Courage the Cowardly Dog (1999) s03e02 Episode Script
Campsite of Terror-Record Deal
1 - (STATIC) - We interrupt this program to bring you Courage the Cowardly Dog show! - Starring Courage, the Cowardly Dog! - (COURAGE SCREAMS) Abandoned as a pup, he was found by Muriel, who lives in the middle of Nowhere with her husband Eustace Bagge.
- (EUSTACE GRUNTS) - But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere.
- It's up to Courage to save his new home.
- (SCREAMING) Stupid dog! You made me look bad! - (EUSTACE YELLS) - (COURAGE SCREAMS) (QUACKING) (MURIEL HUMMING) (STRAINING) (GRUNTS) (HUMMING) (LAUGHING ON TV) Get rich, real quick! I did it and so can you! All you have to do to learn the secret of my success is send me money! (LAUGHS) - Big deal.
- That's right.
It's as simple as that.
Get out your checkbook, credit card and wallet, and send them to me! (LAUGHS) (STRAINING) (GRUNTS) My, Courage, you're working like a dog! Have a drink of nice, cold lemonade before you faint.
Ooh! (GULPING) Ah! - (BELCHING) - Oh, my! Have a cupcake, Courage.
- Yay! - It'll keep up your energy.
(CHOMPING) Why don't I get a cupcake? (GULPS) (GIGGLES) Such a good, cupcake-loving dog.
(INDISTINCT WHISPERING) Stupid, no-sharing dog.
(GRUNTS) Stupid nature! (INDISTINCT WHISPERING) - (ROARING) - (SCREAMING) And that was the last sound Percival made before he was eaten alive by the haunted haggis.
(TEETH CHATTER) Would you like to hear another, Courage? (WHIMPERING) Good, this one's called, "The Haunted Tent.
" (EXCLAIMS) DI-LUNG: (ON TV) When I came to this country three weeks ago, I only had a nickel.
Now, I own three apartment buildings and a fleet of limousines.
(LAUGHING) Stupid millionaires.
Money just falls into their laps.
What's Huh? Oh! (CHUCKLES) Huh? (LAUGHS) Wha? (LAUGHS) No! MURIEL: The haunted tent grew tighter and tighter around the scared little Boy Scout, until he let out a horrible scream.
- (EUSTACE SCREAMING) - (WHIMPERING) Oh, my! Eustace? Eustace? - (OWL HOOTS) - (GASPS) (WHIMPERING) Eustace? Eustace? Eustace? Eustace? I wonder where that man went to.
- (OWL HOOTING) - (SCREAMS) Don't worry, Courage.
I'm sure Eustace just went for a walk.
I think we're just a little on edge.
Haunted haggis will do that to ya.
Oh! (WHIMPERING) Oh, look, Courage! Friends of the forest.
Have you seen my Eustace? (BOTH GROWLING) Oh, my! (GROWLING CONTINUES) (SCREAMING) (SCREAMING CONTINUES) (GROANING) (STRAINING) Oh, my! This is most uncomfortable.
Uncomfortable and unnecessary.
- And, in general, just plain - (ENGINE STARTING) Whoa! (BOTH CHUCKLING) MURIEL: Help! Help! Muriel! (SCREAMING) No! (SIGHS) (STRAINING) (GRUNTS) COURAGE: Muriel! Muriel! EUSTACE: Hey! Hey! Help me! Stupid dog! (GASPS) Stupid, stupid dog! Over here! Get me and me money down from here! (BOTH EXCLAIM) (WHIMPERING) Stupid, tree-slamming dog! (COURAGE WHIMPERING) Stop your playing, dog! (SCREAMING) (SCREAMING CONTINUES) (GRUNTS) (WHIMPERING) Ooh.
Stupid, tree-playing dog.
(GRUMBLING) These are the guys that did this to me! (BABBLING) Big deal.
(BABBLING) (LAUGHS) Stupid dog.
(IMITATING ENGINE ROARING) (BABBLING) (SCREAMING) They took me chair and TV! (BABBLING) I'm going hunting! (LAUGHS) (GRUNTS) (COURAGE SNIFFING) (EUSTACE GRUMBLING) Quit your sniffing and just follow the tire tracks, you stupid dog! (GUNFIRE) MURIEL: Oh, no! Not that! (SCREAMING) (COURAGE GASPS) They better not be messing up me chair! (SCREAMING) (SCREAMING CONTINUES ON TV) (GASPS) (GUNFIRE) That's horrible.
