Young Hercules (1998) s01e03 Episode Script

What a Crockery

If you were any good at being bad, you'd dare what no god has dared before.
Destroy a mortal son of Zeus.
You mean Hercules.
My uncle's the reason why I'm here.
He used to tell me about this place.
In a cave up on the mountain, they got a chalice there made by Zeus himself.
Wedding present for Hera.
But they say he wants it back, now that they don't see much of each other.
Looks like water.
I think we should get outta here.
Why did you send me to the Phoenix Cave to get the chalice? I'm sorry about getting you guys into all this mess.
What mess? So, what are you gonna do with Hera's chalice? I'm taking it to my dad.
What? Mother, I thought you knew.
I really had no idea you cared so much about the chalice.
I want the perpetrator! Dead? No can do.
It was Hercules, and you know how Zeus feels about little bro.
Daddy's put his protection on him preventing us gods from killing him.
Hercules? What? Am I missing something here? Zeus made a promise to me when he made us that chalice.
Anyone who takes it from its rightful place is condemned to death.
Then by Zeus' own words, his protection of Hercules is off.
Well, well, well.
Finally, little brother is on his own, and he is all mine.
Thank you, Mother.
Thank you for the chance to destroy Hercules.
In an age of light and darkness, Zeus, king of the gods, ruled the universe.
He had a son young Hercules.
Half-god, half-man, young Hercules longs to find his place in the world, the father he's never known, and what it means to be a hero.
Before the man became legend, before the legend became myth, came the greatest adventure of all.
Strife? Ahh! If you are gonna make it to Olympian status, you're gonna have to stop letting half-gods kick you around.
Chill, Unc, I was just getting warmed up.
I saw what you were warming up.
Yeah, is she phat, or what? Fat? What, are you kidding me? No, Uncle, not fat, phat.
She's a real Persephone, you know? Fly, dope, def.
Groovy? Anyway, I was just Did I give you any indication that I care about your life? - No.
- Then don't share it, please.
Question! Where is my mother's chalice? Hercules has it? And what is Hercules doing with it? Accessorizing his personal space? He's taking it to Zeus' temple! That's not good.
We need to get some pain and suffering and misery out of that chalice.
Ooh! Twist my arm, Unc.
It cannot reach the safety of Zeus' temple, or be put back in Hera's cave.
Tell me, Strife, have you ever seen Hera angry? I mean, when laying waste to an entire city wouldn't begin to satisfy her fury? Yeah, only in my dreams, Unc.
She starts to glow as if there was a cold fire burning inside her.
- Yeah? - The winds rise.
The Earth trembles.
Animals run in fear.
Ooh, yeah? And no force in existence, not even almighty Zeus, dare cross her path! Ohh, yes, yes! Well, Strife, there is a truly sublime level of suffering waiting for whoever has the chalice when my mother finds it.
Well, I have some nasty ideas, Unc.
Strife? Yes, Uncle? Try to be subtle.
So, what are you gonna say to Zeus when you meet him? Yeah, thrown any good thunderbolts lately? Nice robe.
Who's your tailor? I don't know, I mean, what do you talk to dads about? Ask him how his day was? See if you can borrow the reins to the chariot.
Why he's never been there for you.
Hey, Hercules, why don't you tell him how tough your buddies are, huh? Yeah, like when we nailed Strife at Kora's.
Uh, Herc, nailed Strife at Kora's.
That is a minor technicality.
If I'd had a shot at him, he would have gone down.
Ooh! Hey, guys you know what I'm thinking? Melonball! - Yeah! - No, no, no, no.
We gotta get the chalice to the temple, right? Oh, what, you can't handle us? Aw, I thought you were mighty Hercules, conqueror of the gods-gods-gods-gods! Okay.
All right.
I guess if we get the chalice to Zeus' temple this week, I have time to, uh, teach you two a lesson.
- Come on, Hercules.
- Come on, you big mouth.
Go inside! Go inside! Go inside! I said inside! He went to a lot of trouble to prove you can't play, huh? I told you to go inside.
I thought you mean the other inside.
Well, maybe next time you won't mess with the, uh, mighty Hercules, huh? Hmm, it's a good melon.
Strife.
What do you want, huh? Another whipping? Oh, no.
I couldn't fight you, Hercules.
You're way too strong.
How about the, uh, little blond one? Hey, who's little? Whoa, lolaus.
He's after something again.
No, no, no, no, more like I already got it.
The chalice.
Ha ha! Now you see it, now you don't.
What did you do with it? Ooh, like I'm just gonna tell you! Ha ha ha ha ha! That's all right.
We'll find it ourselves.
Better move fast.
Hera knows it's missing and, uh, I wouldn't wanna be around when she goes looking for it.
Where? In a good home, nice family.
I promise you, Strife, you put one innocent person in danger You know, I wouldn't have thought of Alcmene as being all that innocent.
Mother? "Mother?" Subtle enough for ya, Unc? Whoa! My arm! Are you all right? I think so.
Get back, Bear.
