Baskets (2016) s03e05 Episode Script
Sweat Equity
1 MRS.
BASKETS: This is Sleepy.
- He's a sign spinner.
- What?! Mom has me, uh, working front of house.
Face it you got demoted.
MRS.
BASKETS: We need a big finale.
Fireworks are always a crowd-pleaser.
I'll buy two on my personal credit card.
Two! - Mother! - [FIREWORKS POPPING.]
[SQUEALING, EXPLOSION.]
Oh? [SCREAMING.]
[ORGAN PLAYS UPBEAT HYMN.]
[WOMEN LAUGHING AND MURMURING.]
Shh, shh.
Oh, my God.
Oh, hi.
I love this hymn.
- I know.
- It's horrible! - I had to throw my dress away! - It was a shame.
And I'm still picking lobster out of my hair.
- I bet.
I know.
- [LAUGHTER.]
Hi, girls! Happy Sunday! - Oh, hi.
- Christine.
- I'm so sorry I was in your seat before.
- Oh.
I would have moved for you, Christine.
- During the service?! - Sure.
- At my church? - Oh.
It is my church, you know.
I'd love to do the collection plate next week.
Hey, did you all enjoy yourselves at the opera night? It was glorious! I mean, the music and the fireworks - and your smiling face.
- Oh.
MAGGIE: Well, you know who wasn't smiling? My dry cleaner.
You'd think he'd never seen a fire extinguisher stain before.
[LAUGHTER.]
Uh-huh.
Well, I'll fix that.
I'll get you a steamer cleaner from the SkyMall.
- Oh, for heaven's sakes.
- Oh.
- Don't even think about it.
- Don't worry about it.
- We love you, darling.
- We're gonna see you real soon, Christine.
Sweetheart, I'll call you.
Bye-bye, honey.
I would love to hear your side.
JIM: Christine's opera night put you in the hole $50,000, and ticket sales are doing nothing.
Uh-huh.
[GROWLS.]
I think my mom has lost her mind, Uncle Jim.
She's gonna blow through my inheritance - before she's even dead.
- Well, that is my mother's fault.
I don't know what she was thinking, leaving Christine a lump sum.
She doesn't know the first thing about business.
Yeah, but I do! That's my point! [QUIETER.]
: I-I mean, I do.
And I've tried to warn her, but, no, no, she won't listen.
She's gonna drag the whole family down with her.
Now, you were right calling me down here.
[WHISPERING.]
: I should have never fronted Mama the money for those fireworks.
My back! Oh! Now, you know, that is all in your head.
What is? - Hmm.
- MRS.
BASKETS: Hey.
We having a meeting without me? Hi.
[LAUGHING.]
: Well, hello to you, too, sister.
- [LAUGHING.]
- How are you? I didn't know you were in town.
- Yeah.
- How have you been? Good, good, good.
I just, uh, thought I'd swing by on my way to a Quiznos convention.
- Oh, good.
- [LAUGHING.]
I just came in to get my Costco card.
You sure Dale didn't invite you? Oh, now I need an invitation? No, but it would be nice to know when you're coming.
You're family, you know.
- We were having some doughnuts.
- Well, that's good.
Why don't you come over at 4:00, and I'll make hamburger pizza? - JIM: My favorite! - [PHONE BUZZING, RINGTONE PLAYING.]
It's a date, then.
Come over at 4:00.
Walk me out.
I got a million things to do.
- DALE: Hey, sweetie.
- Well, it's so nice to see you.
Well, I can't pick you up right now.
It's the middle of the afternoon.
I'm at work.
What do you mean, "Bill can do it"? Who's Bill? You got it all figured out, don't you, Sleepy? Oh, God.
Chip, did you know that Jim was here? Yes, he and, uh, Dale went into your office.
Why didn't you stop 'em? Was I supposed to do that? I'm front of house.
I stay in my own lane.
I thought maybe you empowered him like you did Sleepy.
- [SIGHS.]
- [SCOFFS.]
Chip, did you know that Nicole is dating some buy named Bill? Yeah, the guy from the new Froyo place? Yeah, I'd heard something about that.
Everybody knows but me! And guess who I heard it from.
My daughter.
You didn't expect me to tell you about it, right? I'm not gonna insert myself into that situation? It's a situation?! Oh, my God.
DANIEL: Give us a note, watch me for the tempo.
- [PIANO PLAYS NOTES.]
- Bring it out more, right? Bring it out more.
You guys come in and start with you.
- And one, ah, ah, ah.
- [SINGING.]
- No-no-no-no-no.
Sing.
Fill - Daniel? Fill the Oh, hey.
Hi! - Sorry to bother you.
- No.
- Sorry to interrupt.
I'm sorry.
- No, no.
No, no, no.
I'm trying to get these kids just to be a little less dependent on me.
Keep going, guys! You can do it without me.
- What's going on? - Uh oh, it's a mess.
Um, I need some tips on running a family business.
