Younger (2015) s07e12 Episode Script


Previously on "Younger"
I think Charles is gonna
propose to Quinn.
- I love him, Maggie.
It's not right to stand in his way.
I don't think he's offering you enough.
Everyone likes a push-up contest.
Two Agh!
- Dad?
- I think he's having a heart attack.
I had the greatest doctor.
He saved my life.
Lauren, Denise, hey.
Good to see you guys again.
- I couldn't get on that plane.
- What? Why?
Because I was with the wrong person.
I know that our path has been rocky
and that it's taken me a
while to get here, but
You don't have to explain anything.
I just know what makes me happy.
And to pretend anything else
would be just lying to myself.
I think I've told enough
lies for the both of us.
Only the truth from now on.
Even if it hurts.
Only the truth.
I should do the walk of shame
back to my apartment
before the girls wake up.
I'm sure things are already
confusing enough.
I know.
Okay. Bye.
I I was just dropping
something off for your dad.
I'm so glad you're here.
Me too, sweetheart.
Me too.
Someone didn't come home last night.
I know. Uh
It's a long story.
I was about to call the
police at 2:00 a.m.
I mean, what happened?
Charles and Quinn take off to paradise,
and you spend the night in
some dive bar somewhere?
Um not exactly.
Charles didn't get on the plane.
Maggie, he told me that he loved me.
It's Cass.
- Oh, hold that thought.
- Okay.
Good morning, Cass.
Listen, Maggie, now that
your career is blowing up,
thanks in no small part to yours truly,
I'd like my sculpture back.
Well, that's fair. It's here.
You can come pick it up anytime.
I don't have time to schlep to Brooklyn.
Can you send it to me?
And please sign it, 'cause now,
it may actually be worth something.
Yeah, no, I'm not sending the sculpture.
Fine. Just bring it to dinner then.
Wait, did I miss an invitation?
For what?
Yeah, sure. I'll have dinner with you.
We'll figure everything out then.
My treat. I'll send you the deets.
- Is everything okay?
- Yeah.
Cass. She wants to take me to dinner.
Like I owe her something.
She wants to take you to dinner?
Yeah, we have a complicated
history, Liza.
I mean, I don't think I need to explain
that kind of thing to you.
All right, touché.
Anyway, I'm just glad
that you're home safe.
And as far as the rest
of the story goes,
may I just say, I don't
understand straight people.
Y'all are crazier than the gays.
- Hey.
- Hey.
So I got some interesting feedback
from some VCs this
morning about INKubator.
VCs? When did that happen?
- Well
- Hi. Okay.
Dad is out of the hospital
and doing great.
Just a little myocardial
infarction, but he'll be fine.
Thank you so much for your
thoughts and prayers.
- Thank God.
- Oh, my God. I'm so glad he's okay.
I know, I know, I know.
But the big headline here
is that the doctor who
saved his life was Max.
Max Max?
Like, the guy you dumped
for being basic?
Mm-hmm, and who I'm now
having erotic dreams about.
Isn't this, like, too much of a
coincidence to be a coincidence?
I feel like the universe is shaking me
and being like, "Wake up, girl!
"Just pay attention!
"The man saved your father's life
"and he made you spooge in your sleep.
Like, what more of a sign do you
need?" You know what I mean?
Sometimes life gives
you a second chance.
God, Liza, you are so wise.
How did I not see that before?
So our investors from Chicago
are a mercurial bunch.
A few months ago, they decided
not to commemorate
the hundredth anniversary of Empirical.
We're putting commemorative stickers
- on all of our fall releases.
- Uh-huh.
And now they want to have a party.
- Next week.
- What?
- Next week?
- That's impossible.
Yeah, it's just an excuse to
have an all-expense paid trip
to New York on the company's dime,
so even a small dinner is fine.
Let's not knock ourselves out.
Wow. Okay.
I'm not so hung up on birthdays anyway.
