#blackAF s01e03 Episode Script

1
O say can you see
By the dawn's early light
Well, today is a big day
at the Barris house.
We're celebrating Independence Day.
No, not that Independence Day.
"The real one," as my dad calls it.
Juneteenth.
And in honor of Juneteenth,
I think that we should play what
he calls "the real national anthem."
Say
Can you see
By the dawn's
Early light
February 7th, 1983,
is the day Marvin Gaye
turned this hymn into a jam.
And June 19th, 1865, is the
day slavery, quote-unquote,
"officially ended,"
and the day everyone in this
country was, quote-unquote,
"finally free."
O'er the ramparts we watched
Although you may not have
heard of Juneteenth,
black people, Rachel Dolezal,
Michael Rapaport,
and all the Kardashians
have every reason to celebrate it.
O'er the land of the free
Juneteenth is a uniquely
African-American holiday,
celebrated by our people far and wide.
No, I'm just kidding. Hardly
anybody celebrates that shit.
Honestly, it took me three
weeks to find this footage.
Most of it's just a generic
YouTube video I found called,
"Black People Love BBQ."
What's that there, yo?
Ooh. That's that goddamn meat, man.
The only person I know who
actually celebrates it is my dad
There could be a lot of
different independent slaves,
but how could anybody be independent
if everybody wasn't independent?
who takes it super serious.
I mean, Juneteenth is like
his Puerto Rican Day Parade.
Oh you don't even
drink strawberry soda.
Dude, I am strawberry soda.
- Yeah, that's what I thought.
- Jesus, this is sweet!
Oh, my God.
Ooh. Oh. Okay. That's great, guys.
That's great. I gotta be honest.
When I called "Brothers Moving,"
this is not what I expected,
but, you know, this is fine. Thanks.
Bearby.
Can you come here for a
second? That's when I
I'm saying your name because
Do not just look at me.
- Okay, okay, I'm coming.
- Oh, my God.
Take it in, like, look
at it for a second.
Mm-hm. That's about all I need.
You like it?
No. No, no, I don't.
What, um What's going on here?
It came.
What
What is it?
The Knowledge Bennett.
Been looking for it. It came.
When is Knowledge Bennett
going to finish it?
It's finished, Jo.
It's Sorry, it's a
- black square.
- Is that Is that all you see?
That's ridicul I feel sorry for you.
Tell me, what am I supposed to see?
Are you Are you being
serious right now?
Yes.
Jo, it's obviously a piece on blackness.
The whites flecks specks,
they represent, like, the assimil
What it is, this is a piece on
what it's like to be black
a black man in America.
And the white specks represent,
like, assimilation and gentrification.
Have you seen Baldwin
Hills lately? Inglewood?
It's a postmodern contemporary
piece on gentrification,
anti-gentrification, and gentrified
How much did you pay for this?
You know what? Fuck it. I'm going
to call our business manager.
You have been taken advantage of again.
You're like an old lady
who just got email.
- It's sad. It's really sad.
- You can't put a price on this.
- It's priceless.
- Yes. No, you can. You should.
How much is a share of Apple?
How much is a share
- That's not a good thing.
- No, that's not a good example.
You can't put a pr
- This
- Can I just have anything?
- You got took.
- Can I have something to myself?
You got took. I'm calling
our business manager.
Fuck
- Thanks. Thank you.
- What did I do?
You just Thank you.
All this about Juneteenth,
my parents' pettiness,
and my dad's complete
inability to talk about art
That's not really what this is about.
I just wanted to set the scene,
create what's called a tableau,
admissions office at NYU.
No, this is about something
way more serious.
Something that could alter the
course of a child's life forever.
Uh, Mom, have you seen Izzy?
I think she said she needed you.
What, Izzy? She said that?
She said the words "need" and
"Mom" in the same sentence?
Yeah, I don't know what she
wants, but she's upstairs.
I I think.
I mean, that's my baby.
She needs me, right? Whatever she needs.
Okay, I need you to get a tight
and I need you to get a wide.
Is there any way we could do a Zolly?
- I don't think so.
- Okay, you're probably right.
Goddamn it, I'm gonna find a way.
Okay, we'll keep this long and loose.
I want you to catch everything.
This is where you earn your money, guys.
