Will and Grace s07e09 Episode Script

Saving Grace, Again (2)

Thanks again for taking me away this weekend This is exactly what I needed to get my mind off my anniversary Well, that's what we're gonna do In fact, for the rest of the weekend, let's just not mentionthe words "Leo", "marriage", "anniversary" or "ointment" - Ointment? - I just hate that word All right, just so we're clear, Will Are we allowed to mention the message Leo left that may or may not have said he was gonna meet Grace on the rooftop of the Peninsula Hotel to possibly rekindle the love they once had ointment? Let's just say for you, all words are off limits You know, honey the same policy with my staff They are not allowed to say insurance, fair wage, can I have Christmas off to visit my children? Or ointment That one sticks in my craw too Ooh Ooh, I'm vibrating Which means I have a text message on my vibrator Let's see "All Out TV executives should come up with an idea for a network promo.
" "It needs to send a positive message to the gay community.
" So it's saying your promo needs to be pro 'mo Gay puns don't work on you, dear.
No "No problem.
My promo will be pro 'mo.
" Jack That was hilarious Driver, turn the heat up! There's a little nip in the air Oh, make that two of 'em Forget about the heat What about this traffic? It's so annoying! We haven't moved in a half hour Let's go! Hey, hey, hey, hey Come on Let's forget the traffic and the cold The important thing is, we're all here for Grace Screw this crap.
Let's get outta here Turn off the air condition and put on the heat Now, let's pull out of this parking spot and hit the road! Àª & ±×·¹À̽º ÀÚ¸·Á¦ÀÛ - ³×ÀÌÆ® µå ó¸ 24 ÀÚ¸·ÆÀ Will & Grace ÀÚ¸·ÆÀ Á °ÇºÎ ¹èÆ÷ / ¼öÁ¤±ÝÁö ¹èÆ÷½Ã ÀÚ¸· Ãâó¸¦ ²À ¹àÇôÁÖ¼¼¿ä Jackie, I just wanna stop in here for a second - I have to use the bathroom - Welcome to the Peninsula Hotel - May I help you? - Yes, I'd like a suite please What are you talking about? I thought you said you had to go to the bathroom I do Make sure the toilet has a park view Oh, my God, Karen, look Oh, my God.
Look who it is It's that guy from that commercial years ago, remember? He used to dress in a devil outfit and sit on people's shoulders and offer them cocoa in a can He--he used to say "It's sinfully delicious.
" The Cocoa Devil! Honey, he's the one you should ask to be in your promo He's the perfect mid-level-celebrity-nobody for your mid-level-nothing cable network Gee, Karen, I don't know I mean, you just can't go up to somebody like that He's obviously very successful He's staying in a five star hotel Your suite's ready Oh, happy day, Margaret I see your bell's fixed Oh, my God.
You're a bellboy? But you're a great actor You belong on Broadway I will be This weekend I'm picking up a brunch shift at the Times Square Howard Johnson's That's funny I once picked up something from a Howard Johnson I met in Times Square That's why I hate the word "ointment" Hey, look, this has a video of all the stuff we can do here.
Ah Look at this one of the moon reflecting off the lake.
It's gorgeous Wait, the moon's reflecting off the lake I can't see the TV God, it's so great to get out of the city and just appreciate nature Yeah, watching all this fresh air can really build up an appetite.
Come on Let's order room service Oh, I think we can do a little bit better than room service Check that menu.
I don't think you'll find an herb chevre and caramelized onion panini Oh, a new special from Chez Gay! Yeah, I put 'em in your bag just before we left I woulda put 'em in my bag, but your bag already smelled like cheese - I'll get it - No, no, no, I'll get-- Oh, that's curious This bread is as hard as our answering machine How did that get in there? Every time I reach for my keys, I always grab an appliance Grace Okay, I-- I just wanted to see if I could get clear on what Leo was saying What are you expecting to hear? That he's actually gonna be on that rooftop at 9:00 tomorrow night? Fine.
Let's say that he is gonna be there - Then what? - What do you mean? Do you wanna go meet him? I mean, you could've gotten back with him any time in the last six months, but you didn't So what's changed? - Nothing - Nothing's changed - You're right - I am Because the romance and the moonlight and the anniversary don't make a bit of difference I know.
It's just--you know, the sound of his voice just was really-- I don't know, it just instantly brought me back to No.
No, no.
I am not gonna get sucked back into this again You're right.
