Workin' Moms (2017) s07e09 Episode Script

Mm.
Ugh
You call this a smoothie?
Viscosity's way off.
It's just juice.
Okay, alright. Good note, good note.
I'll keep that in mind. So, look
Denise, you got my attention.
I didn't know what to believe before,
but I'm listening now, okay?
And I'm sure you've signed some kind of
non-disclosure agreement.
- So let's talk about smoothies.
- Oh!
Let's say Smoothie City was releasing
a new lactose-free smoothie,
and you knew
that it was just filled
to the tits with dairy.
Where would I look to find
evidence of said dairy?
They'd have no reason to do that.
Dairy alternatives are big business.
I'm talking about Horamo, Denise.
Horamo, the migraine medication.
I need to know what's going on there,
and why you left.
Oh, I didn't leave.
- I was fired.
- What?
- Mm.
- You were
Kate, I'm trying to
figure out what to get Julian
- for his birthday, and
- Wait,
you didn't say anyone was here!
- I should go.
- No, please, please, please.
Just give me a minute, okay?
Thirty seconds, tops.
Thirty seconds! Thirty seconds.
Hey, buddy, what's up?
Uh, okay,
so this whole open relationship thing
isn't really working for me.
But Julian's birthday's coming up,
and I thought
that would be a good
chance to get him something
that says "happy birthday"
as well as "please only be with me."
Okay, okay, a gift.
Uh, you know what?
Don't get him anything.
Why don't you, um, uh, play your sax?
Are you sure?
I am positive, I am positive.
You go write something from the heart,
and it's gonna go great.
Oh!
Okay, he's gone.
No more distractions.
You said you were fired? Why?
Ram knows that I know
that he has friends
on regulatory boards,
and that's why Horamo's
being released so quickly.
Okay, well,
it's actually being delayed, okay?
Ram is putting it back through R&D.
He's not delaying anything!
In fact, he's moving up
the release date on Horamo.
It's going to market early?
You didn't hear it from me.
Thank you both for coming in,
taking time out of your busy schedules.
You're welcome.
Fucking Ram.
Where are you?
Hi, yes!
Uh, happy to be here, of course.
Well, I have good news!
You've both been selected to
organize the school fun fair!
I thought you said "good news."
I can't?
Well, everyone says that at first,
but you have been selected
for a very good reason.
- Well, what reason?
- Well,
all parents are expected to contribute
in some way,
and so far you two have contributed
in no way.
Yeah.
And we pay a lot of money
to contribute in no way.
Woo?
Yoo-hoo!
Hm?
- Hi.
- Sorry.
Uh, work stuff.
Yes, well, you also have kid stuff,
considering how bad things have gotten
between your two children.
- Zoe and Charlie?
- What's going on?
Oh my, they hate each other!
The tension between them
can be quite distracting.
So it wouldn't hurt if you
two could set a good example
and try to work together harmoniously.
I'm sorry, but this is bullshit, okay?
I'm in the thick of it at work.
I don't have time to plan a fun fair.
And I know what you're gonna say,
- but
- I'll do it.
What, you will? Why?
Because I'm a good person?
Uh-huh What's the catch?
No catch.
I don't treat people like shit,
and I'm not a psycho.
And besides, you can't, and I can.
I mean, I guess you do have
a little more time on
your hands right now.
If you're referring to
my employment status,
I'll have you know
I have an interview today.
It's with a great company
and I'm a great fit,
because I'm a great person!
Yeah, you mentioned that.
Alright, well, thank you.
- And good luck!
- Thanks.
Oh, look at them.
They're fine.
I mean, what is she talking about?
Well, even if they weren't,
it's definitely not Zoe.
She's an angel baby.
So, maybe check on Charlie.
Will do. Bye.
Hey, Alice. It's me calling, again.
I'm just calling to check in on you,
see how you're doing.
Uh, call me back, please.
Fuck!
I hear that.
Hey.
What are you doing here?
You got time?
You know what,
I've given therapy to friends before,
and it it doesn't really work out.
Think of this as therapy-adjacent.
A conversation between
like-minded ragey friends.
One just happens to be a professional.
Okay, I am also busy.
I have appointments.
Clear your schedule.
You can't bribe me, Sloane.
I don't feel like myself at work.
I don't feel like myself at home.
My vagina's broken.
Different doctor for that.
Look, the point is,
I'm tasking as hard as I can.
At work, at home.
I'm tasking so hard,
I'm losing my goddamn mind, and I-I
I need help.
Well, I
I don't know what "tasking" means,
but, uh
I do know about not
feeling like yourself.
The thing is, you lose yourself
the second you give birth.
Funny how nobody
mentions that little gem
prior to getting pregnant.
I mean, don't get me wrong,
being a mother is so
fulfilling and so beautiful.
But kids will take and take and
take until they wear you out
and block your number
like you're a call centre
from a different
Okay, I'm sorry,
this doesn't sound like my thing at all.
No, but it's your future.
And I thought you of all people
would want to know the truth.
I'm telling you, you gotta be ready.
Because when that day comes
and it is coming
when your kid wants
nothing to do with you,
you gotta know who you are without them.
