Wabbit - A Looney Tunes Production (2016) s01e06 Episode Script
The Grim Rabbit/The Wringer
1 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) Going down the rabbit hole Where we're going no one knows Obstacles 'round every bend Let's see where the tunnel ends (BUGS WHISTLING) (BUGS PLAYING BANJO) Hey, what's up, Squeaks? - You wanna play? - Yeah.
Here, I got a great song for you.
(SQUEAKS) (PLAYING BANJO) Five, six, seven, eight.
My girl don't do much talking She sounds like Christopher Walken She loves to dance for hours She sweats a lot but never showers She is the one for me But she has real stinky feet One and two and three and four I wish she'd wash with soap BUGS: Ugh.
Thank you.
Ah, this is a mistake.
No worries.
Squeaks, this reminds me of that other song, um Don't Wear Your Robe to the Park.
Yeah, it's in the key of creepy.
Anyway Hey! (CLANGS) Oh, come on, Death.
Live a little.
(YELPS) Hey, you wanna watch it with the carrot peeler? Oh, you did it now.
You stepped on his nuts.
Who would do something like that? (NUTS CRUNCHING) (SOBBING) Okay, was that really necessary? Oh! (SQUEALING) (GRUNTS) Squeaks! (GROWLS) (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) (GRUNTS) (SIGHS) You realize, this means Whoa! (WHIMPERING) Keith Richards! (VEHICLE APPROACHING) (PANTING) (YELPS) Hold it.
All right.
Pull it forward.
Whoa, whoa.
That's good.
Okay.
Looks like you're a double wide.
Let me just check under the hood here.
(CHOKES) Well I think we're good.
Right this way.
And the air freshener.
(ENGINE WHIRRING) (SPLASHING) (MACHINE REVVING) (WHIRRING) (GROWLING) (SQUEAKING) (GROWLING) (SCREECHING) (GROANING) (PANTING) What? Hey there, handsome.
This is for Squeaks.
Anyone for tuna surprise? I'll let the two of you get to know each other.
(SNIFFING) (GROWLING) You think he knows to play dead? (GROWLING) (YELPS) (PANTING) (GROWLING) (FABRIC TEARING) (SIGHING) (SCREAMING) Ah, ah, ooh! Get it off, get - Squeaks? Hey, little guy.
- (SQUEAKING) I thought you were a goner.
Am I glad to see you! (LAUGHING) -Come here, you little stinker.
(BOTH GIGGLING) But I thought you wanted me to come with you.
You think I'm gonna let a piece of paper stop us from being together? Keith Richards? Where? - (SQUEAKING) - No, Squeaks.
That one's a woman.
(CLICKS) (GROWLING) Greetings! Morning, Bugs.
What's up, dog? Now, wait a minute.
- Excuse me, Bugs.
- Yeah, bro? Where are you headed? I can't tell you.
Not where I'm going.
Not who I'm seeing, nothing.
Uh, on an unrelated note, do you know where, Yosemite Sam lives? Sure.
Sam lives in the forest.
Thanks, bro.
If you hit the angry pit of wolverines, you've gone too far.
Looks like it's time for Bugs to make a house call.
(DOOR BELL RINGING) Oh, come on.
Get back, Gigi.
Go on, Vegas.
You too, Niblets.
Come on, Neither.
Get along there, Lucas.
Ah! You must be my Bugs Bunny impersonator.
Yep.
What's up, dog? Well, I seen better.
But for 23 bucks, I can't complain.
Thanks.
So exactly what am I doing here? Please tell me it's for a kid's party.
No, I want you to go around town and do things that people will hate.
Crash things, smash things.
Get people so mad, they wanna run the real Bugs out of town.
Smash things, huh? Okay.
I'll bash up a playground with this.
That won't bash a worm's toe.
- Here.
- Eh, looks complicated.
Maybe you could pretend you're the playground and hit yourself with it.
That way, I could learn how to do it just right.
You know, that's a great idea.
Okay, pay attention.
You got to swing it hard.
Oh! Like that.
Hard, you got it? Oh, and while I bash up their playground, I could give people compliments.
No, no, no.
You got to do stuff people will hate.
Be mean.
(GRUNTS) Pretend this here case of my precious cat figurines is the playground.
You are unreliable, glass case! (GRUNTS) (GROANING) I get it.
Try using your name.
Great idea! Sam, you're as ugly as a dog's behind, but you smell worse! (GRUNTS) Wait, I blinked.
