Dear White People (2017) s02e01 Episode Script

Chapter I

1 [STATELY MUSIC.]
I'm 100% done with you.
You're done? This was the moment? If that's sugar, hundo P.
You don't sugar your grits? No, I have working taste buds.
Wait, niggas are sugaring grits now? Refined cane.
What else? Um, butter, salt, the occasional shrimp [KELSEY.]
And brie! Ooh, and a little Gruyere.
Heaven! Salty grits are trash.
[SAM.]
Co, for once, we agree.
[COCO.]
I think this is actually the third time, but I co-sign the narrative.
[JOELLE.]
Look, y'all need to stop disrespecting grits like they're Cream of Wheat.
[LIONEL.]
I love Cream of Wheat.
[RASHID.]
People, we must not let our breakfast choices divide us.
[NARRATOR.]
Ah, Armstrong-Parker.
You may have noticed there's something different about Winchester's historically black residence hall.
Watch closely.
[STATELY MUSIC.]
1837.
Former slave quarters Armstrong Hall and Parker House combine to accommodate Winchester's influx of ethnic students, which, at the time, meant Irish and Italian.
They lived there until sometime after the 1920s, when they graduated to whiteness.
1965, Armstrong-Parker House becomes the residence of choice for a burgeoning community of black students, but not everyone approves, especially one Donald Hancock, a student who would become a wealthy benefactor of right-wing politicians and Winchester herself.
Two weeks ago, a protest, led by firebrand Samantha White, ends when Troy Fairbanks vandalizes Hancock Hall.
News of Troy's outburst spreads like wildfire, as did an actual fire, which coincidentally started at Davis House around the same time.
These events were assumed to be the result of rioting after the protest, because, you know, black people were involved.
February 1968, with violence in the South and Vietnam, Martin Luther King recants his "I Have A Dream" speech, calling it naive.
As Jimmy Baldwin said on one occasion, "What advantage is there in being integrated into a burning house?" [NARRATOR.]
Two weeks later, he's assassinated.
A week ago, as displaced residents of Davis House relocate to Armstrong-Parker, Dr.
King's words scrape at Sam's subconscious.
- Ugh.
- [REGGIE.]
Real talk.
I use agave in mine.
Lower glycemic index and shit.
[NARRATOR.]
Right now, Sam finds solace in a recent addition to A-P's breakfast menu.
It's the first time in a long time that she's felt at home.
[TRANQUIL PIANO MUSIC.]
[WILLIAM.]
First day of school.
You ready? [WARM ORCHESTRAL STRING MUSIC.]
[OPERA SINGING ON SPEAKER.]
Dear white people Dear white people, welcome to Armstrong-Parker.
When encountering new and exotic hairstyles, please keep your hands No more "don't touch my hair" quips, Jo.
It's hack.
Okay, well, how about switch on the mic and just talk? [JOELLE.]
Or maybe we could brainstorm to something a bit more up-tempo? [INCREASES VOLUME OF OPERA.]
Or just wallow in existential melancholy.
[JOELLE CLEARS THROAT.]
What, is someone being micro-aggressed somewhere? [LAUGHS.]
[UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC.]
When does the constant drone of flip-flops become background noise? My misophonia is triggered as fuck.
Oh, misophonia? She does braids out of Waller, right? Look at you, making jokes.
It's a hearing condition, and also a great name for an Outkast album.
[COCO.]
So shade came from reading.
Reading came first.
[JOELLE.]
At least someone's enjoying this.
Bet they think she's kin to Beyoncé.
- Hello, ladies.
- Hey, girl.
[JOELLE.]
Bet she never corrects them.
[RASHID.]
You are being paranoid, my friend.
Nah, man, it's a coup, trust me.
- Lionel.
.
- [SIGHS.]
You gotta follow these clues, man.
I know you see it, Sam.
See what? This ain't a coincidence.
Lionel does all this digging and finds out that these Hancock fuckers want to integrate A-P, and suddenly, there's a "fire" at "Davis House.
" That is not how air quotes work.
- Shut up.
- Do you think a bunch of rich donors had nothing better to do than set Davis House on fire just to [WHISPERED.]
integrate A-P? [AL.]
Man, you see it.
Is it just me, or are people staring at us? Yo, Sam, you gotta talk about this on Dear White People.
