Wrestlers (2023) s01e02 Episode Script

Cheap Heat

[man] One of the things that made
wrestling so good back in the day
was the narrating.
- Jim Ross.
- [Al] Yeah.
- [man 2] I loved how excited he'd be.
- [man] Then you'd feel it.
- [man 2] Exactly.
- [man] "My good God Almighty."
Then you feel like
something crazy just happened.
The Attitude Era, for me, with The Rock
and Stone Cold was the best.
They literally just did punches and kicks,
but they told a story.
- [Al] Mm-hmm.
- They didn't have to do anything.
- That's what's so much better.
- [Al] That's what I'm trying to teach you.
[Joe] You used to feel like it was real.
It was authentic. It was intense.
You'd get into it.
Whereas now you're watching
and it's really kind of corny,
and they're, like, really acting.
Think about it. When's the last time
that a match sold WrestleMania,
not WrestleMania sold WrestleMania?
- [Kal] Cena/Rock.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- It's been that long.
I'm not knocking them,
because they're making money.
- [Kal] Right.
- [Al] They got a hell of a house.
It's just, the problem is,
too many of these guys sell what they do
- [Joe] Not why they do it.
- [Al] Not why.
They're just doing physical move
to next physical move.
The objective for their TV program
is the same as our TV program,
which is to make everyone on it
appear as much like a star as possible,
and then it's up to the talent
to make themselves a star.
Even in spite of myself,
screwing up as much as I did,
um, I still used it
and made myself a draw, so
And if I can do it,
I know goddamn well you guys can.
[announcer] Making his debut
in the World Wrestling Federation,
weighing 235 pounds, Avatar!
[Al] I was in WWF, and I was floundering.
And I floundered
because they were giving me a character
that wasn't an aspect of me,
and so it didn't really work.
This character was called Avatar,
where I put the mask on
and become like a Power Ranger superhero,
Mortal Kombat type of guy.
And then they put me with Marty Jannetty
and called us "The New Rockers"
and told me we were teen idols.
- You grooving with me, daddy-o?
- I'm grooving.
Hey, we're grooving now.
And, you know, I did it. But it died.
[commentator] Phineas,
double clothesline.
[Al] I was frustrated
and had a bad attitude.
At that time, I think
I'd been in the business 14 or 15 years.
And then I found a Styrofoam head.
[triumphant orchestral music plays]
[All] Literally, that day,
I'd read a book on abnormal psychology.
They'd done a case study
on a woman who had schizophrenia
with what they called
"transference disorder," meaning,
like, she heard voices from this pencil.
But she thought
the pencil was crazy, not her.
So, I thought, I'm gonna take
this Styrofoam head with me to the ring
and treat it as if it's a real person.
And I'm gonna think they're crazy, not me.
And it worked.
[crowd cheering]
[triumphant orchestral music playing]
[Al yelling]
[Al over VO] I thought
I was gonna be a heel.
It turned out the opposite.
Everybody loved it.
[crowd chanting] Head!
[Al over VO] It gave me an outlet
to where I was venting
a lot of frustration through the head.
And so it was real.
I'm not gonna let you beat me this time.
Uh-uh! Nope, nah, not this time.
[Al over VO] I'd travel by myself
with the head and go to a restaurant,
sit the head across the table from me,
and we'd talk.
I'd order two meals. I'd argue with them,
get mad they didn't eat their food.
There were times
I got kicked out of restaurants.
You believe 100% in me,
and that means
you'll believe in anything I do.
The last few weeks,
I've had a little problem
with an idiot named Al Snow.
He's carrying some plastic head around,
and he's talking to it.
[fans cheering]
[Al over VO] I had a eulogy
for a deer head on national TV.
[Al in footage] With his dying breath,
he said to me
[Al mimics deer whining]
[Al mimics deer choking]
I had hardcore matches with myself.
I wrestled the head. Nobody questioned it.
[commentator] Al Snow
is having a match with a mannequin head.
This has gotta be a first.
[Al over VO] I stopped trying to
just have a great wrestling match
and created an identifiable,
relatable character.
[growls] You're not gonna put my career
back in the pooper. No way, pal!
Not since I got Head
have I ever went backwards.
If you make the mistake
of thinking that fame equals success,
then you're an idiot.
Because they are not one and the same.
[crowd cheering]
I've had an amazing career
'cause I've been able
to make a living doing what I love
for as long as I've gotten to do it.
[commentator] Hooks the leg. There's two!
It's over! It's over!
Mankind and Al Snow!
And in that sense,
I've been incredibly successful.
- [crowd cheering]
- [triumphant music playing]
[music fades out]
[vehicle engines rumbling]
[Reverend] Let's go!
[loud thudding]
[man yells in pain]
- [Eric] That looks painful.
- [Reverend] Get over here!
Thank you!
- [man] Get him off the ropes!
- [groans]
He's out.
[wrestlers grunting]
[wrestler yelling]
[Haley] Go left. Hit him in his face.
Do something, anything.
- [bodies thudding]
- [wrestlers yelling in the ring]
[yelling and thudding continues]
- Is it like this?
- [Eric] Yep.
- Do something.
- [Haley] Crap.
- What was that?
- I don't remember. I'm trying to tell you.
[wrestlers yelling in the ring]
- [Haley] I gotta hold on. [laughs]
- [Reverend] Go longer, a set.
[Eric over VO] We work,
wrestle, live together.
She's probably the coolest girl
I've met, to be honest,
or I wouldn't hang out with her so much.
You're just in a rush.
Gotta slow down.
[Eric over VO] We're really different,
but if you were the same, it'd be boring.
[Reverend] I wanna get
You, get in on this.
- [Haley] Me?
- This is you all day.
All day.
You all sell too easy.
I give you all a push,
and literally y'all be
- [Haley] That's me.
- [Reverend] That's not exaggeration.
Y'all selling too much. Keep it realistic.
Oh yeah.
Come on!
[Haley groans]
[Reverend] There we go.
That's looking better.
[Haley] I am 22. He is 36.
I like them grown, you know?
He's been in 25 years, so his goals
are a little bit different than mine.
Um, I'm still fresh and feel like
I have all the time in the world.