(ALL SCREAMING) Would you like some popcorn? Huh? Oh, Courage! There you are! (BOTH GROWLING) It's all right, little ones.
He's part of the family.
Come on, Courage.
Come and watch the movie with us.
It's a scary one, it is.
Uh-uh.
They're really very nice, Courage.
They just want a mother is all.
(GRUMBLING) That's right.
Plenty of room for everyone.
(BOTH GROWLING) (LAUGHING) That's right.
There's plenty of room for everyone.
Ah.
(RACCOONS LAUGH) (BOWL SHATTERING) I got 'em right where I want 'em.
Oh! A-ha! (LAUGHING) Eustace, what are you doing to those children? I'm gonna turn 'em in and get the reward! That's what they get for stealing me chair and me TV! Come back here with those sweet, misunderstood children! Blah, blah, blah! Courage, do something.
(GROANS) (RACCOONS WHIMPERING) Huh? Hey! Who took my dollar? Where's my dollar? BOOMING VOICE: Let those little raccoons go! Make me! (ROARING) Oh! (SCREAMING) (BOTH CHEERING) (THUDDING) (BOTH CHEERING) (CHATTERING EXCITEDLY) If those two little ones were worth that much, that big raccoon is gonna make me a fortune.
(ROARING) (BOTH GROWLING) (EUSTACE SCREAMING) Camping does such wonders for the spirit.
We must do it again soon.
(LAUGHS) I just wonder when Eustace will be coming home? (TV ANNOUNCER SPEAKING FRENCH) (GRUMBLES) (BOTH GROWL) (SIGHS) DI-LUNG: (ON TV) Get rich quick! Get rich real quick! (LAUGHING) I hate nature! (BOTH LAUGHING) (COUGHING) (COUGHING) I hate spring-cleaning.
(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) Velvet Vic.
Now, that's what I call music.
(COUGHING) Junk! Junk.
(GASPS) Big junk.
(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) - (RADIO CRACKLING) - Argh! (RADIO STATIC) I want to hear my Velvet Vic.
ANNOUNCER: on WDIO Radio.
(GROWLING) Here's one from Johnny and the Dildos.
Where's me Velvet Vic? Gimme me Velvet Vic! Stupid radio! I want me Velvet Ow! (TIRES SCREECHING) Oh! (CHUCKLES) What do you know? A Velvet Vic record! This is me lucky day! (LAUGHS) (MUSIC PLAYING) Huh? Ah! Now that's what I call music, dog! Yuck! Muriel! Come listen to my new Velvet Vic record! Be there in a blink.
Just cutting the crusts off these sandwiches.
Gotta find just the right spot.
Oh! (GASPS) (SCREAMING) Dragsville.
Huh? Stupid dog! Keep your record-stopping paws off me music! (BABBLING) (COURAGE SCREAMING) (GROANING) Oh, no! (MUSIC PLAYING) (SCREAMING) (PIANO PLAYING) What's Huh? Who the heck are you? Groovy-o, Daddy-o! Oh! It's Velvet Vic! Hey, Muriel! Lookie who's here! How lovely! How do you do, Mr.
Velvet? Swingin'.
Lovely.
Please help yourself to sandwiches.
I'll go get some tea.
The head cheese and onion are my favorites.
Dragsville.
Phew! Gotta hear that again.
(MUSIC PLAYING) No! You want the sweetbread stuffer, or can I have it? Come on, Pops.
Let's swing.
Ah, I don't swing.
I got a condition.
How's about it, Mama? You swing? Well, when I was a girl, I played a wee bit.
Move over! (PIANO PLAYING) Take it home, baby girl.
You're hot.
(SCREAMING) How's about it, Dads? Care to cut a slice of rug? I told you, I've got a Whoa! Whoa! (CRASHING) Groovy-o! (PIANO CONTINUES PLAYING) Oh! No! We won't be jamming to these old tunes anymore.
(GASPS) Ooh.
Swinging.
Gotta split, Pops.
I'm going on the road.
Hey, you make money on the road? Sacks, Daddy-o.
- (GRUNTS) - (GLASS SHATTERING) You're gonna need a road manager, ain't you? Groovy-o.
Let's book.
