Welcome to Sweden (2014) s02e01 Episode Script

Flash Mob-Frieriet

1 Ahh.
Okay, I'm just going to come out and say it.
I'm going to ask Emma to marry me.
And I just wanted to stop by here to get your permission first.
Well, that's not up to me.
You have to ask Emma about that.
No, I know.
But it's tradition, so I just wanted to Where? Every Everywhere, I thought.
But, maybe they don't do it in Sweden but I don't Viveka? No, no, you don't have to involve her.
Bruce wants our permission to marry Emma.
No, I don't, I just need your permission.
It's only the fa What are you asking for? A straight yes or no? Um yes? Then it's no.
No, wait.
Wait.
I, I Listen, I realize maybe I'm not exactly what you guys had in mind for a son-in-law, but I really love your daughter.
She's smart and she's funny and she's beautiful Tall.
And tall.
God, I feel really vulnerable saying this in front of you guys right now but I I want to be together with her forever.
Aww! And make her happy every day.
And I just wanted you two to know that, because it's true.
And will always be true.
Oh-ohh! That's so nice, Bruce! But still no.
We're not living in America but we're not sorry I knew there was something That we never had we don't worry no, we're not living in America But we're not sorry, no we don't care about the world today We're not sorry for you for my baby, baby, baby, baby Ahh as you all know, we have hired a new head of marketing, and this is Diane.
Thanks olof.
I was And of course, her being here does not affect my status at all.
I'm still the boss here, so, yeah.
Okay, great, thanks.
It's great to be here.
As olof said, I am here to change this bank's image.
So, here's a question for you: What is the most important thing about the banking business? Anyone? No one? Blondie, what's your name? Emma.
Any idea? Uh, money? Money? No, not money.
It's people.
Banks are about people.
Nobody wants a bunch of grumpy guys and gals handling their money.
"Hi, my name is sven, "and I'd like to take care of your money but first, give me a second to be even more bor-ing.
" - Let's start here.
- Everybody, gather 'round here.
Come on.
This'll be fun.
All right? Get in, get a little closer.
There we go.
Okay.
Everybody say, "cream cheese!" Cream cheese.
Great! Okay.
That is step one to changing the image of this bank.
Now everybody, give me your accounts and I will tag you all.
Emma? I don't have one.
How is that even possible? What do you do with your day? I work.
Social media is an important part of work.
You've got to get your message out there.
Who do you want to be? Do you want to be cool, exciting Emma or lame and boring sven? Bruce, don't take this personally, it's not you.
It has nothing to do with you.
Although I have to admit the timing is not great since you still don't have a job, or money, or I mean, it's not like you're going to grow any taller.
Yeah, it doesn't feel personal at all.
No, no, it's just our family.
We don't do marriage.
We don't believe in it.
It doesn't mean anything to us.
Okay, well it means something to me, okay? It's what people do when they love each other.
You have my permission, Bruce.
Oh, thanks, man.
But that doesn't help me at all.
You know what, technically, it's only the father's permission that I need.
So if you could just give me a Plus, you know who's married? Adolf Hitler.
Josef fritzl.
George Clooney.
Is this really a club you want to be part of? Okay, I think you're being a little bit ridiculous about this.
Wait, George Clooney? Also, Emma doesn't believe in marriage.
She hates the concept of marriage.
Don't you know that? It's not true.
Have you ever talked to her about it? Yes! I mean, not like Not specifically, but there is Do you think you're the first guy who's ever asked her to marry him? Yeah.
Oh.
Okay, you know what, this was a mistake.
This is supposed to be just a formality.
Okay? And you know what? I'm going to ask her.
Just so you know.
Nej men Bruce? Yes! Hey, honey.
Hey.
Hey.
Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine.
Yeah? Yeah.
So, what have you been up to? Nothing special.
Any luck on the job hunt? Still a limited market for overly qualified Americans who don't speak Swedish.
Aw-w-w.
Maybe I should just go back to looking for accounting jobs.
No, we're fine, babe.
I mean, you should do whatever makes you happy.
If we had more money I could buy a little happiness.
Oh, we had an American start at work today.
She took a group photo of us and posted it online.
Because "banks are about people".
On the bank's account? Yeah.
I've never seen anything posted on there.
Well, now there is.
Oh my god, have you seen yourself on this? You look so bored.
What? There's tons of comments on here.
Hey, um, we've actually never really talked about it, so, like What do you How what is your take on marriage? What's up with all the hearts? It just means that people like the photo.
Oh, my god, this is out of control, there's so many comments.
Look, someone wrote hashtag "chairman of the board".
That's not so bad.
No, the "bored", like b-o-r-e-d.
Oh.
Listen So, um, marriage, what is the It's not a big thing in Sweden.
We have "sambo" for people who live together.
"Is she in a coma?" "Can someone pull the stick out of her ass?" What does that even mean? I know what it means.
Sorry.
Oh, my god.
Thought it was a translation problem I can't breathe.
Wow, this has been re-posted, like, 450 times already.
Is that bad? No, it's it's It's not a contest.
Okay? So you're not into weddings, or? Swedish weddings are endless and super expensive.