I can do a hammer lock, beotch.
I can't do the switchy thing.
- We can do it.
- I can, the most basic one, swervo.
Can't fucking do it, can you?
Should learn how.
[Haley over VO] It can cause issues.
We always say it's not a competition,
but it feels like a competition sometimes.
Wrestling's new to her, and it's
real exciting to her, all the positives.
And I feel like she hasn't seen
how this ruins people's lives yet.
I've been around long enough to not only
have my life ruined a couple times,
but see what it's done to people.
You ain't got nothing? Didn't think so.
You got this one, kid?
[Eric over VO] When I started, I was 15.
But I had a different mentality then.
I wanted the fame,
the world, the money, and all that stuff,
which is where she's at.
It's better for me
that I didn't make it when I was younger
because I wouldn't
have been able to handle it.
So, am I upset
that she's having success? No.
But am I concerned that she's gonna
let it go to her head? Who wouldn't be?
- [crowd yelling]
- [Bryan] Oh no!
God, you believe that?
[interviewer] What was that like
to knock your mom out?
It was good.
She been beating me up for 22 years.
[crowd yelling in shock]
[commentator] She had it coming.
[Haley] If you watch the video back,
you see me do a circle,
and I took a deep breath.
I could feel all the
I felt like freaking Hulkamania
or something. It's ridiculous.
- [fan whistling excitedly]
- [crowd cheering]
[Haley] Let's be honest,
I'm the most entertaining female at OVW.
Whether or not
I'm a bad guy or a good guy,
I'm entertaining,
and people just like to watch me.
[man] Two shows, going on three.
- [man 2] It should probably be a DQ.
- [man] What?
[Al] Trying to figure out Haley and Maria.
Because you guys did
such a good job on Thursday,
gotta strike while the iron's hot.
- [man] Yes, let's do that.
- Yeah, let's do that.
[interviewer] Who's responsible
for developing stories?
- That's your job?
- That's me.
I'll start putting
TV together a little bit.
And put Hal in there.
Every week, I've got to put together
a picture puzzle.
The challenge is to outdo
the week that you did before,
but logically progress the story.
Omar stands his ground,
but Amon, from behind, kaboozles him.
[Al over VO] Creatively, what I try to do
is go in four-to-six-week arcs,
ending in the pay-per-view event.
[man] Uh, Hal and Cash, Cash is over.
There we go.
A pay-per-view match
is significant in a number of ways.
One, we have more marquee-type matches.
And also, you know, its pay-per-view.
So, hopefully, we've told
a good enough story
and generated enough heat through TV
that will motivate some people
to wanna buy the pay-per-view
and to watch these matches
and see the outcomes.
Every pay-per-view
I've been a part of, they've been raucous.
They are ready to cheer, boo, cry,
throw stuff, whatever it is they do.
Pay-per-view matches,
there's always more hype behind them.
There's always more hoopla.
It's the place
that we do all of our payoffs
- [man] All our storylines build to this.
- Our storylines build to this.
[interviewer] Haley.
How does her story develop?
[Al] I was gonna go one direction,
but Haley told me that she doesn't mind
She's gonna cut her hair.
She doesn't mind.
I said, if you cut your hair,
we have to go to a hair versus hair match.
- [interviewer] What is hair versus hair?
- Well, if you lose, you lose your hair.
I'm about to cut my hair off,
so if you want to
Okay. Then that's what we'll do.
[Al over VO] I ain't gonna shave her bald,
but you've got to cut hair
because if you don't cut hair,
people are going to be pissed,
will burn the town to the ground.
If you're willing to do it,
we'll sell a match,
especially if it's two girls, right?
- [Al] Hey.
- [man] Listen up.
We've got one week
to sell the pay-per-view.
So let's do everything we can
to get the word out as much as we can.
[Al over VO] It's about viewers.
That is solely the one
quantifiable measurement of success.
And that's how this business works.
We work off of what we draw.
If we're not drawing,
we ain't making money.
If we can get 500 or more people
around the world to watch it,
that's where the real money's at.
How much am I charging?
On pay-per-view, it's 14.99.
And I need
500 pay-per-view buys to make a profit.
If I get less than 500,
then I've got to sit down, re-evaluate,
and keep trying
to piece the puzzle together.
It's a challenge.
It comes down to, if you give
the audience what they wanna see,
then they'll probably pay to see it.
Hi there, fans. Ray Morgan welcoming you
with the best in professional wrestling.
It's no coincidence that wrestling
and TV sort of go hand-in-hand.
Welcome to Wrestling Challenge,
where we feature the superstars
of the World Wrestling Federation.
What live television does
is it presents it as a real sport.
We've got one whale of a tag team match
in the feature match.
And it also makes you sit there and wait
and watch and wonder what's gonna happen.
[commentator] What you gonna do, Rock?
All you have to do is put one camera
on the ring and you get an entire story.
It's simple, and it's easy to understand,
even on a little TV in black and white.
Wrestling is this coming Friday night
at the Mid-South Coliseum here in Memphis.
[David] In the early days,
the TV shows existed as commercials
to drive people to the live events.
[announcer] Welcome to WrestleMania.
[interviewer] Have you ever seen such
bedlam and pandemonium in your life?
- Never.
- [man] For pay-per-view, call today.
[David] When pay-per-view takes over,
the big events on TV,
the broadcasting rights
and pay-per-view money
become their prime revenue drivers.
[crowd shouting]
[commentator] Listen to these fans!
[commentator 2] Almost outta the ballpark!
[David] Even if you don't make money,
how much more attention
are you getting from a weekly live show?
How much more are you in the conversation?
Wrestling doesn't exist
without television.
It's part of wrestling.
That's why you do it.
Whether or not it loses money
is beside the point.
[Al] Television is the preeminent thing.
Otherwise, you're just another
once-a-month, independent wrestling show.
[crowd cheering]
There's no real future, no real business,
no real sustainability without TV.
[man] It's great to get together.
Al is at the arena and cannot make it.
[Matt] I'm glad this is the group
because we need to have
a real talk about some of this.
There's a tension between Al's desire
to produce
the best television show possible
and attempting to manage expenses.
