Wrecked (2016) s03e09 Episode Script
Mrs. Stanwick
1 - [ELECTRICITY CRACKLES.]
- Jess! - Where am I? - She thinks she's in college.
I don't want 19-year-old Jess.
I want - [AS BORAT.]
my wife.
- Oh, my God.
- What happened? - Chet killed Steve.
[YELLS.]
- Aaaaaah! - Ohhh! I saw a first-aid kit in the weapons pile.
- No, it's gone.
- Chet took all the supplies and the other survivors out to a camp deep in the jungle.
I think my bracelet stopped working.
- You can't get shocked.
- I can get in and power down the island.
How do I turn this thing off? Get down there now.
Well, well.
Ain't this something.
I think that the two leaders should fight.
Let's fight.
SURVIVORS: [CHANTING.]
Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet Here it is! It's the fight we've all been waiting for! What? Owen versus Chet! It's good versus evil, man! Light versus the time when it's bedtime for all the kids! Dark? [SARCASTICALLY.]
Sure.
Wow.
Okay.
Dark, Owen.
[LAUGHS.]
[NORMAL VOICE.]
You're the smartest asshole.
You got this, Owen! Okay.
Hey, Chet? Chet, before we start, why don't we both agree up-top we will fight with dignity - and honor! - [SCREAMS.]
- Oh! - What the frig?! Oh, what's the matter, Chet? Never been in a van fight?! Ow! [CLICKING.]
God damn it, Jess! You could've learned this stuff in Computer Science, but, no, you just had to take History of Bread! [GRUNTS.]
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
Okay.
Aah! So power's still on.
She'll get it, dude.
Just give her some [VEHICLE APPROACHING.]
- Do you hear that? - What? What is it? Oh, shit! It's Martha! She's on a sick-ass four-wheeler.
Pack, we're gonna have to hold her off.
- Pack? - [GRUNTS.]
What the hell are you doing?! Maybe she won't see me up here! Oh, you pussy-ass little genius.
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
Wow, Owen fights dirty.
- Yah! - [GRUNTING.]
Aah! - [RIPS.]
- Aah! You ripped my nips! [SCREAMS.]
[CRUNCHING.]
[YELLING.]
Aah! Do it, man.
Send me back to the worms! [QUIETLY.]
Finish him! - No.
- [GAGGING.]
That's just what Declan wants.
I'm not gonna play his games.
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS.]
Oh, right on, man.
That's so cool of you.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS.]
[BATON SHINKS.]
TODD: Aah! Oh! [GRUNTING.]
Pack, now! What now?! I thought we were just hiding! I didn't know you were gonna jump! Seriously, dude?! [GRUNTS, BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES.]
[GRUNTS.]
[BEEPING.]
- [TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS.]
- She did it.
[BEEPS TWICE, UNLATCHES.]
[BRACELET CLATTERS.]
[BEEPS TWICE, UNLATCHES.]
[BEEPS TWICE, UNLATCHES, BEEPS TWICE, UNLATCHES.]
[BEEPS TWICE, UNLATCHES, BEEPS TWICE, UNLATCHES.]
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES.]
Oh, shit.
[CONTROLLER THUDS.]
'Sup, Barf-a.
Not so tough without your little Game Boy, huh? [GRUNTS.]
Oh! [GRUNTING.]
[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYS.]
[GRUNTING.]
Ah! [LAUGHING.]
Yeah! [GROANS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Pack, do something! Right, um [STAMMERS.]
Hey, Martha! No, you stop it! No! No, I told you to stop it! He doesn't know to fight.
He just has big arms! [GROANING.]
Oh! [LAUGHS.]
Lights out, "Todd.
" [GRUNTS.]
Bitch, don't touch [AS BORAT.]
my husband! Babe, you remember?! - [NORMAL VOICE.]
I remember! - She remembers! And now I'm going to dis-member you.
- Shut up! - Shut up! [GRUNTS.]
You're toast! [THUD.]
Let's get this back to Karen.
What do you think happened with these? I don't know, but it means Declan can't control us anymore.
What do we do about this guy? Hey! Not the last you've seen of ol' Chester! Come on, freak fam, let's go! Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Guys, come with us, okay? The Hunt is over.
You don't have to chant for that psycho anymore.
- [CHANTING.]
Owen.
Owen.
- No.
- SURVIVORS: [CHANTING.]
Owen.
Owen.
