Aqua Teen Hunger Force (2000) Episode Scripts

N/A - Super Hero

- Steve.
- Yeah? Pick up that stick.
Slowly and carefully, now agitate the hell out of this snake! Oh, hell no! "Who is the Drizzle"? Yeah, who is he? Wear the button.
- He's you.
You the Drizzle.
- I wish.
But I am very good friends with the Drizzle.
He wanted you to have these special Drizzle phones.
They connect directly to the man himself when you need his superhelp.
He's giving us a cell phone? There's no text messaging.
This a suck phone.
Yeah, but it's free for the first month, and then after that the Drizzle expects you to walk on your own, you know.
You're the ones in trouble, not him.
So, anyone in distress? Anything, you know, shaking? You know, trouble? - Yes.
How do I call Japan? - No! I just got a deal on my phone.
No international calls! The Drizzle's local.
- I'm going back to my room, okay? - Yes! To the room! Scan the Internet and see if anyone's screaming for help.
I'm calling Japan.
Who the hell do you know there? Nobody! - Hello, Japan? - No! - Yes, connect me to Godzilla, please.
- You don't get a phone.
I told the Drizzle you'd mess this up.
It hasn't been five minutes and you did.
Trouble! Hello? Yeah, it's me.
What did you want me to do a search for? Do Okay, give me a search for "super crime," "girls in trouble" and "press release, how to".
Here's what your search turned up.
"Sex with animals"? There's no time, man! You know, you're right.
I don't have time for this.
But, you know, the Drizzle, when he was As a kid, he was bitten by a feisty worm in a science lab accident.
Radioactive stuff.
I don't know how it happened, but I swear to God from that day on he was able to manipulate the rain, and that is fresh.
- Rain? - Yeah.
For justice.
You know, when the villains try to do stuff, he's like a rain out.
Rain it out! Justice reigns supreme.
Yeah.
That's deep, Shake.
Yeah.
See, then they got to pick another day to do the crime and he's rained it out again! He's always a step ahead.
Finally, they can't schedule their deeds of, you know, misdoing.
- They just get tired.
- You know, that's really amazingly lame.
Yeah.
It sounded cooler last week.
I heard he has laser feet.
That's cool, right? I ask you.
You know, you would think that if he got bit by a radioactive worm he'd have some sort of burrowing powers or something like that, right? Well, he could do that, too.
I mean, none of it's written in stone.
I mean, he's bad.
To the bone.
- Yeah.
- His laser bone.
Thanks for the Drizzle phone.
I'll be sure to contact him if we need to dig a hole in the yard or something.
Okay.
I'll be in the crawlspace if you need him.
- Look at this.
- What? - Maybe we should call the Drizzle.
- What is it? Is it easy? Apparently three drums of highly toxic chemical waste have been stolen from their storage facility in the river.
You know, that is so beneath the Drizzle.
I mean, he doesn't solve unscheduled robberies.
What kind of a This stuff needs to be known in advance.
- I know.
- So he can get the clouds going and stuff.
- There's a lot of prep work involved.
- Sure.
Plus, he had nothing to do with that.
And I will deny it up and down if you say I did.
He did.
Come on, wormies.
Let's go.
Soup's on.
Eat it up.
Save some room for dessert, which is gonna be me.
What, do you got a broken arm? Here, lap it up.
Oh, damn it.
I guess there's nothing to do but just Oh, no! An accident! How did this happen? Oh! I'm getting stronger.
I'm getting hotter, too.
I mean, really hot.
Hot! Hot! Drizzle here.
Yes, Drizzle, violent criminals - What did you Fat Albert? - Prince Albert.
- Yeah, I put Fat Albert in a can.
- No, no.
It's Prince.
Prince Albert.
Oh, okay.
Hang on.
I put Fat Albert in a can, in your can.
I'll need precise coordinates, ma'am.
Okay.
It's in your butt, boy.
Did you hear me? It's in your butt! Pranksters! Sons of - Drizzle here.
- Shake? - No Shake.
This is the Drizzle.
- Come on, Shake.
Come on, what? This is the Drizzle.
What do you need? All right, is Shake around? You're friends with him, right? Check.
10-4.
Shake, are you there? Yes, I'm right beside you.
You have a call.
Thank you.
Out.
Hand the phone to me, please.
Yes.
Here you go.
- Shake? - Hello, this is Shake.
- Shake.
- Hold on, please.
Thank you, Drizzle.
This is Shake.
Whatever.
The printer called and said that the Drizzle stationery and business cards are ready but they're concerned with the paper being black and the ink being black that Everything must be black, like the storm of justice! Well, maybe you better talk to them, then.
And this is blocking up the hallway.
The Eye of Justice.
The Drizzle is lost without it.
He needs to turn it off.