Stay.
Here let me help you.
No, no, I'll be fine.
My horse threw me and ran off.
Bear is not usually so calm around strangers.
You must have a way with dogs.
Oh, I do.
I do.
You saved my life, and all I have to give you is this chalice.
It's not much, but I insist.
I'm sorry.
I couldn't take your gift.
It's too nice.
Oh, please? You don't know how happy it would make me for you to have it.
But we hardly know each other.
The kindness you've shown a stranger tells me all I need to know about your heart.
Oh, um, I'll have to think about it.
Mother! Hercules, what are you doing here? There's big danger! Big danger! We ooh, lemonade! Thanks.
Strife must have lied again.
Who lied what's going on? Well, we, I took something from Hera to give to Zeus.
And I know that I shouldn't have.
You took something of Hera's? Yes.
But, see, Strife took it from me, and he said that he left it here with you.
Was if ruby red? - Glittery? - Yes.
Looking for this? Ares.
Ares? Ares? He's shorter than I thought.
Isn't he, though? It's been a while, hasn't it, baby brother? How dare you come into my house pretending to Mother! Ah, ah! Get me too excited, I might well, who knows what I might do? What do you want? If you're here for the chalice, just take it and leave us alone! What I want is to see you suffer.
When you grabbed Hera's chalice, you lost Daddy's protection, and now, I can destroy you.
And I want your mother to watch.
Stay away from my son! Mother! Well, Hercules.
Your mother has spunk.
I hate spunk.
Listen, get the chalice back to the cave.
We're gone! You know, I don't really care about the chalice.
That's really Hera's thing.
Ah! Mother, come on, in the house! You can't hide from me, little brother! Oh, cool.
Lemonade.
Let me.
Mama's first! Young gods always in such a rush.
There's an art to torturing mortals.
Let Hercules think he's safe.
It'll make the end so much sweeter.
Ah, the terror of the hunted.
Ares isn't after me, he's after you.
Get yourself to safety.
I'm not leaving you here alone.
If the gods had wanted to hurt me, they would have done it long ago.
But if what Ares says is true, your father can no longer protect you from them.
My father, my father! You know, I'm really sick of my father and his protection.
You're the one who knows him.
Why isn't he protecting you? Knock, knock, anybody home? I messed up big this time.
Listen, Mom, I'm sorry.
Going after the chalice to impress Zeus was exactly what you told me not to do.
It doesn't matter, son.
But you need to run.
You can't defeat the god of war.
Run, mother, where am I gonna run? Hercules.
Mother, I love you.
But I will not run anymore.
We put back the chalice And Zeus's protection order kicks back in for Hercules.
It's dead, right? The Phoenix.
It's not coming back.
What do you think, it's gonna rise up out of the ashes and come back to life? Hey, maybe there's some treasure in there we missed before.
We're here to return this thing, lolaus, not exchange it.
- I know.
- And maybe save Hercules' life.
All right, Ares.
Let's end this right now! Ooh! See, Strife, it's just like I told you.
It's so much more satisfying when the victim begs for it.
Everything was just fine till you came along! Word! Yeah! Give it to him, Uncle Ares! Ooh, lemonade.
Wow, that was easy.
Yeah, too easy.
What is it with you, Jason? Why can't anything just be easy? That's why.
Whoa.
Uh I was the favorite! Ooh.
Number one.
Me.
Ares.
Son of Zeus.
God of war.
God of war! Well, must be so rough for you.
Hey, hey, traveling, ref, traveling! Supplanted by a half-mortal.
I could have destroyed you long ago, if not for Zeus' special protection! Huh, huh? Huh, huh? You protect the chalice.
Protect the chalice? What about me? How's it going, boys? Good, good.
Afraid I can't let you have that.
Whoa.
Uh, Jas? Jas! Here, here.
Go, go, go, go, go, go! Inside, lolaus! Ares couldn't do this sooner 'cause Zeus swore he'd smash any god who put the hurt on you! But you blew that when you stole the chalice.
You're mine, now.
I mean, he's yours now, Uncle Ares.
Nothing can save you now.
Ha ha ha! Whoa! Nooo! No! Why protect him again, Father? I was so close! What about me? I have needs! This isn't over, brother.
I'll be back.
Yeah? I'm counting on it.
Jason and lolaus must have gotten the chalice back to the cave in time.
Be thankful for such good friends.
I am.
Mom? Yeah? You got any of that lemonade left? You think Cheiron would have accepted my excuse about the god of war vaporizing my homework.
For Cheiron, there are no excuses.
Yeah, but two weeks of kitchen duty? That's kind of extreme.
Uh, listen, guys.
Um, I just wanna say that I really appreciate what you guys did for me, you know? And, uh, well, if you ever need me for anything you know what I'm trying to say.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Whatever.
Hey, listen, when you're done feeding your face? Move that to the left.
The other left.
Oh.
Oh! - Oh, you didn't.
- I'm sorry, man.
Oh! Oh-oh-oh you! Come on!
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