Wander Over Yonder (2013) s02e10 Episode Script

1 Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Wander Wander over over yonder yonder Wander yonder Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Alright! Hater! Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Wander Wander over over yonder yonder Wander yonder Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Oh, no.
If the Black Cube gets the Ring of Invincibility, he'll be unstoppable! Cube! Hey, Cube! I know you're in there.
Where's my rent, blockhead? Oh, no, you ain't pullin' that soul-sucking Latin mumbo-jumbo again.
E pluribus you owe me money, Cube.
You got 24 hours, or you're out on your hexahedronic heinie.
Got it? Ah, that's what I get for renting to a has-been villain.
I'm just a little black cube Of darkness, a little black cube Of darkness Black cube of darkness A little black cube My edges are sharp My corners are pointy My complexion's opaque Just looking, yeah, looking for a place to fit in But I'm never the right shape Hi, Cube.
It's Stacy.
Listen.
We have to break up.
I mean, I'm a nice girl, you're a concentrated block of pure evil.
It's just not a good fit.
Bye.
I'm just a little black cube Of darkness A little black cube of darkness A little black cube of darkness A little black cube Good morning.
Need a hand? Wander, that is the Black Cube of Darkness! We gotta get outta here before he sucks out our souls! Aw, Syl, it never hurts to help.
Do you know how often you say that immediately before we actually get hurt?! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey there, friend.
Yeah, you.
Having a rough day? Been there.
But take it from me, a bad attitude only makes it rougher.
Learn to let go of anger, and you won't have to suffer.
It's a beautiful day.
Listen to the birds sing, look at the sunshine Let them be your guide, and you'll be feelin' fine That's the spirit.
Takin' a positive attitude now Won't let things drag me down Folks start to panic, I won't get all manic 'Cause I'm floating off the ground My contours are sleek, my surface is shiny Nothing gets in my way My upbeat composure's gonna help me find closure What a wonderful day - # I'm a little black cube of sunshine # - # Black cube # - # A black cube of sunshine # - # Black cube # - # Black cube of sunshine # - # Black cube # - # A little black cube # - # He's a little black cube # Look at this joker.
He's all, like, "Good day to you, sir.
I am a shape.
" What a square.
It's funny 'cause he's different from us.
Oh, my stars and garters.
Oh, why, thank you so much.
What a polite young It's the villainous Black Cube of Darkness.
He's come to steal my soul.
Help, police! Help! Well, well, well.
Look who finally decided to show up for his shift.
You're lucky I need you on the register, or I'd kick you out on your parallelepiped posterior.
Now get out there! What a coinky-dink.
Hello again.
Uh, yeah, hi.
I trust you enjoyed your brisk morning walk.
I can't believe you work here.
You are so lucky.
What a noble profession feeding the hungry, brightening up people's day.
I would like a triple pickle pie and the honor of providing you with a gratuity for all of your fine work.
Ahem.
What a coinky-dink.
If it isn't our old friend.
Let's see.
I'll take a quadruple splatty melt, no cheese, no pickles, extra cheese, seven pickles ketchup, catsup, no sesame seeds of the top bun, glue 'em onto the bottom bun, throw out the bun and put the whole thing in a wrap, a jumbo extra-small half-curly half-straight fries, and a diet Thunderblazz.
Now my associate will have You know you're fired, right? Actin' all chummy, try to help out somebody But they freak out, then I freak out Try to make conversation, but before I am able Well, I freak out Then they freak out Black cube of darkness Little black cube of darkness Black cube of darkness Little black cube Oh, look at me.
I'm having a sad moment of soul searching.
- Must've lost his edge.
- Oh! Cubes have edges! Ooh, I'm so scared.
Look, I'm chicken, too.
Ooh, what a loser.
Help me.
Help me! He spent so much time working on sick burns that he never learned to swim.
What are we gonna do?! Ew! Get your cube off of me, you cube.
I don't want your - What What happened? - Oh, my grop.
He totally sucked out your soul! That was your plan the whole time, wasn't it? In fact, I think maybe you pushed me off that bridge.
Take a deep breath, don't do anything crazy Just don't freak out, no, don't freak out It's a misunderstanding Sure that they'll understand it Unless they don't understand it They never do understand it But don't freak out Never freak out - We gotta help him, Syl.