The reality is, every time
we go on the air, we lose money.
And that is not going to change
until we sell TV ads,
but we don't have a sales force.
As of right now, you know how much
ad revenue we make off our TV show?
Maybe a hundred dollars or so.
We can't sell ads
'cause we don't get good ratings.
You know, we're on four local channels.
We're on a zillion streaming networks,
but you gotta search to find us.
We're on TV, but only barely.
Nobody in the country does it
but two major behemoth,
billion-dollar corporations and us.
When we go out on tour in the summer,
every show, I make a profit.
So the summertime is the one time
we can make a little bit of money.
I would say, of the 35 shows,
30 were booked by me,
probably three to five
where Bryan or Al had some connection.
But the reality is they booked them
for prices where we lose money.
Now, in Al's mind, TV is what matters
'cause he grew up
in a time when TV, TV, TV.
And so there's always that tension
of Al sort of thinking TV
and me going, "Man, we are losing money.
We gotta do things that make money."
["Come Sail Away" playing]
Welcome! Kentucky Sports Radio.
You know, Saturday night,
we're kicking off the summer OVW tour.
Country Boy Brewing.
It's such a cool environment.
I'm sailing away ♪
[Al] Ready for the summer?
You excited to run away with the circus?
Set an open course for the Virgin Sea ♪
- [Matt] Fellas.
- [Deget] How are you?
[Matt] Are we excited? First of 33.
- We may have too many people.
- [Deget] That's what's up.
- Call the fire marshal.
- Shh! Don't say that.
Don't say anything about fire marshals.
Last thing we need is a fire marshal.
We're talking about 33 shows.
How many are we gonna see Matt Jones at?
On board, I'm the captain ♪
So climb aboard ♪
- [Matt] This is how you come out?
- No, I don't wanna burn extra calories.
My body is a temple and a machine.
I'm efficient, and I'm done walking.
And I'll try ♪
Oh Lord, I'll try ♪
[Matt] I'm worried we have too many.
There's nothing we can do.
The people we've sold,
we gotta let them in.
- [Ryan] Rock and roll!
- [man] Yeah!
[Ryan] Let's rock! Yes, thank you.
- [Matt] This has to go outside.
- [Amon] They told us
- [Matt] Who?
- Country Bill.
- Okay. For rain. I got you. Okay.
- [woman] We'll take it back.
[Amon] Chill. It's okay.
You're tense. Chill.
[Matt] I like you,
but don't tell me to chill.
You don't get to talk to people that way
because you're stressed.
- You're stressed and anxious. Chill.
- [Matt] Right. I appreciate your help.
Reflections in the waves
Spark my memory ♪
Boys, do what you gotta do.
The doors are about to open.
[doorman] We're gonna
get ready to open the doors.
- We need to scan tickets on your phone.
- Can I have your autograph?
- Sure. How are you doing, brother?
- Good.
Nice to see you all.
And the dreams ♪
- Thanks.
- She loves listening to you.
- No, you don't! Do you really?
- [man] I swear it.
I love me some Haley J!
But somehow we missed out ♪
On the pot of gold ♪
It'll be a great crowd, great summer.
I'm really proud of all you guys.
This is the future of this company,
and it begins tonight.
Thank you all very much.
I appreciate everything.
[wrestler whoops]
To carry on ♪
[announcer] How are you feeling tonight?
[crowd cheering]
[shouts] Are you ready?
[crowd cheering]
A gathering of angels ♪
Appeared above my head ♪
They sang to me this song of hope ♪
And this is what they said ♪
They said ♪
Come sail away, come sail away ♪
Come sail away with me, lads ♪
Come sail away, come sail away ♪
Come sail away with me ♪
Come sail away, come sail away ♪
[shouts] Yeah!
Come sail away with me, babe ♪
Come sail away, come sail away ♪
Come sail away with me ♪
[Ryan] Tonight, it's not about wrestling.
It's my hatred
for the University of Kentucky!
When you see us go to these communities,
a lot of those people are fans of mine
or heard about it through me,
trying the product for the first time.
I came up with this idea.
There's a big rivalry.
University of Kentucky versus Louisville.
C, A, T, S! Cats, cats, cats!
[Matt over VO] By making it UK and U of L,
it's easy for therm to know
who to cheer for and who to boo.
- Al thinks it's stupid.
- [man] Who's in the ring?
[Al over VO] There's regional rivalry.
That's great locally.
It doesn't mean anything to an audience
we're trying to reach around the country.
They don't care.
[man] Get in this!
[Al over VO]
That's what we call cheap heat.
It's easy. It's a spectacle. It's a sham.
It's just getting a reaction.
It's just getting noise.
There's no story there.
They think
I don't really know about wrestling.
- [crowd yelling]
- [man yells] Yeah!
I think, "Do you all see this crowd?
I know something."
["Come Sail Away" playing]
[crowd booing]
I thought that they were angels ♪
But to my surprise ♪
We climbed aboard their starship ♪
And headed for the skies ♪
Come sail away, come sail away ♪
Come sail away with me ♪
This summer, I'm taking them
all over the state
to places where there's big audiences,
and I think they appreciate that,
even though they don't understand who I am
or how I'm getting these people to show.
Come sail away with me ♪
Come sail away ♪
[Matt] I'm trying to make it
to where I will bring the eyes.
You win them over for life.
[crowd chanting] One more time!
[Matt cheers]
Come sail away, come sail away ♪
Come sail away with me ♪
[music fades]
- [Haley] You're interrupting again.
- [Maria] I'm not. We need to talk.
[Haley] We need to talk?
How about, I don't wanna talk to you?
Mother of the year!
You did so freaking good!
What about, you haven't been in my life.
I don't want you in my life,
so why don't you quit
interrupting my shit?!
- Cut out the "shit."
- Whoo!
- [man] We have to bleep the "shit."
- That was beautiful though.
- [Haley] Sorry!
- A minute. Perfect!
- That's the one. One fucking take.
- Love you.
- [Maria] Love you.
- [Bryan] Jesus.
[Haley] Cut the
Yep, we got 144 leis.
I got some palm trees for the ramp,
but if you see anything
cheap and cool, absolutely.