Or, you know, talk at all.
It's been a lot of strange tunes as of late.
Thank you for your feedback.
[WOMAN.]
Exhale Now we're going to move to triangle pose to warrior Joelle, why is spontaneous white yoga happening where our study group should be? A cultural import from Davis House.
Do you know what you look like? It's okay.
Let's just go to the courtyard.
Sam, you okay? Yeah, good.
I'll see you after.
[WOMAN.]
There you go.
We've been Divided by an ocean Had a hundred things in motion Said you barely recognize me Clap [GABE.]
God, I fucking missed you.
[SAM.]
Ditto.
No, I never meant to leave you I was busy but I Promise you the next time You won't feel like I forgot about you I know it's far but just remember I'll be back home in November I won't miss you Till I see the smoke Hey, girl! Whoa wow, wow.
[JOELLE.]
Wow, wow.
Bitch, am I supposed to think it was a ghost? Bitch, I thought you was in study group.
Bitch, that was an hour ago.
How are you not tired? [VIBRATING CONTINUES.]
You gonna get that? [JOELLE.]
Okay, I know you're not used to sharing a room, but either you start putting socks on the door, or lady-tickle yourself in the shower, like everybody else.
[SAM.]
We use a public shower.
People do that? You do that? I know you're not throwing stones from that glass house.
I'm barefoot in there.
[JOELLE.]
Sam, are you okay? You've been acting way more 13 Reasons Why than us'.
Proposal: We agree to never speak of this again and I'll stuff the memory deep into the recesses of my subconscious, where my brief but substantial B2K phase is.
[CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC.]
Wait, were you pre-bating? Uh, what? [JOELLE.]
You know, when you take care of yourself so you don't lose your mind in the company of problematic dick? I thought you were B2K-ing this.
[JO.]
And if I'm not mistaken, you have a certain film class coming up with a certain teacher's assistant.
Bitch, you was pre-bating.
Hey, you want to go for a a run? Like white girls in TV shows when they need a visually interesting way to deliver exposition? [LAUGHS.]
[JO.]
Real people can't run and talk at the same time.
Oh, my God, were you trying to shut me up? [JO.]
I thought our ancestors fought so we didn't have to run for our lives.
[SAM.]
Yeah, actually, it's hot as fuck.
[SAM.]
Oh, shit.
We'll do the, um [KELSEY.]
Hey, girls.
Still taking a break? Come on, we can do this! [KELSEY.]
No? No? [KELSEY.]
Oh, well, that's your thighs.
Hey, Reggie.
[SAM.]
Reggie.
Reginald Quevenzhane Green! We see you, negro.
[REGGIE.]
Hey, guys.
What are you doing? Jogging.
Uh, I got to run to class.
Not like y'all.
I know lululemons don't really flatter my body type.
[SAM.]
So Reggie thinks I'm total garbage.
Got it.
Is that why you're in the Sunken Place? [CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC.]
[JO.]
I didn't know it was this bad, Sam.
Uh, who are all these people? Something's changed.
[SAM.]
Logic, reason, discourse it's out the window now.
I was one of three protest leaders.
I wasn't the one who busted up a window Or dropped a bombshell about the Hancocks, and a fire! A fucking fire.
How do I even begin to respond to this shit? Sam, you started a conversation This isn't a conversation.
I've got a wall of vitriol at my back.
[SIGHS.]
And in front of me, I've got a fucking boy who makes me feel so many things at once, I can't make sense of anything.
Lionel.
What? [JOELLE CHUCKLES.]
Don't at me, but Lionel could get.
[JO.]
Strong, smart, affectionate [BOTH.]
Gotta be all for me And I'll be too you see Happily [LAUGHS.]
Pre-bating ass [QUIET PIANO MUSIC.]
Do you know there's a scientific debate raging over the color blue? Does it exist, or is the brain's best guess, identifying wave particles beyond its observational scope? Yes.
Wait, no.
Consciousness evolved with questions natural selection never designed it to answer, making truth just beyond man's Darwinian limits.
Um, are you giving me advice, or I've had to speed-read a lot of evolutionary psych.
I can't always control how and when the information's synthesized, - okay? - Copy that.
So the world isn't acting the way you thought it would.
But we don't see things the way they are.
