What I Like About You (2002) s03e13 Episode Script

Don't Kiss The Messenger

[ knock on door .]
- Hey you.
- Hi.
God, get a room! Oh, wait, this is your room.
Sorry, I am just so excited that Ben doesn't have to work this afternoon.
It's been like a week since we have been able to hang out.
We are gonna see a movie.
Yeah, so listen I found this one called Daus Crudle, its about this German peasant girl who finds love in a noodle factory.
Das awesome! [ cellular phone rings .]
I love having a smart foreign boyfriend.
Yeah.
Isn't his Visa up yet? No, he just renewed it.
Yay! Hey, Holly Oh, God, you can't go? I'm sorry.
They need a studio musician for Maroon 5 this afternoon.
I know we were planning on spending the day together, but it's Maroon 5.
You know what? I'll turn it down.
No, no, you can't turn it down.
It's your job.
Plus, I get 10%.
Okay, well, we'll still be together tonight for your work party.
Isn't that really the more important thing? Totally.
So go.
Go, go, go, go, go! I can't believe he went.
You really know how to dance When you go up, down, jump around Talk about true romance Yeah Keep on whispering in my ear Tell me all the things that I wanna hear 'Cause it's true What I like That's what I like about you What I like That's what I like about you What I like about you That's what I like about you What I like about you That's what I like about you What I like about you That's what I like about you What I like about you That's what I like about Hey Uh-huh Uh-huh That's what I like about you Oh.
Dude, what happened? Okay.
So I'm eating, right? Well, there was this girl who was giving me the eye.
So I was giving her the eye.
Then I started strutting towards her, and damn, if I didn't just slip on my filet-o-fish.
Does it hurt? Well, it did.
Until a couple of fine females in paper hats came to my aid.
Let's just say now I know why they call it a happy meal.
Oh, hey, I ran into Ben downstairs.
He told me to tell you are the most understanding girlfriend in the world.
Well, did he mention "independent"? Because right now I'm going to see the Chucky marathon with my friend Vince.
You wanna go, Gary? Oh, uh, Gary cannot walk.
Oh, so the two of you are going to the movies together? Oh, all right, all right.
Well, listen, Holly, I think you should use the restroom before you go see the scary movie.
You do remember what happened during "The Ring.
" Hey.
Yeah, I better go.
So, you and Holly.
Movies.
What are you doing? I thought you having sex with Tina got you over Holly.
Shh! I'm just being a good friend, and would you stop talking about the Tina thing? It never happened.
Well, if you and Holly are just friends, then why do you care if she finds out that you slept with Tina? Yeah, yeah, that's right.
I'm asking the hard questions.
Because, Gary, it's not cool.
Wouldn't it bother you if I slept with that girl Brenda even though you had already broken up with her? [ high voice .]
Boy, did you sleep with Brenda? See, see, that's the high voice.
It would bother you.
And that's why we're never mentioning the Tina thing again.
Okay, my bladder's ready to see Chucky.
Let's go! Great, I hear there's some new footage where he disembowels a guy with a razor blade.
I'll be right back.
Stop it, no! No more, come on! No more snowballs! We're in the house, we're in the house.
Okay, fine.
From now on.
Stop it now.
You hit me first.
Aah! Holly, Ben, no snow -- Wait a second, you're not Ben.
I thought you were going to the movies with Ben.
Ben had to work, so Vince and I went.
I am an independent woman who no longer waits by the phone for her boyfriend.
Or pees herself at scary movies.
Well, you look so pretty on your first day back at work.
And you too.
Oh, hey, I used to have a turtleneck just like that one.
It had a little coffee stain on the elbow.
Yeah, it came right out.
So, listen, we have a meeting with a client in a half-hour, so why don't you run upstairs and get your coat? Right, my coat, 'cause I'm going to work.
I'm going out.
Yay! So, what are you kids up to? Well, Ben had to work, so -- Yeah, I don't care.
I just needed filler while Val was still in earshot.
Okay, listen, there is no client meeting.
There are no clients.
What? While your sister was busy planning a wedding and then breaking off a wedding, let's just say that somebody let the company fall apart.
You let the company fall apart? She's going to freak out.
This will kill her.
Where will I live? No, I'm sorry, not with me.
I can't sleep with another person in my bed.
Okay, so how are you going to tell Val that you lost her business? Well, I'm taking her to her favorite bakery, and once she's full of cupcakes and other treats She'll be too weighed down to catch you when you run? Ho ho, you are no dummy.
Okay, let's go! I'm so excited to be going back to work.
I love work.
You know, after the whole Rick thing, it's really all I have.
Okay, it's really starting to look like I'm going to have to pick up the check.
Man, you got nothing in here.
You wanna order pizza? - From that place? - No, the other place.
By that thing? Okay, I'll call.
Oh, wait, I have a message.
[ Ben's voice .]
: Hey, Holly, it's Ben.
Listen, I've got some bad news.
Oh, God, don't tell me that you're canceling on the party tonight.
I have to cancel on your party tonight.
- I'm gonna kill him.
