Grace and Frankie (2015) s03e12 Episode Script
The Musical
1 [Grace Potter's "Stuck In The Middle" playing.]
Well, I don't know Why I came here tonight Got the feelin' That somethin' ain't right I'm so scared In case I fall off my chair And I'm wondering How I'll get down the stairs And there's clowns to the left of me Jokers to the right Here I am Stuck in the middle with you Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you Ooh, ooh [indistinct radio chatter.]
She was trying to talk for ten minutes, but couldn't get any words out.
It wasn't ten minutes.
Maybe one minute.
See? She has no memory of it.
Okay, you can go ahead and lower your arms.
Good.
Now repeat after me: "The sky is always blue in San Diego.
" You know, everyone says that, but we have our share of overcast days.
Please just do what she says, Frankie.
Fine.
The sky is always blue in San Diego.
- Again.
- The sky is always blue in San Diego Okay.
Uh, well, I'm not seeing any facial paralysis, no weakness in the arms and no slurred speech.
You can't be saying there's nothing wrong.
There's a number of things we can't diagnose in the field.
It could've been anything from some neurological event to an anxiety attack.
Bingo.
I pick that one.
Have you been under a lot of stress lately? I can't talk about it right now.
Okay.
Let's get you to the hospital, get you checked out, - then you'll know what it is.
- Nope.
No thanks.
- Yeah, I'll follow in your car.
- Who are you texting? - Your family.
- No, no, no.
You're gonna scare everyone for no reason.
- I'm not sick.
I'm not going.
- I don't recommend that.
- I don't either.
- What is this, Yelp? Okay, well, if you're refusing care, I'm gonna need you to sign this release.
- She's not refusing care, she's just - Happily refusing care.
[Grace sighs.]
All right, move it along.
Nothing to see here.
The sky is always blue in San Diego.
- Just step aside.
- Frankie, Frankie.
- Where do you think you're going? - Home.
How? [Frankie sighs.]
[crowd chanting.]
Theater's not for fags! Theater's not for fags! I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is a disgrace, - that two are called a law firm.
- [laughter.]
And that three or more become a Congress.
- And, by God, I have had this Congress! - [upbeat piano music.]
Sit down, John Sit down, John For God's sakes, John, sit down Sit down, John Sit down, John For God's sakes, John, sit down Someone ought to open up a window - [chorus.]
It's 90 degrees - [cell phone buzzes.]
Have mercy, John, please It's hot as hell in Philadelphia [man.]
Someone ought to open up a window I say vote yes Vote yes Vote for independency - [chorus.]
- Someone ought to open up a window I say vote yes - [chorus.]
- Sit down, John Vote for independency Will someone shut this man up! Never.
Never! [applause.]
Oh, stop.
You're not leaving without my friend.
Well, if she doesn't want to go, we can't force her.
[scoffs.]
But that's the only way to get her to do anything! Two minutes.
Give me two minutes.
If I can't talk sense into her, then I'll carry her here and strap her into the ambulance myself.
Oh, for Christ's sake.
[woman over P.
A.
.]
Hospital security, you are needed in the main lobby.
We're looking for a Frankie Bergstein.
She arrived by ambulance.
- Hey, Bonnie.
- Hi.
- Philip - Allison.
Darshon, you were right, Creed was awesome.
- Told you.
- You're so right.
What is this, her home away from home? So? You know that sushi restaurant you go to all the time? Everybody knows you and treats you like you're special? Same thing.
Yeah, totally not even close to the same thing.
No one by that name has been admitted through the emergency room.
Oh, she may be using one of her aliases.
Is a "Ms.
Eleanor Roosevelt" here? It wouldn't be that.
That's the name she uses for dinner reservations.
Oh, right.
Right, right, right.
Oh, wow.
I'm feeling a little light-headed.
I think I'm gonna just go sit down.
Stop it.
She's fine.
Oh, she looks great.
I know.
Gloria Swanson.
[recording of Frankie.]
I am beautiful.
I am confident.
Off, off.
Be quiet.
I am the perfect age.
I am the perfect size.
[cell phone rings.]
- I am good enough.
- Be quick, Mallory.
I'm driving Frankie's car and don't have hands free.
We're all here at the hospital.
Where are you? Oh, shoot! I'm sorry, sweetheart.
Frankie insisted she was fine and refused to go.
[recording.]
I am healthy and my mind is tranquil.
What? What did she say? Frankie, it's Sol.
That's not her.
It's her goddamn self-affirmation recording.
Ah.
Not the first time I was fooled by that.
She said she was going home.
Can you all meet me there? Yeah.
Dad, why don't you go back to the theater? We'll let you know what's going on.
The rest of us will head over as soon as Allison is done being Allison.
Great.
Okay.
Hanging up.
[recording.]
Embrace love, light, and the possibility of a better tomorrow.
Pass.
