CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Episode Scripts

N/A - You Kill Me

Ecklie's been on me to finish the monthly stats, so I need a list of all the Lab call-outs Dtc ooas y can.
llavy e end of shift tomorrow.
Thanks.
So, you've been pulling a lot of doubles this week.
Yeah, it's about all I do.
Have you been in touch with Sara? We've talked a little.
So where's she at? San Francisco.
Visiting her mother.
No, I mean-- that's nice.
No, but I meant where's she at emotionally? You know, with respect to the two of you.
I can't speak for her.
So speak for yourself.
I can't talk, I'm really busy.
So Archie's in the Garage, he's documenting evidence from a drug bust, he picks up a thing of coke, and then it blows up in his face? No.
He picks up a cellophane and duct-tape-wrapped kilo of coke, and the third one from the top of the stack blows up in his face.
Oh.
It's important to be specific.
Okay, well, this game is not as much fun as I thought it was going to be-- It's not a game, it's a thought experiment.
If you want to be a good criminalist-- I am a good criminalist.
If you want to be a better criminalist, then you have to learn to train to-- Learn to think like a criminal.
I know.
Look, I'm sure Grissom's told you well, maybe not you, but he's told me many times: that we speak for the dead.
Think of this exercise as a way for the dead to speak for themselves.
SIMMS: But that's not actually what this is-- HODGES: It's a chance for you to be a CSI.
The only thing you need to do is answer two simple questions.
Whodunit and how? ·­Ò룺 У Ô£º ʱ¼äÖ᣺°×»­ÓÎÏÀ ¡º·¸×ïÏÖ³¡µ÷²é¡» µÚ°Ë¼¾µÚ8¼¯ HODGES: After HazMat cleans up the scene the coroner does his thing No sign of sexual trauma.
SIMMS: What? HODGES: I believe he's legally required to check.
??? I can't believe Archie's gone.
He was too good for this world.
What? They would be very upset.
Can we at least stipulate that they heroically contain their bereavement? Yes, I suppose Archie could live with that.
So to speak.
Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
HODGES: What the CSIs realize is It's gotta be the dealer.
Yeah, he booby-trapped the stash so if the cops got the drugs Then they would get the boom along with it? Right? Am I right? G@u're wrong.
Just let me nish the setup, okay? Sorry.
HODGES: What the CSIs finally realize is SIMMS: They sorted everything already? That was quick.
HODGES: Can you just let me finish! According to this, into evidence just past midnight.
The explosion occurred about a half an hour later.
But there are 21 wrappers here.
And since no one entered or exited the Lab during that time frame, it means the explosive was planted in the suitcase here.
Which means The killer is someone in the Lab.
Well, if the killer is someone who works in the Lab, then he could just tamper with the evidence.
Which means that there's really no way for me to solve this thing, this a trick question.
No, no, no, that's not what I want My shoelace is untied.
Excuse me.
Okay.
Okay, um wouldn't, how about this.
Since it would be pretty risky for the killer to tamper with evidence during a full-on investigation in the Lab Mm-hmm.
let's just say, for the purposes of this exercise, that can't happen.
Okay.
Now what? That's up to you.
You have the setup.
You run the investigation from here.
Simple Q & A.
You ask, I answer.
Truthfully? Absolutely.
No lying-- call that a rule.
Well, what if I get close to actually figuring it out, you're not just gonna change who did it or something like that? No revisionism-- also a rule.
For something that's not a game it sure does have a lot of rules.
You want to do this or not? All right.
Okay.
I guess the first thing that I would do would be to examine the actual bomb mechanism to see if there's any clue as to who might have built it.
Good idea.
Because there are a lot of clues.
Chemicals have been sent to Trace for I.
D.
, but the bomb appears to be a binary explosive.
Killer hides the loaded brick amongst the others A little pressure arms it Liquid "A" in ampoule mixes solid "B", creating an unstable chemical explosive all you need to do is move it.
Ooh, I have an idea.