And, by the way, where is he? Because if he is flexible, I have a few ideas that I think he might like.
Yeah, here we go! Notes.
All right, within reason.
But you gotta understand I make the final call on this.
Okay.
Come on out.
It might be a good idea.
That doesn't mean it's a "Drizzle" good idea.
Howdy, villains.
I'm Mr.
Mister.
Watch your back, crime.
- When I get pissed, you get mist.
- Forget it.
See? He's the Drizzle's new sidekick.
- Nice try, fellas.
- He's the Mist Master.
No! That's not happening.
The Drizzle works alone.
He doesn't share the credit with ignoramuses.
He's a renegade.
Plus, he's not married.
Couldn't Mr.
Mister just hang out on the adventures and help get things wet? The Drizzle is the wet one.
Get your own thing.
You can't.
Because you're insecure.
I told you this was stupid.
I want to do lightning and thunder.
- He don't do that.
- He doesn't need it.
Rain is his thing, man.
Sheets and sheets of it.
And it drenches criminals when they're outside.
So then they go inside and rob banks and kill people.
Oh, yeah? Is that what you think? Taste the rain of vengeance.
Rain Power, go! Come on! You can expect a forecast of vengeance in the very near future.
- Shake, are you on fire? - What? No.
This is What is this? - Them is fumes.
- Fumes? That's what you ought to be, boy.
Call yourself "the Fume".
Look, let me straighten you out.
I'm not doing that, okay? It's ridiculous.
Print shop? I'm inquiring about a very large project on the Fume.
Check under "Drizzle".
Yeah, there's been some changes.
See, I'm sorry to say but that storm cloud's got to become a fume now 'cause that's what I do.
So do it.
It's not my fault it's already done, sir.
That's a different guy and he's dead now.
No! I didn't sign off on that, okay? Hey, don't make me send the Fume down there.
Black on black, you got it.
I am not asking you if people will be able to write on it.
I'm telling you I want black on black! What am I speaking? Am I talking Greek to you? I want the "D" to an "F," and I want a fume instead of a storm cloud.
Is this hard? - No, I am not the Fume.
- You should call it "the Node".
- I market him.
I'm his friend.
- Or "the Fish Tail".
He's not around because I'm here.
Do it.
Or "That Thing That's Spurting All Over the Place".
What are you I'm conducting business here.
Is that part of you? Oh, God, what is it? It won't move! There's no nerves in there.
This just came for the Drizzle.
Where do you want it? - Who's the Drizzle? - We don't know that, do we? - But he owes me $40 for the C.
O.
D.
- I don't know what to tell you.
Last I heard, he was going to conduct business in the middle of the sun.
That could be bad.
So I guess we can send this box back, then.
No.
You know what? I have the key to his Fortress of Precipitation.
I'll drop it off.
Let's look at it, though.
What the hell is this? The cloud was supposed to be at least twice this size.
- Yeah, and I thought he didn't do lightning.
- He doesn't! I told that moron half a dozen times over the phone What's this? Villains? This is too busy.
This is all too busy! By the time you read it, you're dead.
Say, can I get that $40 now, 'cause, you know - I'm not paying for this! No.
Give me that.
- Where are you going? I'm going to let the Fume know that he needs to let the world know he exists.
Downtown is in flames tonight, as a mysterious arsonist Shake.
You messed up this time.
- Is that me? Am I on? - Damn! What? What's the matter? Never seen a TV star before? Have you seen yourself recently? Well, I'm trying to see myself on TV, but you won't move.
- Did you get taller? - Yeah, I did.
Yeah.
Our video enhancement technology shows what appears to be ants running from a charred catfish.
I told them that it wouldn't read.
Yeah, that's all the clues except for the life-size letters spelling out "the Fume," you idiots! - You're dissolving like sugar in coffee.
- Meatwad! - All right, I have something to confess.
- You're the Fume? - How did you know? - More like "the Puddle" now.
Listen! We must keep my secret identity a secret.
And that's what sucks about a secret identity.
I will never get the credit that I deserve for the attention-grabbing things that I do.
- What is that? - The floor, it's making sounds.
Fume Power, go forth! You know, suffocate! - I got it.
- No, I got it.
- You got it.
Okay, you get it - That's what I was gonna do.
- What the hell were those? - Man, you know, it has been a long day.
- Is this toxic waste down here? - I gotta tell you, I am wiped.
Man, this whole house is contaminated.
And would it kill us to get an AC unit in here? I mean, I'm burning up.
I'll check the thermostat.
Come on, Meatwad.
- Very funny, fellas.
- Come on, Meatwad.
Who put it way up on the wall? I think we're gonna live with Uncle Carl for a few weeks.
- Okay, but wait.
- Well, look at what has happened! Look who's locked out in the drizzle! Where's your poncho now Okay.
Now we can go to Carl's.