What I Like About You (2002) s02e20 Episode Script
Rollin' in It
You really know how to dance When you go up, down, jump around Talk about true romance Yeah Keep on whispering in my ear Tell me all the things that I wanna hear 'Cause it's true What I like That's what I like about you What I like That's what I like about you What I like about you That's what I like about you What I like about you That's what I like about you What I like about you That's what I like about you What I like about you That's what I like about Hey Uh-huh Uh-huh That's what I like about you You know what I've never seen? Porn.
I was just thinking about renting a ton of porn.
You're not renting any porn.
In two days, I can.
I'll be 18.
I can rent porn, I can buy porn, I can be in porn.
Trust me, you don't want to be in a porn.
The floors are filthy.
I wasn't in one.
I rented a documentary about the making of.
So, the nakeds were all running around the kitchen during their breaks and bending down to the fridge and getting yogurt and raisins and stuff.
Ew.
Okay, well, I'm over porn.
But there's, like, a million other things I can do.
I know.
When I was 18, I went completely wild.
I was the biggest virgin.
Okay, well, it's not so much what you can do, but how you feel.
I've always felt like a kid, and I finally feel like an adult.
[ gasps .]
Oh, goody, goody, is that today's mail? Did Nana's birthday card come? Oh, it did! It came! I'm rich! I love my birthday! I love Nana! Look.
Your grandmother sent you $2,000 for your birthday? She did the same thing for me on my 18th birthday.
Oh, my God.
My grandmother died, and all I got was her old diabetic candy.
So, what are you going to do with it? How much is a Corvette? - I have a suggestion.
- What? Why don't you put it in the bank? No.
No, no, no, no.
See, those were not Nana's instructions.
You see -- "Dear, Holly, "do not put this money in the bank like your sister did.
She's not fun.
Love, Nana.
" Aww This has nothing to do with being fun, all right? It's about self-control.
It's about being an adult.
And don't you think I would love to go out and blow 2,000 bucks on something frivolous? - No.
- No.
Let me tell you something.
A few doors down from Dean & Deluca's, there is this cute boutique, and in the window is the most gorgeous Marc Jacobs bag I have ever seen.
Every time I pass by that store, I walk in, I touch it, I walk out.
I do the same thing to the coffee guy at Dean & Deluca's.
The point is, I mean, I would love to go out and blow 2,000 bucks on something, but I have self-control.
It's called being an adult.
Yeah, well, it's my money.
Yes, I know, it's your money, and I'm not going to tell you what to do.
You're going to be 18 soon, and this is your choice what you want to do with it.
Well, I choose to spend it.
Well, if that's your choice, it's the wrong one.
And you're not going to be 18 until Saturday and until then, I am the boss of you, and that money's going into the bank.
Okay, fine, I'll put it in the dumb boring bank, and I'll live a very dull, responsible, boring life.
Thatagirl.
Whee! Okay, okay, my turn.
Gary, reset the money! - What is this? - Money! You want a turn? Gary can reset it.
I thought you took the check to the bank.
I did, and look what they gave me in return! You cashed it? What were you thinking? No, I wasn't thinking.
I was high on the green.
Okay, well, gather it up.
We are taking this back to the bank.
No, we're not.
I am two days away from being an adult, and I have already made my adult decision about what I am going to do with my money.
Ok, what is that adult decision? I'm going to throw myself a kick-ass birthday party in one of them fancy suites at the Plaza! - The Plaza? - Uh-huh.
The Plaza Hotel.
Oh, yeah.
That's adult, Holly.
Very adult.
Okay, you know what? From one adult to another, you're giving me a lot of attitude.
So why don't we just have an adult discussion about what's really bothering you? You mean the fact that you want to throw $2,000 away at the Plaza Hotel, or that you're rolling around like a pig in its own poopy? You know what? You cannot stand the fact that you're not going to be able to control me anymore! Control you? Holly, that is not what this is about.
For 17 years, I've been your little puppet.
And in two days, we're going to cut the strings.
