LABF17 - The Devil Wears Nada

Workers: (singing) For he's a jolly good fellow, which nobody can deny

Lenny: except his ex-wife.

Carl: So what are you going to do without us numskulls to supervise?

Lenny: Definitely hands-off. He didn't mind if we punched in a little late or not at all.

Homer: Or that we made a few adjustments to the soda machine.

Lenny: Here's to us...the unsupervisables.

Homer: Woohoo! Our boss is our best buddy.

Lenny: The nitwits are running the goofhouse.

Homer: Hey Carl, why aren't you high-fiving?

Carl: You know, I'd rather save my arm-lifting for tapping gauges or filling out employee evaluations. We can celebrate at Moe's. After work. And the first beer's on me.

Homer: You see, he hasn't changed.

Carl: Yes, I have, in ways you're only beginning to suspect.

Homer: [laughing] Hey Carl look how I messed with the names on the softball sign-up sheet. It's delicious. You know how Smitty's name is Smitty? Well, not anymore. I changed the "M" to a...

Carl: That'll do, Homer.

Homer: ...To a "P". Spitty, 'cause he spits when he talks.

Carl: He had to have part of his tongue removed. That's real funny.

Homer: Well, I didn't know that.

Carl: Well, now you know.

Bart: Quit dragging me. When I grow up, I'm gonna drag you around and buy you clothes.

Cletus: Hey, calendar lady, you gonna take your clothes off?

Carl: Great safety report, Homer. No meltdowns all week. I'm making you my new executive assistant.

Homer: Why can't I keep the job I have now, whatever it is?

Carl: Not an option, big fella. Either you're my assistant or you find a job elsewhere. And in this economy, elsewhere ain't hiring.

Homer: Fine, I guess I'm at your beck.

Carl: And call.

Homer: Noooo!

Carl: Yeah.

Homer: Calendar? My god, I forgot to move Carl's 12:30 to 2:30. His astrologist will show up at the same time as his astronomer. This is not good, this is not good.

Homer: Marge, would you mind if we just cuddle?

Marge: Cuddling's for after.

Marge: Maybe this will take your mind off work.

[Marge opens her night gown]

Carl: Wash my car. Re-foam my latte. Book me a massage. Shiatsu or better.

Homer: Leave me alone, you two!

Edna: Class, today we're going to talk about Washington crossing the Delaware.

Nelson: I'd like to watch Bart's mom washing her underwear.

Edna: The british were led by general Howe.

Nelson: I'd give Bart's mom a general wow.

Bart: Knock it off. That's my mom you're talking about.

Nelson: Keep-away with Bart's mom.

Milhouse: Mrs. S., you can tuck me in anytime.

Bart: Okay, buddy, lower the eyebrows, Nice and easy.

Milhouse: It's stuck! I'll have a quizzical expression for the rest of my life.

Nelson: I'd like to get quizzical with Bart's mom.

Bart: Shut up!

Homer: Honey, I know it's been a rough couple of weeks, but I booked us a night this Saturday at a very romantic hotel.

Marge: Garden view?

Homer: Ocean view, obstructed.

Homer: Kiss me, baby! Kiss me like a frog in a fairy tale!

Homer: I'll make it up to you Marge, I swear.

Marge: Last night was the making it up to me! The most intimate moment we shared this week was my ironing your shirts!

Homer: Actually, those were Carl's shirts.

Ned: Well boys, daddy's back on the beam, thanks to christian prayer and doctor Sheldon Lowenstein.

Rod: We thought you were gonna die.

Todd: And then uncle Kevin would have to raise us.

Rod: With his funny friend, David.

Woman: You are clearly a man of the world. May I have your card?

Homer: My assistant will give you that.

Woman: Can we meet for lunch?

Carl: My assistant will set that up.

Woman: I want to make love, now!

Carl: My assistant will do a sensual dance for your arousal. Come on, come on sensual dance, chop, chop. [Homer starts dancing]

Marge: You two are going out? I thought I told you the Flanderses were coming over to dinner.

Lisa: Sorry, I have a tea party at Janey's.

Bart: And I'm having a stink bomb party at the house next to Janey's. No connection

Marge: Ned, you got whipped cream in your mustache. Your perfectly trimmed mustache.

Homer: My wife? And my worst friend? Could it be? Nahhh.

Homer: Hey, Ned. Marge, I believe we have a little unfinished business. Come with me!

[Homer and Marge have sex and are then laying in bed]

Marge: Boy, that was worth the wait.