We see them the way we are.
Fuck, I'm about to ace this exam! Yes! So I need to take back my narrative.
But how do you argue with nonsense? Sam, you are articulate to a fault, but real talk, who have you ever convinced out of their opinion? This conversation isn't about you or them.
It's about us.
To make sense out of the chaos, to give us a reason to keep persisting.
Thank you.
- Love you.
- Love you.
[PHONE CHIMES.]
All right, I gotta go.
[JO.]
Okay.
- See ya.
- Bye.
["CHANGES" BY DEJ LOAF PLAYING.]
And my old friends couldn't keep up I'm not throwing no shots But I'ma show you my guns I'ma take my chances I ain't biting my tongue I'ma screamin' to the top of my lungs If you ain't chasing your dreams What the fuck are you doing Old friends that turned into strangers I've been going through changes I've prayed to God and I made it Didn't you watch the assignment before class? Just reviewing.
It's becoming a pattern, Sam.
[GABE.]
You just, kind of, like, you know, make it.
[GABE.]
You got some sort of statement? [CLEARS THROAT.]
So, um [PROFESSOR LANG.]
Um, okay.
Let's go right into it.
Why We Fight.
[LANG.]
Impressions? I feel like I finally understand what it feels like to live through World War II, right? [WOMAN.]
And to think, it was documentary filmmakers who were on the front lines of discovering the atrocities of the Holocaust.
It made me proud to make this my vocation.
Well, let's be clear.
This wasn't a documentary in the modern sense.
It's propaganda.
I'm not so sure, right? I mean, yes, the filmmaker's intentions are clear, but the idea that this shouldn't be examined like any other modern documentary is misguided, right? I'm sorry.
Who are you? Jamila.
Transfer.
And every documentary presents facts in a way that proves the filmmaker's beliefs are true.
That's the nature of the medium, right? Can you stop saying "right" right before you've made your point? It's really confusing right? [LANG.]
A debate as old as the form.
Um, Sam, why don't you find a film you consider truly neutral to counter Jamila's argument? You could use the extra credit.
[STUDENT.]
Shade.
[P NINNY.]
Yo, when I found out that my man, Trill Stine, was hooking up with that ho ass Sylk Weavey, oh, I was pissed as fuck.
Sylky? Fuck you doing in my session? But this track right here is so lit, I might need to have that nigga's baby tonight.
As I've said many times before, I am not no lesbian.
[LAUGHTER.]
- You gonna beat my ass? - I'ma gonna beat your ass.
Bitch, don't make me grease yourself.
[LAUGHTER.]
[AL.]
This show is my shit, but this feels wrong.
I'm not one to judge, but I suspect P Ninny may in fact be a lesbian.
I will drink your bathwater.
I will eat some strawberries off the small of your back! [RASHID.]
You know, in Kenya, these shows were our only frame of reference for black Americans.
When I got here, I was terrified.
Terrified of black people, or that you'd be seen as one? Both.
This country is a mind fuck.
[P NINNY.]
Here's the deal.
Emmys, Grammys, Tonys, falling from the motherfucking sky.
EGOT status.
What up, Whoopi? [P NINNY.]
See, I don't need to beat this bitch's ass, but I'm about to.
I feel conflicted as fuck.
[LAUGHTER.]
[P NINNY.]
I'm laying down my next big single Just got off of the roll and the hottest hip-hop drama of all time.
[TV CONTINUES IN BACKGROUND.]
Hey, Reggie.
Look at this.
This shit is coming from students.
90% of these are bots.
What about that AltlvyW guy? Can't you figure out if he goes here? You always take the bait.
What's that supposed to mean? Hey.
Are we cool? - Mm-hmm.
- I need us to be cool.
- [MAN.]
Troy! - [TROY.]
Hey, what's up, man? [MAN.]
What's good, Troy? That's the guy that busted up Hancock.
[RASHID.]
Troy, my man.
You are back from university prison.
I had to pull a Shawshank, but your boy is free.
Wait, there's a university prison? Yeah.
It's like Oz, but with caviar instead of errant gay sex.
Seriously, though, where have you been? [REGGIE.]
Yo, you two get a room.
We already got one.
You jealous? Actually, yeah.
You know, they got all the rest of us negroes doubling up to make room for the white refugee crisis.
