Wander Over Yonder (2013) s01e21 Episode Script
The Gift 2: The Giftening; The Gift
Ooh, that's not good.
Oh, man, Lord Hater just had this thing waxed.
Okay, no need to panic.
Maybe if we just You watchdogs are all useless! I've never encountered a more pathetic excuse for an evil army in all my life! Yee-hoo! Stupid! Idiots! Imbeciles! No! All I want is for you guys to finally do something, anything right for once! Is that so hard? They went to the wrong conference room.
You! Why aren't you running in terror? Hello? Pure concentrated bolts of evil.
I think this one's broken.
Peepers! What what is that thing? It appears to be some kind of present.
But how who would what is wrong with him? I don't know, sir.
I just don't know.
Careful.
We don't know if that thing's contagious.
Interesting.
Hmm.
I wonder Huh? Peepers, get out of there! Yeah! Woo-hoo-hoo! - What was that all about? - It's worse than we thought.
His cortisol levels are low, while his proximity to the object the molecular structure of his prefrontal cortex! Flab drassit, man! Enough science mumbo-jumbo! Give it to me straight.
The gift has made him happy.
- Happy? - Happy.
But the watchdogs have never been happy before.
Well, they've never received a gift before.
Peepers, what are we going to do? If this spreads, the entire army will be ruined! It's okay, sir.
He's sealed in sick bay, completely quarantined.
There is no way this happiness is spreading.
- Watchdogs: Happy.
- Oh! Shh! Don't attract their attention.
Watchdogs: Happy.
Happy.
Happy.
That's it.
Easy.
Don't make any sudden movements or Watchdogs: Happy! - Oh! - It's worse than we thought.
Happy.
Happy.
Happy.
There's a serial gifter loose on the ship.
No, no, no, it can't be.
Not He's infecting the entire army with joy, killing any hate they may have.
We have to destroy him before he destroys us.
Peepers, assemble a team.
M-M-Me? B-B-But, sir All right, men, split up! Man, Pete, if we make it out of here alive, first thing I'm gonna do is find that gal I met on shore leave, buy her a ring and ask her to be mine.
Ah, you're crazy, Teddy.
Hater never lets anyone have nice things like dreams.
Teddy? Teddy? Hang in there, buddy, I'm coming! Oh, no.
Teddy! - Happy.
- Teddy.
She's gonna love it, kid, she's gonna love it.
Whoa, whoa.
My dream.
Teddy, Pete, come in, darn you! We are on high Woo-hoo-ho! Whoo! Curses! Pete has succumbed to the dance! Who is it? It's Peepers! He's coming.
Hurry! What's the password? We never came up with a password! Please! It's worse than we thought! Stop saying that! It's not worse than we thought! This is the most worst it can be! Commander Peepers? C-Peeps? Happy! Oh, no.
All this happy isn't happening.
It's just a bad dream.
Huh! Oh.
Oh.
Dumb snowflake.
Being flakey.
Stay back! No.
No.
Noooo! Perimeter is on lockdown.
Clear! Clear! Bravo team! Secure Lord Hater! We've got him.
Bone Daddy is in the nest.
I repeat, Bone Daddy is in the nest! That was the coolest! You stopped Wander from infecting me with the happies and this cocoa is really tasty.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but you did something right for once! Good work, watchdogs.
Sir, it was the least we could do after you gave us all those thoughtful gifts, sir.
After I gave you? But I didn't Your gifts really encouraged us to do our very best.
A little positive reinforcement goes a long way, sir! We love you, sir! "You're welcome.
Heart.
Wander.
" Noooo! - Oh, my grop.
It's today? - It's today! - There's just one thing I don't get.
- What's not to get? Wander: Once every 365 Yuletidian cycles, a cluster of interstellar temporal neutrinos collides with a passing dimensional space vortex, resulting in a massive chronal jet stream.
Ooh.
What's in the box? Wander: And we use it to travel across the universe in a single day, giving gifts to everyone we've met over the past season of our lives! Sylvia: I get that.
Wander: Then do you not get that us being nice to folks makes them want to pay it forward? Lolly! Sylvia: No, I get that.
I just don't get why I have to wear these.
'Cause they go so well with these! All: Yay! For all your help.
Sorry, who are you again? Okay.
That was a blast.
And we delivered gifts to everyone we encountered this past season of our lives.
Almost! Boing, boing.
We have to give gifts to Lord Hater and the watchdogs! We've shared more adventures with them than anybody.