Frankie? [groove music playing softly.]
- Frankie, are you here? - No! Shit.
What the hell are you doing? I'm getting serious about my health.
Why are you acting like nothing happened? I think you had a stroke, Frankie.
Get outta here.
Then what was it? Sometimes when you go on and on and on, I have the ability to shut my entire body down.
Maybe I shut down too hard, like those fainting goats.
I know what I saw and I know that you have to get this checked out.
See this? Total shut down.
Didn't hear any of that.
- [door opens.]
- [Jacob.]
Frankie, you here? - Oh! Yes! But don't tell Grace.
- [door closes.]
Maybe you can talk some sense into her.
How you feeling? Better now.
Let's get dinner.
Ruby's? I could really go for a mozzarella stick.
She needs to go to the hospital.
For a panic attack? That's what she told you? The EMT said it could have been a neurological event.
What? I have neurological events all the time.
They're called acid flashbacks and they're the shit! She looked really confused and out of it.
Hello? Have you met me? That's my look! Boom.
Frankie burn.
Hashtag roasted.
Sounds like this isn't something you mess around with.
Oh, my God.
Would you Complaining Cathys be happy if I made you a deal? I will not go to the hospital, but I will call my doctor.
And if he tells you to go to the hospital, will you? - Yes.
- Deal.
Call him.
Now.
Okay.
[loud drone.]
Kidding.
Give me your phone.
Peter.
Robert, you are on fire! - You are John Adams.
- Thank you.
Look, do you know where my family is? Okay.
There is a slight situation, but everything's fine now.
Sol's on his way back and he'll tell you all about it after the show.
What kind of situation? With those protestors? The buzz backstage is that Sol's ex was taken to the hospital by ambulance.
Frankie? Oh, my God.
What happened? They don't know.
But if you feel compelled to go, which any person would, we would all completely understand.
I know all your lines, and your wig fits me perfect.
- You've been trying it on? - It's my job to.
- It is absolutely not, Steve.
- [man.]
Places please.
I've been texting with Sol and he says, "Robert, be brave.
The show must go on.
And it wouldn't hurt if you paced it up a little.
" - He said that last part? - Damn it, Robert! There's no time! "Frankie's home now and seems fine.
No need for Robert to worry.
" You know, the only thing that gives me pause is the use of the word "seems.
" I've got this.
Shut the fuck up, Steve.
And sit the fuck down.
Oh, thank God you're here, Dr? Oh, just call me Mark.
Mark.
I must say, I'm impressed anybody makes house calls these days.
Well, if someone needs me, I will go anywhere.
I like to think of my patients as my children.
Well, your daughter's being a real pill.
Oh, that feels so good.
Frankie? Hey, Mark! I'm sorry to get you out here this late for a brain glitch.
Don't worry about it.
I'll just do a quick examination.
Let's have a look at that tongue.
It's a little coated.
Flaming Hot Funyuns? [laughs.]
Right on the money, as per.
Do you want us to clear out? Give you some privacy? Well, if you could back up just a bit.
I need to have a clear energy path to bring in the shamanic spirits.
Oh, God [moans, speaks ritualistic chants.]
Allison knows we're waiting, right? Yeah.
She just has to check out.
She'll be here in a minute.
Are we gonna have to hear about everything wrong with her? We don't have time for the "Ailments with Allison" show.
She fainted.
Because she always has to be the center of attention, so she conjures up some kind of illness.
Bud, there's a name for it: Fictitious Disorder.
First of all, it's "Factitious Disorder" and she doesn't have that.
We checked.
- With a Factitian? - That's not a thing.
Neither are her numerous diseases.
Shut up, okay? Oh, here she comes.
Hey, honey.
What did the doctor say? Nothing.
It's nothing.
It's fine.
Just [sighs.]
Your chi is lower than I'd like it to be, but these crystals should help.
I'd also like to do some Reiki.
Oh, that would be great.
You know what else would be great? Getting a freaking MRI.
Wow, you seem really angry.
- May I see your tongue? - You may not.
You know, I don't think this is helping Frankie.
Well, I don't think this is a real thing.
Don't listen to her.
There's some tea I'd like you to take three times a day.
[Frankie.]
Hmm.
You know what? If you could brew it, it would be great.
Tea? - Tea.
- Tea.
Marshmallow root, dandelion leaf, reishi mushroom, wild lettuce, and a little something I like to call "Mark Bark.
" Well, let me get my wizard staff and pointed hat.
That is a different tea.
Come on, Grace.
Who's the doctor here? Nobody! Nobody's the doctor here! Wow.
[groans.]
That's like nothing I've ever smelled before and I work with fertilizer.
This is ridiculous.
Look, I know this isn't your thing, and it might not even be my thing, but it is her thing.
Well, her thing is also holding her breath every time a plane flies overhead.
Say what you want, but a plane's never emptied its toilets over your house.