Isn't he supposed to be
in Mustique with Quinn?
He missed the plane.
To be at the party.
Do you see? That's what I'm saying.
That's how the universe works.
There are no accidents.
And this will not be a small party.
Let's see
We have your dream writer, Azealia King,
waiting in the conference room
to discuss her new book with us.
I'll be right there.
Azealia, I have been in this
business for a long time,
and rarely have I encountered a voice
as timely and as relevant as yours.
Thank you, but it's only been one book.
Three essays, four short stories,
and that free verse you did
for Oprah's Vision Tour,
presented by Weight Watchers.
And I loved what I heard at
INKubator the other night.
Oh, no. Oh, God.
I thought that was
just a workshop thing.
I didn't know the suits were there.
Charles may be wearing a suit,
but he isn't a "suit."
He is a deeply creative
and artistic soul.
That's what makes us different here.
Let's cut to the chase.
Azealia doesn't like the big
publishing company model.
She likes how you're breaking it.
Tearing down the old
patriarchal structure,
- blah, blah, blah.
- Yeah, I love this deal
where you drop a new chapter every week.
I love it too. And it's
as old as Dickens.
He used to serialize his novels
in the London newspapers.
I'm not sure the Victorian era
is the best reference for
what we're doing here.
Whatever. I just cannot go back
to that old-school publishing model.
Then let us offer you an alternative
that we have been developing.
A paid app where the
chapters drop weekly.
Or whatever time frame suits you.
With audio narration as an option.
It is an e-book and a podcast
wrapped up together,
and we would launch the app with you.
There's a huge incentive to being first.
Like "House of Cards," Netflix.
Yeah, let's keep "House
of Cards" out of this.
- It didn't end so well.
- Uh, "Orange is the New Black."
Ooh, that's what got me streaming.
- Right?
- Well, we'd like to see this app
before we commit to anything.
It's almost finished.
Maybe we could demo
something by next week?
Sooner is better.
Azealias don't stay in bloom forever.
Honey, that shit is starting
to get tiresome.
Sorry. I gotta be me.
Kelsey, could you give
Azealia a quickie tour?
I just need a moment with these two.
Oh, it would be my pleasure.
And Liza, I will see you
for lunch afterwards.
- Thanks.
- All right, see you in a sec.
So I have a proposition.
We are prepared to do
what it takes here.
Oh, no, not her. She's as good as yours.
Yeah, the app thing's
really got her fired up.
It's like you reinvented the wheel.
- Thank you.
- I said reinvented.
Charles is right.
Dickens did it first over
a hundred years ago.
And podcasts are really just radio.
Exactly. So good on you!
Anyway, since we're talking
"everything old is new again,"
I have an investment
opportunity for you.
My boyfriend of 11 months,
the incomparably
talented Austin Pinkner,
has written a new musical.
There's a backers audition tonight.
Now, the theater world
is hermetically sealed.
They don't welcome outsiders.
But I have convinced Austin
to reserve you a tranche.
How much are they looking for?
I'll let you know. Don't get greedy.
Plus, it's always good
to be in on the joke.
- What's the joke?
- Come see it. We'll talk after.
Curtain's at 8:00.
Did I just agree to invest in a musical?
Damn, he's good.
- What's the big news?
- Hey.
So Rob sent the INKubator proposal
to some of his VC friends
just to get a valuation.
And this thing is worth way more
than what Charles is thinking.
How much more?
I don't know, but there
could be a bidding war.
This is our moment.
We are gonna leave Empirical
and start INKubator.
And Azealia's gonna come with us.
I already talked to her
after the meeting.
Wait, shouldn't we at least give Charles
the chance to match any offer?
Use the leverage to keep it in-house?
Liza, you know how frustrated
I've been at Empirical.
We both have. And I can't
imagine how it's been for you,
working beside your ex
and seeing him with someone else.
That's the thing.
Charles and I are
finding our way back to each other.
- When did this happen?
- It just did.