Even though most of those adventures involved them trying to destroy us? The guy is a jerk! I'm just saying, maybe we should institute some kind of naughty or nice policy.
There's an old Slarnian saying Which roughly translates to, "a little nice makes naughty think twice.
" "Sylvia, this panel is loose.
Hugs and kisses.
Sylvia.
" If we give Hater the perfect gift, maybe his heart will grow three sizes and he'll spread cheer throughout the galaxy.
Sylvia: Or maybe he'll try to destroy us.
Again.
- I like our odds.
- Hater: Watchdogs! All I want is for you guys to finally do something, anything, right for once! Is that so hard? He's gonna be so excited! Yeah, that guy's just a barrel of sunshine waiting to happen.
Exactly! Hmm.
Was it conference room 1 or conference room 1-A? - 1-A! - Huh.
Thanks.
Hey, wait a minute! Who said that? Show yourselves or I'll blast you to bits and even smaller bits! It's not just about giving someone a present.
It's about giving someone the perfect present.
Observe.
Huh? What's this? Read the tag.
Okay, mysterious voice, but I doubt there's any new information on this tag that would cause me to Oh, my grop, it's for me! Tim! The meeting's in here! Perfect.
He's overwhelmed with joy! - A little nice makes naughty think - Twice.
Slarnian Yeah, I know.
But if we're caught, we don't get to deliver gifts.
We get to die.
So just promise me we'll be careful.
- Deal? - Deal.
Let's do this.
Happy.
Happy.
Both: Happy.
Perfect.
- Eee-yaa.
- Perfect.
Happy.
Peepers! What what is that thing? It appears to be some kind of present.
But how who would what is wrong with him? The gift has made him happy.
Hater: But the watchdogs have never been happy before! Peepers: Well, they've never received a gift before.
Hater: Peepers, what are we going to do? If this spreads, the entire army will be ruined! Peepers: It's okay, sir.
There is no way this happiness is spreading.
Watchdogs: Happy.
Watchdogs: Happy.
Peepers: There's a serial gifter loose on the ship.
Hater: We have to destroy him before he destroys us.
Peepers, assemble a team.
They're on to us.
We don't have much time.
Find and secure Hater.
Leave the dogs to me.
- How? - I'll do what I do best.
Be merry.
All right, men, split up! Man, Pete, if we make it out of here alive, first thing I'm gonna do is find that gal I met on shore leave, buy her a ring and ask her to be mine.
Ah, you're crazy, Teddy, Hater never lets anyone have nice things like dreams.
Teddy? Teddy? Hang in there, buddy, I'm coming! Oh, no.
Teddy! - Happy.
- Teddy.
She's gonna love it, kid, she's gonna love it.
My dream.
Perfect.
Peepers: Curses! Pete has succumbed to the dance! Lord Hater, let me in! Please! He's gonna ruin the surprise! Perfect.
Commander Peepers? C-Peeps? Boo.
Sylvia, Hater's running away, and we've got to give him his gift, because if he doesn't get his gift, he won't be filled with the giving spirit! So come on and hurry up if you will, please.
- Thank you! - I hate today.
Ting! Stay back! - No.
- I don't think he wants a gift.
- No! - He's just trying to be polite.
Noooo! Perimeter is on lockdown.
Clear! Clear! Bravo team! Secure Lord Hater! Whoa! That was the coolest! You stopped Wander from infecting me with the happies and this cocoa is really tasty.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but you did something right for once! Good work, watchdogs.
Man, who knew those pathetic watchdogs could be so awesome? Maybe all they needed was a little niceness.
Maybe if someone wrote "from Lord Hater" - on all those gift tags - You mean? Wander: "a little nice makes naughty think twice.
" So they paid it forward and did something right for once, just like Hater wanted! Which he should be realizing right about Hater: Noooo! Sylvia: Hold on.
Wander, do you know what this means? Hater: Wait.
Yeeees! All right, my now awesome watchdogs, you know what to do.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful gift, which I am totally going to use to conquer the universe! Starting with this pathetic place.
Go, my watchdogs.
Go be awesome! Hey, Wander.
I've got the perfect gift for you.
What? What's happening? Children: Yay! Here you go.
Friendly gifts, courtesy of Lord Hater.
No, no, no, no, no! Noooo! I knew it! Being kind to others makes them kind back! buddy.
Sylvia.
Hater: Okay, guys, that's enough hugging.
Starting to get a little claustrophobic.
Peepers! A little help.
