Waterloo Road (2006) s02e04 Episode Script
Series 2, Episode 4
- Here you are.
- Nice one.
- Oi, me dad's gonna be back any minute.
- That right? 'Cause it seems to me he's away for a bit longer.
''Put the bins out on a Wednesday, ''Steve Clarke comes on a Thursday.
'' We'll have to keep him company, Helms.
just give him the flaming tip, yeah? Look, I won't take it if you don't wanna give it, 'cause that would be stealing.
Nah.
Look, she's right.
Take it.
Lucky you've got no hard feelings, Donte.
Look, you better get out, or I'm calling the police.
Listen to her.
Well, call them.
And I'll call Mummy and let her know where you are, getting up to naughty tricks with your boyfriend.
Anyway, you can't throw us out now, not when there's a party gonna start.
So, what music have you got? Come on, Seddon.
- Helmsley, put that back, yeah.
- Go on, lad.
(GIBBERISH) Hemmers, get in that net.
Watch it! Seddon, stop it.
Seddon! (YELLING) (SCREAMING) I'm going surfing, like.
No, Seddon! Oi! (SEDDON SHOUTING) Get up.
Now! Why don't you just sod off and buy some other school? Right, you.
I've tried letting you go your own way and it's backfired in my face.
So that's it.
You're gonna stop your arsey attitude to me and your teachers.
- You know where my attitude comes from.
- Get in the shower.
My flaming head.
- You got any painkillers? - No, man.
Charles? Oi, Charles? (SCOFFING) Look at his face.
- Not get a bit last night, then? - Right, I want you out of here, now.
- Look, just get us some painkillers.
- Look, I ain't got no painkillers! (SIGHING) You gave us an headache and now you've got nowt to help sort it? You need to learn to become a good host, Donte.
Bottle of aspirin, what does that cost? About 80 quid? I think 80 quid should just about cover it.
- At least he's paid for his bad manners.
- Look, I want that back.
Wouldn't be nice taking his money after such a great party.
But I will take the tip you offered me last night though.
Very kind.
(SIGHS) Nice one, Donte.
Cheers, mate.
We owe you.
Yeah, cheers, man, cracking night.
(SEDDON LAUGHING) (DOOR CLOSING) - At least they're gone.
- Yeah.
Hey, now we can pop round to tea whenever we want.
- Nice one.
- Come on.
If anyone else says a word to you, I want to know about it straight away.
I'll be all right.
- GIRLS: Morning, Mr Clarkson.
- Morning.
Hello, Mika.
I was glad to hear about that rotten Leigh Ann.
I see her website's unavailable n'all.
I told you we'd teach her a lesson, didn't I? See you in a bit.
I think she's gonna need a bit more time after what she's been through.
See you later.
Where's Holly? Why didn't you come in with her? She did, miss.
She's just walked off when I said hello.
- Oh, did she now? - Yeah, we got loads of homework done.
That's it for nights out, Chlo, until I say so.
BOY 1: Fancy car.
BOY 2: I'll gonna key that.
BOY 3: Nice car.
(BOYS HECKLING) Listen to me, not them.
I'm going to prepare for my planning meeting.
You're going to your common room.
Remember to try and relax so we get the best images.
LORNA: Hopefully there won't be anything to get an image of.
Well, this is all about making sure, so try and relax and breathe normally.
(MACHINE BUZZING) - Mr Rimmer in? - Yeah.
(KNOCKING) Your first headache of the day.
Sit down.
Must be a really good mate to let you use his house like this.
He is.
Me best mate.
- Donte Charles? I never heard of him.
- Oh, what? I'm just saying I didn't know he was your best mate, that's all.
Of course he is.
Why do you think he gave me these? Yeah, says we can help ourselves to whatever we want.
So, what's the game then, eh? Fancied some revenge for getting caught out plying underage girls with drink? just didn't like the design.
Listen, that model is a symbol of all of your father's achievements.
Don't you realise how proud he is of what he's doing for the school? Yeah.
That's why it felt brilliant to smash it to bits.
Look, we know you've got a thing about your father, but you don't get your own back by behaving like a two-year-old child.
You tried having a normal conversation with him? You could have tried having a discussion with one of us, instead of resorting to violence.
Sometimes actions speak louder than words, yeah? Well, let me just put you straight, yeah? All your actions are saying is that I'm a spoilt, little brat.
So, you'd better think up some better words.
Go and get yourself to your first class.
What is there to think about? If that had been any other pupil, they'd be out the door by now.
That's what's to think about, the impact on our league table results.
We're potentially looking at four straight A's there.
jack, you cannot have one rule for everybody else and a special one for him.
Have a look in there, see if you can find anyone else who's going to get higher than a ''C''.
Better results mean more pupils, more government funding.
So what? Are we supposed to turn a blind eye to anything else he does in this school? I'm not saying that.
Davina, can you get the planning papers ready? Yes, Mr Rimmer.
Look, obviously I'll have to give Roger a call, get him to do the disciplining at home.
Can you not get through to her what's at stake here? That was a bit of a volte-face from you on the exclusions front, wasn't it? Brett Aspinall is hardly gonna start terrorizing the local shopkeepers, is he? His dad can just buy him a place at private school, or hire a tutor in for him.
He's got endless options.
The people you were excluding had got nothing else going for them.
Right, so this is not about a principle of equal treatment for all? Why don't you just save your clever remarks for Lorna Dickey? Well, at least I can have a conversation with her.
Kim, what do I have to do to make it up with you? Please, I left the job, didn't I? So it can't be that.
I honestly don't know what else Maybe I just don't like you, Andrew.
So, is he up for the high jump, then? I don't think his dad will want our exam results dropping below radar, eh? Well, all Roger said to me about his son was bragging about him being at private school.
Anyway, I'm sure if he stays on here, he's bound to cause trouble.
Well, I'll just have to bang both their heads together then, won't I? And hope that some of Roger's overseas funds find their way into our bank account soon.
Well, I sent him another reminder of those invoices.
That's my girl.
Morning.
- Morning.
- Morning, Steph.
Oh, been taking the happy pills this morning, have we, Jack? You must have noticed his mood swings, have you? One minute way up there, the next, crashing down to Earth.
- No.
- Well, you will.
You just never know where you are with him, really.
Here's your photocopies.
(KNOCKING AT DOOR) Thank you.
- Miss Shackleton? - That's me.
These are for you.
Oh.
I love flowers.
Aw.
Obviously in one of his manic phases right now.
ROGER: These are the final plans to be submitted to the DfES with our application.
We've had to move the swimming pool from its initial location, because it cut across the supply lines to the main building.
I'll be able to show you better on the model after the meeting.
jACK: Um I was gonna raise this under ''Any Other Business'', but your model is no more.
No more? What are you talking about? It's been smashed to pieces, I'm afraid.
A pupil's taken a heavy object to it.
Well, I hope you're showing this pupil the flaming door.
I suppose I should say your son, Brett, is responsible.
What? Look, I'm sure you'd rather deal with his issues yourself, Roger.
What's more of a concern to me at the moment, is our present cash-flow situation.
I mean, we've got A-Level groups with no textbooks.
Listen, Rimmer, I've proved my commitment with the new Sixth Form common room.
The finance committee has agreed on the rest of the interim payments plan.
