Xena: Warrior Princess s01e07 Episode Script

So I cut off his head he falls forward.
But he's still standing.
I want you to take care of the horse.
Are you hungry ? Let's get you a snack.
Now, once we meet up with Creon and his men, we can get down to some serious looting.
There may be a change of plans.
- Don't you ever give up ? - On you, Hesiod ? No You're special to me.
Get her ! Come on.
She can't take all of us.
Get her ! Come on ! How about here ? Let me help you.
Surround her ! I said get off there ! I said get off ! So long, Xena ! Come back here ! Bring back my horse, you thief ! What have you been doing with my horse ? You told me to take care of her.
Well, you gave Hesiod a fine start.
- Sorry.
- Don't be sorry, Gabrielle just improve.
- Come on.
- Hey ! Try it once more, this time faster.
Faster, slower.
What difference does it make ? The chant doesn't work.
This is a waste of our time.
Let's go.
No, please ! It's worth trying again.
You're all aware of the problems in our village.
- If this can work, it may solve everything.
- But it doesn't work.
I think it will, if it's read correctly.
She's read it five different ways.
- What could be the problem ? - The rhythms.
I know this is really rude, but Well, he's right.
She's not reading it correctly.
Well, that's a Dorian chant, and she's using Ionian rhythms.
I've made quite a study of this.
Shall I try ? You see, you just put the emphasis on the first syllable.
Which one of you was the liberator of the Titans ? This virgin.
We honor you, oh sacred goddess.
Tell us your name, so we may honor it as a holy word.
We are your servants.
Whatever you desire, we will fulfill.
Give us your commands.
All right.
In a time of ancient gods warlords and kings A land in turmoil cried out for a hero She was Xena a mighty princess, forged in the heat of battle The power The passion The danger Her courage will change the world Come on Where are your men ? They're coming.
I rode ahead.
What's the matter ? Somebody after you.
Yeah.
How many ? - One.
- One ? What's the problem ? There's two of us ! Because, that's the one.
I'll take care of her.
You let me walk out of here, or I cut his throat.
All right, you got me.
Go ahead ! I'll just sit here nice and quiet.
What're you gonna do with him ? - Let him learn a lesson.
- Are you a bounty hunter ? No, I just like seeing murdering thieves put where they belong.
Hey, what's going on ? Looks like the tide has turned, Xena.
Take her ! No, no, no Let me go Xena.
Even I'm not worth taking on a dozen men all on your own.
She's not on her own.
You gonna smite us, little girl ? No.
He is.
Disperse these ruffians ! Get off of me ! - Run ! - Out of my way ! They're Titans.
They scared me at first, too, but they're really very nice.
This is Xena ! She's my best friend ! We honor all friends of the virgin goddess.
You know I'd I'd rather you not tell everybody I'm a virgin it's kind of personal You know what I mean ? Whatever you say, oh sacred one.
Don't be afraid.
The Titans are our friends.
They're gonna help us with our problems.
Yeah.
You ! Clear the well Phyleus told us about ! And, what was the other thing ? - The dam needs to be fortified.
- Right the dam.
You ! Get some big boulders and plop them down where they'll do the most good ! Oh, and that road we passed was covered with the mudslide.
You can do that after the dam.
And then, I'll see you when your chores are done.
Yes, sacred one.
Don't tarry ! You don't want to make the goddess cross, do you ? Goddess ! She's On behalf of everyone here, let me extend the thanks of our entire community.
Think nothing of it I'm happy I could help out.
May I speak with you for one moment, oh sacred one ? Of course.
Let's give a cheer to the liberator of the Titans ! 'Talk to you when you're done with your chores ? ' I'm Hyperion, sun Titan, lord of the skies ! Why am I playing in the mud ? Titaness it's been a long time in those rocks.
The goddess said we're to clear this road ! - I don't believe she is a goddess.
- Of course she is she liberated us, didn't she ? We should do as we're told.
We'll have time for this later.
Crias is right.
