Wolverine and the X-Men (2008) s01e07 Episode Script
Wolverine Vs. Hulk
LOGAN: Previously on Wolverine and the X-Men.
Mutants are a danger to us all, despite the protection of these fine officers from the MRD.
Where is he? Where's who? Wanna play it that way? Fine.
You're all under arrest.
On what charge? Harboring a fugitive mutant.
[GROWLING.]
Get clear! We'll handle him.
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GRUMBLING.]
Who wants some? Code 10.
Abort! Abort! [YELLS.]
KELLY: I've been assured by the president that the Mutant Registration Act will be signed tomorrow.
So, X-Men, your days are numbered.
[.]
[MAN SCREAMS.]
Abort.
I repeat, abort the mission! Barton, do you copy? We need an evac now! [CREATURE GROWLS.]
[PANTING.]
[CREATURE GROWLS.]
Anderson! [ANDERSON SCREAMS.]
[CREATURE GROWLS, MAN SCREAMS.]
[WHIMPERING.]
Sloan.
Sloan, report.
I don't have a visual.
I don't have-- [BOTH PANTING.]
[SCREAMS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Go! Go! [PANTING.]
[ROARS.]
[.]
[BOTH WHIMPER.]
[GROWLING.]
[GROWLS.]
[MOTORCYCLE REVS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[SIRENS WAILING.]
[GROWLS.]
[ALL GRUNTING.]
[GROWLS.]
[GUNS COCK.]
[GUNS COCK.]
HASKETT: It's over, mutant.
Make this easy on yourself.
Surrender.
That's funny.
I was just about to tell you the same thing, Bub.
[HELICOPTER WHIRRING.]
[.]
What is this? Who are you people? Your operation's over, mutant hunter.
Pack up your gear.
Get outta here.
What? I don't know who you think you are, but we're the Mutant Response Div-- [WALKIE-TALKIE CRACKLES.]
This is Haskett, over.
What? We've got-- But I have orders.
[SIGHS.]
S.
H.
I.
E.
L.
D.
Sir! Director Fury, sir.
MRD, we are pulling out now.
Hi, Nick.
Long time no see.
Let me buy you a cup of coffee, Logan.
I should've taken my chances with the MRD.
Don't tell me S.
H.
I.
E.
L.
D.
is finally getting into the mutant game.
No, that's politics.
And trust me, if we ever do get involved, you'll know.
That's comforting.
But right now, I've got something you might be able to help me with.
An old sparring partner of yours, actually.
The Hulk.
[ROARS.]
He's been spotted in the Canadian Rockies.
Two towns have been destroyed already, and he's heading for a third.
Won't be long before he reaches the states.
Have fun with that.
Good seeing you, Nick.
Thanks for the coffee.
Katherine Pryde, Robert Drake, Scott Summers, Ororo Munroe, Henry McCoy, Kurt Wagner.
Do you need me to keep going? Nice school you rebuilt there in Westchester, by the way.
Information is S.
H.
I.
E.
L.
D.
's business, Logan, but sometimes information falls into the wrong hands.
The hands of certain mutant-hating senators, for instance.
And just think: You doing a small favor for me could prevent that.
S.
H.
I.
E.
L.
D.
wants you to deal with the Hulk permanently.
You do this and the names and location of the X-Men stay secret.
That's the deal.
You know, one day, Fury, you and me are gonna have some serious words.
I look forward to that.
Heh.
What happened to you, Logan? This kind of thing used to be your idea of fun.
[SNIFFS.]
[.]
[SNIFFS.]
[CREATURE GROWLING.]
[HULK ROARING.]
Fun.
Right.
[ROARS.]
[HULK ROARS.]
[GROWLS.]
Okay, Hulk.
You choose.
You can just calm down and we can do this the easy way, or Hulk remember.
[GROWLS.]
Hulk remember you! [ROARS.]
So much for the easy way.
[ROARS.]
Aw, crud.
[GROANS.]
[YELPS.]
[BOTH GROWLING.]
[WHEEZES.]
Hulk-- [GROANING.]
Hulk sma Hulk smash.
Yeah, I know.
I heard you the last time.
[GROANS.]
Huh? What? LOGAN: Bruce Banner, a.
k.
a.
the Hulk.
Nick Fury says hi, by the way.
Fury.
Yeah.
Now the Hulk I know just wants to be left alone.
Not so much into wrecking towns just for the heck of it.
Who are you? And I figure, since every word that comes out of Fury's mouth is half a lie, I should get your side of this.
Do I know you? Part of you does.
S.
H.
I.
E.
L.
D.
was tracking a monster in the Canadian wilderness.