And I don't want any special privileges for my son.
If he's done what you've said, then he's out.
- Eh? - I mean it.
And I'll be telling him so tonight.
Look, all you need to do is to reel him in a bit.
I mean, he's not a bad lad, is he? We all think he's got a lot going for himself.
Are you listening to me at all? I can see that he's embarrassed you.
Why don't I get our Head of Pastoral, Miss Campbell, to have a word with him, yeah? I'm sure she'll get to the bottom of what's going on in his head.
I know what's going on in his head.
Adolescent hormones.
And I suspect it's you he's trying to take a pop at.
Bottom line is, if he can't fit in here, then I'm sending him back to Kingsmere College.
End of.
Now, I'd be grateful if you'd leave us to get on with our planning meeting, seeing as how your own role in the new academy's not yet assured.
Nigel? Would you mind, Mr Rimmer? (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) Mika? Um I feel awful about letting you down.
I know I made things worse for you, and then, when Tom told me about the pills, I You're a lovely girl, Mika.
Don't let anybody else put you down, okay? Same with you, miss.
Sorry? Well, I mean, aren't you still chasing after Mr Rimmer? (SCOFFS) Me? Chasing after Mr Rimmer? I don't think so, Mika.
If anything, it was the other way around.
Oh.
Just everyone said he'd dumped you for the new secy.
(CHUCKLING) Rubbish.
Go on.
We need to get an apology out of Brett.
- Yeah? And how are we gonna do that? - Thumbscrews.
We're gonna need them.
He's a self-righteous little so-and-so.
just like his dad.
More criticism of Roger.
Don't you ever stop? We're looking for solutions here.
Tell Roger to keep his nose out of our affairs.
Goodbye academy.
Wonderful.
Come on, guys, can we have some collective spirit here? Why don't both of you talk to Brett? See where he's coming from, 'cause he's not telling me, is he? I'm happy to talk to him on my own.
No, I think you should take Andrew with you.
He's a tough nut to crack.
If Kim wants to do it on her own, then I've got plenty of other things to I said I want both of you in there, okay? We need him to say sorry to Daddy.
What's wrong with you two, anyway? jack, the flowers are absolutely gorgeous.
Thank you so much.
They look really expensive.
I hope I'm worth it.
You are, for sure.
Only, they're not from me.
Oh.
Oh, they must be from me dad.
He said he had a surprise for me.
He's just got home.
He's been working overseas for the last three months.
Why didn't he send them to your home? He's weird? You wouldn't have a secret admirer by any chance, would you? I wish.
- Nigel, can I have a word? - Yeah, sure.
It's as if Rimmer enjoys doing the opposite of what I want.
I know he's been needling my son from the start.
And all this bugging me about the money.
I tell you, Nigel, I'm that far away from taking my whole investment elsewhere.
I can't be financing a school if I'm at constant loggerheads with the acting head.
I know what you mean.
I've had my own run-ins with Rimmer, as you know.
So, I can count on the board's support when it comes to making a permanent appointment? Not been yourself this term, have you, Steph? Feeling a bit low, Grantly.
Binned off by Jack, just like that, the minute a new bit of totty comes along.
I believe this is one of the known drawbacks of workplace romances.
Maybe I'm just past it, Grantly.
Maybe I should buy meself a little dog and bugger finding a man to love me.
I think the drowning of sorrows is called for, hmm? Last bell to the pub.
Hi, Lorna.
How'd it go? Well, I lied when I said I wasn't claustrophobic, but I've got to wait till they get back to my GP for the results.
Right, so you didn't find anything out today? Well, the only thing I found out was that mascara's got iron in it.
(BOTH CHUCKLE) - Can I have a word? - Yeah, of course.
Everything all right, Lorn? Honestly, the best thing'll be moving into my new flat, if you're both still on for it tonight.
Oh, yeah, been doing weight-training for the event.
Well, there'll be beers during and pizza after.
A new start, yeah? It wasn't mindless vandalism, it was an act of creative destruction.
Yeah, whatever, Brett.
just, right now, we're trying to work out whether you want to continue your A-Level studies at Waterloo Road or not.
It's what I came for, isn't it? Get away from the cadet corps morons at public school.
Well, you won't be staying here if you don't try and get on the right side of your father.
If my dad wants to pull me out, I'll leave home, make myself a ward of court or whatever.
He's the one who should pull out.
Look, there's obviously problems between you and your dad, but, you know, nothing's impossible to solve, is it? Depends if you want to solve it.
You can't go through your entire life being angry with your dad.
It's only a small word, but ''sorry'' works every time.
I'm not the one who should be saying sorry.
You must know how much this'll hurt him.
I've already said.
I'm pleased with what I've done.
Someone as clever as you are, someone as privileged as you I don't think having your mum die on you when you're 15 makes you privileged.
That must have been awful.
I'm so sorry.
It can't have been easy on your dad either.
- He was hardly ever there.
- He's a busy man.
Not too busy to go screwing another woman.
I caught him with her.
Me mum had only been dead a week.
Oh, shit, I'm gonna be late for work.
just leave it, Lewis.
Shut it, you.
You trying to make me not get me ASBO lifted? Of course not, but they're not gonna care if you pull one sickie.
just get up, you stupid cow.
(SIGHS) - Think I'm gonna throw up.
- Oh, for God's sake.
Be out of here in 10 minutes, or else.
Can't I stay and meet Donte? just do as you're told and bring them keys back to me or you're for it.
- Let's buy one of them off him, eh? - They're not for sale, mate.
Come on, Donte.
We've got loads of stuff to do.
No wonder the lad's so twisted.
- You can't say anything to Roger.
- Of course not.
But we're gonna be in deep trouble with Ofsted if our A-Level programme goes tits up.
Unless, of course, we find another set of parents who are willing to take their kid out of a posh fee-paying school and bung him in here.
I think you know the answer to that one.
Until we actually see the colour of Roger's cash, his son is worth more to me than he is.
Still got to keep him on board though, haven't we? At least till the Government funding's guaranteed for the academy.
You're getting the hang of this, aren't you, Andrew? Look, I'm not happy about any of this wheeling and dealing we have to do, but he'd hardly be the only sponsor who failed to pay up, would he? Mmm.
Right, I've written back to the Gas and I've told them we're not paying them until they guarantee the boiler's fixed for at least a year.
Good.
And, you'll see here, Mrs Franklyn's threatening to come up to complain again.
I've said all I'm gonna say on the subject.
Her son got a ''D'' 'cause he deserved a ''D''.
- And? - And what? - And should I say anything else? - Like what? Like, for example, we expect him to do better this year? But we don't though, do we? Let's not go giving her ideas, eh? Right then.
That's it.
What the hell? ''Davina, I love you.
'' (CHUCKLES) I know who's behind this.
Tracey.
You see, I've got this mad friend who thinks playing practical jokes on people is a right laugh.
All right, okay.
Well, the truth is, I I told her I really liked you.
Well, more than that, actually.
So, this is trying to do what? I don't know.
Make life difficult? She wants to get herself off to a shrink.
(CHUCKLES) I've told her the exact same thing.
You tell her from me that she should stop with the practical jokes, yeah? We don't want the children going home with a load of daft stories.
Oh, I will.
I'll give her hell.
I've had enough of your nonsense, Brett.
Oh, don't give me that.