- Got it.
- No. Take that, just go.
Okay, all right.
Big Birkin bag
Hold five, six figures
Stripes on my ass
So he call this pussy Tigger
Fuckin' on a scammin' ass
Rich ass nigga
Same group of bitches
Ain't no adding to the picture
Drop a couple racks
Watch this ass get bigger
Get in there, I want the money
shot! Don't let me down.
I'm so sorry, excuse me.
I ain't got time
For you fake ass hoes
Talkin' all loud
In them fake ass clothes
Fake ass shoes
Match that fake ass gold
I'm the realest bitch ever
To you snake ass hoes
Act up, you can get snatched up
It's Yung Miami
And I came to run my sack up
Tired ass hoes on my page
Told you it was serious.
City Girls goin' platinum
I keep a baby Glock
I ain't fightin' with
no random, period
Yo, you seen this one?
- Oh, she's back?
- Whoo.
- I thought she had a baby.
- No.
Well, I mean, she was pregnant.
I think she had one of them Dominican
click-click pow! late-terms.
Oh, wow.
This is Broadway.
I've known him my entire life.
He grew up with my dad.
Interesting guy.
You might be wondering
why my dad would keep
a guy like this around.
Truth is, it's actually
not that uncommon.
When black dudes make it, they
usually take their crew with them.
Jay-Z has Ty Ty and Emory.
Will Smith has Charlie Mack.
LeBron has Maverick.
My dad says the benefit of
having your boys around
is not only can you trust them,
but they keep you grounded
and never let you forget
where you came from.
Also, I'm not sure,
but I think back in the day,
Broadway might have killed
someone for my dad.
I gotta give it up. You don't really see
that kind of commitment from IG models.
That's dedication.
No, I'm telling you.
Listen, a baby at her age,
right on the cusp of a milli followers?
That little nigga could've sunk her.
Taken her right out of
the Explore Page game.
- That's like blowing your ACL.
- Yeah.
- Rookie year.
- It's awful.
Oh, my God. You will not believe
what I just saw Izzy doing.
I don't think it can be great.
I heard "Act Up" blaring
out of her room.
Not exactly the theme song
to, like, a nonprofit start.
Yeah, that shit's pretty
much the sonic equivalent
of a dirty hypodermic needle.
I'm sorry, babe. I'm just kidding.
Are you okay?
- Do you want me to go talk to her?
- No, I'll I'll handle it.
- Are you sure? I don't mind going
- Yeah, I'm good.
- I'm good, thanks.
- Oh, okay.
- Well, let me know.
- Yeah.
- See what I did there?
- Yes, I did.
- That was a double ask.
- That's That's 20 years.
Oh, very nice. That's a savvy vet move.
I gotta be honest with you, dawg.
Raising my daughters
scares the shit out of me.
All those girls scare
the shit out of me.
That's why I let Jo handle it.
I mean, she's not doing a great job,
obviously, they're out of control.
But at least it's off my plate.
Honestly, man, I just focus
where for me right now,
I'm raising my little dudes.
- I can handle that.
- Right.
- You know what I'm saying?
- Right.
- What up? What up, my D's?
- Hey, Dad!
Yo, what's going on, y'all?
What's up with school?
Wizard school or Dothraki school?
I was just talking about school-school.
That's Dothraki for "easy-peasy."
He's level nine.
What was that?
Um
What what's that you got there?
We made the most annoying
robot in the entire world.
- Check it out.
- Nice.
- You made this?
- Turn it on.
- Yeah.
- All right.
- Come on, Broadway.
- Come on, turn it on.
What's the struggle? Turn it on.
- Come on, turn it on.
- It's easy.
Okay, okay, okay, guys,
I think I think Uncle
Broadway gets it.
Here, take that back.
You made a really cool robot
that's very annoying, as promised.
Why don't you guys do anything other
than be around here right now?
Okay, I love you, Dad.
Lo love you too, buddy.
- Jesus.
- Yeah, that was rough.
Dude, did I drop the ball?
Uh
I mean, you kind of put me
in a tough spot, dawg.
You saw that.
- Yeah.
- Are they okay?
I mean, I thought they were.
Who put them in Dothraki school? Like
- That's my money paying for that?
