Drunk History (2013) s06e04 Episode Script

Trailblazers

1 Bessie Coleman, the first African-American pilot.
[IMITATING PLANE VROOMING.]
She's like, "I'm a bad bitch.
I'm a fucking pilot.
" God help me.
Okay.
- I am lit.
- [LAUGHS.]
Little Rock Nine is like, "Oh, my gosh.
There is an ass-load of angry white people.
" And they are like, "Uh, we don't like you.
You are poopy.
" None of these words are words that have ever come out of my mouth.
Fuck.
[PATRIOTIC MUSIC.]
- Have you ever flown a plane? - No.
- You want to try? - Yes.
All right.
Let's try it.
Let's do it for Bessie.
All engines are revvin'.
- And - Are you ready to go? And we're ready to go! [BOTH LAUGH.]
Yeah! - Oh.
- Fly it.
Ah.
Here we go.
[UPBEAT JAZZY MUSIC.]
- [LAUGHS.]
- Trying.
It's trying.
Oh, there it goes! She's going! Ah! Holy shit.
[LAUGHS.]
Excellent flight.
Hello, my name is Lyric Lewis, and today, we will be discussing the queen queen of queens, literally flyer than most, Bessie Coleman.
- Cheers.
- Cheers to Bessie.
Okay, so the story, we start in 1915, yes? In Chicago, right? And Bessie Coleman, she's 23 years old.
She's a young thing.
She's a manicurist in Chicago, and she is the best, hands-down the best, so like, she's doing the nails of the upper crust elite black people in Chicago.
And all the black people are like, "Hey, girl, hey.
Do my nails, girl," and she's like, "Okay, girl, I got you," and they're like, "Girl.
" While she's there, she's reading the "Chicago Defender," which is a black-owned newspaper.
She's reading about World War I and what's happening.
[POPS LIPS.]
So she's like, "Yo.
One day, I hope I get to be, like, a motherfucking pilot.
" People at the nail shop, the people were like, "Girl, you wiling out," and she's like, "No, I'm gonna be a fucking pilot.
Relax.
" And she says to herself, like, she's like, "Self, I'm not dumb.
"I know that I have to, like, train and go to school to become a pilot.
" So she's applying to aviation schools, and she's being rejected left and right because of nothing beside the fact that she's a black woman, she's black and Cherokee.
If this was a drink of haterade, their glass was full and they were like [SIPPING DRINK.]
"Hatin'.
" That was them.
And she's like, "Yo, fuck each and every one of you," and she's like, "Fine, like, whatever, like, you said no, but I'm gonna keep saving my money.
" And so then she meets Robert S.
Abbott, and he is the owner, it turns out to be, of the dun-dun-duh! The "Chicago Defender.
" And he's like, "Hey, girl.
" And she's like, "I love your paper.
"Your paper inspired me to even want "to be a fucking pilot, to where I really want to fly.
"However, I'm having trouble "getting into aviation school in America.
"America is not having me, because I'm black and I'm a woman.
" [BURPS.]
Excuse me.
And so Robert's like, "Yo, you're wiling out "if you think you're gonna be a pilot in America right now, because it's not gonna happen," and he was like, "My advice to you would be to go to Europe, go to France.
You have a better chance there.
" And he was like, "If you go there, "I'ma also sell some papers talking about you in my paper.
"If you go and really do this, "I will not only pay for you to get to France "bitch, I will pay for your entire schooling.
Boom.
" So she was like, "Fantastical.
" [POPS LIPS.]
So [POPS LIPS.]
[LAUGHS.]
So.
[POPS LIPS.]
She took him up on his offer and she applied and got accepted to the most elite French school for aviation.
Bessie's like, "Holla at me, bitch.
I'm at Caudron du Crotoy.
" Aviation was a scary thing back in the day.
Planes were like, "Girl, we don't have seatbelts.
"Girl, we don't have seats.
"Girl, we don't have leather, - and we don't have cup holders.
" - [DEREK CHORTLES.]
So Bessie was learning how to fly in France.
People were flying with the assumption that they would be okay but no [MUMBLING.]
security that they would be safe.
Oh, no what? [CHUCKLES.]
No security that they would be safe.
They were like, "My legs is out of the bottom Flintstones style.
" They're like [IMITATES NOSEDIVE, EXPLOSION.]
[IMITATING PLANE SOUNDS.]