- Hey.
- Owen.
Owen.
- No! Guys, you don't have to chant for anyone anymore, okay? - Owen.
Owen.
- Stop.
Stop chanting.
- Oh, my God, stop chanting.
Stop.
- [CHANTING STOPS.]
- Ow-en.
- Shh.
I thought I'd lost you.
I was always here.
Baby? [ROMANTIC MUSIC SWELLS.]
Aah! Nice work, team! We did it! - Suck it, Martha! - Dude.
You bolted up that wall like a friggin' squirrel.
- Aw, thanks, man.
- Okay, guys.
We need to find the others.
At least, whoever's still alive.
Yeah.
Well, what about her? FLORENCE: What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Where is everything?! BRUCE: Stolen by the Dark Prince.
Shiddy-womp-womp.
- Bruce? - Hey, you guys.
How's it goin'? I thought you went down with the ship.
Oh, nah.
I still got a few gallons of diesel left in me.
Did Owen and Danny come through here? Yep.
Went off into the jungle in search of Chet.
Damn suicide mission.
I don't expect we'll be seeing - those boys anytime soon.
- Look! [DJ KHALED'S "ALL I DO IS WIN" PLAYS.]
- It's them.
- Bang! All I do is win, win, win, no matter what Got money on my mind, I can never get enough And every time I step up in the building Everybody hands go - [MUSIC STOPS.]
- Why the [BLEEP.]
are you moving so slowly?! I'm bleeding out here! Hurry up, you idiots! Oh, sorry.
Welp, I may never dunk a basketball again, but I'll live.
Have you guys seen Todd or Jess or Pack? They could be anywhere on this damn island.
[DJ KHALED'S "ALL I DO IS WIN" RESUMES.]
Look! Bang! All I do is win, win, win, no matter what Got money on my mind, I can never get enough And every time I step up in the building Everybody hands go up 'Sup? You guys still killing each other? Nah.
Bracelets are dead! - You guys? - Nope.
Bracelets are dead! - We got Martha! - And they stay there [CHEERS.]
And they say yeah And they stay there, up down, up down 'Cause all I do is win, win, win And if you goin' in, put your hands in the air - Guys, guys, this is a sign! - [MUSIC STOPS.]
We all made it back together! Well everyone but Steve.
[SOLEMN MUSIC PLAYS.]
[DJ KHALED'S "ALL I DO IS WIN" RESUMES.]
Look! Bang! All I do is win, win, win, no matter what Got money on my mind, I can never get - [MUSIC STOPS.]
- Sorry.
I thought that may work.
Yeah, no, he's dead.
He's definitely dead.
Martha, do you have eyes on them? Come in, Martha! Damn that woman.
I don't know, Dec.
Without those bracelets to keep 'em in line, things could get FUBAR real fast.
Yeah, maybe we should just cut and run and chopper out of here.
I would sooner chop your cock off.
Would you like that, Errol? Hm? [SINISTERLY.]
Would you like a chopped cock? - No.
- Splendid.
Then we're not going anywhere.
[NORMAL VOICE.]
You'll fire up the backup generator, and then we will find them.
There's, like, a dozen of them now.
I feel like we should at least radio - for some more mus - No! No.
We are Hunters.
And we will hunt them down like the common turds they are.
- Do you really "hunt" a turd? - Shh! [WHISPERING.]
Shut up or he'll chop our cocks off.
Mark my words.
The only cries for help will be coming from them.
[SWORD SHINKS.]
For what these punks put us through, I say we bring the fight to them.
- With what? - They have guns.
Yeah, so do we.
[KISSING.]
Two of 'em.
- No, this one's a bazooka.
- [ALL GRUMBLING.]
I feel like if Steve was here, he'd be like, [AS STEVE.]
"Get me to Declan.
I'll handle the rest.
" Or be like, [AS STEVE.]
"Save Declan for me!" [AS STEVE.]
"Let's put risotto on it.
" PACK: [AS STEVE.]
"and I'm going to kill you, Declan.
" [ALL MIMICKING STEVE.]
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- [ALL STOP.]
When Steve came back from Declan's study, didn't he say there was a radio in there? Oh, nelly.
Yeah, there is.
We saw it the night we were hangin' out with Declan.
Yeah.
Todd asked if it gets Stern.
I was joking, dude.
[QUIETLY.]
Bababooey.
Okay, if we can get to that radio, then we can call for help.