Okay, this is not about control.
This is about common sense.
Holly, we're talking about $2,000.
I'm just trying to make -- would you stop doing that? - Are we done? - Yes.
Okay! You know what? Fine.
Throw your money away.
I don't care.
And you know what? I'll tell you this.
I am not coming to your irresponsible party.
Oh, my God, look at all that money.
Oh, I've always wanted to roll around in a big wad of cash.
So she is going to blow the entire $2,000 on a party at some stupid hotel.
Well, I wouldn't call it a "stupid hotel.
" It's the Plaza.
It's one of the most romantic places on earth.
I mean, I've heard some people even get married there.
Ha ha ha.
Not us.
We like small and intimate.
So, uh, have you guys started thinking about where you want to get married? - Oh, I have.
- I have, too.
- Oh, you go first.
- No, you go.
Okay, all right, well, since we both like small and intimate, I was thinking my parents' backyard.
Ha ha ha ha! Oh, my God, it's like you're reading my mind.
Oh, this is going to mean so much to my parents, and wait until you see their backyard.
There are tons of trees.
Ooh, trees.
That's good for shade.
Yeah, and there's this big path where all the dogs run loose, and I can just see you coming up that path right next to the bird baths Bird baths.
That's good for something.
Yeah, yeah, my mom's got this thing for bird baths.
They're all over.
Well, there's just one problem, though.
Sometimes, you can see the neighbor's donkey.
A jackass at my wedding? No, that is something that no one ever does.
Isn't she fantastic? Oh, she is the best! Okay, so bring it on! Who wants to go first? I do.
Here, happy birthday.
Oh, goody.
Thank you.
Aw from my best friend Tina -- a plug.
It's a voltage converter for your trip to Paris If you get the internship -- for your blow dryer and stuff.
- Thank you, but what if I don't get accepted? - You will.
Here, I got you a little something for Paris, too.
Disposable razors.
That's for here.
They don't know nothing about that in Paris.
Thank you.
This is really sweet.
Okay, my turn.
A camera? Henry? A digital camera? - A camera? - A camera? Damn, man.
I thought we set a $10 limit.
You're making Tina feel all embarrassed about her cheap-ass plug.
It's okay.
Henry, this is too much.
Hey, come on, you're turning 18.
It's a big deal.
Here.
Cheers.
Cheers.
- Hey.
- Oh, hey, Vince.
What's going on? Well, Holly's just opening her birthday gifts.
We all got her a camera.
What did you get her? I got her something.
Knock yourself out.
Oh, $20.
I'll just put it right here next to 2,000 of its buddies.
Oh, my God.
What's the matter? I put it in this pocket.
It's my birthday money.
It was in an envelope.
Holly, you were carrying 2,000 bucks around in your pocket? Are you -- Screwed? Yeah, yeah, I'm screwed.
Calm down.
Maybe it's in the loft.
- Just call Val.
- I can't call Val! - Why not? Because I just spent the whole morning trying to tell her I'm not a kid anymore, and this is like below kid! Look, look, the loft is right across the street.
It has to be somewhere between here and there.
Okay, well, you guys look outside, and I'm going to go back to the loft.
We're going to do everything we can - to get that money back.
- Thank you, Gary.
Finder keepers! I mean, is it selfish that I don't want to get married in a yard? I have a dream wedding, and in my dream wedding, there is no donkey.
Hey, are you even listening to me? No.
I'm sorry.
I just, uh, I'm a little preoccupied right now.
- Holly? - Yes.
Holly.
You know, it is her money.
It's not just the money.
I mean, look at this.
Do you see this cereal bowl? This has been sitting here since this morning.
Yeah.
And Miss Big Shot -- "I'm turning 18, I'm going to live in Paris on my own" -- can't even clean up after herself.
And you know why? Because she has me around to do it for her.
- So don't do it.
- I have to.
Otherwise, I have to look at cereal bowls all day.
Did you ever think that maybe you're being just a little bit hard on her? Okay, yes, she does leave cereal bowls out, but at least she's not running around with the nakeds eating yogurt and raisins.
