turn red.
Run, run as fast as you can.
You can't escape
The gingerdead man. Yeah!
That's a good one.
DOOR OPENS
All right, queers.
What is it this
week, wanking injury?
Close, I'd say.
You're predictable. Look at yous
with your gay little bandages.
You people are just scared
to get a whack of a hurl.
"You people?"
What ever happened
to me being a Paki?
Oh, that was fun. Wildly
inaccurate, obviously,
but fun. Shut the fuck
Ooh!
You're really phoning
it in today, aren't you?
You want to watch your mouth.
See, I've been hearing things.
Throwing around
money on videotapes.
That little sister
works in the hotel,
says there's no booking
for the debs ball.
If I find out you're after
taking my money, I'll burst you.
The fuck away from me.
Ooh!
No-one's bad enough No!
No-one's crazy any more
No-one's man enough No!
No-one's bad enough No!
No-one's crazy any more. ♪
You all right? Me?
Yeah, I'm grand.
You can't let them
get to you, man.
I mean, we watch heads explode,
entrails getting torn out.
We deal in illegal contraband.
They think they're
hard. We're fucking
..rocks.
Yeah, well, they'll still smash
us to pieces if you don't get
their debs money back.
Yeah, well, we'll push TJ on it.
See if he has any leads.
Sure you're all right?
Yeah.
I said it right to his face.
I was like, "Sir, get fucked."
Like, the only reason you
failed me is because my mum
wouldn't have sex with you. In
fairness, that's a pretty messed-up
way to talk to your dad.
Yeah, I know, but, like,
I told him not to take
the job at our school.
Dick. Since when did you
drop out of honours maths?
When you were out sick.
For weeks.
What?
Nothing.
It's just, you never
came to the phone.
Like, what was wrong with you?
Who are you, my ma?
Who cares?
Are we starting
this party, or what?
It's midterm. I want
to get shitfaced.
Hey, Con!
Can you nick us some holy
wine from Father Pervert?
No, he can't. He nearly
got caught last time.
Like you care. The
shit you drag him into.
I'm right here. You're not
invited to my party, by the way.
You can stay at home and
shag your video player.
Why don't you go home and cry
and hide out in your room again?
Yeah, well, you can forget
about dragging him to London
with you next year.
He's not going.
Zoe. What? It's true. I'm
doing you a favour here.
She's she's
Zoe!
It's not what you
think. I want to go.
I do, I just can't.
What are you talking
about, "Can't?"
My folks, they won't let me.
I have to go to
college, Billy. Here.
Why are you such a pushover?
Go on! Go home.
Hey!
You shitheads want
to come to a party?
TJ: Now, this scene was
actually cut in the US version.
It's pretty hardcore stuff.
Oh, man, look at them eyeballs.
Ah, love it.
We actually see the
inside of the skull.
Now, you wouldn't
see that on RTE One.
They used cow intestines
for this scene.
Yeah. This is, like
This this
Yeah, so, this tape was actually
transferred from the Italian master
Sick bastards
Yeah, well, apparently, the
lead actor was paid in drugs.
So, if you're looking to buy,
sale price is negotiable.
For rentals, I charge double
for nasties, triple for blueys,
quadruples for blasphemies.
Oh, and an extra-special
fiver for Life Of Brian.
Nice one. Good man. You're on.
Ha-ha! What has my favourite
freak got for me today?
Is that supposed
to be a compliment?
All right. Bad
day at the office?
Don't let the bastards
grind you down.
Unless you're going to film it.
HE IMITATES A CHAINSAW
Dad got another haul.
Let's see what we can do.
No. Yes!
Ooh, expose. Yes, please.
Any luck with,
er, Damaged Brain?
Fuck me!
This is a first
generation original.
Mm-hm. HE SNIFFS DEEPLY
Oh, you can smell
the wrongness of it.
Too much?
All right, what is
wrong with you today?
You're down to the final film, I
thought you'd be doing cartwheels.
It's nothing.
Just money issues.
TJ SCOFFS
Con's not coming to
London next year.
Oh, man. I mean, I'm fine.
It's just, he could
have told me, you know?
That was the plan, the dream
..to work on a real film set.
Well, you still have
the rest of the year.
I mean, finish the collection
together for a start.
You're down to the last tip.
William Asher's Nightmare Maker,
aka Butcher, Baker,
Nightmare Maker,
aka Night Warning!
Do you have any leads?
Because I can't
find anything local.
No. Trail's gone as
cold as a witch's tit.
Here, what about hitting up
that sexy pen pal of yours?
She's not
I don't even know
what she looks like.
Well, whatever. I thought
she had a lead on one.
But, man, you should see what people
are paying for the full collection
on the black market.
You get that tape, I'll get
you three grand within a week.
If I was you, I'd be swimming
over to England to get that tape.
