What I Like About You (2002) s04e11 Episode Script

Coming Home

Look, Val, there is a huge fire in Soho.
We've just been informed that three firefighters have been seriously injured in a roof collapse.
Uh, I am sure that right now Vic is into his third martini, telling the bartender what a freak his wife is, okay? [ telephone rings .]
Look.
That's probably him right now, drunk dialing.
Hello? It's the fire department.
Yes, this is Mrs.
Meladeo.
Oh, God.
[ Holly .]
: Val? Val? Val! [ laughs .]
Wah! Check me out! Holly, how old are you? Look how funny my feet look.
Holly, stop riding the bed.
You're gonna break it before Vic gets home from the hospital.
You know what? Life is short.
Ride the bed.
Go skydiving.
Go one day without panties.
See, this is what I've been talking about.
She has been different for the past three days.
She's all open and mellow.
Go ahead.
Find out for yourself.
Okay.
Yeah.
Hi, Val? Can I touch your boobs? Sure.
Nah.
Half the fun is the chase.
You know what, ladies? When you almost lose someone, you realize you have to enjoy every moment, 'cause you never know when it could be your last.
Mm-hmm.
Someone's been sipping the Kabbalah juice.
You don't want to regret anything.
You don't want to leave anything unsaid.
That is why today when Vic comes home from the hospital I am gonna make him a beautiful, romantic champagne brunch, and I'm gonna tell him that I love him.
Oh, Val! Now I want to touch your boobs.
What I like about you You really know how to dance When you go up, down, jump around Talk about true romance Yeah Keep on whisperin' in my ear Tell me all the things that I wanna hear 'Cause it's true That's what I like about you That's what I like about you That's what I like about you, you, you That's what I like about you That's what I like about you That's what I like about Uh-huh Uh-huh It's what I like about you So, Vince didn't get in till like 1:00 last night.
What were you two doing? Well, I don't know what he was doing, but I was lying in bed wondering what he was doing.
Oh, wait.
He had to work late again? Yes.
Robyn is taking up every second of his time with work.
We were supposed to have dinner last night, and who suddenly needs him at 8:00 at night? [ gasps .]
Robyn?! Look at how you put that together, baby girl.
Yes! I am so trying to not let this get to me, but I can't help it.
I swear, every time that we have plans, she has some work thing for him to do.
Wait.
Why did you just make air quotes? No, those weren't air quotes.
I was just practicing what I want to do to her eyes.
- Hey.
- Oh, hey! Sorry I'm late, but real-estate-mogul clothes take so much longer to get into than bike-messenger clothes.
It's okay.
Aw.
Do you realize that this is our first time together since you and that Robyn started to work together? - Mm-hmm.
- Mwah! She sure has been working you awful hard.
And I love it.
Every morning, I can't wait to go to work.
I haven't felt like this since -- I don't know when I've ever felt like this.
Aw, and I love that you are so excited.
And I love that you work with your ex-girlfriend.
Holly, I'm getting off work early tonight, and I'm gonna have the most romantic evening ever with my baby.
Wait.
You mean me, right? Of course.
Yay, me! I'm the baby! Vin? Vin? [ chuckles .]
What happened to the "ce"? [ sss .]
Hey, Robyn.
Uh, you know Holly.
Sure.
Cute jacket.
- Thanks.
Love your -- - So, get this Vin.
"ce.
" [ sss .]
Daddy thinks you're doing such a great job, he's decided to let you run your first open house by yourself.
Are you kidding me?! Congratulations! So, the one-sheets are in here, and the owners are gone, so you can keep the place open for the after-work crowd.
Figure you'll be there till at least 10:00.
Oh, baby, I'm -- I'm sorry about our night.
- Vin? - Yeah, baby? Oh.
Look at that -- getting your babies all confused.
[ chuckles .]
That's cute.
Holly, I'm sorry.
Vin, let's go.
We can share a cab uptown.
I'll call you later? Sure.
Bye, Holly.
Love your shoes.
Bye, Robyn.
Hate your guts.
So? So? So? I mean, did you see that? Uh, yeah.
Okay, so, you don't think I'm crazy that I think that Robyn set up that open house just to get Vince alone in a sexy penthouse? Uh, no.
That sneaky ho.
Too bad you got all mature, 'cause in the old days, you would have made up some lame excuse and popped in there and busted her just so she would know she was messing with the wrong girl's man.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
And I'm going to do that again.
Okay.
Sorry you can't have champagne.
Oh, well, codeine has its own beauty.
[ sighs .]
To coming home.
[ chuckles .]
You said "home.
" I know.
Wow.
Look how far we've come.
- Very far, yes.
- Mm-hmm.
We actually have two kids.
Yeah, you've been in a coma a long time.
[ chuckles .]
