Dawn of the Croods (2015) Episode Scripts

FrEepy Friday

1 [giggling] [chuckling] [giggling] Shh.
Okay, now, all we do is push real hard, and the ramu [giggling] will tip over.
[laughing] Hey, Eep, how did you come up with something so pointless and stupid? These things just come to me.
Now push.
[screaming] - [Eep] Nailed it.
- [Lerk] Take that, ramu! - [laughing] - [groaning] - [both laughing] - Nice.
[Grug] Eep Crood, you are in big trouble.
- Oh, no.
The man! - [both yelping] - [grunting] - Sneaking out of the cave after dark on a school night! Oh, Eep, ramu-tipping is incredibly dangerous.
Bear owls hunt sleeping ramu.
But we were just having fun.
Fun? Who taught you that word? - [groaning] - [grumbling] [Lerk] This is a father-daughter talk, so I'll just see myself out.
- [grunting] - [grumbling] Young cave lady, you are grounded! But, but, but, but, but [groaning] There.
Don't make me take away your head privileges.
Dad! Bom-bom, bom-ba-dum Ma-ma-ma-bom-ba-dum Ba-da-dum This is so unfair.
You are the meanest father in the world! And I can't even reach my meat.
[groaning] Grug, can't we let her out yet? She's been in there all night.
I don't want the worms to get any ideas.
Yeah, and ground me next.
It looks so cozy, like being hugged by the dirt.
No, son.
You only get grounded when you do something reckless.
Ohhh! [groaning] I was not being reckless.
My friends and I had a really tough day at school.
Two students were eaten, and we had a test.
So I just needed to be a teen and cut loose.
Oh, here we go again with this "teens" nonsense.
Teenager is just a thing you kids invented to get out of adult responsibility.
Back in my day, there were no teens.
We just went straight from being babies to really short grown-ups.
It was hard, and we liked it that way.
Hey, Dad, I'm letting all the cold air in, bein' reckless.
Maybe you should, I don't know, do something about it.
Eh? Hard? Dad, you have no idea how hard it is to be a teen.
Oh, sure.
Sitting around, whining, talking back to my parents.
So hard.
Ha! I just used your own teenage sarcasm against you.
Whoops.
I just made a mess in the cave.
Gosh, when did I become such a bad boy? Guess I'll need to be punished, but how? Hmm? Dad, you wouldn't survive one day as a teenager.
- I would so.
- [cackles] Uh, no.
No way.
[chuckles] Uh, yeah.
See? I'm talking like a teen already.
Oh, yeah? Then I dare you to survive one day as a teen.
You're on.
I will show you.
I will be a teen for a day, and I'll show all you teens.
Let's go! - Uh, Dad? - Oh, right.
First I dig you out, then I show all of you.
Only thing you're gonna show 'em is what not to be when they grow up.
[cackling] [moaning] See, Mom? I told you something bad would happen if you didn't clean your teeth every moon, and now there's a giant black hole in your tooth.
Stay away from it.
That's where I store my eat-laters.
[moaning] [gulping] Grug, take Sandy to the sitter.
Gran and I are going to the Den of Teeth.
[sighing] And I'm gonna need you to gather water and dinner.
This is gonna take a while.
Got it, honey.
Sandy, water, food right after I prove my daughter wrong.
- [panting] - Thanks, Sandy.
There.
I'm grounded.
On second thought, this is terrible.
[sighing] This is what you get for being reckless, Thunk.
Hey, Eep, fun times ramu-tipping last night.
[giggling] Oh, and Lerk, way to survive.
Why, thank you.
I am hard to kill.
Hope you didn't get into too much trouble with your dad.
About my dad.
Funny story.
Hey, Eep's friends.
As you kids say, what's upwards? [chuckling] [groaning] He thinks being a teenager's easy, so I said he couldn't last one day being one.
Yeah.
I'm not walking with you.
I judge you to be uncool.
Uncool? Huh, how can you judge me? - You don't even know - Judged.
Sulk, you know what to do.
Uh, should I? He is a grown-up.
Not today.
Today, I am a teen.
Okay! [screams] [laughing] Good pelting.
A little sloppy on the technique, but Gotta hurry or we'll be marked late.
Unless you wanna back out of this now.
[chuckling] Yeah, right.
This is even easier than I thought.
[laughing] [Lerk chuckling] [Squawk] Parent? What are you doing here? - Well, I am here to show my daughter - I don't really care.
I do my best not to know anything about my students.
Now everyone take a seat.
Ooh, saved you a seat.
[chuckling] - [squeaking] - [laughing] [squeaking] - [squeaking] - [muttering] [snickering] A toot fruit? Really? Class, enough snickering at our new student.