That's why she does that? Yeah.
[Mark.]
Hey guys, be sure to keep the tea covered! There's a lot of star-constellation energy in there! Makes total fucking sense! Thanks, Mark! [Mark chanting indistinctly.]
Here it is.
Oh, great.
Thanks, you guys.
Now, remember you are a student of the leaf and the tea is your plant teacher.
Just drink mindfully.
And try not to throw it up because it tastes like horse shit.
You might want to hold your nose.
The smell alone could kill you.
Hmm.
It's not bad.
It doesn't really have any taste at all.
Let me make sure you made it right.
- [sputters.]
- [Grace.]
Oh.
No, that's right.
[exhales.]
- Anything? - Nothing! Why can't I taste anything? I don't know, but you should probably get to the hospital.
- No! - Oh! Frankie, we had a deal.
Yes, but I didn't think this would happen! [smacking.]
[man over P.
A.
.]
Satellite pharmacy, pick up 2346.
Are you kidding me? You're at the hospital now? We're waiting to talk to the doctor.
Give me the phone.
Give me the phone.
Hang on, your mom wants to talk to you.
Hi, sweetheart.
Hey, Mom.
We're coming to the hospital.
Oh, no.
Stay there.
We'll be home soon.
Are you sure? We really want to see you.
Well, it was just some routine tests.
Peed in a cup blah, blah, blah.
You know the drill.
Yes, I do.
All right, well, we'll be waiting for you when you get here.
Okay? - Love you.
- Love you too.
Good God! Fishing rights! How long are these piddlings to go on? Yeah? How long? - How long is all this going to go on? - Sit down, jerk! - Hey.
Get your hands off me.
- Animals, get out! I bought a ticket! [door closes.]
Well [clears throat.]
We are I think what Mr.
Adams is trying to say is, he has been sitting here for three full days.
We have endured by my count 85 separate changes Be gone, you drunk! And though my colleague is afflicted by the drink, he doth uttereth the truth.
[silent mouthing.]
For we have indeed witnessed 85 changes.
The nurse said the doctor is on his way.
- [sighs.]
- Stop worrying.
Whatever it is, it's going to be okay.
Well, just keep talking.
Your voice calms me down.
I've heard great things about this hospital.
You're in good hands.
Why don't we just be quiet for a little while? Okay Sounds good to me.
Can I go now? - Don't you want to know what's going on? - No, not really.
Well, you pulled me out of an Ed Sheeran concert, so I feel like I kind of owe you.
All right.
Knock yourself out.
Well, it looks like you had a TIA, which is essentially a mini-stroke.
Oh, my God.
I had a feeling.
[Jacob.]
What does that mean? Well, the TIA doesn't do any visible damage to the brain tissue, but something else did show up on your scan.
You see this spot there? Is that the button I snorted up my nose when I was four? No.
It's an old lesion.
And while we can't pinpoint it exactly, it does indicate that you had a fairly significant stroke about ten years ago.
No, no, that can't be right.
How is that possible? Well, it's actually fairly common.
The symptoms could have been easily overlooked: some weakness, dizziness, it could even happen in your sleep.
But what does that mean? You're a candidate for another stroke.
Oh, God.
What does she do now? Well, I'm going to put her on some blood thinners and some statins, and before you leave, I'm gonna give you information about Transient Ischemic Attacks and some recommended lifestyle changes.
Exercise, nutrition, that kind of thing.
Any questions? No.
Thank you so much, Dr.
Weintraub.
- Appreciate it.
- No problem.
Thank you.
This is a good thing.
Now we can be on top of it, right? I want to go home.
- Hey, Mom, how are you? - How's it going? - [Mallory.]
What happened? - Hey, guys.
Oh, that's a good blood pressure cuff.
It's the new one.
So psyched.
Uh, what exactly did the doctor say? Well [clears throat.]
He said that, um that I had a stroke.
A mini-stroke.
There was no damage to brain tissue, which is good.
- Grace - But - But what? - Mom? Apparently, I had a more significant stroke, he thinks, around ten years ago.
- Wow.
- Oh, my God.
And you didn't know? No.
I had no idea.
Wait.
There was that time we went to see Superbad and you started spouting gibberish at Jonah Hill.
No, no, that wasn't a stroke.
They hadn't perfected edibles back then.
Wait.
About ten years ago? That's when we all went to Napa.
- Oh, yeah.
- What about it? You got lost for half a day in a vineyard.
I didn't get lost.
I was hiding in a vineyard.
- From what? - Grapes.
And they hadn't perfected edibles yet.
All of this is gonna change.
As the doctor said, we have some major lifestyle changes to make.
And I'm gonna help you.
First thing tomorrow, we're going to get you a nutritionist, gonna start an exercise program.
Good God! Why don't you go get your gun and shoot me in the face like you wanted to all along.