We should do as the goddess desires.
The goddess desires that we help humans.
Well, that's just fine with me.
I always liked them.
I despise them.
Well, the sacred one is obviously their friend.
We best not incur her wrath.
She may appear sweet, but, who knows what destructive powers she may possess ? Thank you.
This is for you.
Please, please.
I'm not looking for worldly rewards.
I'll be satisfied if I can make your little community whole again with the help of the Titans, of course.
And I don't plan to stop here.
No.
I'm gonna take the Titans with me, throughout the world solving mankind's problems wherever we go.
We could start a new era of peace and hope.
Yes, and we'll start by tearing down all the forts and armaments.
You're amused.
That one Titan, the one who wasn't happy with you ordering him around He didn't seem like the peace and hope type to me.
Then, what are you saying ? He's saying that he recognizes a kindred spirit when he sees one.
Maybe there's a reason that the gods encased them in stone.
No, you're wrong.
I trust them, Xena.
- You're just being too cynical.
- Do you realize the power you hold ? Yes.
- It's a big responsibility.
- She's up to it.
She can do anything.
How long do you think you can go on convincing them that you're a goddess ? If anyone can do it, it's her She has the aura of a goddess.
They're back.
You, watch him.
Finished ? Well, why don't you take a rest for a while, until I can think of what you should do next.
- Yes, oh holy one.
- Call me Gabrielle.
You can save the holy stuff for formal occasions.
- Gabrielle, we're hungry.
- Oh, of course.
You must be starving after being entombed for centuries.
You know, I'm sure that the villagers wouldn't mind if you shared with them.
Share with the villagers ? That's not what we really had in mind.
And what do you suggest ? That you use your godly powers to create a feast for us.
My godly powers.
You know, I don't use my powers in that way.
I consider it showing off.
We understand.
We'll eat with the villagers.
No ! I want the goddess to make some food appear.
You know you had better be careful, 'cause I might use my powers all right, and you can be very sorry when I do.
Of course, Hyperion didn't mean anything by it.
Well then I'll let it pass.
But the next time She's not a goddess ! How could I blow a goddess down ? She's a mere mortal.
And she was giving orders to Titans lords of the Earth.
We're gonna take all the food in this village.
And nobody better get in our way.
And you come with us.
No, she's not going anywhere.
Who are you ? Let's just say, I'm the sacred one's protector.
Protector ? You're gonna protect her from us ? If I have to.
Come on, let's get out of here ! We'll be safe in here ! Out ! Hurry, move ! I've got an idea ! Follow me ! Hurry ! Why's he leaving ? The Titans won't attack this temple.
It honors their brother, Cronus.
This is holy ground for them, too.
I believe Crias is still in love with you, Theia.
He loves me as a friend should.
Was it a friendly look you were giving her just now ? You never look at me like that.
Where are you going ? I want the woman warrior dead.
She stands between us and the little goddess.
We still need her for the second chant ! You do agree with that, don't you ? Good.
Now, I'll leave you two alone to enjoy your friendship.
- Help ! - Let us in, please ! More homeless.
Come in Find a place wherever you can.
Better ? Mortals ! I want the woman warrior.
Until I have her, I will destroy every human I see.
Those who bring her to me, I will make them kings of the Earth.
Why don't you just leave, and take her with you ! When I discovered that chant, I thought I was gonna bring back the golden age of man.
Instead, I've ruined the world.
How could you have known ? Saving the world is a very attractive idea.
It's nice of you to say that, but there's no way around it.
- It's all my fault.
- No when they thought that I was still a goddess, I could have done something to head this off.
You're such a noble spirit.
You're both a couple of idiots, if you ask me.
If you wanna rough him up a little, Xena, I won't be judgmental.
Rough me up ? No, she doesn't do that sort of stuff anymore.
Right, Xena ? Ah, it's a rotten pity, too.
Opportunity knocks, as we speak.
The old Xena would know what to do.
What do you mean by that ? The Titans.