- Wander, no.
Wait.
Black cube, please, don't freak out.
Wander! This is all your fault! He was only trying to help you.
How could you do this to him? You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
This guy saved that kid's life.
All he wanted was to be a good guy for once, but you're all so focused on the bad stuff that you never looked for the good stuff inside him.
I mean, heck, after what you all put him through, I don't blame him for freaking out.
Haven't any of you ever had a lousy day? My twin brother forgot to call me on my birthday.
My twin brother forgot to call me on my birthday.
I didn't make the soccer team.
I did make the soccer team, but I hate soccer.
I'm suffering from a distinct case of ennui.
Also, I use words I don't understand to sound important.
And my best friend and I are on the run from a series of evil villains, but that doesn't mean we go out and ruin someone else's day.
Sometimes, the only solution is to tell someone, I'm sorry you had a bad day.
We're all just little black cubes Of darkness Little black cubes of darkness Little black cubes of darkness Little black cubes Sector G, hall one, all clear.
Sector G, hall two, all clear.
Sector G, hall three Oh! Hi.
Oh, I didn't see you there.
Hey, you know, you're not really allowed in here.
Top secret security stuff.
But if you've ever wondered about what keeps Lord Hater's galactic domination machine running, well, then, you're in for a real treat, because it's time for This is Eye On the Skull Ship.
I'm Andy, your humble host, and I'd like to welcome you to a very special episode.
We all know that life on the skull ship can be tedious at times.
One routine work day seamlessly blending into the next.
But today is going to be different.
Today, I'm proud to bring you A one-on-one with Lord Hater! That's right.
I put in a formal request to interview our esteemed leader and Oh, my gracious! Maybe that's Hater now.
Okay.
Hello.
You're live on Eye On the Skull Ship with Andy, chief security monitor I know who you are, Andy.
This is Commander Peepers.
Once again, your request to interview Lord Hater has been rejected on grounds that it's not your job to make this stupid show! Well, it's not my job, per se, but you know, I think it's my duty to help enlighten Just keep an eye on your sector.
Yes, sir.
Always do.
No, you don't!! Well, slight change of plans.
Looks like we won't be talking to Lord Hater.
But fret not, dear viewers.
I know you're dying to see him, and I won't give up until I give you what you want.
In the meantime, I bet you're wonderin' What's for lunch? That's right.
It's the 453rd time we find out exactly what the Watchdogs are eating for lunch.
Excuse me, fellow Watchdog.
What refreshing and replenishing meal has been graciously given to you by our generous leader Lord Hater? Oh, wow.
Uh, hi.
Um, apparently, I have never been on live television before, and apparently, I'm having enchiladas.
- Apparently.
- Fascinating.
- And what delicious - Enchiladas! Enchiladas! Enchiladas! Chef, tell us, enchiladas.
Was this meal specifically chosen by Lord Hater's decree? Uh no.
Taco Tuesday was yesterday, so there was leftovers, and I decided to make, uh, enchiladas.
Hmm, interesting.
So does Lord Hater like enchiladas? I don't know.
All I know is, I didn't want the stuff to go to waste, - so I reused it today.
- Hm, yes.
But Lord Hater See, the thing with The thing with ground beef is, you gotta Self-defense, where the Watchdogs closest to Hater, his elite ground troops, learn the fine art of conquering.
And if we're lucky, Lord Hater might make a surprise pop-in to inspect the troops.
To be the best takes months of intense training in areas like Advanced Sylvia Defense And, of course, Wander Avoidance Tactics.
I know he wants to be your friend.
I know he wants to play carnival games.
I know he knows all your names, and birthdays, and how you like to spend a rainy Sunday with a crossword and a cup of chamomile.
I mean, he is really not such a bad guy.
No! Wander is pure, unadulterated love! I'm sure our resident drill instructor has a host of exciting Hater stories to share with us.
- You're darn right I do.
One time - Andy! - Why aren't you at your post?! - Uh, gotta go.
See you next time.
We are live from Level H8, Hater's private floor.
Only Watchdogs in Hater's inner circle are allowed on this level.
I hope to speak with someone close to the big man himself.