You sent those flowers, didn't you? - Like them? - And the stupid balloons? I meant what they said.
- You'd better stop this right now.
- I'm only showing my appreciation.
I bet it's not every day you get attention like that.
I was thinking of sending a singagram next.
Yeah? And I'd be after you with a blooming shotgun.
Well, then tell me what I want to hear.
That you fancy me.
(SCOFFS) - (CHUCKLING) I knew it.
- You know nothing.
You do, don't you? If the authorities got hold of this, I'd be sacked, straight off.
For what? A good-looking, rich boy like you? I mean, it's crazy that you're at this dump anyway.
Why don't you just do what your dad wants and get out of here? - I like winding him up.
- You're winding me up.
Maybe I like doing that, too.
I could really wind me dad up if I told him about us.
We do this, and I mean it, it's on my terms, okay? I can be discreet if you want.
No problem.
If you're not, it's over.
And that means no fooling around in school, full stop.
Got it? I'm deffo living off 99p burgers, anyway.
Well, after I've spent out on replacing all that booze.
Oh, my God.
Donte.
Oh, no, man.
- I don't believe it.
- Look at the state of it.
How did they get in? I'll bet it's the kitchen window, innit? CHLO: They haven't come through the front door.
Well, there ain't any other way of getting in, then, unless they used the ladders, but - It's Seddon.
- Seddon? How do you know? 'Cause he's nicked my flaming keys! My dad's car badge collection.
They've nicked the lot of 'em.
He's been collecting them for years.
Me dad's gonna kill me, Chlo.
He's gonna kill me.
My sister had to have a scan once to rule out a brain tumour, which it did, but she said the whole thing was a pretty ghastly experience.
Oh, I think hospitals are just designed to make you feel awful.
I don't know why anyone would want to work in one.
People don't know why we want to work in a school.
Yes, they do, Andrew.
It's for the social status and six-figure salary.
(BOTH CHUCKLING) Are you still all right to leave on time tonight? Absolutely.
We're gonna have to go to the police, yeah? - We can't go to the police.
- I don't care what my mum thinks.
They're not gonna get away with this.
Yeah, Yeah, too right they're not gonna get away with it.
What are you doing? We know where Lewis Seddon works, right? I'm gonna get him after school.
Donte, you can't.
You can't do that.
Look, I'm sorry, Chlo, but I've got to get my dad's things back.
Roger, just to update you.
Listen, I've had a meeting with my senior management team, and we're all of the opinion that Brett is best staying on.
So (SIGHS) jACK: Been on a camping holiday? Sorry, I was at Listen, before you start telling me another fib, maybe you could make yourself useful.
Isn't it about time you told me what you've got on Roger Aspinall? You remember you said, you hinted, that he didn't make his money from widgets.
So, where then? Okay.
We kept getting these letters from Jersey, from a company called HTX Publications and always with cheques attached.
Big cheques.
- But they weren't made out to Roger.
- No? No, they were made out to this other company, Marino Flex.
So, I thought, well, what's this when it's at home? I'm not surprised.
So, I asked Roger, how come all these cheques are getting sent to you? And he was like, ''I'm paying you to answer the phone, ''not to ask a lot of flaming questions.
'' (CHUCKLES) Didn't put you off though, did it? Well, look, HTX Publications is all adult entertainment and Marino Flex doesn't make anything.
Work it out for yourself.
Well, it's good to know he's got some funds.
- Where's my son? - What? Right, you, pack your stuff up.
- Excuse me.
- He's leaving this school.
- Now.
Shift it.
- No way! Get out of my class before I call the police.
You don't tell me what to do.
- On your feet, now.
- Leave me alone, will ya? You, go and get Mr Rimmer.
What, do you want me to wrestle you out? You're off your head.
For the last time, will you leave my classroom? Sod you.
- Right, everybody out for safety.
- What are you doing? Mr Aspinall has lost control of his senses.
Why are you such a bully? He's told you he don't want to leave.
Well, I'm his father and he does what I tell him.
What the bloody hell's going on? Would you please remove this bully from my classroom, Mr Rimmer? I'm here to remove my son.
- For God's sake, Roger.
- I warned you, Rimmer.
I suggest we go to my office.
I've got some other issues to raise with you.
- You're making a fool of yourself.
- He's lost it.
Mr Aspinall? (GRUNTS) You don't talk me down in front of me own son.
(GRUNTING) For God's sake! - He started it! - I don't believe this.
Discussed it with Hinchcliffe.
The board's on my side.
I'm entitled to have my views taken into account.
Your son wants to stay at Waterloo Road.
How many times have I got to tell you? He's not being taught here.
We're trying to see both sides of this, Roger.
Do you want me to take my money away? Put them plans in the bin? We definitely don't want that, do we, Jack? I don't think Roger would do anything so hasty.
Well, I'm not putting another penny into this place till there's a head teacher here who's on my wavelength.
You won't even get an interview.
Can't we talk about this, Roger? Before you make up your mind? jack? Fine.
You'll soon be history, Rimmer.
And when I get the go-ahead for the academy, I'll have my say on all the staffing.
Uh, Roger.
What's this? This is how Roger earns his money, Andrew.
Although, I'm sure he wouldn't like me to prove that to the Board of Governors.
So much for local boy makes good, eh? Donte.
Please.
Please leave it.
You're gonna go to jail if you assault him.
I don't care.
Look, I'm sorry, yeah, Chlo, but I've got to do this.
just stop.
Just stop and think about it.
It's you that's gonna get done for this, not Seddon.
Oi, you two.
Where do you think you're going? I was just gonna nip round to Donte's for a bit.
No, you're spending too much time together.
Come with me.
- Mum, I can't.
- I'm not arguing, Chlo.
You don't know what you're doing.
Look, I know it's porn, but my whole workforce depends on that income to feed their families.
This is money-laundering.
Well, soon as I get this big MOD contract, it'll all be straightened out.
Yeah, well, meanwhile, I've got a major headache here.
I can't be seen to be financing the school from the porn industry.
What do you mean, ''You can't be seen''? You can't do it, full stop.
I like to solve problems, me.
jack, this isn't on.
If it's found out we're educating our children on the back of porn magazines Yeah, but we're not.
Porn finances Roger's offshore company, which finances Aspinall Industrial Fixings, which is gonna finance the school.
Isn't that right, Roger? Strictly speaking.
Strictly speaking, we're breaking the law.
Oh, don't be so po-faced.
It's not like the mums and dads don't use a bit of porn themselves, is it? jack! Of course, if if we are going ahead with this, then certain things will have to change.
Like, for example, the name of the school.
Eh? Roger Aspinall Academy? It's a bit of a hostage to fortune, isn't it? I mean, you might as well call it the Big Baps Academy.
(ROGER SIGHS) Please don't tell my son.
Yeah, well, maybe there's a lot you're not telling him.
Like what? Look, there's been a flaming war going on between you about something that happened after his mum died.
Now, that's for you and him to sort out, but you better had, Roger, if you want your plans for Waterloo Road to go head.
- Right, leave it with me.
- Excellent.
And I trust this means that my future here's assured, yeah? I think we understand each other.
WAITER: You're the Eggs Benedict? Where are me dad's things? Will you put that down? You'll get me my books.
Yeah, well, give me what you nicked then.