That's a lot of people died in France.
[IMITATING PLANE SOUNDS, EXPLOSIONS.]
[DEREK LAUGHING.]
And then they was dead.
But so she's watching people die, and she's stressed out, but she gets her international piloting license in seven months, which, by the way, I will say for her, she was the first female American to get this, and it's extra explosive because she was black.
Boom.
So she's, like, feeling herself, right? So she gets back to New York and there's, like, every black publication there waiting for her.
It's like a media frenzy for her, like, they're like, "Bessie, come on, we love you.
" And she's like, "Oh, fuck, I'm famous.
I'm famous.
I'm famous.
" And so all the reporters are like, "Hey, bitch.
"Hey, bitch.
Click, click, click.
Click, click, click.
" She goes, "Well, I'ma live my life as a famous person.
Famous person.
" She's living [MUMBLES.]
So Bessie's in New York, and she's not being able to come become a commercial pilot, because New York is like, "Hey, dawg, we see you, "Bessie, we see that you're dope as fuck.
"We're still a little racist as fuck, so we won't let you pilot.
" So then she decides that she's like, "I'm gonna move from New York to, of all places, Florida.
" She was like, "Hey, Florida.
"They wouldn't let me pilot in New York.
I'm down with the get-down.
What's popping?" And Florida's like, "It's a no from me, dawg.
" And she's like, "Really? Y'all on that?" And they're like, "No, we're real racist down here.
" They have, like, a gas canteen gallon of haterade, and they're, like, drinking it out of straws.
They're like, "No, boo.
It's a no-fly zone.
" [POPS LIPS.]
If New York was wiling out, the south is gonna give you a run for your motherfucking money.
Bessie said to herself, she said, "You know what, self? Fuck this.
"I'm gonna become a trick pilot "because there's more money "in doing tricks than, like, fucking trying to be a regular-degular-smegular pilot.
" [DEREK LAUGHS.]
[POPS LIPS.]
But give it some, like, attitude.
You gotta be like bitch, who you talking to? - That is not my car.
- Bitch.
That is my man.
You was not there.
He said what-a-who? [LAUGHS.]
What are you doing with your shoes? Are you trying to get out of here? No, I'm just like, my foot just fell into the Nike.
So Bessie, you know, goes back to Europe to become a trick pilot.
She's doing tricks in a Benz LFG Roland plane, which no other woman had piloted at that time.
And she was the first woman to do it.
And she was great at it.
She was great at private performances and, like, all this amazing shit.
So she comes back to America.
Air shows at the time are all segregated, because it's America, and she said, "My air shows need to be segregated integrated.
" Oh, excuse me, I'm so sorry.
I keep burping.
Ew.
I am lit.
God help me.
Okay, so [POPS LIPS.]
So she had integrated air shows where she was doing figure eights.
She did wing dives.
She did lunges.
And she also did, like, parachute jumps and, like, wing sails and like [POPS LIPS.]
Like she was in loop-de-loop after loop-de-motherfucking-loop.
Like, she was in loops that she was like, "Whoo!" Loop-de-loop-loop-loop.
She was like, "Yes, loop!" [IMITATES PLANE SOUNDS.]
The audience stands up to give her a standing ovation, and they're like, "Let's give it up for this motherfucker.
" And the audience claps at her and they're like, "Yes, you are young, you are black, "like, people didn't want to let you "live your life and you lived your life.
Yes, bitch.
" She looks at the audience, and she's like, "Wow, like, I did that shit.
"Like, I fuck flew that damn plane.
"I'm a bad bitch.
I'm a fucking pilot.
"I went to Europe and learned a foreign languages "and trained and I did everything despite the haters who are drinking what?" This isn't a glass of haterade, but their cup would've runneth over of haterade.
Because she was the first woman to do it, she gave herself the moniker after that, like, she was like, "Call me Queen Bess, bitch.
" But then in 1926, she got offered a flight for the Negro Welfare League to do their Mayday festival in Jacksonville, Florida.
She was like, "I got this.
I can't let them down.
" But while trying to do a training exercise show she was going to do, a wrench comes loose in her plane and it crashes the plane, and she's thrown 500 feet out of the plane in the air and she dies at the age of 34.
But that's not where her story ends, - because she was a trailblazer.
- Mm.