Some nonsense about a hiker falling under a mystical curse, turning him into Bigfoot, but people were being hurt, so Fury came to me for help.
I know a thing or two about monsters.
S.
H.
I.
E.
L.
D.
had collected reams of data on the creature, even blood samples, and they had gotten a location on it.
Over the years, I had developed dozens of cures for the Hulk, all failures, but with S.
H.
I.
E.
L.
D.
's data and with my own research, I was able to create a cure for this monster.
I thought I was going to help them administer the cure, and I was, just not in the way I thought.
They needed a cure.
[GASPS.]
No! But equally important, they needed bait.
[SCREAMS.]
[ROARS.]
[GROWLING.]
I have to go.
The cure, it's out there somewhere.
I saw it.
I mean, the Hulk saw it.
Ah, my memories are so vague.
It must be in the helicopter.
It crashed.
[SNIFFS.]
I can smell it, the gasoline, the burnt metal.
I'll find it.
But we're not alone out here.
It's tracking us.
What? What should we do? [.]
[PANTING.]
I-- I can't-- I can't keep up.
Just go, find it.
The copter is just over the next ridge.
I keep seeing flashes of the creature.
The Hulk's memories, all the destruction, the towns.
The Hulk was fighting it.
Yeah, that's wonderful, Banner.
Now, if you don't mind, how about you get moving and-- [CREATURE GROWLING.]
[ROARING.]
You're a big one, aren't you? Fury should've sent me in first.
This would've been over a long time ago.
No, wait! Something isn't right.
My memories from the Hulk-- Th-there's something else.
There's more.
[CREATURES GROWLING.]
The creature, the Wendigo, it-- Its bite must've infected other people.
Thanks for the heads-up.
[CREATURES GROWLING.]
[ROARS.]
[BOTH GROWLING.]
[ROARS.]
Go! Get to the copter.
I'll keep these things busy.
What? But you'll be-- Go! Let's do this.
[GROWLING.]
[PANTING.]
[GRUNTING.]
That's inconvenient.
[WENDIGO GROWLING.]
LOGAN: Hey, furball.
Don't think I forgot about you.
[ROARING.]
[FISTS THUDDING.]
[GRUNTING.]
[CREATURES GROWLING.]
Come on, Bruce.
You can do this.
[GRUNTING.]
[GROWLING.]
[.]
[GRUNTS.]
Banner! Banner! [CREATURES GROWLING.]
[HULK ROARING.]
Uh-oh.
[HULK ROARING.]
Yeah, and there's more where that came from.
[ALL GRUNTING.]
[HULK GRUNTING.]
[GRUNTING.]
Aw, come on! [HULK GRUNTING.]
What am I supposed to do? Make 'em drink it? [CREATURES GROWLING.]
[GUN COCKS.]
[BOTH GRUNT.]
Hulk remember you! [GRUNTING.]
Little man thinks he can fight Hulk? Hulk is strongest there is! [GASPS.]
Hulk! Hulk, behind-- Hulk not a behind! [BOTH GRUNTING.]
This better flipping work, Banner.
[BOTH GROWLING.]
[SCREAMS.]
[ALL WHEEZING.]
[COUGHING.]
[GROANS.]
[GROWLS.]
[ROARING.]
Oh, you gotta be kidding me, Fury.
Mystical curse, my-- Stupid man hunt Hulk? Attack Hulk? Hulk smash stupid man! Yeah, about that.
Sorry, my fault.
Won't happen again.
[GROWLS.]
Good.
Little man not so stupid after all.
[GRUNTS.]
[BANNER GROANS.]
What happened? [COUGHS.]
Trust me, you don't wanna know.
[.]
Nice work, Logan.
Maybe you should be working for S.
H.
I.
E.
L.
D.
full-time.
You saved a lot of innocent lives today.
Is that what I did? Huh.
'Cause the way I see it, all I did here was clean up your mess.
Excuse me? Pretty convenient you had all that data for Banner's cure, and you knew right where the monster was.
Of course, it's pretty easy information to get when you created it all.
You purposely created that thing? For what? A super-soldier? A monster under your control? Monsters can't be controlled.
[CHUCKLES.]
Boy, am I in trouble now.
S.
H.
I.
E.
L.
D.
doesn't answer to you two.
You're just tools to be used when I see fit.
Get it? Oh yeah, I get it, but know this: If you ever breathe a word about what you've got on the X-Men to anyone, I'll make sure the people who pay you know exactly what you're doing out here.
Fine.
Oh, and one last thing.
What are you doing? Hulk wanted to thank you too.
[GRUNTING.]
[HULK GROWLING.]
[ROARS.]
[FIST THUDS.]