Yeah, but then we have the same problem of getting in.
They have guns.
DECLAN: Martha, do you have eyes on them? Come in, Martha.
- So, if we could just - And then they would all go And we just walk in! What? What are we talking about? All right, "Martha.
" Here's how it's gonna go down.
You're gonna get on this walkie, and you're gonna tell Declan you found us all barricaded at the power station! And then you're gonna ask all of them to come down to back you up.
Once they get out of the mansion, we can slip right in.
Got it?! - [SPITS.]
- Oh! [ALL GROAN.]
Hey, spitting is our thing! [SPITS.]
[MENACINGLY.]
Listen.
You either do it, or we're gonna make you do it.
Then make me, mother[BLEEP.]
.
[CHUCKLES.]
Fine.
We'll make you.
[WHISPERING.]
How do I do that? [WHISPERING.]
I don't know.
I'll tell you how.
[ENGINE HUMMING.]
This isn't gonna kill her, right? What, this little battery? Nah.
At least, I don't think so.
I swear to God, Martha, we'll do it.
You shocked us, we'll shock you.
Tit for tat.
Why don't you connect it to my tit? At least I'll get a little something.
- Jesus - All right, Martha.
This is your last chance, huh? Okay.
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
What? You people are pathetic.
Maybe Maybe I should give it a little bit more juice? Blast her, dude.
[CLICKS, ENGINE REVS.]
[SCREAMING.]
[GASPS.]
[REVVING FADING.]
May have knocked it into gear.
Oh, they can't be far from here.
They must've gone through Martha! Oh, God.
Oh, God! What have those savages done to you? Oh Oh, Martha.
[CRYING.]
We're sorry about your maid, Declan.
She was my wife.
What? We tried to keep up professional appearances.
But it must've been so obvious to you.
Uh Martha, go fry up some oysters, chop chop! - [BLEEP.]
along.
- Oh, Jesus, woman.
Get down there now.
Find this Chet.
Do your bloody job and find them! Yeah.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Yeah, pretty obvious.
That way.
I want them dead.
- You said it wasn't gonna kill her! - Not like that! Okay, let's let's everyone try and calm down.
I can't calm down! We just saw a lady get "Jackass'd" to death! Okay, granted, that was the worst thing I have ever seen, but there's still time to come up with a Plan B, right? The rich don't know where we are - [GUNSHOT.]
- [SCREAMING.]
[GUNFIRE.]
[GUNFIRE, SCREAMING.]
- The hell, dude?! - Zig-zag so they can't aim! Good idea! Yeah, yeah! Everybody zig-zag!! [SCREAMING CONTINUES.]
[GUNFIRE CONTINUES.]
Aw, shit! They got away! I mean, they were zig-zagging.
What were we supposed to do? Split up.
We'll run them down.
- We're not gonna make it like this.
- What? Leave me.
Leave me.
I'll hold them back as long as I can.
Karen, no! We have to get you back to your family.
You're my family, too.
[HEARTFELT MUSIC PLAYS.]
Aww Well, Karen, it's been real.
Babe, let's shag ass.
Todd, no.
We stay and fight.
Goddamn, you're confident.
It is so hot.
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
We can lose him in the warehouse! - Which way is that? - This way! Seriously? The cliff?! All right, this one's on me.
I am all turned around.
What do we do? Do we jump?! He's right behind me! What are you idiots waiting for? We gotta jump! ALL: No! - [SPLAT.]
- [ALL GROAN.]
Oh, God! He exploded! [BLOWS RASPBERRY.]
- Oh, no! - Dipshit.
JESS: Aah! [AS STEVE.]
Oh, nice, Jess! No! My stick I shall never find another like you.
[NORMAL VOICE.]
How 'bout this one? Oh, hell, yeah! That one's even better! [GUNSHOT.]
- We gotta go! Go! - Jesus! Yeah! [WIND WHISTLING.]
- [WHISPERING.]
Move your foot! - [WHISPERING.]
I can't! [WHISPERING.]
Will you two shut up?! [GUN COCKS.]
[THUD.]
GUARD: [FADING.]
Aah! [SPLAT.]
[HEROIC MUSIC PLAYS.]
FLORENCE: Steve? That's right, with his classic bucket hat in tow.
Oh! Oh, Goddamn it! [BLEEP.]
I just got that hat.
[GRUNTS.]