Me? Nicked? Look, I'll smash up this whole restaurant.
Donte, hold on.
- Oh, the little cow.
- What are you on about? It's my girlfriend, Maxine, she done it.
You're lying! I'm not lying.
She's a junkie.
They nick things.
- She must have stole your keys from me.
- All right, so you did nick them.
- I want them back and all, Seddon.
- Okay, look, Donte, I promise, you'll get everything back.
Do you know what, man? - You're just a little shit, Seddon.
- Look, I'll buzz her now.
just take a seat, Donte.
I'll get you a cup of tea on the house.
just go and get me dad's stuff back.
(SIGHS) Right, that's all the living room and bedroom.
- Oh, we're nearly there then.
- What are you gonna sleep on, Lorna? No bed? Oh, I've got to buy a new bed.
Tom took our old one to the dump.
Oh.
Right.
No sofa either? No, that was where Tom first committed adultery.
- I'll be fine on a futon for now.
- Right.
Um Kitchenware.
- And this is it in profile.
- Mmm.
Can't be anything else at her age.
We'll need to call her GP, get her back in.
Come here.
What's this? just rubbish and that.
I got it from Donte's house.
Well, that's stealing.
I thought Donte said we could take anything we wanted.
I was gonna get us some gear with that.
You know what? I should slap your face for you.
Lewis, I done it for us.
Um You apologise to Donte for your thieving.
Where are my keys? It'll never happen again.
- All she cares about is drugs.
- You're still a shit, Seddon.
Will you get us a plate of chips? I'm starving.
Why can't you just get a job like me? - The usual? - Oh, yes, a very large one.
GRANTLY: A large G and T, a large Gold Watch.
Hello, miss.
Oh, hello, Maxine.
- How's things? - Great.
Excellent.
Have you been ill? No.
Don't have nowhere to live, but Well, I know full well that you have got a home, Maxine, because your mother's been up to the school, worrying about you many times.
She's kicked me out.
I mean, if you've got any spare change, miss Oh, you've not resorted to begging, have you? Will you stop annoying Miss Haydock.
Sorry, miss.
- Lewis flaming Seddon.
- Hear I got a job, Mr Budgen? Yes.
Forgot it was here.
You'll have to come down for some nosh and see me in action.
Well, let's hope this is you turning over a new leaf, Lewis.
You're very lucky you didn't end up in jail.
Yeah, dead lucky.
Well went off on one that night.
Changed personality now, though.
Really matures you up, earning your own wages.
Anyway, see ya.
- Any chance of buying us a coke? - Scram! (MOBILE PHONE BEEPING) So, come on, I reckon I owe you a nice, big drink.
Sounds great.
How you doing, Kim? Yeah, yeah, fine.
Listen, good work today with Brett.
Well done.
Yeah.
Would you like to come for a bite to eat with us? jack, you don't need to feel sorry for me, okay? I've got loads of work to do.
Oh, ditch it for tonight, eh? Me and Davina would love to have you, wouldn't we? Love it.
Well, I suppose it would save me from cooking.
Exactly.
Go and get your coat.
There you go.
All ready for tomorrow's match.
Yeah, well, can everyone just stop everything now and take a break? Tom, could you give me a hand with this bookcase? just need someone to hold it while I - Yeah, sure.
- Well, last job, you two.
I've got the whole weekend to sort the rest.
- There you go.
Privacy.
- Oh, fab.
- Cheers, Izz.
- Oh, cheers.
Do you know I've quite enjoyed meself? Hey, that Andrew's a bit of a sweetie, isn't he? I think he's drop dead.
Yeah, well, don't worry, I'm not gonna rugby tackle him around the ankles like I did with Tom.
I'm just going to be irresistible.
Go for it, girl.
jACK: Table for three, please.
Can I get you a drink? - Davina? - Do you need to ask? White wine spritzer, please.
I need the loo.
So, a beer for me, a white wine spritzer and, Kim? Do you know what? I'm just gonna leave you two to it.
Don't be daft.
No, honestly, thanks.
Ta.
I'm not really that hungry.
I'm just gonna go home.
There's bad blood between you and Andrew, isn't there? Well, what do you expect after all that backstabbing and You know that me and him had an agreement that it was best he took the job rather than someone new.
No, Jack, look, he may have been able to justify himself to you afterwards, but I'm sorry, I just don't trust him.
Even though he gave up the job because Aspinall threatened to sack you? He didn't tell you, did he? Can you just tell Davina that I've gone home with a headache? - What are you doing in here? - I wanna talk to you.
- Sit down and have a drink.
- Why would I want to drink with you? I don't even want to live in the same house any more.
Brett, it's time I talked to you about me and your mum.
Your mum and I had already said our goodbyes to one other.
That was the way she wanted it, Brett.
The sex side of our marriage hadn't been there (SIGHING) for a long time before she became ill.
She knew about Penny.
She just hoped we'd get married for your sake.
You're an even worse liar than I thought.
I'm not lying to you, son.
I wish I could and you'd buy it.
But since you won't There's no way Mum would've told you to do that.
It's sick you could even make it up! Well, here it is in her own handwriting.
Go on.
Read it for yourself.
She never meant it for your eyes, but if that's what it takes to convince you that I wasn't cheating on her I loved your mum with all my heart.
And that's how much she loved me.
Anyway, that's the truth.
And if it's too much for you to handle, then I'm gonna regret it for the rest of my life.
'Cause if I lose you as well as your mum (SNIFFLING) Look, I've decided to stay out of running of the school from now on.
I'm just gonna keep me eye on the big picture, so You have to make your own mind up what you want to do.
Dad.
(SIGHING) I don't want to read it.
(SLURRING) Right, okay, come on.
Right, it's time we hailed a cab.
Not yet.
- Oh, for God's sake.
- Oh, come on, Grantly.
It's your round.
You're meant to be cheering me up.
That's mission flaming impossible, isn't it? Hey, I'm beginning to see why Rimmer left you in the lurch now.
You won't even keep a dog to heel if you don't give it a rest, woman.
Oh, no, no, hey.
No, I'm sorry.
I'm drunk.
I'm tired.
You can sod off, Grantly.
I'll get me own bloody self home.
Oh, come on.
Stephanie! Taxi! Taxi! Right, I've got your flaming number! Taxi! Taxi! (HONKING) Bloody taxi drivers! Should all be drowned at birth! Straight past, woman on her own.
I couldn't have done it without you guys.
It's just great to see you sorted, darling.
We can give you a lift, Andrew, if you want.
No, thanks, I'll get a cab.
just give Lorna a hand with those books.
- Sure, yeah.
- See you tomorrow, then.
- See ya.
- Thanks for everything.
See ya.
Oi, get off! - Maxine Barlow! - I've got a knife! Well, that makes you big and tough, doesn't it? - Eh? Come on! - I don't want your sodding bag, right? Right.
Come here! (RETCHING) You can stop the tough act now, you little thug.
Get up.
Oh, come on, Maxine.
(MAXINE GROANING AND WHIMPERING) Max? STEPH: Eh? God.
Maxine? Come here.
Oh, God.
Are you all right? Here.
(SHUSHING) Hey, you're crying? - I'm happy.
- Good.
Can't believe it, Andrew.
Got my own place, got my self-esteem back.