I've been here for four years now.
- A luau.
- [Bryan] What do you think?
Steve and I, my buddy and co-commentator,
we had a podcast for a little bit
about wrestling, and Al came on.
And at the end, I was like,
"If you ever need any help at OVW,
I'd love to be involved."
And he's like, "Sure, start coming to TV."
And sure enough, we came to TV Thursday,
and he said, "Here's the camera,"
and then left us.
So we've been doing that ever since.
Cut. There we go.
Honestly, one of the big strengths
OVW has is we are small enough to try
some really weird
and fun things in our weekly TV.
You're not finna touch a superstar, honey!
You don't get to cut my hair!
We're not beholden to some network.
We can do stories
we think are good stories.
There we go! Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut!
That was beautiful.
That was beautiful. All right.
We're doing something unprecedented
in professional wrestling.
We're an independent promotion
that runs weekly television.
No one else does that.
[commentator] Competitive by the week. Oh!
[Bryan] It's a hard financial road to walk
and, constantly, I'm worried,
"Will this be the week we don't have
enough to keep the lights on?"
Folks, I'm excited
about this episode of OVW TV
[Al] Television allows you
to literally develop a reality.
- So, you know
- [man] What's going on?
- How are you, Luke?
- Hey, can I talk to you?
- [Al] Sure. I live for it.
- Listen, man.
There's a reason why everybody
in this building walks around here
and they say, "Hey, Certified."
"What's up, Certified?"
"Can I take a picture with you?"
"Can I have your autograph, Certified?"
- Oh.
- [Certified] I'm the best.
- I wasn't aware of that.
- I should be the OVW Heavyweight Champion.
- [Al] You should?
- But you don't see it yet.
- [Al] I don't.
- So that's fine. That's fine.
You and everybody watching worldwide
is gonna see exactly
what being "Certified" is all about.
- [Al] God, I hope so.
- You can bank on it.
Thank you. Apparently,
being "Certified" means I can bank on it.
- [interviewer] What was that about?
- Fuck if I know.
[woman] Hey, Al!
[Al] It's pay-per-view week,
which means I'm going to be
assaulted by numerous talent
trying to get themselves on the show.
Wanted to get your opinion on something
I've been working on to pitch.
[Al] Everyone wants
to be a part of Creative.
What I'm thinking,
that we can create OVW's Avengers/JLA.
Of course, me being the Batman.
I'm thinking Omar's Cap, if you will.
I go up one ladder. Godderz goes up
the other. We see each other
- Yeah, it's ridiculous.
- All right.
- Just say you don't like the idea.
- It doesn't make sense.
What about, someone attacks behind me?
- But who?
- [Shera] Boom!
Who? And why would that happen?
"After the war breaks loose,
the overlords use the enforcement
to harshly maintain order."
"Al Snow attempts to negotiate
the release by giving himself."
"At that point, Hood Ninja returns."
I don't know who here's better than me.
I got the "it" factor. I got the look.
And at that point, the bubble is busted.
And Doug Basham steps up and says,
"It's me. I'm the overseer."
And a big Endgame, Infinity War.
- I know it's a lot.
- Yeah.
I'm the best here. I'm better than Shera,
Jessie, Tony Gunn. It don't matter.
Then eventually, down the road,
they can turn on me
and make me the babyface.
I mean, this is a year out.
I'm saying Whatever.
I know you like to build and stuff.
[interviewer] How would you
describe your gimmick?
It's a slippery slope, to be honest.
I can't let Al Snow hear me say this
because he wants me to be able
to define my gimmick in five words.
And to be honest,
I still don't have that figured out.
What I have been doing
is basically being like, uh,
a mercenary street thug for hire
that will take people
out of the profession
for money and gold.
I'm a real pro wrestler.
I'll beat up people in real life.
I can talk. I can back it up.
- We don't need to do that.
- [Eric] Well, just saying.
I haven't done that for a while,
since the last time I went to jail.
Been a few years.
To live your gimmick
means to carry on, in your real life,
how you do in your promos
and the way you walk out the curtain.
That's what Haley does.
[Haley] Hey, Al, I have a proposition.
Haley J is the textbook
of living her gimmick. [laughs]
- Just hear me out.
- What?
Me and Leila
[mimics rapid punches] Binka!
Do the same shit or whatever.
Leila gets a quick win, a pin.
One, two, three. She's up.
Know what I'm saying? Celebrating.
She turns. She gives me a look. I'm all
"Oh shit." I'm selling it too.
Shit, I realized I fucked up.
I try to run.
I get to the curtain. Here comes Mom.
Carries me back down to save the day.
I can be flinging around
to the point where I fucking dink myself.
And then just go loose,
and Leila's like, "Yeah!" and rolls me in.
He's thinking about it. I like this.
Yeah, his wheels are turning, see?
Well, that's what it's about.
- [Al] Okay.
- All right.
[Al] So
we do it your way.
[Haley] Yes!
[Haley grunts triumphantly]
- Yes.
- [Al] The timing is important.
You'll have to stop,
and then you've got to turn around,
like, "I'm walking on outta here."
- Not run. Walk out.
- Okay.
[Al] And then that's when Maria,
your mom, comes carrying you out.
Okay. Do you know what I mean?
Yeah. So, flop, she carries me.
She's got me all the way here.
I get loose, give her a push.
- Talk shit.
- [Al] Take your time. Then
- Take my time?
- [Al] And go.
Talk shit. "I'm outta here!" [grunts]
- [Al] Bam! Yep. Down you go.
- Slap that bitch.
[Al] Yep.
All right, bit. Perfect!
- Hey guys.
- [Bryan] How are you?
All right. Listen, are you ready to talk?
- Yes.
- Let's go back here. What's up, bro?
So, basically,
we did an overview of the finances
of the whole company
in the last few weeks.
And, you know, I
We are operating
at a pretty significant loss.
And we gotta stop operating
at a pretty significant loss.
This summer is gonna be crucial
for us determining
whether or not we can keep you,
to be quite frank, as a full-time job.
We really like you. You love this comp
You love this as much as anybody,
and I love that about you.
It's one of my favorite qualities.