Well, actually, let's snicker a bit more.
[snickering] Okay, that's enough.
And I am so glad that after yesterday's exciting hands-on bear owl lesson, so many of you could make it back to school today.
Um, will everyone who got mauled be okay? [chuckling] No.
Let's begin with a pop quiz.
Pick which berry isn't pure poison.
Any volunteers to go first? [all] Grug.
Pfft.
Fine.
This can't be too hard.
What was that rhyme? "If they're black, you don't snack.
If they're gray, eat away.
" So close, but it's actually, "If they're gray, you'll get violently ill today.
" Huh? That's not nearly as catchy.
[groaning] [laughing] It's not funny.
Stop laughing! [snickering] It was a trick question.
They're all poison.
[grunting] [screaming] You have nothing to be afraid of.
Of course I do.
My teeth are the last functional bits I have left.
If this guy takes my choppers, I got nothin'.
Ugga, if they take my teeth, they take my pride.
[straining] Mom, are you trying to make yourself cry? Aw, rats.
Even my eye water's busted.
[groaning] [screaming] And now, class, a real hunting lesson.
Yes, bonking! Now this will be easy.
No, no, no, you're teenagers.
I'm not trusting you with rocks.
We're playing "dodgefruit.
" Avoid getting hit by fruit, just like you'd avoid getting hit by a predator.
And go! But this isn't how hunting works! [grunting] Ow.
Oh, nice hit, Shouty! I channel my anger into sport! [groaning, grunting] Wait, wait, guys.
Come on, can't we talk about this? Put down the smash fruits, we can work something out.
Maybe that's how it works out on the hunting fields, but you're in our world now, punk! Get ready to taste our smash fruit.
Taste smash fruits? That I can do.
[chuckling] Take that! Delicious.
That all you got? That was easy.
What are you doing? I said dodge the fruit, not eat the fruit.
That was my lunch, my dinner, my late-night snack.
My late-late-night snack! Teacher Squawk really loves his snacks.
Uh, I'm sorry? Sorry? You should be sorry.
And now I'm emotional, and I can't even eat my feelings.
That's it.
You're going to Deep Trouble.
What? You can't do that.
Well, sure, I can.
I'm the adult.
You're the teenagers.
I can send him to Deep Trouble.
- Hey, why me? - And him.
I hate being used as an example.
And her.
One step ahead of you.
Basically, I can do anything I want, and you can't stop me.
But it's not fair.
Yep.
And now you're a teenager.
[screaming] [grunting] That feels like enough school for today.
Why should I be in Deep Trouble? He's the one who had the stupid idea for stupid dodgefruit.
[imitating] "I'm Teacher Squawk.
I don't get how hunting works.
- Go to Deep Trouble.
" - Hilarious! - That's so spot-on.
- [all laughing] That was That was so exactly like him.
How is this funny? We've been punished for no good reason.
Uh, if I'm laughing, it's funny.
Yeah.
I mean, if I didn't laugh, I'd cry.
[sniffling] A lot.
Like, almost all the time.
[cackling] Goofing off is the one consolation we have as teenagers staring into the void of our own insignificance.
Wow.
That was really wow.
Now pull my finger.
[farting] Don't feel bad, Dad.
Deep Trouble makes everyone wanna give up.
So we can end this now as soon as you admit You were right, Eep.
Being a teenager is hard.
You do deserve to cut loose.
Yes! You actually get it! Get it? I am living it.
- We should go have fun right now.
- Yeah! Wait.
We? Yeah.
You, me, and my guys.
You have guys? Oh, my guys.
Eep, your dad rocks.
He's like the master at pulling people's fingers.
- [farts] - [laughing] You know, Dad, I think I have made my point and you still have Dad chores to do, so you don't have to stick around.
Hey, who wants to do something dumb? Uh, Dad, I don't think my guys want to hang out with - Yes! Yes! - Yes, yes! - Dumbness rules.
- Yes! Yes! Uh, guys, that's still my dad.
You're hanging out with my dad.
He likes dad stuff, like walking around our cave in his underpelts.
[laughing] - Hilarious! - Oh, that's good.
[sighing] And being a teenager just got even harder.
Thanks, Dad.
You're welcome.
[cackling] [sighing] [wailing] Welcome to the Den of Teeth.
Get comfortable.
I'll be with you once I finish up with this poor guy.
[man howling] Why? Why? I don't think those are pain screams.
They sound surprised.
- [man] I am surprised.
- See? [man wailing] By all the pain! [straining] [cheering] Wait.
This is our house.
Ooh, we got us good! [cheering] Yes! - [groaning] - [guffawing] - [growling] - Easy, fellas.