[GRUNTS, YELLS.]
Have fun, Fury.
[.]
Mutants are a danger to us all, despite the protection of these fine officers from the MRD.
Where is he? Where's who? Wanna play it that way? Fine.
You're all under arrest.
On what charge? Harboring a fugitive mutant.
[GROWLING.]
Get clear! We'll handle him.
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GRUMBLING.]
Who wants some? Code 10.
Abort! Abort! [YELLS.]
KELLY: I've been assured by the president that the Mutant Registration Act will be signed tomorrow.
So, X-Men, your days are numbered.
[.]
[MAN SCREAMS.]
Abort.
I repeat, abort the mission! Barton, do you copy? We need an evac now! [CREATURE GROWLS.]
[PANTING.]
[CREATURE GROWLS.]
Anderson! [ANDERSON SCREAMS.]
[CREATURE GROWLS, MAN SCREAMS.]
[WHIMPERING.]
Sloan.
Sloan, report.
I don't have a visual.
I don't have-- [BOTH PANTING.]
[SCREAMS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Go! Go! [PANTING.]
[ROARS.]
[.]
[BOTH WHIMPER.]
[GROWLING.]
[GROWLS.]
[MOTORCYCLE REVS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[SIRENS WAILING.]
[GROWLS.]
[ALL GRUNTING.]
[GROWLS.]
[GUNS COCK.]
[GUNS COCK.]
HASKETT: It's over, mutant.
Make this easy on yourself.
Surrender.
That's funny.
I was just about to tell you the same thing, Bub.
[HELICOPTER WHIRRING.]
[.]
What is this? Who are you people? Your operation's over, mutant hunter.
Pack up your gear.
Get outta here.
What? I don't know who you think you are, but we're the Mutant Response Div-- [WALKIE-TALKIE CRACKLES.]
This is Haskett, over.
What? We've got-- But I have orders.
[SIGHS.]
S.
H.
I.
E.
L.
D.
Sir! Director Fury, sir.
MRD, we are pulling out now.
Hi, Nick.
Long time no see.
Let me buy you a cup of coffee, Logan.
I should've taken my chances with the MRD.
Don't tell me S.
H.
I.
E.
L.
D.
is finally getting into the mutant game.
No, that's politics.
And trust me, if we ever do get involved, you'll know.
That's comforting.
But right now, I've got something you might be able to help me with.
An old sparring partner of yours, actually.
The Hulk.
[ROARS.]
He's been spotted in the Canadian Rockies.
Two towns have been destroyed already, and he's heading for a third.
Won't be long before he reaches the states.
Have fun with that.
Good seeing you, Nick.
Thanks for the coffee.
Katherine Pryde, Robert Drake, Scott Summers, Ororo Munroe, Henry McCoy, Kurt Wagner.
Do you need me to keep going? Nice school you rebuilt there in Westchester, by the way.
Information is S.
H.
I.
E.
L.
D.
's business, Logan, but sometimes information falls into the wrong hands.
The hands of certain mutant-hating senators, for instance.
And just think: You doing a small favor for me could prevent that.
S.
H.
I.
E.
L.
D.
wants you to deal with the Hulk permanently.
You do this and the names and location of the X-Men stay secret.
That's the deal.
You know, one day, Fury, you and me are gonna have some serious words.
I look forward to that.
Heh.
What happened to you, Logan? This kind of thing used to be your idea of fun.
[SNIFFS.]
[.]
[SNIFFS.]
[CREATURE GROWLING.]
[HULK ROARING.]
Fun.
Right.
[ROARS.]
[HULK ROARS.]
[GROWLS.]
Okay, Hulk.
You choose.
You can just calm down and we can do this the easy way, or Hulk remember.
[GROWLS.]
Hulk remember you! [ROARS.]
So much for the easy way.
[ROARS.]
Aw, crud.
[GROANS.]
[YELPS.]
[BOTH GROWLING.]
[WHEEZES.]
Hulk-- [GROANING.]
Hulk sma Hulk smash.
Yeah, I know.
I heard you the last time.
[GROANS.]
Huh? What? LOGAN: Bruce Banner, a.
k.
a.
the Hulk.
Nick Fury says hi, by the way.
Fury.
Yeah.
Now the Hulk I know just wants to be left alone.
Not so much into wrecking towns just for the heck of it.
Who are you? And I figure, since every word that comes out of Fury's mouth is half a lie, I should get your side of this.
Do I know you? Part of you does.
S.
H.
I.
E.
L.
D.
was tracking a monster in the Canadian wilderness.
Some nonsense about a hiker falling under a mystical curse, turning him into Bigfoot, but people were being hurt, so Fury came to me for help.
