Weeds s06e08 Episode Script

Gentle Puppies

Previously on Weeds.
Your trimmings.
I'll take them.
I'm thinking $100 buys me a lot.
We're making hash.
This is a driver's license, so you should probably learn to drive now.
Go get her.
Get my son.
- Shane! - The fuckers got me.
Where's my son? New rules.
Number one.
Keep moving.
This family needs some fun.
Remind me again where we're supposed to be sleeping tonight.
We could live here.
Plus, we need to dump Cesar's car.
- Win this.
- On it.
We have a winner! State law requires us to submit Social Security numbers.
He doesn't have a Social Security number.
I drew up her will.
I was simply her lawyer for personal matters, and personal matters only.
Yes, I mean, I did handle one legal matter for her, regarding a bakery that she owned, yeah, okay, which unfortunately later burned to the ground.
Yes, I also helped her with the insurance company when they weren't paying on the settlement of her house, which also unfortunately burned to the ground.
But that is it.
That is all I did.
Okay, yes, I also represented her when the DEA called her in for questioning about the tunnel.
Or maybe it was gang affiliation.
I don't remember.
Invoices? No, I don't have any invoices from her, because she paid me cash.
She paid me cash once.
No, no, no, I'm telling you the truth.
No, absolutely, this is It's the truth.
I just I had Thai food for lunch.
It was very spicy.
And that's why I'm all sweaty.
It's just a It's the spice.
I'm You know, I'm Jewish.
So, we don't do well with the spice sometimes.
Pastor Jim's TV's back there.
He had speakers installed.
There's plenty of storage.
And those would be his.
All included with the price.
- So, it runs okay? - Yeah, of course.
He didn't want to get stranded out there during one of his missions.
Nice mirror on the ceiling.
What's with all the hooks? He put in a swing right before his arrest.
- Embezzlement.
- Been there.
Would you consider a lower offer? I'd consider anything that gets it out of my life.
When do we get it painted? I'm thinking we buy some cans of spray paint on the way out of town.
Just flat black.
Well, I'm gonna finish up.
I'll lead in the Godmobile.
You follow.
- Are you getting rid of Cesar's car? - Yes.
- Can I have it? - No.
But a lot of kids get cars when they get their license.
The car is stolen, your license is fake.
- But I know how to drive.
- Shane, I said no.
Besides, I'm thinking of setting this car on fire.
I haven't decided yet.
Well, can I drive it at least once before you set it on fire? Please? I got kidnapped.
So, when Ignacio had me take him on errands.
Dry cleaners, Costco, a shakedown at Jamba Juice.
We gonna sleep in that thing tonight? Tonight, and the rest of our lives on the lam.
I just need one more washer.
If I could keep them going around the clock, I could produce enough product So, hey.
You think I'm smart, right? Yes, of course! So I probably don't need to go back to school.
I could just test out.
You know, if you'd asked me a week ago, I would've said absolutely not.
But to tell you the truth, high school blows.
It's overrated, and you're not really suited to it, anyway.
You're right.
We need an alternative plan, one that's more suited to your path.
I don't want to be homeschooled, though.
No, I think I've tried that.
And unfortunately you learned all the wrong lessons.
The mother lode! What? What now? "The Back Doors of Israel"? "Nail Me in the Kibbutz"? "Gaza Boy Strippers, Tell Aviv I'm Gonna Bang Him.
" Bring them up, bring them up! Gay Israeli porn.
Hats off, Pastor Jim.
Hold one up.
I'm better-looking than that guy.
And him.
Shit! Flush the drugs! Go! Doug! Flush! Eat! Go! Drugs! Drugs! Drugs! - No drugs.
No drugs! - No Mom.
And no Shane.
All right.
We're clean.
Pull over here, just past the curve.
Fuck that.
This is our shot.
We have everything we need, the baby and the hash stuff in the trunk.
A full tank of gas.
Come on, they're holding us back, and you know it.
Yeah, right here's good.
Mom, they don't have the balls for this.
Besides, we're just making their lives miserable.
Come on.
Cut them loose.
Let them go home.
Okay, 10 points for chutzpah.
Pull over here before I grab the wheel, or your hair, or both.
Side door.
Everyone look casual.
- Okay if I enter? - Sure, yes, absolutely.
License and registration? It's quite a vehicle you got here.