(CHUCKLING) (CHUCKLING CONTINUES) Muriel! (SIGHS) (DISTORTED MUSIC PLAYING) Oh, my! No! WOMAN: (OVER INTERCOM) Surgery, pick up line 22.
(BABBLING) Yes, yes.
The evil singer has trapped the round woman in this record.
What's up with that? But I will clone you another record, good as new.
(MACHINE WHIRRING) (MUSIC PLAYING) (GASPS) BOTH: Oh, my! No! BOTH: Oh! (GRUNTS) So, you don't want to check out the flip side? - (CROWD CHEERING) - (CAMERAS CLICKING) Junk! Get your junk! Fresh junk for sale! Get your ju (GASPING) Could it be? No.
Could he possibly have No.
Did I maybe (BABBLING) Leave me alone, you stupid dog.
Can't you see I'm busy getting rich? (SCREAMING) (GRUNTS) Hmm.
That wouldn't happen to be a Velvet Vic record, would it? (BABBLING) Help! Help! Help! To get Velvet Vic in, and the wife of the stupid one out, you have to play the record while he's performing the song.
(BABBLING) I'm afraid no magic can fix this.
(WHIMPERS) Go digital.
(COMPUTER READING) Modern music is bad for you.
(COMPUTER READING) Hand it over.
(WHIRRING) Yay! - (CROWD CHEERING) - (PIANO PLAYING) (CHUCKLING) (CROWD CHEERING) (MUSIC PLAYING) What? Muriel, get off of there, you stage hog! Hey, Mama! You're blowing my gig.
Well, I never! (GASPS) Dragsville.
Yes! - (PIANO PLAYING) - (CROWD CHEERING) (EXCLAIMS) This has got to be all your fault, stupid, music-hatin' dog! (GRUNTS) I'll take that.
- (GRUNTS) - And this.
Hey! That's mine! Licensing fee.
(SOBBING) - Swing! - (CROWD CHEERING) Oh.
(GIGGLES) (MAN YODELING ON RECORD) Isn't that nice? Eustace just loves his music.
(YODELING CONTINUES) Come on out! I know you're in there! Someone? Anyone? (GRUNTING) Who the heck are you? (SCREAMING) But I don't do no do-si-do! I got a condition! Oh! Whoa! Whoa! RADIO DJ: WDIO Radio.
(THEME SONG) EUSTACE: Stupid dog! English - SDH March 2017
- (EUSTACE GRUNTS) - But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere.
- It's up to Courage to save his new home.
- (SCREAMING) Stupid dog! You made me look bad! - (EUSTACE YELLS) - (COURAGE SCREAMS) (QUACKING) (MURIEL HUMMING) (STRAINING) (GRUNTS) (HUMMING) (LAUGHING ON TV) Get rich, real quick! I did it and so can you! All you have to do to learn the secret of my success is send me money! (LAUGHS) - Big deal.
- That's right.
It's as simple as that.
Get out your checkbook, credit card and wallet, and send them to me! (LAUGHS) (STRAINING) (GRUNTS) My, Courage, you're working like a dog! Have a drink of nice, cold lemonade before you faint.
Ooh! (GULPING) Ah! - (BELCHING) - Oh, my! Have a cupcake, Courage.
- Yay! - It'll keep up your energy.
(CHOMPING) Why don't I get a cupcake? (GULPS) (GIGGLES) Such a good, cupcake-loving dog.
(INDISTINCT WHISPERING) Stupid, no-sharing dog.
(GRUNTS) Stupid nature! (INDISTINCT WHISPERING) - (ROARING) - (SCREAMING) And that was the last sound Percival made before he was eaten alive by the haunted haggis.
(TEETH CHATTER) Would you like to hear another, Courage? (WHIMPERING) Good, this one's called, "The Haunted Tent.
" (EXCLAIMS) DI-LUNG: (ON TV) When I came to this country three weeks ago, I only had a nickel.
Now, I own three apartment buildings and a fleet of limousines.
(LAUGHING) Stupid millionaires.
Money just falls into their laps.
What's Huh? Oh! (CHUCKLES) Huh? (LAUGHS) Wha? (LAUGHS) No! MURIEL: The haunted tent grew tighter and tighter around the scared little Boy Scout, until he let out a horrible scream.