My son brought my brother in who owns a couple of, uh, Quiznos franchises, - and now - A few Quiznos? I mean, maybe he knows something - about the business.
- Uh - Well, maybe it is all my pride.
- [SINGING IN HARMONY.]
It is only a rodeo, after all, but Is that a song I would know? That hymn it sounded so Oh, this is a new song.
See, they-they write all their own material.
Some of these kids are super, super talented.
Not not that one or that one, but but the ones on the outside of the piano They-they're pretty good.
[LAUGHS.]
Just kidding.
Oh.
Wait, wait, wait.
Oh, I got Mm.
Okay.
So, these are, um, hymn templates, and you just The next time you're tossing and turning at night, you have an idea, and you think, "Hey, that would make a good hymn," jot it down.
Christine, I can't wait to see what comes out of your mind.
Oh, thank you.
I feel much better.
Thank you so much for talking to me.
- I should let you get back to the - Okay.
- Door's open any time.
Any time.
- Oh, you're a lifesaver.
- And, hey - The whole thing Beautiful, though.
- Thank you.
Thanks.
- [WHISPERS.]
: But thank you for this.
All right.
Door's always open, okay? - Always open.
- Okay.
MRS.
BASKETS: Just how you like it, Jim, on the rocks.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Chip? You've been losing weight, Christine? Well, maybe from all the running around at work.
[LAUGHING.]
: Who knows? [LAUGHING.]
: Like a chicken with your head cut off? More like a bull in a China shop.
[LAUGHING.]
: Or a bull at the rodeo.
- [SIGHS.]
- Well, don't have a cow.
Geez.
I really have to make this rodeo thing work, Jim.
I'm here for you, sis.
You just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
If you get overwhelmed, you're no use to anybody.
- Know what I mean? - Hmm.
Uh, isn't that right, Chip? Yeah.
Wait.
What am I agreeing to? Well, your uncle thinks that I'm too emotional when it comes to business, and, um, he's got a lot more experience, and he's giving me some sage advice.
So, I'm all ears, Jim.
I can help you out best I can, you know, with my experience.
I'm a college graduate.
Didn't you go to DeVry? - It's a college.
- It's accredited.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
FEMALE VOICE: Welcome to Frobot, the yogurt of the future.
I am a robot ready to serve up - some delicious frozen yogurt.
- Hey.
Huh? Come on up.
FEMALE VOICE: Tap for flavors, tap for toppings.
Can your dad give us extra toppings? That is not her dad.
I am her dad, okay? - What are you doing here? - He is not.
I thought you couldn't give me a ride.
Well, I came to buy you and your friend Whose name I can't remember Some extra toppings for your frogurt.
Is it Denise? - No.
It's Hannah.
- Hannah.
Hannah.
- You have a friend named Denise, though.
- You must be Dale.
Must I be, then? Must I be? - Ah.
- [LAUGHING.]
: Yeah, okay.
I really - don't do that MTV stuff.
- Okay, okay.
- Bill.
- Hey, Bill.
How are you? - Great.
- I wanted to let you know that I gave birth to her, and we have a lot of diabetes in the family, and I don't need any more sugar freaks.
I just want to make sure that the sugar content in the Frobot, uh, is not too high, 'cause I don't want to put her at an early grave.
Yogurt.
Not too much sugar, but, uh, sorry.
Didn't know.
How would you? You barely know her.
- Well, damage is done.
- DANIELLE: Bill? - We're ready to shoot.
- Oh.
Yeah, uh, I'm gonna go be on the news, so, uh, excuse me.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
Anybody can be on television.
All you have to do is rob a bank or kick a dog.
Nice to meet you.
Hey.
How you doing? [SIGHS.]
- Oh, you don't have to do that, Jim.
- No, I love it.
- Here, will you take that? - Yeah.
Oh, well, I'm gonna finish this dessert.
You know, when I bought my first franchise, I washed every dish.
Opened every morning, closed every night.
Takes over your life.
[CHUCKLES.]
That's why you got to love it.
You love the rodeo, Christine? Do I love the rodeo? Hmm.
Well - Do you love Quiznos? - Quiznos? Yeah.
[LAUGHING.]
: Hell yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I never thought I'd end up owning a rodeo.
[LAUGHING.]
: Who does? Right, Chip? I'm just happy to do whatever you you need me to do.
Are you, Chip? 'Cause I bought it for the family.
And if I'm doing it for you and you're doing it for me, then Well, then, what are we doing here? I mean, I can give you the best advice for business in the whole world, but, uh, if you fundamentally don't want to be in the business Oh.
Maybe I should let it go.
Well, give Dale a shot.
He's got a good head on his shoulders.
I'd be willing - to bet on him myself.
- [DOOR OPENS.]
Did you tell her yet, Uncle Jim? Tell me what? Well, Uncle Jim's gonna help me buy back the rodeo.
You know, since you messed up, I'm in, you're out.
What? And here I thought we were just, you know, brother and sister.
Talking about our dilemmas.
We were.
We are.
Dale was just, uh, getting a little, little bit ahead of himself.
