Young Sheldon (2017) s02e13 Episode Script
A Nuclear Reactor And a Boy Called Lovey
1 Previously on Young Sheldon Veronica.
I-I'm here for your mom's Bible study.
I'm glad you could join us.
What are you doing? Come here for Bible study.
If you want to be a good Christian, maybe you should stop lying through your teeth.
Hey, Mom, just a heads-up: I'm gettin' baptized tomorrow.
We did it! I'm so happy! I love you.
[CONGREGATION GASPS.]
- Oh! - [GEORGE JR.
GRUNTS IN PAIN.]
ADULT SHELDON: There are certain phrases that are used by dads around the world.
[JAPANESE POP SONG PLAYING.]
Well, it's all right Close the fridge.
You're wastin' money.
I'm having trouble deciding between puddg and Jell-O.
Well, decide what you want, and then open it.
But I need the visual input.
Does the pudding have a skin? Plus, it's good fun jiggling the Jell-O.
Do you have any idea what our electric bill is? Yes.
I do our taxes.
And it's higher than it should be.
And why do you think that is? Well, I don't want to point any fingers, but Missy sleeps with a night-light.
Make a choice and close the door.
Okay.
There's only one logical way to settle this.
Eenie-meenie Close the door! Nobody else is stronger than I am Yesterday I moved a mountain I bet I could be your hero I am a mighty little man [SCHOOL BELL RINGING.]
Hey.
[SIGHS.]
What do you want? I just wanted to apologize again.
My behavior was crazy.
I blame hormones.
Really? 'Cause I blame you.
Is there any way you can forgive me? Please.
Fine.
I forgive you.
You're not just saying it 'cause you're trying to be a good Christian and you're afraid of going to Hell? Do you want me to forgive you or not? Very much.
Then stop talking and let's move on.
So so we're friends again? Sure.
Just as friends, would you wanna hang out on Saturday night? In a no-kissing and no-punching-in- the-face kind of way? I can't.
My boyfriend's taking me to dinner.
[ECHOING, DISTORTING.]
: Boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend You know, I got to run.
I'm glad we're friends again.
- Your brother looks upset.
- Really? I would have guessed hungry.
See you later.
Mr.
Givens, a moment of your time? [SIGHS HEAVILY.]
I'm curious about more cost-effective methods of generating electricity.
And? And I came to you.
Go.
Well, there's fossil fuels, like oil and coal.
- Too dirty.
- Oh.
Hydro? - Too wet.
- Solar? With this fair skin? Next.
Wind? You know what the problem with wind is.
It's too reliant on wind.
I think I'm looking for something a little more indoors.
How about nuclear power? It's clean and efficient and very safe, until something goes horribly wrong.
That could work.
Oh.
Goody.
Are we done? Almost.
I have one last question about nuclear reactors.
What? How do I build one? Go.
ADULT SHELDON: Spoiler alert: he didn't know.
Hello? Hello, my little vicuña.
[MEEMAW CHUCKLES.]
Well, hello to you, too.
And more importantly, what is a vicuña? Only what I feel is the cutest camelid on the planet.
Well, I suppose I could ask you what a camelid is, but you're just gonna say more words that I don't know.
What's up? There's an upcoming event at the university, and I'd like you to be my plus-one.
Oh.
Well, I'd love to go.
- Wonderful! It's a date.
Bye.
- Wait, wait.
Hang on there, partner.
I need a little more information.
When is this event? This Friday night.
Oh.
What time? I'm not sure.
Well, will there be food? I have no idea.
What's the dress code? Not a clue.
Well, what do you know? You're my plus-one.
Well, you go do a little more research and get back to me.
You got it! Bye.
- Wait.
- What? Love you! Love you, too.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hello.
Is this the studio that makes the Professor Proton show? Excellent.
May I speak to him, please? Well, then I'd like to leave him a message.
My name is Sheldon Cooper, and I'm trying to build a nuclear reactor, and I could use his help.
My number is 409-356-6049.
Thank you.
I'm gonna hang up now, because this is long-distance, and my father doesn't make much money.
Good-bye.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Georgie, question: In the hallway earlier today, were you upset or hungry? Shut up.
That's hungry.
STURGIS: Connie, I believe I have answers to all your questions.
Lay it on me.
Time: the event begins at 6:00 p.
m.