Seriously, she's a good kid.
No, she is irresponsible.
Weren't you irresponsible when you were 18? If someone had given you wouldn't you blow it? Uh, someone did, remember? Nana gave me $2,000 for my birthday, too, and I invested it in a high-yield C.
D.
, and now it is worth $5,698.
Party on, dude.
You know what, Lauren? Talk to me when you have a little sister that you have to take care of.
Oh, my parents don't have sex anymore.
That's not going to happen.
Okay, one more thing, and then I will stop.
I just think that maybe you should let her make her own mistakes.
What is this? Oh, my God, Holly's $2,000.
She must've dropped it on her way out.
She must be dying.
She's going to be so relieved when she finds out you found it.
Hmm, yeah, she will be relieved someday.
You're not going to tell her? No, mnh-mnh.
I'm going to take your advice.
What? I'm sorry, it's just that no one's ever said that to me before.
What advice did I give you? You said that I should let her make her own mistakes.
Well, if I give it right back to her, it's like she never even made a mistake.
Okay, no, no, now you're twisting my advice.
What you just said sounds like something my mom would do.
Well, that is what I have to be with her sometimes.
She thinks just because she's 18 she knows everything.
Well, she doesn't, and I do.
Hey, birthday girl! Hey.
Wassup? Nothing.
What are you doing? Looks like you're looking for something.
No.
No, no, no, everything's great.
Life is good, never been happier.
Oh, hey, did you, uh, book your big fancy suite for your birthday party? Sure did.
Oh, really, did they ask for a big deposit? - How much did you give them? - 1,000 bucks.
good about that, do you? Yeah.
Well, never better, because unlike you, I like to have fun.
So do I.
I bet you can't tell, but right now I'm having a ball! Hey, did you find it? Please tell me you found it.
Sorry.
Nothing.
Yeah, we looked everywhere.
I can't believe I lost $2,000.
Well, you know what they say.
It's better to have had $2,000 and lost it than to never have had it at all.
Okay, first of all, that's "love.
" Second of all, shut up.
Okay, here's the thing.
If I'm going to be an adult, I have to start acting like one.
So here's what I'm going to do.
If Val asks, we had a great time at the hotel, it was totally fun -- What? Why don't you just tell her the truth? It'd be so much easier.
Because Val's one of those people who thinks losing $2,000 is irresponsible.
- Hey.
- Henry? I'm sorry.
Okay.
That's it.
It's gone.
Well, you know what? Maybe this was supposed to happen.
Maybe the person who found that money really needed it.
Gary, give me back the money.
[ gasps .]
Hello, Holly's money! Oh, look at you.
You are just so beautiful.
Ha ha ha ha! Oh, money! Ha ha ha ha! This is so much fun! Ha ha ha ha! Oh, I've always wanted to do this! I knew it would be this much fun! Oh, money, money, money, money! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha -- I'm sure you're very upset right now.
So I would like to give you $2,000.
[ sobbing .]
Lauren? [ gasps .]
My money! You found my money! Wait, that is my money, right? Oh, my God, where did you find it? Doctor broke up with me.
Aw, what? Why? He hates women who care about money, and then he caught me rolling around in your cash.
I don't care about money.
I was just having fun! Oh, I'm sorry.
Come here.
- So where did you find it? - What? The money.
I just found it.
Where? I don't know.
Around.
Lauren, tell me what you know.
I can't.
Some blond lady swore me to secrecy.
[ gasps .]
Wait, Val found my money, and she didn't tell me? Why didn't she tell me, Lauren? Why? 'Cause she's pretty ticked off about the cereal bowl situation? What? Look, I don't know.
She's trying to teach you some kind of lesson.
She doesn't think you're mature or, like, ready for life or something.
Oh, and hiding money is mature? I know! She's weird! She wants you to learn from your own mistakes.
Okay, you know what? I've had it with her little lessons.
You know, I'm going to teach her a lesson.