You know what? I'm gonna get rid of this message right now Hey! You didn't have to throw it out! Yeah, well, you didn't have to throw out the blender just 'cause there was a spider in it It hissed and adopted an attack posture! You hissed and adopted an attack posture Don't worry We'll get a new machine It won't be the same I was saving a message from Vince Now all the swans in the lake are gonna know he calls me "fluffer-nutter" Wow, a gay network was "Cagney and Lacey" Well, let me tell you, we've come a long way Now there's an entire network devoted to reruns of "Cagney and Lacey" Hey, Jack Ah, Jimmy.
He's my arch nemesissy Did you hear the good news? I found the perfect spokesman for Out TV Oh, dear, is there a pay phone around? I need to call Ho-Jo's and get back on the sub list Actually, I already found someone It's the Sinfully Delicious Cocoa Devil Who could possibly be a better camp icon from the '70s? Let me just say again, Rip how trilled, honored and excited we all are to have you as the face of Out TV Oh, I'm excited myself! I can finally afford some new confetti Ah, excuse me, Jamie I don't mean to interrupt I believe I found the spokesperson for Out TV Here's my head shot I know the haircut's a bit outdated, but at the time, the Dorothy Hamill look was all the rage No, no, I remember you.
You're the guy from the cocoa commercial I also did three years at Williamstown, two seasons at the Guthrie, and spent a winter at the Old Vic Uh, look, nobody's concerned about your prison time here We just look at talent Rip, sorry, but we have to let you go How dare you! And if you think you can get any more confetti, you're not Who am I kidding? Can you give me a lift to the bus stop, please? Good work, Jack But I feel bad about the way I treated Rip I'm gonna let him shake out the three-hole punch before he leaves I love the local news.
It's so uplifting Those two old apple farmers lost everything in the fire and, yet, somehow managed to persevere Grace, you have to pay attention The crystal meth lab in their barn exploded Still, we should send money - I'm tired - Yeah, me too This is great It's so nice to be in a bed with sheets Thank you, Will For making me get rid of that message, being so rational You're welcome I wish I could turn off my feelings like you I'm just a big soppy romantic - Well, I have my romantic side too - Yeah What? I do I know, and I think it's great that you think you do Sweetie, I'm just say how grateful I am to have a best friend who makes decisions based on logic not emotion Well, it's not like I have no emotions I mean, just because my Grandma taught me that God hates boys who show emotion doesn't mean that I'm a robot It's good This whole Leo thing whether or not he wanted to meet me If so, do I go, do I want to? What does it all mean? I mean, I-- I woulda kept my foot in that door forever Mooning about what might be on the other side And you, you shut that door and locked it - I wouldn't say I shut-- - No, you did And thank you for making the decision for me I'm gonna sleep easy tonight Good night, Fluffer-nutter Honey, look at you in that headset You look like a high-powered TV exec Or someone who's about to hand me a shake Ooh, I'm getting something Yes, hello? Yes, hello? Yes, hello Yes, the talent is in make-up, and he'll be with you in five minutes He's a little behind I was in make-up before him Honey, do you think Winter White is a good color for Rosario's saddlebag? Feels so good to be wearing pancake again And not serving it at the International House Of Now may I see the script? Oh, no, no.
Heh-heh There's no script It's just two lines.
Yeah I need you to look the camera lens right there.
I need you to say "Watch Out TV.
" Watch Out TV I like that, it's smart Yes, yes, yes "It's sinfully delicious.
" I won't say that It's demeaning No, it's not Now put on your horns and your Dorothy Hamill wig and dance for your 50 bucks I can't.
I can never say those words again What are you talking about? Why do you think we hired ya? Because I'm a classically trained actor - I played Hamlet, Willy Loman, Iago - All in your cocoa devil outfit? Just Iago The world only knows me as a four-inch tall demon superimposed on Gabe Kaplan's shoulder Sure, I won a Clio and drove a brand new Mazda 626 But, like most actor in popular TV commercials, I became addicted to heroin But worst of all, I never got another job No one could ever see me as anything but that damn Cocoa Devil All right, come on, let's go, guys We're on a tight schedule We have to get that video camera back to PS 185 by 4:00 or my nephew gets suspended You're sinfully delicious! wait and see him with his pitchfork-- Listen you! I don't care about your sad life! You are gonna come up here You're gonna stand there And you're gonna look into the camera, and you're gonna do this commercial because there's 114 viewers who need to point at the screen and go, "Oh, look, it's that guy from that thing, I think"! I see Just give me a moment to prepare Honey, you were so manly The way you were hissing and spitting at him like that Karen, what you've just witnessed is the second definition of a tonguelashing at this network It's not pretty.
But it's effective It sure was Look what it's done for Cocoa D He's running like a man half his age Oh, my God! Karen, what do I do? This is devastating I can't breathe Everything's spinning I'm hearing voices Oh, right--yes, hello.