HODGES: What? SIMMS: What about the blasting cap? HODGES: Ah, well, what do you know? The leg wires are color coded.
SIMMS: Good, 'cause the color coding is manufacturer specific.
So now we can track down the source.
Indeed we could.
Hey, people.
What's going on? Nothing.
You look better.
Let's say you learn that LVPD recently seized one dozen commercial grade blasting caps in an arson-explosives raid, and that the Lab was processing the case evidence.
Well, then, I know exactly where I'd go next 'Course I know where those blasting caps are.
They're right in here.
SIMMS: No, no, no, no, no.
Not so fast, cowboy.
Give me those keys.
Looks like you're one blasting cap shy, Bob.
That's not possible.
Wait Y'all don't think I had something to do with Are there any prints on the lock? Excuse me, we're-- Playing a murder game.
I know, I get it.
I wanna play.
He says it's not a game.
Well, I wanna play anyway.
No.
Why not? You're the dead guy.
Oh.
Well, then I'd have a vested interest in the outcome then, wouldn't I? Oh, come on, I'll fill him in as we go along.
Fine.
Yup.
So.
Are there any prints on the lock? HODGES: No, no prints.
??? Looks like this lock's been slipped.
So somebody stole thblolting cap from Ballists to make it look like Bobby did it.
Nefarious, don't you think? What about the chemicals that were used to make the explosive? Did we get anything back from Trace? T1 You always get something from Trace.
The explosive was liquid nitro-acetate and solid ammonium nitrate packed in baking soda.
To blend in with the rest of the cocaine bricks.
Cute.
Explosive liquids are generally pretty volatile.
Did you ask Hodges if nitro-acetate has any special storage requirements? HODGES: It needs to be refrigerated.
Yeah, he said it needed to be refrigerated.
NEll, there's only so many refrigerators in the Lab.
Maybe "where" can get us to "who".
I.
What are you guys looking for? I'm sorry, we can't tell you that, Henry.
Nitrogen tetra-hydride Sodium nitrate.
Wait, what happens when you mix those two compounds? They produce nitro-acetate.
That's a high explosive binary, Henry.
Really? I didn't know that.
Look, just 'cause I have those compounds in my fridge doesn't mean I used them to make nitro-acetate.
You can't prove that.
Baking soda was used to conceal the explosive, smartass.
It's also used to absorb odors.
Nice smell is a priority of my life.
I think the baking soda was used to absorb a lot more than odors, Henr Okay, I confess, I did it! Henry? Why would Henry kill me? We're not supposed to care about the why.
Whatever.
Hey, fellas.
Hey.
Thanks for giving me justice at least.
Yeah, you're welcome.
Man, I don't know if I'm more tired or hungry right now.
You wanna get something to eat? Yeah.
Actually, I felt like a little Pai Gow or some Blackjack.
Let's hit the Strip.
After the shift we just pulled? Yeah.
I just drank one of those energy drinks.
I probably w't sleep for another couple hours.
I don't think so, man.
Maybe another time, huh? All right.
I'll catch ya later.
All right, Grissom G That's it for me.
I'm out of here.
Yeah, I'm going over to Frank's to grab something to eat.
I'll probably be there for at least an hour if you want to if you want to join me.
You know, we don't have to talk about anything in particular.
Just two guys having breakfast.
I just don't think it's good for people to be alone too much.
If you want to, cool.
If not, cool.
Whatever.
Hi.
Rack 'em up.
Excuse me? Well, word on campus is, there's a murder game going on.
Oh, no, no, no, it's not a game.
It's a thought experiment.
Sounds like the late Archie Johnson has a big mouth.
Come on, please, it's been really slow at Prints all day.
Who we killin'? Henry, I need the tox on that lady, um Henry! No sign of sexual trauma.
Thank God for small favors.
You know, David, our job is never easy, but this is a colleague.
If your emotions are too raw and you feel you need to excuse yourself Look.
(crunching) He's crunchy.
Um (crunching) Frozen sweat stains.
Yuck.
He was trapped in a small space at minus ten degrees centigrade.