I mean, they'll need an ally among the humans.
They already know how formidable you are.
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
And, if you need a lieutenant, I volunteer.
No ! What's going on ? Blue Some of the village children went on a holy walk today with one of our priests.
They haven't returned.
And now the Titans must have got them.
Guard this prisoner and be very careful, he's a dangerous man.
You you cause any trouble while I'm gone, and you'll see more of the old Xena than you ever wanted.
What is it, Hyperion ? Can't you hear it ? Oh, yes children.
Human children.
Now, come on, children, stick to the path.
We want to be back to the village before sundown.
No dawdling.
- I'm scared ! - Look ! There's nothing to worry about.
Run ! Run, children ! Run for your lives ! Hyperion ! What are you going to do ? Kill them.
Why ? I told those who were hiding in the temple that I planned to destroy everything human until they gave us the Warrior Woman.
I keep my word.
But children, Hyperion, why children ? Saves us trouble later on.
No ! Get away from them ! Stop it, you two ! You dare to defy Hyperion, the sun Titan ? Yes ! Then pay the consequences ! He said he'd make you a king.
Give them Xena.
Listen you want to go up against a force like that ? Hey if it's Xena you're afraid of, I can help.
Like she said I'm a very dangerous man.
Come on, kids ! Let's get you out of here ! One at a time ! Run, now ! No, please ! Hyperion, what have you done ? Come on kids, get inside ! Hold it ! What are you doing ? She saved our children ! We need to appease the Titans.
We can never beat them ! - Hesiod ! - You've done the right thing ! Rhodos and I will take her to the Titans and tell them that you helped us capture her.
*Woe to you who opposed us.
Swine ! Well, Xena you'll soon be in good hands.
Are we just gonna walk in there ? Hey, remember pretty soon you're gonna be King Rhodos, huh ? It's got a nice ring to it, huh ? King Rhodos.
You hear that, Xena ? You're making us royalty ! Ah, we're doing what you should have done, Xena.
We're dealing with the Titans ! You should've listened to me, Xena.
You think they'll let me have Sparta as my kingdom ? Just Sparta ? Maybe Sparta and Argos.
See now you're thinking like a king.
I'll go and tell 'em we've got her.
When I give a yell, you bring her out.
Right.
Hello, there.
Hello.
My name is Hesiod and I have some good news for you.
I've brought you the warrior woman.
Where is she ? You'll have her in a moment.
I just wanna make sure we've got a deal, here.
I don't really expect you to make me a king.
I just want to be your associate.
You'll find me invaluable.
I have no scruples whatsoever.
Fine you sound like a useful ally.
I'll take care of you.
Now where is the woman ? All right, Rhodos, bring her on ! Ah, this other guy is definitely expendable, if you know what I mean.
I present to you, Xena, the Warrior Princess ! We'd be better off ! Theia, you have to stop talking this nonsense.
Theia ! First you kill Crias, then you swat those two men out there like they were flies ! They were less than flies ! It's done ! Can't you see, none of this will bring Crias back ? I need your help.
Going against the gods will be next to impossible without you by my side.
I depend on you so much.
You shouldn't have killed Crias ! He was weak ! - He liked humans.
- Maybe I do too ! No, Theia ! They're cowards and thieves, like those two I just crushed ! Do you think any of them would ever have mercy on us if they thought they could profit by our demise ? We have to be strong, Theia.
The humans will only get in our way in our war against the gods ! We'll never win against the gods if you keep killing your compatriots ! He was one Titan ! Soon, we will awaken hundreds ! You betrayed someone who saved our children.
And now you wanna bring us further disgrace by turning two more innocent people over to the Titans.
The Titans are indestructible.
We have to get in good with them.
Now, we've already given them the Warrior Woman.
If we bring them these two, they might take mercy on us.
- Wrong.
- Xena ! - She's back ! - She got away ! After you've been around her for a while, you come to expect these things.
The Titans will have no mercy on any man.