Why not just take the money and go to Thailand instead Why? Who's getting married? No one, I guess.
Bruce! What time is it there, midnight? No, it's 2:00 in the afternoon.
Oh, man, I can never figure that out.
Okay.
So how are you, what's going on? How is your way-too-hot-for-you girlfriend? Good, she's good.
I'm actually thinking of proposing to her.
Smart move, you know, if someone's way out of your league you got to make sure to lock that down.
Yeah, I wouldn't say she's way out of my league, but, you know.
Anyway, I don't even know if she wants to get married.
You know to be honest, it doesn't seem like marriage is such a big deal here in Sweden.
Yeah, but she's going to feel differently once she see's, a ling-a ling-a ling-a ling.
The what? That rocka-docka- docka-docka? I don't know what you're saying.
The ring, Bruce, the ring, oh my god, it's slang.
You got to keep up with that, man.
Okay, listen, let me see the ring.
Well I actually haven't bought it yet.
All right, enough about you.
You know how every city has, like, a guy? You know when you go to the city, and the guy shows you around.
Rome has a guy and he helps you cut in line at the Vatican.
Who's the guy, the guy I should talk to in Sweden? I don't know Well, maybe you should be the guy.
'Cause I got a friend, he's coming on Thursday and he's going to need a guy.
I don't think I'm qualified to be the guy.
Yeah, you are! You got to help me out Bruce.
I already promised him and now it's out of my hands.
So so you You can do it.
It's easy money, you be the guy.
No, I don't want to be the guy.
Okay it's handled then, great talking to you.
No, no, no, it's not handled! Oka-a-ay! Peace.
No! I said I Argh.
Hi-i-i.
I think we need to talk.
Um.
Did you see all the comments on that photo? Yeah, great isn't it? No, no It was all about me.
About the chairman of the bored.
Yeah, I saw that.
It was pretty funny.
It was horrible, you have to take it down! Okay.
I'll take it down.
I will take down the most popular and commented-on photo this bank has ever seen Okay, it's erased.
Thank you.
You've got to work with me here, Emma.
I'm in charge of turning this bank's image around.
It's what I do.
I've turned around the images of some horrible organizations.
"Oil lovers of America", "fathers against mothers driving" "the unibrow society".
But this, this might be the toughest one yet.
Okay, I'll take a picture for the website.
But it's going to be one that I choose, okay? Yes! Eh, gustaf Just act natural and give us a smile.
Okay, that's just creepy.
Stop it, you're freaking me out.
What? Try again.
Is that seriously your natural look? I think so.
No, okay.
You now what? Um, up on your feet.
We got to get the blood flowing.
What? Okay Let's get it shaking, let's get it shaking Oh, okay Let's get it shaking And jumping Jacks! Jumping Jacks! Jumping Jacks! Jumping Jacks! Jumping Jacks! And running man! Running man! Running man! Running man This is so hilar Hee! Okay All right, give me some laughter, give me some laughter.
Ho, ho, ho, ho Ho, ho, ho, ho Ha, ha, ha, ha Hee, hee, hee, hee All right, okay, try again.
Okay, here we go.
You look exactly the same.
I don't even know how you do that.
Oh my god, maybe I'm just naturally bored.
Ah, yes.
First of all, I have no idea what you just said.
Ahh Sorry.
Um, I'm looking to propose to my girlfriend.
Ah, congratulations.
Yes, thank you.
Um, but I'm confused.
Are these your engagement rings? Yes, this row right here.
These diamonds seem awfully small.
I'll be honest.
These are Swedish style rings.
The tradition in Sweden is to have smaller rings.
Not so big and flashy.
Okay Smaller diamonds.
Yeah okay, well, I'm American.
So I'm probably going to want a big rock.
Ah, okay.
Yeah.
I see.
I think I know what you're looking for.
Okay.
Yeah, now we're talking! Yes, these are yeah.
How much is this one right here? That's 200,000 Swedish crowns.
It's about $25,000.
It's so pretty.
Hmm So beautiful.
Yeah.
Um, you said these other ones, these smaller ones, are more traditional Swedish? Well, it's not really tradition I don't want to break tradition.
No, no, no, there are plenty of women who prefer these American-style rings these days.
Well you know what, I think we should go with these.
You think so? Yeah.
Just go really traditional.
Honey, I'm home! Hi.
Hey, how's it going? It's awful, just awful.
This "chairman of the bored" photo is everywhere.
It's gone viral.
Come on, can't be that bad.
Can't be that? Look at this.
Oh my god, you've become a meme.
What? What's that? Maime Mei Mei-me.
Meim.
I don't know, it's m-e-m-e.
I don't know how it's pronounced.
Meme.
What's a meme? That.
I have to fix this.
Meme! But, who cares! But it just I just want you to know what it Is before you I want it to look relaxed, okay? I don't know you're taking this picture.
- I'm surprised.
Okay? - Okay, sure.
So Are you did you take the picture? I'm sorry, I missed it.
Was it I Come on, focus.
I can't, I'm, I Okay, I'll count to three.
Okay.
Three.