So it's fair to assume he was exerting himself in a state of mind-numbing terror.
How long do you think he was stuck in there? Well, several hours at least.
Time of exposure in extreme cold is difficult to gauge physiologically.
Why don't you let me know when he softens up and we'll start cutting.
So we're just going to wait for him to thaw? What do you want me to do, stick him in a microwave? Ooh Hot hot, hot, hot.
So, then, okay, Henry froze to death.
Well, maybe not.
Because if the autopsy hasn't been performed yet, then we can't be sure that's COD.
Well played, Simms.
So it takes a few turns for the autopsy results to get back.
Turns? Hours.
A few hours.
So, while you're waiting for the autopsy results, what do you do in the meantime? Well, the CSIs would process the freezer.
Did they find anything? A virtual cornucopia.
WILLOWS: The condition of the interior could be the result of a struggle, or the simple, understandable panic of a man trapped inside a freezer.
In any event, the emergency release handle appears to have been bent and rendered inoperative, and several chemical containers broken in the process possibly releasing chloroform and methyl ethyl ketone into the space.
I'm sending samples to Trace to confirm.
(laughs): Trace.
Is there anything you can't do? Hodges.
Sorry.
This could be a case of lab geek humor gone wrong.
Hello! Hello?! It's not funny! Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, help! Help me! (muffled): Please help! So the merry prankster comes back later, sees the joke gone bad, then he just yanks the pin and scrams.
You said that the emergency release plunger was bent.
Mm-hmm.
Well, that thing is made of solid steel.
How could Henry do that? Adrenaline kicks in when he finally realizes that he's dying.
So, maybe in the moment of crisis, Henry has the strength of ten men.
Ten small men.
"Maybe.
" That word always looks so good on a case report.
Was there any evidence on the handle on the outside of the freezer? Just a schmear.
Sugar, soy protein, partially hydrogenated vegetable oils, roasted nuts.
Peanut butter? WEBSTER: Well, killer's got to eat, too.
SIMMS: So, CSIs would check every trash can and every bio hazard disposal unit in the whole Lab.
HODGES: Yes, the would, and they would find What, no jelly? We found the peanut butter from inside your glove.
It matches the stuff we found on the freezer door handle.
Chunky, right? I didn't kill Henry.
Well, not on purpose.
No, not even by accident.
I only had a couple of minutes for lunch, and I had a bu that needed to be stored.
And I store them in the freezer.
You seem very tense.
You know, I don't really like being persecuted.
Yeah.
Get used to it, punk.
No, I don't know about that.
What? Well, Bobby's a gun guy.
Gun guys shoot people.
Gun guys don't shoot people.
People shoot people.
Actually, bullets shoot people, shot from guns which are usually in the hands of gun guys.
Can we get the autopsy results? Well, I guess Henry's had enough time to defrost.
COD was not, in fact, due to hypothermia.
Ooh, wait, no, I can guess what they found in Tox.
It was chloroform.
Nope.
Methyl ethyl ether? PCP.
What? Massive, overdose amounts of PCP.
Commonly known as phencyclidine, or angel dust.
PCP blocks the brain's NMDA receptors, hypothalamus goes nuts, resulting in anxiety, confusion, and fever-like overheating.
WEBSTER: So Henry goes into the cooler to cool off SIMMS: And with the PCP stimulating his adrenal glands, he has the strength of the Incredible Hulk.
ANDREWS: A duster? You made me a lousy duster? That is totally bogus.
Aside om the 10,000 other reasons why I'd be crazy to even try that junk, if I were a closet PCP freak, I wouldn't do it in the Lab.
That's very professional.
Archie told me about your sick little thought experimenxp and I want to play.
But I still can't believe, even hypothetically, you'd do something like this to me.
Well, Henry, I hypothetically called your mother and I explained everything.
That woman is a crier.
Your autopsy didn't mention powder in his nasal passages or PCP damage in his lungs.
That's because it wasn't there.
So Henry didn't inhale it, or smoke it, or snort it? No, he didn't.