Why are you guys always trying to teach each other lessons? Can you just have slap fights like normal sisters? Hey.
Hey.
So, listen, I've been giving it a lot of thought, and your 18th birthday is a big event.
So I have decided I will be coming to your big fancy birthday party at the Plaza.
Mm, Val, there's not going to be a birthday party.
- What? No party? - No.
Why? Well, there's no easy way to say it, so I'm just going to say it.
I somehow lost the $2,000.
You're kidding.
Holly, please tell me you're kidding.
I wish I could.
It was in my jacket pocket, and it fell out, and I don't know how I could do something so stupid.
You were right.
I was wrong.
I'm sorry.
What? You were right.
I was wrong.
I feel sick.
Ohokay.
I have something I need to show you.
What? It's probably going to put a smile back on your face.
But first, I want to say thank you for telling me the truth.
I know it wasn't easy, but part of growing up is being able to -- Being able to what? Uh, what? You were just saying that part of growing up is being able to Oh, my God! It's gone! What's gone? Your money! What do you mean? I lost my money.
No, II found it, and I locked it up in here.
And now it's gone! II don't understand.
Why would you do that? Because I was trying to teach you some stupid lesson! No.
No, no, no, it wasn't stupid.
I'm sure it was a very good lesson.
It just wasn't executed properly.
I think that your plan started to fall apart when I found this! Wow, yeah, that is very amusing.
- Yeah, I think so.
- How did you know I had it? Lauren was rolling in it.
Lauren.
How could you do that to me? Do you have any idea how freaked out I was when I lost this? Good, you should've been freaked out.
- You know, I think you're being really - Irresponsible, I know.
And you want me to learn from my mistakes.
Lauren.
The nice thing to do when someone loses their money is to give it back to them without lessons or "I told you so's.
" I'm turning 18.
Yes, I know! You're turning 18.
And that scares the hell out of me, Holly.
God, I was so not like you when I was 18.
I mean, I would've never blown $2,000 on one night at the Plaza, much less lost it! Do you know what my biggest mistake was when I was 18? A home perm! All right.
Come here.
Sit down.
I have some bad news.
What? How do I say this? Um, I'm not you.
I'm never going to be you, but I've got you.
So don't be scared.
I'm going to be okay, and some of that "be responsible" crap you're always telling me -- it's in here.
It is? Yeah.
And where do you think I learned that? From me.
And I even use it sometimes.
So relax and trust me.
I trust you.
Okay.
But I'm probably not going to be able to relax.
Okay, well, this will help.
I think I'm going to put the money in a bank, a high-yield C.
D.
, or maybe put it away for, like, graduate school or something.
Oh, well, it's your money.
You do what you want.
So you're good? I'm good.
Okay.
Yay, it's my 18th birthday at the Plaza picture from my generous sister Val.
Lauren, you didn't even smile.
I tried, I swear, but the corners of my mouth are so sad.
I don't think they will ever go up again.
Lauren, we talked about this.
We decided it was a good thing, right? I mean, what if you and doctor broke up after you were married? I know.
Okay? And you have to wonder, if Brad was that upset because you were having a little fun in a pile of money It wasn't about the money, you know? We have a lot of differences.
It never would've worked out, anyway.
Well, then why did you say you'd marry him? Because I was afraid no one else would ever ask me! - Aww - Aww Happy birthday! To me! Hey, what are you guys doing here? What are you guys doing there? Oh, Val, you invited them, too? Yeah, you said you wanted to have a kick-ass birthday with all your friends.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, I love room service.
What is it -- Steak, lobster, filet mign -- Pizza.
Whatever.
I'm starving.
Come on, Lauren, you can eat now.
You don't have to be skinny for the doctor anymore.
And there's the silver lining.
So, is it time for presents? Uh, Holly, this expensive hotel thing kinda was your present.
No, no, I know.
I'm talking about my present for you.
Me? I don't understand.
Why would you get me -- Just open it.
Holly! My Marc Jacobs bag! Don't be mad at me.