Starting in 1931, black pilots and black aviators fly their planes over Bessie Coleman's grave every year to commemorate her for being a pioneer for people of color and women to get into aviation and flight.
In 1992, Mae Jemison, which was the first African-American woman in space and the one thing she took into space with her was a picture of her idol, which was the first black woman to aviate, ever, who was the Queen Bess, Bessie Coleman.
And she looks at the picture of Bessie Coleman, and Bessie's like, "Bitch, you got this," like, she's like, "I did all of this for you.
"You better eat this shit up alive because I lived and died "by the, what, the propeller and the plane for you to be in a fucking spaceship," and that's exactly what the fuck she said to her.
[LAUGHS.]
I think she died doing what she loved.
She died doing what she believed in.
That's li'l Bessie.
I think you should fly.
[BURPS.]
Oh, excuse me, I burped.
So what are you making? What is your drink of choice this evening? The drink of choice for Amber Ruffin this evening is a margarita, but not just a margarita, a spicy margarita.
Now, why you go spicy on your margaritas? Thank you for asking.
'Cause I felt like it.
[LAUGHS.]
[BURPS.]
Hey, everybody, I'm Amber Ruffin, and I'm here to talk about the Little Rock Nine.
I can't reach you.
- I got to you.
- Oh, you got up.
One more night Yeah, we're gonna celebrate - One more night - All right, oh, yeah Ta-pa-po-pa-po Our story starts in Arkansas.
Little Rock, to be specific.
It's 1957.
The Supreme Court has just ruled in the case of Brown versus the Board of Education that separate is not equal.
So their local NAACP went out to the black community and found nine kids to go to Central High School, the premier high school in Little Rock, Arkansas.
So these kids are like, "We are the Little Rock Nine.
We are fucking nine visions of black excellence.
" "We will go to school, and we'll change the world.
It'll be great.
" So then the governor of Arkansas, Orval Faubus, finds out that these kids are planning to integrate, and this bitch, Orval Fartbus [LAUGHS.]
You can fart all you want on the Fartbus.
Anyway, Orval Fartbus was like, "Hey, if these kids integrate, the streets will run red with blood.
" Orval Fartbus is a bitch.
Um [LAUGHING.]
No, he's a bitch.
So, then, the kids show up to school on September 4th, 1957.
The first day of school, the senior in the group of the Little Rock Nine is Ernest Green, and he is like, "Oh, my gosh.
There is an ass-load of angry white people.
" This angry white mob was like, "We don't like you.
"You need to go away.
We are going to beat you up and hang you from a tree.
" That's not funny.
Meanwhile, on the other side of school, Elizabeth Eckford, the ninth of the Little Rock Nine, is like, "Oh, fuck, I'm here all by myself.
"Oh, my God, there's a huge mob of white people.
This is terrifying.
" They're yelling, and they have signs, and they're shouting shit.
And they are like, "Hey.
You're white.
"I mean, I'm white, and you're black, so that means I don't like you.
" So she gathers herself and this girl is G'd up, fucking face stone-cold, and walking through these people who want to pick her up and break her in two, just walking through like a G, and she sees the Arkansas National Guard.
"They must be here to help me," she thinks.
She quickens her pace, and she goes, "Hey, these white people are trying to kill me.
Please save me.
" And they, like, block her entrance.
They are letting other white students in.
And she's like, "What is the deal? "You are the National Fucking Guard.
If anybody needs to be guarded, it's me, here, now.
" So she leaves school.
She sits down at the bus stop, and the white people are surrounding her, and they're like, "Uh, we don't like you.
You are poopy.
" She waits several minutes for the bus.
The bus pulls up, and she's like, "Thank God, "I can finally get out of here.
"This isn't the last I will see of you, "but also, fucking fuck, can I just get a fucking education?" So [BURPS.]
That was the first attempt, and they lost.
So attempt number two.
They regroup.
They go at it again in a week.
They all got together this time, and they all entered school at the same place at the same time.
The Little Rock police force escorts the children into school, and they say, "Hey, look.
"Let me catch you out on the street "any other day, and then who knows what, but today, we'll take care of you.
" They escort the children into school, and they hold the line so that the crazy angry white mob does not act a fool.
But the angry mob, they break through the police line and goes into the school, and they're like, "Ah! We hate black people so much! We're coming in this school to snatch you out.
" So the cops are like, "fuck.
" So they get away in the nick of time because these people are so angry that they, like, beat up cops and push them out of the way so they can get to these children.
