LABF17 - The Devil Wears NadaWorkers: (singing) For he's a jolly good fellow, which nobody can deny
Lenny: except his ex-wife.
Carl: So what are you going to do without us numskulls to supervise?
Lenny: Definitely hands-off. He didn't mind if we punched in a little late or not at all.
Homer: Or that we made a few adjustments to the soda machine.
Lenny: Here's to us...the unsupervisables.
Homer: Woohoo! Our boss is our best buddy.
Lenny: The nitwits are running the goofhouse.
Homer: Hey Carl, why aren't you high-fiving?
Carl: You know, I'd rather save my arm-lifting for tapping gauges or filling out employee evaluations. We can celebrate at Moe's. After work. And the first beer's on me.
Homer: You see, he hasn't changed.
Carl: Yes, I have, in ways you're only beginning to suspect.
Homer: [laughing] Hey Carl look how I messed with the names on the softball sign-up sheet. It's delicious. You know how Smitty's name is Smitty? Well, not anymore. I changed the "M" to a...
Carl: That'll do, Homer.
Homer: ...To a "P". Spitty, 'cause he spits when he talks.
Carl: He had to have part of his tongue removed. That's real funny.
Homer: Well, I didn't know that.
Carl: Well, now you know.
Bart: Quit dragging me. When I grow up, I'm gonna drag you around and buy you clothes.
Cletus: Hey, calendar lady, you gonna take your clothes off?
Carl: Great safety report, Homer. No meltdowns all week. I'm making you my new executive assistant.
Homer: Why can't I keep the job I have now, whatever it is?
Carl: Not an option, big fella. Either you're my assistant or you find a job elsewhere. And in this economy, elsewhere ain't hiring.
Homer: Fine, I guess I'm at your beck.
Carl: And call.
Homer: Calendar? My god, I forgot to move Carl's 12:30 to 2:30. His astrologist will show up at the same time as his astronomer. This is not good, this is not good.
Homer: Marge, would you mind if we just cuddle?
Marge: Cuddling's for after.
Marge: Maybe this will take your mind off work.
[Marge opens her night gown]
Carl: Wash my car. Re-foam my latte. Book me a massage. Shiatsu or better.
Homer: Leave me alone, you two!
Edna: Class, today we're going to talk about Washington crossing the Delaware.
Nelson: I'd like to watch Bart's mom washing her underwear.
Edna: The british were led by general Howe.
Nelson: I'd give Bart's mom a general wow.
Bart: Knock it off. That's my mom you're talking about.
Nelson: Keep-away with Bart's mom.
Milhouse: Mrs. S., you can tuck me in anytime.
Bart: Okay, buddy, lower the eyebrows, Nice and easy.
Milhouse: It's stuck! I'll have a quizzical expression for the rest of my life.
Nelson: I'd like to get quizzical with Bart's mom.
Bart: Shut up!
Homer: Honey, I know it's been a rough couple of weeks, but I booked us a night this Saturday at a very romantic hotel.
Marge: Garden view?
Homer: Ocean view, obstructed.
Homer: Kiss me, baby! Kiss me like a frog in a fairy tale!
Homer: I'll make it up to you Marge, I swear.
Marge: Last night was the making it up to me! The most intimate moment we shared this week was my ironing your shirts!
Homer: Actually, those were Carl's shirts.
Ned: Well boys, daddy's back on the beam, thanks to christian prayer and doctor Sheldon Lowenstein.
Rod: We thought you were gonna die.
Todd: And then uncle Kevin would have to raise us.
Rod: With his funny friend, David.
Woman: You are clearly a man of the world. May I have your card?
Homer: My assistant will give you that.
Woman: Can we meet for lunch?
Carl: My assistant will set that up.
Woman: I want to make love, now!
Carl: My assistant will do a sensual dance for your arousal. Come on, come on sensual dance, chop, chop. [Homer starts dancing]
Marge: You two are going out? I thought I told you the Flanderses were coming over to dinner.
Lisa: Sorry, I have a tea party at Janey's.
Bart: And I'm having a stink bomb party at the house next to Janey's. No connection
Marge: Ned, you got whipped cream in your mustache. Your perfectly trimmed mustache.
Homer: My wife? And my worst friend? Could it be? Nahhh.
Homer: Hey, Ned. Marge, I believe we have a little unfinished business. Come with me!
[Homer and Marge have sex and are then laying in bed]
Marge: Boy, that was worth the wait.