- Wizard school, bro?
This is their mom's fault.
I really should just handle
everybody on my own, or leave.
- Dudes leave their family all the time.
- They do.
And they seem like they have
natural, like, good times.
I turned out cool, bro.
Leaving's not the answer.
So, Mom,
that thing with Izzy,
what do you feel about that?
Honestly, um
I'm still processing.
I don't want to talk to her until I
I mean, silence, to me,
seems like a strange
impulse to an epic parental failure.
- Drea Please
- You know what?
I'm sorry, I'm editorializing.
Why don't you just walk me
through what you're feeling?
Probably some self-loathing?
Disappointment? Really take me there.
Well, I wasn't feeling
any of those things
until you just said that.
- Well, I'm glad I could help.
- Is that what you call it? "Help"?
Hey, I don't want to
be an alarmist here,
but the next 24 hours determines
whether or not Izzy lives or dies.
Oh.
Well, I'm glad you're
not being an alarmist.
My mom pays for my subscription
to The Atlantic.
I wish she read it once in a while.
Since she seemed so
unconcerned on the subject,
I had to explain that
society sees black girls
as older than their age.
That it's not just a problem,
it's an epidemic.
That this idea has been
around ever since slavery.
How nothing is more convenient
than creating a narrative
that little black girls look
and act older than their age
to justify all the horrible shit
this country has asked of us.
And how now, 400 years later,
there's finally a name for it:
adultification.
I then pointed out the countless
studies done about adultification.
Like the one from Georgetown Law,
which showed that 325 adults
from different races and backgrounds
all perceive black girls
as being more mature,
more sexual and less
in need of protection
than white girls their age.
And this perception affects
every aspect of our lives,
whether it's in school,
where black girls are
three times more likely
to get disciplined than white girls.
Or the healthcare system,
where black women or two to
six times more likely to die
from complications of pregnancy
than white women.
And black infants die twice as
often as their white counterparts.
And we're sure as hell less protected
than white girls from predators.
If all that's not bad enough,
we've got social media to thank
for making it even easier
for the messed-up way the world
looks at us to just flourish.
And since black girls as
young as five years old
are subject to this crap,
adultification means that
little black girls, like Izzy,
don't get to have a childhood.
So the way I looked at it,
my mom had two choices.
Either talk to Izzy now
or see her in a bikini
on the Explore page of
Broadway's Instagram.
Now, I'm going to ask you again.
How are you feeling?
First of all, I am so
proud of my little girl.
You are so smart. I taught you so well.
I probably would have added
something about Venus Hottentot
and how she was paraded naked all
over Europe because of her big butt
'cause that would've added a
little bit of historical context
I'm talking about Izzy!
How are you feeling about Izzy?
Um
Like an epic parental failure.
God, is she going to be okay?
I blew it.
We got it.
Oh, my God, I blew it.
She's gonna be on the pole soon.
It's a black gentrification,
origin story of black people.
Like, if
if the radioactive spider bit blackness,
this and made it move
out like, okay. So, like,
black are you You don't
have to answer, but are you
anyway, gentrification is a part of
Bixby, remind me to call
the business manager ASAP.
Sweetie, hi. I'm so happy to see you.
I wanted to, um, talk to you.
Yeah, I need to ask you
um, something.
Oh, okay. Yeah, ask me anything.
What What do you need?
Uh, can you just tell Caleb's parents
that I'm not going to the sleepover?
Yeah, that's no problem. But, honey
Stink, I just wanted to talk
- about what happened earlier.
- Babe.
I think there's a lot of
things you don't realize
What time is the liberation
feast gonna be ready?
Like, people need to be freed.
- Honestly.
- I know.
But, Izzy, I'm not done with you.
- Babe, like, times?
- I'm not
Like, we need to know what time
the freedom cake needs time to rise up.
I was trying to have
something with my daughter.
She needed something from me.
You ruined that. So, thank you.
I'm sorry. I'm worried
about what time people
Your cake? Is that what
you want? Your cake?
It just needs time to rise up, I said.
- You wanna rise up? Here.
- Oh, my God, you're so
Rise up. Rise up.
- Does that sound risen to you?
- No.
That sounds enslaved.
Of course she doesn't care.
She's always doing some half-assed
Juneteenth celebration.