DALE: No, I'm not.
I fronted you money for fireworks, and now my kids are hanging out with some guy named Bill who kind of buys them off with yogurt toppings! You can't count the one time you lent me money against all the times I wiped your butt and fed you boys.
- [TOILET FLUSHES.]
- Taught you the ABCs.
What about my sweat equity? "Sweat equity"? Someone's been watching Suze Orman.
DALE: Well, what a what a What about the sweat equity I put in with my kids? If that's legal tender here in the town of Bakersfield, then, uh, maybe I can use it for-for child support when I pick up my girls on Saturday.
My my back's hurting.
It hurts.
I'm stressed.
What do you think, Chip? Should I let Dale run the business now? CHIP: Mother, I'm trying to urinate.
[TOILET FLUSHES.]
So, all of a sudden my opinion counts, huh? I thought I was just, you know, - front of house.
- Don't say "front of house.
" If you have a new routine, I'd love to see it.
My door's always open to you.
Oh, great, so I get to audition for you anytime? Wonderful career news, Mom.
That's sarcasm, by the way.
I think I know that.
DALE: Hey, Chip.
We'll put you right on stage.
Really? We will.
Ain't that right, U.
J.
? Uh, we believe in your clowning.
You're-you're family.
Well, I'm hearing some interesting things from Uncle Jim and Dale, Mom.
Well, I'm not getting into a bidding war over my own son.
Fine.
Bring the that.
Thank you.
Why don't you just sell me the rodeo, Christine? I mean, you even said, you know, it was never a business decision.
Why are you really interested in the rodeo? It's emotional with you, isn't it? You don't care about the business.
You're trying to buy the rodeo from your sister because you're mad at your dead mother.
[CHUCKLES.]
I came here to fix this for you.
Emotion doesn't have a damn thing to do with it.
You know, I-I got to get out of here.
Anger's an emotion, Jim.
I know it is.
Don't you have a Quiznos convention to get to? JIM: There is no convention! I know! Oh, damn.
Hey, my car's behind you.
I got to move it.
- Hey.
- [CAR HORN HONKS.]
- Oh, go take care of that, please.
- Oh, go get him.
- Go, go, go, go, go.
Hurry.
Hurry.
- Quick.
Quick.
Don't dare take away - Everything that's good in my life - Every little thing Surprise! I'm the number one dad.
It's pointing towards me.
BOTH: Hi, Dad.
Get in the car.
I got a great day planned.
- Bill's about to be on TV.
- What? Did it start? - No.
- No, not yet.
- [NEWS PLAYING ON TV.]
- Come on, hurry.
Come on.
- Dale, good looking.
- Hi, Dale.
MAN [ON TV.]
: Danielle, what did you find over there? - [SARAH CHEERS.]
- Some call it Froyo.
Others call it frozen yogurt.
But however you refer to it, it will give you brain freeze.
And it's making a big splash here in Bakersfield.
I don't get it.
- So, tell us about this Frobot.
- [CHEERS, APPLAUSE.]
Where'd you get the idea? Well, it just came to me.
One night, I was like, "frozen" and "robot," let's just let's put 'em together.
DANIELLE: Well, everyone loves frozen yogurt.
At least I haven't met - anyone who doesn't.
- Oh, that's me.
Reporting live from Truxtun Plaza, I'm Danielle Mana.
- Back to you, Steve.
- Huh? [WHOOPS.]
- That's all right.
- Good job.
Yeah, no, it was really good.
Well, uh, the reason I came over here, uh, th-this afternoon was, uh Congratulations on the yogurt, by the way, it's a great story.
Thank you, Dale.
But I came over here to, I don't know, hang out with the girls.
Girls, you want to go do something? Maybe, uh go hangout? - Sure.
- Want to do something like that? What'd you like to do? - Anything.
- BOTH: Shopping.
Sh Okay, shopping! Let's go on a shopping spree.
Big shopping spree.
All right.
Then I don't feel so bad about asking for the support check this month.
Well, why would you feel bad about that? 'Cause I love writing those.
Where's my checkbook? There it is, 'cause I always have it, 'cause I always have my checkbook, 'cause I'm always writing checks.
[DALE SIGHS.]
Okay, here you go.
Ladies, let's do it.
Let's go on a shopping spree, okay? - BILL: Have fun, be safe, okay? - Bye.
Love you.
BILL: Dale, watch those little angels, would you I will, Bill, thank you.
They're my angels.
- Bye, Bill.
- All right.
See you guys.
- Good job.
- Bye.
Well, you knew Dale had some resentments 'cause of the business, and it seems like maybe Chip has some resentments, too.
I do have some resentments.
I told her.
Yeah, he does have some resentments; he told me.
Well, I'm going out.
You need anything? How about a rodeo? That's what I got you.
Well, um, actually, it seems like maybe you have some resentments, too, Mrs.
Baskets.
Maybe I do.
When I start the clock, you've got two minutes.
To buy whatever we want? That's what a shopping spree is.
