Weeds s07e08 Episode Script

Synthetics

Previously on "Weeds" Zoya, they're releasing me.
Make a plan for both of us.
I'm Nancy.
I'm here as a free agent.
I want weed.
You remind me of your sister.
You are on probation.
Goal one -- employment.
You start tomorrow.
Denny, Nancy.
Nancy, Denny.
Tell him what kind of weed you want.
Oops.
Doug? Dana.
Wilfred: It must be hard, Doug, seeing Dana settled.
Name's Detective Ouellette.
Come work for me.
Internship.
Fuck, yeah.
I'm opening a neighborhood bike shop that sells the Copenhagen wheel.
This is gonna be a legitimate business.
The main space is all yours.
Drug stuff in the back.
This isn't what I wanted.
I need messengers -- good-looking messengers.
Midtown, West Village, Lower East Side.
Who's that guy? Doug: That's Klein, the C.
E.
O, I built it from the ground up.
I like you.
What are you? D.
E.
A.
? FBI? S.
E.
C.
The accounting division at your firm reported illegal activity.
Are you suggesting a deal? We need files.
Proof, if you will.
Somebody's no fun today.
Nancy: Zoya.
Hello, lover.
Now I know why you never came to visit.
Slower, please.
I mean, I get the gist.
I trusted you! Shut up, Gusenitza! You have no idea what you're doing.
What are you gonna do, Osliha? Hit me? I'm not 5 years old anymore.
Could we do English? Did you just call her a donkey? Go ahead, Zoy.
Show her those ears, huh? Hee-haw, hee-haw! T-that's not nice.
How did you get out? I can make deals, too.
Go to your room, little boy, and take your shit with you! Hee-haw! Unh! H-he smelled like you.
He is not me.
What happened to our dream, Nancitchka? Huh? Vermont? I-I just needed to make a little money Who do you belong to? Nancitchka Tell me.
Who? You.
Good answer.
Modern transportation for modern times.
Two wheels good.
Four wheels bad.
Hey, want a picture of me next to the bike? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
The back door's jammed.
There's a padlock on it now.
Hmm.
Wonder who put that there.
Keeping spaces separate respectfully.
It's a warehouse back there.
It's industry secrets.
Bix Mullen.
Hi.
I'm doing a style section piece on the Copenhagen wheel.
Can I ask a couple questions just about the bike -- Uh, what are you doing? It's for the bike, the wheel.
Free publicity.
But we don't want publicity.
We don't -- we don't want more people here.
I want more people here.
Andy You're not gonna mess up my business with your -- your silly wheel.
"Silly wheel," you say.
Well Perhaps lessening our reliance on foreign oil is silly.
Hmm? We're treading lightly on the earth so future generations can enjoy our limited natural resources.
In fact, if living rationally and responsibly on this planet is silly, crown me the prince of silly, ruling cleanly and kindly over all of Sillyopolis.
That last part, I'm not so sure about, but the stuff before was very good.
Yeah.
Do you think we could get one of him by the bike? Yeah.
Stand next to the bike, Silas.
No.
One sec.
Hold on.
Come here.
I got a -- Hey, I have a great idea.
Why don't you take a break from thinking about yourself all the time and contribute to someone else's dream? Like mineRight now.
Smile for the camera.
Come on.
Model.
Live green.
Save the earth.
Good? Thank you.
With beauty comes temperament.
Where was I? Ah, carbon footprint.
Feed the world.
Yes.
So Poor baby didn't get what she came for, did she? No.
She didn't.
Why didn't you tell me she was here? I called.
It went to voicemail.
You must have been on the subway.
You didn't tell her anything, did you? She can't -- Ahh! She can't know anything about me -- where I live or work or where my family is.
I know her.
She -- Zoya: Stop it! Get away from me! She talks in her sleep.
I know.
Ahh! Ahh! Let's make this quick.
As if.
Ahh.
Leave the drugs.
Leave them.
Okay.
Good night.
Botwin! Oh, hi.
Sit down.
I want to tell you a story.
At 6:30 this morning, upon seeing your empty bed, I made a call arranging your transportation back to prison.
And I felt all right about it.
Had my coffee, read some files.
And at 7:00, I got a call back informing me that not only had my petition been denied, but that you were to be released today From this halfway house into the real world due to an arrangement they could not share.
You know, from time to time, I have a client in whom I believe I see promise.
I was wrong about you.
You're a lifer.
You will always work a system.
I don't know why.
I don't know what happened to you or who made you this way.
But I hope you understand someday everything you lost by living the way you do.
I'm very disappointed I couldn't help you.
Yeah, I don't need your help Or your judgment.
I-I'm fine with what I've done, and I'm not pretending to be anybody else.
I know who I am.
I'm gonna go clear out my stuff.
So, who are we staking out? Red pants.
Drug dealer? Teen pimp? I read about a kid who was running a prostitution ring out of the motel next to his high school.
All the hookers were girls from his French class, and the Johns were these middle-aged guys -- That's my stepson.