[ALL BREATHING HEAVILY.]
I can't believe I lost that hat.
Steve, we saw you die.
What happened? Well, I remember falling.
And then, everything went black.
I came to in a crevasse.
[HYPERVENTILATING.]
How I survived the fall, God only knows [COUGHS.]
but probably my muscles.
I had to get the arrow out, but when I went to move Aah! I discovered that my bracelet was pinned between two boulders.
[WEEPING.]
But try as I may, nothing I did could free me.
Aah! DANNY: Like "127 Hours"? What? No.
Probably two, three hours maximum.
But as time wore on, I began to accept, "This is where I'll die.
" So, I prepared to greet death like a man! [WEEPING LOUDLY.]
And then, I thought of Luther LUTHER: I'm on land! [LAUGHS.]
- [EXPLOSION.]
- [WEEPS LOUDER.]
STEVE: and the man who killed him! [LAUGHS EVILLY.]
So I was like, "I cannot die here! Not while Declan lives!" So I pulled the arrow out with my bare hands! [SCREAMING.]
And as for those immovable boulders you'll never guess what I used to gain my freedom.
The chess piece! You used it to chisel your way out! Oh, my God, it did pay off! What? No! Why? Do you think that would've worked? I didn't even think of this! Yes! This would've been perfect! Well, so how did you get out? [GROANING, LIQUID RUNNING.]
I actually just peed on my hand, and it just slipped straight out.
- [THUMP.]
- Aah! [LAUGHS MANIACALLY.]
Ew So, yeah, but I still believe this little priest character's gonna come in handy somehow.
Well, we're gonna need everything we've got.
I mean, those rich assholes are still out here gunning for us.
Well, if they're out here, then the mansion Is wide-open! OWEN: Okay, we gotta get to that radio.
[GLASS SHATTERS.]
STEVE: Shit, they're here.
Grab a weapon! Dudes! KAREN: Steve.
You're alive! So, there I was, at the bottom of a crevasse - Steve! - Hm? The radio.
Oh, yes! The radio.
And then And then, my story, 'cause I'm telling it.
It's one of the greatest things that's ever happened to me.
You're not gonna believe it.
They must've snuck inside.
Declan, what if they get to the radio? Trust me, that won't be a problem.
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
- Jess! - Where am I? - She thinks she's in college.
I don't want 19-year-old Jess.
I want - [AS BORAT.]
my wife.
- Oh, my God.
- What happened? - Chet killed Steve.
[YELLS.]
- Aaaaaah! - Ohhh! I saw a first-aid kit in the weapons pile.
- No, it's gone.
- Chet took all the supplies and the other survivors out to a camp deep in the jungle.
I think my bracelet stopped working.
- You can't get shocked.
- I can get in and power down the island.
How do I turn this thing off? Get down there now.
Well, well.
Ain't this something.
I think that the two leaders should fight.
Let's fight.
SURVIVORS: [CHANTING.]
Chet, Chet, Chet, Chet Here it is! It's the fight we've all been waiting for! What? Owen versus Chet! It's good versus evil, man! Light versus the time when it's bedtime for all the kids! Dark? [SARCASTICALLY.]
Sure.
Wow.
Okay.
Dark, Owen.
[LAUGHS.]
[NORMAL VOICE.]
You're the smartest asshole.
You got this, Owen! Okay.
Hey, Chet? Chet, before we start, why don't we both agree up-top we will fight with dignity - and honor! - [SCREAMS.]
- Oh! - What the frig?! Oh, what's the matter, Chet? Never been in a van fight?! Ow! [CLICKING.]
God damn it, Jess! You could've learned this stuff in Computer Science, but, no, you just had to take History of Bread! [GRUNTS.]
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
Okay.
Aah! So power's still on.
She'll get it, dude.
Just give her some [VEHICLE APPROACHING.]
- Do you hear that? - What? What is it? Oh, shit! It's Martha! She's on a sick-ass four-wheeler.
Pack, we're gonna have to hold her off.
- Pack? - [GRUNTS.]
What the hell are you doing?! Maybe she won't see me up here! Oh, you pussy-ass little genius.
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
Wow, Owen fights dirty.
- Yah! - [GRUNTING.]
Aah! - [RIPS.]
- Aah! You ripped my nips! [SCREAMS.]
[CRUNCHING.]
[YELLING.]
Aah! Do it, man.