But we're gonna have to find a way
for you to earn your keep this summer.
I'm gonna be honest with you.
We're gonna be judging you over the summer
on how well you bring attendance in
on these Thursday night shows.
Your job is to get this place
with as many people as possible.
Now, I wanna be able
to see your impact, okay?
I wanna stress this. It's important.
In the hotel industry,
we'd say, "Beds and heads."
Here, it's butts in seats,
and paying butts in seats.
[Matt] You know what you make.
If you can save us over the course
of 52 weeks that much money,
well, you've justified it.
But I do wanna be clear.
I have to be able,
at the end of the summer, to look and say,
"We can justify keeping Bryan
at the salary we're paying him."
Don't know why I spend 20 hours a week
doing graphics. It doesn't matter.
- [Adam] How you doing, Bryan?
- [Bryan] Anxious, but all right.
- [Adam] Anxious?
- Yeah.
[Bryan sighs]
[Al] Hopefully, I can find
what I'm looking for in here.
[man] We got this mother right here.
[Al] Oh yeah. How much is that?
[clerk] Seventy.
[Al inhales deeply and exhales]
- Shit. You shouldn't have shown that.
- [clerk chuckles]
- You know what?
- Hmm?
- I'll take it.
- All right.
I'll take it.
- Because it'll look good on TV.
- Here, take your head with you.
[clerk laughs] All right.
- [Al] Is that detachable from the outfit?
- [clerk] No, that hangs on the
[Al] Does it?
There's so much shit here.
[harp glissando plays]
My name is Zoltar the Gypsy.
I'm ready.
[Zoltar] As you travel through this life,
remember this.
If you think you can,
or you think you can't, you're right.
- Go ahead. Let Zoltar tell you more.
- That was deep. Thanks, Zoltar.
- [whirring]
- Please. Here we go.
Thank you again.
Tonight, we're shooting
the cinematic match for the pay-per-view.
My whole goal is that we give an audience
a national experience on a regional level.
I mean, we don't have a national budget.
We don't even have a regional budget.
My crew consists of one guy and a camera
and sometimes a flashlight.
I'm gonna basically do the shoot
where Crixus and Lawrence
have been transported to hell
to basically face Amon.
Tonight's gonna take a lot of work.
It's gonna take
a lot of time, a lot of direction,
but we'll make it work.
[Al sighs deeply]
I have the crash pad in the trailer.
That's why I brought this whole mess.
Yeah. The whole "spagheggi."
I think we start in the bus first.
- [Daniel] Hey, what was your fortune?
- [Al] I put it in my pocket.
[Daniel] "You bought a wrestling company.
You're fucked." There you go.
[Al and Daniel laugh]
[whimsical music playing]
I love wrestling.
[whimsical music continues]
- [Daniel] Duck, Nick.
- [Al] Duck down, Nick you turd.
- [Daniel] Here we go. Three, two
- [Al] Goddamn.
- [Daniel] Perfect.
- [Al] Good.
Three, two, one.
[men growl]
[Reverend] We love this to a fault.
We grew up, most of us
As a childhood dream,
we didn't know
it would look like this, exactly.
We thought it'd be more in our underwear,
wrestling with other guys.
[Amon] In the grand scheme of things,
what we get paid is gas money.
You get gas money?
[mimics Scottish woman]
Crixus, your breakfast is ready.
Crixus, your breakfast is ready.
[Amon laughing maniacally]
- [Crixus grunting]
- [Amon laughing maniacally]
[Al] We gotta pick up the pace
a little more at the end.
It's taking a little too long, okay?
- All right.
- [Al] Ready?
[Daniel] Rolling!
[Al] Three, two, one.
[Amon] Crixus,
your breakfast is ready!
[Amon laughing maniacally]
- [Amon laughing maniacally]
- [Crixus grunting]
[Daniel] Cut!
That was much better. Timing was better.
[Daniel] And three, two
[whimsical music playing]
Three, two, one!
[Amon laughing hysterically]
- [Daniel] Ready!
- Three, two, one.
[Amon laughing hysterically]
[Al groans]
[Daniel] Could work.
[whimsical music continues]
[wrestlers laugh maniacally and growl]
[Daniel] Perfect. Wrap!
[Al] We're done, boys and girls.
This literally looks like a nightmare.
I can't thank you guys enough.
I know you're tired and work jobs,
and then come out here and do this.
I appreciate you doing this.
This is gonna make the show
a hundred times better.
It'll be something
that nobody else is doing,
other than WWE.
And even then,
they don't do it like we do, so
I wanted to make you guys look like stars.
That's the point of doing it, so
- Enough of the lovefest.
- [Daniel] Good.
- [Al] You guys don't have to go home
- [Crixus] Thank you.
- [Al sighs deeply]
- [Amon] Thank you. One man
[soothing music playing]
[Al] Hi, Bryan.
- I'm gonna fall asleep in your office.
- You'll be all right.
[Bryan] This week, I'm a little burnt.
- Wanna come to the golf scramble?
- No, I don't.
- Worth a shot.
- I know. Not gonna happen.
- We'd have a good time.
- We won't.
I'm gonna make sure everything's set up,
then get an hour in with my kid
before he has to go back to his mom.
- [Al] Thought you were hitting your balls.
- No, I'm getting that enough this week.
- [Al laughs] You'll be all right.
- Thanks, Dad!
[comical trumpet music playing]
[Matt] Welcome back!
Kentucky Sports Radio. 502-571-1080.
Just acting naturally here
at the KSR Golf Scramble.
We're gonna have a big crowd here.
Ready to play some golf!
This is probably the most people
we've ever had. Excited for the day.
Lee Greenwood's in the house.
Good to see you.
Wow, that's the most patriotic
[man] Headcovers?
[Matt] That is a heck of a look
by my man right there.
[comical trumpet music continues]
[inhales deeply]
[groans] Okay. Big enough for the cooler.
There we go.
All right, this'll work. Um
[sighs] Well, this isn't embarrassing.
- Hello.
- Hello.
[Bryan] Oh, you know,
just a little morning cardio. Thank you.
- [Matt] This is something you wanna carry.
- Great table, Bryan.