I'm even daring to hope I've got my own boyfriend.
(VIBRATING)
- Nice one.
- Oi, me dad's gonna be back any minute.
- That right? 'Cause it seems to me he's away for a bit longer.
''Put the bins out on a Wednesday, ''Steve Clarke comes on a Thursday.
'' We'll have to keep him company, Helms.
just give him the flaming tip, yeah? Look, I won't take it if you don't wanna give it, 'cause that would be stealing.
Nah.
Look, she's right.
Take it.
Lucky you've got no hard feelings, Donte.
Look, you better get out, or I'm calling the police.
Listen to her.
Well, call them.
And I'll call Mummy and let her know where you are, getting up to naughty tricks with your boyfriend.
Anyway, you can't throw us out now, not when there's a party gonna start.
So, what music have you got? Come on, Seddon.
- Helmsley, put that back, yeah.
- Go on, lad.
(GIBBERISH) Hemmers, get in that net.
Watch it! Seddon, stop it.
Seddon! (YELLING) (SCREAMING) I'm going surfing, like.
No, Seddon! Oi! (SEDDON SHOUTING) Get up.
Now! Why don't you just sod off and buy some other school? Right, you.
I've tried letting you go your own way and it's backfired in my face.
So that's it.
You're gonna stop your arsey attitude to me and your teachers.
- You know where my attitude comes from.
- Get in the shower.
My flaming head.
- You got any painkillers? - No, man.
Charles? Oi, Charles? (SCOFFING) Look at his face.
- Not get a bit last night, then? - Right, I want you out of here, now.
- Look, just get us some painkillers.
- Look, I ain't got no painkillers! (SIGHING) You gave us an headache and now you've got nowt to help sort it? You need to learn to become a good host, Donte.
Bottle of aspirin, what does that cost? About 80 quid? I think 80 quid should just about cover it.
- At least he's paid for his bad manners.
- Look, I want that back.
Wouldn't be nice taking his money after such a great party.
But I will take the tip you offered me last night though.
Very kind.
(SIGHS) Nice one, Donte.
Cheers, mate.
We owe you.
Yeah, cheers, man, cracking night.
(SEDDON LAUGHING) (DOOR CLOSING) - At least they're gone.
- Yeah.
Hey, now we can pop round to tea whenever we want.
- Nice one.
- Come on.
If anyone else says a word to you, I want to know about it straight away.
I'll be all right.
- GIRLS: Morning, Mr Clarkson.
- Morning.
Hello, Mika.
I was glad to hear about that rotten Leigh Ann.
I see her website's unavailable n'all.
I told you we'd teach her a lesson, didn't I? See you in a bit.
I think she's gonna need a bit more time after what she's been through.
See you later.
Where's Holly? Why didn't you come in with her? She did, miss.
She's just walked off when I said hello.
- Oh, did she now? - Yeah, we got loads of homework done.
That's it for nights out, Chlo, until I say so.
BOY 1: Fancy car.
BOY 2: I'll gonna key that.
BOY 3: Nice car.
(BOYS HECKLING) Listen to me, not them.
I'm going to prepare for my planning meeting.
You're going to your common room.
Remember to try and relax so we get the best images.
LORNA: Hopefully there won't be anything to get an image of.
Well, this is all about making sure, so try and relax and breathe normally.
(MACHINE BUZZING) - Mr Rimmer in? - Yeah.
(KNOCKING) Your first headache of the day.
Sit down.
Must be a really good mate to let you use his house like this.
He is.
Me best mate.
- Donte Charles? I never heard of him.
- Oh, what? I'm just saying I didn't know he was your best mate, that's all.
Of course he is.
Why do you think he gave me these? Yeah, says we can help ourselves to whatever we want.
So, what's the game then, eh? Fancied some revenge for getting caught out plying underage girls with drink? just didn't like the design.
Listen, that model is a symbol of all of your father's achievements.
Don't you realise how proud he is of what he's doing for the school? Yeah.
That's why it felt brilliant to smash it to bits.
Look, we know you've got a thing about your father, but you don't get your own back by behaving like a two-year-old child.
You tried having a normal conversation with him? You could have tried having a discussion with one of us, instead of resorting to violence.
Sometimes actions speak louder than words, yeah? Well, let me just put you straight, yeah? All your actions are saying is that I'm a spoilt, little brat.
So, you'd better think up some better words.
Go and get yourself to your first class.
What is there to think about? If that had been any other pupil, they'd be out the door by now.
That's what's to think about, the impact on our league table results.
We're potentially looking at four straight A's there.
jack, you cannot have one rule for everybody else and a special one for him.
Have a look in there, see if you can find anyone else who's going to get higher than a ''C''.
Better results mean more pupils, more government funding.
So what? Are we supposed to turn a blind eye to anything else he does in this school? I'm not saying that.
Davina, can you get the planning papers ready? Yes, Mr Rimmer.
Look, obviously I'll have to give Roger a call, get him to do the disciplining at home.
Can you not get through to her what's at stake here? That was a bit of a volte-face from you on the exclusions front, wasn't it? Brett Aspinall is hardly gonna start terrorizing the local shopkeepers, is he? His dad can just buy him a place at private school, or hire a tutor in for him.
He's got endless options.
The people you were excluding had got nothing else going for them.
Right, so this is not about a principle of equal treatment for all? Why don't you just save your clever remarks for Lorna Dickey? Well, at least I can have a conversation with her.
Kim, what do I have to do to make it up with you? Please, I left the job, didn't I? So it can't be that.
I honestly don't know what else Maybe I just don't like you, Andrew.
So, is he up for the high jump, then? I don't think his dad will want our exam results dropping below radar, eh? Well, all Roger said to me about his son was bragging about him being at private school.
Anyway, I'm sure if he stays on here, he's bound to cause trouble.
Well, I'll just have to bang both their heads together then, won't I? And hope that some of Roger's overseas funds find their way into our bank account soon.
Well, I sent him another reminder of those invoices.
That's my girl.
Morning.
- Morning.
- Morning, Steph.
Oh, been taking the happy pills this morning, have we, Jack? You must have noticed his mood swings, have you? One minute way up there, the next, crashing down to Earth.
- No.
- Well, you will.
You just never know where you are with him, really.
Here's your photocopies.
(KNOCKING AT DOOR) Thank you.
- Miss Shackleton? - That's me.
These are for you.
Oh.
I love flowers.
Aw.
Obviously in one of his manic phases right now.
ROGER: These are the final plans to be submitted to the DfES with our application.
We've had to move the swimming pool from its initial location, because it cut across the supply lines to the main building.
I'll be able to show you better on the model after the meeting.
jACK: Um I was gonna raise this under ''Any Other Business'', but your model is no more.
No more? What are you talking about? It's been smashed to pieces, I'm afraid.
A pupil's taken a heavy object to it.
Well, I hope you're showing this pupil the flaming door.
I suppose I should say your son, Brett, is responsible.
What? Look, I'm sure you'd rather deal with his issues yourself, Roger.
What's more of a concern to me at the moment, is our present cash-flow situation.
I mean, we've got A-Level groups with no textbooks.
Listen, Rimmer, I've proved my commitment with the new Sixth Form common room.
The finance committee has agreed on the rest of the interim payments plan.
And I don't want any special privileges for my son.
If he's done what you've said, then he's out.
