What I Like About You (2002) s01e22 Episode Script

The Talk

World War II was a conflict between two coalitions of states.
Who was in the axis powers? Germany, Japan, uh Rhymes with "Bitaly.
" Italy! Yes! You are a genius! You know, Henry, if, um, two people are dating, and one of them does something great, like knows that "Italy" rhymes with "Bitaly," it's okay to kiss them.
But I want you to realize that I understand no means no.
Is anyone here saying no? No.
Uh, that one doesn't count.
Okay, how about we try it again? All right, okay, you ask me a question, and if I get it right, then someone will congratulate the other one somewhere.
Okay.
In 1942, what was 3 plus 3? It was so 6! Yes! [ knock on door .]
Aah! Hey.
You're home.
Yeah.
You too.
Yeah.
Everything okay? Yeah.
We were just studying.
And respecting each other.
I'll call you.
Okay.
Thank you for everything.
You're welcome.
See you.
Ahem.
What? I have to go to a meeting, but maybe you and I should have dinner tonight.
No, I'm supposed to meet Henry.
No, I think we need to talk.
About what? You, Henry, having your door removed.
Hey! Uh-huh What I like about you You really know how to dance When you go up, down, jump around Talk about true romance Yeah Keep on whispering in my ear Tell me all the things that I wanna hear 'Cause it's true What I like That's what I like about you What I like That's what I like about you What I like about you That's what I like about you What I like about you Hey! [ knock on door .]
Hey! Hey.
You are never gonna guess what's playing tonight at the Rialto.
What? "Snake in the Eagle's Shadow.
" Jackie Chan.
- Whaa! - Whaa! Whaa! Whaa! Whaa! Aah! - So you're coming with me, right? - No, I can't.
I promised Henry I'd see it with him this weekend.
What? Well, you can come with us.
Well, I don't want to come with you.
I want it to be just you and me.
Come on, Holly, ever since I started going out with Jill, and you started going out with Henry, we never see each other anymore.
- That's not true.
- It is true.
It's like we're not even friends these days.
I'm sorry.
You're right.
I mean, I want to hang out with you.
I just can't do it tonight.
I'm having dinner with Val.
I think she wants to have a sex talk.
Ooh, about what? Sex! Well, why don't you guys come down to the restaurant? I get off at 8:00.
We can do the movie thing after.
I can't bring Val to the restaurant with Jeff there.
Don't worry about it.
He's off tonight.
Actually, afterwards I'm supposed to meet Henry.
Well, can't you call him and tell him you can't make it tonight? He'll understand.
Come on, I'm not going out with Jill.
Okay, yeah.
Definitely.
I'll call him.
Great.
See you tonight.
Okay.
Hey, could you do me a favor? While I'm having dinner with Val, can you crank the music way up? Why? Maybe it'll block out the sound of Val saying the word "pubis.
" So So? I like the way they melt the fudge.
Yeah, me too.
I like fudge.
Fudge is good.
So, you and Henry Henry likes fudge.
Okay, then I guess this whole ugly sex talk is over.
Holly, sex is not ugly.
In fact, it's beautiful when you're really, truly, completely 40.
How old were you your first time? Eight years older than you are right now.
So you were 24? Uh-huh.
Ahem.
Yeah, and I was in a really serious committed relationship.
I was very mature, very responsible, and, uh, very prepared.
Do you know what I mean when I say prepared? Waxed? Yes, I know what prepared means -- condoms, the pill, diaphragm.
Okay -- [ babbles .]
um, look, Holly Ahem.
The way things are going with you and Henry, eventually you're going to start having certain feelings, you know? Certain desires, certain urges.
Strong ones.
Stronger than my urge to leave? You really have to be emotionally ready.
People make love to express their deepest, most intimate feelings.
Sex is not a game.
It is a magical, mystical special connection.
Got it.
Can I go now? Almost.
Um, look, the reason I wanted to talk to you is this afternoon when I came home and you and Henry were alone in your bedroom Yeah? That made me a little uncomfortable.
Why? We weren't doing anything.
I know.
I believe you.
I do.
I would just be more comfortable if from now on I'm there when you have Henry over, okay? Why? Don't you trust me? No, I do.
I trust you.
So is it Henry? He's so respectful, I practically have to give him permission to kiss me.
I would just rather I be there from now on, okay? Oh, my -- fine.