The two men who brought me to them they're now just stains in the dirt and it's going to get worse.
There are hundreds of sleeping Titans in the cavern.
Hyperion plans to awaken them all.
Forgive us, Xena.
Is there something we can do to help ? We're running out of materials.
I could go down to the village and get some ropes and planks.
- I'll go with you.
- Good.
Let's all try and get some sleep.
We'll finish this when they return.
Xena, Phyleus has something to tell you.
He figured this out while we were working.
- He's so brilliant ! - I couln't have done it without you.
- Don't be silly, I didn't help that much.
- No, you supplied the inspiration ! All right ! Let's hear it.
There's another chant.
If said correctly, it might turn them back into stone.
The chant is on a scroll underneath the altar in the cavern.
It needs to be read by someone with a proper understanding of Dorian rhythms.
In other words, me.
- Forget it, too risky.
- I won't be captured.
I'll wait till their asleep, and then I'll sneak in.
Forget it, Gabrielle ! She has no respect for me.
Hey, come on, let's find somewhere to get some rest.
Come on.
You ready ? - Is it time ? - Yeah.
What's the matter ? Nothing, I just Thought I did something without thinking ? - If you did, it's none of my business.
- Yeah, that's right, it isn't ! Look, if this is about what I said before, I was tired.
- You think I'm just a kid.
- No I don't.
I just don't have time to convince you right now.
We've got work to do.
Hello, Gabrielle.
I'm very pleased, Theia.
Don't be frightened, Gabrielle.
We're not gonna hurt you.
- Right, Hyperion ? - Right, right, right.
Here it is.
Read it ! What is it ? Just read it.
- I don't know this kind of language.
- You knew that language before.
Now, read it ! She's gone ! She must be trying to prove herself to me.
- It's ready.
- Good.
If the Titans caught her, we could be facing thousands by now.
On the bright side, if anyone can stall, it's Gabrielle.
Cronus was furious as Zeus was trying to usurp his power.
So he called all the Titans together in a great war council.
Atlas was appointed the field general, because he was the greatest warrior of all.
Hyperion would have made a much better choice.
Oh, of course.
Doesn't she tell it well ? Yeah.
Now, read the chant ! Don't you want to hear how Zeus got the thunderbolt ? - Yes.
- No.
I was just about to get to Prometheus.
I know all about Prometheus ! - Just read it ! - OK, OK ! Here we are.
Read it again, this time, slower.
Now get it into place.
Read it again, this time put the emphasis on the first syllable.
Read it ! Maybe you've got the wrong chant.
It's the right chant ! If said correctly by a virgin, it should release the other Titans ! Well, there's your problem.
I'm not a virgin anymore.
You little harlot.
What are you going to do ? I'm gonna send her to Hades.
No, Hyperion, you said you wouldn't hurt her.
She's useless to us now.
Hyperion, please.
You ! Now ! No ! Please don't kill him ! Here it's the chant that will turn us back to stone.
It has to be read by the same virgin who released us - It won't work now.
- Yes, it will ! I deliberately mis-read that other chant.
Gabrielle, this is the chant ! - There's a piece missing ! - There's a piece missing ! These things are never easy.
Yes.
Watch your friend die with all your hopes.
Read ! And Xena gave me the scroll just in time She saved the day as usual.
She couldn't have done it without you.
You're right.
- You were almost my first.
- And you were almost mine.
Are you ready ? Will be, as soon as you answer one question.
What's that ? Why did you risk your life by going into that cavern alone ? I wanted to make up for what I did, so that you wouldn't hate me.
For your information, I could never hate you.
Your heart's always in the right place.
Even when I tried to rule the world with the Titans ? Everybody makes mistakes.
Well, what about when I got myself kidnapped so I could stop a war.
Hey, that took a lot of guts on your part.
What about when I, I got your horse's reins tangled ? Look the point is, we're friends.
And, we shouldn't let things like that come between us.
Come on.
Gabrielle ? Yeah ? Don't you ever touch my horse again.
Right.