One, two, three! It I'm I don't know, I think I hit the wrong button.
You got to be kidding me! I'm sorry.
You know Come on.
It's easier if you just act natural, okay? That's what I'm doing.
Okay, and we got it.
Okay.
Okay, natural.
More natural Way more natural, no, the opposite of that.
Yep, no, well Okay, not like you're squeezing out a fart.
Come on! There.
I got it! Look.
Oh, that's really good.
I know, it's perfect, right? Yeah.
And now it's done.
And now I need you to come with me.
Why? You'll see.
Good news! I'm moving in.
Check it out.
Some idiot left a full bottle of champagne out in the courtyard.
Let's celebrate! Is this the surprise? It's a surprise Mmm, this is good.
I think this is really expensive champagne.
Yes, it is.
Yeah, I was actually thinking of proposing to Emma tonight.
Tonight? Here? When I'm around? Bad idea, Bruce.
You know, sometimes I don't even think she's want to get married.
All women want to get married.
It's just the way you ask.
You got to go big.
You think? Yeah, I could help.
I got lots of ideas, I'm really creative.
This is my thing.
No, you know what, I don't need your help on this.
I insist, Bruce! No! For you letting me stay here, it's the least I can do.
No, I don't Bruce, let me think Is that you thinking, or? Bungee jump proposal.
A what? She's walking down the street, right? And then you bungee jump down at the right time.
You come down and yell, "will yo-o-ou" And then you bounce up "marry me-e-e?" And then bounce up and then down and then give her the ring.
Boom.
Okay, that sounds Hard.
Okay.
Okay, this is you thinking again, or? Flash mob.
A flash mob? She's walking down the street.
A bunch of people she thinks are strangers start singing and dancing, and then, bam! You appear and propose her then.
Boom.
That sounds Better, at least.
I like the surprise angle of that.
That might work, actually.
I take that as a "yes".
I call my people.
What people? You have people? So you know how there's a guy in Rome that celebrities pay to set them up and show them around? Mm-hm.
Well, Amy wants me to be the guy in Stockholm.
Oh, that's great.
I don't know, I don't think I can be the guy.
Well, it might be tough to find nice things to say about Sweden this time of year.
I mean it's so dark and depressing.
I don't think that's true.
When the light reflects off the snow, it's really beautiful.
Plus the air is really fresh and clean.
When you breathe in, it's nice And I mean, it's not as cold Okay, stop it.
You're too positive.
Actually, you sound like a great Stockholm guy.
Maybe.
Hey, um which way do you walk home from work? Through gamla Stan.
Right, and what street is that? Vãster långgatan.
Why? Oh.
And you go the same way every day, or? You know you don't have to stalk me, right? I'm willingly your girlfriend.
I know that.
"Stalk me", what But serious, you take the same way every time? Okay, everybody! When Emma's entering this street, you and you starts moving towards her.
You grab her arms when she passes you and you start singing.
At the same time, Bruce and the marching band comes around the corner.
Bruce singing, going up to Emma, and kneels and that's when I release the doves.
Wait, doves? We talked about this, I don't want any doves.
You need to go big, Bruce.
How can you go big if you have no doves? That's crazy.
Where do you even find doves? Well, it's not doves.
They were way too expensive.
I just spray-painted some pigeons white.
I don't know if this is a good idea.
Trust me, Bruce.
It has to be special.
Do you think you're the first guy ever to ask her to marry him? Yes, actually, I do.
Oh.
Target moving.
Target moving.
The chicken is in the basket.
Get ready, everybody! You got chickens too? The package is delivered.
What package? I don't know what you're saying.
Emma's coming! Okay, I am sorry.
Get ready, Emma's coming, you idiot.
No panic! Don't panic! Today's your lucky day cause someone's here Last but not least comes the man of your dreams Will you, will you marry me? Wi-i-ill yo-o-ou ma-a-arry me oh my god, what happened? What happened? Where's Emma? Did she say yes? I don't know, she's not even here! Maybe they were just trying to tell you something.
No, I am telling you, they were trying to grab me and it was really creepy and weird.
Maybe I should call the police.
No! No, no, no.
You should just Move on.
You know? Pretend like it never happened, just turn the page.
Mm.
I never asked you: What do you think about marriage? Me? Yeah.
I'm pro.
Yeah? I think it's kind of nice, actually.
So you want to get married? Yeah.
Okay.
Let's get married, then.
Okay.
I can't wait to get one of these big, fat American diamond rings.
Finally having an American boyfriend pays off.
Yeah.
Are you expecting someone, or? No.
Okay.
Hey! Heard you were the guy.
Are you sure you don't want me to post this picture? I think you look really beautiful, here.
Aw, that's really sweet.
But, you know what, I don't think I'm a good match for social media.
Maybe I should just quit while I'm way behind.
Okay, suit yourself.
Thank you.
Uh, table for two? Oh, we're fully booked tonight.
Really? Sorry.
Aw Oh my god, it's you! Chairman of the bored.
You know what, I think we can find you a table, okay? - Daniel! - Yeah.
Come here.
Look at this.
You see who it is? Yeah.
Please, do your face again.
We're not living in America