[ Val .]
: Holly -- [ Gary .]
: Where you going? I have to go.
I'll meet you at the movie.
Hey, everything okay? Yeah, it's fine.
Can I just get the check, please, Gary? Okay.
Um, you know what? I'll take care of the check.
You go ahead and go out the back way.
Yeah, yeah, go out the back way, back way.
What? Why? Oh.
I'm sorry.
He wasn't supposed to be here tonight, I swear.
Uh-oh, here he comes.
You want me to tell him we're dating? Uh, no.
Just do me a favor.
Get rid of this so he doesn't know I ate a whole damn fudge cake.
- Hi! - Hi.
Oh, well, it's great to see you.
What are you doing here? Oh, I just had dinner with Holly.
I finally found time.
I've been so busy.
Busy, busy, busy.
So, how've you been? Busy.
Busy, busy, busy.
Speaking of busy Oh, yeah.
It's just our second date.
Ah.
She seems nice.
She has a nice belly.
Nice and flat.
Like a pancake.
Which I'm sure she never eats.
Actually, she could pretty much eat anything she wants and never even -- she's dumb.
So, you look great.
Thanks.
No, really.
You look great.
You lookalso great.
I like your hair.
It's cute.
It's all up.
It used to be all flat like your girlfriend's belly.
You should probably get back to your date.
- What? - Dummy.
Oh, right.
Well, it was really nice to see you again.
Yeah, you too.
You okay? Yeah.
You know.
Well, hey, if it makes you feel any better, I was over there checking out Jeff's date at the bar.
Now, either she's been drinking chocolate milk, or somebody's got a little moustache.
Unbelievable! I can't believe her! I mean, like, what? I'm in the apartment alone with my boyfriend.
I can't control myself? "Oh, look, Henry, no one's home.
Take me.
" And I mean, Henry, of all people? He is so nice and so respectful and so adorable, you know? Yeah.
Look, Holly, I feel like I owe you an apology.
For what? Well, I kind of feel like I guilted you into coming tonight.
No, you didn't.
I wanted to come.
We should definitely make time for each other.
Yeah, but I want you to know that, um, if your phone rang right now, and if it was Henry saying that he would love to see you, I'd completely understand, just like you would understand -- There you are.
Oh, my God, look at that.
There's Jill.
Hey, babe.
Can you believe that? Jill's here.
Good old Jill.
Hey.
I'm gonna go get something to drink.
Oh, no, no.
I'll get it.
How about you, Holly? You want anything? My treat.
You can have anything you want.
I've got $100.
No, no.
Let me go.
I'll be right back.
Okay, don't take too long now with your cute self.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! I'm a weak man.
Unbelievable.
Oh! What are you doing home? Is the movie over already? What are you doing home? Jill showed up, and I didn't really feel like sticking around, so I left early.
Oh, well, I'm just gonna go finish my shower.
That was just taking a little break.
Ha ha.
[ shower turns off .]
The shower just shut off.
Well, II guess it's taking a little break, too.
[ clears throat .]
Hey, sweetie, do you -- oh.
So, what's going on? Are you guys getting back together? Who? Oh.
Uh, no.
[ clears throat .]
Huh.
So you had a special connection, but you're not in a meaningful relationship? I'm baffled.
Okay.
Okay then.
I just got off the phone with the plumber.
He said my shower should be fixed tomorrow by noon, soVal, thanks again for letting me use your shower -- that being the reason I was here.
Good day.
Okay, I should explain this to you.
Yes, please explain.
I'd love to hear it.
What happened here is complicated.
Uh-huh.
And wellahem.
All right.
You remember when you were 4, and you had that little blanky? Oh, this is gonna be good.
You and blanky spent a lot of time together.
But then it came time for the two of you to go your separate ways.
You remember how upset that made you? Remember how you were so upset that one night that we let you and blanky sleep together one last time to say goodbye? Yeah.
But why did you have sex with Jeff? I don't know! I don't know.
Okay, looking back, it was probably a mistake.
Probably? You said that sex isn't a game.
You said it was a magical mystery tour or something, and then you do this! This is different, okay? You just wouldn't understand.
I wouldn't understand? No, I understand.
Your have one set of rules for me, and another one for yourself.
No, Holly, I don't.
Yes! I mean, I'm not allowed to have my boyfriend over here unless you're home? I mean, you're the one who needs the babysitter.