I know a thing or two about monsters.
S.
H.
I.
E.
L.
D.
had collected reams of data on the creature, even blood samples, and they had gotten a location on it.
Over the years, I had developed dozens of cures for the Hulk, all failures, but with S.
H.
I.
E.
L.
D.
's data and with my own research, I was able to create a cure for this monster.
I thought I was going to help them administer the cure, and I was, just not in the way I thought.
They needed a cure.
[GASPS.]
No! But equally important, they needed bait.
[SCREAMS.]
[ROARS.]
[GROWLING.]
I have to go.
The cure, it's out there somewhere.
I saw it.
I mean, the Hulk saw it.
Ah, my memories are so vague.
It must be in the helicopter.
It crashed.
[SNIFFS.]
I can smell it, the gasoline, the burnt metal.
I'll find it.
But we're not alone out here.
It's tracking us.
What? What should we do? [.]
[PANTING.]
I-- I can't-- I can't keep up.
Just go, find it.
The copter is just over the next ridge.
I keep seeing flashes of the creature.
The Hulk's memories, all the destruction, the towns.
The Hulk was fighting it.
Yeah, that's wonderful, Banner.
Now, if you don't mind, how about you get moving and-- [CREATURE GROWLING.]
[ROARING.]
You're a big one, aren't you? Fury should've sent me in first.
This would've been over a long time ago.
No, wait! Something isn't right.
My memories from the Hulk-- Th-there's something else.
There's more.
[CREATURES GROWLING.]
The creature, the Wendigo, it-- Its bite must've infected other people.
Thanks for the heads-up.
[CREATURES GROWLING.]
[ROARS.]
[BOTH GROWLING.]
[ROARS.]
Go! Get to the copter.
I'll keep these things busy.
What? But you'll be-- Go! Let's do this.
[GROWLING.]
[PANTING.]
[GRUNTING.]
That's inconvenient.
[WENDIGO GROWLING.]
LOGAN: Hey, furball.
Don't think I forgot about you.
[ROARING.]
[FISTS THUDDING.]
[GRUNTING.]
[CREATURES GROWLING.]
Come on, Bruce.
You can do this.
[GRUNTING.]
[GROWLING.]
[.]
[GRUNTS.]
Banner! Banner! [CREATURES GROWLING.]
[HULK ROARING.]
Uh-oh.
[HULK ROARING.]
Yeah, and there's more where that came from.
[ALL GRUNTING.]
[HULK GRUNTING.]
[GRUNTING.]
Aw, come on! [HULK GRUNTING.]
What am I supposed to do? Make 'em drink it? [CREATURES GROWLING.]
[GUN COCKS.]
[BOTH GRUNT.]
Hulk remember you! [GRUNTING.]
Little man thinks he can fight Hulk? Hulk is strongest there is! [GASPS.]
Hulk! Hulk, behind-- Hulk not a behind! [BOTH GRUNTING.]
This better flipping work, Banner.
[BOTH GROWLING.]
[SCREAMS.]
[ALL WHEEZING.]
[COUGHING.]
[GROANS.]
[GROWLS.]
[ROARING.]
Oh, you gotta be kidding me, Fury.
Mystical curse, my-- Stupid man hunt Hulk? Attack Hulk? Hulk smash stupid man! Yeah, about that.
Sorry, my fault.
Won't happen again.
[GROWLS.]
Good.
Little man not so stupid after all.
[GRUNTS.]
[BANNER GROANS.]
What happened? [COUGHS.]
Trust me, you don't wanna know.
[.]
Nice work, Logan.
Maybe you should be working for S.
H.
I.
E.
L.
D.
full-time.
You saved a lot of innocent lives today.
Is that what I did? Huh.
'Cause the way I see it, all I did here was clean up your mess.
Excuse me? Pretty convenient you had all that data for Banner's cure, and you knew right where the monster was.
Of course, it's pretty easy information to get when you created it all.
You purposely created that thing? For what? A super-soldier? A monster under your control? Monsters can't be controlled.
[CHUCKLES.]
Boy, am I in trouble now.
S.
H.
I.
E.
L.
D.
doesn't answer to you two.
You're just tools to be used when I see fit.
Get it? Oh yeah, I get it, but know this: If you ever breathe a word about what you've got on the X-Men to anyone, I'll make sure the people who pay you know exactly what you're doing out here.
Fine.
Oh, and one last thing.
What are you doing? Hulk wanted to thank you too.
[GRUNTING.]
[HULK GROWLING.]
[ROARS.]
[FIST THUDS.]
[GRUNTS, YELLS.]
Have fun, Fury.
[.]