I didn't put the whole $2,000 in the bank.
This is the best birthday you have ever had.
Oh, dude, dude, it's happening again.
Wait, wait, wait, ladies, ladies, ladies, yeah, yeah.
Jeez.
Now -- now look pouty.
I was just thinking about renting a ton of porn.
You're not renting any porn.
In two days, I can.
I'll be 18.
I can rent porn, I can buy porn, I can be in porn.
Trust me, you don't want to be in a porn.
The floors are filthy.
I wasn't in one.
I rented a documentary about the making of.
So, the nakeds were all running around the kitchen during their breaks and bending down to the fridge and getting yogurt and raisins and stuff.
Ew.
Okay, well, I'm over porn.
But there's, like, a million other things I can do.
I know.
When I was 18, I went completely wild.
I was the biggest virgin.
Okay, well, it's not so much what you can do, but how you feel.
I've always felt like a kid, and I finally feel like an adult.
[ gasps .]
Oh, goody, goody, is that today's mail? Did Nana's birthday card come? Oh, it did! It came! I'm rich! I love my birthday! I love Nana! Look.
Your grandmother sent you $2,000 for your birthday? She did the same thing for me on my 18th birthday.
Oh, my God.
My grandmother died, and all I got was her old diabetic candy.
So, what are you going to do with it? How much is a Corvette? - I have a suggestion.
- What? Why don't you put it in the bank? No.
No, no, no, no.
See, those were not Nana's instructions.
You see -- "Dear, Holly, "do not put this money in the bank like your sister did.
She's not fun.
Love, Nana.
" Aww This has nothing to do with being fun, all right? It's about self-control.
It's about being an adult.
And don't you think I would love to go out and blow 2,000 bucks on something frivolous? - No.
- No.
Let me tell you something.
A few doors down from Dean & Deluca's, there is this cute boutique, and in the window is the most gorgeous Marc Jacobs bag I have ever seen.
Every time I pass by that store, I walk in, I touch it, I walk out.
I do the same thing to the coffee guy at Dean & Deluca's.
The point is, I mean, I would love to go out and blow 2,000 bucks on something, but I have self-control.
It's called being an adult.
Yeah, well, it's my money.
Yes, I know, it's your money, and I'm not going to tell you what to do.
You're going to be 18 soon, and this is your choice what you want to do with it.
Well, I choose to spend it.
Well, if that's your choice, it's the wrong one.
And you're not going to be 18 until Saturday and until then, I am the boss of you, and that money's going into the bank.
Okay, fine, I'll put it in the dumb boring bank, and I'll live a very dull, responsible, boring life.
Thatagirl.
Whee! Okay, okay, my turn.
Gary, reset the money! - What is this? - Money! You want a turn? Gary can reset it.
I thought you took the check to the bank.
I did, and look what they gave me in return! You cashed it? What were you thinking? No, I wasn't thinking.
I was high on the green.
Okay, well, gather it up.
We are taking this back to the bank.
No, we're not.
I am two days away from being an adult, and I have already made my adult decision about what I am going to do with my money.
Ok, what is that adult decision? I'm going to throw myself a kick-ass birthday party in one of them fancy suites at the Plaza! - The Plaza? - Uh-huh.
The Plaza Hotel.
Oh, yeah.
That's adult, Holly.
Very adult.
Okay, you know what? From one adult to another, you're giving me a lot of attitude.
So why don't we just have an adult discussion about what's really bothering you? You mean the fact that you want to throw $2,000 away at the Plaza Hotel, or that you're rolling around like a pig in its own poopy? You know what? You cannot stand the fact that you're not going to be able to control me anymore! Control you? Holly, that is not what this is about.
For 17 years, I've been your little puppet.
And in two days, we're going to cut the strings.
Okay, this is not about control.
This is about common sense.
Holly, we're talking about $2,000.
I'm just trying to make -- would you stop doing that? - Are we done? - Yes.
Okay! You know what? Fine.
Throw your money away.
I don't care.
And you know what? I'll tell you this.