And I know.
I know it seems crazy.
But I'm in love with him.
And I love this company.
It has given me everything, Kels.
I can't leave.
But I understand that you have to.
This app is all you.
You have risked so much
to make it happen.
You deserve to fly.
So what does this mean for us?
We're gonna be competitors?
I don't wanna lose you like I lost Zane.
Kelsey, when we met,
you said you had my back.
And I never forgot it.
So believe me when I tell you
I will always have yours.
This is business, so don't make me cry.
I know Charles is going
to be disappointed,
but he'll understand.
Just do me one favor, okay?
- Of course.
- Don't break the news to him
until after the Empirical
anniversary party.
No problem.
I want him to enjoy it.
And I wanna celebrate it too.
My God.
Look how far we've come.
Did you ever think you'd
be investing in Broadway?
I'm not sure this is investing.
It's more like creative extortion.
Hello, friends
and deep-pocketed business associates.
First, I wanna begin by
introducing you to the genius
behind what you are about to love,
the incomparably
talented Austin Pinkner.
Come on out here, handsome.
Thank you all for being here ♪
I can't wait for you to see ♪
Everything you see tonight
was written all by me ♪
Hey ♪
That was good. All right.
You're not in the chorus anymore.
And now, without further ado,
I bring you "Scamalot"!
Blood tests.
Hedge funds.
Soul sister.
Blood tests.
Hedge funds.
Soul sister ♪
- Blood tests.
- Bahamas.
- Hedge funds.
- Soul sister.
- Blood tests.
- Bahamas.
- Hedge funds.
- Soul sister.
We are the scammers ♪
We're famous scammers ♪
We earned your trust,
but it's all a lie ♪
We got discovered ♪
Our cons were shuttered ♪
It's not our fault that
you got shanghaied ♪
I'm Elizabeth Holmes,
and I promised folks ♪
That I could study their blood ♪
But it was all a big hoax ♪
I'm Billy McFarland,
and I lied and conspired ♪
To take all your cash
for my festival, Fyre ♪
Oh, yeah, baby!
I'm Bernie the banker ♪
My net worth was amazing ♪
'Cause I stole from my clients ♪
And made off with their savings ♪
My girls call me Rachel ♪
It's a lot to unpack ♪
But I'm white as hell ♪
But told the world I was Black ♪
Stole tons of money ♪
Betrayed their trust ♪
Now here's a girl
who's as awful as us ♪
- Though she didn't steal ♪
- Really? ♪
And she sure ain't no killer ♪
- Okay ♪
- She's one shady bitch ♪
It's Lizalot Miller ♪
I had a kid ♪
That's when I left the workforce ♪
18 years later ♪
Plus one divorce ♪
I needed a job, whoa ♪
- But they said ♪
- You're too old! ♪
Which led to the lie
I so famously told ♪
My secret's out now, and
though it created a fuss ♪
Ya gotta give it up for
this girl from Paramus ♪
Who would've thought ♪
That just 'cause of my Cesarian ♪
I'd end up a lyin', cheatin',
schemin' quadragenarian ♪
We are the scammers ♪
We're famous scammers ♪
We're thieves and frauds ♪
Give us what you've got ♪
We got discovered ♪
Our cons were shuttered ♪
It's not our fault
that we scam a lot ♪
Big finish!
It's not our fault ♪
That we scam ♪
A lot ♪
Well, at least the woman
portraying you was talented.
Yeah. And that's some company I'm in.
Elizabeth Holmes and Bernie Madoff.
As a condition of my investment,
I told Redmond that he would
have to cut you from that number.
What did he say?
"For a price, anything is possible."
You see?
What'd I tell you? It's extortion.
I'm not worth it.
You are.
I'm gonna sleep at my place tonight.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
I love you.
I love you too.
- Here.
- Oh.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Seriously? You wanna
have dinner in Harlem?
What'd you do, pick a restaurant
a block from your house?