And buy something for Snoozy.
He's waiting in the car.
Okay, and go! - Dad! - We're not ready.
One minute, 58 seconds.
Capitalism run amok! DALE: Shopping spree coming through.
World's best dad! 30 seconds.
Stay cool.
That's plenty of time.
Keep going.
Grab those socks.
And time.
[REGISTER BEEPS.]
The charge didn't go through.
Oh, try it again.
That has a chip on it, also, so I don't know if it's a swiper, - or if you just do the chip.
- [REGISTER BEEPING.]
It didn't go through.
I-I'll chip it - this time, yeah, sure.
- Okay, give it a chip.
I don't know why they changed the system on us.
- I mean, the swipe seemed fine.
- Yeah.
There we go.
Did that go through? Dad, we can just put it back.
We can just put it back.
- [REGISTER BEEPS.]
- Nothing? - Nothing.
- We could ask Bill.
Um Mama bought some fireworks.
[MUTTERING.]
: Mama - My mom opened a rodeo.
[LAUGHS.]
- Oh.
And, uh, she-she's spending a lot of money - on shit we don't need.
- [CLEARS THROAT.]
- Oh, okay.
- Dad.
- I'm so sorry.
- That's okay.
I have to suck it up.
If you'll just put these on hold, because my mom, again, has bought a rodeo and has left me with nothing but freaking firework [WINCES, SIGHS.]
- Okay, so we're gonna go.
- Yeah.
We're gonna leave, okay? - So you can just work out your issues.
- Where's the food court? - And - Go to the food court.
The food court is not the answer to all your problems! [GROANS.]
[QUIETLY.]
: My back, my back, my back.
- Are-are you okay? - It smarts a little bit.
It does smart.
S S - Sir, are you okay? - Ow! Well you ruined my date with my daughters.
What are you talking about? Do you have my money? What are you Sit down.
I made some fudge.
I don't want any fudge, Mother.
Dale, this has walnuts in it.
I don't want walnutted fudge.
Have a piece of fudge.
I don't want any fudge! Period! Stop this-this crap about the fudge! Well, I guess you don't.
Where are the girls? They like fudge.
Mom, will you please stop talking about fudge? Yes.
Well, where are the girls? The girls are at home because I did not want I did not want them to see their grandmother getting sued.
You can't be serious.
Yep, I'm suing you, Mom, for, you know, my-my money and my back and the, uh, deterioration of the relationship between me and my daughters.
What are you looking for? I'm looking for an "A" or an "L".
I don't know.
Attorney or lawyer.
Oh my neck.
It's crept up my neck now.
[SIGHS.]
Fine.
Take the rodeo.
Well, it's about time, Mother.
But if you think I'm not gonna sue you, Mom, you're dead wrong.
[LINE RINGING.]
Yes, hello, my name is Dale Baskets.
I'd like to sue someone, please.
Yes, I can hold.
[BIRDS CHIRPING.]
Chip.
- Chip? - Hey, Mom, what's up? Um, must be coming down with something.
I feel weak as a kitten.
Oh, yeah? Well, you want me to get you something? I think I'm just a little down in the dumps, really.
If you could just help-help me get up and push me towards the bathroom until I get my motor revving.
And then I head over to the church and do the collection plate.
- They're counting on me.
- Mom, Mom, okay, all right.
Listen, just relax.
Relax, okay? - Oh - Just relax.
Oh I'll do it.
I'll-I'll go work the collection plate.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
I mean, it's Sunday morning.
What am I gonna do? Watch cartoons all day? Were you watching cartoons today? Chip, you should have had my back with Jim and Dale.
[ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING.]
Oh, Chip.
We haven't seen you in church in a long time.
- Yeah, it's-it's nice to be back.
- Yeah.
It hasn't changed much since the '80s.
[CHUCKLES.]
Where's Christine? Um, she's, uh she's not feeling well right now.
- Oh.
- Nothing serious, I hope.
No, she's I mean, she's just, um she's just not feeling well.
She's laid up.
Well, you know what they say.
When Christine flakes, the world scrambles.
Is that a real expression? I'm sorry she made you have this conversation with us, Chip.
Tell her that Joan understands.
I hope she feels better.
[CHUCKLES.]
Ladies.
- Oh.
- I'm so sorry.
[LAUGHS.]
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
MINISTER: The same promises he makes to us, his people.
For heaven's sake.
Okay, who gave me the, uh, ten? - What are you doing? - I did.
I'm refunding your money.
- What do you mean? - What? - Pass that down.
- It's for the church.
Yeah, it's no good here.
They don't want it.
- Pass that down.
- Oh, for heaven's sakes.
Don't talk about my mom behind her back.
Then she should have the guts to show her face here.
[MINISTER SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY.]
FEMALE SINGER: Alive, alive CHOIR: You make me feel alive Survive, survive Your love helped me survive - And I'll thrive - I'll thrive - I'll thrive - I'll thrive With you as my captain I'll thrive, I'll thrive With you as my friend Alive, alive You make me feel alive Survive, oh, survive.