- Please don't kill me.
What's he gonna say next? Okay, you know what? It doesn't matter.
He knew that this work party was really important to me.
Well, it's work for him, too.
Yeah, but just once, I would like him to put me before work.
No, what am I doing? I can't do this.
This is all a part of my new independent thing.
I mean, I can go alone.
Alone is good.
I am perfectly happy going alone.
- I'll go.
- Oh, thank God.
I'll start the independent thing tomorrow.
Hey another cupcake? These are so good.
I can't believe they're selling this bakery.
Where are we gonna have our meetings? Don't worry about that.
Okay, where is this client, anyway? Give me some more details about the project.
I'm so excited to be back at work.
Go! Go, go, go.
Come on.
Um, okay, well, our client is president of this company.
And he put his vice-president in charge.
And then everything kind of went south.
And they may go out of business.
So they need some good P.
R.
to spin it.
Well, that's easy.
We say, "Due to economic downturn and global outsourcing, the company is closing its doors to pursue other ventures.
" Oh, that's good.
Val due to economic downturn and global outsourcing, your company is closing its doors to pursue other ventures.
What? I am so sorry.
I wanted to tell you our clients were leaving, but first you were so busy planning the wedding, and then you were so sad breaking up with Rick, and then it was the holidays, and I had so much shopping to do.
My company is gone? All gone? Well, it's not all -- yeah, it's gone.
Cupcake? I'm sorry.
I am so sorry.
Are you going to eat that last one? Oh, my God, I can't believe this is happening.
I'm going to have to start over from scratch.
I'm going to have to rebuild my whole client list.
I'm going to have to re-establish myself -- Or you could look at my incompetence as a gift and do something you actually enjoy.
I enjoy food and shelter.
Come on, Val, you hated this job as much as I did.
Do you even know what we did? Because I gotta tell you, I didn't! I mean, what isP.
R.
? Oh, my God, all I can say is, thank God I didn't give you that raise.
Did I? Come on, Val.
This is your chance to finally take a risk, you know, to do something exciting.
We could do it together.
We could go to Europe.
We could invent something.
[ gasps .]
We could model.
No! "We" -- "we" -- "we" are not gonna do anything.
"Me" never wants to "we" with you again! Oh, really? Well, you are just lucky I don't sue you for sexual harassment.
Look, don't think I didn't feel that roving eye on me when you were doing that"P.
R.
" [ dance music playing .]
Hey, this party is amazing.
I just peed between Matt and Ben.
Ben's a bit of a splasher.
Well, Usher just took a bite out of this buffalo wing, and I'm going to sell it on eBay.
We have a winner! [ slow music playing .]
This song is awesome.
Come on.
Thank you so much for coming with me tonight.
I'm so glad that you didn't have to work like someone else I know.
All I can say is, if I were Ben, nothing would come between us.
I mean, when you're on your death bed, you don't remember the work you did.
You remember the people you loved.
That's so sweet.
Holly, there's something I want to tell you that I've been trying to tell you for such a long time, but something keeps getting in my way.
Holly I still love you.
What? I could make it up to you Take me back I'm a lonely boy I miss you Whoa.
Oh, my God.
It was a dream.
Ow.
[ knock on door .]
Coming.
Hey.
Hey, I got your message, but I can't talk right now.
I gotta go pick up my grandmother.
I gotta go.
She lives all the way uptown.
I kissed Vince.
She can walk.
The exercise will do her good! I am freaking out, Tina.
Oh, my God, what happened? Are you guys back together? - What did he say about me? - No, it's in a dream.
And why would he say anything about you? What? I don't know.
Crazy things happen in dreams.
Okay, but, Tina, Tina, this felt so real.
And it was hot.
I can't go to that party with him tonight.
I can't be near him.
I don't know if I can ever see him again.
- Just calm down.
- I can't calm down.
Why would I dream that? Is it just because I'm mad at Ben for working so much? Or do I really have feelings for Vince? I'm scared, Tina.
[ gasps .]
I'm a dream ho.
Look, will you just stop? Look, you can kiss in a dream, and it doesn't mean anything.
You can have sex in a dream, and it doesn't mean anything.
You know, you can even have sex in real life with a close friend, and it doesn't mean anything.
You should remember that for the future.
Oh, great, I just have to deal with this maturely.
Will you call him and make it better? SoI'm all ready for my date with Holly.
What do you think? I think her boyfriend is Ben, and you're getting all confused in that pretty little head of yours.
So you think I'm pretty.
You think Holly will think I'm pretty? I got a little sun, this is my most flattering shirt, and my hair is the perfect length for the structure of my head.
Look.
[ cellular phone rings .]
Hello? Oh, hey, Holly.
[ acting sick .]
Vince, I'm really sick.
- [ whispers .]
Ah-choo.
- What? - Ah-choo.
- What? - Ah-choo! - Bless you.
I mean, bless me.
[ coughs .]
I woke up from a nap, and it really hit me.
I think it might be the flu.
I'm so sorry, but I can't go tonight.
Uh, well, uh, I hope you feel better.
[ coughing weakly .]