His graduation present.
Go and give it to him.
Oh.
Oh.
UmSure.
Sorry.
Wait.
Tell him his dad wants to talk to him.
Not his biological, piece of shit, fuckhead dad who banged his mother once, then disappeared for 14 years to find his fucking bliss in Boca Raton, but the other one Who taught him how to ride a bike wants to talk to him.
UmOkay.
And tell him he's got to open it first, and then he can come and talk to me.
All right? Okay.
Yeah.
Sure.
Um I-I'm not gonna say the other stuff.
Yeah.
That's probably a good idea.
Okay.
She put up new ones today? Mm.
Oh, yeah.
I'm looking at them right now.
She -- she looks tan.
Yeah, she'll never get tan enough for him.
Download them all and put them in the file marked "Bitch Ex-Wife.
" You see his yacht, the Miss Daisy? Oh, yeah.
It's big.
Who goes on a fishing trip with Morgan Freeman anyway? You think Dana's doing the oreo with both of them below deck? You ever do the oreo, Nance? I did a half-oreo-banana once.
I just did 26 minutes on mine.
New record.
My abs are like granite.
Hit me.
Go ahead.
Hit me.
I'm gonna go check on whit.
Okay.
Keep going on this.
Don't let the timer stop.
Will do.
Hey, Rick.
Check out my six-pack.
Wow.
That's quite a hickey.
Looks fresh.
It's a rash.
I really shouldn't wear synthetics.
I used to get rashes like that, too.
Back when I wore synthetics.
What are you working on? Uh, do I know you? Foster Grant? Um, Calvin Klein? You can call me whatever you like.
Oh.
Okay.
Um, then I'm gonna call you Chuck.
Okay.
And you shall be This handle.
He's asked me to fix it for two weeks.
I'm a bad, bad secretary, Chuck.
It's good, yes? Yeah, no.
No, this is crap.
These are backups of their bullshit documents.
I-I need the real shit -- Where the money's going, how the C.
E.
O.
filters it, how many levels down it goes, who knows what.
Most importantly, I-I'm confused about your hickeys, 'cause they seem to be of two very different mouth sizes.
The left is small, but the one on the right is quite a bit -- Yes.
Yeah, okay.
Listen.
Whoever targeted you as an informant was asleep at the wheel.
It's no shock, given the way my department is run.
I'm sorry you'll be going back to that halfway house.
Or maybe directly back to prison.
I-I forget your details.
At any rate, your sentence wasn't that long, right? What? Women usually make friends behind bars.
That's what I read.
It shouldn't be too bad.
What are you talking about?! What? I'm not going back to prison, that's what! I'll get you anything you need.
I'll go higher -- C.
E.
O.
W-whatever information you need -- personal life, bank accounts.
You have access to the C.
E.
O.
'S bank accounts? Maybe.
Where do you think this came from? So the other one? He opened wider.
He said it's okay.
What's okay? He doesn't want it right now.
Said he didn't want to offend Roy.
You know what that is? That's my dad's watch.
He gave it to me on my 18th birthday.
Y-your breath is fine.
Ahh.
But my soul is a fucking train wreck.
Psst! Chuck.
Hey, there, cherry pie.
Cherry pie? That's good.
I like that.
How you doing? Um, so, if cherry could get a pass to go out tonight, would Chuck be game? Sure.
Where would cherry want to go? Um, somewhere very expensive With, um, endangered species on the menu.
Cherry wants panda soup.
Ah.
You know what? Chuck knows just the place.
Okay.
Thanks for doing this, man.
Hey.
We have orders when you're done laying down the fresh beats.
Hi.
I don't work here.
Yeah, well, uh, you do, actually.
We saw you in the style section online.
It's a great photo of you.
Agreed, agreed.
So, listen.
From one industry professional to another, it's really stupid to have all your messengers ride the same bike and dress the same, too, though I don't think that's intentional.
Wait, who are you? Emissaries.
From Pouncy House.
What? Pouncy House Party Rentals.
That's us.
We supply everything you need for the party Except the Pouncy House.
Uh, do you mean Bouncy House? No, we pounce.
We don't bounce.
Specialize in party favors.
We're the big boy on the block with the stick.
We know that behind this door is your processing room and call center.
We know who your messengers are.
We know their territories.
We know their clients.
They used to be ours.
And they will be again very soon.
Is that a threat? Consider this a friendly cease-and-desist notice.
It's not gonna be friendly next time.
Price you pay to be in this game.
I don't usually get to do the shakedowns.
It's very exciting.
We cool? Cool.
I'm digging the beats, by the way.
Retro.
You know, you look like this guy I once saw on a billboard at the Copenhagen airport at a stopover once.
You could be his cousin.
It's crazy.
I'm Emma.
You don't have a jacket or something, do you? N-no.
Oh.
My first crocheting project.
It's alpaca yarn.
Be careful with it.
It's really something.
Thank youso much.
Questions to ask him.
Guess it's too late to back out.