BASKETS: This is Sleepy.
- He's a sign spinner.
- What?! Mom has me, uh, working front of house.
Face it you got demoted.
MRS.
BASKETS: We need a big finale.
Fireworks are always a crowd-pleaser.
I'll buy two on my personal credit card.
Two! - Mother! - [FIREWORKS POPPING.]
[SQUEALING, EXPLOSION.]
Oh? [SCREAMING.]
[ORGAN PLAYS UPBEAT HYMN.]
[WOMEN LAUGHING AND MURMURING.]
Shh, shh.
Oh, my God.
Oh, hi.
I love this hymn.
- I know.
- It's horrible! - I had to throw my dress away! - It was a shame.
And I'm still picking lobster out of my hair.
- I bet.
I know.
- [LAUGHTER.]
Hi, girls! Happy Sunday! - Oh, hi.
- Christine.
- I'm so sorry I was in your seat before.
- Oh.
I would have moved for you, Christine.
- During the service?! - Sure.
- At my church? - Oh.
It is my church, you know.
I'd love to do the collection plate next week.
Hey, did you all enjoy yourselves at the opera night? It was glorious! I mean, the music and the fireworks - and your smiling face.
- Oh.
MAGGIE: Well, you know who wasn't smiling? My dry cleaner.
You'd think he'd never seen a fire extinguisher stain before.
[LAUGHTER.]
Uh-huh.
Well, I'll fix that.
I'll get you a steamer cleaner from the SkyMall.
- Oh, for heaven's sakes.
- Oh.
- Don't even think about it.
- Don't worry about it.
- We love you, darling.
- We're gonna see you real soon, Christine.
Sweetheart, I'll call you.
Bye-bye, honey.
I would love to hear your side.
JIM: Christine's opera night put you in the hole $50,000, and ticket sales are doing nothing.
Uh-huh.
[GROWLS.]
I think my mom has lost her mind, Uncle Jim.
She's gonna blow through my inheritance - before she's even dead.
- Well, that is my mother's fault.
I don't know what she was thinking, leaving Christine a lump sum.
She doesn't know the first thing about business.
Yeah, but I do! That's my point! [QUIETER.]
: I-I mean, I do.
And I've tried to warn her, but, no, no, she won't listen.
She's gonna drag the whole family down with her.
Now, you were right calling me down here.
[WHISPERING.]
: I should have never fronted Mama the money for those fireworks.
My back! Oh! Now, you know, that is all in your head.
What is? - Hmm.
- MRS.
BASKETS: Hey.
We having a meeting without me? Hi.
[LAUGHING.]
: Well, hello to you, too, sister.
- [LAUGHING.]
- How are you? I didn't know you were in town.
- Yeah.
- How have you been? Good, good, good.
I just, uh, thought I'd swing by on my way to a Quiznos convention.
- Oh, good.
- [LAUGHING.]
I just came in to get my Costco card.
You sure Dale didn't invite you? Oh, now I need an invitation? No, but it would be nice to know when you're coming.
You're family, you know.
- We were having some doughnuts.
- Well, that's good.
Why don't you come over at 4:00, and I'll make hamburger pizza? - JIM: My favorite! - [PHONE BUZZING, RINGTONE PLAYING.]
It's a date, then.
Come over at 4:00.
Walk me out.
I got a million things to do.
- DALE: Hey, sweetie.
- Well, it's so nice to see you.
Well, I can't pick you up right now.
It's the middle of the afternoon.
I'm at work.
What do you mean, "Bill can do it"? Who's Bill? You got it all figured out, don't you, Sleepy? Oh, God.
Chip, did you know that Jim was here? Yes, he and, uh, Dale went into your office.
Why didn't you stop 'em? Was I supposed to do that? I'm front of house.
I stay in my own lane.
I thought maybe you empowered him like you did Sleepy.
- [SIGHS.]
- [SCOFFS.]
Chip, did you know that Nicole is dating some buy named Bill? Yeah, the guy from the new Froyo place? Yeah, I'd heard something about that.
Everybody knows but me! And guess who I heard it from.
My daughter.
You didn't expect me to tell you about it, right? I'm not gonna insert myself into that situation? It's a situation?! Oh, my God.
DANIEL: Give us a note, watch me for the tempo.
- [PIANO PLAYS NOTES.]
- Bring it out more, right? Bring it out more.
You guys come in and start with you.
- And one, ah, ah, ah.
- [SINGING.]
- No-no-no-no-no.
Sing.
Fill - Daniel? Fill the Oh, hey.
Hi! - Sorry to bother you.
- No.
- Sorry to interrupt.
I'm sorry.
- No, no.
No, no, no.
I'm trying to get these kids just to be a little less dependent on me.
Keep going, guys! You can do it without me.
- What's going on? - Uh oh, it's a mess.
Um, I need some tips on running a family business.
My son brought my brother in who owns a couple of, uh, Quiznos franchises, - and now - A few Quiznos? I mean, maybe he knows something - about the business.