The dress code is: business attire.
Dinner will be served, but it's been suggested that we eat first, because the food is dreadful.
Good to know.
And last but not least, a camelid is any member of the camelidae family, such as llamas, alpacas or vicuñas.
You didn't ask that one, but, uh, it seemed like something you should know.
John is everybody at this party gonna be a scientist like you? Not everybody.
You'll be there.
That's kind of what I'm gettin' at.
Is there a problem? Well yeah.
I didn't go to college.
I was a total screwup in high school.
I might not fit in at all.
Don't be silly.
Everyone's gonna love you! And I'm excited to show you off.
The general consensus among the faculty is you don't exist.
How I feel about that.
Oh, don't worry it says more about me than it does about you.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- [DOORBELL RINGS.]
I'll get it.
It's like dating the Encyclopedia Britannica.
Oh, hello, Sheldon.
Good evening.
Do you have any idea where I could obtain radioactive material? That's an interesting question.
What do you need it for? I'm trying to build a small nuclear reactor to provide electricity for my house.
And possibly the whole neighborhood, if they're nice to me.
- Fun.
- The problem is, I don't know where to get the necessary radioactive material.
Oh.
Do you happen to have any unexploded atomic bombs? Not a one.
Shoot.
What about an X-ray machine? Nope.
That makes sense.
You're just a kid.
Oh! I know! Smoke detectors contain trace amounts of americium-241.
Interesting.
But I'd need a lot of them, and they're expensive.
True.
Hey, I bet if you call a few companies and say it's for a school project, you could get them for free.
That's a great idea.
Thanks.
You're very welcome.
What a cute kid.
Who was that at the door? - Sheldon.
- What did he want? Oh, nothing.
He just had a science query.
Ooh, biscuits! Where's Georgie? I don't know.
I called him ten minutes ago.
He's probably curled up in a ball, crying about Veronica.
Why do you say that? It's just what I'm hearing.
From who? I'm kinda plugged into this town.
I'll go check on him.
Where exactly you getting all this info? There's a lot of kid sisters out there.
We talk.
Honey? Can I come in? GEORGE JR.
: No.
Aw, baby, everything all right? I don't want to talk about it.
You might feel better if you do.
Is it about a girl? How do you know? Sometimes a mother can sense these things.
Veronica has a boyfriend.
You mean Dustin? You know him? Well, yeah, she met him through the church.
Lovely young man.
You like him? Oh.
Well, um the Lord teaches us to like everybody.
I just can't stop thinking about her with another guy, and it's making me crazy.
Aw.
Why don't you come eat something? You'll feel better.
I can't.
I feel like I got punched in the stomach.
Trust me, this'll pass.
You will meet other girls.
They won't be Veronica.
Is he taller than me? It doesn't matter.
It's what's inside a person that counts.
How much taller? A lot.
Mrs.
Sparks' credit card got declined at Payless.
No kidding.
She went nuts.
But you didn't hear it from me.
Mm.
Poor baby is just crushed.
Oh, man.
I've been through that.
Brutal.
When did I break your heart? Oh, it wasn't you.
Then who was it? Oh, doesn't matter.
It was a long time ago.
But who? Dad, I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I think I solved our electricity problem.
Not now, Sheldon.
I wouldn't mind hearing it.
Who? If you want, I'll ask around.
ADULT SHELDON: For many children, their happiest memory is the day they learned to ride a bike.
For others, it's when they got their first puppy.
For me, it was the day I received a box of 57 defective smoke detectors loaded with americium-241.
Yes! [LAUGHING.]
GEORGE JR.
: My dearest Veronica No.
My beloved Veronica Better.
It's got "love" in it.
Every minute I'm away from you is an eternity.
But it feels longer than that.
I can't eat, I can't sleep, it's like there's a hole in my heart that only your love can fill.
So true.
And yes, I know about Dustin, but he can't love you the way I do.
Because my love is the kind of love that is true love.
The kind that lovers feel when they're in love.
Beautiful.
So in conclusion, I hope, no, I pray, I hope and pray that you'll give me the chance to be the boyfriend you deserve.
And when the time is right, I'm able to shower you with diamonds, houses, boats, and cars, the husband of your dreams.
Loving you with my heart, my soul, and my lips, Georgie Cooper.
Just tell me her name.
