Workin' Moms (2017) s03e10 Episode Script

Creamed

1 Frankie: Previously on "Workin' Moms" - What do you think? - Wow, what a beautiful crossery.
Nursery.
Wait, what did I say? I just filed a sexual harassment suit against you, bud.
- Why would you do that? - (Vomit splashes) Oh, it's all cereal and pico de gallo! Is that my fucking gun? Gimme that! This is self defence! Go! (Sighs) (Knock on door) (Ella cries) - (Rapid knocking) - Okay, I'm coming.
Stop! I hear you! Ugh! How 'bout you bang louder next time? - Why? - Why? How can I help you? - Are you Kate Foster? - Why? You need to answer yes or no, so I can do the next part.
Oh my-oh my God, are you serving me right now? - No.
- Fine, I'm Kate Fos - You've been served! - You don't have to say it.
- Served! You've been served.
- Get outta here! Scram! (Papers rustle) (Gasps, sighs) Looks like mommy's a predator.
- Kate: Hey.
- Oh, hey.
I'm so sorry I'm running late.
Should we just go in and Wait, something goin' on? You okay? Oh yeah uh, just a little little hiccup of a work thing, just a little work legal lawsuit.
Kinda-but I'm figuring it out.
I got it.
- Are you suing somebody? - No, I am not.
- Oh, someone's suing you.
- Yeah.
You know, I'm a lawyer, I can help.
You don't wanna be involved with this, trust me.
Yes, I do! I do.
It's embarrassing.
Hey, no judgment.
Come on, tell me.
Okay.
(Envelope rustles) (Sighs) - Sexual harassment? - You said no judgment! I'm sorry, I just Richard's son? Foreskin Forrest? Yeah, that's him.
Ugh God, but it doesn't even make sense why he's doing this.
It was a completely consensual, healthy-ish relationship.
But he worked for you? He did work for me, yup.
- Not wise.
- Okay.
Ugh, I guess this is what happens when ya hook up with a 22-year-old.
Kate, - he's not 22.
- Well yeah.
Hm.
Oh my God.
Okay um, I'm gonna get ya outta this.
I promise.
I'll try it, but going to a movie and dinner by myself? - I'll look like a loser.
- No, you'll look like someone who's comfortable in his own skin.
- Women like that.
- Okay, yeah, I-I'll do it.
Great.
I expect a full report next week.
Hey, um, so did you take it to the police? - Sorry? - The gun.
Yes, yup.
Took it, filled out all the paperwork and yup, all that.
(Sighs) Okay.
Wow, that was so brave of you.
I keep replaying the whole thing in my head, and I gotta say, you looked so comfortable holding that thing.
(Gunshots pop) Man: All clear! There ya go! What?! Nice form! Remember, the stronger your grip, the more control you're gonna have over that recoil.
- How's it feel? - Great.
Really great! (Frankie sighs) (Floorboards creak) Can I ask you a question? Like how much-how much do you love Jesus? I never thought to measure it.
Like, I love Donald Sutherland, but I'm not gonna wait outside his hotel when he's in town.
So uh it makes you uncomfortable.
Listen, I'm sure Jesus is a solid dude, but yeah, I'm not gonna lie, the people who love him kinda make me squeamish.
I get that.
(Sheets rustle) Look, when I was a kid, my family was religious, and I thought it was weird too.
But then, when I couldn't get pregnant, I started thinking maybe there's something to praying, so I started.
And then this happened.
And I can't stop now, Frankie.
Well, that's that's more like superstition.
No, it's more than that.
I like the way my faith makes me feel.
I like having a community, a family.
Well, you do have a family.
Right, me, G, Rhodes, Juniper.
I know, she's an acquired taste.
Mhmm.
You know, maybe we should all spend some more time together, have a dinner.
Okay.
Just take it easy on the Jesus, 'cause I'll try not to speak in tongues.
- Deal.
- (Chuckles) Good night.
Good night.
(Sheets rustle) (Phone chimes) - Nathan: What's up? - Oh, uh nothing.
Hey, should I call the school? Am I gonna be late to pick up Charlie? Don't worry.
If Forrest is as dumb as you say he is, this won't take long.