Hey.
[SAM.]
How are you? I'm okay.
And how are you? I heard you're still getting grief over my shit.
It's all good.
I got you.
Great.
'Cause it's the best thing I've ever done.
[ORCHESTRAL STRING MUSIC.]
[CELL PHONE CHIMES.]
["IN THE HALL OF THE MOUNTAIN KING" PLAYING.]
[LAPTOP CHIMES.]
[LAPTOP CHIMES.]
[CHUCKLES.]
[LAPTOP CHIMES.]
[LAPTOP BEEPS.]
[SIGHS.]
[LAPTOP BEEPS.]
[WARM TONE.]
Hey, Dad.
[SAM.]
Kind of busy.
Sam! Everything okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Everything's Everything's fine, Samwich.
Having you been making your doctor's appointments? [WILLIAM.]
Oh, yeah.
Mom won't let me forget those.
Hey, quick question.
Um [SAM'S PHONE CHIMES.]
How am I seeing you right now? - It's called FaceTime, dad.
- [WILLIAM.]
Ah.
I thought I was texting you.
[WILLIAM.]
I, uh, just wanted to know when you were coming home for the holiday.
- Um - [CHIMING.]
Dad, I'm a little busy.
- Can - [WILLIAM.]
I know.
I know.
Things must be crazy.
You're not fighting with the Internet again, are you? Just some racist bots.
[WILLIAM.]
Race bots.
Wow.
I'm not even gonna pretend to know what that means.
- [LAUGHS.]
- [WILLIAM.]
But these These people, they don't deserve your time and attention.
- Okay.
- [WILLIAM.]
And these are the best years of your life.
Don't waste them by making things difficult.
Difficult? Did you really just call me to tell me I'm difficult? No, I, uh I tried to text you, and [SAM.]
All right, Dad.
Take care.
Good night.
Okay, you too.
B [LAPTOP CHIMES.]
[LAPTOP CHIMES RAPIDLY.]
["I AIN'T GOT TIME!" BY TYLER, THE CREATOR PLAYING.]
Okay.
Okay, it's on, motherfucker.
It is on! I ain't got time for these niggas Better throw a watch at the boy Had my boys in this bitch Looking like a seminar Who the fuck you talking to Motherfucker Boy I ain't got time For these bitches Better throw a clock at these hos Had these hos in this bitch Looking for a water hose Who the fuck you talking to Motherfucker Boy I ain't got time Boy I need a Kleenex How I got this far Boy I can't believe it That I got this car So I can take the scenic Passenger a white boy Look like River Phoenix First Nigga so you don't know How that shit go And my short hair 'Cause you already know How slow my shit grow - [LAPTOP CHIMES.]
- I'm up, I'm up.
I'm up [SOFT SYNTH MUSIC ON VIDEO.]
Hey, let's be clear.
Um, I'm no expert.
I'm not a member of any oppressed class, but I am curious.
If racism is a system of disadvantage against people of color, are there ways that I, and other white people, support that system without knowing it? In other words, am I racist? [REGGIE.]
Hi.
I'm Reggie Green.
[GABE.]
Reggie, thank you for talking with me.
You back from your clap-back coma? Yeah.
It's Monday, BT-dubs.
I can't let this guy win, Jo.
You haven't showered in days, boo.
He is winning.
Come look at this.
[SIGHS.]
[JAZZ MUSIC.]
[CHUCKLES.]
It's just like you said.
I gotta clap back at these people for the culture.
I fear some of the nuance of my argument was lost in "translaysh.
" He's got nothing.
[SAM.]
He hasn't written back in hours.
And look, I got 30 likes on mine.
Hold on.
A present for us both.
Yep, come on.
We're heading to the showers For business, not for pleasure.
[JO.]
Come on, girl.
- [JO.]
Samantha! - I'm co [LANG.]
But back then, you know, collaborating with the Inuits was a novelty.
Uh, oh! And before I forget, um, Sam, you had something you wanted to share with us? Huh? [LANG.]
The documentary that you don't consider to be propaganda.
Oh.
Let me pull up my notes.
[LANG.]
Can you tell us the film? Perhaps Gabe can queue something up for us? You know what? This thing is tripping! Um [LANG.]
I guess not.