It's not important.
It was a long time ago.
Then how come I don't know about it? Because I married you, and no one else matters.
If that's so, why'd this mystery woman break your heart? [SIGHS, CHUCKLES.]
: Come on, Mare.
We were young.
We were kids.
Leave it alone.
Just tell me her name, and I'll drop it forever.
You swear? You know I don't swear.
You promise? Absolutely.
- Kathryn Dempsey.
- Kathryn Dempsey?! You watched me make cupcakes for her daughter's birthday, and you never told me you were in love with her?! I was 15 years old, and she didn't love me back.
If she did, would you have married her instead of me? But she didn't! Okay! Now I have my answer.
Kathryn Dempsey?! I was 15! [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING.]
Hey, Sheldon.
Hello, Billy.
What you doing? Building a nuclear reactor.
Cool.
I'm having Lucky Charms for dinner.
What are you gonna do with it when you're done? Stand in front of the refrigerator as long as I want.
Cool.
Why are you eating cereal for dinner? I was hungry, and my parents are in their bedroom kissing.
Two, three, four ["BORN TO BE MY BABY" BY BON JOVI PLAYING.]
[BON JOVI VOCALIZING.]
You were born to be my baby And, baby, I was made to be your man We got something to believe in Even if we don't know where we stand - Only God would know - Hey, pal.
The reasons, but What's this, a love note? - Give that back! - [CHUCKLES.]
: Oh, I don't think so.
"To my beloved Veronica, "Every minute I'm away from you is an eternity.
- But it feels longer than that.
- [STUDENTS CHUCKLING.]
I can't eat, I can't sleep, it feels like there's a hole in my heart that only you can fill" [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Champagne? Oh, I'm fine, thank you.
These are for me.
Are-are you all right? No, I'm very nervous.
That's interesting.
Normally, I'm the one who's unsure of himself in a social situation, but tonight, it's you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
Frickin' fascinating.
Dr.
Sturgis, good to see you.
Dr.
Linkletter.
Please meet my girlfriend, Connie Tucker.
Nice to meet you, Dr.
Tucker.
I'm not a doctor.
But I would like to point out, she's quite real.
I can see that.
And our relationship is more - than just friends.
- That's enough.
In fact, it's flat-out erotic.
Change the subject, John.
You got it, girlfriend.
Dr.
Linkletter is working on an intriguing theory of quantum gravity.
- Is that so? - He can explain it much better than I can.
Are you familiar at all with string theory? Remind me.
Well, basically, it's a string theoretic interpretation of the graviton.
Every force is an exchange of particles.
Gravity is the exchange of gravitons.
Meemaw, are you even listening? MEEMAW: What? The graviton is a massless string.
The graviton is a massless string.
Wow! Well, yes, it is.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- When did you learn that? I get around.
In fact, I would go so far as to say that every force is an exchange of particles, and gravity is an exchange of gravitons.
Correct! Yes! [LAUGHS.]
John, where have you been hiding her? I haven't.
I've talked about her quite a bit, but you all said she was a figment of my imagination.
[CHUCKLES.]
She's dynamite.
[LINKLETTER AND STURGIS LAUGH.]
Hello.
I'd like to speak to Arthur Jeffries.
He plays Professor Proton.
But you probably know that, since you answer the phone at the station that makes the show, you lucky duck.
Then I'd like to leave him another message.
Please tell him Sheldon Cooper called again and that I've successfully obtained the radioactive material that I'm looking for.
Yes, americium-241.
I have lots of it.
I live at 5501 Grant Avenue, Medford, Texas.
If you're sending me an autographed picture, I already have one.
Ooh, how about one of his bow ties? And then Bryan Larkin read the letter - out loud in the hall.
- No.
Georgie used the word "love," like, 30 times.
It was pathetic.
That hurts to hear.
Really? I think it's hilarious.
Also, my math teacher's pregnant.
Well, that's nice.
[QUIETLY.]
: It might not be her husband's.
Whose do you think it is? Hey.
Hey.
Going somewhere? Alaska.
Gonna work on the pipeline.
Alaska, huh? That-That's pretty far.
Not far enough, but it'll have to do.
Look, Georgie, I know it feels bad right now, but I promise it'll get better.
How's it gonna get better? Veronica thinks I'm a jerk, and everyone in the school's calling me Lovey Cooper.