Who were you before?
Who's
old Sloane?
Pre-baby Sloane.
Get to know her again.
She's increasingly foggy.
I'm taking the day off.
You coming?
Right this way, ladies.
Wow, the backroom!
You don't get out much, do ya?
What? Who doesn't like a backroom?
You ready to walk a mile
in old Sloane's shoes?
Yep, I didn't play hooky for nothing!
Well, buckle up, bitch!
Okay.
You are moving up the
release date of Horamo?
- Kate!
- Kind of thing you might want
to discuss with your PR firm,
- don't ya think?
- Okay, Kate
No, I came to you
with legitimate concerns
about Horamo,
and you lied about looking into it!
Okay, can I speak?
I'm feeling a little attacked here.
Yeah, 'cause you're under attack.
Who told you about the release?
I have a I have a source.
Was it Denise?
'Cause Denise can't be trusted.
Really, 'cause at the moment it is you
who are not looking trustworthy.
Really? Can I show you something?
No.
Yes.
There's your trustworthy scientist,
caught selling our formula for Seedless
to a foreign competitor.
No way. She is not a criminal.
Maybe she's just, you know,
workin' late with some colleagues.
Certainly aren't colleagues of mine.
You know,
I don't even know that that's Denise.
No, that's her. That is definitely her.
Look at her scratching.
She loves to scratch.
Clearly there were
some surveillance cameras
Denise did not know about.
Look, you're gonna see she gets paid
right there.
Shit, well, that explains the psoriasis.
On top of that,
her work had become erratic.
She was unreliable.
So I guess you don't have
the regulatory boards
in your back pocket?
What, why would you think that?
Well, I mean,
Horamo was approved pretty quickly.
Because Horamo is ready.
Here's what R&D told me when
I took your concerns to them.
Okay.
So, pain and memory are housed
in the same part of the brain,
and Horamo floods those pain receptors
with serotonin,
thereby reversing the effects
of a migraine, when you have a migraine.
Now, if you take Horamo when
you don't have a migraine,
it's gonna go looking for pain,
and when it doesn't find any,
it's gonna attack memory instead.
That's why you and your friends
experienced temporary
memory loss and elation.
- We were elated
- Yeah.
And this will all be noted
in the drug's documentation.
When you used to get migraines,
you said, because of salt, right?
Oh, yeah.
Bowl of cured olives,
for instance, pssht!
It's like a mallet to my brain.
Okay, okay, so wouldn't you
have done anything at that time
- to make it stop?
- Well
Okay, you don't believe me
believe these.
Testimonials, from the Horamo trials,
of migraine sufferers.
When people are in pain,
they just want to make it stop.
And Horamo does that
in 45 minutes, tops.
Kate, this is a miracle drug.
Think of all the people we could help.
Mmm!
Mmm, my God, this is so delicious.
I don't remember the last
time I took lunch for myself.
I don't remember the
last time I ate lunch
without being milked like a prized cow.
I usually spend mine
arranging Jayme's playdates
and shoving week-old rotisserie
chicken down my throat.
I should probably pump after this.
Shit, I forgot to register
Jayme for gymnastics.
Fuck!
No!
No, we are not doing this.
You're right!
Rediscovering our old selves.
You wanna have some fun?
Yes!
Everything okay?
No, actually.
My deepest apologies, Ms. Mitchell.
What seems to be the problem?
Neither of these meals are any good.
So, why don't you take
'em back to the kitchen and try again?
Right away.
So sorry, Ms. Mitchell.
Oh, uh
What was wrong with them?
- Nothing.
- Really?
That guy was
he looked like he was about to cry!
That's the whole point!
Old Sloane loved this shit!
Oh
Yeah, I mean that cool.
Yeah, it's not quite hitting
the same way that it used to.
No.
Okay, okay,
apart from terrorizing wait staff,
what made old Sloane feel alive?
What's the craziest shit you used to do?
You really wanna know?
Ladies!
Who's hungry?
Wait, Kate told me about this.
These aren't are these
Meatboys? You're goddamn right they are.
Okay.
I'm also skilled at creating
and implementing systems.
I have experience working with teams,
as well as leading projects.
And, as I always say,
every development team is only as good
as the donuts you bring
in for them on Monday!
Wait until the team hears that one!
They're gonna love it.
Jenny, this has been great.
I think your positive energy
would be a valuable
addition to the team.
I get that a lot.
Well, thank you again for coming in.
We'll be in touch!
Did I get it?
Get what?
- The job.
- Oh, um,
well, we still have a
few more interviews to do, so
Yeah, well,
I saw the competition out there
I mean, yikes!
What do you mean?
You know, ugly, stupid, boring.
They look like they're gonna go
home to their lightsaber toys.
Oh, well
they come highly recommended.
Are you gonna make me beg?
I was a manager. I've done interviews.
You just have a gut
feeling about these things.
So, do I have the job or not?
Well, 30 seconds ago, you did.
But now you don't.
This interview's over.
I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
Fine!
I'm over-qualified for
this shit job anyway.
Also, your bangs are stupid!