No, it's not about who's paying.
No wait I just
whatever is good for you, okay?
I told you, I am not bringing
Kamila's tits to dinner.
Fine. I'll see you tonight.
- Cass?
- Who else?
I mean, first she tries
to kill my career,
and now she's annoying me to death.
So I just got some crazy news.
I-I did something behind Charles's back
that hopefully he'll be happy about.
Oh, God, what'd you do
to that poor man now?
I submitted his unfinished book,
"The Miseducation of Henry Cane,"
to Yaddo.
- And, Maggie, he got in.
- Yadda yadda what?
Yaddo, the prestigious writers' colony.
Everyone from John
Cheever to Philip Roth,
Jonathan Franzen, Flannery O'Connor,
they've all spent time there.
The list, it goes on and on, and
Wow. Well, obviously,
we have different definitions
of the word "crazy."
No, I don't have any food allergies.
Is this dinner or an inquisition?
Good morning.
Good morning.
I, um
I have something to confess,
and I hope you won't be mad.
Liza, as long as you are being honest,
I can never be mad.
A few months ago,
I secretly submitted your book,
blind, without your name, to Yaddo.
And they accepted you.
That is surprising news.
They recognized your talent.
I really hope you do this for yourself.
Take the time to finish your book,
even if it means we're
apart for a few months.
Excuse me. Kelsey.
Have you had a chance to review
my proposal for INKubator?
I would love to make the
announcement together
at the party.
Um, Charles, it's the
hundredth anniversary.
I don't wanna steal Empirical's thunder.
Not at all.
You're making us more relevant.
Hey, you told me not to say anything,
and I didn't, but I cannot have
Charles make that announcement.
- I know. I'll take care of it.
- I really need you to.
I will. I promise.
This entire company started
when my grandfather
won the foreign rights
to a Fitzgerald short story
in a poker game.
Who could've imagined?
He was a disrupter.
Like you and Kelsey, with INKubator.
Before we go in, there's something
that I need to tell you.
Something else?
Kelsey sent the INKubator proposal
to a bunch of VCs for valuation.
Was this before or
after she gave it to me?
I don't know.
But the bottom line is,
Kelsey wants to take
INKubator out on her own.
I see.
I asked her not to tell you yet
because I didn't want anything
to spoil your evening, but
Kelsey's going to leave Empirical.
And you?
I'm not going anywhere.
And I'm not leaving you.
Liza, I knew that Kelsey
sent the proposal
to outside investors.
You knew? Why didn't you say anything?
I wanted to hear it from you first.
Wait, so you were testing me?
In a way, I was.
But you passed.
Come on.
Oh, my God, I am so proud of us.
This feels like my Hot
Mitzvah all over again.
Can you believe it's been
a hundred years?
Yeah, and you've barely been
working here a hundred minutes.
Hey, say hello to my hot date.
- Denise! Hi.
- Sweetheart, I am so impressed.
I mean, all I wanna do
is read, read, read.
Okay, okay, calm down, Mommy.
You know, I really wanted to invite Max,
but he doesn't know
we're back together yet
even though astrally, he gave me,
like, the most amazing head.
- Oh.
- Honey, get out of your head.
- Call the man.
- Okay, I know.
I'm just I wanna find the most
romantic spot for our reunion.
Ooh, why don't you
"Sleepless in Seattle" him?
Invite him to meet you on the
top of the Empire State Building.
No, I mean my generation's
romantic spot, but
Because it is serendipitous
that you two bumped into each other.
Plus the frozen hot chocolate.
Yes! Mom!
You're a genius. Oh.
Oh, my God. It's Max.
He, um he wants to meet me now.
- Hospital cafeteria.
- Okay.
But-but-but what about
what about the party?
Lauren, go.
Come on. Love can't wait.
Go, sweetheart.
- Go!
- Okay, okay, okay.
Oh, my God.
But make sure the DJ keeps
the energy up, okay?
So let's go have a shot?
