Wellington Paranormal (2018) s02e01 Episode Script

Taniwha

All right, listen up.
We've got a little bit more info on the stolen Mazda.
Suspect was described by witnesses as 'suspicious'.
So not a lot to go on there, but I want you all on it.
Except for you, Minogue and O'Leary; I want you to investigate the 10 recent missing persons cases.
Sorry, Sarge, so, what, just those guys are on the missing persons, and the rest of us are on the missing Mazda? Does feel a bit uneven, doesn't it? All right, dismissed.
Thank you.
Not you, Minogue.
Not you, O'Leary.
Right.
This case is big.
It's probably the biggest case we've ever seen.
OK.
- - Five, eight, six Are you going into the secret office, Sergeant? What? That information is on a need-to-know basis, Parker.
Do you need to know? I'd like to know.
Well, it's not a like-to-know basis; it's a need-to-know basis, Parker.
Well, I'd like to need to know.
You don't actually have clearance.
You could've had clearance, Parker.
I asked you to come to the office one time, but you didn't.
If you ever needed, like, a volunteer for any of the things that you guys do, I'd be keen.
Well, I'll think about it.
Really? Yes.
Why don't you go and solve one of those murders or something? Murders? Yes, murders.
OK, and now I need to start this PIN code again.
Thank you.
This is a list of local people who've all gone missing in the past month, all around the coast.
Now, this part is top secret.
One of the missing persons is close to a government official.
Prime Minister's fiance? Correct.
Good police work.
It says 'the Prime Minister's fiance' right here.
Put two and two together.
That- Yeah.
There you go.
At least 10 fishermen and fisherwomen have all gone missing in the past week alone.
Fish-men and fish-women? OK, now you're undoing your good police work.
Yeah,nah- Fish-er-men.
Fish-er.
.
That's not as scary.
And get this - even though these have all occurred in separate incidences, no one saw what took them.
Well, I mean, unless people did see what took them, and then they got taken as well.
Well That's- That's spooky.
Don't say that.
Yeah.
Well, it's logical, though, isn't it? I mean, it's- I don't like the sound of that.
Also, these disappearances, they've all occurred in the same areas as unusually localised seismic events.
So, do you have a theory about what you think it might be? I can't tell you that.
But you're smart officers; you probably already figured out that when I said, 'I can't tell you that,' I meant, 'Yes, I have a theory.
' God, I've never been in the back of a police car before.
It's weird.
Yes.
It's quite an intimidating and demoralising experience, isn't it, Parker? Yeah, yeah.
It's actually quite humbling.
Sir, I advise you to keep your thoughts to yourself until you've got a lawyer present.
Yeah, shut it.
Sorry, sir.
That was, Sorry, Sarge.
Force of habit.
We've normally got criminals in there.
Yeah.
OK' guys.
'Scuse me.
Just get this one over here.
Thanks, Parker.
All right.
These disappearances have occurred near the mouth of Wellington Harbour, here, with each occurrence being accompanied by a seismic event - probably the movement of the beast under the water.
Sorry, Sarge, can you just repeat the last bit? Seismic event? No, no, the bit after that.
No, no, no.
You said 'beast'.
I heard 'beast'.
- Did I? I'm pretty sure you said 'beast'.
- He said 'beast'.
I don't think I meant to.
D'you think it could be sirens, Sarge? What? Sirens? Yeah.
Copy that.
- - No.
Cut the sirens, please.
They're off.
Cut- Thank you.
Sirens are, beautiful maidens that lure sailors to their doom with their siren song.
Sing.
Yeah, with their singing.
And this is what they sound like.
# Come to my rocks # in your boat.
# Come to my beauty.
# Be with me.
# So, we're here at Tapu Point, one of two locations where the missing persons were last known to be.
Officer Parker and Sergeant Maaka are searching one end of the beach, and we're here searching the other.
What? Hey, look, I've noticed you're doing some diving round here.
Have you noticed anything strange in the area? Nah.
Nothin'.
I mean, obviously, you know, you spend a bit of time on this beach.
You must know about fishing.
Nah.
Dunno what you're talking about.
You know about diving? Nah.
Where'd you get these shellfish? Found 'em.
Did ya?.
What are you doing here, then? I was just standin' out here sunbathing.
I just don't feel like you're cooperating with us, mate, and we're worried about your safety.
There has been a monster on this beach A little bit less than we were when we first started talking.