Then how did the PCP get into my system? You tell me.
Oh! Crusty pits.
Sweat stains.
You said that Henry's lab coat had big sweat stains on the collar and on the armpits.
So that's it-- somebody dosed the coat.
Lab coat tests positive for PCP.
Combined with body heat and sweat, the dr must' Like a nicotine patch from hell.
Well, Henry would've died of an overdose no matter what.
So, all the trapping him in the freezer with the chemicals spilling, that was all completely incidental.
It was the logical outcome of the initial crime.
And it's quite funny.
Hey.
Well, we're not done yet.
Who did the deed? Well, taking lab coats off the premises is against regulations.
So the PCP would've had to have been applied in the Lab, right under our noses.
And that stuff reeks.
I have to crank my fume hood up full whenever I work with it, I still go home with a headache.
Fume hoods.
There's fume hoods in the Garage, and DNA and Trace.
So we would have to test all the sinks for PCP.
HODGES: Excellent.
That's a good approach.
??? HODGES: But you would find nothing.
SIMMS: Really? Yeah, there's no trace of PCP in any of sinks.
Squeaky clean.
Damn it.
Oh! Wait.
I got it, check the plant.
HODGES: You got it.
The killer cleaned up, but he left one witness.
Wendy.
Me? Oh, drat.
Well, it's not a slow day for me after all.
Ecklie wants me to pick up the backlog from Swing.
Somebody please tell me who dies next.
And how.
Thank you.
So You got time for one more? Well, someone's having fun.
Maybe a little.
You're not bad at this.
SIMMS: Thanks.
I've been thinking about taking the CSI field test.
This is actually really good theory and practice for me.
The fi Yeah.
What? Why? Nothing.
Nothing? That's right.
A great big pile of nothing.
From me, to you.
Oh, hey.
How are you? Why? I can't ask how you're doing? I'm sorry.
I've just had a lot of, uh I've been busy.
Oh.
Well, maybe you should take a few days off, for once in your career.
I mean, you've got enough stored up.
Go after her.
It's not what she wants.
What do you want? I want her to be happy.
Field Agent Simms.
Stop it.
Hey, I think it's got a nice ring to it.
Thank you.
Here she comes, flashing her badge, taking down perps.
Why is even potential advancement so threatening to you? Hey, S ders left the lab, he got his ass kicked.
I'm just saying.
All right, come on, let's do another one.
Okay.
Fine.
Let's.
SIMMS: Well, now, that's a little passive-aggressive, No kidding.
It appears as though the vic struck the edge of the table.
The evidence on the floor is well, evidence.
Brown paper bindle must have opened when it fell.
Looks like the contents of a woman's purse.
??? SIMMS: Square toe, low heel, stylish but affordable.
Flirty, not whory.
You will be missed.
There's an oily residue on the sole.
SANDERS: The evidence appears to lead to an inescapable conclusion.
This tragedy might have just simply been the result of an accident in the workplace.
SIMMS: I fell off a ladder? Well, you are kind of little clumsy.
Since when? It's endearing.
HODGES: Are you satisfied with the explanation? SIMMS: Uh, no.
What about the oily residue on the ladder? There are bristles in the oil, which means that somebody brushed it on.
ANDREWS: What exactly is the oily stuff? Well, thank God for trace analysis.
Hmm.
Hodges, who is a genius and tragically underpaid, used the powers of his brilliant mind and the scientific method to discover that the oil that was brushed on the ladder was a Teflon-based two-part oil.
A gun lubricant.
So? So you're the gun guy, Bobby.
Yeah, which is exactly why I would never use Teflon-based two-part oil.
Real gun guys hate that stuff.
If it separates in the can, it separates in the gun.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa.
You are tense.
So, where do you think you're going? Back to work.
This is ridiculous.
Oh.
Sit down.
No, no.
Captain Brass is not the kind of cop who smacks a suspect around.
Really? Scares me.
Oh, well, look who's the clumsy one now.
Excuse me.
Okay, so we don't have nearly enough to hold Bobby, right? No.