Yes, hello? Grace? Grace! - Bacon's ready - Is it burnt? I like it burnt Listen, last night when I made that big decision for you, I didn't, right? I mean, you-- You made it Not really.
It was all you But I mean, Karen and Jack weighed in too, right? Oh, please.
Karen and Jack? You think I'm gonna trust my love life to Vampira and the Adult Toddler? But you do listen to them Sweetie, half the time I don't listen to myself I don't have to.
I have you You're always so certain - I'm not certain - What? I'm not certain What do you mean? If you weren't certain why did you sound so certain? I always sound certain I talk that way on purpose to seem smarter and hide my insecurities My real voice is more like this! Okay.
No, no Will, what you said made sense Whether Leo's there or not, it doesn't matter Nothing's changed - Stop saying what I said! - Well, you were right - Well, I'm not certain! - About what? About anything A-a-a-about whether he'll be there, or if you should be there Or-Or if you two are destined to be together Or if chocolate is a mood enhancer 'cause it's never made me feel anything but regret Will, don't worry.
You don't have to be certain, 'cause I am It's about time I grew up and started making some sane rational choices Listen to yourself.
Sane? Rational? That's not you You're crazy You're the girl who took off her top at a Journey concert and threw it at the stage Twice! Because they didn't notice the first time Look, if you are not on that rooftop at 9:00 tonight you're gonna spend the rest of your life wondering whether or not he showed up because I talked you out of it Sweetie, don't flatter yourself I've got a mind of my own This is my decision - Really? - Yes Trust me.
I know what I want Okay.
Huh.
Okay Look, I'm gonna go sign us up for tree tapping They teach you how to make maple syrup I'll pass.
This is my last morning with sheets for awhile Margaret, please, I need my job back Doesn't 11 years of covering your affair mean anything to you? I'll take it from here, Margaret We're still on for 3:00, right? I'm sorry I ran out like that, but I won't go back I've got a good thing going here A job at a nice hotel, a three-speed bicycle, and a room at the Y No doubt you're living the dream But let me tell ya a little story Between my first and second marriages, I did what many girls in my position do I backpacked through Japan, Vietnam, and Bhutan One day while was worshipping in silence at the Golden Temple in Kyoto, I was discovered by a commercial director Hmm.
Long story short, I became the face of "Atooshi Kodki!" The energy drink of today's youth It was a health drink chock-full of vitamins, minerals, and 22 grams of nicotine Anyway, I became a sensation Everywhere I went, I was mobbed by Japanese people Fortunately, it was right around the time they invented pepper spray And you lost your entire sense of self Exactly However, years later when they discovered that nicotine was dangerous and replaced it with Ephedra and trace amounts baby laxative they offered me another commercial But I said no And that is a decision I have regretted ever since But why? You checked into a hotel just to pee - It seems like you have everything - Not everything! I would trade it all for the chance to be famous again It is the greatest thing any human can achieve You are never closer to God than when you are on television Now you say it - I don't think I can - Say it - No - Say it, bitch It's sinfully delicious I knew you'd be here Hi You know you went out for maple syrup What are you doing? I needed to know if he was gonna show up Why? Did you guys have plans for a romantic rendezvous, too? I'm here so that if any time in the future you start wondering if he came or not, I'll have the answer Oh Now I can't get mad at you for ditching me I didn't ditch you.
I took that awful bus so you could have the car You left me the car? Oops Look I like that you pay all my bills, and you do all my laundry, and make all my meals for me, but you really don't have to ake care of me anymore I feel like I do Well, you don't Although on our way out, I do need $675 for the taxi What about you? What are you doing here? - I came to take you home - Really? Not 'cause you wanted to see if he'd show? Nope Just for you Let's go So what are you gonna make me for dinner? Dinner? I thought I didn't have to take care of you anymore Baby steps, Will Hmm, guess it's not too late to glaze a ham Karen, thank you so much The spot went great I owe you a big favor Anything you ever need, just ask - Well, honey, in that case-- - No! Will you get off my back, woman? Atooshi Kodki! Atooshi Kodki! Come on! Karen, I don't understand.
Why are Japanese people always so into you? I have no idea, honey ÀÚ¸·Á¦ÀÛ - ³×ÀÌÆ® µå ó¸ 24 ÀÚ¸·ÆÀ Will & Grace ÀÚ¸·ÆÀ Á °ÇºÎ¹èÆ÷ / ¼öÁ¤±ÝÁö ¹èÆ÷½Ã ÀÚ¸· Ãâó¸¦ ²À ¹àÇôÁÖ¼¼¿ä