Ooh, that is not a good name.
It doesn't matter, 'cause I'm never going back to that school.
Listen to me.
Hey.
You're a good-looking kid, and you got a big heart.
Once we get you on a daily shower schedule, the girls are gonna be lining up.
I don't want girls.
I want Veronica.
Yeah, maybe you'll get her and maybe you won't.
But someday, you'll find the woman who was really meant for you.
You mean like Kathryn Dempsey? Alaska's beautiful.
How 'bout I go with you? Who's Kathryn Dempsey? I was 15 years I was 15 years old! [MEEMAW AND STURGIS LAUGH.]
Connie, tell me, did you grow up in Texas? Took my first bath in a ten-gallon hat.
[LAUGHS.]
[LAUGHS.]
That's wonderful.
My goodness, you're as funny as you are beautiful.
[STAMMERS.]
That's a nice thing to say to your friend's girlfriend.
STURGIS: Actually, I don't think it is so nice.
If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were sweet-talking my date right in front of me.
You're a pretty smart man, John.
Trust your gut.
Oh, look! Shrimp cocktail.
Let's get some.
- Now, hang on.
- Hey.
Take your hand off her, or there are gonna be some severe consequences.
Whoa, John, calm down.
What do you see in this guy? All right, that's it! - [GRUNTS.]
- [GASPS.]
Oh, boy, you shouldn't have done that.
- [SHOUTS.]
Oh! - [GASPING.]
That's enough! Both of you, just cool your jets.
This isn't over, Dr.
Linkletter! Anytime, anyplace, Dr.
Sturgis.
And your graviton research is mediocre at best! [GUESTS GASPING.]
Keep moving.
Are you angry with me? More turned on.
Ooh.
Great.
Let's go.
Good morning, Mary.
Hmm.
[SIGHS, GRUNTS.]
What's that about? I'm punishing him.
- What for? - Nothing, really.
But once I got started, I couldn't stop.
[LAUGHS.]
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
GEORGE SR.
: I'll get it! [FILTERED BREATHING.]
The hell? Sheldon Cooper live here? [GEIGER COUNTERS CLICKING.]
Mare! [GARAGE DOOR CLACKING.]
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER.]
Am I in trouble?
I-I'm here for your mom's Bible study.
I'm glad you could join us.
What are you doing? Come here for Bible study.
If you want to be a good Christian, maybe you should stop lying through your teeth.
Hey, Mom, just a heads-up: I'm gettin' baptized tomorrow.
We did it! I'm so happy! I love you.
[CONGREGATION GASPS.]
- Oh! - [GEORGE JR.
GRUNTS IN PAIN.]
ADULT SHELDON: There are certain phrases that are used by dads around the world.
[JAPANESE POP SONG PLAYING.]
Well, it's all right Close the fridge.
You're wastin' money.
I'm having trouble deciding between puddg and Jell-O.
Well, decide what you want, and then open it.
But I need the visual input.
Does the pudding have a skin? Plus, it's good fun jiggling the Jell-O.
Do you have any idea what our electric bill is? Yes.
I do our taxes.
And it's higher than it should be.
And why do you think that is? Well, I don't want to point any fingers, but Missy sleeps with a night-light.
Make a choice and close the door.
Okay.
There's only one logical way to settle this.
Eenie-meenie Close the door! Nobody else is stronger than I am Yesterday I moved a mountain I bet I could be your hero I am a mighty little man [SCHOOL BELL RINGING.]
Hey.
[SIGHS.]
What do you want? I just wanted to apologize again.
My behavior was crazy.
I blame hormones.
Really? 'Cause I blame you.
Is there any way you can forgive me? Please.
Fine.
I forgive you.
You're not just saying it 'cause you're trying to be a good Christian and you're afraid of going to Hell? Do you want me to forgive you or not? Very much.
Then stop talking and let's move on.
So so we're friends again? Sure.
Just as friends, would you wanna hang out on Saturday night? In a no-kissing and no-punching-in- the-face kind of way? I can't.
My boyfriend's taking me to dinner.
[ECHOING, DISTORTING.]
: Boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend You know, I got to run.
I'm glad we're friends again.
- Your brother looks upset.
- Really? I would have guessed hungry.
See you later.
Mr.
Givens, a moment of your time? [SIGHS HEAVILY.]
