Zebrarummet (2021) s01e01 Episode Script

1
14 isn't a handicap, it's a
disease.
I think I have it.
-Anyway, I was fucking hungover.
-Yeah.
Then, a damn tourist
is standing there looking at me.
-No way!
-Yes.
What,
can they walk around as they please?
Hell no! I guess he'd sneaked off.
Went and ate an ice cream.
-Why do you give tours?
-Why are you talking?
How about hitting it?
Watch!
The sign by the main office.
I'm looking. Nothing.
Should I keep looking?
You're a little fucking slut,
do you know that?
-Oh? Are you done?
-Yes.
-I can give you private lessons.
-I hate you.
Dad started doing them this summer.
Something about hunting parties
that can come and stay over.
-They're paying.
-They walk into your bedroom.
Yes, it's so tiring.
We have to buy more.
Are we already out?
No, but tomorrow it'll be gone.
Wipe your upper lip,
you filthy bastard.
Hey Look, look, look.
Do this.
A CLASS APAR
-You have people at the bar.
-On my way.
Un momentito.
This isn't cleaning the dishes.
It's because that dishwasher
is for glasses.
-Where is the one for cutlery?
-What?
-Where's the one for cutlery?
-For cutlery?
It doesn't exist.
-Am I meant to wash them up by hand?
-Yes.
Hi.
Tell him I'll take as much next time.
Come on!
Isaac, darling, we're here now.
Isaac, come on!
Hi.
Hi, sweetie! Do you want a ride?
What's up buddy?
No? Fuck you too, then. Bye.
Kiss, kiss.
Sara, I want
-What are you doing?
-Nobody can see.
-Are you going on a date?
-I wish!
-You need to meet somebody.
-When?
Between Holmered and Kvarnen?
I'm telling you, you work too much.
Can't you work here?
Leave that damn school.
Your life would be so much better.
You're so sweet, and I love you,
but I have a job.
I know you have a job,
and they don't pay you enough.
-Thanks for the loan.
-That's not what I meant, Sara.
-Table six!
-Table four still hasn't had
-What the hell? I swear
-What?
-Wow! That's sick.
-Yeah, it's quality.
She's so fucking hot.
I was just going to say that.
Am I the only one with a blue hat?
That's so neat.
Yeah, I know. So fucking nice.
You're always ready for
-Princess!
-Welcome back.
Are you bringing us gifts?
Prussian Mensur?
-Again?
-Yes, indeed.
-Will this do?
-Pétrus. Wonderful.
This will be perfect.
All that lefty PC talk of eco wine.
Pétrus has always made wine
without chemicals.
-Won't Carl know we're taking it?
-Yes.
Only vegans who know nothing about
history talk about eco wines.
It's just an excuse
not learn anything about wine.
And they think
they won't get hungover.
They're like: "My wine is cloudy, so
I won't get a hangover."
-Just like, suck cock.
-I couldn't find a lung.
But I got a hold of this.
-You're joking!
-That's gross!
-Bloody hell!
-Is it pig?
-Yeah.
-Not anymore.
Give it to me!
I'll give you ten grand
if you lick it.
-Ten grand?
-Hundred grand if you eat half of it.
Fuck no! There's no fucking way.
-Part of me wants to lick it.
-That's why I'm offering.
-Do you want to see something better?
-What the hell is it?
Suet.
Alex got us in at Nikki Beach
tonight. It's 28 degrees!
We're living the dream.
You have to come here!
Stop sulking now.
Sometimes, you have to contribute.
You know everybody at school, now.
Sure.
I don't want a damn beer.
Who knows? You might get elected
this year, then it'll all work out.
It's your birthday soon.
You should have a proper watch now.
-A Rolex?
-Yeah.
Hey, I want to buy a watch.
Can you help me?
I'm sorry. We're closed.
No, no. That. I want to buy
No, not that one.
-I want to buy one.
-Tomorrow.
We open tomorrow at six, okay?
Berra!
Berra, how much
for your Richard Mille?
I'm not selling it.