All right, how about this? Sam, you're a garbage-eating troll.
- (GRUNTS) - (GLASS SHATTERING) Uh, I hated that.
Got it.
Next, I was thinking I might buy everyone ice cream.
No! I got something better.
This here is from my personal armory.
Go out and find some sap and then fire garbage at him out of my cannon.
Or I could fire the sap out of the cannon.
Ooh, they'd hate Bugs even more if he did that.
Tell you what, I'll hop in so you can practice.
(GRUNTING) Fire away! (BEEPS) Oh! (SCREAMING) - (WHIRRING) - Oh! That hurt like a biscuit.
People will hate Bugs when you do that to 'em.
Heh.
Yeah, but they'll hate this even more.
Climb back in and I'll show you.
Whatever you're doing, I sure better hate it.
Fire! (GRUNTS) (GRUNTING) This is incredibly painful! I hate it.
(GROANS) - (CATS MEOWING) - Hated that.
Great! What's next? (ENGINE REVVING) All right.
Now, I want you to drive through people's houses.
(LAUGHS) Oh, they'll hate Bugs for that.
You want I should take it for a test spin? You betcha.
You'll wanna tie yourself to the grill to experience firsthand how angry people will be.
That's a great idea.
This is too easy.
How about we start by driving through your house? So you could really feel how much they'll hate Bugs for doing that.
Okay, now, drive through my house.
(TIRES SCREECHING) (SCREAMING) Living room.
Bathroom.
Parlor.
Chimney.
(SIGHS) Boy, I sure did hate that.
And it'll make them furious at Bugs if I drive them through a cactus patch.
Wait, what? Ow! Yow! Ouch! (GRUNTS) Hated it.
Last stop, your armory.
(YELLING) (BUGS CACKLING) Oh, that didn't hurt nearly as much as I thought it was (WHISTLING) (THUDS) Ugh.
Hated that.
So, does that about cover it? Perfect.
Okay, kid, now you know what to do.
Here's your money.
Go get him.
Ha! You got it, boss (WHISTLING) Gee, buddy.
You look terrible.
I went too far, bro.
Wolverine pit.
Hey, do you know if this is Yosemite Sam's house? Why, yes it is.
Your job is to go around town, doing things people hate, until they get so mad they run the real Sam out of town.
Okay, bro, I'm on it.
I wish I got paid for being a stinker.
Wait a minute, I guess I just did.
(GIGGLING)
Here, I got a great song for you.
(SQUEAKS) (PLAYING BANJO) Five, six, seven, eight.
My girl don't do much talking She sounds like Christopher Walken She loves to dance for hours She sweats a lot but never showers She is the one for me But she has real stinky feet One and two and three and four I wish she'd wash with soap BUGS: Ugh.
Thank you.
Ah, this is a mistake.
No worries.
Squeaks, this reminds me of that other song, um Don't Wear Your Robe to the Park.
Yeah, it's in the key of creepy.
Anyway Hey! (CLANGS) Oh, come on, Death.
Live a little.
(YELPS) Hey, you wanna watch it with the carrot peeler? Oh, you did it now.
You stepped on his nuts.
Who would do something like that? (NUTS CRUNCHING) (SOBBING) Okay, was that really necessary? Oh! (SQUEALING) (GRUNTS) Squeaks! (GROWLS) (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) (GRUNTS) (SIGHS) You realize, this means Whoa! (WHIMPERING) Keith Richards! (VEHICLE APPROACHING) (PANTING) (YELPS) Hold it.
All right.
Pull it forward.
Whoa, whoa.
That's good.
Okay.
Looks like you're a double wide.
Let me just check under the hood here.
(CHOKES) Well I think we're good.
Right this way.
And the air freshener.
(ENGINE WHIRRING) (SPLASHING) (MACHINE REVVING) (WHIRRING) (GROWLING) (SQUEAKING) (GROWLING) (SCREECHING) (GROANING) (PANTING) What? Hey there, handsome.
This is for Squeaks.
Anyone for tuna surprise? I'll let the two of you get to know each other.
(SNIFFING) (GROWLING) You think he knows to play dead? (GROWLING) (YELPS) (PANTING) (GROWLING) (FABRIC TEARING) (SIGHING) (SCREAMING) Ah, ah, ooh! Get it off, get - Squeaks? Hey, little guy.
- (SQUEAKING) I thought you were a goner.
Am I glad to see you! (LAUGHING) -Come here, you little stinker.