Remember last year?
She ordered a pizza and put on the
Fleetwood Mac station on Sonos.
Fleetwood Mac for the ending of slavery.
That's what she gave us.
The pizza was not bad, to be fair.
You don't have to pick up their stuff.
That's not your job. They
should pick up their own stuff.
I sometimes leave stuff around.
I'd like that picked up, though.
And my wife can pick
up her own stuff, too.
Um, I lost my Rolex.
It's like a watch like this.
If you see it,
it can just go back and I
won't say anything. Okay?
- Tickle attack!
- Ah!
Ah!
Oh, my Hold on! What
What is that smell?
Oh, my God, it's the both of you!
You smell like two tiny
little homeless men!
This isn't cool, man,
this is like a bumfight!
When's the last time you
guys took a shower?
I don't know.
My dad has a pretty unique way
of getting answers out of the
boys when he needs them.
Just look here, you
stinking little hobos.
I got some simple questions and I'm
expecting some simple answers.
And by "unique," I mean he stole
it from Menace II Society.
Now listen to me, you little bitch.
I'm gonna ask you some
real simple questions
and I want some real simple answers.
The exact cadence, words,
he even made my camera
guy shoot it the same way.
So unoriginal.
So let's get this straight.
When was the last time you showered?
Saturday morning.
So you showered on a Saturday
At 11:15?
Showered on Saturday morning.
Yeah, 11:15.
Was that before or after the movies?
Before. It was before the movies.
It was before the movies.
Uh, yes, I think.
If I recall correctly.
Yes.
So I'm gonna ask you again.
Last time you showered
was Friday?
Yes, we definitely showered on Friday.
Definitely.
Now, you see, son.
You see that date? You know
you done fucked up now, right?
- You done fucked up. You know that?
- You done fucked up.
You just said you showered on Friday.
You didn't go to the movies on Friday.
Fine! It was Thursday morning.
We had school pictures!
So you guys haven't
showered in four days?
Four Earth days.
It's kind of time-management issues.
Mom says we don't have to
shower on the weekends
as long as we go in the pool.
- What?
- No.
Mm-mm, mm-mm.
Guys, listen.
You're getting too old for this.
Seriously, this is real
this is real stuff, man.
People aren't gonna wanna fool
with you if you stink, man.
You know what I'm saying? How
you smell matters. It's hygiene.
We're about to have
dinner in a second now.
You guys need to go upstairs
and get in the shower,
or I'm calling the dog groomer.
No, that's not an option.
Go shower! That wasn't a real thing!
And use soap.
Real human soap.
Okay!
I can't say shit. I ain't seen
my kid in four months.
Izzy! Oh, my God. I saw
your Instagram story.
- You killed it.
- Thanks.
So you could have bent your knees
a little bit on the booty pop,
but we'll get you there.
Izzy?
Can you not encourage that, please?
Dancing?
So I shouldn't encourage
my little sister
to express herself joyfully to music?
I mean, come on. You act
like you never danced
- with your friends before.
- I do dance with my friends,
but I don't put it out there
for everybody to see.
It's not the same thing.
The Get Down Crew is
a semi-professional,
organized dance team for
stress relief and exercise.
You told me it was a mandatory
team-building exercise
- your law firm made you do.
- I love my dancing!
It's all I have!
It is all I have.
Come on, Mom, Izzy's just posting
like any other kid her age.
And everyone twerks.
It's like our version of the Twist
or whatever you did growing up.
The Twist? What the hell
How old do you think I am?
I literally have no idea how old Mom is.
Do you?
Wow.
Now that I think about
it, I have no idea.
She's gotta be, like,
early 50s, late 20s?
Sixty would be crazy. She's not 60. No.
Wow, my mom really
might be 60 years old.
No, 60's crazy. She's not 60.
You know, honestly, it doesn't matter.
- However old she is, she looks great.
- Yeah.
She's had work done, right?
Definitely. But, like, the good work.
- Like J.Lo or Keanu.
- Okay.
Yeah, not like Dad.
Wait, hold up. Dad's had work done?
Oh, yeah. A lot.
He's had, like, beard stuff,
a couple tummy tucks.
- No way.
- You know, I heard Granny say one time
that he almost died
getting eyelid surgery.