Ooh!
You are so tense!
Yeah, I wonder why.
Take five.
Take five?
We're not doing anything wrong.
They're getting paid,
everyone's having fun!
Yeah, you're right. No, totally.
Yeah, we're having fun.
Isn't that the whole point of today?
Yes! Right.
You're right.
And besides,
you ever do shots off a six-pack?
What?
You, here.
Care to share your abs with us?
Woo!
O-okay
Ooh!
Sorry.
It's cold.
To old Sloane!
To old Sloane!
Alright!
Ah!
Are you having fun yet?
Aah!
Honestly
not really.
I think I just want to be with my kid.
Yeah, me too.
Let's get out of here.
Yeah.
No more zombies!
Look!
Oh, shit.
Is that
- Juniper?
- Yup.
She and Forrest couldn't
decide who'd be the face
of their next prototype.
Guess she won the coin toss.
It was somehow less horrifying
when it was a zombie.
I dunno I think she's kinda cute!
Is there
is there anything else, Rose, or?
No. Yes.
I was hoping to take some vacation days.
You already maxed out your
vacation days for the year.
What are you talking about?
You took two weeks off because
your cat was depressed.
- Those were sick days!
- You were in Mexico!
And I got sick there.
People don't tell you
not to drink the water!
Literally the first thing
people say about Mexico is
"do not drink the water."
Well, a bunch of my girlies
are going to Vegas
for Christina Miller's bachelorette,
#it'sMillerTime.
And I haven't technically
taken a vacation since
You can go, okay?
But it will be unpaid,
because again, you've maxed out!
Well, what's even the point
of being partner?
- This blows!
- Sorry, Rose.
- I don't know what to tell ya.
- Well, don't apologize to me!
Why don't I call
Christina Miller right now
and you can explain to
her why her maid of honour
can't be there for her last
weekend as a free woman!
- Got a minute, boss?
- No.
It's just that my friend
Christina Miller's
- getting married
- Do not start.
You still poring over
those Horamo testimonials?
How are you still on the fence?
I just I want to be sure, you know?
This is our reputation on the line.
Not sure if you noticed, but it says
"Kate Foster PR" on the door.
Imagine it said "Mo Daniels PR."
Oh, I do.
Every day.
Okay, well, then you get it, right?
If they go down, we go down.
I dunno,
I thought reading these people's stories
would help, but
I don't know what to believe.
Yeah, the way I see it,
when you're looking for problems,
you'll find problems.
Why don't you start
looking for a solution?
Very helpful. Poetic, even.
You've got hundreds of
first-hand accounts here.
What else do you need
to convince yourself
that this pill needs
to be on the shelves?
What? It's my cheat day.
Man, you're gonna be
bloated after all that salt.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh
There she is! Okay
Where are the pills?
Where are the pills?
Okay
Okay
Here we
Yeah!
Oh
You look like you could
use some baby love.
There you go, little man.
Go to your mama.
Mmm
Well, it's gettin' late.
I'm gonna head out.
Oh yeah, I made you a bouillabaisse.
It's a little cold right now.
I wasn't sure what
time you'd be home at,
but 90 seconds in the
microwave should do it.
No one has ever taken
care of me like this.
Well, that makes me sad
because you deserve it.
Move in with us.
Are you sure?
You deserve to be taken care of too.
Oh, you reek of champagne.
Hi, Alice.
Uh, I guess you've blocked my number.
Anyway, um, I just called to say
I hope you have a good sleep.
Goodnight.
What happened to you?
You're back?
I just missed my bed.
So, thanks for coming over, um
Yeah.
I know it's kind of like a weird time.
Thanks for inviting me.
Augh
Yeah, um, and actually,
the reason I asked you
to come over was, uh,
because I have something special
planned for your birthday.
Oh, fuck.
And I thought
I could give it to you now,
uh, since we're alone.
I told you not to do anything.
Yeah, yeah. Sit.
I call this piece, "Monogamy."
Oh God, no
Julian
I want to spend every second with you.
I want to watch you
wake up every morning.
I want to share everything.
Like, I'd use your toothbrush
and carry your garbage in my pocket.
What?
Because it feels like we're one person.
Your garbage is my garbage.
Your skin is my skin.
Let's be buried together
in the same casket
and be this close forever!
Okay, NJ, just stop! Please!
I'm just speaking from the heart!
Well, it's weird!
Look
I'm I'm just gonna say it.
I love you.
And I know you want to be
in an open relationship,
but I think I can be enough
if you just let me try.
No, just stop, okay?
I-I thought you were cool with this!
You can't just trick me into
monogamy with your saxophone.
This
isn't working.
Oh fuck
It worked.
It actually worked. It's all gone!
It's all fuckin' gone!
Hello?!
What the hell?
I can't do this.
No, no, wait, Julian, please!
Hold on!
Julian, please, don't go!
Just wait for
Unbelievable.
What is wrong with you?
Huh?
I did exactly what
you said to, and guess what?
It backfired!
Oh, hey, I'm Look, I'm sorry.
I'm I'm so sorry, I just
Thanks a lot!