You know what? I'm going to cancel my trip to Santa Fe this week.
No.
I don't want anybody cancelling anything for me.
I don't want to be away from you.
Maybe I should go with you.
The desert could do me some good.
Right now? What, are you fresh out of cow skulls? Yes.
As a matter of fact I am.
All right, you know what, kids? It's been a long day and your mom needs rest.
So - Yeah.
- Thank you.
Bye, sweetheart.
Oh, man.
Did anybody text Dad? How about a "Golda Meir"? - Really? - [cell phone buzzes.]
[woman over P.
A.
.]
Dr.
Katz, to Labor and Delivery [sighs.]
[Bud sighs.]
- Weird night, huh? - Mm-hmm.
- Are you okay? - Yeah, why? I don't know, when you came out of the hospital and said you were fine something didn't feel right about that.
Oh, God, you know me so well.
Should I be worried? - What did the doctor say? Is it serious? - No.
A bunch of stuff.
And yes.
Allison, tell me.
I'm here, okay? [chuckles.]
I'm pregnant.
Are you still here? Yes.
Of course.
Of course.
Are you sure? Well, my blood has lied to me before, but the doctor seemed pretty sure.
Well, I mean - This is very - Surprising.
Surprising.
Yes.
But it's also challenging? Very, very challenging.
But also - Information that is - Private.
Yes.
But also For fuck's sake, Bud, just tell me what you think.
I think Me, too.
[door opens, slams shut.]
You ruined my opening night.
I'm sorry.
Frankie got sick and I I'm not talking about you walking out on my show twice.
And while that was extremely annoying, I'm talking about that wretched heckler.
- Oh, that was unbelievable.
- Yes! I guess something must have gotten him really revved up.
I Robert I know it was you, Sol.
You threw the Pepsi at that kid, didn't you? It was a Mr.
Bubbly and it was an accident.
Well, you accidentally accelerated that situation.
If you had just let them be, like I asked you to, no one would have paid any attention and they would have just crawled back under the rock they came from.
But if I hadn't said anything We'd be celebrating over drinks at the cast party.
What was I supposed to do? Let.
It.
Go.
No! I can't.
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is "for good men to do nothing.
" My father had that quote framed and hung in our living room.
I saw it every day.
I'm not going to let this go, Robert.
Especially Especially after what they did to you today.
Those people fucked with the wrong bored old man! Now, go in there and wash that makeup off your face.
I planted these crab apple trees when I bought the place.
There's a family of mule deer who come by every evening.
There's a mother, and father, two little ones.
They've just about picked this tree clean.
Oh, it sounds so beautiful.
- Yeah, they do get gassy.
- [door opens.]
[Grace.]
Knock-knock.
You left your reading glasses downstairs.
I thought you might need them.
Thank you.
And, um, you left these downstairs, too.
Since you have your glasses, maybe you want to take a look.
If it's all right with you, I'll read them later.
- Have you taken your blood pressure yet? - No.
- Would you like me to show you how - No.
I would not.
Okay.
Oh, by the way, if you're still thinking about going to Santa Fe, it is really not a good idea to fly right now.
We're thinking maybe we'd drive.
Make it a nice road trip.
Yeah, I asked about that, too.
She's not supposed to sit for long stretches.
You know, she has to get up and walk around every half hour.
For circulation.
Who did you ask? Dr.
Weintraub.
- You called him? - Yes! To find out if it was all right for you to travel so soon.
You called my doctor? Frankie.
It's okay.
No, it's not okay.
You don't get to call my doctor.
You're not my mother.
You're not my husband.
From now on, if I have any questions, I'll call him.
Oh, will you? Because you were going to take a trip without ever talking to him.
Where are you going? Don't leave.
I'm not leaving.
I just think you two need for me not to be here.
- [Frankie sighs.]
- [door opens.]
Why are you angry with me? Would you prefer if I gave you a kiss and said thank you? Yes! I was right! There is something serious that you needed to know about so you could take care of it.
This is not what I want my life to look like! So you have to take a few pills and check your blood pressure.
That's not your life.
I take pills.
My God, this is America, everybody takes pills.
It's not just the pills.
I was much happier not knowing.
Now I'm going to wake up every morning thinking about spots on my brain.
Every time I stumble over a word I'm going to think, "It's happening again!" Or wonder "Will I even get to finish my sentence?" It scares the shit out of me.
Oh, you want to talk about scared? Let's talk about it.
Today, in the car? I thought I was watching you die right in front of me.
I was terrified that I was losing my best friend.
I did what I was supposed to do for somebody that I care about.
I did the right thing and I am not gonna apologize for it.
Would you please tell Jacob to come in on your way out? [Bahamas' "Lost In The Light" playing.]
[door closes.]
[sighs.]
I'm lost in the light I pray for the night To take me To take me too After so many words Still nothing's heard Don't know what we should do So if someone could see me now Let them see you [chorus humming.]