- Uh - Well, maybe it is all my pride.
- [SINGING IN HARMONY.]
It is only a rodeo, after all, but Is that a song I would know? That hymn it sounded so Oh, this is a new song.
See, they-they write all their own material.
Some of these kids are super, super talented.
Not not that one or that one, but but the ones on the outside of the piano They-they're pretty good.
[LAUGHS.]
Just kidding.
Oh.
Wait, wait, wait.
Oh, I got Mm.
Okay.
So, these are, um, hymn templates, and you just The next time you're tossing and turning at night, you have an idea, and you think, "Hey, that would make a good hymn," jot it down.
Christine, I can't wait to see what comes out of your mind.
Oh, thank you.
I feel much better.
Thank you so much for talking to me.
- I should let you get back to the - Okay.
- Door's open any time.
Any time.
- Oh, you're a lifesaver.
- And, hey - The whole thing Beautiful, though.
- Thank you.
Thanks.
- [WHISPERS.]
: But thank you for this.
All right.
Door's always open, okay? - Always open.
- Okay.
MRS.
BASKETS: Just how you like it, Jim, on the rocks.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Chip? You've been losing weight, Christine? Well, maybe from all the running around at work.
[LAUGHING.]
: Who knows? [LAUGHING.]
: Like a chicken with your head cut off? More like a bull in a China shop.
[LAUGHING.]
: Or a bull at the rodeo.
- [SIGHS.]
- Well, don't have a cow.
Geez.
I really have to make this rodeo thing work, Jim.
I'm here for you, sis.
You just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
If you get overwhelmed, you're no use to anybody.
- Know what I mean? - Hmm.
Uh, isn't that right, Chip? Yeah.
Wait.
What am I agreeing to? Well, your uncle thinks that I'm too emotional when it comes to business, and, um, he's got a lot more experience, and he's giving me some sage advice.
So, I'm all ears, Jim.
I can help you out best I can, you know, with my experience.
I'm a college graduate.
Didn't you go to DeVry? - It's a college.
- It's accredited.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
FEMALE VOICE: Welcome to Frobot, the yogurt of the future.
I am a robot ready to serve up - some delicious frozen yogurt.
- Hey.
Huh? Come on up.
FEMALE VOICE: Tap for flavors, tap for toppings.
Can your dad give us extra toppings? That is not her dad.
I am her dad, okay? - What are you doing here? - He is not.
I thought you couldn't give me a ride.
Well, I came to buy you and your friend Whose name I can't remember Some extra toppings for your frogurt.
Is it Denise? - No.
It's Hannah.
- Hannah.
Hannah.
- You have a friend named Denise, though.
- You must be Dale.
Must I be, then? Must I be? - Ah.
- [LAUGHING.]
: Yeah, okay.
I really - don't do that MTV stuff.
- Okay, okay.
- Bill.
- Hey, Bill.
How are you? - Great.
- I wanted to let you know that I gave birth to her, and we have a lot of diabetes in the family, and I don't need any more sugar freaks.
I just want to make sure that the sugar content in the Frobot, uh, is not too high, 'cause I don't want to put her at an early grave.
Yogurt.
Not too much sugar, but, uh, sorry.
Didn't know.
How would you? You barely know her.
- Well, damage is done.
- DANIELLE: Bill? - We're ready to shoot.
- Oh.
Yeah, uh, I'm gonna go be on the news, so, uh, excuse me.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
Anybody can be on television.
All you have to do is rob a bank or kick a dog.
Nice to meet you.
Hey.
How you doing? [SIGHS.]
- Oh, you don't have to do that, Jim.
- No, I love it.
- Here, will you take that? - Yeah.
Oh, well, I'm gonna finish this dessert.
You know, when I bought my first franchise, I washed every dish.
Opened every morning, closed every night.
Takes over your life.
[CHUCKLES.]
That's why you got to love it.
You love the rodeo, Christine? Do I love the rodeo? Hmm.
Well - Do you love Quiznos? - Quiznos? Yeah.
[LAUGHING.]
: Hell yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I never thought I'd end up owning a rodeo.
[LAUGHING.]
: Who does? Right, Chip? I'm just happy to do whatever you you need me to do.
Are you, Chip? 'Cause I bought it for the family.
And if I'm doing it for you and you're doing it for me, then Well, then, what are we doing here? I mean, I can give you the best advice for business in the whole world, but, uh, if you fundamentally don't want to be in the business Oh.
Maybe I should let it go.
Well, give Dale a shot.
He's got a good head on his shoulders.
I'd be willing - to bet on him myself.
- [DOOR OPENS.]
Did you tell her yet, Uncle Jim? Tell me what? Well, Uncle Jim's gonna help me buy back the rodeo.
You know, since you messed up, I'm in, you're out.
What? And here I thought we were just, you know, brother and sister.
Talking about our dilemmas.
We were.
We are.
Dale was just, uh, getting a little, little bit ahead of himself.
DALE: No, I'm not.