(BOTH GIGGLING) But I thought you wanted me to come with you.
You think I'm gonna let a piece of paper stop us from being together? Keith Richards? Where? - (SQUEAKING) - No, Squeaks.
That one's a woman.
(CLICKS) (GROWLING) Greetings! Morning, Bugs.
What's up, dog? Now, wait a minute.
- Excuse me, Bugs.
- Yeah, bro? Where are you headed? I can't tell you.
Not where I'm going.
Not who I'm seeing, nothing.
Uh, on an unrelated note, do you know where, Yosemite Sam lives? Sure.
Sam lives in the forest.
Thanks, bro.
If you hit the angry pit of wolverines, you've gone too far.
Looks like it's time for Bugs to make a house call.
(DOOR BELL RINGING) Oh, come on.
Get back, Gigi.
Go on, Vegas.
You too, Niblets.
Come on, Neither.
Get along there, Lucas.
Ah! You must be my Bugs Bunny impersonator.
Yep.
What's up, dog? Well, I seen better.
But for 23 bucks, I can't complain.
Thanks.
So exactly what am I doing here? Please tell me it's for a kid's party.
No, I want you to go around town and do things that people will hate.
Crash things, smash things.
Get people so mad, they wanna run the real Bugs out of town.
Smash things, huh? Okay.
I'll bash up a playground with this.
That won't bash a worm's toe.
- Here.
- Eh, looks complicated.
Maybe you could pretend you're the playground and hit yourself with it.
That way, I could learn how to do it just right.
You know, that's a great idea.
Okay, pay attention.
You got to swing it hard.
Oh! Like that.
Hard, you got it? Oh, and while I bash up their playground, I could give people compliments.
No, no, no.
You got to do stuff people will hate.
Be mean.
(GRUNTS) Pretend this here case of my precious cat figurines is the playground.
You are unreliable, glass case! (GRUNTS) (GROANING) I get it.
Try using your name.
Great idea! Sam, you're as ugly as a dog's behind, but you smell worse! (GRUNTS) Wait, I blinked.
All right, how about this? Sam, you're a garbage-eating troll.
- (GRUNTS) - (GLASS SHATTERING) Uh, I hated that.
Got it.
Next, I was thinking I might buy everyone ice cream.
No! I got something better.
This here is from my personal armory.
Go out and find some sap and then fire garbage at him out of my cannon.
Or I could fire the sap out of the cannon.
Ooh, they'd hate Bugs even more if he did that.
Tell you what, I'll hop in so you can practice.
(GRUNTING) Fire away! (BEEPS) Oh! (SCREAMING) - (WHIRRING) - Oh! That hurt like a biscuit.
People will hate Bugs when you do that to 'em.
Heh.
Yeah, but they'll hate this even more.
Climb back in and I'll show you.
Whatever you're doing, I sure better hate it.
Fire! (GRUNTS) (GRUNTING) This is incredibly painful! I hate it.
(GROANS) - (CATS MEOWING) - Hated that.
Great! What's next? (ENGINE REVVING) All right.
Now, I want you to drive through people's houses.
(LAUGHS) Oh, they'll hate Bugs for that.
You want I should take it for a test spin? You betcha.
You'll wanna tie yourself to the grill to experience firsthand how angry people will be.
That's a great idea.
This is too easy.
How about we start by driving through your house? So you could really feel how much they'll hate Bugs for doing that.
Okay, now, drive through my house.
(TIRES SCREECHING) (SCREAMING) Living room.
Bathroom.
Parlor.
Chimney.
(SIGHS) Boy, I sure did hate that.
And it'll make them furious at Bugs if I drive them through a cactus patch.
Wait, what? Ow! Yow! Ouch! (GRUNTS) Hated it.
Last stop, your armory.
(YELLING) (BUGS CACKLING) Oh, that didn't hurt nearly as much as I thought it was (WHISTLING) (THUDS) Ugh.
Hated that.
So, does that about cover it? Perfect.
Okay, kid, now you know what to do.
Here's your money.
Go get him.
Ha! You got it, boss (WHISTLING) Gee, buddy.
You look terrible.
I went too far, bro.
Wolverine pit.
Hey, do you know if this is Yosemite Sam's house? Why, yes it is.
Your job is to go around town, doing things people hate, until they get so mad they run the real Sam out of town.
Okay, bro, I'm on it.
I wish I got paid for being a stinker.
Wait a minute, I guess I just did.
(GIGGLING)