[woman.]
Okay, good night.
Well, I don't know Why I came here tonight Got the feelin' That somethin' ain't right I'm so scared In case I fall off my chair And I'm wondering How I'll get down the stairs And there's clowns to the left of me Jokers to the right Here I am Stuck in the middle with you Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you Ooh, ooh [indistinct radio chatter.]
She was trying to talk for ten minutes, but couldn't get any words out.
It wasn't ten minutes.
Maybe one minute.
See? She has no memory of it.
Okay, you can go ahead and lower your arms.
Good.
Now repeat after me: "The sky is always blue in San Diego.
" You know, everyone says that, but we have our share of overcast days.
Please just do what she says, Frankie.
Fine.
The sky is always blue in San Diego.
- Again.
- The sky is always blue in San Diego Okay.
Uh, well, I'm not seeing any facial paralysis, no weakness in the arms and no slurred speech.
You can't be saying there's nothing wrong.
There's a number of things we can't diagnose in the field.
It could've been anything from some neurological event to an anxiety attack.
Bingo.
I pick that one.
Have you been under a lot of stress lately? I can't talk about it right now.
Okay.
Let's get you to the hospital, get you checked out, - then you'll know what it is.
- Nope.
No thanks.
- Yeah, I'll follow in your car.
- Who are you texting? - Your family.
- No, no, no.
You're gonna scare everyone for no reason.
- I'm not sick.
I'm not going.
- I don't recommend that.
- I don't either.
- What is this, Yelp? Okay, well, if you're refusing care, I'm gonna need you to sign this release.
- She's not refusing care, she's just - Happily refusing care.
[Grace sighs.]
All right, move it along.
Nothing to see here.
The sky is always blue in San Diego.
- Just step aside.
- Frankie, Frankie.
- Where do you think you're going? - Home.
How? [Frankie sighs.]
[crowd chanting.]
Theater's not for fags! Theater's not for fags! I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is a disgrace, - that two are called a law firm.
- [laughter.]
And that three or more become a Congress.
- And, by God, I have had this Congress! - [upbeat piano music.]
Sit down, John Sit down, John For God's sakes, John, sit down Sit down, John Sit down, John For God's sakes, John, sit down Someone ought to open up a window - [chorus.]
It's 90 degrees - [cell phone buzzes.]
Have mercy, John, please It's hot as hell in Philadelphia [man.]
Someone ought to open up a window I say vote yes Vote yes Vote for independency - [chorus.]
- Someone ought to open up a window I say vote yes - [chorus.]
- Sit down, John Vote for independency Will someone shut this man up! Never.
Never! [applause.]
Oh, stop.
You're not leaving without my friend.
Well, if she doesn't want to go, we can't force her.
[scoffs.]
But that's the only way to get her to do anything! Two minutes.
Give me two minutes.
If I can't talk sense into her, then I'll carry her here and strap her into the ambulance myself.
Oh, for Christ's sake.
[woman over P.
A.
.]
Hospital security, you are needed in the main lobby.
We're looking for a Frankie Bergstein.
She arrived by ambulance.
- Hey, Bonnie.
- Hi.
- Philip - Allison.
Darshon, you were right, Creed was awesome.
- Told you.
- You're so right.
What is this, her home away from home? So? You know that sushi restaurant you go to all the time? Everybody knows you and treats you like you're special? Same thing.
Yeah, totally not even close to the same thing.
No one by that name has been admitted through the emergency room.
Oh, she may be using one of her aliases.
Is a "Ms.
Eleanor Roosevelt" here? It wouldn't be that.
That's the name she uses for dinner reservations.
Oh, right.
Right, right, right.
Oh, wow.
I'm feeling a little light-headed.
I think I'm gonna just go sit down.
Stop it.
She's fine.
Oh, she looks great.
I know.
Gloria Swanson.
[recording of Frankie.]
I am beautiful.
I am confident.
Off, off.
Be quiet.
I am the perfect age.
I am the perfect size.
[cell phone rings.]
- I am good enough.
- Be quick, Mallory.
I'm driving Frankie's car and don't have hands free.
We're all here at the hospital.
Where are you? Oh, shoot! I'm sorry, sweetheart.
Frankie insisted she was fine and refused to go.
[recording.]
I am healthy and my mind is tranquil.
What? What did she say? Frankie, it's Sol.
That's not her.
It's her goddamn self-affirmation recording.
Ah.
Not the first time I was fooled by that.
She said she was going home.
Can you all meet me there? Yeah.
Dad, why don't you go back to the theater? We'll let you know what's going on.
The rest of us will head over as soon as Allison is done being Allison.
Great.
Okay.
Hanging up.
[recording.]
Embrace love, light, and the possibility of a better tomorrow.
Pass.
Frankie? [groove music playing softly.]
- Frankie, are you here? - No! Shit.