[Bryan] Anybody help me carry things?
- Somebody help him carry those beers.
- [Bryan] What's going on with the hole?
What's going on with the hole
is when a man loves a woman
Yep, Ryan, I love you to death.
he goes for the secret passage,
and, hopefully, if she loves him,
she does not smack him too hard,
unless he's into that.
I need a real answer.
I've paid for these It's hole number two,
if that tells you anything.
Hey, first of all, thank you, guys,
very much for coming out.
This has become the largest
local sports radio show in the country,
and that's because of you all.
You don't know how much I appreciate it.
So thank you very much.
I apologize. I'm gonna set this up
and leave immediately
so I can spend 20 minutes with my kid
before he goes back to his mom's.
[man] You drove to Lexington
just to drop stuff off?
- Yeah.
- [man] You're a badass, man.
[Bryan] I'll do the first run.
I gotta get outta here.
[Matt] Off that cart.
[Bryan] Both y'all sit.
I'll hold on to the back.
Yeah, absolutely.
[Matt] One thing I've tried to merge is,
we've got this radio fan base.
It's all over the state.
How do I get them interested in wrestling?
One of the ways I found it is,
if they meet the wrestlers,
they'll like 'em, generally speaking.
[Cash Flo growls]
[Matt] They give you your own cart.
Don't go there! No, Ryan!
You can't drive up on the tee.
[Ryan] What's a tee?
[chuckles] I thought you said
you knew golf?
- Go that way.
- [Ryan] Okay.
[Matt chuckles]
[Ryan] Two!
[Bryan] I mean it this time.
I think I am done now.
My apologies, guys. I hate to cut and run.
- Got her.
- [Matt] Bam!
[Ryan] All right, who's next?
- Y'all ready?
- [man] Yeah, whatever.
- Don't wanna take your shirt off?
- Do it!
- [man 2] Do it!
- [laughter]
- [all groan]
- Dang! Nice shot.
- [laughter]
- [man 2] Whoo!
Nice shot.
- [laughter]
- Whoo!
- [man 2] Yeah!
- [woman] Hit him again!
- Nice and tight!
- [woman 2] Whoa.
[woman] That's hard.
[Bryan] Hey, kiddo.
I'm so sorry, man.
I heard your mom's gonna pick you up.
This was not a fair week to you.
It's been busy.
We haven't got time together. I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
Again, today, it got away from me.
It didn't go the way I planned,
and it got a little hectic.
I don't like losing time with you.
All right, kiddo. I'm sorry about today,
and I'm sorry about this week.
I promise next week
will be different, okay?
[sniffs] I love you more than anything.
[sentimental music playing]
You can give
the phone back to Ash if you want.
[Matt] Hey, Cash, is he all right?
[Cash Flo] He was supposed
to get with his son.
[Matt] Man, I'm sorry.
[Bryan sniffs] Hey, babe, uh
- Thanks for your help today.
- [Bryan] Of course.
That was sufficiently heartbreaking.
[Bryan] I know what I do
and work my ass off
and give them 40-plus a week,
they don't see that.
Now I'm trying to do even extra,
and I only have so much of me to give.
I don't know what the fuck to do.
It's just heavy right now.
Pleasure, guys.
The threat of losing OVW
is a bit more than losing a job.
I shouldn't feel this way,
but failure would feel like
losing my identity a little bit.
I feel gratified at OVW.
I'm part of something
bigger than myself at OVW.
I feel like what I do matters.
So I can get other jobs.
I can make other money.
I can't make another OVW.
- Bye, guys. I love you all.
- [man] See you!
- See you in a couple minutes.
- [Bryan] Yeah
- [Haley] My pictures are ten.
- [Eric] Man.
[Haley] Stickers, three for ten.
[Eric] We need a plan.
It's getting serious.
- [Haley] Thanks for your time.
- [Eric] Till we meet again.
[man] Between you, do you compete?
Who makes more?
We don't compete 'cause I would lose.
I don't like competitions I can't win.
So I'm not trying
to compete with the girl.
She'll probably sell
three shirts to one of mine.
But she got more pictures,
and she's prettier than me.
So I ain't mad about it,
know what I'm saying?
I'm gonna sell shit tonight, just watch.
It's going down. It's going down.
- [Leila sighs] Hope we got a big house.
- [Haley] Think we might.
I read the comments,
and people was talking about,
"I'm only buying
the pay-per-view for the Haley J match."
I'm like, "Yeah, you are."
Hell yeah. I've never done
one of these matches.
- It's gonna be awesome.
- [Haley] It'll be fun. Me neither.
Better than the ladder match.
I'd shit my pants
if we had to do the ladder match.
What do you want?
I would say as high
as you guys feel comfortable.
[Ryan] Jesus Christ. Holy shit.
You know we're on.
Big night tonight, yeah.
Hopefully, we'll draw a good house.
It should be good. I feel like
we're gonna have a good audience.
[Jessica] How many
tickets sold for ringside?
It was either 21 or 23.
We should be able to do it
over by commentary, against that wall.
It's kind of a live event,
but it's kind of not.
You can't start slow.
If you don't sell the intent,
you don't sell aggression out of the gate.
- [wrestler] Slow, yeah.
- This.
I do that, and you give me a punch.
One more. Boom. No.
Third one, give you a fucking clothesline.
- Boom!
- Nope. [grunts]
You explode. Third one, you just
stand there like that and explode. Pow!
- Thank you.
- No problem.
Thank you.
Thanks, both of you guys, for real.
[tense music playing]
[Maria] Give me the finish
to the Haley match.
Haley will take the finish.
She gets beat, one, two, three.
[Haley] Bip, bop, finish.
"Please don't do it."
She looks around, and then I fucking dip.
Haley now gets away
and runs through the curtain,
only to be met by you.
- Pick her up.
- [Maria] Okay.
[Al] If she can cry,
that would be awesome.
Mama Bear brings me down.
I'll push her off me.
Talk shit and I'm out of here. Boom!
She'll run herself headlong
into the post, knocking herself out.
- [chuckling]
- [man laughs] That's great.
Leila will snatch her up.
A lot of this is all Haley's idea.