It's the praise wagon.
"God is awesome love," exclamation point.
Bumper sticker? Travel Bible? You affiliated with a church around here? No.
The Lord has blessed us with the gift of itinerancy.
We are ramblers, following the trail of his work.
Go where we're needed.
And you're the pastor.
Randall Newman? I am.
Pastor Randy.
Assistant Pastor Ted.
This is Billy.
Picked him up hustling the streets of Seattle.
Shattered husk of a boy.
But he's coming back.
Aren't you, Billy? Sure am, Pastor.
I clocked you at 68.
This area's 45 max.
Entirely my fault.
Writing a sermon in my head about the hard times we're falling on in this country.
Folks going bankrupt, people living in a bad spiritual state.
Giving up hope.
Didn't keep my eye on the speed.
Forgive me.
Can I ask you a question? - Certainly.
- What's it mean about "turn the other cheek"? Well, our God is a forgiving God.
To engage in retaliation is not to live in his image.
We should live as gentle puppies, frolicking, softly tumbling against each other.
Puppies? You keep an eye on your speed.
Thank you, brother.
Thank you.
Jesus saves.
Well, this is interesting.
You said deep underground.
Where did you hear about this place? Legendary in the off-grid community.
No signs for it out on the road.
You didn't notice? The locals keep taking them down so no one finds out about it.
This is some deep outlaw shit.
- Is it a ghost town? - No, it's all fake.
See? These are just fronts.
They shot old westerns here.
What about electricity and running water? Moving in or just visiting? Moving in.
Sunrise Lane's open.
Number 14.
Down near me.
Left after the horseshoe sign.
I'm Sugarpop.
Who's the reverend? That'd be me.
Well, it is good to have you, Reverend.
Social hour's at 7:00 at the dry goods and feed store.
All are welcome! Wow.
Sugarpop's some deep outlaw shit.
Everybody, come on.
Up off your asses.
Put this crap away! Organize your new home! Now! No water, Nance.
We're dry.
- Yeah, the shower doesn't work, either.
- Or the toilet.
I wouldn't recommend opening that.
Doug left a gift.
That wasn't me.
You had the monster burrito.
You had the oatmeal, you little prick.
When was somebody gonna tell me this? We need water to make formula.
Get me water.
Get me another washing machine.
Get it done! Don't come back till you're finished! Wow.
Your mother really needs to get laid.
What makes her so special? Who among us does not need to get laid? You don't see us getting all grumpy.
We rule.
She sucks! But let's go.
Let's go do her angry bidding so she doesn't hit us.
Give her six minutes.
If she's not done by then, you go in and club her to death.
I'll grab the hose.
Hi there.
We just moved in down the way.
Looks like you guys might know where I could get a washing machine for our rig.
Look at that.
Does it work? How much you want for it? $200.
Includes delivery.
Didn't even try to bargain.
What's the matter with you? Where's your Jewish half? Got to pee! Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
Nance? You in there? Oh, my God.
Get it together.
- Sorry.
- We got company.
Right here is fine.
Weed? It's the previous owner.
We're still airing it out.
I'll buy, if you have.
It's been a long time.
Not yet, but He was in a much better mood when he used to get high.
- I'm Simon.
- Nathalie.
- Hey.
- Randy.
- Nice to meet you.
- I'm Mike.
Marvin! What are the chances of you being here? - This is great! - Simon.
- U-Turn? - Simon.
This is my brother Shawn.
And our family friend Ted.
- Hey.
- Son! All right, I'll get going.
You guys have a good day.
See you.
- Sorry, man, they all - Mission accomplished.
We have a full tank of water.
Hey, I'm in there when you're finished.
Want something done? Ask a busy person.
Doug, where'd you get the water? You people got a little fucking confused! Really? How so? Taking my grandmother's water! That wasn't your water! Who the fuck are you anyway? I've never heard of "God is awesome!" We must've made a mistake.
I'll say you made a mistake! You made a big mistake! What's your name? Keith.
Okay, Keith.
Would 10 bucks help? I've got to go back to town now to the KOA to refill, and it's 23 miles away! How about $20? $20 is a lot of money for water.
Yeah, $20.
No, $40! Fucking $50! Keith! My son! Forgive us! No, fucking, no.
What are you? I'm Pastor Randy.
This is Nathalie, leader of our choir.