I fronted you money for fireworks, and now my kids are hanging out with some guy named Bill who kind of buys them off with yogurt toppings! You can't count the one time you lent me money against all the times I wiped your butt and fed you boys.
- [TOILET FLUSHES.]
- Taught you the ABCs.
What about my sweat equity? "Sweat equity"? Someone's been watching Suze Orman.
DALE: Well, what a what a What about the sweat equity I put in with my kids? If that's legal tender here in the town of Bakersfield, then, uh, maybe I can use it for-for child support when I pick up my girls on Saturday.
My my back's hurting.
It hurts.
I'm stressed.
What do you think, Chip? Should I let Dale run the business now? CHIP: Mother, I'm trying to urinate.
[TOILET FLUSHES.]
So, all of a sudden my opinion counts, huh? I thought I was just, you know, - front of house.
- Don't say "front of house.
" If you have a new routine, I'd love to see it.
My door's always open to you.
Oh, great, so I get to audition for you anytime? Wonderful career news, Mom.
That's sarcasm, by the way.
I think I know that.
DALE: Hey, Chip.
We'll put you right on stage.
Really? We will.
Ain't that right, U.
J.
? Uh, we believe in your clowning.
You're-you're family.
Well, I'm hearing some interesting things from Uncle Jim and Dale, Mom.
Well, I'm not getting into a bidding war over my own son.
Fine.
Bring the that.
Thank you.
Why don't you just sell me the rodeo, Christine? I mean, you even said, you know, it was never a business decision.
Why are you really interested in the rodeo? It's emotional with you, isn't it? You don't care about the business.
You're trying to buy the rodeo from your sister because you're mad at your dead mother.
[CHUCKLES.]
I came here to fix this for you.
Emotion doesn't have a damn thing to do with it.
You know, I-I got to get out of here.
Anger's an emotion, Jim.
I know it is.
Don't you have a Quiznos convention to get to? JIM: There is no convention! I know! Oh, damn.
Hey, my car's behind you.
I got to move it.
- Hey.
- [CAR HORN HONKS.]
- Oh, go take care of that, please.
- Oh, go get him.
- Go, go, go, go, go.
Hurry.
Hurry.
- Quick.
Quick.
Don't dare take away - Everything that's good in my life - Every little thing Surprise! I'm the number one dad.
It's pointing towards me.
BOTH: Hi, Dad.
Get in the car.
I got a great day planned.
- Bill's about to be on TV.
- What? Did it start? - No.
- No, not yet.
- [NEWS PLAYING ON TV.]
- Come on, hurry.
Come on.
- Dale, good looking.
- Hi, Dale.
MAN [ON TV.]
: Danielle, what did you find over there? - [SARAH CHEERS.]
- Some call it Froyo.
Others call it frozen yogurt.
But however you refer to it, it will give you brain freeze.
And it's making a big splash here in Bakersfield.
I don't get it.
- So, tell us about this Frobot.
- [CHEERS, APPLAUSE.]
Where'd you get the idea? Well, it just came to me.
One night, I was like, "frozen" and "robot," let's just let's put 'em together.
DANIELLE: Well, everyone loves frozen yogurt.
At least I haven't met - anyone who doesn't.
- Oh, that's me.
Reporting live from Truxtun Plaza, I'm Danielle Mana.
- Back to you, Steve.
- Huh? [WHOOPS.]
- That's all right.
- Good job.
Yeah, no, it was really good.
Well, uh, the reason I came over here, uh, th-this afternoon was, uh Congratulations on the yogurt, by the way, it's a great story.
Thank you, Dale.
But I came over here to, I don't know, hang out with the girls.
Girls, you want to go do something? Maybe, uh go hangout? - Sure.
- Want to do something like that? What'd you like to do? - Anything.
- BOTH: Shopping.
Sh Okay, shopping! Let's go on a shopping spree.
Big shopping spree.
All right.
Then I don't feel so bad about asking for the support check this month.
Well, why would you feel bad about that? 'Cause I love writing those.
Where's my checkbook? There it is, 'cause I always have it, 'cause I always have my checkbook, 'cause I'm always writing checks.
[DALE SIGHS.]
Okay, here you go.
Ladies, let's do it.
Let's go on a shopping spree, okay? - BILL: Have fun, be safe, okay? - Bye.
Love you.
BILL: Dale, watch those little angels, would you I will, Bill, thank you.
They're my angels.
- Bye, Bill.
- All right.
See you guys.
- Good job.
- Bye.
Well, you knew Dale had some resentments 'cause of the business, and it seems like maybe Chip has some resentments, too.
I do have some resentments.
I told her.
Yeah, he does have some resentments; he told me.
Well, I'm going out.
You need anything? How about a rodeo? That's what I got you.
Well, um, actually, it seems like maybe you have some resentments, too, Mrs.
Baskets.
Maybe I do.
When I start the clock, you've got two minutes.
To buy whatever we want? That's what a shopping spree is.
And buy something for Snoozy.
He's waiting in the car.