I am not coming to your irresponsible party.
Oh, my God, look at all that money.
Oh, I've always wanted to roll around in a big wad of cash.
So she is going to blow the entire $2,000 on a party at some stupid hotel.
Well, I wouldn't call it a "stupid hotel.
" It's the Plaza.
It's one of the most romantic places on earth.
I mean, I've heard some people even get married there.
Ha ha ha.
Not us.
We like small and intimate.
So, uh, have you guys started thinking about where you want to get married? - Oh, I have.
- I have, too.
- Oh, you go first.
- No, you go.
Okay, all right, well, since we both like small and intimate, I was thinking my parents' backyard.
Ha ha ha ha! Oh, my God, it's like you're reading my mind.
Oh, this is going to mean so much to my parents, and wait until you see their backyard.
There are tons of trees.
Ooh, trees.
That's good for shade.
Yeah, and there's this big path where all the dogs run loose, and I can just see you coming up that path right next to the bird baths Bird baths.
That's good for something.
Yeah, yeah, my mom's got this thing for bird baths.
They're all over.
Well, there's just one problem, though.
Sometimes, you can see the neighbor's donkey.
A jackass at my wedding? No, that is something that no one ever does.
Isn't she fantastic? Oh, she is the best! Okay, so bring it on! Who wants to go first? I do.
Here, happy birthday.
Oh, goody.
Thank you.
Aw from my best friend Tina -- a plug.
It's a voltage converter for your trip to Paris If you get the internship -- for your blow dryer and stuff.
- Thank you, but what if I don't get accepted? - You will.
Here, I got you a little something for Paris, too.
Disposable razors.
That's for here.
They don't know nothing about that in Paris.
Thank you.
This is really sweet.
Okay, my turn.
A camera? Henry? A digital camera? - A camera? - A camera? Damn, man.
I thought we set a $10 limit.
You're making Tina feel all embarrassed about her cheap-ass plug.
It's okay.
Henry, this is too much.
Hey, come on, you're turning 18.
It's a big deal.
Here.
Cheers.
Cheers.
- Hey.
- Oh, hey, Vince.
What's going on? Well, Holly's just opening her birthday gifts.
We all got her a camera.
What did you get her? I got her something.
Knock yourself out.
Oh, $20.
I'll just put it right here next to 2,000 of its buddies.
Oh, my God.
What's the matter? I put it in this pocket.
It's my birthday money.
It was in an envelope.
Holly, you were carrying 2,000 bucks around in your pocket? Are you -- Screwed? Yeah, yeah, I'm screwed.
Calm down.
Maybe it's in the loft.
- Just call Val.
- I can't call Val! - Why not? Because I just spent the whole morning trying to tell her I'm not a kid anymore, and this is like below kid! Look, look, the loft is right across the street.
It has to be somewhere between here and there.
Okay, well, you guys look outside, and I'm going to go back to the loft.
We're going to do everything we can - to get that money back.
- Thank you, Gary.
Finder keepers! I mean, is it selfish that I don't want to get married in a yard? I have a dream wedding, and in my dream wedding, there is no donkey.
Hey, are you even listening to me? No.
I'm sorry.
I just, uh, I'm a little preoccupied right now.
- Holly? - Yes.
Holly.
You know, it is her money.
It's not just the money.
I mean, look at this.
Do you see this cereal bowl? This has been sitting here since this morning.
Yeah.
And Miss Big Shot -- "I'm turning 18, I'm going to live in Paris on my own" -- can't even clean up after herself.
And you know why? Because she has me around to do it for her.
- So don't do it.
- I have to.
Otherwise, I have to look at cereal bowls all day.
Did you ever think that maybe you're being just a little bit hard on her? Okay, yes, she does leave cereal bowls out, but at least she's not running around with the nakeds eating yogurt and raisins.
Seriously, she's a good kid.
No, she is irresponsible.
Weren't you irresponsible when you were 18? If someone had given you wouldn't you blow it? Uh, someone did, remember? Nana gave me $2,000 for my birthday, too, and I invested it in a high-yield C.