Leila puts me in the ring,
cuts the hair, tosses it up like a party.
[man] I watched it on TV for forever.
I mean, it's great on TV,
it really is, but it's better in person.
It's money well spent.
[telephone ringing]
[woman] Master control.
Can you call us from another number?
We changed phones.
So this is our master control for WBNA 21.
- What is it?
- [woman] There's audio in the background.
[Trey] We are religious programming
six days a week.
So we're a mix of family
and faith-based programming.
We've been a really good partner with OVW
for a long time, several years now.
And we get more feedback
from OVW than anything else.
We'll get several phone calls
the next morning if something goes wrong
or something has happened,
or they feel like
the show was cut off for some reason.
[Al] All right, goddammit.
Turn the walkie on.
- [man] I don't have one.
- [man 2] Want me to go get it?
- [Al sighs wearily]
- Yeah
- [woman] Oh, watch out.
- [laughter]
[man] I'm uploading pre-takes.
I can't turn it on now.
- [man 2] They need the volume up.
- [man 3] Turn the channel down.
- [man 4] Twelve minutes.
- [Al] All right.
[man] Get some good shots.
If you don't get any good shots,
I'm gonna take your mom out on a date.
After I take her out, I'll move in,
and you're gonna move outta the basement.
And then I'm gonna make the basement
a den of love between me and your mom.
This does not quite look like
we sold out.
[Al] Fucking house is the shits.
Fucking So many chairs.
We should be able to sell out
this fucking building, but we're not.
What the fuck are we not doing?
I don't understand.
I mean, we're on TV every goddamn week.
What are we missing?
[tense music playing]
[woman] We have no video.
- [Trey] Audio, but no video.
- We have audio, but no video.
[Al] Every week, we have
something go fucking tits up.
- [Mr. Pectacular] You said
- [Al] We live under a curse.
[Trey] It's going to be close.
- About to go live.
- [Bryan] How much time?
[Maria] Two minutes, guys.
[man] Two minutes. My God.
- [Trey] Have it?
- [woman] Yes.
[Trey] That's good.
- We'll have a show.
- [woman] Yeah.
We're good.
- [Trey] Great!
- Yeah.
[Bryan] Davis Arena, how are you feeling?
[fans cheering]
Make sure that Linda knows.
Get word that we're about to go live.
You looking forward to
HollyHood Haley J versus Leila Grey,
hair versus hair?
- [Al] Less than a minute.
- [Maria] Less than a minute.
Shane, tell the commentators.
Tell commentators we're live
in less than a minute.
Louisville's own son, Dustin Jackson!
This motherfucking
Tell the commentators!
[Al] It's seven o'clock.
Guys, I don't know if you can hear me,
but we are live now.
It's seven o'clock. Shut the fuck up.
All right, I'm walking over here
because it's almost time to get started.
- [man] Entrance.
- Count me down.
[woman] Ten, nine
[man 2]eight, seven, six
[crowd]five, four, three
two, one. Let's hit it.
[Bryan] Welcome to OVW!
We're live. Let's go.
We got action from top to bottom.
Standing all alone
The ship is waiting ♪
All systems are go ♪
Get a shot of that Kentucky
state title hanging above the ring.
There you go. Thank you.
I'll give you a kiss later.
- And I'll make it sloppy too.
- [man over radio] Can't wait.
The countdown starts ♪
[Bryan] Tope suicida to open up here.
- [laughs] Oh yes, sir.
- [Al] Jesus.
Domingo, though, not able to capitalize.
- [Bryan] Domingo not able to capitalize
- [Al] The pressure's on.
The pressure is on!
[crowd cheering]
[Bryan] Domingo rolling him up!
Four, three, two, one.
[crowd groaning]
- [commentator] It got him.
- [Bryan] No! Both men
- Tony!
- [cheering]
[Al] Fucking potatoed him.
["Major Tom" (Coming Home) playing]
[fan whistling excitedly]
You could hear the meat
from that impact slapping.
[Bryan] You could hear that meat slap.
[crowd cheering]
Two meat-slapping mastodons.
[commentator] Thunder bomb!
Can't believe that!
[Bryan] I think the ring broke in half!
It is on! We are through
the tenth match here with the
Earth below us ♪
Drifting, falling ♪
Floating, weightless ♪
- [Al] He literally took them both out.
- [Bryan] Amir has taken them both out!
[man] Huge comeback. Huge comeback.
Four, three, two, one.
[siren blaring]
[Bryan] The Women's Championship
not on the line,
only hair, pride, respect.
- [bell rings]
- [wrestlers grunting]
[Bryan] We may not even need the scissors.
They'll rip hair out with their fists.
[Maria] Haley, roll up. There you go.
Al, they're about to roll out.
[Al] Get a camera over there.
We've gotta follow them.
[crowd shouting and clapping]
[Al] No count-outs
in a hair versus hair. Anything goes.
[Bryan] Oh no! Oh my God!
We've seen everything
but the kitchen sink in this trash can.
- [commentator] No, Leila!
- [Bryan] Oh God!
Haley J just got taken to the trash!
They're making it look like a fight.
Now, that's good.
These ladies are going at it!
[Bryan] She caught Haley off the Pelé.
[commentator] Two No!
Leila did it! Leila did it!
Leila won the hair versus hair.
- Haley J is getting a cut!
- [Haley yells] No!
[commentator] The fans
do not want to see a haircut here.
- [crowd shouting]
- [Haley shouts] Not today!
[Bryan] HollyHood is outta here.
[Al] Here comes Mama.
- [commentator] Amazing Maria!
- [commentator 2] HollyHood's mom!
That's no way to treat your daughter.
This is child abuse.
- You have to get your hair cut.
- I don't care! I'm outta here!
[commentator] She's outta here. [laughs]
- [Al] She did good.
- [Bryan] Knocked herself out cold.
[Al] Get her in the ring.
Make sure you get this shot.
[Bryan] Leila Grey's
got the scissors on the hair!
Haley J's hair has been cut!
[crowd cheering]
OVW Women's Champion standing tall.
"The Unstoppable Danger" Leila Grey.
Recap what's happened
between Crixus and Amon.