White people.
So they go to their houses.
These kids are now like, "Oh, man.
"There's nothing we can do.
I feel very discouraged.
"All of these white people are extra crazy.
They are very mad.
" Ernest Green turns to the group and he says, "You know what, we need to continue through to school "because all of these white people "are going to think we are to be fuck with.
We absolutely can't give up.
" So ba-ba-da-doo the story of the crazy white people of Little Rock, Arkansas, finds its way to Eisenhower, and he is like, "This shit is fucking embarrassing.
"These white people are fucking my shit up.
"How dare these people think that they can use mob mentali ty to over rule?" [LAUGHS.]
None of these words are words that have ever come out of my mouth.
Fuck.
So President Eisenhower says, "I'm gonna send in 1,000 troops from the 101st Airborne.
" Not a hundred of them.
A hundred would have done it.
Not 200, not 300, but 1,000 of these people.
The Little Rock Nine arrive at school together, and the 101st Airborne is there.
And they say, "Hey, look, we are going to take care of you today.
" [CAR HORN HONKS.]
"We're gonna take care of you today.
" - [HORN HONKS.]
- "We are gonna take" [LAUGHING.]
Beep.
Where were we? Oh, okay, so they were like, "We're gonna take care of you today.
" They escort the children into school.
They're holding back the crazy white people.
So the Little Rock Nine is like, "This is the shit.
We did it.
We win everything.
Hooray for us.
" So they go into school, but once they get in the school, they realize, "Oh, shit.
Now we have to deal with these children.
" These white children are like, "Aha! "You finally made it into school.
"Now you belong to us.
We're gonna beat you up every chance we get.
" She's like, "Why?" and they're like, "We don't know exactly why we hate you.
"We just know that it's something "our parents have handed down to us, "and so we're just acting in what we believe are their best interests.
" And Elizabeth is like, "Well, I don't know "that that is their best interest.
Maybe if you just get along with me " - And they're like, "No!" - [DEREK CHUCKLES.]
These children give the Little Rock Nine hell for a whole year, and these little babies are being the blacketiest black black that ever blacked, and it is blackening up my soul.
Mmm.
BOTH: Stay tuned for more "Drunk History.
" Why'd you make me drink that? I'm making this drink.
Are you mad? - Not at all.
- What are you gonna drink? You've had too many drinks.
I really feel fine, - but also, like, I've said that before.
- Oh, yeah, you really feel fine.
[LAUGHS.]
Okay, so, Ernest Green graduated, and he was like, "Oh, thank God, these people almost killed me.
" So Ernest Green walks across the stage, grabs his diploma, looks out in the audience, and sees Dr.
Martin Luther King! Ernest was like, "Oh, my God! That is Dr.
Martin Luther the King!" He's like, "These people almost killed me, but I did it, isn't this crazy?" And then Dr.
Martin Luther King was like, "Well, there's nothing else you have to do "'cause you've already gone through it.
Good job.
" Oh, look at my nails.
They're so beautiful.
Hi.
Hi, you're so pretty.
Um What was I talking about? Oh, okay, then the 40-year anniversary was in 1997.
Oprah Winfrey had them on her show, and Oprah Winfrey was like, "Hey, Little Rock Nine, "guess who I have on the show? The children that tormented you.
" And the bullies were like, "Look, back in 1957, "we were little punks, but now we're cool dudes "who love you, and we're sorry "because we were mean to you "and being mean to black people is not cool anymore, so we just wanted to absolve ourselves of that.
" Their apologies were not up to 2019 standards.
Their apologies were frankly bullshit.
[DEREK LAUGHS.]
But the Little Rock Nine forgave them for all of the terrible things they did, and, uh, that is more than fucking I ever would've done.
Okay, so, in 1999, President Bill Clinton gave each of the Little Rock Nine the Congressional Gold Medal because what they went through was fucking amazing.
It's shocking that anyone went through it, much less children.
Cannot point out enough that they were children.
- Mm.
- So.
The Little Rock Nine wins.
Everyone else is a piece of shit.
The end.
Racism is fixed, and everything's fine.
Oh, cool.
Happy 2019.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Are you cool? - Happy 2019.
- [LAUGHS.]
Um, I don't know what I was saying, but I love margaritas.
And black people! [GASPS.]
[PATRIOTIC MUSIC.]

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