Um, you know what? Call your mother, have her pick up Charlie.
What? Why? I didn't know he got Ginny Kelly.
Who is-do you know her? - Everybody knows her.
She's - The best! (Clears throat) Have a seat, everyone! As a result of an inappropriate sexual relationship in the workplace, Mr.
Greenwood is seeking damages for emotional distress amounting to $50,000.
The purpose of this cross-examination is to find possible solutions to avoid going to trial.
Ms.
Kelly, you may begin.
Ms.
Foster, am I correct that the requirements of Mr.
Greenwood's job were that he be of complete service to you, outside the confines of the office and beyond the hours of 9 to 5? Well, assistance, not service.
And Ms.
Foster, do you think you created an environment in which Mr.
Greenwood may have found it difficult to discern which needs were professional, and which were carnal? I mean, you would have to be a complete moron - to not know the difference.
- You're a moron! On the evening the relationship was consummated, Mr.
Greenwood claims he came to your residence under the pretense of a work-related call.
My client has no memory of this phone call.
- None.
- Yes, you do.
You said it was your birthday, so I couldn't like, - not come over.
- Mhmm.
And so, from this point on, young Mr.
Greenwood here, had no choice, but to assume that sexual favors were a condition of his job description.
Unless you have a transcript of this phone call, - you have no legs to stand on.
- No legs.
Legless.
Ms.
Foster, what is the official workplace romance and sexual harassment policy at Kate Foster Public Relations? Well, we um, we have been really it's just not typed We don't have one.
Because that would have completely upended - your entire plan.
- Oh, let me guess, pearls over here, thinks I just run a PR firm to enlist young male assistants for sexual servitude.
- Kate, stop talking.
- I knew it.
You fed me your breast milk so I would get addicted.
- Mhmm.
- May I call recess, please? Yeah, that sounds good.
(Gun clunks) Lionel: No, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
How dare she? How dare she? In our house? I don't think so.
No, no, no, no! No! - Nothing! Hmm? - What? Hmm? The air conditioning is working really great down here.
- What? Who cares? - What is that? This? Great question, Anne.
I will tell you what it is not.
It is not a USB key.
I know that, because I tried plugging it into my computer.
Okay, so what is it then? God! It's a snake! A snake! And it's Alice's! What is a snake oh.
Is that-is that like a junior vibrator? What? No! Ugh! It's like a vape thing, like a cigarette for smoking! It's like a Gameboy, if a Gameboy had a baby with a cigarette and left it in our daughter's underwear drawer.
What are you doing in her underwear drawer? I was looking for a thong, which I also found, but that's not the point.
What are we gonna do about this? Hmm? Hmm? How does it even work? Whadda ya do? - Do you just like - (Air whistles) - Mhm.
Mhm.
- Wow.
(Choking cough) - I need water.
I need water.
- Lionel Tastes like mango.
Holy shit.
Are we getting creamed right now? - More like breast milked.
- I'm sorry.
- Kate - I know, I know.
Look, if-if you're too uncomfortable with this, I can do this on my own.
I'm not going anywhere.
Look, the only way we're gonna get outta this is if we can prove that you you were in an adult, consensual relationship with a person above the age of majority, whose job security wasn't being threatened.
And, you can do that? Provided I don't vomit first, yes.
- I need to see your phone.
- What? Photos, texts, videos, whatever he sent you, I gotta see it.
Are you sure? That's your only ticket outta this.
- Just - (Sighs) Okay.
Oh.
I know.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Where were some of the places that you coerced Mr.
Greenwood into servitude, and forced breastfeeding? Leading.
Please rephrase.
Where'd ya bang? (Sighs) Um, my apartment, his house, well, his father's house.
- Your car once.
- Right, not the most practical location on account of the well, the car seats for the children.
- Still pretty cool, though.
- Sure.
Yes, thank you.
But that wasn't all, was it? There was the office, the closet, the restaurant bathroom, the noodle place, somebody else's car, the alleyway Jesus, an alley? We never had sex in an alleyway, I don't even - Second base counts.
- It does.
Okay, Forrest, that is it for the locations, though.
Objection! I finger-blasted you at the gym! - Remember that? - Holy shit.