Send me back to the worms! [QUIETLY.]
Finish him! - No.
- [GAGGING.]
That's just what Declan wants.
I'm not gonna play his games.
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS.]
Oh, right on, man.
That's so cool of you.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS.]
[BATON SHINKS.]
TODD: Aah! Oh! [GRUNTING.]
Pack, now! What now?! I thought we were just hiding! I didn't know you were gonna jump! Seriously, dude?! [GRUNTS, BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES.]
[GRUNTS.]
[BEEPING.]
- [TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS.]
- She did it.
[BEEPS TWICE, UNLATCHES.]
[BRACELET CLATTERS.]
[BEEPS TWICE, UNLATCHES.]
[BEEPS TWICE, UNLATCHES, BEEPS TWICE, UNLATCHES.]
[BEEPS TWICE, UNLATCHES, BEEPS TWICE, UNLATCHES.]
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES.]
Oh, shit.
[CONTROLLER THUDS.]
'Sup, Barf-a.
Not so tough without your little Game Boy, huh? [GRUNTS.]
Oh! [GRUNTING.]
[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYS.]
[GRUNTING.]
Ah! [LAUGHING.]
Yeah! [GROANS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Pack, do something! Right, um [STAMMERS.]
Hey, Martha! No, you stop it! No! No, I told you to stop it! He doesn't know to fight.
He just has big arms! [GROANING.]
Oh! [LAUGHS.]
Lights out, "Todd.
" [GRUNTS.]
Bitch, don't touch [AS BORAT.]
my husband! Babe, you remember?! - [NORMAL VOICE.]
I remember! - She remembers! And now I'm going to dis-member you.
- Shut up! - Shut up! [GRUNTS.]
You're toast! [THUD.]
Let's get this back to Karen.
What do you think happened with these? I don't know, but it means Declan can't control us anymore.
What do we do about this guy? Hey! Not the last you've seen of ol' Chester! Come on, freak fam, let's go! Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Guys, come with us, okay? The Hunt is over.
You don't have to chant for that psycho anymore.
- [CHANTING.]
Owen.
Owen.
- No.
- SURVIVORS: [CHANTING.]
Owen.
Owen.
- Hey.
- Owen.
Owen.
- No! Guys, you don't have to chant for anyone anymore, okay? - Owen.
Owen.
- Stop.
Stop chanting.
- Oh, my God, stop chanting.
Stop.
- [CHANTING STOPS.]
- Ow-en.
- Shh.
I thought I'd lost you.
I was always here.
Baby? [ROMANTIC MUSIC SWELLS.]
Aah! Nice work, team! We did it! - Suck it, Martha! - Dude.
You bolted up that wall like a friggin' squirrel.
- Aw, thanks, man.
- Okay, guys.
We need to find the others.
At least, whoever's still alive.
Yeah.
Well, what about her? FLORENCE: What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Where is everything?! BRUCE: Stolen by the Dark Prince.
Shiddy-womp-womp.
- Bruce? - Hey, you guys.
How's it goin'? I thought you went down with the ship.
Oh, nah.
I still got a few gallons of diesel left in me.
Did Owen and Danny come through here? Yep.
Went off into the jungle in search of Chet.
Damn suicide mission.
I don't expect we'll be seeing - those boys anytime soon.
- Look! [DJ KHALED'S "ALL I DO IS WIN" PLAYS.]
- It's them.
- Bang! All I do is win, win, win, no matter what Got money on my mind, I can never get enough And every time I step up in the building Everybody hands go - [MUSIC STOPS.]
- Why the [BLEEP.]
are you moving so slowly?! I'm bleeding out here! Hurry up, you idiots! Oh, sorry.
Welp, I may never dunk a basketball again, but I'll live.
Have you guys seen Todd or Jess or Pack? They could be anywhere on this damn island.
[DJ KHALED'S "ALL I DO IS WIN" RESUMES.]
Look! Bang! All I do is win, win, win, no matter what Got money on my mind, I can never get enough And every time I step up in the building Everybody hands go up 'Sup? You guys still killing each other? Nah.
Bracelets are dead! - You guys? - Nope.
Bracelets are dead! - We got Martha! - And they stay there [CHEERS.]
And they say yeah And they stay there, up down, up down 'Cause all I do is win, win, win And if you goin' in, put your hands in the air - Guys, guys, this is a sign! - [MUSIC STOPS.]