- Eh? - I mean it.
And I'll be telling him so tonight.
Look, all you need to do is to reel him in a bit.
I mean, he's not a bad lad, is he? We all think he's got a lot going for himself.
Are you listening to me at all? I can see that he's embarrassed you.
Why don't I get our Head of Pastoral, Miss Campbell, to have a word with him, yeah? I'm sure she'll get to the bottom of what's going on in his head.
I know what's going on in his head.
Adolescent hormones.
And I suspect it's you he's trying to take a pop at.
Bottom line is, if he can't fit in here, then I'm sending him back to Kingsmere College.
End of.
Now, I'd be grateful if you'd leave us to get on with our planning meeting, seeing as how your own role in the new academy's not yet assured.
Nigel? Would you mind, Mr Rimmer? (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) Mika? Um I feel awful about letting you down.
I know I made things worse for you, and then, when Tom told me about the pills, I You're a lovely girl, Mika.
Don't let anybody else put you down, okay? Same with you, miss.
Sorry? Well, I mean, aren't you still chasing after Mr Rimmer? (SCOFFS) Me? Chasing after Mr Rimmer? I don't think so, Mika.
If anything, it was the other way around.
Oh.
Just everyone said he'd dumped you for the new secy.
(CHUCKLING) Rubbish.
Go on.
We need to get an apology out of Brett.
- Yeah? And how are we gonna do that? - Thumbscrews.
We're gonna need them.
He's a self-righteous little so-and-so.
just like his dad.
More criticism of Roger.
Don't you ever stop? We're looking for solutions here.
Tell Roger to keep his nose out of our affairs.
Goodbye academy.
Wonderful.
Come on, guys, can we have some collective spirit here? Why don't both of you talk to Brett? See where he's coming from, 'cause he's not telling me, is he? I'm happy to talk to him on my own.
No, I think you should take Andrew with you.
He's a tough nut to crack.
If Kim wants to do it on her own, then I've got plenty of other things to I said I want both of you in there, okay? We need him to say sorry to Daddy.
What's wrong with you two, anyway? jack, the flowers are absolutely gorgeous.
Thank you so much.
They look really expensive.
I hope I'm worth it.
You are, for sure.
Only, they're not from me.
Oh.
Oh, they must be from me dad.
He said he had a surprise for me.
He's just got home.
He's been working overseas for the last three months.
Why didn't he send them to your home? He's weird? You wouldn't have a secret admirer by any chance, would you? I wish.
- Nigel, can I have a word? - Yeah, sure.
It's as if Rimmer enjoys doing the opposite of what I want.
I know he's been needling my son from the start.
And all this bugging me about the money.
I tell you, Nigel, I'm that far away from taking my whole investment elsewhere.
I can't be financing a school if I'm at constant loggerheads with the acting head.
I know what you mean.
I've had my own run-ins with Rimmer, as you know.
So, I can count on the board's support when it comes to making a permanent appointment? Not been yourself this term, have you, Steph? Feeling a bit low, Grantly.
Binned off by Jack, just like that, the minute a new bit of totty comes along.
I believe this is one of the known drawbacks of workplace romances.
Maybe I'm just past it, Grantly.
Maybe I should buy meself a little dog and bugger finding a man to love me.
I think the drowning of sorrows is called for, hmm? Last bell to the pub.
Hi, Lorna.
How'd it go? Well, I lied when I said I wasn't claustrophobic, but I've got to wait till they get back to my GP for the results.
Right, so you didn't find anything out today? Well, the only thing I found out was that mascara's got iron in it.
(BOTH CHUCKLE) - Can I have a word? - Yeah, of course.
Everything all right, Lorn? Honestly, the best thing'll be moving into my new flat, if you're both still on for it tonight.
Oh, yeah, been doing weight-training for the event.
Well, there'll be beers during and pizza after.
A new start, yeah? It wasn't mindless vandalism, it was an act of creative destruction.
Yeah, whatever, Brett.
just, right now, we're trying to work out whether you want to continue your A-Level studies at Waterloo Road or not.
It's what I came for, isn't it? Get away from the cadet corps morons at public school.
Well, you won't be staying here if you don't try and get on the right side of your father.
If my dad wants to pull me out, I'll leave home, make myself a ward of court or whatever.
He's the one who should pull out.
Look, there's obviously problems between you and your dad, but, you know, nothing's impossible to solve, is it? Depends if you want to solve it.
You can't go through your entire life being angry with your dad.
It's only a small word, but ''sorry'' works every time.
I'm not the one who should be saying sorry.
You must know how much this'll hurt him.
I've already said.
I'm pleased with what I've done.
Someone as clever as you are, someone as privileged as you I don't think having your mum die on you when you're 15 makes you privileged.
That must have been awful.
I'm so sorry.
It can't have been easy on your dad either.
- He was hardly ever there.
- He's a busy man.
Not too busy to go screwing another woman.
I caught him with her.
Me mum had only been dead a week.
Oh, shit, I'm gonna be late for work.
just leave it, Lewis.
Shut it, you.
You trying to make me not get me ASBO lifted? Of course not, but they're not gonna care if you pull one sickie.
just get up, you stupid cow.
(SIGHS) - Think I'm gonna throw up.
- Oh, for God's sake.
Be out of here in 10 minutes, or else.
Can't I stay and meet Donte? just do as you're told and bring them keys back to me or you're for it.
- Let's buy one of them off him, eh? - They're not for sale, mate.
Come on, Donte.
We've got loads of stuff to do.
No wonder the lad's so twisted.
- You can't say anything to Roger.
- Of course not.
But we're gonna be in deep trouble with Ofsted if our A-Level programme goes tits up.
Unless, of course, we find another set of parents who are willing to take their kid out of a posh fee-paying school and bung him in here.
I think you know the answer to that one.
Until we actually see the colour of Roger's cash, his son is worth more to me than he is.
Still got to keep him on board though, haven't we? At least till the Government funding's guaranteed for the academy.
You're getting the hang of this, aren't you, Andrew? Look, I'm not happy about any of this wheeling and dealing we have to do, but he'd hardly be the only sponsor who failed to pay up, would he? Mmm.
Right, I've written back to the Gas and I've told them we're not paying them until they guarantee the boiler's fixed for at least a year.
Good.
And, you'll see here, Mrs Franklyn's threatening to come up to complain again.
I've said all I'm gonna say on the subject.
Her son got a ''D'' 'cause he deserved a ''D''.
- And? - And what? - And should I say anything else? - Like what? Like, for example, we expect him to do better this year? But we don't though, do we? Let's not go giving her ideas, eh? Right then.
That's it.
What the hell? ''Davina, I love you.
'' (CHUCKLES) I know who's behind this.
Tracey.
You see, I've got this mad friend who thinks playing practical jokes on people is a right laugh.
All right, okay.
Well, the truth is, I I told her I really liked you.
Well, more than that, actually.
So, this is trying to do what? I don't know.
Make life difficult? She wants to get herself off to a shrink.
(CHUCKLES) I've told her the exact same thing.
You tell her from me that she should stop with the practical jokes, yeah? We don't want the children going home with a load of daft stories.
Oh, I will.
I'll give her hell.
I've had enough of your nonsense, Brett.
Oh, don't give me that.