All right.
Who's up for an autopsy? ROBBINS: The carotid-jugular complex was transected, and based on the placement and size of the wound, I'd say she had at Hey, it's a neck wound.
Based on the placement and size of the neck wound, she was conscious 30 to 60 seconds before blood loss was fatal.
That's a long time.
No one reported her screaming or calling out for help.
We have to get back to the case file.
There was no blood on her hands at the scene.
Unless she was unconscious, she would have at least tried to stop the bleeding.
Well, there was no blow to the head.
Do you think it's possible she was dead before she hit the table? You mean like a cardiac event? I can't rule that out, but a healthy, 36-year-old having a heart attack? SIMMS: thank you very much.
She has a oval, perimortem burn on her wrist.
Wait a second.
That's familiar.
Singed right off her barely That bracelet wasn't old evidence.
I was wearing it.
Correct.
So, what melts silver and stops your heart at the same time? A bolt of lightning.
In the lab Electrocution.
From what? Something in the Evidence Locker.
SIMMS: There was a motorcycle battery in the ventilation duct? ANDREWS: Wired to the ladder and the evidence box? HODGES: Precisely.
Devilishly clever, wouldn't you say? No.
Well, who's the killer, Wile E.
Coyote? What do you mean? ANDREWS: It's ridiculous! Anyone could have walked in there.
So, what, the victim's just random? Uh, no.
How'd the killer get me up there in the first place? What did he do, pass me in the hall and say, "Hey, Wendy, go climb up that ladder "and check out the case evidence you had absolutely nothing to do with?" Not in those words exactly, but, uh, yeah.
That's completely unverifiable.
This is so lame.
Scenario requires further revision.
Okay, what is that? Nothing.
Is that a tape recorder? You are so paranoid.
This thought experiment has now concluded.
Thank you.
Why were you recording us? ??? Why would I record you? That makes no sense.
"Lab Rats.
" "The Game of Science and Murder.
" It's a prototype.
"Two to four players, ages eight and up.
" You're making a board game? Well, it's not just a board game.
Gets people to think.
Why were you recording us? I needed your help to flesh out scenarios, and I figured that if I hid the recorder, your answers would be candid and honest.
Look, see.
It's like Clue, only CSI-ier.
Hodges, this is, uh This is kind of impressive.
In a painfully sad, geek type of way.
Well, painfully sad geeks have a lot of spare time on their hands ??? Lab Rats could be a gold mine.
Oh! (laughs): Little Lab Techs.
Mm-hmm.
"Sandy Baxter, fingerprint fanatic.
" "Reggie Chang, eagled-eyed A/V expert.
" "Andrew Henries, top-notch tox tech.
" "Hodgkins.
" Hodgkins.
Mm-hmm.
You named yourself after cancer.
Oh! "Mindy Bimms, "the clumsy yet buxom DNA tech.
" Clumsy yet buxom? It's a redeeming feature.
It's-It's a prototype.
So, tell me, do you think that Mindy Bimms is clumsy because she's top-heavy? Or do you just mean clumsy like this? Okay, are you are you allergic to being honest with me? 'Cause the thing is, if you had actually asked me to help you with this game, I would have.
But, no, you had to hide a tape recorder under a table and engage us all in this great big thought experiment! When in reality, it doesn' even matter, apparently, what I think because I'm just Mindy Big Boobs to you, and I You are the dumbest smart guy I know.
You think I'm smart? Night, Greg.
Yeah, whatever.
HODGES (high-pitched voice): Oh, Hodges, I'm so sorry.
It's just that I'm jealous of your intellect.
But Wendy, you have so much to live for.
Don't do it.
You're too close to the edge.
Oh, and now I'm drowning! Oh, God! Oh, God, help me.
Help me.
What are you doing? Oh, uh I was, uh, just trying to develop a board game based on this place, but not in any legally actionable sense.
You get evidence, scenarios, analysis.
Try to solve diabolical murders.
I like games.
Really? Yeah.
Okay.
Let's play.