[Bryan] We saw Amon fight Crixus
in his home turf,
in an underground fight club.
But tonight, we are going to see
Crixus and Luscious Lawrence
enter the Hell House of Amon.
- Hell House of Horrors is up next.
- [Reverend] Let's go.
You can take it.
- [Jessica] Here we go.
- [Reverend] I ain't seen this.
- [ominous music playing]
- [evil laughter]
- [Reverend laughing]
- [Amon] Dang.
That looked so good.
[Reverend] Awesome.
[Amon mimics female]
Crixus, your breakfast is ready.
- [Jessica] The monitor
- [Daniel] It's the VCR tracking.
[Maria] It's messing up.
It's something with the wiring. It does
not look like this on the broadcast.
- [Jessica] The broadcast is fine.
- [Al] Yeah.
[Amon in video] Your breakfast is ready!
[Amon laughs maniacally]
[Reverend] This is the best part. Look.
- Perfect.
- [surprised laughter]
That was dope!
[man] Man, that was good.
[sighs in relief]
[suspenseful music playing]
[Jessica] This looks so good.
- [woman] He's in a school bus.
- [man] Yeah.
How scary does that look? Man!
- [woman 2] Have we all night?
- [Amon] Awesome.
[eerie music playing]
- Yeah, I think so. They had to.
- Masterpiece, Al. Masterpiece.
- We're gonna win an Emmy for this.
- [man] This is amazing.
[snarls and growls]
[laughs maniacally]
We gotta sell the intensity
when we go out there in that ring.
Tumble out. You know what I mean?
[both laughing maniacally]
- [Amon] Go now?
- Go!
[man] Tumble! Go!
- [crowd shouting in surprise]
- [commentator] How did that happen?
- [Bryan] I dunno.
- Pick it up on
- Pick it up on TV.
- [Maria] Oh, there they are.
What the hell is happening
at Davis Arena tonight?
These guys fought
through a freaking portal.
- [bell rings]
- And now Amon
Is this an official match?
[commentator] The bell rung.
This one's underway.
- [Bryan] Oh!
- [crowd shouts]
[Al] When we do our pay-per-views,
I love being able to tell these stories
and give an audience an experience
they couldn't imagine getting
at a wrestling show.
- [Bryan] Here's Amon!
- [commentator] The Demon!
[Bryan] Demon Magnate
coming through that same portal.
We're putting on really good stuff.
I'm not saying that because I'm involved.
I mean, it really is.
If you could go back
to when we first bought the company,
to where it is now, we've come so, so far.
[sentimental music playing]
[crowd shouting]
[Bryan] This is the best OVW
has been in an easy 20 years.
WWE, AEW, fantastic. They're great.
They're overproduced, in your face.
They're a Michael Bay action movie.
That's awesome.
When you come to OVW,
you get Squid and the Whale,
something that's gonna make you think,
that's got a little more depth to it,
may have a little more emotion to it.
People gravitate towards that
because we're not
putting lipstick on a pig.
We're like, "Here's the pig.
Hope you like it." It's our show.
At the end of the day, the only people
we answer to is each other,
and did we put on a good show,
and did our fans enjoy it?
That's a freedom
that a lot of companies don't have.
Has The House of Luscious
relocated to the netherworld?
- [referee]two, three! Ring the bell.
- [bell rings]
[commentator] Luscious Laurence
Every week, I look around and go,
"I have no idea how we pull this off."
But we do.
[man] That actually worked out.
That worked out good.
[Amon] It all worked!
[Al] Three, two, one. We're out.
[groans] Oh my God.
Oh good Lord.
[Maria] For the most part,
it was fucking great.
Ooh, thank you, Maria.
- Thank you, Amon.
- [Amon] Yes, sir.
[Al] Thank you, Bryan.
Thank you.
[sentimental music continues]
[Haley] Didn't affect me.
It was disappointing.
I thought my match was going
to bring people in, and it did not.
It was very disappointing to me
because I thought
a couple of the matches would've
brought people in, but they didn't, so
We need to go out in Louisville
and put my face on a flyer, okay?
- [Maria] I agree.
- That's what I think.
- [Jessica sighs] That's it. Right there.
- [Al groans] Oh boy.
- This is a bad one.
- [Al] That's the bad one.
- The bad one.
- [Al] Yep.
- [Al groans] Oh my God.
- All right.
We've not done enough
as far as marketing
within Louisville itself,
as far as our events,
so that's always been a struggle.
[groans] I've pretty much exhausted every
low-cost, no-cost trick
I could think of to market.
I'll be interested to see,
buy rate-wise, how it does.
- You know what I mean?
- [Jessica] Yeah.
[Al] Hopefully, we can get at least 500.
- [Jessica] Yeah.
- [Al breathing shakily]
[Bryan] I'm surprised
we didn't have more people, Saturday.
I don't know what else I could've done.
- It was a good lineup.
- [Ashley] Hmm.
[Bryan] So I just don't fully understand
where the disconnect was.
All right,
I'm gonna hop on the Zoom with Fite.
[Ashley] Okay.
I got six minutes before this Fite call.
Wanna make out?
- [Ashley] Nope.
- Worth a shot.
- [Ashley] Thanks for the opportunity.
- No, I get it.
I wouldn't make out with me either, so
[Bryan sighs]
- Joel, how are you?
- [Joel] What's going on?
- [Bryan] Hey, Paul.
- [Paul] How are you?
- Doing well. You?
- Good.
So, how did we do on the pay-per-view,
Paul? How are we looking?
[Paul] This was 74 buys.
Sixty-three of it in the United States.
Another seven in the UK,
then Australia and Lithuania.
That's an interesting one.
Costa Rica and Spain.
Altogether, 74.
[Bryan] Shit.
[tense music playing]
[Bryan] I really expected more,
but we didn't get it.
I thought we were gonna have
at least a few hundred. So that sucked.
Talk to you guys soon. Thank you all.
- [Paul] Talk later. Bye, guys.
- Bye.
[inhales deeply and groans]
[tense music continues]
[Bryan inhales deeply and sighs heavily]
That fucking sucks.
[melancholy music playing]
Previous EpisodeNext Episode