What the hell are you doing? I'm getting serious about my health.
Why are you acting like nothing happened? I think you had a stroke, Frankie.
Get outta here.
Then what was it? Sometimes when you go on and on and on, I have the ability to shut my entire body down.
Maybe I shut down too hard, like those fainting goats.
I know what I saw and I know that you have to get this checked out.
See this? Total shut down.
Didn't hear any of that.
- [door opens.]
- [Jacob.]
Frankie, you here? - Oh! Yes! But don't tell Grace.
- [door closes.]
Maybe you can talk some sense into her.
How you feeling? Better now.
Let's get dinner.
Ruby's? I could really go for a mozzarella stick.
She needs to go to the hospital.
For a panic attack? That's what she told you? The EMT said it could have been a neurological event.
What? I have neurological events all the time.
They're called acid flashbacks and they're the shit! She looked really confused and out of it.
Hello? Have you met me? That's my look! Boom.
Frankie burn.
Hashtag roasted.
Sounds like this isn't something you mess around with.
Oh, my God.
Would you Complaining Cathys be happy if I made you a deal? I will not go to the hospital, but I will call my doctor.
And if he tells you to go to the hospital, will you? - Yes.
- Deal.
Call him.
Now.
Okay.
[loud drone.]
Kidding.
Give me your phone.
Peter.
Robert, you are on fire! - You are John Adams.
- Thank you.
Look, do you know where my family is? Okay.
There is a slight situation, but everything's fine now.
Sol's on his way back and he'll tell you all about it after the show.
What kind of situation? With those protestors? The buzz backstage is that Sol's ex was taken to the hospital by ambulance.
Frankie? Oh, my God.
What happened? They don't know.
But if you feel compelled to go, which any person would, we would all completely understand.
I know all your lines, and your wig fits me perfect.
- You've been trying it on? - It's my job to.
- It is absolutely not, Steve.
- [man.]
Places please.
I've been texting with Sol and he says, "Robert, be brave.
The show must go on.
And it wouldn't hurt if you paced it up a little.
" - He said that last part? - Damn it, Robert! There's no time! "Frankie's home now and seems fine.
No need for Robert to worry.
" You know, the only thing that gives me pause is the use of the word "seems.
" I've got this.
Shut the fuck up, Steve.
And sit the fuck down.
Oh, thank God you're here, Dr? Oh, just call me Mark.
Mark.
I must say, I'm impressed anybody makes house calls these days.
Well, if someone needs me, I will go anywhere.
I like to think of my patients as my children.
Well, your daughter's being a real pill.
Oh, that feels so good.
Frankie? Hey, Mark! I'm sorry to get you out here this late for a brain glitch.
Don't worry about it.
I'll just do a quick examination.
Let's have a look at that tongue.
It's a little coated.
Flaming Hot Funyuns? [laughs.]
Right on the money, as per.
Do you want us to clear out? Give you some privacy? Well, if you could back up just a bit.
I need to have a clear energy path to bring in the shamanic spirits.
Oh, God [moans, speaks ritualistic chants.]
Allison knows we're waiting, right? Yeah.
She just has to check out.
She'll be here in a minute.
Are we gonna have to hear about everything wrong with her? We don't have time for the "Ailments with Allison" show.
She fainted.
Because she always has to be the center of attention, so she conjures up some kind of illness.
Bud, there's a name for it: Fictitious Disorder.
First of all, it's "Factitious Disorder" and she doesn't have that.
We checked.
- With a Factitian? - That's not a thing.
Neither are her numerous diseases.
Shut up, okay? Oh, here she comes.
Hey, honey.
What did the doctor say? Nothing.
It's nothing.
It's fine.
Just [sighs.]
Your chi is lower than I'd like it to be, but these crystals should help.
I'd also like to do some Reiki.
Oh, that would be great.
You know what else would be great? Getting a freaking MRI.
Wow, you seem really angry.
- May I see your tongue? - You may not.
You know, I don't think this is helping Frankie.
Well, I don't think this is a real thing.
Don't listen to her.
There's some tea I'd like you to take three times a day.
[Frankie.]
Hmm.
You know what? If you could brew it, it would be great.
Tea? - Tea.
- Tea.
Marshmallow root, dandelion leaf, reishi mushroom, wild lettuce, and a little something I like to call "Mark Bark.
" Well, let me get my wizard staff and pointed hat.
That is a different tea.
Come on, Grace.
Who's the doctor here? Nobody! Nobody's the doctor here! Wow.
[groans.]
That's like nothing I've ever smelled before and I work with fertilizer.
This is ridiculous.
Look, I know this isn't your thing, and it might not even be my thing, but it is her thing.
Well, her thing is also holding her breath every time a plane flies overhead.
Say what you want, but a plane's never emptied its toilets over your house.
That's why she does that? Yeah.
[Mark.]