Come on! That's what you'd
normally say, but how much for it?
-Dad, what the hell? Stop!
-Wait, wait.
Come on.
-Give it to him, Berra.
-Shit, it's his birthday.
-Don't forget to send the money.
-No.
Thanks.
Give me, give me, give me
There.
-Seriously.
-You won't be late,
for another lesson ever again.
Kenneth! Robin! Gate 29.
Come on now!
Hi, Isaac.
We miss you at school.
You haven't forgotten
where it is, have you?
We've got 65 million dollars
in a day.
So, if you want to get in, you have
to be fast! We're moving fast.
-Money doesn't sleep.
-Dad!
Eh What?
-Pierre has opened the stairs.
-I understand.
I get thousands of offers
every day, and I chose one.
So, Paul, listen. You're fighting
before you've started.
Do you know what the world's most
precious commodity is? Information.
I'm giving you exactly what you
need to make a fortune.
We got a slot in ten minutes.
Have fun with Louisa.
-Louise.
-What?
Her name is Louise.
-Yes, Louise. Your best friend.
-Yes, that's right.
Bye, Dad.
Take care. Good luck in Brussels.
You're making me feel like
I've given birth to a blind baby.
Hey, motherfucker!
Ready for the last year at Tuna
Kvarn?
You bet! Bloody hell.
-But I'm sure it will be fine.
-Yeah.
-Nice car.
-Yeah, right?
Nice dad.
Smart daughter.
I don't really believe that.
What's this? Are we going
to take over the world with this?
-Yes, among other things.
-A bad school play.
Do you think it's the same to ride a
zebra as it is to ride a horse?
No, I don't think it's the same.
But I've shot a zebra.
-You shot a zebra?
-In Zambia, with my dad.
Three hours out of Lusaka,
I got that bastard.
That was fun.
Well, I hope you got
a little ride before.
Here comes the parade.
Give me that.
The sun is covered by cloud. Perfect.
Good start to the term. Nice.
-Good morning.
-Good morning.
Hey, Princess.
Who are they?
Right, if you looked up
"nouveau riche" in a dictionary,
those two would turn up.
At least Robin knows
that he's got no class.
Unlike his dad.
Damn, Wille is coming now.
Wasn't he meant to come yesterday?
-Maybe he didn't dare.
-He's always missing out.
Always.
Damn, that Pétrus My tongue
is feeling like a beaver tail.
Have you ever eaten that? I tried it
this summer. It's quite nice.
-Fuck, how disgusting.
-Yeah, it's not amazing.
That's what I thought.
Tuna's own hobby communist.
Fuck, look at her.
Some have to role-play
to feel relevant.
Wow, wow.
New secrets from Miss Sweden.
Her dad's bought a new Skoda.
It's starting to rain.
Do you want to borrow my belt?
-Mum, stop it! It's enough.
-God, you're touchy about that.
Mum and I have bought you a present.
-What?
-Here you are.
Really?
Thank you.
-A Michael Kors?
-Yes.
Thanks.
Give it to me.
She's there, behind the tree.
-She's more toned, I have to say.
-She only ever posts about workouts.
-Is that right?
-Yeah.
-She's probably bulimic too.
-She's hot now.
I wouldn't back off.
Like, bam, bam, bam.
Bang.
I wonder how it feels
to shoot someone.
At long range, like that.
You don't feel anything.
-What? No laughter?
-I'm laughing on the inside.
You only said what you were thinking.
You're allowed to do that in here.
Hello. Welcome.
Hi. Welcome.
-Welcome, Nathalie.
-Thanks.
Here's a small gift.
Oh, that's lovely.
Welcome.
HOLMERED SCHOOL
Hey, you need to sit in class soon.
You won't finish in time.
Are you messing with me?
What can you do?
-The rook. I have no
-No, no.
Check.
You'll have to put that away.
Fucking hell.
Wow! There's people here.
-Nasim, you want to come in first?
-No, hey
-No.
-I was here first.
Life is unfair.
But what the
How old were you
when you moved away from home?
About your age.
Why?
