Wishbone (1995) s01e23 Episode Script

Bark to the Future

What's the story, Wishbone?
What's this your dreaming of?
Such big imagination
on such a little part.
What's the story, Wishbone?
Do you think it's worth a look?
It kind of seems familiar,
like a story from a book.
Shake a look now, Wishbone.
Let's wag another tale.
Sniffing out adventure
with Wishbone on the trail.
Come on, Wishphone.
What's the story, Wishbone?
What's the story, Wishbone?
What's the story, Wishbone?
This is the problem of time.
I'm hungry now, but snack time is later.
So, why can't later be now?
Snack time, Wishbone.
Oh, perfect timing!
There's just one other problem.
The snack's not here.
I've got to travel to
the kitchen for my snack.
So, let's see.
It's about 20 dogs.
steps from here to the kitchen.
And I travel at a rate of
two dog steps per second,
so it takes me 10 seconds
to get to my snack.
Ah, the distance I'll
go for ginger snaps.
Oh boy!
Hey, Ellen, I travel 10
whole seconds to get here.
How about a few extra snaps?
No, Wishbone.
You know the rules.
Three snaps a day, one box a week.
Uh, this box is supposed to last a week?
Hold on a second.
Let's see now.
Three snaps a day and
seven days in a week.
That's three snaps times
seven, which equals 21 snaps.
And there are 22 snaps in each box.
Hmm.
What's happening to that extra snap?
Ellen!
And to think I trusted you!
Come on.
How much school?
Hey, Miss Sabbath.
Hey, guys. How was school today?
All right.
Somehow I'm not convinced. What's up?
The math test.
We got them back today.
Can I see it?
C minus.
Joe, I know that you're
working very hard,
but if you don't make a
B on your report card,
I can't let you try out for basketball.
Come on, Joe, you can do that.
I mean, we still have two big
tests before a report cards.
I know, but I never have enough
time to finish Mr. Delgado's tests.
They're too hard.
Why don't you use a calculator?
I don't have one.
Well, here, you can have mine.
I've got another one at home.
Thanks, David.
No problem.
That'll speed things up on tests.
Besides, Mr. Delgado says we
should get used to using them.
It's required in high school.
Really?
Yeah.
Hold on, Joe.
You and I have already discussed this.
A calculator is not going to
solve all of your problems.
It's just a tool.
Yeah, I mean, I have a
calculator, but I still
have trouble with
fractions and percentages.
I know, I know.
Look! This one has a special button
for percent. Welcome to the future, Joe.
Thanks, David. Thanks a lot.
Can this little machine really
send Joe into the future?
Can it really solve all of his problems?
Only time will tell.
In 1895, H.G. Wells sent
readers into the future
with the science fiction
classic, the time machine.
The hero of our story is a
man who will defy convention.
He is a man who will use
technology to redefine travel.
He's quite brilliant.
And of course, good looking.
The hero is the time traveler.
This talk of time traveler.
This talk of time travel.
It's absurd.
But why?
Scientific people know very well
that time is only a kind of space.
Please, allow me.
Gentlemen, we are in perfect
agreement about movement
within the three accepted
dimensions of space.
I can move forward.
I can move backward.
I can move left.
I can move right.
I can move up and I can move down.
Yes, of course.
You can move about.
in all directions of space.
But you cannot move about in time.
All contraire, my friend.
Since I began this silly demonstration,
we've traveled at least 30 seconds.
But you have no control
over such movements.
We shall see.
Thank you, gentlemen, so long.
Farewell. Offit asane.
And good night.
Do come again.
So, they laugh at the time traveler.
They think time travel
is absurd, do they?
Well, clearly, they have
not seen my time machine.
All systems ready.
Destination, unknown.
Arrival time, unknown.
In case of emergency, keep your
hands and arms inside the vehicle.
Blast off!
The United States deflares war.
Robinson is the first of his race.
And not what your country is.
I have a dream today.
They're first meeting
with the American press.
One small fifth for man.
With conference.
Okay, this ride is over.
Oh my.
Oh my.
Have I really traveled to the year
8002,701?
And one?
Oh, hello there.
Allow me to introduce myself.
You must be anxious to know who I am.
I come from the year 1800 and
Oh, hello.
I was just telling these
people where I come from.
I come
Thank you very much, but I imagine
you would like to know who I am?
Hmm. These people
certainly aren't curious.
Strange? What was that?
I suppose I expected the people
of the future to be more curious.
I certainly didn't expect a
nation of giggling florists.
Maybe it's something in
the water they drink.
Such splendor.
such decay.
Such indolence.
35% is equal to 35 over 100.
Then I reduced that fraction
to the lowest terms.
And the answer is 720ths.
So, if percentages confuse you,
just treat them like fractions.
Excellent, Nathaniel. Thank you. Good.
Now, before tomorrow's test,
I want you to review the problem
- solving steps we covered this week.