D.
, and now it is worth $5,698.
Party on, dude.
You know what, Lauren? Talk to me when you have a little sister that you have to take care of.
Oh, my parents don't have sex anymore.
That's not going to happen.
Okay, one more thing, and then I will stop.
I just think that maybe you should let her make her own mistakes.
What is this? Oh, my God, Holly's $2,000.
She must've dropped it on her way out.
She must be dying.
She's going to be so relieved when she finds out you found it.
Hmm, yeah, she will be relieved someday.
You're not going to tell her? No, mnh-mnh.
I'm going to take your advice.
What? I'm sorry, it's just that no one's ever said that to me before.
What advice did I give you? You said that I should let her make her own mistakes.
Well, if I give it right back to her, it's like she never even made a mistake.
Okay, no, no, now you're twisting my advice.
What you just said sounds like something my mom would do.
Well, that is what I have to be with her sometimes.
She thinks just because she's 18 she knows everything.
Well, she doesn't, and I do.
Hey, birthday girl! Hey.
Wassup? Nothing.
What are you doing? Looks like you're looking for something.
No.
No, no, no, everything's great.
Life is good, never been happier.
Oh, hey, did you, uh, book your big fancy suite for your birthday party? Sure did.
Oh, really, did they ask for a big deposit? - How much did you give them? - 1,000 bucks.
good about that, do you? Yeah.
Well, never better, because unlike you, I like to have fun.
So do I.
I bet you can't tell, but right now I'm having a ball! Hey, did you find it? Please tell me you found it.
Sorry.
Nothing.
Yeah, we looked everywhere.
I can't believe I lost $2,000.
Well, you know what they say.
It's better to have had $2,000 and lost it than to never have had it at all.
Okay, first of all, that's "love.
" Second of all, shut up.
Okay, here's the thing.
If I'm going to be an adult, I have to start acting like one.
So here's what I'm going to do.
If Val asks, we had a great time at the hotel, it was totally fun -- What? Why don't you just tell her the truth? It'd be so much easier.
Because Val's one of those people who thinks losing $2,000 is irresponsible.
- Hey.
- Henry? I'm sorry.
Okay.
That's it.
It's gone.
Well, you know what? Maybe this was supposed to happen.
Maybe the person who found that money really needed it.
Gary, give me back the money.
[ gasps .]
Hello, Holly's money! Oh, look at you.
You are just so beautiful.
Ha ha ha ha! Oh, money! Ha ha ha ha! This is so much fun! Ha ha ha ha! Oh, I've always wanted to do this! I knew it would be this much fun! Oh, money, money, money, money! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha -- I'm sure you're very upset right now.
So I would like to give you $2,000.
[ sobbing .]
Lauren? [ gasps .]
My money! You found my money! Wait, that is my money, right? Oh, my God, where did you find it? Doctor broke up with me.
Aw, what? Why? He hates women who care about money, and then he caught me rolling around in your cash.
I don't care about money.
I was just having fun! Oh, I'm sorry.
Come here.
- So where did you find it? - What? The money.
I just found it.
Where? I don't know.
Around.
Lauren, tell me what you know.
I can't.
Some blond lady swore me to secrecy.
[ gasps .]
Wait, Val found my money, and she didn't tell me? Why didn't she tell me, Lauren? Why? 'Cause she's pretty ticked off about the cereal bowl situation? What? Look, I don't know.
She's trying to teach you some kind of lesson.
She doesn't think you're mature or, like, ready for life or something.
Oh, and hiding money is mature? I know! She's weird! She wants you to learn from your own mistakes.
Okay, you know what? I've had it with her little lessons.
You know, I'm going to teach her a lesson.
Why are you guys always trying to teach each other lessons? Can you just have slap fights like normal sisters? Hey.
Hey.
So, listen, I've been giving it a lot of thought, and your 18th birthday is a big event.
So I have decided I will be coming to your big fancy birthday party at the Plaza.