Start talking,
or I'll have to let him in.
They'll hate me.
Who?
I told him that we had to be careful.
Okay.
Are you pregnant?
Who is the dad?
Isaac.
Isaac?
-He doesn't know.
-Okay.
Maybe you should talk to Isaac,
and tell him.
And then you two can work out what
you want to do in peace and quiet.
-Hey! It's been five minutes now.
-No, leave.
Leave!
If I want to have an abortion
do my parents have to sign anything?
No.
They don't have to.
I'll book an appointment
with the school nurse.
No, she's never here anyway.
No, you're actually right about that.
Let's do this. I'll
I'll book an appointment
with the midwife.
-That's better.
-Yeah. Thanks.
I'll help you with that.
It will be fine.
Yes, it will work out.
No.
Come here.
It will be fine.
It's your body, and you decide.
Don't forget that.
-No.
-Okay?
I need to sort out some ping pong
rackets or whatever it was.
Yes! Come in.
It's the fifth time
they take it from me.
The ping pong racket?
-That's mental.
-The first time Why am I here?
-That's when she really
-She just kept at it.
-What's up?
-It's cool.
Are you alright?
-How was France?
-Marseille.
-Oh?
-Yes.
Okay. So your car broke down?
-We
-Maybe it was a stopover.
Yeah.
-Hi, baby.
-Hi.
-How are you?
-Good.
-Hi!
-Eh
-Hi.
-How are things?
Good, I guess.
How are you?
You look all set.
-Yeah
-Like a racing horse
that is waiting
for the gates to open.
-And the race is starting!
-Welcome.
Thank you.
Hello.
Welcome.
-Hi.
-Hello.
-I'm sitting here.
-What?
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Hi. How are you?
I'm good, thanks.
I'm sitting here.
Well, then.
Welcome back to a new academic year.
Before we start, there's one thing
I need to talk about.
We have to think about the floors.
This is an old school with history.
Please.
Use your indoors slippers.
Okay, let's open our books.
Let's go straight to chapter two.
2.1. While integers
and negative integers.
William?
-What?
-Page 28, William.
28? Okay.
Hi, girls.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Hello.
-Hi.
Sara, that's great. We need to talk.
-Is that right?
-Yes.
I was just going to ask about the
special needs teacher.
Do we get her back?
I mean Unfortunately not.
-Unfortunately?
-You know what things are like.
So the pupils don't have the right to
additional support?
They'll just sit at home.
-It's like they don't matter.
-Of course they do.
What the hell, Torbjörn?
Show that they matter then.
I'm meant to submit
a school action plan and
Remind me You're not a qualified
social worker yet, right?
-Are you serious?
-I can hire a special needs teacher.
That means that those without
qualifications may lose their job.
Shall we do that? I'm not in charge,
but shall we do that?
Should I get a special needs teacher?
Sara.
Sara!
Here you are.
Open it.
Talk to Hugo,
he'll get you a dinner jacket.
And wear that.
In the past,
they'd crucify the candidates
and hang them in the flag poles.
Naked, actually.
They'd tie them up with cables and
leave them over the weekend.
-No
-Yes.
Some even slid down and were
strangled to death by the cable.
-No, that's a myth.
-No.
Jonas Bjerkelid went to hospital
after a litre of vodka shots.
Hey. What the hell are you doing?
Fuck you.
Bye.
Hi.
Yes. Submit all
literary analyses before the weekend.
Right! I hope you've rested and
recovered properly over the summer.
No more rest now. The day after
tomorrow we start training properly.
Some of you would benefit
from a jog already today.
Yes, I'm looking at you, Carnebo.
Doesn't that sound lovely?
Get out in the fresh summer air.
Remember, this year we're going to
win against that other school.
Okay?
See you in two days.
Hello.
You're half an hour late
without apologising.
-Passive aggressive?
-You're exaggerating.
-No, I'm not.
-Okay.
I don't want to argue.
It's been a shitty day.
So you don't think my day's been
shit? I've called six vloggers
to talk about their dog's
favourite food. Do you get it?