- (EUSTACE SCREAMING) - (WHIMPERING) Oh, my! Eustace? Eustace? - (OWL HOOTS) - (GASPS) (WHIMPERING) Eustace? Eustace? Eustace? Eustace? I wonder where that man went to.
- (OWL HOOTING) - (SCREAMS) Don't worry, Courage.
I'm sure Eustace just went for a walk.
I think we're just a little on edge.
Haunted haggis will do that to ya.
Oh! (WHIMPERING) Oh, look, Courage! Friends of the forest.
Have you seen my Eustace? (BOTH GROWLING) Oh, my! (GROWLING CONTINUES) (SCREAMING) (SCREAMING CONTINUES) (GROANING) (STRAINING) Oh, my! This is most uncomfortable.
Uncomfortable and unnecessary.
- And, in general, just plain - (ENGINE STARTING) Whoa! (BOTH CHUCKLING) MURIEL: Help! Help! Muriel! (SCREAMING) No! (SIGHS) (STRAINING) (GRUNTS) COURAGE: Muriel! Muriel! EUSTACE: Hey! Hey! Help me! Stupid dog! (GASPS) Stupid, stupid dog! Over here! Get me and me money down from here! (BOTH EXCLAIM) (WHIMPERING) Stupid, tree-slamming dog! (COURAGE WHIMPERING) Stop your playing, dog! (SCREAMING) (SCREAMING CONTINUES) (GRUNTS) (WHIMPERING) Ooh.
Stupid, tree-playing dog.
(GRUMBLING) These are the guys that did this to me! (BABBLING) Big deal.
(BABBLING) (LAUGHS) Stupid dog.
(IMITATING ENGINE ROARING) (BABBLING) (SCREAMING) They took me chair and TV! (BABBLING) I'm going hunting! (LAUGHS) (GRUNTS) (COURAGE SNIFFING) (EUSTACE GRUMBLING) Quit your sniffing and just follow the tire tracks, you stupid dog! (GUNFIRE) MURIEL: Oh, no! Not that! (SCREAMING) (COURAGE GASPS) They better not be messing up me chair! (SCREAMING) (SCREAMING CONTINUES ON TV) (GASPS) (GUNFIRE) That's horrible.
(ALL SCREAMING) Would you like some popcorn? Huh? Oh, Courage! There you are! (BOTH GROWLING) It's all right, little ones.
He's part of the family.
Come on, Courage.
Come and watch the movie with us.
It's a scary one, it is.
Uh-uh.
They're really very nice, Courage.
They just want a mother is all.
(GRUMBLING) That's right.
Plenty of room for everyone.
(BOTH GROWLING) (LAUGHING) That's right.
There's plenty of room for everyone.
Ah.
(RACCOONS LAUGH) (BOWL SHATTERING) I got 'em right where I want 'em.
Oh! A-ha! (LAUGHING) Eustace, what are you doing to those children? I'm gonna turn 'em in and get the reward! That's what they get for stealing me chair and me TV! Come back here with those sweet, misunderstood children! Blah, blah, blah! Courage, do something.
(GROANS) (RACCOONS WHIMPERING) Huh? Hey! Who took my dollar? Where's my dollar? BOOMING VOICE: Let those little raccoons go! Make me! (ROARING) Oh! (SCREAMING) (BOTH CHEERING) (THUDDING) (BOTH CHEERING) (CHATTERING EXCITEDLY) If those two little ones were worth that much, that big raccoon is gonna make me a fortune.
(ROARING) (BOTH GROWLING) (EUSTACE SCREAMING) Camping does such wonders for the spirit.
We must do it again soon.
(LAUGHS) I just wonder when Eustace will be coming home? (TV ANNOUNCER SPEAKING FRENCH) (GRUMBLES) (BOTH GROWL) (SIGHS) DI-LUNG: (ON TV) Get rich quick! Get rich real quick! (LAUGHING) I hate nature! (BOTH LAUGHING) (COUGHING) (COUGHING) I hate spring-cleaning.
(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) Velvet Vic.
Now, that's what I call music.
(COUGHING) Junk! Junk.
(GASPS) Big junk.
(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) - (RADIO CRACKLING) - Argh! (RADIO STATIC) I want to hear my Velvet Vic.
ANNOUNCER: on WDIO Radio.
(GROWLING) Here's one from Johnny and the Dildos.