(Clears throat) I think that's enough - of this line of questioning.
- Indeed.
There's gotta be something devious on here.
Show yourself.
Okay, you have got to stop creepin' on Alice's Insta.
What? All parents do it, it'd be irresponsible not to.
- Hmm.
- (Door creaks open) (Alice sighs) (Door closes) Sorry I'm late, rehearsal ran long.
Um, hi? I don't know, are you? That's not mine.
Really, 'cause we found it in your drawer.
It's Brenna's, she asked me to hold on to it.
Mhmm.
Why? Her parents always go through her stuff.
She said she wishes she had parents like mine who respect her privacy and trust her.
- Really, she said that? - Yeah! So, you're not smoking the snake? Brenna's smoking the snake? Stop saying smoking the snake.
- It sounds like something else.
- No! I don't.
It's gross.
I don't even know how she does it.
You mean, without coughing.
Well no, she doesn't really cough.
- What? What is she, a whale? - Lionel! So, is there anything else in your underwear drawer that you would like to admit to? Get outta my underwear drawer! Like maybe what is a thong doing in there? - Dad! Ew! - Is that Brenna's too? Does she wear it when she's puffin' on the snake? - Lionel, gross.
- No, it's mine, okay? - What's the big deal? - What? Dammnit! We told Brenna's parents you didn't have one.
Why are you talking to Brenna's parents - about my underwear? - Because we are grown-ups, - and we will do what we want! - Yeah, and you can forget about getting your phone back, too.
Yeah, and you can tell Brenna she's not gettin' this back, either.
- Where are you taking it? - It's safer with me.
- Okay, dinner is served! - Okay.
Okay.
Uh, before we start to eat, I'd like to say a quick prayer.
Oh! - You're saying a prayer? - Yeah.
Oh.
Thank you, God, for this food.
For rest, and home, and all things good.
Amen.
Thank you for loved ones far and near, for fertile eggs.
You thanking Him for that? - It's my egg, bro.
- Thank you for Juniper, and Frankie, and Rhoda, and Giselle.
And all these gifts we are about to receive from thy gracious bounty, through Christ our Lord.
Amen.
(Happy exhale) Okay, I'm eating before she starts up again.
- (Utensils clang) - Salad? Sure.
I'd like to paint a different kind of picture of this relationship, one where a heartbroken and misguided young man files a lawsuit against my client, punishing her for making her decision to end a consensual and legal relationship.
What's goin' on here? Well, that's-that's us in bed.
Can you describe for me, the emotional distress in this picture? I guess that moment was pretty chill.
- Pretty chill, huh? - Yeah.
Look at her, she's pretty cute.
I know she's cute, I don't need to look at a picture.
Mr.
Foster, I think this is a conflict of interest.
What about this? That's Charlie, he's my bud.
Wanna see? Ugh, no.
So, you spent some time with my children? - My client's children? - Yeah.
Mr.
Greenwood, these photos don't read as though you're being forced to do anything.
They show a young man enchanted with a life that wasn't his.
You were hurt, and now you're seeking revenge, but it's not too late to end this.
And if you ever cared about my client, you would.
- I do care about her.
- Then tell the truth! The truth is, Ms.
Foster exploited Mr.
Greenwood's feelings for her benefit.
Really? It seems to me that he got dumped 'cause she wasn't that into him.
No, she was! She was into me a lot! And I was into her! Look, Kate, you still have feelings for me.
- Just admit it, please.
- Forrest, come on.
- So, you are punishing her? - Don't answer that.
I guess I am.
Forest, you're right, okay, and I'm sorry.
I was selfish, and you deserve better than how I treated you.
- Hey, I'm sorry.
- Thanks.
I'm sorry for all this.
Where is the little shit, in here? Dad, what are you doing in here? - Sir, this is a private meeting.
- It's fine, I'm his father.
You outta your mind? Hmm? Did I drop you on your head when you were a child, or somethin'? Here's what's gonna happen.
You are gonna drop this lawsuit right now, or I am gonna drop all your stuff on the front lawn.
- Got it? - Try it.
- Mom will murder you.
- I beg your pardon? Okay, I'll drop it.