Bullshit.
A monster on this beach We don't know it's a monster.
that's been killing fishermen.
I did hear someone say that, you know, there was a monster out there on Thursday, but, um- Did you? And how did they report that to you? 'Aargh, there's a monster!' Right, and, so- D'you think that could be related? I think probably it is.
Did you go and investigate, see what was going on? Nah.
OK, so who do you think said that? I dunno.
So What did they say, again? Nothing.
Sorry, guys.
Just can't help ya.
Obviously, he wasn't actually cooperative at all.
In fact, he was quite the opposite of that.
.
It's not uncommon to have conflicting eyewitness reports, but very odd for those conflicting eyewitness reports to come from exactly the same person.
OK, guys, here's the sitrep.
We've just had a sighting in Wellington Harbour of a unidentified swimming object.
I've just had a word to the, to the Department, and they've given us clearance to use the police launch to help us in our investigations.
Score.
I've never been on a boat before.
Not you, Parker.
You gotta stay right here, on stakeout.
What? Yeah.
Minogue and O'Leary are going to accompany me.
I think it'll be pretty dangerous for him to be on his own.
Could be pretty dangerous for him out on the boat as well.
Really? Speaking of which - did you remember to bring your sleeping bag, like I told you? Well, yeah, but I thought we were just having a sleepover.
I didn't know there was gonna be, like, a monster.
Not to worry.
I'm sure we can rig up some sort of pre-warning system for you.
OK, Parker, I've rigged this here cup of Milo with these sensors, so what you're looking for is concentric circles in a pattern, sort of like the Jurassic Park movie.
So, do I drink it, or? No? No, not at all.
Not at all.
No.
This should give you fair warning of any large prehistoric advancing creatures that are in the area.
It's the difference between life and a very grisly, brutal, savage and prolonged death.
Right.
We'd better get a wriggle on.
All right, Parker, Good luck, Parker.
good luck.
Sure he's gonna be all right, Sarge? Yep.
Parker is more than competent.
Besides, from what we know about the disappearances, this is a water-based creature; there's been no evidence to suggest that it will come on to land.
Watch your step, O'Leary.
Gidday.
- Ahoy! - Captain.
The Maritime Unit is an important part of New Zealand Police Force, and they've been kind enough to help us in our search for the missing fisher-people.
Yeah, this is Captain Quinn.
Gidday, how you going? You all right? He's in charge of the vessel.
Must have some really great stories.
Stories? You bet I do.
Like what happened to your eye? Bit personal.
Nah, it's a great - you'll like this - great story.
Um, I've got pink-eye.
Some faecal matter in there, and You must have a great story behind your hand.
You noticed this, did ya? Yeah, well, it's a story not many people will believe.
Let me tell you about that.
You’ll like this.
InSinkErator.
Do you know how to read one of those, Sarge? Yes.
So what I'm currently doing is conducting a sonar sweep of the area.
Captain, what would you say is this large object here? That's the ocean.
Yeah, I'm just here on a stakeout.
Bit of surveillance.
I don't know exactly what I'm meant to do, but I know it's really important.
This is proof that I can work independently and that I can be entrusted with work by myself.
I feel, from here, if I do well, Sarge will really respect me.
I think I might just grab some sleep now, so do you mind just watching the early detection system? And I'll just go to sleep.
Wake me if you see anything.
And then she hears this, 'Thud, 'thud, thud,' and he's hitting the roof of her car with her boyfriend's head.
And when she gets home, she finds a hook hand embedded Whoa.
in the bumper of her car.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
That's actually quite insensitive to Captain Quinn.
Yeah, there's some gross generalisations about people with prosthetics, actually.
And then they got the hook back to the man, and he was extremely grateful, because he is a very nice man.
Actually, I've got a story.
I believe it's quite pertinent to this area.
It's a tale of two taniwha.
In the time before Kupe, two taniwha, who were brothers named Ngake and Whataitai, lived in Te Whanganui-a-Tara when it was only a lake.
But Ngake was he was discontent, and so he broke free of Te Whanganui-a-Tara.
But his brother grew lonely, and so he tried to follow Ngake, but it was too late.
By the time the tide had fallen, Whataitai found himself stranded, and so his body turned to stone.
And that landmass is known as Hataitai, one of the most sought-after suburbs in all of Wellington.
It is, isn't it? It's bloody expensive now, isn't it? Yeah.