Mr. Delgado, can we use a
calculator during the test?
Yes, Joe. You can bring your
calculator to check your work.
Just be careful.
The calculator is the calculator.
is only a tool. It's
not a problem solver.
You are the problem
solver. Many students use
their calculators as an excuse to stop
thinking, and they become indolent.
What does indolent mean?
Indolent means lazy,
Amanda. When students let
calculators do all their
work, they become indolent,
and their mind shrink.
Your mind can shrink?
Well, your mind is like a muscle,
Samantha. You need to challenge it.
otherwise it weakens.
Blue J's and the
Hello!
Earth to Joe! Come in, Joe!
Hey, how much time can you spend doing
nothing in front of a talking box?
Easy whisper? This is my favorite show.
Hey, Joe, I was just going
through some old magazines and
Joe, you've been lying
there for over an hour.
Don't you have a math test tomorrow?
I'm ready.
Are you sure?
Well, ever since I got that calculator.
later. The problems have been easier.
Okay.
And you're a lot less
fun. Come on, buddy.
If you've got so much free time,
spend it on something useful.
Like the little dog.
All right, wishbone.
Oh, that must be the pizza.
I ordered out for us.
Let me get that. Do me a favor.
Pay him and give him a 15% tip.
Mmm, pizza! Pizza!
Pita!
Ooh! Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza.
Hi.
Hi.
Pepper peats, under 30 minutes.
Uh, extra cheese and sausage?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's right. How much is it?
It's, um, $10 even.
Hold on one time.
Okay, $10, so that's $10 plus tip.
What's 15%?
Come on, buddy.
A dog could figure this one out.
15 cents.
No, no.
Under 30 minutes.
No.
I know that.
I meant, uh
$15?
Yeah.
Joe!
That calculator was supposed
to take you forward.
But you, my friend, are moving backward.
How advanced are the
people of the future?
How advanced are the
people of the future?
When the time traveler meets a new friend,
he makes some startling discoveries.
So, no one ever gets sick.
And that are never any wars?
Fascinating.
But what about work?
Does anyone ever spend any time working?
I see.
What is your name?
Uh
What?
What are you called?
Ah
Who are you?
I am Weena.
You are man.
I'm convinced.
It's something in the water.
Please.
Show me your country.
Come.
Oh my. This is your library.
of William Shakespeare.
Tomorrow and tomorrow
and tomorrow and tomorrow
creeps in this petty pace from day to day
to the last syllable recorded time.
And all our yesterdays have lighted
fools the way to dusty death.
Dusty Death.
Wiener, how can you laugh?
Don't these books mean anything?
anything to you. Don't you read?
Read? What is read?
But weena, reading is fundamental.
Is fun?
Fundamental.
Wiener, I'm beginning to feel like
I've built the time machine in vain.
Gads, Sox!
The time machine! It's gone!
Who?
There's someone in there with my machine.
We know? What's wrong?
More locks!
More locks!
So the time machine had been
captured, captured by a people
more alien, more menacing
than the harmless pink people.
And the time traveler seemed helpless.
Word problems?
Word problems?
That's right.
Word problems.
Just think each one through.
It's just like regular
math once you think it out.
Think it through.
Think it through.
Okay. I can do this.
Problem, Joe?
I don't have my calculator.
Joe, relax.
Just use paper and pencil.
You know this stuff's solid.
It must be bad.
It must be bad.
I'm sorry, Mom.
Ooh, it's official.
It's bad.
I know you are. I know you are, Joe.
Holy cow! This isn't
bad. It's a disaster.
Joe, I don't want you to
miss basketball tryouts,
but I have to be honest.
It's not looking real good.
Well, I've still got one
more test before the report
cards, and I'm sure I
could pull my average up.
If only I had my calculator.
Joe, you should be able to do the work.
without the calculator.
I'll tell you what.
If you really want another one,
I think I know how you
can earn the money.
Well, how?
Wanda's having a yard sale on Saturday,
and I'm sure she'd pay
you to help her out.
All day?
Joe.
Trust me, it'll be worth your time.
It's $1.79?
Okay, so it's $1.79, and
you've given me $2 and $4.
So that's going to be
P.
Pts, Joe, give him a quarter.
That's $25 in change.
A quarter, that's right.
There you go.
Thanks for filling in
his cashier today, Joe.
No problem.
Business should be brisk, so be prepared.
I'm paying you 10% of the sales.
10%?
Uh-oh, here we go again.
Oh, sorry, there's no calculator.
Oh, hey.
Use this.
No, it's all right. I'm fine.
No, it's all right, I'm fine.
Famous last words.
Hello, sir.
You want to buy all right?
of this?
Yeah, that's right, young man.
Now, listen, I don't have much time,
so I'm going to walk you through this.
This jacket is 10% off.
This tie, 30%, these gloves, 40%.
This pan is marked down by 55%.
This paperweight by third.
These sunglasses by three quarters.
And this hat.