Though it's risky, it's worth it, because this is the story every Watchdog is waiting for.
I wonder who we'll Oh, my gosh.
That was Captain Tim, Lord Hater's personal pet.
This is a sure-fire exclusive.
We're here with Lord Hater's personal pet and dog walker.
Wow.
What I wouldn't give to work so closely - with our great leader.
- Be my guest! Welcome again to Eye On the Skull Ship.
Thanks to some of the guys in the infirmary, I was able to secure an exclusive place at one of Hater's rallies! Whoo ow, ow! Fear not, viewers.
Though I can barely see or hear our esteemed leader, I assure you, I will get at least some of the Hater coverage you demanded.
He's talking about his hated rival Lord Dominator.
Boo! And now he's saying he'll conquer her heart? That can't be right.
Well, Peepers seems to be getting very upset about this.
Hater's pulling out what appears to be some kind of - It's the T-shirt cannon! - Whoo! Nooo! Oh "I heart Dominator.
" Oh, boy.
Hello, all.
After a serious close call with Commander Peepers, your humble host has decided to do the show entirely from the safety of his security office, so he won't get fired.
But you won't believe who stopped by for a little chat with us.
The one and only Lord Hater! Hi, Andy.
It sure is an honor to be here.
Huge fan of the show.
Really? Oh, well, sir, that really means the world to me.
And each and every one of you Watchdogs mean the world to me, Andy.
In fact, I'd like to thank all the Watchdogs for their tireless service.
They're truly the backbone of the skull ship, and Oh, who am I kidding? I'm sorry, everyone.
I was a fool to think I could give you a good show.
I'll never get a Lord Hater interview.
Hey, uh, my printer stopped working.
It says I need toner.
Are you Toner? I, uh I, uh - You do TV here? - Uh, yes, sir.
Unless that would get me in trouble, in which case, no.
How many people watch your show? - Oh, it goes out all over.
- All over, huh? Dear viewers, it is with the deepest pride that I present to you the man, the myth, the leader I'm honored to serve.
The greatest in the galaxy.
Lord Hater.
- Lord Hater, how are you? - Good to be here, Toner.
Listen up, and listen good! All you poser villains out there better recognize who the G-est in the G is! It's Lord Hater, number one superstar! You want a piece of me, Emperor Dork-some? Got beef, Sandwich? Then bring it on, losers! I will lightning you so hard - that you'll be all, like - Oh, sir.
Excuse me.
How dare you interrupt my righteous rant to the galaxy?! I'm sorry, sir.
It's just that, you see, when I said the show went out all over, I meant all over the skull ship.
Not the galaxy.
Wait.
So who actually watches this? Well, I don't have the exact figures handy.
It certainly has the potential to be viewed by, you know, anyone on the ship, so mostly Watchdogs, I think.
Watchdogs?! You make a show for Watchdogs?! That's the stupidest, lamest thing ever! I mean, really?! This show is stupid! You're stupid! You should both be cancelled.
Hater out! Sector G, hall one, all clear.
Sector G, hall two, all clear.
Sector G, hall three, all clear.
Commander Peepers.
Sir, I promise I stopped doing my stupid show.
Nothing is going on.
I know.
That's the problem.
Andy fan, best show! Andy fan, best show.
Andy fan, best show! The Watchdogs are rioting.
Apparently, they wanna watch your weird little show about them.
They claim your interviews made them feel special.
Yuck! Well, you mean, I didn't need a Hater interview? I was making the show the Watchdogs wanted all along? A show that made them feel special? Wow.
I mean, that that makes me feel special.
Yeah, yeah, just make your stupid show.
Enchiladas! Welcome to Eye On the Skull Ship, the only show for Watchdogs, about Watchdogs, by a Watchdog, for Watchdogs.
I am your humble host, Andy the Watchdog, and today, I am here with Giuseppe, the ship's tailor.
So what's your secret? You see, the Watchdogs have the very big heads, and the very skinny necks.
So it's all about the stretchy shirts.
Then it's about the beanies and the booties and the glovies.
If the Watchdogs don't look good, - Giuseppe no look good.
- Fascinating.
Yuck! Why would anyone watch this? I don't know, sir.
I just don't know.