I'd say so.
You have no idea the favors I had to pull to get this table.
You know, everything on the menu here is illegal.
Curried Malabar grouper croquettes.
Mm-hmm.
And pureed blue mountain water skink on a bed of mint-infused basmati rice.
Ohh.
Enjoy.
Wow.
Mmm.
Very, uhskinky.
Interesting.
Very.
Yeah.
Ah.
So, uh, how did you start vehement capital? Well, Nancy, I was the child in high school who had the computer-repair business.
I also had a lawn-mowing service.
And before that, I delivered newspapers.
If you want this shit, it's in the Fast Company article.
Just read it.
No, so, say an investor wanted -- No work talk, please.
Boyfriend? Synthetics.
I'm glad you asked me out.
I didn't ask you out.
Oh, yes, you did.
I like that you've rewritten history.
Why don't you rewrite the next two minutes so that I'm doing something more poetic than going to the ladies' room? There I was, in the bathroom, doing my hair, when all of a sudden, oh, no! So terrible.
Soclumsy.
I knew the minute I heard it cut out.
I didn't put it on tight enough.
Oh.
Happened before, and it ended up in a toilet.
He made me pay for it.
Ohh.
I am so sorry.
He's gonna have my head one of these days.
Turn around.
Lift up your arms.
Mm.
Fuck this 30-day chip.
Give him time.
Who -- asswipe? No, Billy.
Evidently he wants to be called Will now.
How did he seem? Cool.
He said to tell you he's doing the 440 now.
He's gonna get a scholarship somewhere.
He's really good.
You want another one? No, I'm okay.
Man: You got it.
So, what's your old man like, Botwin? Dead.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't know.
Y-you got a stepdad, or? Two.
One's dead, andone's dead.
Jesus.
Uh, y-your mom a serial killer, or My dad died of a heart attack when they were out jogging.
Well, I-I wouldn't have made you go onto the track, then.
Listen, if Will's dad is a fuckhead asswipe, he'll figure it out soon enough.
Just be there when he does Preferably not stinking of beer and mouthwash.
Point taken, o wise little shit.
But tell me about your stepdads.
One was killed by Armenian gangsters, and one was stabbed in prison.
Christ, where -- where the fuck you from, kid? The suburbs.
I would invite you in, but, uh, my kids are up.
You have to close the gate Oh, right.
Or the elevator won't move.
Yeah.
To pick up people who might be waiting for it Downstairs.
Hi.
Excuse me.
Hi.
Uh, Silas, this is -- You have to press both buttons at the same time.
Aha.
Good night, whoever you are.
Not even gonna ask.
So, tonight, uh, Denny the drug dealer, whose building you stole, paid me a little visit at the bike shop -- called it a friendly cease-and-desist notice.
He didn't see the back room, but -- Silas.
Whoever I am? I'm Foster Klein.
Yeah.
Your mother and I work together.
Together.
You can call me "Chuck.
" Oh, hi.
Look at this.
Your date.
Andy, brother-in-law.
You are Foster Klein.
They work together.
You can call him "Chuck.
" Chuck, pleasure.
Hey.
Um, your friend Demetri stopped by.
Him, I like.
Very cool guy.
No issues.
We can totally coexist.
So, listen.
Made a decision.
Uh, Demetri and I have been talking about it.
He agrees.
Here it is.
Number-one son is really putting a damper on my legit bike biz.
I'm not interested in being the cover anymore.
So I wanted -- I wanted to talk to you about splitting off, maybe.
Silas.
Demetri.
Chuck.
Is he cool? Oh, yeah.
Not asking you.
You know, it's been a long night, and -- brought you a present.
Whoa.
My kind of present.
Pride of the Afghan fields.
Nance, turn that down.
That is some really healthy bud.
Smells super potent.
How'd you get it here on the subway? Drakkar Noir.
It's the best for moving products.
Powerful stuff.
All right, let's sample the wares.
Here, load this guy up.
You know what? Everybody, everybody.
We have neighbors that are probably sleeping.
How much you gonna sell it for, like $150 a quarter, or Hey, Chuck.
You smoke? Sure.
All right, seems like a good time to, uh, dissipate the tensions of the day, boys.
It's a good time for many things.
Andy: Uh, who is this person? Oh, my God.
Silas! I recognize you from the pictures.
Oh! Andy, you too.
Such a pleasure to finally meet you in person.
I've heard so much.
Where's Shane? Not at home? Mnh-mnh.
My little brother is here, of course.
I knew he couldn't stay away.
Nancitchka, what are you doing? Come out.
Tell them who I am.
She's so shy.
New business partner.
And love of her life.
Although I almost had reason to doubt that, seeing that little kiss downstairs, hmm? Anyway, I'm very excited about our new enterprise.
It's not a dog kennel in Vermont, but it's a start.
I-I'm sorry.
You might want to go away.
Because I don't like you, and I have a bad habit of losing things I don't like in fires.
Mm.
You have had a very tiring day.
So get some sleep.