Mm, Val, there's not going to be a birthday party.
- What? No party? - No.
Why? Well, there's no easy way to say it, so I'm just going to say it.
I somehow lost the $2,000.
You're kidding.
Holly, please tell me you're kidding.
I wish I could.
It was in my jacket pocket, and it fell out, and I don't know how I could do something so stupid.
You were right.
I was wrong.
I'm sorry.
What? You were right.
I was wrong.
I feel sick.
Ohokay.
I have something I need to show you.
What? It's probably going to put a smile back on your face.
But first, I want to say thank you for telling me the truth.
I know it wasn't easy, but part of growing up is being able to -- Being able to what? Uh, what? You were just saying that part of growing up is being able to Oh, my God! It's gone! What's gone? Your money! What do you mean? I lost my money.
No, II found it, and I locked it up in here.
And now it's gone! II don't understand.
Why would you do that? Because I was trying to teach you some stupid lesson! No.
No, no, no, it wasn't stupid.
I'm sure it was a very good lesson.
It just wasn't executed properly.
I think that your plan started to fall apart when I found this! Wow, yeah, that is very amusing.
- Yeah, I think so.
- How did you know I had it? Lauren was rolling in it.
Lauren.
How could you do that to me? Do you have any idea how freaked out I was when I lost this? Good, you should've been freaked out.
- You know, I think you're being really - Irresponsible, I know.
And you want me to learn from my mistakes.
Lauren.
The nice thing to do when someone loses their money is to give it back to them without lessons or "I told you so's.
" I'm turning 18.
Yes, I know! You're turning 18.
And that scares the hell out of me, Holly.
God, I was so not like you when I was 18.
I mean, I would've never blown $2,000 on one night at the Plaza, much less lost it! Do you know what my biggest mistake was when I was 18? A home perm! All right.
Come here.
Sit down.
I have some bad news.
What? How do I say this? Um, I'm not you.
I'm never going to be you, but I've got you.
So don't be scared.
I'm going to be okay, and some of that "be responsible" crap you're always telling me -- it's in here.
It is? Yeah.
And where do you think I learned that? From me.
And I even use it sometimes.
So relax and trust me.
I trust you.
Okay.
But I'm probably not going to be able to relax.
Okay, well, this will help.
I think I'm going to put the money in a bank, a high-yield C.
D.
, or maybe put it away for, like, graduate school or something.
Oh, well, it's your money.
You do what you want.
So you're good? I'm good.
Okay.
Yay, it's my 18th birthday at the Plaza picture from my generous sister Val.
Lauren, you didn't even smile.
I tried, I swear, but the corners of my mouth are so sad.
I don't think they will ever go up again.
Lauren, we talked about this.
We decided it was a good thing, right? I mean, what if you and doctor broke up after you were married? I know.
Okay? And you have to wonder, if Brad was that upset because you were having a little fun in a pile of money It wasn't about the money, you know? We have a lot of differences.
It never would've worked out, anyway.
Well, then why did you say you'd marry him? Because I was afraid no one else would ever ask me! - Aww - Aww Happy birthday! To me! Hey, what are you guys doing here? What are you guys doing there? Oh, Val, you invited them, too? Yeah, you said you wanted to have a kick-ass birthday with all your friends.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, I love room service.
What is it -- Steak, lobster, filet mign -- Pizza.
Whatever.
I'm starving.
Come on, Lauren, you can eat now.
You don't have to be skinny for the doctor anymore.
And there's the silver lining.
So, is it time for presents? Uh, Holly, this expensive hotel thing kinda was your present.
No, no, I know.
I'm talking about my present for you.
Me? I don't understand.
Why would you get me -- Just open it.
Holly! My Marc Jacobs bag! Don't be mad at me.
I didn't put the whole $2,000 in the bank.
This is the best birthday you have ever had.
Oh, dude, dude, it's happening again.
Wait, wait, wait, ladies, ladies, ladies, yeah, yeah.
Jeez.
Now -- now look pouty.