Watchdogs? Wander? Okay, whose hand keeps touching my butt?
Oh, man, Lord Hater just had this thing waxed.
Okay, no need to panic.
Maybe if we just You watchdogs are all useless! I've never encountered a more pathetic excuse for an evil army in all my life! Yee-hoo! Stupid! Idiots! Imbeciles! No! All I want is for you guys to finally do something, anything right for once! Is that so hard? They went to the wrong conference room.
You! Why aren't you running in terror? Hello? Pure concentrated bolts of evil.
I think this one's broken.
Peepers! What what is that thing? It appears to be some kind of present.
But how who would what is wrong with him? I don't know, sir.
I just don't know.
Careful.
We don't know if that thing's contagious.
Interesting.
Hmm.
I wonder Huh? Peepers, get out of there! Yeah! Woo-hoo-hoo! - What was that all about? - It's worse than we thought.
His cortisol levels are low, while his proximity to the object the molecular structure of his prefrontal cortex! Flab drassit, man! Enough science mumbo-jumbo! Give it to me straight.
The gift has made him happy.
- Happy? - Happy.
But the watchdogs have never been happy before.
Well, they've never received a gift before.
Peepers, what are we going to do? If this spreads, the entire army will be ruined! It's okay, sir.
He's sealed in sick bay, completely quarantined.
There is no way this happiness is spreading.
- Watchdogs: Happy.
- Oh! Shh! Don't attract their attention.
Watchdogs: Happy.
Happy.
Happy.
That's it.
Easy.
Don't make any sudden movements or Watchdogs: Happy! - Oh! - It's worse than we thought.
Happy.
Happy.
Happy.
There's a serial gifter loose on the ship.
No, no, no, it can't be.
Not He's infecting the entire army with joy, killing any hate they may have.
We have to destroy him before he destroys us.
Peepers, assemble a team.
M-M-Me? B-B-But, sir All right, men, split up! Man, Pete, if we make it out of here alive, first thing I'm gonna do is find that gal I met on shore leave, buy her a ring and ask her to be mine.
Ah, you're crazy, Teddy.
Hater never lets anyone have nice things like dreams.
Teddy? Teddy? Hang in there, buddy, I'm coming! Oh, no.
Teddy! - Happy.
- Teddy.
She's gonna love it, kid, she's gonna love it.
Whoa, whoa.
My dream.
Teddy, Pete, come in, darn you! We are on high Woo-hoo-ho! Whoo! Curses! Pete has succumbed to the dance! Who is it? It's Peepers! He's coming.
Hurry! What's the password? We never came up with a password! Please! It's worse than we thought! Stop saying that! It's not worse than we thought! This is the most worst it can be! Commander Peepers? C-Peeps? Happy! Oh, no.
All this happy isn't happening.
It's just a bad dream.
Huh! Oh.
Oh.
Dumb snowflake.
Being flakey.
Stay back! No.
No.
Noooo! Perimeter is on lockdown.
Clear! Clear! Bravo team! Secure Lord Hater! We've got him.
Bone Daddy is in the nest.
I repeat, Bone Daddy is in the nest! That was the coolest! You stopped Wander from infecting me with the happies and this cocoa is really tasty.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but you did something right for once! Good work, watchdogs.
Sir, it was the least we could do after you gave us all those thoughtful gifts, sir.
After I gave you? But I didn't Your gifts really encouraged us to do our very best.
A little positive reinforcement goes a long way, sir! We love you, sir! "You're welcome.
Heart.
Wander.
" Noooo! - Oh, my grop.
It's today? - It's today! - There's just one thing I don't get.
- What's not to get? Wander: Once every 365 Yuletidian cycles, a cluster of interstellar temporal neutrinos collides with a passing dimensional space vortex, resulting in a massive chronal jet stream.
Ooh.
What's in the box? Wander: And we use it to travel across the universe in a single day, giving gifts to everyone we've met over the past season of our lives! Sylvia: I get that.
Wander: Then do you not get that us being nice to folks makes them want to pay it forward? Lolly! Sylvia: No, I get that.
I just don't get why I have to wear these.
'Cause they go so well with these! All: Yay! For all your help.
Sorry, who are you again? Okay.
That was a blast.
And we delivered gifts to everyone we encountered this past season of our lives.
Almost! Boing, boing.
We have to give gifts to Lord Hater and the watchdogs! We've shared more adventures with them than anybody.