Thanks for understanding.
Goodbye.
Well, call me if you need anything.
She can't go.
Oh, I'm sorry, dude.
But, hey, man, maybe it's for the best.
Look, I know you.
You would've gotten to that party, you would've started dancing, you would've told her how you feel, and you'd blow a great friendship, and suddenly, you're not speaking to each other, and everybody's fighting over custody of Gary.
What's the problem, man? Why are you messing with the cripple, dog? Oh, yeah.
You know, this isn't gonna get your business back.
But it will numb the pain.
Honey, that's just the frosting talking.
Damn, Joe.
What am I gonna do if you sell this place? Who am I gonna talk to? The guy at the doughnut shop just doesn't have your insight.
Well, if you need me, Val, you can reach me in Tahiti.
Why Tahiti? Because it's time for a change.
You know, people are like cupcakes.
You stay in one place too long, you get stale.
Also, you can have more than one wife in Tahiti.
Do you think I'm stale, Joe? I don't want to be stale.
God.
Maybe Lauren's right.
I do always play it safe.
I don't want to be safe anymore, Joe.
Let's be real, safe hasn't been that good to me.
I mean, now is the perfect time for me to try something new.
You know? I'm free as a bird.
I've got nothing to tie me down.
No husband, no kids.
Okay.
The point is, Joe, if I don't run with this now, I never will.
So you know what, Joey? I'm gonna do it.
Val Tyler is going to take a big-ass risk! You bought a bakery? Yeah.
So, like, if we weren't still in a fight, I could pick this up and do this for free? We're not fighting anymore.
[ gasps .]
Loving it.
Some cookies And it's all because of you, Lauren.
You were right.
You said that I was playing it safe, that I was scared to take a chance.
But I took one -- a big-ass one.
No way I'm getting stale! And look what we carry! "We.
" "We.
" I want you to do this with me, Lauren.
I realize that the only thing I liked about my P.
R.
company was hanging out with you every day.
Oh, my God.
Well, what am I going to be doing here besides this? How the hell am I supposed to know? I don't know nothing about owning no bakery.
But I thought we could start by funking the place up a little, you know? Some crazy colors on the walls, some cool couches Oh, Val, this is gonna be so great! And I promise, this time, I will give you 100%.
I will be the best employee you have ever had.
You will not be sorry.
Oh, but, listen, I can't come in tomorrow because I have my nails.
Vince.
Hi, uh, what are you doing here? Bringing you chicken soup because I thought you were sick.
But maybe it was a 24-minute flu? You know what? It kind of was.
Like, I was really sick, and it was intense, but then I threw up, and I felt better, and I was, like, whoo, let's party! So, uh, I was gonna call you, but I just figured that you made other plans.
Well, I'm here.
I'm still in my party look.
It must be a sign.
Let's go.
Umum Are you gonna throw up again? No.
Come on, you said you don't want to go alone.
Okay.
Yep, I guess we can't let your party look go to waste.
Or yours.
By the way, I, uh, really like your hair that way.
I don't know if you noticed, but my hair is the perfect length for the structure of my head.
Mm-hmm.
[ dance music playing .]
Man, this party is awesome.
I was in the bathroom -- You peed between Matt and Ben, and Ben's a splasher? No.
And ew.
Just checking.
Okay, so I said hello to my boss, and I had a shrimp puff with Puff Daddy.
Wait, wait, Holly.
We just got here.
Tyler, is this your boyfriend? No! No, this is just my friend.
This is Vince.
My boyfriend Ben is working.
Cool.
I gotta go.
Courtney Love just asked me to get her some "Sweet 'n Low" for her "coffee.
" - Okay, so, we can go now.
- Wait, wait.
What do you mean? We didn't even dance yet.
Oh, now, see, I can't dance in front of my coworkers.
No offense, Holly, but with this haircut, no one's going to be looking at you.
It's true.
[ dance music playing .]
[ slow music playing .]
Wow.
You're a great dancer.
You know what, Vince? Maybe we really should go.
What's going on? Okay, I just -- I feel a little weird.
You and me.
Ben not here.
Holly, it's just a dance.
Do you feel something Pulling you back in? Do you see something You wanna see again? Holly, you remember the last time we danced like this? It was your last night in Paris.
And it was 10:00, and we were in front of the Eiffel Tower, and the sun was still out.
Which is why you almost missed your plane.
Holly, ever wonder what would have happened if I did miss the plane? You would've had to go stand-by? No, I mean, if I didn't leave Paris at all.
If you and I -- May I cut in? - Ben.
- Hey.
Hey, listen, thanks, mate.
I really appreciate you taking care of her for me.
Oh, yeah, sure.
I'm just gonna go see if there's any famous people I can pee next to.
Have a good night.
Hi.
Hi.
So, wait, what happened to Maroon 5? Well, it looks like it's gonna take me a little longer to get famous.
You gave that up for me? Yes.
Holly, there is nothing more important to me than you.
I can be the one I can make it up to you Take me back, I'm a lonely boy Who loves you I'm a lonely boy Who loves you
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