Right, tell your dad I'll
drop that money down to him.
Oh, and tell him I'm
running low on blasphemy.
Keep them coming.
Class.
After six increasingly
bitter months of strike,
to ask how and
where it might end.
But what is?
Ah, waiting. How did we do?
Uh-uh. There's plenty left here.
He didn't need many.
You should have convinced him.
Here, another letter
from your pen pal.
Don't get carried
away with that girl.
She'll take you for an idiot.
Not every girl is like Mum.
I don't understand.
We're going to England.
She has the tape.
Nightmare Maker.
If we don't go
tomorrow, it's gone.
This is our chance,
Con. We get the tape,
we sell the collection,
we pay back the money.
Wait, just slow down
for a second, will you?
Look, she'd rather do a
tape exchange with us.
We have doubles of
three films on her list.
This is the trip, man!
One last fucking hurrah
before all this shit hits!
OK, well, if I can't
go to London
Con, by the time you
get back from this trip,
you'll be gagging to
come with me next year.
So, are you in?
Yeah. Good, because I already wrote
back and told her we're coming.
OK, but we've no cash left,
so how do we pay for the
ferry, the bus, everything?
Your sister. Oh!
No, she's the only one who
knows how screwed we are.
She has to help.
I mean, all we
need is a few quid.
Fine, I'll do it.
Wait, you're not going to
go ask her now, are you?
Well, would you rather ask
her now when she's drunk,
or tomorrow when she's hungover?
Oh, yeah. Yeah. OK, let's.
Hey, wait.
We're all right, aren't we?
Yeah.
I'm not going to let your parents
ruin this for us, OK? Yeah.
You and me, we need
to finish this.
We can get it done
in, like, two days.
Easy. Great. OK, I'll call
my parents at the hotel
and tell them I'm going to
Catholic Boy Scouts. Sound.
We're going camping!
MUSIC BLARES
Oi! Thin Lizzie, you have some
fucking neck showing up here.
I live here!
Are you doing a
shot?! WHOOPING
Pour me one of them, yeah.
It's the last lemon.
Don't worry. I have a
lemon-flavoured dick right here.
Have you seen Zoe? No?
What are you doing here?
Everyone's talking about you.
What, me? Where's Zoe?
Where's Zoe? What?
Zoe. Where is she?
She's upstairs with
those skinheads.
She was talking about you.
Everybody's talking about you.
Oi, you, come back here! I
want a fucking word with you!
Hey, hey, what's going on?
Oh, man. Some hammered broad
just lost a game of pinfinger.
WRETCHING
Oh! Ah! AH!
Zoe! Oh, my God, your hand!
Someone call an ambulance!
Here, Con!
I knew you stole my
deb's money, you prick!
DOG BARKS AND VACUUM WHIRS
DOOR OPENS
VACUUM STOPS
You OK? Yeah.
Thanks
..for looking after me.
And I'm sorry that everyone found
out you took their debs money.
I only told Rachel, but
she was off her tits.
Everyone was. It's all right.
Just get some sleep.
I, erm, cleaned up the
blood in the bathroom.
Tidied up.
What did she say?
I didn't ask her.
I mean, I can't.
Look, we'll figure it out. We'll
find the tape somewhere else.
What about the money, Con?
Everyone is out for blood.
The police are going to be on
this. I don't want to get charged.
Look, I can't just
take off, all right?
There's a lot going
on. I need to be here.
Stop sucking up to
your parents, Con.
This is about us. You
know I want to go.
I just can't. I'm just
sick of this place, Con.
This isn't even about the money.
This is me and you.
I'm getting packed and I'm getting
the first bus to the ferry.
And if you're not at that
bus stop in the morning,
I'll know exactly
what you think.
I'll find a way to
finish this myself.
BIRDSONG
Roadkill, the trip
from hell! Oh!
You got the money? Yeah.
You see? I told you!
Born producer. Yes!
Just a couple of strings.
What?
No! No way!
Yeah, yeah, yes way!
I'm going to be
grounded for life now.
There is no way I'm
going home to them.
As soon as I get my
cut, I'm moving out.
Excuse me? Her cut?
Yeah! If I'm funding this,
we're going to split
the profits three ways.
I get the deposit for a
room. Everyone's happy.
No, this is our
trip, our collection.
I don't want some fucking
fire starter tagging along.
Yeah, you're the one who
started this fire, OK?
Getting Con in over
his head. Oh, yeah?
Well, you're the one who
blabbed about the money.
And now I'm making it right.
I'm not going home.
I'm getting on
that boat with Con.
You can come with us, or
you can go and cry about it.
We're doing this.
We're going to get that tape.
CREAKING
BOTTLES RATTLING
THUD
Hello?
CLICKING
CLUNK
SHE SCREAMS
I've got a knife!
SQUEAKING