Even though most of those adventures involved them trying to destroy us? The guy is a jerk! I'm just saying, maybe we should institute some kind of naughty or nice policy.
There's an old Slarnian saying Which roughly translates to, "a little nice makes naughty think twice.
" "Sylvia, this panel is loose.
Hugs and kisses.
Sylvia.
" If we give Hater the perfect gift, maybe his heart will grow three sizes and he'll spread cheer throughout the galaxy.
Sylvia: Or maybe he'll try to destroy us.
Again.
- I like our odds.
- Hater: Watchdogs! All I want is for you guys to finally do something, anything, right for once! Is that so hard? He's gonna be so excited! Yeah, that guy's just a barrel of sunshine waiting to happen.
Exactly! Hmm.
Was it conference room 1 or conference room 1-A? - 1-A! - Huh.
Thanks.
Hey, wait a minute! Who said that? Show yourselves or I'll blast you to bits and even smaller bits! It's not just about giving someone a present.
It's about giving someone the perfect present.
Observe.
Huh? What's this? Read the tag.
Okay, mysterious voice, but I doubt there's any new information on this tag that would cause me to Oh, my grop, it's for me! Tim! The meeting's in here! Perfect.
He's overwhelmed with joy! - A little nice makes naughty think - Twice.
Slarnian Yeah, I know.
But if we're caught, we don't get to deliver gifts.
We get to die.
So just promise me we'll be careful.
- Deal? - Deal.
Let's do this.
Happy.
Happy.
Both: Happy.
Perfect.
- Eee-yaa.
- Perfect.
Happy.
Peepers! What what is that thing? It appears to be some kind of present.
But how who would what is wrong with him? The gift has made him happy.
Hater: But the watchdogs have never been happy before! Peepers: Well, they've never received a gift before.
Hater: Peepers, what are we going to do? If this spreads, the entire army will be ruined! Peepers: It's okay, sir.
There is no way this happiness is spreading.
Watchdogs: Happy.
Watchdogs: Happy.
Peepers: There's a serial gifter loose on the ship.
Hater: We have to destroy him before he destroys us.
Peepers, assemble a team.
They're on to us.
We don't have much time.
Find and secure Hater.
Leave the dogs to me.
- How? - I'll do what I do best.
Be merry.
All right, men, split up! Man, Pete, if we make it out of here alive, first thing I'm gonna do is find that gal I met on shore leave, buy her a ring and ask her to be mine.
Ah, you're crazy, Teddy, Hater never lets anyone have nice things like dreams.
Teddy? Teddy? Hang in there, buddy, I'm coming! Oh, no.
Teddy! - Happy.
- Teddy.
She's gonna love it, kid, she's gonna love it.
My dream.
Perfect.
Peepers: Curses! Pete has succumbed to the dance! Lord Hater, let me in! Please! He's gonna ruin the surprise! Perfect.
Commander Peepers? C-Peeps? Boo.
Sylvia, Hater's running away, and we've got to give him his gift, because if he doesn't get his gift, he won't be filled with the giving spirit! So come on and hurry up if you will, please.
- Thank you! - I hate today.
Ting! Stay back! - No.
- I don't think he wants a gift.
- No! - He's just trying to be polite.
Noooo! Perimeter is on lockdown.
Clear! Clear! Bravo team! Secure Lord Hater! Whoa! That was the coolest! You stopped Wander from infecting me with the happies and this cocoa is really tasty.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but you did something right for once! Good work, watchdogs.
Man, who knew those pathetic watchdogs could be so awesome? Maybe all they needed was a little niceness.
Maybe if someone wrote "from Lord Hater" - on all those gift tags - You mean? Wander: "a little nice makes naughty think twice.
" So they paid it forward and did something right for once, just like Hater wanted! Which he should be realizing right about Hater: Noooo! Sylvia: Hold on.
Wander, do you know what this means? Hater: Wait.
Yeeees! All right, my now awesome watchdogs, you know what to do.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful gift, which I am totally going to use to conquer the universe! Starting with this pathetic place.
Go, my watchdogs.
Go be awesome! Hey, Wander.
I've got the perfect gift for you.
What? What's happening? Children: Yay! Here you go.
Friendly gifts, courtesy of Lord Hater.
No, no, no, no, no! Noooo! I knew it! Being kind to others makes them kind back! buddy.
Sylvia.
Hater: Okay, guys, that's enough hugging.
Starting to get a little claustrophobic.
Peepers! A little help.
Watchdogs? Wander? Okay, whose hand keeps touching my butt?