Why are you nervous? I'm not nervous.
Yeah, whenever you get nervous, you make jokes.
Well, uh, I have a little something I wanted to talk to you about, so it might be making me a little nervous.
What? What? What? What is it? Hold on.
I can't tell you right now.
- Why? - 'Cause my lips are busy.
Oh.
Looks like our wedding photo.
Ha ha ha ha.
Okay.
I've been doing a lot of thinking the past few days, um, about us, about your accident, and, umit's made me realize how short life is, and then when I got that phone call -- Okay, honey, honey, it's just a little fracture, okay? No big deal.
I'm a tough guy.
You'll toughen up, too.
You'll see.
I mean, I've had cracked ribs, smoke inhalation.
I fractured a tibia.
Wait, wait.
Soyou've been in the hospital before this? Please! I have a bedpan with my name engraved on it.
[ chuckles .]
Wow.
So What you're saying is this isn't out of the ordinary? Every time you go to work, something like this could happen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Being married to me is a real rollercoaster, which, by the way, I can't go on becauseI'm scared of them.
Yeah.
Right.
I hate that feeling.
When your heart sinks into your stomach and you can't catch your breath -- it's like, "No, thank you.
" Ugh.
Yeah.
Anyway, I'm sorry.
You said you had something you wanted to tell me.
Ummm-hmm.
Yeah.
Lauren touched my boobies today.
Nice.
Holly, this place is so sweet! Damn, if I was single and rich -- but I'm neither, so why harp on it? [ doorbell rings .]
I got to go.
Someone's here to see the apartment.
It's me! Holly, what are you doing here? Well, since you canceled dinner tonight, I thought that we could have lunch together.
Oh, baby, that's really sweet, but I'm working.
Well, a man's got to eat, right? Whoa! This place is schmancy.
How many bedrooms do you have in this place? And is someone in any of them? No.
I'm all alone.
Whoa, gosh.
What a pretty door.
Is anything pretty behind it? Nice.
Nice.
Holly, I really appreciate you bringing lunch, and I would love to hang out.
Great! Then good.
No, no, no.
I mean, I really -- what if somebody comes in? Why? Are you expecting someone? Yeah, clients.
Oh! Well, great.
You know what? I should stay and act all interested.
Oh, it could hike up your price.
Uh, baby, I got that all covered.
It's all part of my spiel.
[ gasps .]
Ooh.
Spiel? Wow.
You sound all tycoon-y.
[ chuckles .]
Say it again.
Spiel, okay? Go? Wait.
Can you use it in a sentence? Can you go now, spiel? Okay.
I can take a hint.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
You know what? I did forget something.
I wonder how many square feet is in this place.
Ohh.
[ chuckles .]
[ smooching .]
Robyn.
Say what? Am I interrupting something? I knew it.
Yes, actually, you are.
I'm just kissing my man.
You know -- my man.
Well, I don't want to stand in the way of love.
Why don't you two get out of here? I'm -- I'm -- but I'm working.
Yeah, not so much anymore.
- What? - What? You were supposed to be working, not making out with some chick.
A client could have walked in.
The owners could have walked in.
Sorry, Vin.
You're fired.
[ gasps .]
Oh, my God.
Did you tell Vic you love him? What did he say? What did you say? Why are you here? I didn't say it.
You didn't say it? Why didn't you say it? Lauren, have you ever thought about what Vic does for a living? Yeah, he's one of New York's bravest.
I'm not.
I cannot live every day afraid -- terrified -- that he might not come home.
Oh, God! Why didn't I get drunk and marry an accountant?! [ telephone rings .]
Hello? Val, uh, it's Vic.
He says he's feeling really dirty and needs a sponge bath.
Well, I can't be around him right now.
Well, somebody's got to clean out his nooks and crannies.
I really appreciate this, Gary.
Yeah, whatever.
You know I'm not going below the nipples.
I won't do it.
Vince, Vince, wait! [ sighs .]
You are so smart and talented.
Another firm is gonna hire you in two seconds -- a better firm with a guy boss guy boss who likes girls.
You think this is so easy.
This was a huge break for me.
They don't just give jobs like these to bike messengers.
And I can't believe you actually came to my job to check up on me.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I did not come to check up on you.
I came to check up on her, which I was right about, by the way.
She so wants you.
Holly, I just got fired.
I know, and, Vince, I am so sorry.
Holly, I really liked that job, and I was good at it.
Which is why you're gonna have a million other opportunities.
You know I'm not.
I finally found something I wanted to do, and you screwed it all up.
I wouldn't have screwed it up if it wasn't for that Robyn.
God! Oh! Whoa! Hey.
What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in bed.
This could be very harmful to your recovery.
Now get back upstairs and don't be here.
Well, I miss my nurse.