Where's me Velvet Vic? Gimme me Velvet Vic! Stupid radio! I want me Velvet Ow! (TIRES SCREECHING) Oh! (CHUCKLES) What do you know? A Velvet Vic record! This is me lucky day! (LAUGHS) (MUSIC PLAYING) Huh? Ah! Now that's what I call music, dog! Yuck! Muriel! Come listen to my new Velvet Vic record! Be there in a blink.
Just cutting the crusts off these sandwiches.
Gotta find just the right spot.
Oh! (GASPS) (SCREAMING) Dragsville.
Huh? Stupid dog! Keep your record-stopping paws off me music! (BABBLING) (COURAGE SCREAMING) (GROANING) Oh, no! (MUSIC PLAYING) (SCREAMING) (PIANO PLAYING) What's Huh? Who the heck are you? Groovy-o, Daddy-o! Oh! It's Velvet Vic! Hey, Muriel! Lookie who's here! How lovely! How do you do, Mr.
Velvet? Swingin'.
Lovely.
Please help yourself to sandwiches.
I'll go get some tea.
The head cheese and onion are my favorites.
Dragsville.
Phew! Gotta hear that again.
(MUSIC PLAYING) No! You want the sweetbread stuffer, or can I have it? Come on, Pops.
Let's swing.
Ah, I don't swing.
I got a condition.
How's about it, Mama? You swing? Well, when I was a girl, I played a wee bit.
Move over! (PIANO PLAYING) Take it home, baby girl.
You're hot.
(SCREAMING) How's about it, Dads? Care to cut a slice of rug? I told you, I've got a Whoa! Whoa! (CRASHING) Groovy-o! (PIANO CONTINUES PLAYING) Oh! No! We won't be jamming to these old tunes anymore.
(GASPS) Ooh.
Swinging.
Gotta split, Pops.
I'm going on the road.
Hey, you make money on the road? Sacks, Daddy-o.
- (GRUNTS) - (GLASS SHATTERING) You're gonna need a road manager, ain't you? Groovy-o.
Let's book.
(CHUCKLING) (CHUCKLING CONTINUES) Muriel! (SIGHS) (DISTORTED MUSIC PLAYING) Oh, my! No! WOMAN: (OVER INTERCOM) Surgery, pick up line 22.
(BABBLING) Yes, yes.
The evil singer has trapped the round woman in this record.
What's up with that? But I will clone you another record, good as new.
(MACHINE WHIRRING) (MUSIC PLAYING) (GASPS) BOTH: Oh, my! No! BOTH: Oh! (GRUNTS) So, you don't want to check out the flip side? - (CROWD CHEERING) - (CAMERAS CLICKING) Junk! Get your junk! Fresh junk for sale! Get your ju (GASPING) Could it be? No.
Could he possibly have No.
Did I maybe (BABBLING) Leave me alone, you stupid dog.
Can't you see I'm busy getting rich? (SCREAMING) (GRUNTS) Hmm.
That wouldn't happen to be a Velvet Vic record, would it? (BABBLING) Help! Help! Help! To get Velvet Vic in, and the wife of the stupid one out, you have to play the record while he's performing the song.
(BABBLING) I'm afraid no magic can fix this.
(WHIMPERS) Go digital.
(COMPUTER READING) Modern music is bad for you.
(COMPUTER READING) Hand it over.
(WHIRRING) Yay! - (CROWD CHEERING) - (PIANO PLAYING) (CHUCKLING) (CROWD CHEERING) (MUSIC PLAYING) What? Muriel, get off of there, you stage hog! Hey, Mama! You're blowing my gig.
Well, I never! (GASPS) Dragsville.
Yes! - (PIANO PLAYING) - (CROWD CHEERING) (EXCLAIMS) This has got to be all your fault, stupid, music-hatin' dog! (GRUNTS) I'll take that.
- (GRUNTS) - And this.
Hey! That's mine! Licensing fee.
(SOBBING) - Swing! - (CROWD CHEERING) Oh.
(GIGGLES) (MAN YODELING ON RECORD) Isn't that nice? Eustace just loves his music.
(YODELING CONTINUES) Come on out! I know you're in there! Someone? Anyone? (GRUNTING) Who the heck are you? (SCREAMING) But I don't do no do-si-do! I got a condition! Oh! Whoa! Whoa! RADIO DJ: WDIO Radio.
(THEME SONG) EUSTACE: Stupid dog! English - SDH March 2017