It is.
It's close to town - handy.
Well, it is.
There's an amazing bakery there - the Hataitai The Hataitai Bakery.
Hot Bread Shop.
Yeah, the sausie rolls! - Yeah, man.
24 hours in the weekend.
- Is it? Yeah.
Sarge, I mean, do you think a taniwha's responsible for these missing persons? Well, if only it was a taniwha.
No, I'm afraid I don't believe in taniwha.
I've seen some things.
I knew it.
Saw a dolphin the other day.
Another time, I was standing on the stern, and a rogue piece of faecal matter just floated past.
Something on the sonar! Look, there's a huge dark shape! What? No, hang on.
That could be my eye patch, actually.
Is it-? No, look! Yeah, there's a huge dark shape! There's some kind of aquatic creature.
My God.
It's It's real.
This is really exciting.
This is the- I can't imagine anything more exciting - than what's happening on this screen right now.
- - Boy.
- - Boy, it's a taniwha.
Think it's heading back to land, actually.
It's heading towards Parker's encampment! So, we've just got off the boat, and we're here to make sure that Parker's OK.
A bit too late.
It's taken Parker.
And the camera crew.
We didn't know them very well, so It appears that something quite untoward has happened to Officer Parker.
He was on a need-to-know basis, and, um, maybe he did need to know a bit more.
Sarge! I think you should come and look at this! My God.
I was wrong.
This thing is amphibious, and it's massive.
Poor Parker.
He's over there! No, Minogue! Minogue, do not enter that water with that vest and that hat on! Remove it right now.
Yeah, just- Can I borrow your waders? I've got them on.
Hurry up! I know you've got them on, but it'd be better for me- Maybe you go in, cos then you'll stay dry.
No, Minogue.
Time is of the essence.
Get in there right now! Taser! The Taser! My week with the Taser! You'll get electrocuted! Get that Taser! Release that Taser! Not in your mouth! Not in your mouth! Release that Taser right now! Obviously, this is a very serious situation we've got here.
There's someone in obvious danger, and Minogue has gone above and beyond the call of duty to attempt a rescue.
It's cold! Get him, Minogue! Grab him! Get back in there! Don't panic, Minogue.
Just stay calm! Pull him in! It's an arm! It's an arm! It's only an arm.
That's not good.
Help! Minogue, do you want a hand? You probably couldn't pick it up, but I was panicking a little bit there.
Um, it's a first time for me.
Yes.
But moving forward, obviously, if you have actually lost an arm, we'd like to hear from you.
Obviously, we want to return this arm to its its rightful owner.
Yeah.
Come on down to the station, and we may be prepared to swap the arm, for information about what's occurred on the beach today.
We probably- We'll just give you the arm if it's your arm.
If you can prove it's your arm.
Yeah, that couldn't be Parker.
Nope.
No, he wouldn't get a tattoo.
He had a really low threshold for pain.
As for this guy, whoever he is, that's quite a way to go - eaten by a taniwha.
It's a poetic death.
It's a Warrior's death.
- Sarge.
Sorry.
You finished? - Yeah.
I just was wondering if maybe we should, um, follow these big enormous animal tracks that are behind us on the beach.
That's a great idea.
That's What's that over there? Ew.
I don't wanna go in there.
Kia tere! Let's go.
Well, I want the Taser back.
You gave it to me.
To hold on to.
I'm just looking after it.
You were.
Hurry up! Stay close, guys? Just Not too close.
Guys.
The missing people - they're in the cave walls.
Hang on a minute.
They're all here, Sarge - except for Parker.
Parker.
- Ew! - - She's alive! They're They're alive.
Hello.
We've met before.
Hi.
How's it going? Yeah.
Fine.
Could you tell me what's happened here? No.
No idea.
Really? I'd love to help you, but I can't.
If I got stuck in the wall of a cave, I think I'd remember how I got there, mate.
Yeah, I'm sorry - I can't help you.
I'm stumped.
Can't or won't? Well, what d'you expect me to do? Permission to treat him as a hostile witness, O'Leary? Not yet, not yet, not yet.
Guys, we need to free these people - our first priority being the Prime Minister's fiance.
She's too good for you.
No, not him, Minogue.
Him.
That's a better match.
It's Clarke, isn't it? Yeah.
Clarke, what happened here? Can you tell us? It was a taniwha.
I think it was storing us for food.
So, like this? Yeah.