Oh, yeah.
Juniper berries.
- Yeah.
- It's made of juniper
- juniper berries.
- I like that idea.
Plant-based. You know what?
Seriously seriously, though,
I really admire your ability
to keep creating art.
Oh, please. I mean, I have no choice.
It's the only thing I know how to do.
I wanted to be an artist.
But I didn't have the guts.
So I got into teaching instead.
Well, it's never too late.
I mean, you just have to be fearless.
Oh, yeah, I think it is too late.
You are like everything
I've always wanted to be.
A true artist.
Thanks, Cass.
And that's probably why
when I heard Kamila was hitting on you,
it was just too much for
my fragile little ego.
- I'm so sorry.
- Just stop.
You know what? You are too good for her.
Leaving her may be
the best thing that ever happened to me
because I realized I was defining myself
by a hot woman and a
prestigious-sounding job.
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
- I got it.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Split.
- We'll split it.
- Oh, please.
Here. Here, here.
40 bucks? Really?
I mean
This barely covers the cocktails
before the wine came.
Then give me the goddamn check.
- I said I was taking you.
- Okay.
It's the least I can do after
almost ruining your career.
And then reviving it.
Oh, my.
I will Venmo you.
Stop with that Venmo shit.
I mean, like, I hate that.
How do you get the
money out of the phone?
Oh, I don't know what it is.
I have no idea.
I think it's a streaming service.
- Hey, babe.
- Hi.
Sorry I'm late.
This is a great party.
It's kind of like my farewell bash.
It's all done. Charles knows.
Now we just have to
figure out who to go with.
These guys.
They're basically tripling what Charles
offered you on a first round,
plus they've got a sick track record.
Think you've heard of Uber?
I love their valuation.
Uh, what's the 20% participation
to the Triboro Building Corporation?
Isn't that isn't that you?
Yeah, that's my piece for
putting the deal together.
You're not an investment bank.
- You just sent the email.
- Exactly.
My connections have value.
Are you serious here?
Babe, if you don't wanna
do it, don't do it.
Stay with Empirical.
No one's forcing your hand.
But I'm not gonna get
screwed here either.
Well, what do you think
you're doing to me?
Geez, I thought you'd be thrilled.
You know that if I was
offering this deal to a guy,
- there wouldn't even be a question.
- What are you saying?
Just that I feel like you want special
privileges for being a woman.
- No offense.
- Oh, none taken.
But you can take your percentage
and shave it up your misogynistic ass.
- Excuse me.
- Oh.
What exactly did you say to Charles?
The truth, like you asked me to.
I don't think those outside investors
are going to amount to anything.
And also, I have the absolute
worst taste in men.
Yeah, I know.
Hey, look, Charles isn't mad.
Just go up and give a speech
about how much you love Empirical.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
That's what I'm gonna do.
Excuse me. Is this on?
Excuse me. Uh
Oh, hi.
Kelsey Peters here.
I just wanna express my gratitude
for being part of such an amazing story
and publishing history.
Books, literature, stories have
always been a passion of mine.
I grew up reading the great
authors published by Empirical.
Never once in my dreams did I think
that I would be lucky enough
to actually work here
and help a generation
of new writers find an audience.
the day I met you was the
luckiest day of my life.
You took a chance on a young girl
with little more than enthusiasm
and an English degree from
a second-rate college.
To this day, I don't know
why you chose me.
I can't imagine a more brilliant mentor.
You inspire me every day
with your determination and passion
and genuine love for what you do.
And if I've learned one thing from you,
it's that in order to succeed,
you must take a risk.
And that's why I'm ready
to take one of my own.
You're my family.
You always will be.
But it's time for me to
write my next chapter.
And just know that no matter
what my future holds,
I owe it all to you.
I'm happy for her.
I I guess she really
did get her funding.
Yeah, I guess she did.
Thanks for dinner.
I had a really nice time.
I had a great time too.