So, Jamila, it looks like Sam has conceded your point.
Wait.
- Uh - [LANG.]
Yes? Nothing.
Nothing.
Never mind.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[JAMILA.]
I just I don't have any need to Hi.
- Hey, Sam.
- Can I talk to you? [JAZZ MUSIC.]
I wasn't saying documentaries don't have agendas.
I was just saying there are some stories we shouldn't take for granted.
Why We Fight tells the truth by way of leaving out many others.
Segregation in the army, internment camps.
If we take everything people say at face value, we lose our ability to discern truth.
Okay? Okay.
Look, why tell me this now and not during the class debate? I wasn't about to fight with the one other sister in the room for their pleasure.
Too trope-y.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Hey, Sam.
Hey.
Uh We haven't really talked since Since the last time we talked.
Yeah, I haven't had to.
Have you? Uh No.
Uh I guess not.
I'll see you around.
[SAM.]
We both know Gabe's doc is just to get a reaction out of me.
[SAM.]
Girl, his face when I shaded him [JO.]
Yeah, he's definitely not making a documentary to get his MFA in documentary filmmaking.
[SAM.]
Oh, you're on his side! - [JO.]
No, I just - [SAM.]
No, wait.
It's fine.
Save it for the show.
I want to have a real on-air conversation about this.
With me? Yes.
Like you said, I should just talk.
Well, I need someone to just talk to.
Co-host? Well, a little notice would've been nice but I'm naturally charismatic, so okay.
[SAM.]
So yeah, I'll be going in on the comments on Gabe's shit.
[LAUGHS.]
That'll prove you're over him.
Look, they're saying he's the change.
He's making the same point as my show, except he's white, so it's groundbreaking.
I thought we were saving it.
[WOMAN.]
Why is the left allowed to dictate who gets to be oppressed? I mean, if gays and blacks can have a march, why can't Gordon? [WOMAN.]
Why do we have to suffer just because we were born white and straight and normal? [GORDON.]
A straight white guy march? Pfft.
Can you imagine the vitriol? That's oppression.
[MAN.]
Oppression.
These social justice warriors and their buzzwords.
"Wage gap," "institutional racism" "Rape culture" which is a myth, by the way.
- Right.
- Why is the left so obsessed with the idea of a victimized woman? The only thing libs would love more is, like, a non-binary queer American Indian immigrant.
Right? In a wheelchair.
With AIDS! We gotta get one of those! Yeah.
Wait, listen, listen.
I'm not a white nationalist, but It's crazy we have to qualify that.
But these inclusion and diversity programs like BSU and CORE are all just code for white genocide.
[GORDON.]
Preach, girl! [GORDON.]
Okay, we're out of time.
Thanks for listening in.
This is Dear Right People, and remember, there are only two genders [WOMAN.]
And AltlvyW, whoever you are, you inspire us, fam! One day, we'll live in a world where you won't have to hide your face.
Peace! - Peace! - Whoo.
[LAUGHTER.]
[WOMAN.]
Great show, guys.
[GORDON.]
I mean, it was perfect.
That was really good.
[JO.]
Okay, you know what? It's about to be Dear Fight People up in here, because I'm about to go all the way, and please tell me you're about to drag this Kirkland Signature Ann Coulter.
Sam, what are you reading? From campus hero AltlvyW: "Too bad your father ruined you by fucking a monkey.
Bet she's angry all the time too.
" Fuck these people, Jo.
[JO.]
Hey.
[CRIES.]
Sam, I know.
[SAM CRIES.]
[JO.]
It's okay.
No, they don't get to do this, Jo.
They don't get to say this.
Do you want me to queue up some music? - You don't - [SAM.]
No.
[JO.]
It's okay.
[SAM WHIMPERS.]
[JO.]
Are you ready? [THE ARC CHOIR'S "WALK WITH ME" PLAYING.]
Jesus walk Jesus walk Jesus walk with me I want Jesus - Jesus walk - To walk Jesus walk with me I want Jesus Jesus walk Jesus walk Walk with me When I'm on my Pilgrim journey I want Jesus To walk with me Walks with my mother He walks with me [WOMAN.]
Whoo-hoo! [GIGGLES.]
[ELECTRIC HUM.]
[TRIUMPHANT FANFARE.]

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