It's been dropped.
(Sighs) I am sorry about this, Kate, but this is what happens when you sleep with children.
- My sympathies are limited.
- Yep, lesson learned.
Where are you even getting the money to pay - for this lawyer? - Oh no, if I don't win, - I don't have to pay her.
- That's incorrect.
Oh, dammnit.
So, do you make my daughter pray? Oh no, would that make you uncomfortable? Very much.
- May I ask why? - Uh, Bianca Well, for one, religion is the cause of every war in the world, and two, we are at a table full of gay women.
You guys are all gay, too? Also, I take issue in thanking God for modern science.
I mean, God didn't put a baby in you, Juniper did.
- Yeah, you're welcome, bro.
- Right.
You know you send your daughter to a school with the word "Saint" in its name.
All the best schools have Saint in the name.
Giselle you know, we just Don't pretend that you believe in this stuff, too.
Well, I-I believe in being kind to each other.
I don't think there's some sort of sky king watching over my masturbation habits.
- Imagine? (Laughs) - Imagine? I don't want my daughter around this.
Around what? You know what they do at church? They sing.
And love each other.
And what about you? You put her in soccer which is violent, and she hates it.
Thank you for dinner.
We'll talk later.
This is stupid, we don't have to do this.
Yes, we do.
We said, you see something, you say something.
We made a pact.
- Fine, but I am not talking.
- That's totally fine.
- (Phone rings) - Me and Marcus have a really good thing going.
- (Coughs) - Marcus: Hello? Hey, Marcus, buddy! What's up? - Uh sorry, who's this? - It's Lionel Carlson.
(Clears throat) Alice's Dad.
Hey, Lionel, how are ya? Just chill, chillin', just bein' all chill.
You know how it is.
Anyways, I was just callin' to talk to you about the whole parenting pact thing, looks like we owe you a bit of an apology.
We actually found a thong in Alice's drawer, too.
Well uh, thanks for being honest.
I guess no one gets to claim better parenting on this one.
We also found your kid's snake.
Well, who's that? Anne? Wait, what snake? Brenna's a snake smoker.
Apparently, she's got quite a reputation at school - for smokin' snake.
- Excuse me? No, it's a vape pen.
It's a vape pen! We found it when we found the thong, in Alice's drawer.
She says it's Brenna's.
Okay, but it was in your daughter's room.
Sorry, are you calling Alice a liar? Wait, how about we all just get together for dinner? Yeah, let's do dinner! Clear the air, have some chats.
This whole parenting pact's really great and everything, but I think we could really use some time live.
That's a great idea, Lionel.
It'll also give you an opportunity to come and get Brenna's snake because we don't want it in the house.
Really lookin' forward to this dinner, guys! Frankie: (Sighs) Well, thank you, God, that dinner is over.
(Chuckles) You didn't have my back at all in there tonight.
Well, I told you to tread lightly with the religion stuff.
I mean, I love you, - but I-I'm still adjusting.
- Adjusting? Yeah, you kinda Trojan horse'd Jesus into our relationship.
Oh, and does being Christian make me harder to love? - It's still just me! - I know that.
- No, I do know that.
- And you know what? You have weird things, too.
Like, you write a thank you letter to every house you sell, not even the client, the, the actual house.
But I support you.
- Why can't you support me? - I do, I do support you.
But no-you're right.
You're right, we all have our weird things and from now on, I support you, and all of your holy spirits.
There's just one one holy spirit.
One holy spirit.
- I love you.
- Love you, too.
Ugh! I mean, you were good in there.
Thank God Richard showed up, though.
- (Small chuckle) - (Sighs) I texted him as soon as I saw Ginny Kelly.
- Seriously? - Yeah.
- You did? Genius! - Yeah.
Thanks for taking care of me today.
It's my pleasure.
I like protecting you.
Mhmm.
(Sighs) Well, I guess this means we're even? Well, no, but you did good today.
Hey, how 'bout I take you to dinner? Don't you have plans? Not anymore.
Come on, let's go! - Okay.
- (Chuckles) Think you're gonna be able to keep anything down? It's touch and go.
There was like a lot of exaggerating going on in there.