So nice to make a new friend.
It's not easy at this age.
- Yeah. Well, this is me.
- Oh.
- Good night.
- Good night.
I really like you, you know that?
I really like you too.
And you still owe me a pair of tits.
You know where to find 'em, hot stuff.
And don't forget, be fearless.
Is everything okay?
What was that for?
I was just taking your advice.
Being fearless.
English breakfast tea.
Two Splendas, right?
Oh, my God, you remember.
Of course.
I remember everything
about our time together.
Max, I have not been able
to stop thinking about you
since you saved my father's life.
Oh, it's nothing a first-year
resident couldn't have done.
Yes, but you did it,
and I I don't know.
I just feel like it's the universe's
way of bringing us together.
Lauren, there hasn't been a day
I haven't thought about you.
And at first, it was because I was hurt.
- But
- Yeah.
Then I thought about how
authentically you lived your life,
and whenever I had an issue, I thought,
What would Lauren do?
Oh, my God, Max! I'm gonna cry.
And I thought Lauren would
trust her real, honest feelings
and would never question anything
that stretched the capacity
of the human heart.
No. Never.
That's why I'm so happy
we found each other again.
- Oh, my God, me too.
- I have been dying
to introduce you to my fiancé.
Hi, Lauren. I have heard
so much about you.
- Hey.
- Hey.
You know, but I never imagined petite.
I always thought you'd be a
little more you know
- Zaftig?
- Yeah.
Well, I am Shelley
Winters on the inside.
I told you. I told you she's funny.
So how did you two
Oh, well, I had my eyes on this one
- for years.
- Aww.
So I wanna thank you
for encouraging this fabulous man
to be exactly who he is.
I'm kvelling.
I mean, gay men are really the
only guys I can get behind.
And actually
I would be more than happy
to get behind both of you.
Are you open?
She's so funny.
- She's not kidding.
- Yeah, no, I'm not kidding.
Come on, guys.
Nice night.
Yeah, it really was.
You're gonna have your
hands full without Kelsey.
I know.
It's gonna be weird having
her as a competitor.
Oh, I think your friendship
can handle it.
I'm just glad you told me.
Yeah, me too.
- Good night.
- Good night.
If I hadn't gotten into Yaddo,
would you have let me know?
I don't know.
Maybe not.
Yeah, why bother?
Since I didn't even know you applied.
Would've just been your little secret.
We're not gonna make it, are we?
I don't think so.
So now I have this amazing company
and no investor.
Can't believe I didn't realize
Rob was such a manipulative tool.
Oh, I could've told you that.
But unfortunately, that's the opinion
you've always had of me, so
Clare, I am so sorry.
I hope that you can forgive me.
I do.
I'm just
I'm sorry you had to
find out the hard way.
Forgive me for getting so upset?
Oh, my God, you had every right to be.
And I'm only staying here a short time.
- I promise.
- Well, when you get tired
of listening to Gemma
cry all night here,
you can always come and
listen to her at my place.
I've got a fold-out couch
that's pretty comfy.
Thank you.
Oh, of course.
After all, we tunnel sisters
have to stick together.
- Right.
- Bye, Gemma.
- Bye.
- Come get her tomorrow, Daddy.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
Let's go.
- Bye.
- Bye.
She's pretty great.
You know, her pull-out
might be more comfortable
than sleeping in bed with Lauren.
Yeah, about that.
I kinda think you and Lauren
should just have this
place for yourselves.
Where are you gonna go?
Um Landlord here's going
through a pretty nasty divorce
and needed to sell quickly,
so I put in an offer.
- Like, on the whole building?
- Uh-huh.
It's four apartments plus Inkburg, so
That's amazing. Josh!
And amazingly expensive.
A whole entire building in Williamsburg?
Yeah, well, I mean, I'm
doing pretty well, so
- Oh.
- Plus it's, like, an insane deal.
I couldn't say no.
I could always just pull the offer
and invest in you and your company.