What makes it hard to catch a killer? Is it the sheer destructive power of the murder itself that obliterates evidence as it snuffs out life? Or is it the chain of events the murder sets into motion which obscure the true crime? That was good.
Or is it a mechanism so complexand diabolical that it borders on the incredible? In truth, it is all these things, and all these things are the same.
Because the only real way to catch a killer, is to outsmart him.
And hope that he's not smarter than you.
??? in front of your computer, and you take a bullet to the head.
No witnesses.
Nobody heard the shot, and the killer is somebody in the Lab.
Am I eligible? In this scenario, no.
Okay.
So during the basic process of the scene, what do I find? HODGES: A single nine millimeter casing at the doorway to Trace.
Then my first blush theory is a walk-by.
I'm going to need the bullet.
Then I'm going to need an autopsy.
Get it out of your system.
No sign of sexual trauma.
Out! Now All right, trajectory of the shot was roughly 90 degrees from vertical, straight through his noble skull.
Bullet didn't exit.
GRISSOM: Is it intact? More or less.
IBIS.
HODGES: The bullet's nose is significantly deformed and the lead base is pitted.
But there are sufficient striae to get a match for what little it's worth.
The gun came through the lab about a week ago in a buyback program, and was subsequently destroyed.
So you were shot by a weapon that no longer exists.
Apparently.
Okay, let's go over your snuff film, shall we? I want to see exactly what you did.
In truth, it is all of these things, and all of these things are the same.
Because the only real way to catch a killer, is to outsmart him and hope that he is not smarter than you.
Do it again.
Do it again.
One more time.
One more time.
Wait, wait, wait-- they all want to watch? Professional curiosity.
I guess.
(on monitor): In truth, it is all these things, and all these things are the same.
Because the only real way to catch a killer, is to outsmart him and hope that he is not smarter than you.
GRISSOM: You took the shot straight into your head, but according to the video, you were not facing the hallway.
Which means the bullet didn't come from there.
It must've come from here.
HODGES: Yes, it did.
A zip gun.
HODGES: With an unrifled barrel.
And a remote trigger.
What model year is the pager?ag Pre 1990.
So no call-back numbers.
Pre-1990 pagers didn't store them.
HODGES: So, you're at a dead end? I'm just getting started.
Do I have to walk over to the GCMS or will you just tell me? The barrel of the zip gun contains traces of black powder.
Okay, but the bullet was pitted on the base, which is the result of exposure to smokeless gunpowder.
Which means that the bullet that killed you was fired twice.
GRISSOM: The killer test fires the gun, knowing it will be destroyed,VK and keeps the bullet and the casing.
He puts the bullet in a metal tube on a wad of black powder.
With a pager trigger, it's essentially a remote controlled musket.
Call the number from any phone or through the internet and Impressive.
Can you tell me whodunit? Well, Bobby Dawson is an early firearm enthusiast.
??? Oh, yeah.
Big gun guy.
I didn't do it! ??? I swear! Hey! Gun.
What do you got against Bobby Dawson? Nothing.
Running gag.
So, you think Bobby Dawson did it? No.
Bobby was framed.
You drew me a map.
The path of the bullet, if not stopped by your brain mass, would have continued straight through into ballistics.
Where Bobby works.
Now, Bobby's a real gun guy, and no gun guy would ever position himself down-range of a shot.
You're more than a victim, Hodges.
According to your video, you straightened up just before the fatal shot was fired.
You knew it was coming.
And you made sure that you were in the perfect position to catch it.
I am a mere Padawan in the presence of the Jedi Master.
True.
Let's play another.
Sure.
You weren't ready.
To leave.
This.
The challenges, the puzzles, the job.
No.
But Sara was.
Yeah, she was.
You can't stand in the way of that.
When it's time for someone to move on, you just gotta let them go.
Let's play the game, shall we? Okay.
Mind if I record this? Scenario 12, Hodges and Grissom.
Okay, you walk into the AV lab.
You find Archie slumped over his computer with a knife in his head » Ó­¼ÓÈë