What the fuck was he trying
to do to his eyelids?
Hell, I don't know. But it didn't work.
Like, at all.
- Looks like he's never slept.
- Or drunk water.
Damn. We should really figure
out how old our parents are.
Yeah, we're not great.
This is about adultification.
There's a really insightful
article that I read
Oh, my God! Have you
been talking to Drea?
Don't let her spin you out like this.
You've had all of this great work
done. You don't want frown lines.
Look, I I can't just
ignore this, Chlo.
I want my girls to know
that sexuality isn't their
only currency, you know?
I mean, isn't that the
whole point of feminism?
- Drea was actually saying
- No, Drea is not a feminist.
She's a bully.
She's out here telling women
how to act and dress and think.
She's like the Taliban but less fun.
I mean, we gotta let Izzy get her life.
This is the moment for girls
to do whatever they want.
Yeah, sure. Unfortunately,
that does not apply to black girls.
Hey, I know that, Mom.
And it's exactly why she has to do
everything her white friends are doing.
Aw. My baby.
I just want to protect her.
Okay, this is the culture now, Mom.
You should be proud of her,
not slut-shaming her.
Are you saying she's a slut?
Oh, my God, my baby girl's a slut.
Drea's right. I'm a total failure.
My daughter is a slut and it's my fault.
Dude, being a slut isn't a bad thing.
It is bad-bitch season, and you
have to get with the times!
Instagram models make
more than neurosurgeons.
And strippers are the shit.
God, I hope Chloe is not stripping.
And if she is, I hope she's not
doing it at Spearmint Rhino
'cause I keep finding matchbooks
from there in your dad's jeans.
You know what? Fuck it.
That might be the sobering
moment they both need.
That might be the best
thing for both of them.
Huh.
Come on, Mom.
Are you telling me you've never
had your bad-bitch moment?
Um
Um, not that I Not
that I can recall, no.
If you ever show anyone that photo,
I will have you killed and I
will still cry at your funeral.
If you want to be a good mom,
you're gonna let Izzy
dance with her friends
like a normal 13-year-old girl.
And I promise you, if you go up there
and give some weirdo speech
about adultification,
you're just gonna make things way worse,
and she's not gonna want to
talk to you about anything.
You know what? Just throw everything
I said about gentrification out.
Gentrification has
nothing to do with this.
This box represents black culture.
Right? That's the blackness of the box.
- Right.
- This is black culture.
And the white flecks are, like
the white people coming in and push
Okay, okay, that's gentrification.
So don't throw it all out,
- because that's something to do with this.
- Oh, okay.
So the white diamond flecks represent
gentrifica
represent white gentrifica
you know, black gentr
You can't escape blackness, dude.
It's a black box that you
can't get out of, man.
You know what I'm saying?
Uh, so should I just tell your
urologist you'll call him back or
Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hey, guys.
Can you come here for a second?
Yeah. What's up?
Does this Does this
feel right to you?
I mean, my clothes are a little tight.
- Clothes are a little tight?
- Mine feel pretty loose.
Like, really loose?
Almost like they could fit his body?
And do yours feel almost
like they could fit his body?
To be fair, it was an honest mistake.
Having said that, though,
I do not hate this.
Me neither. I like the room.
You know, I can be myself.
I like to move. But, you know,
I'm I'm a casual guy.
And I'm more into, like, a Euro fit.
I feel like I'm in my true form.
And if our dad spent more time with us,
I'm pretty sure he'd know that.
Why would I want to spend more
time with them? They're idiots.
I mean, they're small idiots.
I'm sorry, I don't mean that. I mean
they are idiots, but maybe this
is a little bit on me.
I mean, I've been so busy
trying to, like, build
a legacy around them,
I guess I could have neglected
who they are and what they're
becoming. I guess that's possible.
No, fuck that.
This is genetic. It's in their marrow.
Joya's little brothers are weirdos.
They're gonna bottom out at Chico
State and get hooked on Lean.
I can smell it.
Bixby,
remind me to change my will.
Call lawyer immediately.
Look at part with Joya.
May take her out, too.
Genetic defects.
I I'll take the call.
He said to just come in.
Fuck!
I'm sure it's fine.
I'm sure it's good news.