I'm curious about more cost-effective methods of generating electricity.
And? And I came to you.
Go.
Well, there's fossil fuels, like oil and coal.
- Too dirty.
- Oh.
Hydro? - Too wet.
- Solar? With this fair skin? Next.
Wind? You know what the problem with wind is.
It's too reliant on wind.
I think I'm looking for something a little more indoors.
How about nuclear power? It's clean and efficient and very safe, until something goes horribly wrong.
That could work.
Oh.
Goody.
Are we done? Almost.
I have one last question about nuclear reactors.
What? How do I build one? Go.
ADULT SHELDON: Spoiler alert: he didn't know.
Hello? Hello, my little vicuña.
[MEEMAW CHUCKLES.]
Well, hello to you, too.
And more importantly, what is a vicuña? Only what I feel is the cutest camelid on the planet.
Well, I suppose I could ask you what a camelid is, but you're just gonna say more words that I don't know.
What's up? There's an upcoming event at the university, and I'd like you to be my plus-one.
Oh.
Well, I'd love to go.
- Wonderful! It's a date.
Bye.
- Wait, wait.
Hang on there, partner.
I need a little more information.
When is this event? This Friday night.
Oh.
What time? I'm not sure.
Well, will there be food? I have no idea.
What's the dress code? Not a clue.
Well, what do you know? You're my plus-one.
Well, you go do a little more research and get back to me.
You got it! Bye.
- Wait.
- What? Love you! Love you, too.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hello.
Is this the studio that makes the Professor Proton show? Excellent.
May I speak to him, please? Well, then I'd like to leave him a message.
My name is Sheldon Cooper, and I'm trying to build a nuclear reactor, and I could use his help.
My number is 409-356-6049.
Thank you.
I'm gonna hang up now, because this is long-distance, and my father doesn't make much money.
Good-bye.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Georgie, question: In the hallway earlier today, were you upset or hungry? Shut up.
That's hungry.
STURGIS: Connie, I believe I have answers to all your questions.
Lay it on me.
Time: the event begins at 6:00 p.
m.
The dress code is: business attire.
Dinner will be served, but it's been suggested that we eat first, because the food is dreadful.
Good to know.
And last but not least, a camelid is any member of the camelidae family, such as llamas, alpacas or vicuñas.
You didn't ask that one, but, uh, it seemed like something you should know.
John is everybody at this party gonna be a scientist like you? Not everybody.
You'll be there.
That's kind of what I'm gettin' at.
Is there a problem? Well yeah.
I didn't go to college.
I was a total screwup in high school.
I might not fit in at all.
Don't be silly.
Everyone's gonna love you! And I'm excited to show you off.
The general consensus among the faculty is you don't exist.
How I feel about that.
Oh, don't worry it says more about me than it does about you.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- [DOORBELL RINGS.]
I'll get it.
It's like dating the Encyclopedia Britannica.
Oh, hello, Sheldon.
Good evening.
Do you have any idea where I could obtain radioactive material? That's an interesting question.
What do you need it for? I'm trying to build a small nuclear reactor to provide electricity for my house.
And possibly the whole neighborhood, if they're nice to me.
- Fun.
- The problem is, I don't know where to get the necessary radioactive material.
Oh.
Do you happen to have any unexploded atomic bombs? Not a one.
Shoot.
What about an X-ray machine? Nope.
That makes sense.
You're just a kid.
Oh! I know! Smoke detectors contain trace amounts of americium-241.
Interesting.
But I'd need a lot of them, and they're expensive.
True.
Hey, I bet if you call a few companies and say it's for a school project, you could get them for free.
That's a great idea.
Thanks.
You're very welcome.
What a cute kid.
Who was that at the door? - Sheldon.
- What did he want? Oh, nothing.
He just had a science query.
Ooh, biscuits! Where's Georgie? I don't know.
I called him ten minutes ago.
He's probably curled up in a ball, crying about Veronica.
Why do you say that? It's just what I'm hearing.
From who? I'm kinda plugged into this town.
I'll go check on him.
Where exactly you getting all this info? There's a lot of kid sisters out there.
We talk.
Honey? Can I come in? GEORGE JR.
: No.
Aw, baby, everything all right? I don't want to talk about it.
You might feel better if you do.