Okay, and go! - Dad! - We're not ready.
One minute, 58 seconds.
Capitalism run amok! DALE: Shopping spree coming through.
World's best dad! 30 seconds.
Stay cool.
That's plenty of time.
Keep going.
Grab those socks.
And time.
[REGISTER BEEPS.]
The charge didn't go through.
Oh, try it again.
That has a chip on it, also, so I don't know if it's a swiper, - or if you just do the chip.
- [REGISTER BEEPING.]
It didn't go through.
I-I'll chip it - this time, yeah, sure.
- Okay, give it a chip.
I don't know why they changed the system on us.
- I mean, the swipe seemed fine.
- Yeah.
There we go.
Did that go through? Dad, we can just put it back.
We can just put it back.
- [REGISTER BEEPS.]
- Nothing? - Nothing.
- We could ask Bill.
Um Mama bought some fireworks.
[MUTTERING.]
: Mama - My mom opened a rodeo.
[LAUGHS.]
- Oh.
And, uh, she-she's spending a lot of money - on shit we don't need.
- [CLEARS THROAT.]
- Oh, okay.
- Dad.
- I'm so sorry.
- That's okay.
I have to suck it up.
If you'll just put these on hold, because my mom, again, has bought a rodeo and has left me with nothing but freaking firework [WINCES, SIGHS.]
- Okay, so we're gonna go.
- Yeah.
We're gonna leave, okay? - So you can just work out your issues.
- Where's the food court? - And - Go to the food court.
The food court is not the answer to all your problems! [GROANS.]
[QUIETLY.]
: My back, my back, my back.
- Are-are you okay? - It smarts a little bit.
It does smart.
S S - Sir, are you okay? - Ow! Well you ruined my date with my daughters.
What are you talking about? Do you have my money? What are you Sit down.
I made some fudge.
I don't want any fudge, Mother.
Dale, this has walnuts in it.
I don't want walnutted fudge.
Have a piece of fudge.
I don't want any fudge! Period! Stop this-this crap about the fudge! Well, I guess you don't.
Where are the girls? They like fudge.
Mom, will you please stop talking about fudge? Yes.
Well, where are the girls? The girls are at home because I did not want I did not want them to see their grandmother getting sued.
You can't be serious.
Yep, I'm suing you, Mom, for, you know, my-my money and my back and the, uh, deterioration of the relationship between me and my daughters.
What are you looking for? I'm looking for an "A" or an "L".
I don't know.
Attorney or lawyer.
Oh my neck.
It's crept up my neck now.
[SIGHS.]
Fine.
Take the rodeo.
Well, it's about time, Mother.
But if you think I'm not gonna sue you, Mom, you're dead wrong.
[LINE RINGING.]
Yes, hello, my name is Dale Baskets.
I'd like to sue someone, please.
Yes, I can hold.
[BIRDS CHIRPING.]
Chip.
- Chip? - Hey, Mom, what's up? Um, must be coming down with something.
I feel weak as a kitten.
Oh, yeah? Well, you want me to get you something? I think I'm just a little down in the dumps, really.
If you could just help-help me get up and push me towards the bathroom until I get my motor revving.
And then I head over to the church and do the collection plate.
- They're counting on me.
- Mom, Mom, okay, all right.
Listen, just relax.
Relax, okay? - Oh - Just relax.
Oh I'll do it.
I'll-I'll go work the collection plate.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
I mean, it's Sunday morning.
What am I gonna do? Watch cartoons all day? Were you watching cartoons today? Chip, you should have had my back with Jim and Dale.
[ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING.]
Oh, Chip.
We haven't seen you in church in a long time.
- Yeah, it's-it's nice to be back.
- Yeah.
It hasn't changed much since the '80s.
[CHUCKLES.]
Where's Christine? Um, she's, uh she's not feeling well right now.
- Oh.
- Nothing serious, I hope.
No, she's I mean, she's just, um she's just not feeling well.
She's laid up.
Well, you know what they say.
When Christine flakes, the world scrambles.
Is that a real expression? I'm sorry she made you have this conversation with us, Chip.
Tell her that Joan understands.
I hope she feels better.
[CHUCKLES.]
Ladies.
- Oh.
- I'm so sorry.
[LAUGHS.]
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
MINISTER: The same promises he makes to us, his people.
For heaven's sake.
Okay, who gave me the, uh, ten? - What are you doing? - I did.
I'm refunding your money.
- What do you mean? - What? - Pass that down.
- It's for the church.
Yeah, it's no good here.
They don't want it.
- Pass that down.
- Oh, for heaven's sakes.
Don't talk about my mom behind her back.
Then she should have the guts to show her face here.
[MINISTER SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY.]
FEMALE SINGER: Alive, alive CHOIR: You make me feel alive Survive, survive Your love helped me survive - And I'll thrive - I'll thrive - I'll thrive - I'll thrive With you as my captain I'll thrive, I'll thrive With you as my friend Alive, alive You make me feel alive Survive, oh, survive.