Hey guys, be sure to keep the tea covered! There's a lot of star-constellation energy in there! Makes total fucking sense! Thanks, Mark! [Mark chanting indistinctly.]
Here it is.
Oh, great.
Thanks, you guys.
Now, remember you are a student of the leaf and the tea is your plant teacher.
Just drink mindfully.
And try not to throw it up because it tastes like horse shit.
You might want to hold your nose.
The smell alone could kill you.
Hmm.
It's not bad.
It doesn't really have any taste at all.
Let me make sure you made it right.
- [sputters.]
- [Grace.]
Oh.
No, that's right.
[exhales.]
- Anything? - Nothing! Why can't I taste anything? I don't know, but you should probably get to the hospital.
- No! - Oh! Frankie, we had a deal.
Yes, but I didn't think this would happen! [smacking.]
[man over P.
A.
.]
Satellite pharmacy, pick up 2346.
Are you kidding me? You're at the hospital now? We're waiting to talk to the doctor.
Give me the phone.
Give me the phone.
Hang on, your mom wants to talk to you.
Hi, sweetheart.
Hey, Mom.
We're coming to the hospital.
Oh, no.
Stay there.
We'll be home soon.
Are you sure? We really want to see you.
Well, it was just some routine tests.
Peed in a cup blah, blah, blah.
You know the drill.
Yes, I do.
All right, well, we'll be waiting for you when you get here.
Okay? - Love you.
- Love you too.
Good God! Fishing rights! How long are these piddlings to go on? Yeah? How long? - How long is all this going to go on? - Sit down, jerk! - Hey.
Get your hands off me.
- Animals, get out! I bought a ticket! [door closes.]
Well [clears throat.]
We are I think what Mr.
Adams is trying to say is, he has been sitting here for three full days.
We have endured by my count 85 separate changes Be gone, you drunk! And though my colleague is afflicted by the drink, he doth uttereth the truth.
[silent mouthing.]
For we have indeed witnessed 85 changes.
The nurse said the doctor is on his way.
- [sighs.]
- Stop worrying.
Whatever it is, it's going to be okay.
Well, just keep talking.
Your voice calms me down.
I've heard great things about this hospital.
You're in good hands.
Why don't we just be quiet for a little while? Okay Sounds good to me.
Can I go now? - Don't you want to know what's going on? - No, not really.
Well, you pulled me out of an Ed Sheeran concert, so I feel like I kind of owe you.
All right.
Knock yourself out.
Well, it looks like you had a TIA, which is essentially a mini-stroke.
Oh, my God.
I had a feeling.
[Jacob.]
What does that mean? Well, the TIA doesn't do any visible damage to the brain tissue, but something else did show up on your scan.
You see this spot there? Is that the button I snorted up my nose when I was four? No.
It's an old lesion.
And while we can't pinpoint it exactly, it does indicate that you had a fairly significant stroke about ten years ago.
No, no, that can't be right.
How is that possible? Well, it's actually fairly common.
The symptoms could have been easily overlooked: some weakness, dizziness, it could even happen in your sleep.
But what does that mean? You're a candidate for another stroke.
Oh, God.
What does she do now? Well, I'm going to put her on some blood thinners and some statins, and before you leave, I'm gonna give you information about Transient Ischemic Attacks and some recommended lifestyle changes.
Exercise, nutrition, that kind of thing.
Any questions? No.
Thank you so much, Dr.
Weintraub.
- Appreciate it.
- No problem.
Thank you.
This is a good thing.
Now we can be on top of it, right? I want to go home.
- Hey, Mom, how are you? - How's it going? - [Mallory.]
What happened? - Hey, guys.
Oh, that's a good blood pressure cuff.
It's the new one.
So psyched.
Uh, what exactly did the doctor say? Well [clears throat.]
He said that, um that I had a stroke.
A mini-stroke.
There was no damage to brain tissue, which is good.
- Grace - But - But what? - Mom? Apparently, I had a more significant stroke, he thinks, around ten years ago.
- Wow.
- Oh, my God.
And you didn't know? No.
I had no idea.
Wait.
There was that time we went to see Superbad and you started spouting gibberish at Jonah Hill.
No, no, that wasn't a stroke.
They hadn't perfected edibles back then.
Wait.
About ten years ago? That's when we all went to Napa.
- Oh, yeah.
- What about it? You got lost for half a day in a vineyard.
I didn't get lost.
I was hiding in a vineyard.
- From what? - Grapes.
And they hadn't perfected edibles yet.
All of this is gonna change.
As the doctor said, we have some major lifestyle changes to make.
And I'm gonna help you.
First thing tomorrow, we're going to get you a nutritionist, gonna start an exercise program.
Good God! Why don't you go get your gun and shoot me in the face like you wanted to all along.
You know what? I'm going to cancel my trip to Santa Fe this week.
No.