Well, God hates me.
My grandma says I'm going to hell for everything that I did, so if you think I'm gonna listen I've just reached my limit of deep outlaw shit, so Good luck to you, and I'll see you later.
Walk with me, my child.
- Don't touch me! - All right.
Just keep the bat in front of you.
He should have been baptized.
It was a mistake I have regretted my whole life.
Would you like to add on our special mobile-home blessing? $99.
Day of baptism special.
New clients only.
Assistant Pastor Ted will come and get you when we're ready.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Customer! Customer taking a beer! Customer looking for bottle opener in weird, empty, dismal, podunk bar.
It's right behind you.
On the string hanging on the wall.
What the hell is that? My father's.
So, ladies have to sit at the tables.
Your dad still alive? Nope.
Maybe it's time to take that down.
You want to buy a Lincoln Town Car? Not my style.
You drive a pick-up truck.
Ten, 15 years old.
Still has a cassette player.
With a tape stuck in it.
Customer excusing complete lack of service and pouring herself a shot.
What are you doing? No! Not now! Get dressed! Cover up this shit! Come on! They'll be here soon.
- Where's Silas? - Went to borrow a pool.
Hey, can I eat this? - No.
- Put away the hash, get dressed, gather up all the Jesus crap, and meet me outside.
Get your shit together! It's almost show time! Thanks for the pool.
My dad won't miss it.
You guys staying a while? I guess.
What happened? With what? Come on, man.
Nobody is here who has anyplace better they can be.
It's pretty much the end of the road.
So, what happened with you guys? My dad, he shot somebody.
It was a mistake, but we can't go back now.
The guy didn't die.
We weren't so lucky.
Son of Christ God! Welcome into heaven happily our son Keith, child of the Lord, flower of the field.
- Praise him! - Help our son be washed clean.
Wash him of his sins like river currents.
Your Holy Word swooshing over him! He is risen! Yes! Hallelujah! Wash anew! I'm saved, Granny! Praise Jesus! No smoking.
State law.
Wouldn't want to piss off the only other customer.
Do you mind? No? He doesn't mind.
Closing early.
Sorry, Thomas.
I said no smoking.
You don't listen.
What did you say? No.
I don't listen.
Do you need someone to make you? My cousin might want the car.
How much? - $483.
- Jesus! Name of the Lord in vain.
Oh, my God.
It's him.
He heard you.
It's Jesus! You see? Look! The nose, the eyes, the mouth, the beard.
It's a door, Doug.
You're wasted.
You know, I got to say, I think the Holy Spirit was actually moving through me.
Those words that I said, I don't know where they came from.
Maybe I am Him.
Capital "H.
" Who's to say? Jesus was a Jew.
Don't get that dirty.
I have you scheduled for a memorial service at 9:00 in the morning, a baby christening at 10:15, and a remarriage ceremony at 2:00 in front of the saloon.
- And I got down payments for all of them.
- Score! Let's just do what we need to do here and move on, okay? I don't want to be here forever.
Antsy pants.
I didn't get your name.
No, you didn't.
Quit moving.
You're shaking the bed.
I like it here.
You got laid.
I want to stay here for a while.
Can we stay for a while? I wanna stay.
Whore! Piece of shit slut whore! There you are! Good morning! What's going on? Hey! Cut the crap.
Did you have a good night? - Shit.
- Yeah.
Did you have a good time fucking someone else's husband, whore? - Kids.
- Daddy! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Let's go.
Wait, aren't you gonna introduce us? I'm Spot.
This is Jack.
Sound familiar? - Sorry.
- Sorry? Did you really just fucking say that to her? Kids, get in the truck.
Let's go.
Roll up the windows.
Get in the truck.
Come on.
Is this the location for the memorial service? Fuck yeah! Yeah, led by the whore of Babylon! - Husband-fucker! - Hey! - He wasn't wearing a ring! - Okay, okay, enough.
My brethren! My flock! Let's meet down the road a bit, shall we? I'll be there in a minute.
I'm not saved! I did meth today! I'm so high! I feel awful! And great! You are liars! You were supposed to clean his soul! Liars! Fakes! I want my damn money back! Give me my money! Fake! I hope he was worth it.
He got the job done.
I want to see those washers going 24l7.
This family's gonna make hash.
Lots of it.
Won't that be nice?