You sent those flowers, didn't you? - Like them? - And the stupid balloons? I meant what they said.
- You'd better stop this right now.
- I'm only showing my appreciation.
I bet it's not every day you get attention like that.
I was thinking of sending a singagram next.
Yeah? And I'd be after you with a blooming shotgun.
Well, then tell me what I want to hear.
That you fancy me.
(SCOFFS) - (CHUCKLING) I knew it.
- You know nothing.
You do, don't you? If the authorities got hold of this, I'd be sacked, straight off.
For what? A good-looking, rich boy like you? I mean, it's crazy that you're at this dump anyway.
Why don't you just do what your dad wants and get out of here? - I like winding him up.
- You're winding me up.
Maybe I like doing that, too.
I could really wind me dad up if I told him about us.
We do this, and I mean it, it's on my terms, okay? I can be discreet if you want.
No problem.
If you're not, it's over.
And that means no fooling around in school, full stop.
Got it? I'm deffo living off 99p burgers, anyway.
Well, after I've spent out on replacing all that booze.
Oh, my God.
Donte.
Oh, no, man.
- I don't believe it.
- Look at the state of it.
How did they get in? I'll bet it's the kitchen window, innit? CHLO: They haven't come through the front door.
Well, there ain't any other way of getting in, then, unless they used the ladders, but - It's Seddon.
- Seddon? How do you know? 'Cause he's nicked my flaming keys! My dad's car badge collection.
They've nicked the lot of 'em.
He's been collecting them for years.
Me dad's gonna kill me, Chlo.
He's gonna kill me.
My sister had to have a scan once to rule out a brain tumour, which it did, but she said the whole thing was a pretty ghastly experience.
Oh, I think hospitals are just designed to make you feel awful.
I don't know why anyone would want to work in one.
People don't know why we want to work in a school.
Yes, they do, Andrew.
It's for the social status and six-figure salary.
(BOTH CHUCKLING) Are you still all right to leave on time tonight? Absolutely.
We're gonna have to go to the police, yeah? - We can't go to the police.
- I don't care what my mum thinks.
They're not gonna get away with this.
Yeah, Yeah, too right they're not gonna get away with it.
What are you doing? We know where Lewis Seddon works, right? I'm gonna get him after school.
Donte, you can't.
You can't do that.
Look, I'm sorry, Chlo, but I've got to get my dad's things back.
Roger, just to update you.
Listen, I've had a meeting with my senior management team, and we're all of the opinion that Brett is best staying on.
So (SIGHS) jACK: Been on a camping holiday? Sorry, I was at Listen, before you start telling me another fib, maybe you could make yourself useful.
Isn't it about time you told me what you've got on Roger Aspinall? You remember you said, you hinted, that he didn't make his money from widgets.
So, where then? Okay.
We kept getting these letters from Jersey, from a company called HTX Publications and always with cheques attached.
Big cheques.
- But they weren't made out to Roger.
- No? No, they were made out to this other company, Marino Flex.
So, I thought, well, what's this when it's at home? I'm not surprised.
So, I asked Roger, how come all these cheques are getting sent to you? And he was like, ''I'm paying you to answer the phone, ''not to ask a lot of flaming questions.
'' (CHUCKLES) Didn't put you off though, did it? Well, look, HTX Publications is all adult entertainment and Marino Flex doesn't make anything.
Work it out for yourself.
Well, it's good to know he's got some funds.
- Where's my son? - What? Right, you, pack your stuff up.
- Excuse me.
- He's leaving this school.
- Now.
Shift it.
- No way! Get out of my class before I call the police.
You don't tell me what to do.
- On your feet, now.
- Leave me alone, will ya? You, go and get Mr Rimmer.
What, do you want me to wrestle you out? You're off your head.
For the last time, will you leave my classroom? Sod you.
- Right, everybody out for safety.
- What are you doing? Mr Aspinall has lost control of his senses.
Why are you such a bully? He's told you he don't want to leave.
Well, I'm his father and he does what I tell him.
What the bloody hell's going on? Would you please remove this bully from my classroom, Mr Rimmer? I'm here to remove my son.
- For God's sake, Roger.
- I warned you, Rimmer.
I suggest we go to my office.
I've got some other issues to raise with you.
- You're making a fool of yourself.
- He's lost it.
Mr Aspinall? (GRUNTS) You don't talk me down in front of me own son.
(GRUNTING) For God's sake! - He started it! - I don't believe this.
Discussed it with Hinchcliffe.
The board's on my side.
I'm entitled to have my views taken into account.
Your son wants to stay at Waterloo Road.
How many times have I got to tell you? He's not being taught here.
We're trying to see both sides of this, Roger.
Do you want me to take my money away? Put them plans in the bin? We definitely don't want that, do we, Jack? I don't think Roger would do anything so hasty.
Well, I'm not putting another penny into this place till there's a head teacher here who's on my wavelength.
You won't even get an interview.
Can't we talk about this, Roger? Before you make up your mind? jack? Fine.
You'll soon be history, Rimmer.
And when I get the go-ahead for the academy, I'll have my say on all the staffing.
Uh, Roger.
What's this? This is how Roger earns his money, Andrew.
Although, I'm sure he wouldn't like me to prove that to the Board of Governors.
So much for local boy makes good, eh? Donte.
Please.
Please leave it.
You're gonna go to jail if you assault him.
I don't care.
Look, I'm sorry, yeah, Chlo, but I've got to do this.
just stop.
Just stop and think about it.
It's you that's gonna get done for this, not Seddon.
Oi, you two.
Where do you think you're going? I was just gonna nip round to Donte's for a bit.
No, you're spending too much time together.
Come with me.
- Mum, I can't.
- I'm not arguing, Chlo.
You don't know what you're doing.
Look, I know it's porn, but my whole workforce depends on that income to feed their families.
This is money-laundering.
Well, soon as I get this big MOD contract, it'll all be straightened out.
Yeah, well, meanwhile, I've got a major headache here.
I can't be seen to be financing the school from the porn industry.
What do you mean, ''You can't be seen''? You can't do it, full stop.
I like to solve problems, me.
jack, this isn't on.
If it's found out we're educating our children on the back of porn magazines Yeah, but we're not.
Porn finances Roger's offshore company, which finances Aspinall Industrial Fixings, which is gonna finance the school.
Isn't that right, Roger? Strictly speaking.
Strictly speaking, we're breaking the law.
Oh, don't be so po-faced.
It's not like the mums and dads don't use a bit of porn themselves, is it? jack! Of course, if if we are going ahead with this, then certain things will have to change.
Like, for example, the name of the school.
Eh? Roger Aspinall Academy? It's a bit of a hostage to fortune, isn't it? I mean, you might as well call it the Big Baps Academy.
(ROGER SIGHS) Please don't tell my son.
Yeah, well, maybe there's a lot you're not telling him.
Like what? Look, there's been a flaming war going on between you about something that happened after his mum died.
Now, that's for you and him to sort out, but you better had, Roger, if you want your plans for Waterloo Road to go head.
- Right, leave it with me.
- Excellent.
And I trust this means that my future here's assured, yeah? I think we understand each other.
WAITER: You're the Eggs Benedict? Where are me dad's things? Will you put that down? You'll get me my books.
Yeah, well, give me what you nicked then.
Me? Nicked? Look, I'll smash up this whole restaurant.