Oh, jeez.
I told you, Vic, what happens in the sponge bath stays in the sponge bath.
Not you, her.
[ gasps .]
Ingrate.
So, what you doing? Working.
Oh.
Working hard or hardly working? [ chuckles .]
Ha ha.
Okay, can you not follow me? Okay.
[ chuckles .]
What is wrong with you? I hurt my pelvis, and I want attention.
Well, I can't give it to you.
- Why? - 'Cause I just can't! You said you were gonna take care of me, then in the middle of breakfast you got all weird.
What happened? II got a lot on my mind.
Well, let me help you.
I got nothing on mine.
Can't you just go back upstairs? Look, I don't get it.
A few nights ago we had this amazing kiss.
What happened between the kiss and the pelvis? You want to know what happened? You want to know what happened? [ sighs .]
This -- this happened, okay? And it could happen again.
It could happen every time you go out to work, and I can't handle that.
Baby, I'm fine, okay? [ high-pitched voice .]
See? [ inhales sharply .]
And down.
[ exhales sharply .]
Vic, this isn't funny.
Okay? Maybe next time you won't be so lucky.
I get that you're scared, okay? But I fight fires.
That's my job, and I love what I do.
You love almost dying? No.
No, that's not my favorite part of the job.
The hat's way cool.
"The hat's way cool.
" Okay, there you go again.
Just keep on joking, Vic, okay? Do you have any idea what that phone call did to me? No, you don't.
You want to wear a cool hat? Get a job as a wizard.
Hello? Rob? It's me -- Hol here to talk about Vin.
Look, Holly, I don't really have time.
I have some prospective buyers.
You want to make out with me in front of them, too? Okay, Robyncan we talk, womano a womano? [ sighs .]
I'm sorry.
Vince never asked me to come here.
I was just Checking up on him? Wow.
Pretty and smart.
Look, Robyn, Vince loves this job, and if you gave him another chance, I promise you'd realize that he's a huge asset to your company.
Oh, he is good, but, unfortunately, he has one problem, and I'm looking at it right now.
Ouch.
All right.
I get it.
Say no more.
I promise, if you let him come back, this will never happen again.
I suppose we could make a deal.
[ sighs .]
You rock! Rockin' Robyn! You haven't heard the deal yet.
Okay.
Lay it on me.
Vince comes back if you never show up at work again.
You want to lay that out a little more specifically? I never want to see you in the office again.
What's that, Rockin' Robyn? And if you do show up, Vince will be fired.
[ chuckles .]
Oh, my God.
I knew it.
You are trying to steal my boyfriend.
Wow.
Pretty and smart.
Solooks like the ball's in your court now, hon.
How much do you want your boyfriend to get his job back? All right.
Fine.
We'll do your little deal.
But there's something you have to know, baby girl.
This is not as sweet as it looks.
It's "go" time.
So go.
Don't worry.
I'm going.
Oh! Looks like somebody's codeine kicked in.
What? I'm going to be a wizard.
You are insane.
Well, I know it's ambitious, but just think how safe you'll be from the dragons.
Val, come here.
Remember that time I told you that there were only two things in my life that I was completely certain of -- joining the department and marrying you? Well, today when I realized that I couldn't have them both, that made my decision easy, so I quit.
You what? I quit.
Your job? No, drinking.
Wait, wait.
H-h-how could you quit your job? You love your job.
I thought that's what you wanted me to do.
How do you know what I want? I don't even know what I want.
You're a strange, strange woman.
Come here.
Come here.
Come here.
Yeah, no.
Come on.
You know you want to.
Come on.
Get up here.
[ sighs .]
Vic, I don't want you to quit your job.
It's just today when you started telling me about all your broken parts, I started to picture things, you know? Bad things.
And then seeing you here laying in the bed -- Baby, listen.
You're not the first firefighter's wife to freak out about her husband's job, okay? That's why when we quit, they give us a two-week grace period in case we change our minds.
It's called the "Holy crap, what did I get myself into?" period.
Is that really what they call it? No, baby, it's not what it's called.
But you can change your mind.
No, I don't think I can 'cause I would rather have you and worry than not have you.
Sohmm.
Six weeks laying around here.
What are you gonna do with yourself? Well, I was thinking maybe I could do a little bit of this a little bit of that some of this.
Mmm.
Oh, pelvis! Pelvis! Okay, sorry.
I'll just -- I'll go sleep upstairs.
Okay.
[ sighs .]
Okay, look.
I've been trying to say something to you all day, but it just hasn't been the right time, and, you know, I wanted to be romantic and everything with the candles and the music.
I love you, too.
[ gasps .]
Me too! Hmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Oh, pelvis pain! Pelvis pain! I'm going.
I'm going.
[ exhales sharply .]
Damn you!
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