Is it about a girl? How do you know? Sometimes a mother can sense these things.
Veronica has a boyfriend.
You mean Dustin? You know him? Well, yeah, she met him through the church.
Lovely young man.
You like him? Oh.
Well, um the Lord teaches us to like everybody.
I just can't stop thinking about her with another guy, and it's making me crazy.
Aw.
Why don't you come eat something? You'll feel better.
I can't.
I feel like I got punched in the stomach.
Trust me, this'll pass.
You will meet other girls.
They won't be Veronica.
Is he taller than me? It doesn't matter.
It's what's inside a person that counts.
How much taller? A lot.
Mrs.
Sparks' credit card got declined at Payless.
No kidding.
She went nuts.
But you didn't hear it from me.
Mm.
Poor baby is just crushed.
Oh, man.
I've been through that.
Brutal.
When did I break your heart? Oh, it wasn't you.
Then who was it? Oh, doesn't matter.
It was a long time ago.
But who? Dad, I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I think I solved our electricity problem.
Not now, Sheldon.
I wouldn't mind hearing it.
Who? If you want, I'll ask around.
ADULT SHELDON: For many children, their happiest memory is the day they learned to ride a bike.
For others, it's when they got their first puppy.
For me, it was the day I received a box of 57 defective smoke detectors loaded with americium-241.
Yes! [LAUGHING.]
GEORGE JR.
: My dearest Veronica No.
My beloved Veronica Better.
It's got "love" in it.
Every minute I'm away from you is an eternity.
But it feels longer than that.
I can't eat, I can't sleep, it's like there's a hole in my heart that only your love can fill.
So true.
And yes, I know about Dustin, but he can't love you the way I do.
Because my love is the kind of love that is true love.
The kind that lovers feel when they're in love.
Beautiful.
So in conclusion, I hope, no, I pray, I hope and pray that you'll give me the chance to be the boyfriend you deserve.
And when the time is right, I'm able to shower you with diamonds, houses, boats, and cars, the husband of your dreams.
Loving you with my heart, my soul, and my lips, Georgie Cooper.
Just tell me her name.
It's not important.
It was a long time ago.
Then how come I don't know about it? Because I married you, and no one else matters.
If that's so, why'd this mystery woman break your heart? [SIGHS, CHUCKLES.]
: Come on, Mare.
We were young.
We were kids.
Leave it alone.
Just tell me her name, and I'll drop it forever.
You swear? You know I don't swear.
You promise? Absolutely.
- Kathryn Dempsey.
- Kathryn Dempsey?! You watched me make cupcakes for her daughter's birthday, and you never told me you were in love with her?! I was 15 years old, and she didn't love me back.
If she did, would you have married her instead of me? But she didn't! Okay! Now I have my answer.
Kathryn Dempsey?! I was 15! [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING.]
Hey, Sheldon.
Hello, Billy.
What you doing? Building a nuclear reactor.
Cool.
I'm having Lucky Charms for dinner.
What are you gonna do with it when you're done? Stand in front of the refrigerator as long as I want.
Cool.
Why are you eating cereal for dinner? I was hungry, and my parents are in their bedroom kissing.
Two, three, four ["BORN TO BE MY BABY" BY BON JOVI PLAYING.]
[BON JOVI VOCALIZING.]
You were born to be my baby And, baby, I was made to be your man We got something to believe in Even if we don't know where we stand - Only God would know - Hey, pal.
The reasons, but What's this, a love note? - Give that back! - [CHUCKLES.]
: Oh, I don't think so.
"To my beloved Veronica, "Every minute I'm away from you is an eternity.
- But it feels longer than that.
- [STUDENTS CHUCKLING.]
I can't eat, I can't sleep, it feels like there's a hole in my heart that only you can fill" [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Champagne? Oh, I'm fine, thank you.
These are for me.
Are-are you all right? No, I'm very nervous.
That's interesting.
Normally, I'm the one who's unsure of himself in a social situation, but tonight, it's you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
Frickin' fascinating.
Dr.
Sturgis, good to see you.
Dr.
Linkletter.
Please meet my girlfriend, Connie Tucker.
Nice to meet you, Dr.
Tucker.
I'm not a doctor.
But I would like to point out, she's quite real.
I can see that.
And our relationship is more - than just friends.
- That's enough.
In fact, it's flat-out erotic.