Yeah, just like that.
It's a classic taniwha.
I knew it was real.
Taniwha is a guardian of the ocean.
The fishing activity in this area would have summoned it to protect the waters of Tapu Point.
Bullshit.
Shh! Hey! I've heard enough out of you, mate.
We should get a move on, get these people outta here - starting with Clarke.
Yep.
I'd like to request that this guy would get out last.
Absolutely.
Pick on the small man.
We can't even tell how big you are, mate.
You're all wrapped up in seaweed.
Hey, 'scuse me, where's my arm? Yeah, don't worry about that, sir.
We've got it in a chillybin.
What?! I like your tattoo.
Where'd you get that done? I got it from a dodgy place on Cuba Mall.
Yeah.
Might have to get it redone, though.
I'd get it done on the other arm if I was you.
That's a good idea.
- Taniwha! - - Taniwha! It's bullshit.
- - Move, move! My God.
We're gonna We're gonna need a bigger chillybin.
Hey.
Wait.
There's tremors moving up the coast towards Oriental Bay! This thing could endanger precious Wellingtonian lives! Let's go, guys.
Let's go! What about the leg, Sarge? yeah, yeah.
Go, go, go, go.
Get it.
Go, go, go.
- Quinn, are you picking us up on your sonar? Over.
- Yeah, I'm right in the middle of it.
What do you mean, 'right in the middle of it'? It's heading straight towards the city! Did you hear that? It's heading towards the city.
Right there.
- Holy-! OK.
That's massive.
- Quiet, please, sir.
Excuse me.
We're working at present.
There is too much noise in the car.
Anything you say will be used against you in a court of law.
Sorry, Minogue.
I'm clearing this beach.
We need to make a perimeter.
I need everyone to get back now! it's already pretty clear, Sarge.
- - Copy that.
Quinn.
Do you have eyes on the beast? Over.
Sorry, Sarge.
It's gone dead.
Over.
Copy that.
All right.
I think now would be a good moment to honour Parker's memory.
You know, what I will remember most about Parker is he was so punctual.
I mean, he always He tried his best, didn't he? Yes, he did.
He was scared of criminals.
He had got a- Had a real fear of criminals.
Haere ra, Parker.
Haere ra.
What are you guys up to? Honouring Officer Parker's memory.
Aue! I've probably got a few memories that I can share, if that's helpful.
Like the time I put a marble up my nose and it got stuck, and I was, like, 'Why did I do this to myself again?' Where have you been, Parker? It was getting so cold on that beach, and, like, the tide was coming up, so I went and hung out with my mum.
Great.
What happened to your film crew? They got eaten by the taniwha - but to be honest, I'm not that sad about it, cos I didn't really know I didn't know them personally.
Yeah, I don't even know their names.
Parker?! You're still alive! Yeah.
Sarge, there's something weird going on.
There's a second signal coming from the other side of the harbour.
What? Two signals? There There's two of them? My God, look.
It's the brothers! Aue! Taniwha! They're gonna fight like Godzillas.
They're definitely fighting.
Should we call the air force? No, no, don't do that.
Don't do that.
They'll get destroyed.
Quinn! I need you to take all of the boats out of the harbour right now! They've all gone.
I'm going home.
Over.
One of them's growing a second neck.
I don't think that's a neck.
- OK.
- No, they're not fighting.
They're not brothers.
I think one of them's maybe female.
Or female-identifying.
- - OK.
OK, let's give them some privacy, guys.
So, as it turns out, these are not the taniwha brothers of legend at all.
- They are actually a taniwha mating couple - in heat.
And as we can see here, behind us, they, Too much.
They are currently still mating, as we can see.
They've been mating now for two hours and 45 minutes, so this is a testament to the staying power, the stamina, of the mighty taniwha.
So, we came out here to try to stop two monsters, or taniwha from attacking the city of Wellington.
Luckily for us and for Wellington, that didn't actually eventuate.
No.
What we've found instead is what can only be described as a marathon love-making session.
Quite romantic.
Yeah, very romantic, actually.
It's something to behold.
- We've been beholding it for some time.
- Um I don't know how much longer we're gonna have to behold it.
She's beholdin' it in her She'd be holdin' it.
I wouldn't be holdin' it.
She'd be holdin' it.
I don't wanna hold it.
What are you doing, Parker? Parker! Get off the beach! Give them some privacy.
Go! Disturbing nature!