-You just want to drink after that.
-Yes, that's dark.
-Yes.
-You won't get a journalism prize.
No, not exactly deserving of a prize.
Three years
of journalism studies for
-For what?
-This.
-Dog food.
-Yes, dog food
Okay. Darling, I feel sorry for you.
You win.
Yes, you're right
to feel sorry for me.
What's up with you?
Have you argued with Torbjörn again?
Shit.
Hey, Ernst, what are you doing?
Ernst?
I got given some plants by a dad of
one of the pupils at Tuna Kvarn.
Okay. Why?
One of those damn kids
pissed in our plants.
-What?
-Yeah.
-Have you banned him?
-What do you mean, banned?
I can't ban them.
I'd go out of business.
-That's fucked up.
-What's fucked up?
-The school is good for us.
-They piss in your plants!
The town gets more money,
we get more customers.
Do you know how much they cost?
They get more government funding
than we do.
We benefit from having them here.
For real?
Do we always have to talk about this?
It's because it's sad.
-Thanks. Let go of it.
-Good.
Okay. Fine.
And their families pay hefty fees
that cement the class society.
If the kids spend at the right bar,
they can piss in the plants.
-Whichever flowers they want.
-Can you piss elsewhere too?
-I can piss in
-That's enough. Please.
Hey, Rodde's throwing
a themed party tonight.
We're going. Let go of this crap now.
-A theme party is lame.
-It's not lame. It's so much fun.
Hello!
That was quick. Welcome.
-All of you came at the same time.
-Hi, Carl.
-How are things?
-Great. Thank you so much.
My pleasure. Nice to see you.
This is so nice.
-Hi!
-Oh! Carl!
-Wonderful.
-Good to hear.
-Good, right?
-And there he is!
-It was damn good.
-Yeah, right?
Yeah, it's fantastic.
I'm so glad you got to see it.
Her singing is amazing.
Indeed.
-And this is Tuna Kvarn?
-Yes, it its.
I went to school here too.
A lot of the top Swedish business
people went to school here,
and a few kings and queens too.
-Really?
-Yes.
-That says something about the place.
-Yes.
What influence does the nobility
have on business in Sweden?
Now? Not much at all, I think.
They mainly own forests.
The problem with the nobility is that
many of them are too posh for money.
It's hard to make money
if you're too posh for money.
-It's damn stupid.
-Yes, it is.
Yes.
Hello, everyone.
Tomorrow is a big day for us here.
Tomorrow, Tuna Kvarn
will be 125 years old.
I'm hoping
we'll all be drunk tonight,
and that all the new shares
will be bought tomorrow.
That would be great.
Let's see how it pans out. Cheers!
-Cheers!
-Welcome, everybody.
Cheers, damn it!
Nathalie.
Yes.
Fuck, that's great. Congratulations.
Thanks.
The true name of this society will
never be said outside of this room.
Those who enter it can never leave.
The commitment is for life.
Robin Nyman.
Nathalie Bergmark.
Do you wish to be a part
of our community forever?
-Yes.
-Yes.
With this promise,
you are now allowed to look.
Repeat after me.
I promise to honour
the rules of Erastes Anoteri,
to defend my brothers and sisters
with my blood,
and never reveal our true name.
I promise to honour the rules
of Erastes Anoteri,
to defend my brothers and sisters
with my blood,
and never reveal our true name.
Those who betray us
will feel the wrath of Zeus
and be damned to Hades,
where they'll burn forever
underground.
I pronounce you members
of Erastes Anoteri.
Known as the Zebra Room.
So, we're members now?
Yes.
That wasn't so hard, was it?
Welcome to the Zebra Room.
Please take a seat and drink.
It took them a long fucking while.
My God! Is it so hard to say a
sentence?
It's hard to remember.
You should have seen yourself,
you were shitting yourself.
You looked almost as scared as Sebbe
when he did it.
-Cheers! Shall we do a toast?
-Cheers.
-Cheers!
-Cheers!
-To Robin and Nathalie.
-Cheers!
To Tuna Kvarn!