Change the subject, John.
You got it, girlfriend.
Dr.
Linkletter is working on an intriguing theory of quantum gravity.
- Is that so? - He can explain it much better than I can.
Are you familiar at all with string theory? Remind me.
Well, basically, it's a string theoretic interpretation of the graviton.
Every force is an exchange of particles.
Gravity is the exchange of gravitons.
Meemaw, are you even listening? MEEMAW: What? The graviton is a massless string.
The graviton is a massless string.
Wow! Well, yes, it is.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- When did you learn that? I get around.
In fact, I would go so far as to say that every force is an exchange of particles, and gravity is an exchange of gravitons.
Correct! Yes! [LAUGHS.]
John, where have you been hiding her? I haven't.
I've talked about her quite a bit, but you all said she was a figment of my imagination.
[CHUCKLES.]
She's dynamite.
[LINKLETTER AND STURGIS LAUGH.]
Hello.
I'd like to speak to Arthur Jeffries.
He plays Professor Proton.
But you probably know that, since you answer the phone at the station that makes the show, you lucky duck.
Then I'd like to leave him another message.
Please tell him Sheldon Cooper called again and that I've successfully obtained the radioactive material that I'm looking for.
Yes, americium-241.
I have lots of it.
I live at 5501 Grant Avenue, Medford, Texas.
If you're sending me an autographed picture, I already have one.
Ooh, how about one of his bow ties? And then Bryan Larkin read the letter - out loud in the hall.
- No.
Georgie used the word "love," like, 30 times.
It was pathetic.
That hurts to hear.
Really? I think it's hilarious.
Also, my math teacher's pregnant.
Well, that's nice.
[QUIETLY.]
: It might not be her husband's.
Whose do you think it is? Hey.
Hey.
Going somewhere? Alaska.
Gonna work on the pipeline.
Alaska, huh? That-That's pretty far.
Not far enough, but it'll have to do.
Look, Georgie, I know it feels bad right now, but I promise it'll get better.
How's it gonna get better? Veronica thinks I'm a jerk, and everyone in the school's calling me Lovey Cooper.
Ooh, that is not a good name.
It doesn't matter, 'cause I'm never going back to that school.
Listen to me.
Hey.
You're a good-looking kid, and you got a big heart.
Once we get you on a daily shower schedule, the girls are gonna be lining up.
I don't want girls.
I want Veronica.
Yeah, maybe you'll get her and maybe you won't.
But someday, you'll find the woman who was really meant for you.
You mean like Kathryn Dempsey? Alaska's beautiful.
How 'bout I go with you? Who's Kathryn Dempsey? I was 15 years I was 15 years old! [MEEMAW AND STURGIS LAUGH.]
Connie, tell me, did you grow up in Texas? Took my first bath in a ten-gallon hat.
[LAUGHS.]
[LAUGHS.]
That's wonderful.
My goodness, you're as funny as you are beautiful.
[STAMMERS.]
That's a nice thing to say to your friend's girlfriend.
STURGIS: Actually, I don't think it is so nice.
If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were sweet-talking my date right in front of me.
You're a pretty smart man, John.
Trust your gut.
Oh, look! Shrimp cocktail.
Let's get some.
- Now, hang on.
- Hey.
Take your hand off her, or there are gonna be some severe consequences.
Whoa, John, calm down.
What do you see in this guy? All right, that's it! - [GRUNTS.]
- [GASPS.]
Oh, boy, you shouldn't have done that.
- [SHOUTS.]
Oh! - [GASPING.]
That's enough! Both of you, just cool your jets.
This isn't over, Dr.
Linkletter! Anytime, anyplace, Dr.
Sturgis.
And your graviton research is mediocre at best! [GUESTS GASPING.]
Keep moving.
Are you angry with me? More turned on.
Ooh.
Great.
Let's go.
Good morning, Mary.
Hmm.
[SIGHS, GRUNTS.]
What's that about? I'm punishing him.
- What for? - Nothing, really.
But once I got started, I couldn't stop.
[LAUGHS.]
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
GEORGE SR.
: I'll get it! [FILTERED BREATHING.]
The hell? Sheldon Cooper live here? [GEIGER COUNTERS CLICKING.]
Mare! [GARAGE DOOR CLACKING.]
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER.]
Am I in trouble?