I don't want anybody cancelling anything for me.
I don't want to be away from you.
Maybe I should go with you.
The desert could do me some good.
Right now? What, are you fresh out of cow skulls? Yes.
As a matter of fact I am.
All right, you know what, kids? It's been a long day and your mom needs rest.
So - Yeah.
- Thank you.
Bye, sweetheart.
Oh, man.
Did anybody text Dad? How about a "Golda Meir"? - Really? - [cell phone buzzes.]
[woman over P.
A.
.]
Dr.
Katz, to Labor and Delivery [sighs.]
[Bud sighs.]
- Weird night, huh? - Mm-hmm.
- Are you okay? - Yeah, why? I don't know, when you came out of the hospital and said you were fine something didn't feel right about that.
Oh, God, you know me so well.
Should I be worried? - What did the doctor say? Is it serious? - No.
A bunch of stuff.
And yes.
Allison, tell me.
I'm here, okay? [chuckles.]
I'm pregnant.
Are you still here? Yes.
Of course.
Of course.
Are you sure? Well, my blood has lied to me before, but the doctor seemed pretty sure.
Well, I mean - This is very - Surprising.
Surprising.
Yes.
But it's also challenging? Very, very challenging.
But also - Information that is - Private.
Yes.
But also For fuck's sake, Bud, just tell me what you think.
I think Me, too.
[door opens, slams shut.]
You ruined my opening night.
I'm sorry.
Frankie got sick and I I'm not talking about you walking out on my show twice.
And while that was extremely annoying, I'm talking about that wretched heckler.
- Oh, that was unbelievable.
- Yes! I guess something must have gotten him really revved up.
I Robert I know it was you, Sol.
You threw the Pepsi at that kid, didn't you? It was a Mr.
Bubbly and it was an accident.
Well, you accidentally accelerated that situation.
If you had just let them be, like I asked you to, no one would have paid any attention and they would have just crawled back under the rock they came from.
But if I hadn't said anything We'd be celebrating over drinks at the cast party.
What was I supposed to do? Let.
It.
Go.
No! I can't.
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is "for good men to do nothing.
" My father had that quote framed and hung in our living room.
I saw it every day.
I'm not going to let this go, Robert.
Especially Especially after what they did to you today.
Those people fucked with the wrong bored old man! Now, go in there and wash that makeup off your face.
I planted these crab apple trees when I bought the place.
There's a family of mule deer who come by every evening.
There's a mother, and father, two little ones.
They've just about picked this tree clean.
Oh, it sounds so beautiful.
- Yeah, they do get gassy.
- [door opens.]
[Grace.]
Knock-knock.
You left your reading glasses downstairs.
I thought you might need them.
Thank you.
And, um, you left these downstairs, too.
Since you have your glasses, maybe you want to take a look.
If it's all right with you, I'll read them later.
- Have you taken your blood pressure yet? - No.
- Would you like me to show you how - No.
I would not.
Okay.
Oh, by the way, if you're still thinking about going to Santa Fe, it is really not a good idea to fly right now.
We're thinking maybe we'd drive.
Make it a nice road trip.
Yeah, I asked about that, too.
She's not supposed to sit for long stretches.
You know, she has to get up and walk around every half hour.
For circulation.
Who did you ask? Dr.
Weintraub.
- You called him? - Yes! To find out if it was all right for you to travel so soon.
You called my doctor? Frankie.
It's okay.
No, it's not okay.
You don't get to call my doctor.
You're not my mother.
You're not my husband.
From now on, if I have any questions, I'll call him.
Oh, will you? Because you were going to take a trip without ever talking to him.
Where are you going? Don't leave.
I'm not leaving.
I just think you two need for me not to be here.
- [Frankie sighs.]
- [door opens.]
Why are you angry with me? Would you prefer if I gave you a kiss and said thank you? Yes! I was right! There is something serious that you needed to know about so you could take care of it.
This is not what I want my life to look like! So you have to take a few pills and check your blood pressure.
That's not your life.
I take pills.
My God, this is America, everybody takes pills.
It's not just the pills.
I was much happier not knowing.
Now I'm going to wake up every morning thinking about spots on my brain.
Every time I stumble over a word I'm going to think, "It's happening again!" Or wonder "Will I even get to finish my sentence?" It scares the shit out of me.
Oh, you want to talk about scared? Let's talk about it.
Today, in the car? I thought I was watching you die right in front of me.
I was terrified that I was losing my best friend.
I did what I was supposed to do for somebody that I care about.
I did the right thing and I am not gonna apologize for it.
Would you please tell Jacob to come in on your way out? [Bahamas' "Lost In The Light" playing.]
[door closes.]
[sighs.]
I'm lost in the light I pray for the night To take me To take me too After so many words Still nothing's heard Don't know what we should do So if someone could see me now Let them see you [chorus humming.]
[woman.]
Okay, good night.