Come on, buddy.
Don't freeze up on me.
You can do this.
You just need some tools.
Okay.
So this jacket's 10%?
That's right.
10% off the ticketed price.
Look, I'm really in a rush.
Actually, I am too.
Yes, ma'am. Of course.
Okay, so this jacket's 10% off.
We're clear on that. Now,
take the pencil and paper.
Let's go, kid. I don't have time.
Excuse me, I'm really in a rush.
So could you please hurry
with this gentleman?
Yes, ma'am. Everything's under control.
Joe, you've got the tools.
They're right under your nose.
Now, use them.
We know we need tools to save the
time machine from the moorlocks.
I've come to the future ill-equipped.
Perhaps there.
Please, take me to that
palace of green porcelain.
Let's try in here.
Let's try in here.
So, this is the progress of humanity.
Oh.
Wiena, what's wrong?
Please, no dark.
Hang on.
There's nothing to be afraid of, we know.
Except Morlocks.
Be very afraid of Morlocks!
Please! Guys! Please!
Don't kick a dog when he's down.
Look! See? I'm down.
What's happened to the Morlocks?
Morlocks?
Morlocks no like light.
The Morlocks are terrified of light.
That gives me an idea.
Matches.
And camphor.
The recipe for light!
We found our tools.
Come along, weena.
Ten percent.
What's the problem?
There's no problem.
Uh, ten percent.
That's
Let's see now.
This should do the trick.
You?
That's a fraction?
One tenth. That's a fraction.
That's my boy!
Are we okay here, Jeff?
Yeah. I'm just taking me the tenth
of the total before I subtract.
Oh, well, that's great, but
let me show you a little trick.
Now this jacket is $25.
Just move the decimal
point, one space to the left, and voila.
You got your 10 percent.
So ten percent.
of $25 is $250.
It's moments like this
that make me proud.
Look, look, I hate to
interrupt math class, but
No problem, sir.
Your jacket's 2250.
Now, the tie is 30% off.
So that's three-tenths
down, which makes it
Keep moving, Joe. You're on your way!
With the light of a
torch to protect them,
the time traveler and we
know race through the night
to recover.
time machine.
We're tired.
Please, Wiener. We must continue.
The light may not last.
Fall up!
The doors are open, and my
time machine lies within.
This may be a trap, but I must be bold.
Farewell, Weena.
Please wait.
Thank you for your kindness, Weena.
I won't forget you, or the future.
Morlocks or no, I'm going home.
$218.70.
That matches the days
total. Great work, Joe.
I think we may have an
accountant in the family.
I'll say, you should
have seen him with that
pencil and paper. He's
a human calculator.
He had a little help.
How'd you make out, Joe?
I promised him 10%.
Joe?
$21.87.
How did you figure that out so fast?
Easy. It's one-tenth of the sales.
Excuse me.
Well, I'm very impressed with you, Joe.
That's no surprise.
Thanks, Mom.
You were right about the calculator.
It's useful after you learn the math.
Now I'll know what I'm doing.
And, uh, speaking of calculators
Hey, Joe, lose something?
My calculator! Where'd that come from?
Don't ask me.
Between you and me, I had
it hidden the whole time.
The kids.
The kid needed to learn the hard way.
Yeah, well, now that you have
it back, you can start studying.
You've still got one more test.
Okay.
Once again, Joe's got his machine.
Where will it take him this time?
The time traveler returned home.
Only to vanish once
again into the future.
He's gone.
All that he left was a story.
strange white flower to witness that
even when mind and strength had gone,
gratitude and a mutual tenderness
still lived on in the heart of mankind.
We can only wonder, will he ever return?
Please, Ellen, I want some more.
Here you go, Wishbone.
Yes.
Three snaps.
Hi, Mom. Hi Wishbone.
Hey, guys.
Hey, Mrs. Halbert.
How'd it go, Joe?
A minus.
Oh, congratulations.
Oh, that's so great.
It gives him a B on his report card.
I knew you could do it.
A piece of cake.
Oh, yeah.
I stopped at the grocery store to
pick up Wishbone's ginger snaps.
Oh, thank you.
But this time, I checked the unit price.
Unit price?
Four hundred percent more.
That's four times as many snaps.
That's four times as many snaps.
at only two times the price.
It's a lot more economical.
Good thinking, Joe.
Great thinking, Joe!
See, 88 snaps divided by seven.
Let's see, that's 12 snaps a day.
At 12 snaps a day!
Wow!
And four to spare for Ellen!
And I mean it, just four.
Ellen, just four!
A glittering metallic framework.
That's almost all H.G Wells wrote
to describe the time machine.
It's a description that left
a lot to the imagination
of our art department.
With the time machine,
well, what is it? What
does it look like? What
should it look like?
You don't need a machine to
travel to exciting places.
After all, who needs horsepower
when you've got brain power?
Books can take you anywhere. So
open one up to start your journey.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
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