Aqua Teen Hunger Force (2000) Episode Scripts

N/A - Unremarkable Voyage

- Aah! - Aah! Oh, man Oh, man, he's backing up! Fly! He's backing up! Come on! No.
We'll double his pleasure.
Take two, mother muchachos! - And call us in the morning.
- Yeah, call us.
We'll be drunk.
Hey, what's wrong with your fingers? They seem to be all up in my grill when they would be better placed crammed up your buttocks.
Biznatch.
You should say that to his face.
I did, just as soon as I flipped them off with I I can't flip the You flip them off with your fingers, Emory.
Uh, I I can't get it to do right.
Well, then show him the dark sides of the plutonium moons.
Hey, kiss this one.
What the Dude, they're mooning us.
Impossible.
We are the Mooninites.
- Engage moon deflectors.
- Commence remooning at once.
- Remooning commence - Err, please.
Your buttocks are so small and square it barely reads as a moon.
Then it's time for full frontal! Open the fly to your sunshine.
Yeah, put 'em on the glass.
My name is Shake Zula The mike ruler, the old-schooler You want to trip, I'll bring it to ya Frylock and I'm on top, rock you like a cop Meatwad, you're up next with your knock-knock Meatwad make the money, see Meatwad get the honeys, G Drivin' in my car, livin' like a star Ice on my fingers and my toes and I'm a Taurus Uh, check-check it, yeah 'Cause we are the Aqua Teens Make the homeys say ho and the girlies want to scream 'Cause we are the Aqua Teens Make the homeys say ho and the girlies want to scream Aqua Teen Hunger Force Number one in the 'hood, G So the real question is how do we improve computer chip technology faced with microscopic size limitations? And I know we've all asked ourselves that at one time or another, right? Oh.
Shake? Meatwad? - Hey! - Uhh! - Shrink ray.
- You got a shrink ray? We had to go through all that crap just so you could show us the shrink ray? Now what you're saying is interesting.
- All right, shrink this.
- Whoa! - The chair! - Now shrink this.
- Wait a minute.
- Shrink this.
- No, not that one.
- Then shrink this.
- Make it a big-screen.
- Meatwad it's not a toy, Shake.
You say that about everything you own.
You should own toys.
They're fun.
Shake, this is an important scientific tool.
I mean, surgery, space exploration.
Can't you just see the applications? Yes.
Make my johnson bigger! And make this a foot-long.
Hey and shoot us a pool in the back.
The ray does not shoot pools.
Then why are you wasting your time on it? You oughta invent, like, a pool-shooting ray.
- Swimming.
- Doing the high dive.
Marco Polo! I mean, can't you see the applications? Give me some relish.
And mustard, too.
I want me a yellow dog.
No.
We're doing my johnson first and let me find some chicks and upgrade their butts 'cause baby likes back.
My anaconda don't want none All right, everyone, just stand back and prepare to make history.
Amazing.
Do you realize that now this chip can be inserted into a microbot that could enter into someone's skin Or it can be inserted into the mouth, manually and digested, so it can battle hunger and taste good.
Ooh! Tell me you didn't just eat that freakin' Oh, boy, you said it was a chip, so where's the dip? Or am I looking at him? Ooh, you did not even just do that! You are so dead.
Oh, no, you didn't! Oh, my God! All right.
Here you go.
Drink this.
- I'm not thirsty.
- I said drink it.
Well, what is it? It's mustard, vinegar, and oyster sauce.
Oyster sauce? All right.
Because, you see, that chip? It's coming out of you one way or another.
A little tart, but you could fix that with a little half-and-half.
But it was good.
So give me another.
I get it now.
He bad-mouths you and you make him delicious sugary energy shakes and I open my mouth, in a helpful way and I get slapped.
Must be in topsy-turvy world.
Here's another, and I may have peed in this one.
- No way.
- Shake, wait I'm in training.
Kinda fruity when you Yeah, that was good.
My teeth feel gritty and I'm going to lie down.
Well, not bad.
Scrape me some of that in a glass.
A body needs nutrients.
And I need that chip, Meatwad, one way or the other.
Oh, OK.
Yeah.
Fecal matter.
Stool sample.
Don't talk about it.
Just do it.
Heh heh.
Well, I don't do it.
My body consumes all waste material.
It's like the Thunderdome in here.
Only two men enter.
No man leaves.
- Rated "R.
" - No.
Starring Mel Gibson and Master Blaster.
Are you serious? - Yup.
- You don't Don't what? - Uh - Come on.
You you know.
Look, we're adults in here.
You can say it.
Uh, poop? You said "poop"! Hey, Shake, Frylock said "poop" in here! Poop! Ha ha ha ha! Poop.
Look, here's a solution.
You want your chip so damn bad shrink yourself down with your gun come in here, and get it.
Oh, well, that's, heh heh, that's cute, Meatwad but, uh, that would never work.
OK, Shake.
Shrink me down and inject me into Meatwad so I can get that chip.
Good plan.
How is that different from what I said? - Because I said "inject.
" - OK, which is the button? It's the red one.
It's the only one on there.
- This one? - Shake.