Okay, I don't have to listen to this.
I had to listen to you, and it turns out that you didn't mean a word you said.
No, I meant every word of it.
Oh, my God.
You are such a hypocrite! - No, I'm not! - Yes, you are! No! I just -- I said one thing, and I did another.
I was being silly! Ha ha.
What? I don't have to explain myself to you.
Oh, my God! This is such crap! Holly -- The next time that you want to justify your little urges, you leave blanky out of it! [ knock on door .]
Hey.
Hey.
Uh, thanks for coming over.
Yeah.
Are you okay? What's wrong? Everything.
Last night, you and me I thought you enjoyed that.
I did.
A lot.
It was like the best ever.
Well, I did bring my "A" game.
Yeah, you did.
But then Holly came home, and I am such a horrible role model.
You are not.
You have no idea.
Yesterday I lectured Holly about how you should never have sex unless you're in a meaningful relationship, and then I went and well, you know the rest.
You didn't do anything you should be ashamed of.
Well, except for that one thing.
What? Oh, that? Look, it's not like I'm some guy you just pulled off the street.
I know.
But last night, as great as it was, it can never happen again.
I mean, I can't keep giving Holly mixed messages.
I can't keep giving myself mixed messages.
Your feelings about marriage haven't changed, have they? No.
Neither have mine.
So I guess the best thing for us to do would be for us to just not see each other anymore until we can do it withoutdoing it.
Look, if you ever need anything -- you, Holly -- I know, I know.
Okay.
Okay.
Bye.
Bye.
Since we didn't know it was the last time, do you think maybe we could do it once more so our bodies could officially say goodbye? So then I slammed the door all dramatic, and I haven't talked to her since.
Hey, are you gonna eat the last fry? Uhno, you take it.
Oh, no, you.
No, you.
Okay, well, it's just gonna sit there as a symbol of our consideration for each other.
Look, I know you're mad at your sister, but Jeff and Val loved each other for a long time, and feelings like that don't just disappear over night.
Seriously I mean, I know that if we broke up, how hard it would be for me to get over my feelings for you.
Oh, that's twice tonight you're being all wise and stuff.
By "stuff," do you mean crazy, sexy, cool? Yeah.
I like it when you're all confident and sure of yourself.
It makes -- Stop right there.
Come with me.
Where are we going? Don't ask questions.
I'm taking charge.
Okay! Okay.
Um I wanted to be alone with you.
I know this isn't the most romantic place, but -- but it is the place we met.
How am I doing? You liking this little take-charge thing? I'm loving it.
When I first met you, when I came out of that stall and saw you standing here so angry at your sister -- God, you're angry at your sister a lot.
Can we leave her out of it? I'm sorry.
It's just when I talk about it, it makes me sound wise, and I know you like it when I'm wise.
I like a lot about you, Henry.
And I like a lot about you.
In fact, I like you so much that it's been hard for me to express myself, because I don't want to say or do the wrong thing.
I really wanted to kiss you, you know, where you don't kiss me first, and I kind of surprise you.
A really strong, masculine, sexy, take-charge kind of kiss where I just look into your eyes and then -- Come on, I wanted to do it! I'm sorry.
It's just you were being so explainy, and I was standing here for -- I liked that.
Me too.
Come on.
Next time when we kiss, can we do it in a place that smells less like pee? - Hey.
- Hey.
Where have you been? Dinner with Henry.
We had a magical, mystical urge to eat.
Come here.
I want to talk to you.
I'm so sorry.
I was trying so hard to do the right thing that I ended up doing the complete wrong things.
No.
You didn't do anything wrong.
I mean, I understand what happened.
You and Jeff -- I mean, you can't expect to get over your feelings that fast.
But I want you to know what happened last night, it's never gonna happen again.
Well, don't not do it for my sake.
I mean, it's really none of my business.
You were right.
It was hypocritical.
And I do trust you -- and Henry -- even when I'm not home.
Thank you.
I want you to know that I am never gonna do anything with any guy until I'm ready.
And, Val I think I'm ready.
[ laughing .]
I'm kidding.
Yeah, that's funny.
Seriously, when I am really ready, I'm going to be dying to tell you.
Swear? Swear.
Okay, good.
Do you love me again? Yes! Now can I ask you a question? Mm-hmm.
Were you really 24 your first time? No.
I knew it! I've never done it.

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