We all made it back together! Well everyone but Steve.
[SOLEMN MUSIC PLAYS.]
[DJ KHALED'S "ALL I DO IS WIN" RESUMES.]
Look! Bang! All I do is win, win, win, no matter what Got money on my mind, I can never get - [MUSIC STOPS.]
- Sorry.
I thought that may work.
Yeah, no, he's dead.
He's definitely dead.
Martha, do you have eyes on them? Come in, Martha! Damn that woman.
I don't know, Dec.
Without those bracelets to keep 'em in line, things could get FUBAR real fast.
Yeah, maybe we should just cut and run and chopper out of here.
I would sooner chop your cock off.
Would you like that, Errol? Hm? [SINISTERLY.]
Would you like a chopped cock? - No.
- Splendid.
Then we're not going anywhere.
[NORMAL VOICE.]
You'll fire up the backup generator, and then we will find them.
There's, like, a dozen of them now.
I feel like we should at least radio - for some more mus - No! No.
We are Hunters.
And we will hunt them down like the common turds they are.
- Do you really "hunt" a turd? - Shh! [WHISPERING.]
Shut up or he'll chop our cocks off.
Mark my words.
The only cries for help will be coming from them.
[SWORD SHINKS.]
For what these punks put us through, I say we bring the fight to them.
- With what? - They have guns.
Yeah, so do we.
[KISSING.]
Two of 'em.
- No, this one's a bazooka.
- [ALL GRUMBLING.]
I feel like if Steve was here, he'd be like, [AS STEVE.]
"Get me to Declan.
I'll handle the rest.
" Or be like, [AS STEVE.]
"Save Declan for me!" [AS STEVE.]
"Let's put risotto on it.
" PACK: [AS STEVE.]
"and I'm going to kill you, Declan.
" [ALL MIMICKING STEVE.]
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- [ALL STOP.]
When Steve came back from Declan's study, didn't he say there was a radio in there? Oh, nelly.
Yeah, there is.
We saw it the night we were hangin' out with Declan.
Yeah.
Todd asked if it gets Stern.
I was joking, dude.
[QUIETLY.]
Bababooey.
Okay, if we can get to that radio, then we can call for help.
Yeah, but then we have the same problem of getting in.
They have guns.
DECLAN: Martha, do you have eyes on them? Come in, Martha.
- So, if we could just - And then they would all go And we just walk in! What? What are we talking about? All right, "Martha.
" Here's how it's gonna go down.
You're gonna get on this walkie, and you're gonna tell Declan you found us all barricaded at the power station! And then you're gonna ask all of them to come down to back you up.
Once they get out of the mansion, we can slip right in.
Got it?! - [SPITS.]
- Oh! [ALL GROAN.]
Hey, spitting is our thing! [SPITS.]
[MENACINGLY.]
Listen.
You either do it, or we're gonna make you do it.
Then make me, mother[BLEEP.]
.
[CHUCKLES.]
Fine.
We'll make you.
[WHISPERING.]
How do I do that? [WHISPERING.]
I don't know.
I'll tell you how.
[ENGINE HUMMING.]
This isn't gonna kill her, right? What, this little battery? Nah.
At least, I don't think so.
I swear to God, Martha, we'll do it.
You shocked us, we'll shock you.
Tit for tat.
Why don't you connect it to my tit? At least I'll get a little something.
- Jesus - All right, Martha.
This is your last chance, huh? Okay.
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
What? You people are pathetic.
Maybe Maybe I should give it a little bit more juice? Blast her, dude.
[CLICKS, ENGINE REVS.]
[SCREAMING.]
[GASPS.]
[REVVING FADING.]
May have knocked it into gear.
Oh, they can't be far from here.
They must've gone through Martha! Oh, God.
Oh, God! What have those savages done to you? Oh Oh, Martha.
[CRYING.]
We're sorry about your maid, Declan.
She was my wife.
What? We tried to keep up professional appearances.
But it must've been so obvious to you.
Uh Martha, go fry up some oysters, chop chop! - [BLEEP.]
along.
- Oh, Jesus, woman.
Get down there now.
Find this Chet.
Do your bloody job and find them! Yeah.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Yeah, pretty obvious.
That way.
I want them dead.
- You said it wasn't gonna kill her! - Not like that! Okay, let's let's everyone try and calm down.