Me and my bone just want directions to the watering hole.
[whimpering, panting] Is it this way? Or is it this way? [cheering] [Eep grunting] [gasping, yelling] This is so crazy.
[giggling] [shushing] Huh? - [yelping] - [roaring] Who did this? - It wasn't Eep! - [laughing] - [mooing] - [giggling] All right, what say we all find a buffalippo and go for a joy ride? Yeah! Or the four of us could go do something, and my dad could go home.
Go home, Dad.
Now.
Hey, I understand, Eep.
You do? I understand you wanna bail 'cause you're too scared to ride a buffalippo! Joyride, joyride.
[chanting] Joyride, joyride, joyride! [sighing] - Ahem! - Huh? Where are you going, Crood? You need to pick up your baby.
Do you think I have the time to sit around here all day? Well, yeah.
Isn't that your job? [groaning] - Dad, you forgot to pick up - Whoo-hoo! - Yeah, go for it! - [cheering] - [mooing] - Hang on, Grug! Dad, you gotta stop goofing off.
- [mooing] - [cheering] - [panting] - [Bulk] Hang on, Grug! [sighing] Okay, Sandy, I'll feed you.
- [mooing] - [cheering] - Whoo-hoo! - [mooing] Again! [cheering] [straining] [grunting] See? If you took care of your teeth like I do, then we wouldn't be here.
Hm - [cackling] - [screaming] A-ha! I found the troublemaker.
Ah, that wasn't so bad.
And now I got a new ring! See? Oh, oh, oh.
Your mouth doesn't look so good.
[cackling] What are you talking about? I chew my stick after every meal.
Yep, you've been taking too much care of your teeth.
You heard the man.
Now get in that chair so he can smash your face.
[gasping] Hm [cackling] [gasping] [panting] Sandy, no.
Ow! Ugh! - Great.
- [chikuna squawking] Now I need to go back and get more water.
Hey, Eep, think you can dig me out? There are a lot of worms in here.
No! I'm sick of doing everything around here.
I worked all day long to bring home dinner and take care of the baby and lug around a mouthful of water, all while you just sat around the cave.
- And you, stop running, young lady.
- [growling] Wow, Eep, you sound just like a parent.
I do not! And don't talk back to me, young man! [gasping] What have I become? [sighing] I gotta get our real dad back.
- Eep, before you go - [squawking] Well, at least I'm not alone right now.
Right, Sandy? - Ow! - [panting] [giggling] Grug Crood! Ooh.
Grug's in trouble.
I should be the one goofing off, not you.
[sighing] Wait, are you ramu-tipping? So what if we are? You told me that was too dangerous.
I'm a teenager.
I had a rough day.
Late to school, sent to Deep Trouble, got you breathing down my neck.
Don't you take that tone with me.
I deserve a break.
[gasping] Don't you take one more step closer to that ramu.
I'm warning you, if you so much as lay a finger Ooh.
I'm not touching it.
Whoa.
Whoa! Am I gonna touch it? I might touch it.
I am gonna touch it.
I just might - [back cracking] - [grunts] Uh-oh.
I think I just - [back cracking] - Yeah, yeah.
I definitely threw my back out.
[growling] That's a bear owl, isn't it? Okay, yes.
Hi.
Can I interest you in that sleeping ramu right over Well, I can't actually point at it right now, but I'm pretty sure you can see it.
That's it.
I'm out of the tipping game.
- Run! - Ah, don't you dare! It's time you teens learn responsibility.
But you're a teen, too.
I know.
It's been a weird day.
But we need to save my dad [shrieking] by being more reckless than ever! - [roaring] - [Sulk] Excuse me! Me and my tasty friend want directions to the watering hole.
- Is it this way - [growling] or is it this way? Eep, what are you doing? [gasping] [grunting] Eep? [panting] [whimpering] [grunting] [gasping] [grunting] [cheering] Yes! Wow.
Ramu-tipping is fun and educational.
- [back cracking] - It was fun hangin' out with you, Grug, until we remembered you were old and lame.
- See ya.
- [back cracking] Yeah, I'm done being a teen.
I goofed off too much.
You know what, Dad? I think I goofed off too much too.
Maybe we should both be grounded.
- [chuckling] - Yeah.
Dad! Hey, fair is fair.
It's not so bad.
I'm just glad to have company.
- [groaning] - No talkin'.
[growling] Whoo-oh-oh-oh Ba-dum-dum, ba-dum Whoo-oh, ba-dum-dum ba-dum Whoo-oh, ba-dum-dum Ba-dum-dum, ba-dum Whoo-oh-oh-oh Ba-dum-dum Ba-dum-dum, ba-dum