I'm serious. Come on.
Hey, I really believe in you, Kels.
That means so much to me.
But I can't let you do that.
I'm gonna figure it out, I promise.
Okay, I gotta go downstairs and open up,
but if you need anything,
holler, neighbor.
Okay, landlord.
No way.
No way.
Where did that come from?
Belonged to my grandfather.
- It's beautiful.
- Hmm.
Did he win that in a poker game too?
Uh. No.
But he did give it to me
when I went to college.
I actually banged out the first
half of "Henry Cane" on this thing.
Something about striking
the keys inspires me.
It's like playing an instrument.
I love it.
It's very old-school.
Well, that's me.
Old-school kinda guy.
Um, Liza, sit down.
We need to talk about the
working arrangement here.
I think that as Empirical
goes into this next chapter,
I'm gonna have to make some changes.
I was thinking the same thing.
I figured you'd want me
to tender my resignation.
Well, um
you know I would give
you the best references.
I appreciate that.
But we're not gonna do that dance again.
Kelsey is gone,
and I need someone to run this place
while I am at Yaddo.
And maybe longer,
depending on how things go.
I've spent enough years looking
over other writers' shoulders.
You don't think it's too late to
start a second career, do you?
Thank you.
No, Liza.
Thank you.
- No.
- Yes. I was sandwiched between them.
- Girl, work.
- So you Stop!
So you don't have just
one guy, you have two.
- Yes.
- So are you in a throuple?
Liza, throuple, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
That is so your generation.
Listen, I am free and I am
happily non-heteronormative.
Well, honey, stay that way
because when love finally
bites you in the ass,
there ain't nothing you can do about it.
Wait a minute, did I just
hear you say you're in love?
I don't know. I don't know.
But you know what they
say about love and hate.
It's two sides of the same coin.
And, you know, I guess that means
there's gotta be something there.
Ahh! To Maggie in love!
Yes! To Maggie in love.
Oh, I'm gonna be miserable
for the rest of my life.
Ugh. Hi, guys. Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry I'm late.
I just heard the news.
I couldn't be happier.
Yes, say hello to the new
editor in chief of Empirical.
- Whoo-hoo!
- Thank you.
Thank you. Whose first order
of business is hiring you back.
Okay, well, I actually have
some news of my own.
I found a backer for my company.
- Oh, my God.
- Fantastic.
Yes, they heard about it and just
contacted me out of the blue.
- Who?
- It's someone we've worked with for years.
Who loves and supports
women and female voices,
and they've been right under
our nose this entire time.
I can't believe I didn't think to ask!
- Who? Kelsey!
- Come on! Give it up!
Hello Sunshine.
- What?!
- Reese Witherspoon's company.
They love me, and they
love my business plan.
They wanna take a huge
equity stake in INKubator.
- Kelsey, this is incredible! I knew
- This is awesome!
There's one catch.
You have to play "Legally
Blonde" on a loop?
The company is not gonna
be based in New York.
So I'm moving to Los Angeles.
Okay. I'm shook.
Uh. But I am so proud of you, baby.
Yes. I'm coming to visit.
Get a pool.
And I am going to get us
another round of drinks.
- Please.
- Kelsey, this is so amazing.
- All right.
- Ahh, it's fabulous!
How did this happen?
Hi. Excuse me? Sir?
Hello? Hello!
- I need some help over here.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey.
You don't wave a shoe.
- Oh.
- You never wave a shoe.
You know, in Thailand, that's
considered a capital offense.
And you've been to Thailand?
Ah, no. But I have been to Myanmar.
Which used to be Burma.
- Back in the day.
- I knew that.
Sorry. I didn't see you there.
Because you know what?
I've been right here, by your side,
all along.
So are these real, or
- Yeah.
- Can you wash 'em off?
I mean, this arm is actually all fake.
None of these are real.
- None of those are real?
- This is all real.
Oh, so you could technically
wash all those off.
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