I can't calm down! We just saw a lady get "Jackass'd" to death! Okay, granted, that was the worst thing I have ever seen, but there's still time to come up with a Plan B, right? The rich don't know where we are - [GUNSHOT.]
- [SCREAMING.]
[GUNFIRE.]
[GUNFIRE, SCREAMING.]
- The hell, dude?! - Zig-zag so they can't aim! Good idea! Yeah, yeah! Everybody zig-zag!! [SCREAMING CONTINUES.]
[GUNFIRE CONTINUES.]
Aw, shit! They got away! I mean, they were zig-zagging.
What were we supposed to do? Split up.
We'll run them down.
- We're not gonna make it like this.
- What? Leave me.
Leave me.
I'll hold them back as long as I can.
Karen, no! We have to get you back to your family.
You're my family, too.
[HEARTFELT MUSIC PLAYS.]
Aww Well, Karen, it's been real.
Babe, let's shag ass.
Todd, no.
We stay and fight.
Goddamn, you're confident.
It is so hot.
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
We can lose him in the warehouse! - Which way is that? - This way! Seriously? The cliff?! All right, this one's on me.
I am all turned around.
What do we do? Do we jump?! He's right behind me! What are you idiots waiting for? We gotta jump! ALL: No! - [SPLAT.]
- [ALL GROAN.]
Oh, God! He exploded! [BLOWS RASPBERRY.]
- Oh, no! - Dipshit.
JESS: Aah! [AS STEVE.]
Oh, nice, Jess! No! My stick I shall never find another like you.
[NORMAL VOICE.]
How 'bout this one? Oh, hell, yeah! That one's even better! [GUNSHOT.]
- We gotta go! Go! - Jesus! Yeah! [WIND WHISTLING.]
- [WHISPERING.]
Move your foot! - [WHISPERING.]
I can't! [WHISPERING.]
Will you two shut up?! [GUN COCKS.]
[THUD.]
GUARD: [FADING.]
Aah! [SPLAT.]
[HEROIC MUSIC PLAYS.]
FLORENCE: Steve? That's right, with his classic bucket hat in tow.
Oh! Oh, Goddamn it! [BLEEP.]
I just got that hat.
[GRUNTS.]
[ALL BREATHING HEAVILY.]
I can't believe I lost that hat.
Steve, we saw you die.
What happened? Well, I remember falling.
And then, everything went black.
I came to in a crevasse.
[HYPERVENTILATING.]
How I survived the fall, God only knows [COUGHS.]
but probably my muscles.
I had to get the arrow out, but when I went to move Aah! I discovered that my bracelet was pinned between two boulders.
[WEEPING.]
But try as I may, nothing I did could free me.
Aah! DANNY: Like "127 Hours"? What? No.
Probably two, three hours maximum.
But as time wore on, I began to accept, "This is where I'll die.
" So, I prepared to greet death like a man! [WEEPING LOUDLY.]
And then, I thought of Luther LUTHER: I'm on land! [LAUGHS.]
- [EXPLOSION.]
- [WEEPS LOUDER.]
STEVE: and the man who killed him! [LAUGHS EVILLY.]
So I was like, "I cannot die here! Not while Declan lives!" So I pulled the arrow out with my bare hands! [SCREAMING.]
And as for those immovable boulders you'll never guess what I used to gain my freedom.
The chess piece! You used it to chisel your way out! Oh, my God, it did pay off! What? No! Why? Do you think that would've worked? I didn't even think of this! Yes! This would've been perfect! Well, so how did you get out? [GROANING, LIQUID RUNNING.]
I actually just peed on my hand, and it just slipped straight out.
- [THUMP.]
- Aah! [LAUGHS MANIACALLY.]
Ew So, yeah, but I still believe this little priest character's gonna come in handy somehow.
Well, we're gonna need everything we've got.
I mean, those rich assholes are still out here gunning for us.
Well, if they're out here, then the mansion Is wide-open! OWEN: Okay, we gotta get to that radio.
[GLASS SHATTERS.]
STEVE: Shit, they're here.
Grab a weapon! Dudes! KAREN: Steve.
You're alive! So, there I was, at the bottom of a crevasse - Steve! - Hm? The radio.
Oh, yes! The radio.
And then And then, my story, 'cause I'm telling it.
It's one of the greatest things that's ever happened to me.
You're not gonna believe it.
They must've snuck inside.
Declan, what if they get to the radio? Trust me, that won't be a problem.
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]