- Hey, bitch! - Confirm for me.
- Hey, boy! - Is this the button? - Yes! Stop! - Stop! - Was that the one? - Yes.
Now stop shrinking him.
Otherwise, I can't get in there.
All right, crybaby.
Tears can dry.
But that was the button.
- Yes.
Stop it, will you? - Aah! So are we gonna go through this masquerade all day or, uh, are we gonna get down to business? Look, I'm ready.
OK, now, put me in the syringe.
Say that again.
That was awesome.
Come on.
I'm tired of messing around.
Put me in there! I wish you could hear how you sound.
It's hysterical.
Ha ha ha.
Hey! Hey, get back here.
Where the hell are you going? Hey, I go where I want to, little man.
Man, I don't understand a damn thing y'all are doing.
Quick, grab a weapon and battle for the mountain! - Damn it, Shake.
- You will call me king, slave.
Now fight for my amusement! - Ow! - How'd you like that tune-up? Carl, what are you doing? Stay down.
He said if I won, he'd make my johnson bigger.
I mean, it's all right but, uh, you know never hurts to get extra credit, you know what I mean? OK, OK, OK, Fry man.
I get it.
He just sort of played with my insecurities.
Come on, Fry man.
I'd never hurt you.
Oh, no! Beware of the hairy giant! Look I'm sorry about this, Fry man - but it's you or me.
- Aah! And I keep getting these freakin' e-mails.
These people I know that I'm small down there! Carl, will you listen to me? Yeah, listen to him.
Isn't it funny how he talks? Hey, hang on.
I'm gonna make it even funnier.
Hold on a minute.
If we work together, we can defeat him.
All right, we'll work a deal, but you gotta promise me.
You got to get me some action down here when we're done with this.
I mean, I'm freakin, you know, hung like a zoo animal but I want more girth.
Oh, no! A hailstorm of orange drink! Aww, come on, man! Fry man, shoot this jackass.
That's it.
You just made your last mistake.
Try this on for size.
Aww, that's so cute.
You want to compare rays.
OK.
OK, so, uh, hey.
Heh heh.
I won, right? So, are you gonna hook me up here, or what? You know, I need, uh, length and girth.
Both, preferably.
I'll take one.
Whatever.
One more contender in the battle for the mountain! Oh, freakin' take it.
It's right over there.
Wake up, Shake.
Shake.
- Wake up.
- Let me do it.
Get up, you freakin' jerkoff.
- Where are you? - We're all up in your brain.
No, that's impossible.
I have no brain.
Yeah, we noticed.
So I just had to short-circuit some nerves in here.
We control you now.
- Oh, bull crap.
- Hey, buddy! You're about to see what I think is funny.
Hey, pick up the baseball bat.
No, no, no, no.
No! Why am I doing this? I'm dreaming! Well, let's just wake you up, there, all right? Rise and shine, buddy! Yo, I'm doing this 'cause I want to do it all the time when you're not around.
Aww.
All gone.
Start up the chainsaw.
OK, wait.
We can discuss this.
I don't think so, sir, without your tongue.
Aah! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Meatwad I'll increase you with the ray - then you do us, OK? - OK.
Hit me.
Keep it coming.
Need a little more.
No, this is small.
Little more.
Little more.
Keep it coming.
All right, whoa.
There we go.
Gimme another little bump.
That's big enough.
Now do us.
Hey, y'all see this big old hot dog? - Meatwad? - Damn, that's a big hot dog.
- Meatwad! - Hey! - Meatwad! - Hey, get back here! Meatwad.
Wake up, Meatwad.
Wake up.
Who's in there? Are you in my brain? Get out of my brain! No, we're right here.
Oh, good.
Hey, you want you some hot dog? We we got plenty.
Look at this.
Solid meat.
Hello, ladies.
I'd like you to meet my little friend Goliath.
We had to order special elastic pants for him on the internet.
In case you're wondering we had to blow out one of Shake's eyeballs to get out but we're OK now, no thanks to you.
Where's Carl? Oh, yeah! Awesome! He's, uh, enhancing himself.
Is he learning a second language? Hey, you guys got a wheelbarrow in here or, uh, you know, grocery cart or something? No, Carl, we don't.
- Anything with wheels.
- No, Carl.
What, you're telling me I got to drag this frickin' thing across the lawn? Call the neighbors.
I want them to see this.
- Oh, damn! - Oh, my God.
Hey, um, I told you I'd find that chip.
Oh, this frickin' ray is frickin' awesome.
Hey, you think this works on boobs? Yeah, it probably would, but it must be destroyed.
Oh, OK, Mr.
Moral.
Look, don't do that.
I'll buy it from you.
Come on, man.
Oh, man, you blew it, dude.
I'd have given you, like, fifteen bucks.
You're stupid for a genius.
What the what the hell is that? Look, Frylock, crabs.
Can we keep 'em? Boy, there's a lot of those.
Well, look, they're harmless, all right? They get near you, hit 'em with the shampoo.
Dancing is forbidden Dan-Dancing is forbidden Dancing is forbidden D- D-Dancing is forbidden Dan-Dancing is forbidden