Wabbit - A Looney Tunes Production (2016) s01e13 Episode Script

Painter Paint Hare/The Spy Who Bugged Me

1 Going down the rabbit hole Where we're going no one knows Obstacles 'round every bend Let's see where the tunnel ends Ugly mountains, ugly trees, ugly bear.
Get out of the way! Argh! Stay there, bear.
Huh? Now the clouds are moving.
Nature is all wrong! Argh! What the Dumb trees and their dumb colors.
And the gloves come off.
- Hey, Jack.
- Hey! Can't you see? I'm attempting the most important part of fine art, the signature.
Ha-ha! I don't know, Jack.
Seems like there's more to it than that.
No.
Without a signature the art is only half art.
- A what? - Half art.
Half art! Sounds like a lot of hot air to me.
Okay, Grandma Moses.
Whatever you say.
No.
I'm Jack the painter.
Now go! I would, but I believe I have some of your handiwork here.
Hmm? Well, let me sign it for you.
Ooh, I forgot to dot the eyes.
You can have that one for free.
Well, fight war paint with war paint, I always say.
Say, Jack.
You're pretty good.
Ah, but you got it all wrong.
I took some art classes at the Y.
So, you gotta put some core shadows over here, some highlights over there, and Voila! And you can have that one for free.
- Paint's a little thin with that one.
- Argh! - Yipes! You gotta do better than that.
Ha! We could do this all day.
Hmm? Uh Aren't you that bear I hit with a rock? Good evening, sir.
Do you have a reservation? Don't you know who I am? I'm Jack the painter! Oh, let's see, then.
Jack - Jack in the box? - No.
- Jack and the bean stalk? - No! I see Jack here Jack Strap? No.
It's Jack the painter.
Why don't you look harder? Oh, ah, here it is.
We have a wonderful table for you, sir.
Right this way.
Give me that! Woo-hoo-hoo! Argh! Whoa! Mommy! Hey, Mac.
Care for a balloon? A red balloon! Just like the one Papa used to give me on the boardwalk.
Wow! Nice bear.
No Finally.
Rabbit! Uh-oh.
Why, you little Want some art? I'm gonna give you some art.
I'm gonna stick some art right in your Hey, you come back! Hey! Ow! Owee Hmm? Yoo-hoo! Well, here we go.
Yoo-hoo! Why, you little Oh, no! Hey! Nice bear! Hmm? Whatever happened to that painter guy? Help me.
You know what, Squeaks? I think that's Jack's good side.
A day of sightseeing in our nation's capital.
The Lincoln Memorial.
Good old Honest Abe.
The Illinois rail splitter.
Well, this is definitely worth a photo.
Oui, oui, Pierre.
Is it ready for pickup? Excellent.
Green messenger bag? Oui, I see her.
Excuse me, ma'am.
Did you know that the reflecting pool holds over 6.
75 million snapping turtles? Lincoln, Lincoln, what ya thinkin'? Attracting over 24 million visitors a year.
Fascinating.
Enjoy your precious freedom while you still have it, boy.
Lots to see.
Better keep moving.
Finally.
These documents will make us the most powerful nation on Earth! Huh? What is this? A collectible Thomas Jefferson memorial spoon? A Jimmy Carter snow globe? White House garden carrots? You! Claudette here.
No, Pierre, there's been a mix up.
An ignorant American bunny has taken the bag.
No.
No excuses.
I shall get it back.
Handsome bunny rabbit, I see you have found my satchel.
My silly little American brain caused me to forget it.
So, I will just take it back.
Hands off the man purse, if you please.
I believe you're looking for the lost and foundry.
It's that-a-way.
Best of luck.
Please, monsieur Bunny.
I will be willing to give you all this money.
Uh, clearly you made this money yourself.
Are you from around here? Moi? I am from Me Um, Minnesota, don't you know.
Now be a darling and give me my bag.
Not so fast, lady.
If you like my bag so much, go buy a knock-off.
If there's one thing D.
C.
's full off, it's fakes.
You are not getting rid of me so easily, Mr.
Bunny rabbit.
My eau de pur nombre cinq will make quick work of him.
Try a free sample of D.
C.
's hottest new cologne, Washington Whiff.
I'm more of a au naturel kind of guy.
But I guess it couldn't hurt.
It's mine, all mine! Oh, there's my bag.
I wondered where I dropped it.
Claudette here.
Oui, Pierre.
I have him in my sights now.
Do not worry.
This American imbecile is no match for my superior tactics.
Photo op.
Oh, ho-ho-ho! Congratulations! What? You are the billionth tourist to visit the Washington monument this year.
That makes you the lucky winner of this check for a billion dollars.
Just sign here, for a lifetime of hamburgers, fries and les skinny jeans.
Um, okay.
But what should I do with all my stuff? Just set it down.
Now sign here with my exploda-pen! Gee, thanks.
Exploda-pen? I've never heard of that brand before.
You would almost think it the means the pen Just sign it! My exploda-pen will make short work of that furry nuisance.
Excuse me, ma'am.
Did you know that the Washington monument is 555 feet tall? That's the equivalent of 687 number two pencils Fascinating.
Here's your pen back.
Hmm This must have been malfunct There's my camera.
Hey, where'd my bag go? Mon bag! Rescue the plans He's coming back.
Must escape.
I did not think this through.
Hey! Whoa Camembert! You found my bag.
Oh, no, you don't.
Yikes! Excuse me, sir, did you know that the Lincoln Memorial was so massive that it could absorb a laser blast? Fascinating.
What are the odds? My bag! I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than justice.
- Not really.
- Oh, fromage Oh, and Bugs, I found your messenger bag.
Ooh, thanks, Abe.
Yes, Mr.
President.
The Lincoln statue has been deactivated.
Over and out.
Ooh, hi, there.
Welcome to the Lincoln Memorial.
Did you know that