-Come in.
-Hi!
Shit, you look nice!
-Welcome!
-Shit!
-How are you?
-Good. And you?
-Come in.
-Wow!
-We should have dressed smartly.
-Come on! It's fine.
-Hello, everybody!
-Hi!
-How are you doing?
-Good. How about you?
Wow! This is so cool!
-How are you?
-Good. And you?
Good. Great that you're both here.
-You finally came.
-Yes, of course.
This is really so out there.
We've run out of el agua de Caribe.
Laura!
-Where is the rum?
-I don't have it.
-You've got the booze.
-You can't have a party without rum!
We can go and buy some.
-Would you do that?
-Yes.
You're the best.
-It'll be awesome when you're back.
-Sure.
Listen up!
I'd like to propose a toast.
-Cheers, everybody!
-Cheers.
-Cheers.
-So good.
This is the deal, my friends.
We have twelve
little questions for you.
If you answer correctly,
you get a point.
If your answer is wrong,
you'll get a shot.
Okay? That doesn't sound hard,
does it?
Robin, who dissolved the borders?
-Dionysos.
-Wow!
Robin!
You were so nervous,
and you got it right straight away.
Okay. Nathalie
Who was the goddess of war?
Hera.
Drink.
-Careful. You're spilling it.
-Just drink. Drink!
All of it.
-We didn't tell you to taste it.
-Neck it!
-Drink.
-All of it, I said.
-All of it.
-Don't spill.
Come on!
-Whoops!
-Nathalie
Nathalie, you don't need to be here
if you don't want to.
It's completely voluntary. Right?
-Robin!
-Yes.
-Are you nervous?
-Maybe a little.
-Why?
-Who is Hestia?
That was
-He's hesitating.
-He's hesitating.
-The god of fire.
-Almost!
-The fireplace.
-Wrong answer.
-Drink, for fucks sake.
-Come on, you can drink more.
-Wow!
-Good boy!
There you go.
Good work.
I saw my psychologist.
She says my problems
are partly based in my repression
of my sexual orientation.
What's this?
Come on. It's a shop.
You can see that.
Please, Sara, are you listening?
-Yes, yes.
-She says I'm a lesbian.
-Who?
-My psychologist!
So you've made out
with your psychologist?
That's what I'm telling you.
-Is this your shop?
-Keep the change.
We only accept payment on the phone.
Payment on the phone.
I'm the first Dane that says it.
I've got another splash.
Damn!
She was so fucking drunk
at a fucking work party.
I'm drunk, but I sobered up
when I looked at her.
It was the first one.
No, it was the second year.
No, you weren't even there.
Are you joking? Daniel was there.
Yeah. Did you hear he'll be out soon?
He'll be out of jail any day.
-Yes.
-Hey, Rodrigo.
Don't talk about that.
This is a party.
-Come on!
-Okay.
-Cheers! What are we celebrating?
-Fidel Castro's birthday!
El commandante! Viva la revolución!
Viva!
It was at
our country house, last summer.
He was older, like 35.
Details.
I went down on him first.
Do you like it?
Okay,
but what happened then, Nathalie?
Then we had sex.
How?
-The missionary.
-Fuck, you're boring!
What did you like the most?
Nathalie, just answer.
You're five points behind.
You should answer the question.
Answer the question!
Are you going to cry now?
We need more coke, Philip.
Robin!
-Yeah.
-I'm going to give you a number.
Text him and tell him to come here.
You can get dressed.
-What do I?
-Don't you know how to use a phone?
Take the phone and write this
message: "Bring 10g."
Tell him to come here.
Excuse me, Nathalie,
what are you doing?
We aren't done with you.
Uncle Sunya.
I'm going out for a while.
Take it easy, man!
It's important to drink, you know.
-Come on, don't be cheap!
-Giovanni! Giovanni!
-Bravo!
-Bravo!
Have a seat! There's food.
Have a seat.
No, no! It's a private party!
It's a private party.
I don't know the party
Hi.
-You went for a dinner jacket.
-Take it easy.