It's probably good news.
You want one?
You know I do.
Take this one.
Whoa. I was gonna tell you I thought
I messed up with the boys,
but are you okay?
I just
I don't know what to do
about Izzy. I feel like
I need to press her, you know,
or I'm about to lose her,
but if I press her,
I could also lose her.
Wanna talk about it, babe?
Not really.
You sure?
It's just, like, with Chloe.
It was so clear who she was.
You know, she was like extroverted
and social and bubbly.
And Drea was, like,
this introverted, cerebral
And at some point have to let go.
I mean, that's something I do know.
I just felt like it wasn't
gonna be this soon, so
Normally, the double ask
works. Like, every time.
But when it backfires,
Jesus Christ, does it backfire!
It's like I like I knew how
to parent them, you know?
'Cause they were who they were,
and I just kind of watched them become
the best versions of themselves.
But with Izzy, it's like I
don't know who she is yet,
- so I don't really know
- Mm-hm.
what to say to her
or how to help her.
I'm sorry.
- Am I rambling?
- No.
- I'm rambling.
- No, you're
Go. Please continue.
It's just, like, I really thought
that I would have her for longer.
Like, that's my baby, that's
my baby girl, you know?
- Oh, my God.
- I feel like I'm losing her.
My My nose is bleeding.
I'll be Yeah. You can't see the
blood, though, but it's bleeding.
I'll be right back.
- You okay?
- Yea, I'm fine, babe.
It's bloodless. Bloodless
nosebleed. It happens.
I love you.
Stink?
Hi, Stink.
Hi, you have a minute?
No, not really.
Okay, well, um, I just
I've been wanting to
talk to you about
If you're here to talk about the
dancing video, don't worry.
I I already took it down.
You did?
I take all my videos down,
like, an hour after I post it.
Don't want my content getting stale.
Oh.
Okay. Yeah, that's cool. Very cool.
No No stale content.
Did you tell Caleb's parents that
I can't make it to the sleepover?
You know what? I haven't,
I'm sorry. I'll do that.
- I'm sorry.
- Great. Thanks, Mom.
Honey, what
What's going on? You okay?
Yeah, I'm fine. Everything's great.
Okay.
I'll leave you to refresh your content.
Mom?
Remember last week when the
entire team was at Caleb's house?
Yeah.
We were playing 2K like we always do,
and then everyone decided
they wanted to play ball,
so I switched up my clothes,
and when I came out, everyone
was looking at me crazy.
I didn't know why until
Caleb came up to me
and whispered that I should
probably go put a bra on.
No!
Yeah.
It's just
weird now.
Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry.
That's why you don't want
to go tonight to his house.
Yeah. It's, like, overnight,
everything's different.
Yeah, I can imagine.
It's just awkward now.
Yeah, I get that, but
he's your friend, right? For a
long time? You gonna just
stop being friends with him?
No, Caleb's my boy.
I just think the sleepover
days might be over.
It's fine.
But he'll still be my friend.
Okay.
In life, everyone faces pressure.
And, as black people, we face a lot.
But our ability to
overcome that pressure
is what celebrating
Juneteenth is all about.
Because with enough
pressure, what do you get?
Diamonds.
Shining brightest in
the face of adversity.
Illuminating those precious moments like
knowing you're going to have
your baby for a little bit longer.
- Yes!
- Buckets!
Whoo!
That's my girl!
Or realizing that your legacy is bigger
and broader than you thought.
And it turns out that's what
this painting was all about.
I mean, I don't get it.
I do. I'm actually the artist who
made it. Knowledge Bennet.
Oh, my God. I'm I'm so sorry.
I'm Joya. I'm Kenya's wife.
It's a painting about spirituality.
It's a painting about the
essence of who we are.
As black people, we're so
many different things;
variations of so many different colors.
And it's the sum total
of all of these colors
that presents blackness
in its purest form;
in all of its brilliance,
all of its splendor.
God, that's so beautiful.
I totally get it.
- Thank you. I appreciate that.
- Hold on, what?
You get it? That's a
literally word for word
what I've been saying all night long.
- Almost verbatim.
- That's literally nothing like what you said.
Did you talk about gentrification?
- No. No.
- What?
That man explained it beautifully.
Okay.