Donte, hold on.
- Oh, the little cow.
- What are you on about? It's my girlfriend, Maxine, she done it.
You're lying! I'm not lying.
She's a junkie.
They nick things.
- She must have stole your keys from me.
- All right, so you did nick them.
- I want them back and all, Seddon.
- Okay, look, Donte, I promise, you'll get everything back.
Do you know what, man? - You're just a little shit, Seddon.
- Look, I'll buzz her now.
just take a seat, Donte.
I'll get you a cup of tea on the house.
just go and get me dad's stuff back.
(SIGHS) Right, that's all the living room and bedroom.
- Oh, we're nearly there then.
- What are you gonna sleep on, Lorna? No bed? Oh, I've got to buy a new bed.
Tom took our old one to the dump.
Oh.
Right.
No sofa either? No, that was where Tom first committed adultery.
- I'll be fine on a futon for now.
- Right.
Um Kitchenware.
- And this is it in profile.
- Mmm.
Can't be anything else at her age.
We'll need to call her GP, get her back in.
Come here.
What's this? just rubbish and that.
I got it from Donte's house.
Well, that's stealing.
I thought Donte said we could take anything we wanted.
I was gonna get us some gear with that.
You know what? I should slap your face for you.
Lewis, I done it for us.
Um You apologise to Donte for your thieving.
Where are my keys? It'll never happen again.
- All she cares about is drugs.
- You're still a shit, Seddon.
Will you get us a plate of chips? I'm starving.
Why can't you just get a job like me? - The usual? - Oh, yes, a very large one.
GRANTLY: A large G and T, a large Gold Watch.
Hello, miss.
Oh, hello, Maxine.
- How's things? - Great.
Excellent.
Have you been ill? No.
Don't have nowhere to live, but Well, I know full well that you have got a home, Maxine, because your mother's been up to the school, worrying about you many times.
She's kicked me out.
I mean, if you've got any spare change, miss Oh, you've not resorted to begging, have you? Will you stop annoying Miss Haydock.
Sorry, miss.
- Lewis flaming Seddon.
- Hear I got a job, Mr Budgen? Yes.
Forgot it was here.
You'll have to come down for some nosh and see me in action.
Well, let's hope this is you turning over a new leaf, Lewis.
You're very lucky you didn't end up in jail.
Yeah, dead lucky.
Well went off on one that night.
Changed personality now, though.
Really matures you up, earning your own wages.
Anyway, see ya.
- Any chance of buying us a coke? - Scram! (MOBILE PHONE BEEPING) So, come on, I reckon I owe you a nice, big drink.
Sounds great.
How you doing, Kim? Yeah, yeah, fine.
Listen, good work today with Brett.
Well done.
Yeah.
Would you like to come for a bite to eat with us? jack, you don't need to feel sorry for me, okay? I've got loads of work to do.
Oh, ditch it for tonight, eh? Me and Davina would love to have you, wouldn't we? Love it.
Well, I suppose it would save me from cooking.
Exactly.
Go and get your coat.
There you go.
All ready for tomorrow's match.
Yeah, well, can everyone just stop everything now and take a break? Tom, could you give me a hand with this bookcase? just need someone to hold it while I - Yeah, sure.
- Well, last job, you two.
I've got the whole weekend to sort the rest.
- There you go.
Privacy.
- Oh, fab.
- Cheers, Izz.
- Oh, cheers.
Do you know I've quite enjoyed meself? Hey, that Andrew's a bit of a sweetie, isn't he? I think he's drop dead.
Yeah, well, don't worry, I'm not gonna rugby tackle him around the ankles like I did with Tom.
I'm just going to be irresistible.
Go for it, girl.
jACK: Table for three, please.
Can I get you a drink? - Davina? - Do you need to ask? White wine spritzer, please.
I need the loo.
So, a beer for me, a white wine spritzer and, Kim? Do you know what? I'm just gonna leave you two to it.
Don't be daft.
No, honestly, thanks.
Ta.
I'm not really that hungry.
I'm just gonna go home.
There's bad blood between you and Andrew, isn't there? Well, what do you expect after all that backstabbing and You know that me and him had an agreement that it was best he took the job rather than someone new.
No, Jack, look, he may have been able to justify himself to you afterwards, but I'm sorry, I just don't trust him.
Even though he gave up the job because Aspinall threatened to sack you? He didn't tell you, did he? Can you just tell Davina that I've gone home with a headache? - What are you doing in here? - I wanna talk to you.
- Sit down and have a drink.
- Why would I want to drink with you? I don't even want to live in the same house any more.
Brett, it's time I talked to you about me and your mum.
Your mum and I had already said our goodbyes to one other.
That was the way she wanted it, Brett.
The sex side of our marriage hadn't been there (SIGHING) for a long time before she became ill.
She knew about Penny.
She just hoped we'd get married for your sake.
You're an even worse liar than I thought.
I'm not lying to you, son.
I wish I could and you'd buy it.
But since you won't There's no way Mum would've told you to do that.
It's sick you could even make it up! Well, here it is in her own handwriting.
Go on.
Read it for yourself.
She never meant it for your eyes, but if that's what it takes to convince you that I wasn't cheating on her I loved your mum with all my heart.
And that's how much she loved me.
Anyway, that's the truth.
And if it's too much for you to handle, then I'm gonna regret it for the rest of my life.
'Cause if I lose you as well as your mum (SNIFFLING) Look, I've decided to stay out of running of the school from now on.
I'm just gonna keep me eye on the big picture, so You have to make your own mind up what you want to do.
Dad.
(SIGHING) I don't want to read it.
(SLURRING) Right, okay, come on.
Right, it's time we hailed a cab.
Not yet.
- Oh, for God's sake.
- Oh, come on, Grantly.
It's your round.
You're meant to be cheering me up.
That's mission flaming impossible, isn't it? Hey, I'm beginning to see why Rimmer left you in the lurch now.
You won't even keep a dog to heel if you don't give it a rest, woman.
Oh, no, no, hey.
No, I'm sorry.
I'm drunk.
I'm tired.
You can sod off, Grantly.
I'll get me own bloody self home.
Oh, come on.
Stephanie! Taxi! Taxi! Right, I've got your flaming number! Taxi! Taxi! (HONKING) Bloody taxi drivers! Should all be drowned at birth! Straight past, woman on her own.
I couldn't have done it without you guys.
It's just great to see you sorted, darling.
We can give you a lift, Andrew, if you want.
No, thanks, I'll get a cab.
just give Lorna a hand with those books.
- Sure, yeah.
- See you tomorrow, then.
- See ya.
- Thanks for everything.
See ya.
Oi, get off! - Maxine Barlow! - I've got a knife! Well, that makes you big and tough, doesn't it? - Eh? Come on! - I don't want your sodding bag, right? Right.
Come here! (RETCHING) You can stop the tough act now, you little thug.
Get up.
Oh, come on, Maxine.
(MAXINE GROANING AND WHIMPERING) Max? STEPH: Eh? God.
Maxine? Come here.
Oh, God.
Are you all right? Here.
(SHUSHING) Hey, you're crying? - I'm happy.
- Good.
Can't believe it, Andrew.
Got my own place, got my self-esteem back.
I'm even daring to hope I've got my own boyfriend.
(VIBRATING)